Tirk D&D 3- It's just a prank bro

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Thrice has connected.
tirkaroKujo:
h
Thrice:
crisis averted
Thrice:
wow it's weird
Thrice:
i forgot i was wrk
Thrice:
Also yeah as far as I know all the modules are p gud
Thrice:
There's HOARD OF THE DRAGON QUEEN(Rise of Tiamat is the second part of that)
Thrice:
(because you know, Tiamat IS the dragon queen)

Sunny Day:
it is something all right

Sunny Day:
ive been reading uuuuh that one ravenloft thing and turns out it was actually by the dudes who made the original ravenloft and is probably the only campaign I've seen that uses detailed isometric maps

Sunny Day:
the kind we sometimes use
Thrice:
Then Curse of Strahd, Elemental Evil, and Rage of Demons
Thrice:
that's Curse of Strahd yeah
Thrice:
slash Return to Ravenloft maybe?

Sunny Day:
it's curse of strahd
Thrice:
I think they're the same thing

Sunny Day:
which is part of return to ravenloft or something idk
MarthTrinity has connected.
Thrice:
*hack//signs MT's head off*

Sunny Day:
fun fun fun
Thrice:
sure is https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpRREHM1ziA
Agidius has connected.

Sunny Day:
the gangs all here

Wini (Skunk):
u bet

Sunny Day:
THEY SURE ARE....ALL HERE....
Thrice:
Not for long tho
Cilicia: (( Probably not. ))
Thrice:
Told ya
Wini (Skunk): (( I should probably heat up some dinner. ))
Thrice:
Why do you never buy yourself a sandwich
Thrice:
Like you work at a sandwich shop
Thrice:
you have that ability
Wini (Skunk): (( because that adds another 5 minutes to the time it takes us to close. ))
Thrice:
do it ten-15 minutes before you close
Wini (Skunk): (( then it gets cold. ))
Thrice:
or half an hour, it's a fucking sandwich
Thrice:
>warm sandwiches
Thrice:
THEN PUT IT IN THE WARMER FOR HALF AN HOUR
Wini (Skunk): (( it's a no-win situation Thrice ))
Wini (Skunk): (( THE FUCK IS A WARMER ))
Wini (Skunk): (( WE DON'T HAVE THOSE ))
Thrice:
WHAT THE SHIT MAN
Wini (Skunk): (( WE MAKE SHIT FRESH ))
Thrice:
It's just a heating cabinet nigga
Wini (Skunk): (( UNLIKE YOUR 7/11 ASS ))

Sunny Day:
Last we left off, the crew set out to find Wini the Witch-turned-Skunk, and are in general having kind of a shitty day thanks to her antics. While trying to trail her scent, they're suddenly blockaded by a RANDOM ENCOUTNER -dun dun-
Thrice:
our deli makes most everything fresh
Thrice:
we have no actual food outside of that.
Thrice:
It's all just junk food.
Thrice:
And like, packages of ham or SPAM
Thrice:
I -wish- we had shitty burritos or hot dogs

iYAMAU:
This encounter doesn't seem so random to me

iYAMAU:
our deli closes at 2 for the record, agi.

iYAMAU:
or 12 on saturday.

Sunny Day:
"Sorry, but we've been placed ehre as uh...what do they call them in the waking world...?
Wini (Skunk): (( PM? ))
iYAMAU: (( yes ))

Cloudy Day:
"Sentries, Sunny"
Myxy: (( SENTINELS ))

Sunny Day:
"Yes! Yes, sentries! So state your name and business here."

Rainy Day:
"We kind of have strict orders, you see."

Cilicia:
"Flowers with strict orders? How bizarre."

Myxy:
Myxy grimaces and stares the flowers down, "...for now we are slaves of the church. Move."

Sunny Day:
"We can't move. We're flowers. I think you take your whole 'having legs' thing for granted here."

Cloudy Day:
"Church, uh, you mean like, the one in that uhhh....high elf place? Golly, I remember so many of those losers used to pass through here like they owned the ding darn place."

Cilicia:
"Then we need to walk around you." Cilicia sniffs the air again, "I understand that you're sentries...here for a reason...but someone has already come through this area and we're trying to bring her back."

Rolf:
"Pfft, what do you think you're doing? Being bossed around by flora? Lesser life forms like these deserve no notice." Rolf carries on the road like usual.

iYAMAU:
"I'm so glad they have eyes! It'll make the revenge shot for when they kill him satisfying in some way."

Cilicia:
"I assume this is the part where he gets horribly maimed for his ignorance...?"

Cloudy Day:
*WHAP* Before you can react, the elvaan boy is restrained by the sharp, prickly vines of the Rose monster. "No, but that's a good idea anyway."

Rolf:
"H-hey, no fair! Let me go!" Rolf flails and jitters whilst being hung upside-down.

Rainy Day:
"On second thought, it seems the ones who set up this post are coming by right about....now, so we may as well keep you here just in case you were planning any....dubious acts."
tirkaroKujo:
And what do you know, from afar you hear the flaps and floogles of many wings, some large, some small, but whatever they are, they're homing in close, and fast.

