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Dadonequus Discord Part 199

Erf1111 May 29th, 2016 (edited) 295 Never
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  1. >You cover your eyes as you whine from the eye pain. You could only hear a loud ringing in your ear as you fall off the chair and roll about on the floor.
  2. "Gyaaaahhhh!"
  3. >It didn't take long after for Spike to rush into the room due to the sounds of your screaming, he throws the envelope onto the map table as he rushed up towards you. By this point, you had finally stopped yelling. But you refused to open your eyes, and you still only heard a ringing in your ears.
  4. >"Anon? Anon! Are you ok?! What happened?!"
  5. >You didn't answer, you just turned to your side as you tried to open your eyes, only to see a burning white light. Dammit, You had forgotten that no matter what the situation is. Discord can and will prank you.
  6. >You whined and grumbled, unaware of Spike's presence.
  7. >"Oh geez, Anon, come on. You're scaring me here. Don't just lay there, answer me! Darn it!" Spike stomped his right foot in the ground in frustration "Twilight never mentioned something like this could happen. What is it? Did something come in and scare you?" Spike took a look around, there was nothing "No....oh, did you fall asleep and have a nightmare? Bad memory...something? Don't just lay there, speak to me!"
  8. >But you did, you did just lay there. With the outline of the room slowly becoming visible through the white as the ringing slightly dulls. You could swear you could hear a panicked voice.
  9. >Spike didn't know what was wrong. And he couldn't get an answer out of you. He thought you may have lost your senses, maybe your mind. There was only one thing to do.
  10. >"Sorry Anon, but you made me do this."
  11. >Spike grabs your tail, something you notice, and before you could even ask who was there. You feel a painful bite upon it.
  12. "YAGH!"
  13. >You jump up and run around in a circle, thinking there was something clamped to it. There wasn't. But thanks to the pain, it seemed to have recovered your other senses faster.
  14. "G-geez! What was that?!"
  15.  
  16. >You look around, things were still a little blurry. But you could clearly see Spike was behind you.
  17. "W-what happened? Spike? what happened to my tail. It felt like-"
  18. >"Somepony bit it? Yeah I did" Spike looked pretty concerned about you "What happened to you? You were screaming and whining, and on the ground like somepony punched your gut or something."
  19. >Ugh, it was the fucking Flashbang cellphone. But, despite the fact that you wanted to strangle Discord. You didn't want to make mention that it was him. ugh..time to make something up.
  20. "I dunno, just cramped up. Geez, you didn't have to bite my tail"
  21. >You looked back at it, and plopped on your butt so you could give it a rub.
  22. >"Cramped up?" Spike didn't believe that for a second "Yeah, sure. And I'm Nightmare Moon. Anon, that wasn't any cramp I've ever seen. And if it was a cramp. Then why did it clear up when I bit your t.....ohhhh, I see."
  23. >Spike huffed, and crossed his arms "You know, if you didn't want to go to the bowling alley, you just had to ask. Geez Anon, all that just because you didn't wanna roll a ball?"
  24. >What?!
  25. >Shit, did you give that impression?
  26. "Nononono, Spike, you got it all wrong. It was just one of those quick cramp things....I forget the name of...whatever. Point is, I'm fine. See?"
  27. >You wave your legs about.
  28. "Totally ready to go bowling."
  29. >You actually felt pretty enthusiastic to go. That prize sounded pretty damn great. And, well, maybe hanging with Spike wouldn't be so bad.
  30. >Spike was now confused, if you made it up to not go bowling. you'd have no reason TO GO bowling. But if it was real...
  31. >"Woah woah, hold on, maybe I jumped the haystack a little there. I mean, if it's a real cramp then we shouldn't go. We'd need to be in tip top condition to win that prize. You don't have to fake it for my sake"
  32. >....goddammit.
  33. "No, really. I'm fine, see?"
  34. >You hop around, even doing a small dance with a few "ratatatas" thrown in.
  35. "See?"
  36.  
  37. >Spike was rubbing his chin. If you were able to do a small dance. Then...well..he still had one question. "So these cramps just come and go? Huh...weird. I've never heard of it. I'm gonna have to ask Twilight about it when she gets back. She'd know about it. And if it's some medical thing. I'm pretty sure a doctor could help you out."
