/sus/ - Never Be Game Over

from /sus/ Thread #1002: Chalk and Apples Edition
h ttps://desuarchive.org/trash/thread/62710870/#62779462
h ttps://pastes.psstaudio.com/post/c88edfb6136842c19d8278330da1a457
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Never Be Game Over

>Susie wakes in a cold sweat, tears already streaming down her face
>It's not the first time she's cried in her sleep
>She knows how to muffle her own whimper into a sleepy sigh, how to wipe her eyes and sit up before anyone can see
>It’s a reflex, unconscious, automatic
>This time, however, “anyone” is a special case
>Her best friend, Kris Dreemurr, asleep in his bed on the other side of the room
>He lies on his side, one hand under his cheek, snoring shockingly loudly
>His thin, pale features catch the moonlight that arcs through the window, soft, sleepy and peaceful
>Susie takes a deep breath, grits her teeth as she tries to calm herself
>The dream still won’t fade, not completely
>As quietly as she can, she swings her legs out of Kris’s brother’s bed and shuffles downstairs
>The Dreemurr residence is silent and still as she tiptoes to the kitchen, fills a glass of water at the sink
>She drinks it greedily, trying to pretend that the queasy feeling in her stomach is just a candy and soda hangover from the sleepover
>It isn’t.
>The last thing she saw before waking is still in her mind's eye
>Images of Kris
>Of her dearest friend
>Broken like a toy left in the driveway
>Bleeding from a hundred wounds.
>Cold and still, no matter how much she begged, no matter how much she screamed
>Susie swallows hard
>Her claws skate across the kitchen counter as she grips down, screeching as they go
>She is no stranger to nightmares
>Does she have more than her fair share?
>Maybe, but they always fade in the morning, especially these days
>Now that she has things in her life worth waking up for
>This dream, though…
>It paralyzes her. Steals the breath from her lungs. Makes her feel cold and lonely and very, very scared
>She rubs furiously at her eyes with the sleeve of the ratty old hoodie currently doing double-duty as her pyjamas
>Stupid, she thinks. It’s just a dream, how come I’m getting so hung up on it?
-
>It’s not real. Probably just… ate too much shredded cheese last night or something
>Besides, it's not like it could actually happen.
>...But it could, couldn't it?
>Kris and Susie have been through more scrapes than she can count in the Dark World
>Each and every time they’ve come out on top
>Sometimes thanks to her brute strength
>More often, if she’s being honest, thanks to Kris’s charm and intelligence
>She trusts him, trusts that ability so completely that their unbroken string of victories seems obvious, barely even worth thinking twice about
>Well, she’s thinking twice about it now.
>More than twice
>She rolls it over in her head, prodding at it like a bad tooth
>For the first time, Susie realizes how close to the edge she and her friends have come
>How she and Kris and Ralsei danced within inches of absolute disaster
>If things had been just a little different… If they’d gone even slightly worse, missed a single attack or…
>The images return, stronger than before. Kris, her Kris, broken and ruined and gone
>Sweat beads on her scaly forehead. She swallows thickly, her heart racing in her chest
>Susie is *scared*.
>The thought of losing Kris has crossed her mind before, of course
>But the fear was always of it being her fault
>Pushing him too far, saying the wrong thing, karma from everything she'd done to him finally coming due
>The thought that he might be taken not just from her, but from everyone, from the whole world by something she can't even stop, no matter how hard she tries…
>Terror fills her, so total and sudden her knees start to shake
>Her breath comes in short, sharp gasps, her stomach clenching so hard her abs ache
>”Dammit. God DAMMIT.”
>”Susie?”
>She jolts upright, slowly turning to look over her shoulder
-
>Kris stands at the edge of the kitchen, sleepily rubbing his eyes
>He is wearing a set of pyjamas that are far, far too big for him, probably hand-me-downs from his father
>They drape around his slender frame like a wizard’s robe, a good few inches of extra sleeve trailing from the end of his hands
>Susie barely bites back a guffaw
>”Uh. H-hey, dude. What’s up? I didn’t wake you up, did I?”
>”I heard someone downstairs. Weird noises, like…”
>He peers into her eyes, curious and guileless, and she glances away with a huff
>”Everything okay?”
>God damn it.
>”Yeah. Just… Had a bad dream, I guess.”
>Susie blushes
>She didn't mean to say it so bluntly
>Stupid, she thinks. What am I, six? Help, Kwissy, I had a bad dweam? Come the hell on.
>But Kris doesn’t say any of that
>He just nods and leans against the wall
>”Do you want to talk about it?”
>She snorts
>Of course. Of course he’d say that
>”Nah. I’m good. It’s just a dream, dude. No reason to-“
>It's as though the question forms itself.
>Like the words, the sick feeling in her gut are alive, leaping from her lips before she can stop them
>”Kris, if I died, what would you do?”
>If it surprises him, he barely shows it. A tiny raise of an eyebrow as he takes his chin in his hand and thinks
>”We talked about this already, didn’t we? I’d go find the Dragon Balls and use them to-“
>”Kris.”
>It just doesn’t seem as funny as usual.
>Not tonight.
>”…Right. Sorry.”
>He takes a deep breath, sighs it out slowly
>”I don’t know.”
>Susie nods, scowling as she sets the glass in the drying rack
>”Yeah. It's a weird question, right? Ah, man, I'm tired. Let's just go back to-“
>”I wish I had an answer. I’ve thought about it before, after all.”
>”Whuh?”
>He smiles, but it’s frayed at the edges, brittle
>”You want some hot chocolate?”
>She knows how Kris makes his hot chocolate, practically just a candy bar melted into a mug
-
>Not really, she thinks
>”Uh, sure. Why not?”