Myxy:
Myxy nocks an arrow as her eyes shift from one flowah to the next, "Let us through. You'll regret otherwise."

Rolf:
"What are you DOING!? Don't give these floral fiends the time of day!!! Shoot me down already!" Rolf stammers while all the blood rushes to his head.

Myxy:
Myxy rolls her cold, bored eyes, "A tactician you are not."
tirkaroKujo:
And so while you're tensly staring at the flowers, you're suddenly ambushed by a dangerous gang! And by that I mean a bunch of pixies and a few birds fly in.

Sunny Day:
"Oooooh...looks like they're here already. Maybe you'll be let off the hook...maybe."

Myxy:
and now we have to fight all these flowers AND all these pixies

Myxy:
alone

Myxy:
god dammit agi

Mortimer:
"SQUAAAARK! It's a living."

Wini (Skunk):
you wanted this

Raspberry Death:
"Gaaaah! I can still smell that skunk stench! I hate it soooo MUCH! I HA- Oh hi there. Haven't seen you in....a few hours."

Marmy:
"Hey! New playmates! Do you know these people Raspberry?"

Myxy:
"Move these plants. Soon. He'll die otherwise."

Cilicia:
"Hrm? Well there's the pixie...but where's that cow?
Wini (Skunk): (( man. You guys are so outnumbered. ))

Raspberry Death:
"Uuuuhh...any reason why you're here in the first place?"

Raspberry Death:
"I thought you had some uh....duties to attend over in Dayeworn. Is this about the fact that one of the rooms in your church suddenly EXPLODED!? Do you think it was me or something?"

Beachy Keen:
"Holy crap! You *slang*ing exploded a church?!"

Raspberry Death:
"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Cilicia:
"I don't give a damn about that church or it burning up. I'm here to track down that bearbitch of a woman."

Myxy:
"They think it was us. I fear what will happen should we fail."

Raspberry Death:
The pixies fly over. "B-bear bitch, huh? Ah, I get it. That one witch of yours was an accomplice, and, knowing about your sinister plot, went off to tell the proper authorities?!"

Myxy:
"No. She framed us for her crime."

Myxy:
"Move. Warning, not a request."

Radia:
"That's weird. What reason would you have to accompany HER then?"

Raspberry Death:
"Hey, quiet you. I'm the one with the reporting skills. And trust me, I've dealt with BS of this caliber for decades. And I know Barley Soda when I hear it..."

Raspberry Death:
"Pixies! Get in positions! We have some good old fashion interrogating to do!"

Rolf:
"Blech....everythings...going white..."

Cilicia:
"Grrrr..." Cilicia growls, "I don't have time for this shit."

Marmy:
The pixies all rush to sit behind the sentry flowers like they're some kind of turrets.

Sunny Day:
*Chik-chak* In fact, they ARE turrets!
Tokens dropped onto map 'Map' by player Agidius (Player)

Gentleman:
*ahem*

Myxy:
"...we are outnumbered."

Grinn:
*spychecks*

Gentleman:
Merde!

Raspberry Death:
"So if you know at all what's good for you...speak up and tell the truth!"

Raspberry Death:
"Or if you dont know make up something amusing enough for me to be worth printing in the papers, this is a hard business to work with..."

Myxy:
"I told you. Move."

Cilicia:
"I thought you already had your story, dammit! That lying whore of a lady has been faking who she is for years, has an illegitimate kid and would rather fake her own death than own up to it! I'm here to drag her back by her fucking hair if I have to!" she barks back at the pixie, although not in the literal sense.

Myxy:
"Quit being a child." Myxy stares at the little pixos and flowers, "You are moving by your own will or not."

Myxy:
I'm rolling init soon

Myxy:
This is takin too long

Myxy:
As a sidenote

Myxy:
I don't have a fucking init macro for this, but it's not like we need one
Myxy: (( literlaly the ONLY macro I have is the stat genner, agi ))
Wini: (( players should really be able to allow themselves to initiative ))
Myxy: (( could ya at LEAST give me a hurt/heal one? ))
Wini: (( *add ))
Raspberry Death: (( I'll take responsibility for this since I'm spending most of this thinking to myself ))
Tokens dropped onto map 'Map' by player Agidius (Player)

Macro Badger:
there you go
Myxy: (( that'll do, honeypig ))
Myxy: (( that'll do ))
Macro Badger: (( I could walk in to the encounter right now probably. ))
Myxy: (( Depending on where you plan to walk in that might be a bad idea. ))
Macro Badger: (( then get swarmed by both parties. ))
Myxy: (( in fact I kind of hope MT goes before me. ))

Raspberry Death:
"Now you've really made me mad! That is a good story though, I'll tell you that much...."
Myxy: (( But there's no Hold action in 5e. ))
Myxy: (( Though Ready works I guess? ))

Myxy:
16 This is my initiative check, this is gonna be over quick.
Myxy: (( Cause more likely than not they're gonna all go before us ))
Myxy: (( and kill us. ))
Cilicia: (( d20+dex mod? ))
Wini: (( yeh ))

Cilicia:
15
Wini: (( I don't believe you have anything that boosts it ))

Raspberry Death:
"So how about this: We'll find your little witch mom to interrogate after this for you. Should make for an interesting story."