  38. >.....goddammit, this was becoming more needlessly complicated by the second.
  39. "Spike, I'd rather not. Look, it just happened. That's all. It's super incredibly rare, there are probably a pony or two that experience once in their life somewhere. Can we just drop it?"
  40. >"Alright alright, if you say so. But if it happens again. Straight to the hospital with you. Got it?" Spike wanted you to understand. Although he was just a baby dragon. He now felt responsible for you, he felt he was the only one who could do something for you should anything happen.
  41. >It wasn't exactly a bad thing either. It meant behind that arrogant exterior was a heart of gold...or maybe silver. Just a good guy at heart really. But then again, you already knew that from the show.
  42. "Got it"
  43. >With that, Spike grabs the envelope from the table as you both make your way to the entrance hall.
  44. >"This is going to be great Anon, trust me. We'll go in, play a practice game or two. Then go for the perfect game. I just hope you got your stomach ready. Because when they say all you can eat, they mean it." spike started to drool at the thought of it "All those gems..."
  45. >you were smiling, even if it was Spike. You never really got to hang out with a male aside from Discord. You were kind of getting sick of holding back some of your male traits...such as.
  46. >You let out a small burp as you both walk to the front door.
  47. "Heh...it feels nice to let one out every once in awhile."
  48. >"Err...yeah."Spike seemed to be a little uncomfortable "I know what you mean..."
  49.  
  50. >Y'know. Maybe you shouldn't give Spike too much shit or try not to lie to him too much. He did stop Twilight from sealing you up for good. You pretty much owed him your life. He was truly a hero. Yeah....he still could be a massive faggot sometimes though.
  51. >As for the reason he felt uncomfy..
  52. "Yeah...Twilight beating us in that contest was kinda...all kinds of weird. She's never burped like that before?"
  53. >"Nah, Twilight doesn't usually just burp out of nowhere. I still don't get how she managed to do it. My only guess is that since she never burps then when she does burp, it's like, a mass of all the burps she never does. Make sense?"
  54. "Sorta, you mean like gas builds up in a pipe, and if it's let out, it just explodes outwards?"
  55. >"Yeah, kinda like that"
  56. >That probably wasn't it..or it could be. Who knew how some of the shit you used to know works now? Everything so far was mostly the same. Except being a horse of course.
  57. >Spike puts his hand on the front door and prepares to push it forward. "It's fine though, because were about to eat like kings."
  58. >But as the door opens, both you and Spike see a small army of colts in front of the door and down the steps. All of them wearing a sombra horn necklace.
  59.  
  60. >They let out a loud cheer. The booming sound and amount of colts make your eyes go wide in shock as you immediately close the door and begin to sweat.
  61. >Oh shit...OH SHIT. What was that all about?! Why are there colts there?! Unless...wait...
  62. >But as your mind starts to think back to the little filly back at the fast food diner. You notice Spike is also in shock, breathing hard as he holds the door closed.
  63. "Spike? So you saw what I saw huh?"
  64. >"Yeah! We gotta get outta here Anon. I never ever thought for even a second that a cult of midget ponies would come and try to avenge King Sombra. Ogh, I need Twilight right now!"
  65. >.......
  66. "Spike, I don't think those are midget ponies. I think those are foals"
  67. >"Foals? Then what's with all the Sombra horns?"
  68. "Because it's like my horn. I was told by a filly that I had a fan club due to my heroic acts. I think that's them. Ugh, this isn't good"
  69. >Spike didn't find a problem with that. He actually thought that was kind of cool. "what's the problem? that's actually pretty cool Anon. That pretty much makes you like me...almost, you still have to beat a big time villain like I did. Buuuuuuuut what you've done is close enough. Why not embrace it like I do. There's a lot of nice perks that come with herodom."
  70. >....maybe...except...
  71. "Spike, this fanclub is ran by Snips and Snails."
  72. >Spike cringed immediately upon hearing those names "....ehhhhhh, ok. I see your point now." Spike opens the door slightly just to peer outside, there was still colts. "Why don't we just use your horn to get past them?"