>She sits on the couch while he makes it, listening to the crickets sing in the bushes outside
>After a moment, Kris sits beside her, hands her a mug full of deep brown sludge
>She sips at it cautiously
>It’s so sweet it makes her mouth ache and only allegedly a liquid
>Dreemurr signature hot cocoa. Love it or hate it, there's nothing quite like it
>Kris stares into his mug for a moment, eyes hidden behind his hair
>”Why'd you ask? What I'd do if you died, I mean."
>She’s still ashamed of it, embarrassed by the dream
>But lying to Kris feels wrong, more wrong than regular lying
>”I... I had a dream just now. That you died, in a fight in the Dark World."
>She turns away from him.
>It’s too much, saying it to his face, seeing him look up at her with those clear, crimson eyes while the dream still lives in her mind
>Kris nods, sets his mug on the table
>”I see."
>Before she can laugh it off, make a dumb joke or act tough like she usually does, before she can even scoff, his arms are wrapped around her stomach
>”What in the HELL-“
>His embrace is surprisingly firm, a lean strength in his skinny, almost bony arms
>”Knock it off!”
>She struggles, tries to pry him off, but he clings on
>”I have dreams like that too.”
>Susie freezes
>Her stomach drops
>”About you. About Ralsei. About Noelle and Berdly too.”
>She looks down at Kris, at his shoulders, trembling just a little as he presses his face into her side, at his hands, clutching fistfuls of her hoodie
>A great and terrible pity swells in her chest
>How long has he worried about this?
>How many sleepless nights?
>How many fights has she treated like a game while he was paralyzed by the same fear she's feeling right now?
>Kris's voice is muffled, vibrating in her hoodie, in her side
>"Because you all listen to me in fights. So if... if anything happened, that would make it my fault, wouldn't it?"
>"God, Kris..."
-
>She sighs, scratches awkwardly at her tousled brown hair
>”You never said anything.”
>He laughs, so quietly it’s barely more than a sigh
>”It’s a tough subject to bring up. You know how it is.”
>Susie smiles sheepishly, rubbing a hand across her jaw
>”Good point.”
>She leans back into the couch, presses a hand into her forehead
>”I guess it just… got me thinking. Like, we’ve been through a hell of a lot. We've won some real tough fights."
>She stares into the darkness in the corners of the room.
>"I used to think it was really cool. That it meant we were super badass, but now..."
>Now she thinks about Kris, or Ralsei, or Noelle or even that dumbass Nerdly motionless, cold
>Gone forever
>”It scares me too.”
>She startles at the sound of his voice
>”You asked what I'd do if you died. I don't know. If any of you died, I don't know what I'd do. I've thought about it, over and over and-"
>A hot wetness seeps into her hoodie
>Tears. He's crying.
>"Kris..."
>He shakes his head, looks up at her
>His eyes are still shining wet, but he smiles
>And Susie doesn't realize at first how feverish, how unsteady it is
>"It's okay. I won't let it happen. Not to any of you. I promise."
>Her heart swells with secondhand pride
>She knew he had it in him. Knew he's stronger than her, even if he doesn't show it
>"...Because I'll do whatever it takes to stop it, if it comes to that."
>Wait.
>"So it's okay. You don't have to be scared."
>She listens to Kris speak with a mounting sense of dread
>It's not just the words he's saying
>It's that she knows it's exactly what she would say, too
>And hearing it from him makes her realize how stupid she would have been to say it, how stupid they both are
>"I'll keep you safe. Even if it kills m-"
>"Shut the hell up."
>A shivering twitch of shock runs through Kris's body, up Susie's side as he holds her
>He looks up at her, dumbfounded
-
>"Don't *ever* say that. Don't even think it."
>Susie's eyes are hard, her lip curling in a snarl
>Her teeth gleam in the midnight darkness
>"How the hell do you think that would make me feel, huh? If you wound up dead because of me."
>Kris goggles at her
>"I... I didn't-"
>"Yeah, I *know* you didn't think of that."
>Because she knows she wouldn't have either
>She sighs, closes her eyes, and then puts one huge, scaly arm over the boy's shoulders
>"Listen, God forbid, but if it ever comes down to that... You worry about *you*. Fight like hell, do whatever it takes to win, but don't you dare die on me."
>Because I couldn't take it, she thinks.
>Because a world without you scares me more than anything.
>And I'm guessing you feel the same way.
>The fear turns to a burning resolve inside her
>To hell with sacrifice. To hell with dying.
>She'll fight as hard as she needs to, as hard as she can, for both of them
>So that it never, ever comes to that.
>"And I promise I'll do the same, yeah? So now you can stop worrying about me."
>"Susie..."
>Kris tightens his grip around her, just for a moment, enough to bring a smile to her face
>"You're really cool."
>She grins, reaches over and ruffles his hair
>Enjoys the silky feeling as it slips through her fingers
>"Hah. I know."
>They sit there, silent, sinking into each other, eyelids slowly growing heavy
>Just before she drifts off, one last question occurs to Susie
>"Kris... that thing you said earlier, about the Dragon Balls... You'd really do that for me?"
>Her voice is slurred with weariness, her head already slumping onto her shoulder
>Kris nods into her side, and she can feel his lips curling into a sleepy smile
>"Yeah. Of course."
>She smiles, her head lolling back onto the sofa
>"Badass."
>There are no more nightmares that night
>No more dreams at all, at least none that will be remembered in the morning
>Just warmth and closeness
>And the knowledge that no matter what comes, they'll face it together.
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Happy Monday, /sus/. Hope you all enjoy.