Grinn:
"That sounds neat yo. So why even bother fighting?"

Raspberry Death:
"Because I don't like being called 'child'!"

Myxy:
"I was talking to the fox."

Raspberry Death:
16

Raspberry Death:
"And I HATE being corrected even more!"

Myxy:
"...but you fit as well."
Myxy: (( how do init ties even work in this ))

Wini:
she probably fits everywhere

Wini:
she's so small
tirkaroKujo:
Wow I ENTIRELY forgot how to add to the init list

Myxy:
INITIATIVE Initiative determines the order of turns during combat. When combat starts, every participant makes a Dexterity check lOdetermine their place in the initiative order. The DM makes one roll for an entire group of identical creatures, so each member of the group acts at the same time

Myxy:
Oh god.

Myxy:
We're doomed.
Myxy: (( okay if it's a tie the DM decides for monsters and player decide for players, if it's between a monster and a player as here, roll a d20 or the DM decides. ))
Wini: (( 21 Rolling my init for if I end up involved in this combat which I probably should also damn it I never made dinner ))
Wini: (( I see. ))
Myxy: (( do badgers have 16 dex somehow ))
Wini: (( I'm not a badger. ))
Myxy: (( do YOU have 16 dex somehow ))
Wini: (( I'd be out of beastmorph ))
Wini: (( and out of beastmorphs. ))
Wini: (( ye ))

Marmy:
8
Myxy: (( they all act at once tirk ))
Myxy: (( if they're identical creawtures anyway ))
Myxy: (( tho you can just ignore that obviously ))
Marmy: (( they actually arent! ))

Marmy:
except for the color fairie ones, I guess those are all one unit

Plip:
6

Beachy Keen:
16 Me and ribbon will be a team too for the sake of simplicity

Myxy:
init's a beach

Rolf:
12 Oh I hate this
Myxy: (( I hope Rolf has HP. ))

Rolf:
"Gaaah...I hate everything about Pixies...They somehow always have the dirt on you..."

Myxy:
Otherwise I might kill him.
Myxy has received initiative.

Myxy:
Myxy's bow indeed begins to sing an eerily happy song, as it glows with a bright arcane light(a blue one, that's arcane right? Blue?). "I will move you myself. ...and the boy." Myxy dashes toward the little bitch-ass green pixie, and hopes she doesn't get KO'd before she gets there.

Raspberry Death:
"Quiet you, with the slightly malformed right ear your art conveniently obscures!"

Myxy:
For the record, I started Bowsong - that gives me 10 more movement speed, advantage on Acrobatics check which doesn't matter, and a bonus on Concentration checks and AC

Myxy:
equal to my Int mod which is 3 ATM

Rolf:
"NOOOOO!! THAT'S WHAT I'M SENSITIVE ABOUT!" Roll dat damage

Hey! Listen!:
NOW PLAYING Beatdown! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R-WsRDh5e_k

Myxy:
So, 40 movement.

Myxy:
Raspy gets to AoO me though, assuming tiny creatures can (waiting)

Myxy:
And there's nothing saying they can't in this edition

Rolf:
er, attack i meant

Rolf:
not damage

Rolf:
shit where did u go

Myxy:
here

Rolf:
oh there
Myxy: (( oh wait, it looks like they don't threaten in this edition either ))
Myxy: (( except their own square ))
Myxy: (( and I haven't moved outside the range of the flowers, which is the only thing that provokes AoO in this game ))

Raspberry Death:
"Woah! Hold on a second there!" Its okay i didnt even want to attack anyway.

Sunny Day:
"Teeheeheee! What do you think you are doing there?"

Myxy:
"I hate loud noises." Myxy's hand spark with sound right as she claps them, unleashing a giant wave of thunder! Which sadly doesn't paralyze anyone.
Myxy: (( Everyone make Con saves ))

Rolf:
"I should write a book about this...something about how my life got flipped, turned upside down..." 9
Myxy: (( A wave of thunderous foree sweeps out from you. Eaeh ereature in a 15-foot eube originating from you must make a Constitution saving throw. On a failed save, a ereature takes 2d8 thunder damage and is pushed 10 feet away from you. On a sueeessful save, the ereature takes half as mueh damage and isn't pushed. In addition, unseeured objeets that are eompletely within the area of effeet are automatically pushed 10 feet away from you by the spell's effeet, and the spell emits a thunderous boom audible out to 300 feet ))
Rolf: (( so whats the DC then ))

Myxy:
13

Rolf:
9

Rolf:
Rolf loses 9 hit points.
Cilicia: (( >inb4 only Rolf gets hurt ))
Myxy: (( I don't know what happens when he's pushed away. ))
Myxy: (( Well they'll get a LITTLE hurt ))
Myxy: (( they may not however be pushed. ))

Rolf:
"GAAAAAAAAHHH!" Rolf flies off, out of the spiny grip of the Rose flower.
Myxy: (( Also, RELALY LOUD SOUND. ))
Myxy: (( So get over here agi/ ))
Myxy: (( You tart. ))
Wini: (( aight I probably hear that yeh. ))

Plip:
"Oh nooooo!" Plip dex saves to try and dodge out of the way of the flying healman 4
Myxy: (( Their monster entries should say whether they're proficient in Con saves or not ))

Wini:
KRAKOW goes the thunderclap through the dusk of the feywild
Myxy: (( and what their bonus is ))

Rolf:
It's too late! Rolf goes KER-THRSH! Flying into the purple pixie! "Gaaaaaah...."