  73. > God fucking dammit.....You could if you actually still had it? Should you lie again?.....probably not. You still had a few more days at the castle. And if there was any instance you had to use the horn and you didn't have it. You'd have to explain why. Might as well tell Spike, maybe he could keep it a secret?
  74. "Can you keep a secret Spike? I mean. I don't want you telling anypony"
  75.  
  76. >"Sure, if we're gonna be close pals, then we gotta be able to keep each others secrets." Spike pumps his chest with his fist "Trust is important when it comes to friendship,So go ahead, what is it? Does it have to do with the horn?"
  77. >Here goes...you hoped this wasn't a dumb move.
  78. "Yeah, it does. During my date, I used the horn to barge into the Princesses' castle. You see, Diamond Tiara REALLY wanted to meet a princess. And I wanted to oblige her, since that would clench the date. Well, it did. And she was happy. But Princess Celestia took my horn away as punishment for what I did. I'll get it back, but not until my visit with Twilight is done."
  79. >Spike...actually felt for you "Harsh. Well Anon, don't feel bad ok? If I was taking Rarity on a date and she wanted to see the Princesses. Then I would have totally done the same thing. So don't sweat it" Spike gave you a cool and confident look as he pointed to himself "This dragon totally gets it, so don't worry. Your secret is safe with me"
  80. >.....d'awww..Spike. That was actually really based.
  81. "...Thanks Spike...mnn"
  82. >You look back at the front doors. Should you just try? Try to talk to them? Maybe if you just tell them off. Or just try to get them to go away nicely..or something. You couldn't just let those colts hang there. Nor could you just hide in the castle. This had to be resolved in some way before Twilight and....Fluttershy came back. Oh man...you didn't want Fluttershy getting involved. Poor thing.
  83.  
  84. "mnnn...."
  85. >You let out a long breath. You had to do something.
  86. "Ok, so their fearless leaders are probably out there waiting too. I think I should just go out there and tell them...something. Just to get them to leave us alone. What do you think?"
  87. >Spike shrugged "Dunno, but whatever you wanna do. I'm right behind you Anon, consider me you're temporary number one assistant. It's like a regular number one assistant, but only until this is over. We still gotta go bowling"
  88. >Dammit Spike...you were making it really hard to consider you a massive faggot right now.
  89. >Hell, you had to turn your head as you began to get a tear in your eye.
  90. "T-thanks, really Spike. Thanks...."
  91. >You take another breath
  92. "Ok.....ok....let's do it"
  93. >You push open the doors, once again standing before the small army of colts. The moment they see you. They cheer out your name. "Anon! Anon! Anon!"
  94. >You smiled sheepishly, nervously raising your hoof to hail them. You were thinking of something to say as the young foals looked at you with awe, chanting your name excitingly.
  95. >The moment they see your hoof, they cheer all the louder.
  96. >"Everypony! Hold your applause! For we..." You hear an arrogant, scratchy voice chuckle "the head future heroes wish to speak."
  97. >You and Spike look in the middle of the crowd. It was Snips and Snails. Wearing red sashes around their necks.
  98. >And despite Snips asking them to calm down, they didn't.
  99. >"I SAID HOLD YOUR APPLAUSE!" Snips yelled out
  100. >They stopped, all stepping away from them. Snails looked a little confused and whispered to Snips that they weren't applauding. They were cheering.
  101. >"Isn't that the same thing?" Snips asks Snails.
  102. >Snails just shrugs.
  103. >As dumb as fucking ever.
  104.  
  105. >spike whispers to you "How in the hay did they get so many followers?"
  106. >You whisper back
  107. "I actually have no idea, when I heard about the club. I didn't think they had this many members. It's insane."
  108. >All this because of your status. Holy shit, everyday. Consequences and effects of your actions were coming back to haunt you. But even then, no matter what. There's no fucking way this many colts. And upon further inspection. a few fillies. could be following these two hacks.
  109. >"Anon the hero colt. We present to you your adoring fans." Snips smiles happily about it all as he works through the crowd to step closer to you, Snails following. "Pretty sweet,huh?"
  110. "uh huh.."
  111. >You say sarcastically
  112. "Snips, how exactly did you get this all together? Don't you remember what happened last time we met?"
  113. >"We both do. And we apologize about it too. We realized taking the items of a true hero was wrong. But...we also realize why you were so harsh to us"
  114. >Because you hated them? Please let them say that..