Plip:
3
    Error in body of roll.       Statement options (if any): if(dmgOrHealing == 0),CODE       Statement Body (first 200 characters): { [h:HP = HP - hpChange] [h:bar.Health = HP / MaxHP] [r:token.name] loses [r:hpChange] hit points. }; { [h:diff = MaxHP - HP] [h:HP = min(HP+hpChange, MaxHP)] [h:bar.Health
    Error in body of roll.       Statement options (if any): if(dmgOrHealing == 0),CODE       Statement Body (first 200 characters): { [h:HP = HP - hpChange] [h:bar.Health = HP / MaxHP] [r:token.name] loses [r:hpChange] hit points. }; { [h:diff = MaxHP - HP] [h:HP = min(HP+hpChange, MaxHP)] [h:bar.Health

Plip:
Plip loses 3 hit points.

Rolf:
Rolf loses 3 hit points.
Myxy: (( So far I have only manged to hurt Rolf. ))
Myxy: (( it hits everyone tho ))
Myxy: (( in the area obv ))
Marmy: (( wait what do you mean proficient in con saves ))
Marmy: (( is it not just adding the con modifier ))

Wini:
"It's nowhere near cloudy enough for there to be thunder - what could that have been?" Wini gets her sultry ass over to the general area
Wini: (( If you're proficient, it's Con + Proficiency bonus ))
Wini: (( which atm is 2 ))
Wini: (( it'll go up once every 5 levels ))
Wini: (( maybe it was every 4 ))
Wini: (( point being it goes up ))
Myxy: (( No, no ))
Myxy: (( the MM does things a -tiny- bit differently ))
Marmy: (( i do not see anything about proficiency bonuses here in these stat blocks ))
Myxy: (( if it doesn't list their saves, then they don't have proficiency and you just use the modifier for the stat ))
Marmy: (( sou ka ))
Myxy: (( like on page 246, the regular Orc doesn't list saves, the Orc War Chief has 3 listed ))

Marmy:
7

Marmy:
8

Marmy:
Marmy loses 8 hit points.

Grinn:
17 wow this move is BS im calling the OP police

iYAMAU:
"Magic's no fun if I don't get to do it..."
iYAMAU: (( it's ok ))
Wini: (( they're mooks, they can eat it ))
iYAMAU: (( not my fualt they're CR 1/2 ))
iYAMAU: (( when we're level 3. ))
iYAMAU: (( she only takes half the rolled damage and isn't pushed ))

Grinn:
3

Grinn:
Grinn loses 1 hit points.

Rainy Day:
6

Rainy Day:
3 "WHAT THE HECK!?" Rainy Day is completely uprooted.
iYAMAU: (( I'd recommend rolling saves first then rolling damage ))
iYAMAU: (( do it all at once to save time ))
iYAMAU: (( Good that's what I was going for. ))
iYAMAU: (( Get them away from each other. ))

Rainy Day:
Rainy Day loses 3 hit points.

Sunny Day:
24

Sunny Day:
"You...shall not pass." 7

Sunny Day:
Sunny Day loses 3 hit points.
iYAMAU: (( she'll prob still take more damage than the one that fail--the same ))
iYAMAU: (( Raspy is hit too ))

Raspberry Death:
"Oh, so I am!" 3

Raspberry Death:
11 nooooo

Myxy:
"Not as well as I'd hoped."

Raspberry Death:
Raspberry Death loses 11 hit points.

Raspberry Death:
"GAAAAAAAAAH!" Raspberry's head heads straight for Cilicia's head head-on roll dex.

Cilicia:
21
Wini: (( it occurs to me I could probably make a macro to mass-roll these things across all parties ))

Raspberry Death:
You dodge the rocketing raspberry! "Damn yooou!"
Wini: (( and save 8 minutes right there ))
Raspberry Death: (( that'd be great why didnt u do all this before ))
Myxy: (( You wouldn't be able to ))
Myxy: (( Tirk would still have to put in the saving throw bonuses ))
Myxy: (( As it's not just a matter of Con or proficiency ))
Wini: (( I can detect things that are selected and go through em individually, reading from the- damn it proficiency ))

Beachy Keen:
"All right, we can't afford to mess around here! Ribbon, follow my lead!"
Myxy: (( Like an Orc War Chief has 93 HP, and +4 Str, but only a +6 Str save ))

Raspberry Death:
"Grrrr...don't look at me like that!"
Myxy: (( so he definitely isn't like, level 5 proficiency ))
Wini: (( and I didn't make any macros at all because I wanted to see what we'd actually need here ))

Cilicia:
"This all could've been avoided, you know..."

Myxy:
"I warned you. Many, many times."
Wini: (( I make more macros out of necessity than creativity ))
Myxy: (( Also Thunderwave is really my only option. ))

Beachy Keen:
"Into formation!" and in a move I written down here but had no clue how to make it work mechanically, Beachy, Ribbon, and Raspberry here co-operatively grapple Cilicia :^|
Myxy: (( Ranged attacks have disadvantage when you're within 5 feet of someone who isn't incapacitated (Waiting) ))
Cilicia: (( Noooooo, grapples checks suckkkkkkk ))
Myxy: (( ...alos ))
Myxy: (( you rolled 2d6 on a lot of those ))
Myxy: (( it's 2d8 ))
Beachy Keen: (( pssst help me out here ))
Wini: (( Just give a +4 to the roll of the one who does it ))
Wini: (( or a +3 ))
Myxy: (( make a contested Athletics check ))
Myxy: (( it is not an attack roll ))
Myxy: (( MT can contest it with Acro if he wants ))
Wini: (( I imagine the others are assisting ))
Myxy: (( oh, then they use the Help action ))
Myxy: (( the one making the check gets Advantage ))
Beachy Keen: (( can it stack 3 times ))
Beachy Keen: (( as in, I roll 3 times ))
Myxy: (( not as far as I know but maybe. ))

Beachy Keen:
"Together!" The three pixies grab a specialized pixie-brand rope and twirl around the fox! 22 21 16
Wini: (( god DAMN they have high-ass athletics ))
Myxy: (( I don't think you can have more than a single Advantage on a check outside of the pseudo-super-advantage from Lucky ))
Myxy: (( They use only Athletics; MT can use Athletics or Acrobatics ))
Myxy: (( But that 22 was the first roll and that's gonna be tough to fight. ))
Beachy Keen: (( but the SRD says it's an attack action ))
Beachy Keen: (( or something ))
Myxy: (( it's an attack ACTION ))
Myxy: (( you do not use an attack roll for it ))
Myxy: (( size larger than you, and it must be within your reach. Using at least one free hand, you try to seize the target by making a grapple check, a Strength (Athletics) check contested by the target's Strength (Athletics) or Dexterity (Acrobatics) check (the target chooses the ability to use). If you succeed, you subject the target to the grappled condition (see appendix A). The condition specifies the things that end it, and you can release the target whenever you like (no action required). ))
Wini: (( as in it uses your "attack" action, like your move action, or your bonus action ))

Beachy Keen:
oh in that case

Beachy Keen:
15
Myxy: (( there's no move action here aggums ))
Myxy: (( roll another, she still has Advantage ))
Wini: (( whatever the equivalent of the move action is : | ))
Myxy: (( tho she probably won't get higher than that. ))
Wini: (( that was a recalculated roll ))
Beachy Keen: (( no i was using her highest roll up there ))
Myxy: (( moving isn't an action really, it's odd. You can just move. ))
Cilicia: (( So I'm rolling a 1d20+dex mod or what ))
Myxy: (( Anyway, roll Athl or Acro MT ))
Myxy: (( You have Proficiency in Acrobatics, right? ))
Myxy: (( If so, you roll d20+Dex mod+Prof bonus which is 2 in this case ))
Cilicia: (( I have both Athletics and Acro afaik ))

Cilicia:
13
Myxy: (( you COULD opt to roll Athletics and thus just a Strength check b/c you aren't prof--well then just roll with whichever one you have a higher stat for ))
Myxy: (( I keep forgetting your stats are borke af ))
Cilicia: (( Didn't matter either way because lel maptools ))
Myxy: (( Basically all it means is that you cfannot move. ))
Myxy: (( that's it ))

Myxy:
GRAPPLED A grappled creature's speed becomes O,and it can't benefit from any bonus to its speed. The condition ends if the grappler is incapacitated (see the condition), The condition also ends if an effect removes the grappled creature fram the reach of the grappler or grappling effect,such as when a creature is hurled away by the thunderwave spell
Myxy: (( Escaping a Grapple. A grappled creature can use its action to escape. To do so, it must succeed on a Strength (Athletics) or Dexterity (Acrobatics) check contested by your Strength (Athletics) check. Moving a Grappled Creature. When you move, you can drag or carry the grappled creature with you, but your speed is halved, unless the creature is two or more sizes smaller than you. ))
Wini: (( is pinning still a thing? ))

Beachy Keen:
Zwwooomzwoomzwoomzwoomzwoom! The fairies all encircle you and tie you dow- ok i did not intend for this to sound fetishy at all, so bear with me.
Myxy: (( no ))
Myxy: (( I'm still noit sure why our combats are so slow ))
Myxy: (( Though it MAY be due to the fact that only one of us read the book. ))
Wini: (( Right now, it's because we take 7 hours to explain everything ))
Beachy Keen: (( it's because nobody has any idea how to play yet and also I assume help is its own action and doesn't take up its own action yet right ))
Wini: (( Oh no, god no ))
Wini: (( that'd take up some kind of action for sure ))
Cilicia has received initiative.