  115. "What is that exactly?"
  116. >"That heroing is hard. Snails and me we're really not ready back then. But we also realized that you only wanted to toughen us up! So we did, as for how we got this all together? Well, since we had managed to toughen up thanks to your teachings. We were ready for an unexpected fight against a spiked shell turtle dragon. And we won!"
  117. >No....surely they must had come to the conclusion that it was a dream.
  118. >It seemed Spike, not even knowing shit about it, thought the same thing "Really?....reeeaaalllyy? You two? Sounds like a dream to me. Do you even have any proof?"
  119. >Snips arrogantly looked to Snails "Snnnaaiiillss?"
  120. >Snails presents a bag with a piece of claw, and some red hair. "This is the proof, all approved by the town appraiser, ay. We are totally telling the truth"
  121. >Snips nods "Totally.....sorta. Actually, we aren't true heroes ourselves yet. A talking parasprite helped us fight that thing...it was kinda weird actually."
  122.  
  123. >"Yeah..." snails was pondering on it "When I think about it...it sorta seemed dreamish, but" Snails then gives you a dumb, vacant look "But it definitely happened, Definitely absolutely ay. I just wish we didn't have help. Then we would have been heroes for sure."
  124. >"Yeah, but thats why we need to train. So we don't need a magical parasprite's help next time." Snips then turns to you "And thats why we're here Anon. So we can all train under you and be real heroes!"
  125. Then another colt speaks up "Yes! And rightfully so! Anon is a true hero, when I had spent all my money during Nightmare Night, he came to my rescue he did! gave me his money out of pocket so I wouldn't have to explain it to me mother. A true hero indeed! Hurrah for Anon!"
  126. >That was pip, then a....familiar brown colt with a propeller cap spoke up. "I wanna be able to blow up and survive like Anon did in class! Hurrah for Anon!"
  127. >And then a pegasi colt spoke up, was that Rumble? You couldn't remember. "I wanna be able to protect my friends like Anon protects Equestria! Hurrah for Anon!"
  128. >"Hurrah for Anon! Hurrah for Anon!" The crowd cheered.
  129. >And then they slowly began to advance. Oh shit..OH SHIT!
  130. >How?! How could you drop pieces of Bowser? Was your defeat that horrible that you got shredded that badly? Christ.
  131. >Spike was doubtful about all of this. Those two beating ANY dragon? It made no sense to him. "Woah woah woah, hold on. You two beat A dragon? With the help of a talking Parasprite? Are you serious? Does nopony see how dumb that sounds? The smart thing they did was probably trick that appraiser, there's no way it's real"
  132. >"Again, if I may speak sir. It is indeed real. The hairs of the dragon were put to the test in extreme temperature and they did not burn. It is indeed real" Pip speaks up again.
  133.  
  134. >"....And just because of that you all decided to follow these two?" Spike's words were a little shaky now, the hair wouldn't even burn? That had to be a dragon. He himself didn't have full knowledge of dragons either despite being one. And he couldn't fathom anyone actually following these two. But the entire group nodded. It seemed since Snips and Snails were the apparent closest to being a "Hero", that they'd be the ones to follow who would then follow you....christ.
  135. >....you needed to back pedal. You look to the crowd and announce
  136. "Well ok then! I definitely see why you're all here and...err..could you all just wait here while I speak to my friend..thanks"
  137. >You start stepping back, beckoning to Spike to step back into the castle so you can close the doors. He does.
  138. "...Spike....you got any ideas on how to fix this?"
  139. >Shit...those two. Those fucking two. You couldn't figure out how to fix this. If only you had the damn horn.
  140. >"No idea, geez, who would have thought ANYPONY would follow those two dumbdumbs. How could they really defeat a dragon anyway? I bet they didn't, must have been something close to it. But it couldn't have been any stronger than a foal."
  141. >Wait..
  142. "Spike, you're a genius!"
  143. >Spike was confused "Wha-huh? What do you mean?"
  144. >Oh man! If everyone knew you were the dragon. Then not only would Snips and Snails lose credibility. But maybe you could shrug off some of your own growing rep as well! Finally, FINALLY. The truth will set you free!
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