Raspberry Death:
The pixies attempt to carry you off to the buzzard to make you kinda like an easy punching bag. "C'mon, it'll be hilarious!"

Cilicia:
"Get the hell off of me you little freaks!" 10

Beachy Keen:
Beachy dodges out of the way and pets ur ears.

Cilicia:
[1d20+2+4\

Cilicia:
8

Beachy Keen:
1

Beachy Keen:
Ohh noooo

Rolf:
"Ohhh...." Rolf shakes his head and chugs down a healing potion. "Did I go to training for this?" 9

Rolf:
Rolf is healed and gains 9 hit points.

Rolf:
"I need to get out of here!" Rolf screams as he tries to roll down that hill 8

Rolf:
...but fall son his head "Ow! My bad ear!"

Plip:
"That's it! Mortimer, I demand you do something about this!"

Mortimer:
*Annoyed*

Mortimer:
Mortimer carries Rolf away!

Rolf:
"NOT AGAAAAAIN!"

Grinn:
8 grinn flips away

Grinn:
gez not

Grinn:
Grinn hops on the flower turret and shoots Myxy!

Rainy Day:
23

Rainy Day:
4 piercing damage. The flower hits you with a barrage of seeds and sharp petals!

Radia:
Radia hops along and makes Cloudy fire pollen bombs!

Myxy:
Myxy flips around, glad Rainy only rolled a 1 on her Five Strike check, "You'll pay. Later."

Flower Bomb:
They actually just kinda hover over your head for a while, but next round they will attack with a vengeance...
Myxy has received initiative.

Wini:
add me yo

Wini:
21 init

Raspberry Death:
"Gaaaah! STAND STI- Oh hey! Is that the lady you were looking for?"

Wini:
"Helloo~! So this is what was going on, hm? Can't you all play nice?"

Beachy Keen:
"Now that I think about it, this battle seems a bit cliche...."

Beachy Keen:
"Did we just fall into the role of a stock Kobold battle?"

Carnivale:
"Wadda Kobold?"

Carnivale:
*Wassa

Raspberry Death:
"I think it's like, some kind of dragon."

Cilicia:
"I WILL TEAR YOU LITTLE SHITS TO PIECES."

Marmy:
"So....much...pain...."
Wini has received initiative.

Wini:
Wini runs towards Purp from behind, blanket outstretched.

Wini:
9 I'll just do a dex-based attack roll

Wini:
m

Plip:
"Is that a blankey?"
Myxy has received initiative.

Myxy:
Myxy keeps crackling with thunder as she pulls her bowstring, and fires an electrically charged missile at the birb!

Myxy:
23

Mortimer:
Oh noooo

Myxy:
30

Mortimer:
Mortimer loses 30 hit points.

Mortimer:
"SKAAAWWWRRRK!" Mortimer cries out as he's electrified horribly.

Wini:
"Keen eyes, small one! Would you mind not dodging about so much, I'm trying to restrain you!"

Myxy:
"I will be the cook."

Rolf:
"GAAAAH!" Rolf is pinned down by the sudden dinner plate materialized out of nowhere.

iYAMAU:
"Yeeheeheehee!"

Beachy Keen:
"Nooooo! Mortimer! That bird was just like a bird to me!"

Beachy Keen:
Beachy just tosses Cilicia over like a few squares and maybe that'll do damage.

Beachy Keen:
Oh fine

Beachy Keen:
All three pixies just sorta go up to a tree and tie you upside down.
Cilicia has received initiative.

Raspberry Death:
"Next time,we'll beat the snot out of you!"

Cilicia:
23

Yorick:
"PHEW! IT WAS EXHAUSING, BEING TIED UP LIKE THAT. I COULDN'T BREATHE! WAIT, I NEVER COULD!"

Cilicia:
Cilicia breaks out of the magical rope almost immediately, "Grrr...!"

Rolf:
18 Rolf tries to climb out form under the dinner plate...

Rolf:
"Y-Yatta! I finally did it! Now uh...I guess I should have casted this beforehand, huh?" Rolf use shield of faith on Myxy.

Rainy Day:
FIIIIIIREEEE!!!! 23

Rainy Day:
@MYXY

Rainy Day:
6

Myxy:
Myxy loses 6 hit points.

Flower Bomb:
12 oh noooo! the flower bomb asplodes!

Flower Bomb 1:
20

Flower Bomb 1:
omg

Flower Bomb 1:
9

Rolf:
Rolf loses 9 hit points.

Rolf:
"GAAAAH!" Rolf tumbles back from the giant ball of death exploding in his face.
Wini has received initiative.

Myxy:
Myxy loses 9 hit points.
Tokens dropped onto map 'Map' by player MarthTrinity (Player)

Cheryl:
You don't know shit about magic pixels, yo.z

Rolf:
"I-I can fix that....kinda..." Rolf uses cure wounds on Myxy. 7 "I-I'll heal myself later..."

Myxy:
Myxy is healed and gains 7 hit points.

Myxy:
"Appreciated."
Tokens dropped onto map 'Map' by player MarthTrinity (Player)
Tokens dropped onto map 'Map' by player MarthTrinity (Player)
Tokens dropped onto map 'Map' by player MarthTrinity (Player)

Plip:
"That blanket is cool and all, but it's warm enough out here. Well, when its not too cold. Crazy weather we've been having lately." And while blabbing on Purp just uses color spray on Wini

Plip:
42

Plip:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDfOz_oKnF4

Wini:
"Ooh, you cheeky little... Slither!" Wini swings her staff around, as it turns into a snake in her hand. "Seek her out!" 6 8 he won't

Wini:
he didn't

Wini:
I'll back up a tad to be further away from the cliffside

Plip:
"Sticks to snakes :^|"
Myxy has received initiative.
Tokens dropped onto map 'Map' by player MarthTrinity (Player)
Tokens dropped onto map 'Map' by player MarthTrinity (Player)
Tokens dropped onto map 'Map' by player MarthTrinity (Player)

Myxy:
6 Ice Knife @ Beachy
Tokens dropped onto map 'Map' by player MarthTrinity (Player)

Myxy:
Myxy throws a shard of ice at Beachy! Which misses, but explodes anyway!
Tokens dropped onto map 'Map' by player MarthTrinity (Player)

Wini:
*kicks dust in your eyes*

Wini:
*or rather, your eye*

Myxy:
Everyone within 5 feet of that area

Myxy:
7 Or take that much

Cilicia:
22

Myxy:
11

Beachy Keen:
20 I'll just roll for everyone of mine

Carnivale:
19

Raspberry Death:
12

Raspberry Death:
fak u

Cilicia:
"Well that was...something..."

Raspberry Death:
"Hey what's tha- OOOOWWWW, so cold!"

Raspberry Death:
Raspberry Death loses 7 hit points.

Raspberry Death:
Raspberry falls to the ground

Myxy:
"One down."

Beachy Keen:
"Gaaaah! How dare you!" Beachy just decided to shoot Myxy with a generic touhou bullet for that attack 7

Beachy Keen:
nvm

Carnivale:
While Carnivale didn't get the memo and just decides to beat on Cilicilicicla 6

Carnivale:
and then punches herself in the face

Carnivale:
6

Carnivale:
Carnivale loses 6 hit points.
Cilicia has received initiative.

Cilicia:
20

Cilicia:
17

Carnivale:
Carnivale loses 17 hit points.

Carnivale:
"Guuuh, I need to learn to- GUUUKH" Before she could accept her mistake, Carnivale the fairy instead becomes Carni as she's half the pixie she used to be thanks to that brutal 420 MLG kill

Myxy:
"Hm. Don't complain if you die."

Beachy Keen:
"Carnivale? Carnivale? CARNIVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLEEEEE!!!"

Myxy:
"Surrender. I won't kill you. She will."

Yorick:
"LIKE SERIOUSLY, YOU GUYS FOUGHT THIS CRAZY BITCH? THIS IS MILD COMPARED TO WHAT I GOT."

Rolf:
"Uuuuuuh...." Rolf just chugs another potion 8

Rolf:
Rolf is healed and gains 8 hit points.

Plip:
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!! Run awaaaaaaayyyyyy!!!!!" The pixies just try to escape from here.

Cilicia:
"I told you I don't have time for this shit, dammit."

Myxy:
"You killed a reporte.r."

Myxy:
"If the church lets us back in it will be as prisoners."
Cilicia: (( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qnOwUccAO5Q ))

Beachy Keen:
"Carniiivaaaaaaallle!!! I couldn't save you!!!!!! Why must even the feywild not be spared from the cruel evils of the real world!?!?!" Beachy Keen tries to drag Raspberry in tears, realizing the pointlessness of trying to retrieve Carnivales body.
Wini has received initiative.

Wini:
Wini sloshes the color out of her eyes. "What? What happened?"

Wini:
"She didn't actually - ohhh no."

Wini:
"Cilicia!" Wini shouts down from the cliff face, motioning for Plip to get out, outta here

Myxy:
"She killed her as a sacrifice to you. I think."

Myxy:
"You were already here so I'm not sure what other reason she would have."

Beachy Keen:
that is, in fact, 300 divided by 3 XP

Beachy Keen:
fuck that

Beachy Keen:
milestones bruh

Sunny Day:
"Oh my GOD! What did you just DO!?"

Sunny Day:
"Do you really think in this world it's kill or be killed or something?"

Myxy:
"No."

Myxy:
"She's just insane."

Cloudy Day:
"Well, I guess you can pass now....but you can expect this act to be reported to the proper authorities."

Rainy Day:
"You've made an enemy of the pixies this day...we'll need to keep an eye out for you guys now."

Cilicia:
"I'm sure you'll conveniently leave out the fact that you started this whole ordeal?" she growls in reply, "Or how you attacked us for zero reason?"

Wini:
"I don't want to HEAR who started it, you escalated it!"

Rainy Day:
IT WAS JUST A PRANK BRO

Rolf:
"This turkey is delicious though, I'll give you that! Uh...but I'm not with them, I'm just a...traveller."

Rainy Day:
"WHY ARE YOU EATING THE BIRD NOW, YOU'RE BEING REPORTED TOO"
Cilicia: (( Estee ))

Myxy:
"Let us head back. The church will decide your punishment."

Rolf:
"God DAMMIT....this turkey too good to quit tho."

Myxy:
"If any. They may not care."

Myxy:
"That would prove what I had expected..."

Rolf:
"It's uh....no big deal I guess. It's Dayeworn, these kinds of situations are to be expected. She simply acted in self defense, so....it should be an easy pass."

Myxy:
"Excessive force."

Cilicia:
"Not my fault if pixies are made of tissue paper."

Myxy:
"It is your fault you are made of anger."

Myxy:
"Now, whore. Come with us."

Rolf:
"So this is uh....wait, weren't we looking for Gwynevere? Who is this distraction supposed to be???"

Myxy:
"Gwynevere."

Wini:
"Language, Myxy."

Rolf:
"That looks nothing like Gwynevere, come on."

Myxy:
"Your daughter is a thousnd times worse."

Myxy:
"That is why we said she was in disguise."

Wini:
"She takes after her father."

Rolf:
Rolf looks at you like http://40.media.tumblr.com/0e18570f946f18646b9130ae5649915f/tumblr_n905gajMXe1qck9sro1_1280.jpg

Myxy:
"She just admitted our fox was her daughter, yes?"

Myxy:
"The team pet, useful."

Myxy:
"And vicious."

Wini:
Wini rolls her eyes. "Yes, yes, explanations - or perhaps impressions would be better?" Wini drops her voice an octave or so and adds a bit of scratchiness to it. "Ohh, good EVENING, Rolf! Did you enjoy the festival today?"

Myxy:
"Don't hit on him."

Myxy:
"Be serious."

Rolf:
"I don't know about this, are you sure this isn't like, some accomplice of you- Well good LORD! You are Lady Gwynevere! Why in the great Feywilds did you decide to get plastic surgery like this!?"

Wini:
"Really, Rolf? They couldn't be bothered to send anyone else? His healing magic is alright, but... Rolf? I'm almost offended."

Rolf:
"Well gee, THANKS."

Myxy:
"Punishment, I think. Perhaps suicide mission."

Rolf:
"THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANKS"

Myxy:
"Blame the church.:

Rolf:
"Let's just go home, somehow getting crushed by a dinner plate was the least painful thing to happen to me all day...."

Wini:
"One moment, there's a loose end to tie up." Wini strides after Beachy and Raspberry's body

Myxy:
Myxy follows after Wini, "You're coming with us. What are you doing?"

Beachy Keen:
Beachy slowly turns her head around while weakly carrying Raspberry's body, and picks up the pace

Cilicia:
"Hrmph...maybe someone at the church can do something about this..." She carefully puts the halves of the pixie into he-...Myxy's sleeping bag.

Wini:
"Stop. I don't intend to hurt you, I just need that pesky echo flower!"

Myxy:
"GOSSAMER WEBBING!"

Beachy Keen:
Beachy slowly turns around again, but this time stopping in her tracks. Her head slooooowwwly creaks around and gives a "is this bitch srs" look

Beachy Keen:
"Your kind just KILLED my BEST FRIEND and you really expect me to give you reward for this? REALLY? REALLY?"

Wini:
"Take that up with my daughter."

Beachy Keen:
"Honestly, I'd rather you just attack me and mug it from me instead, that'd be several times less obnoxious."

Myxy:
Myxy spreads her arms and summons a giant web around everybody except her, she learned that lesson from a fishy past life.

Beachy Keen:
"Whatever. Here's your stupid echo flower. I can always just buy a new one for Raspberry anyway. TOO BAD I CANT BUY A NEW CARNIVALE, HUH."

Beachy Keen:
*An audible look of shame beams from Beachy's face as she hands you over the glowy flower.*

Wini:
"Thaaank you!" Suddenly web is everywhere.

Rolf:
"Why do you do these things"

Myxy:
"She will destroy the flower. I cannot have that."

Myxy:
"If she does I die.

Myxy:
"I do not want to die yet."

Rolf:
"Hmm....a fair enough motivation if I do say so myself."

Myxy:
"Question the fox and the slut. I have good reasons."

Myxy:
"Give me the flower."

Wini:
"Now, hold on - aren't you curious to hear what it says?"

Myxy:
"Yes. I will. Once I have it.

Myxy:
"

Wini:
"You can't even hold your own weaponry without it backfiring on you."

Myxy:
"Do you want to test that theory?"

iYAMAU:
"That's a challenge if I ever heard one!"

Wini:
"I already did. One test is enouoh."

Wini:
g

Rolf:
"Guuuuys, no fighting!"

Wini:
*activates the flower somehow* "We may as well listen to it if we're just going to stand here arguing."

Wini:
"I'm curious what other sort of dirt she managed to collect."

Sunny Day:
The flower is kinda hard to operate if you're not well versed in Pixie technology, u gotta roll for that.

Wini:
Using Guidance on myself

Wini:
12

Sunny Day:
you haphazardly skip through the flower's recordings and you just get some random conversation between two random guard-sounding fellows, from their slurred speech they sound like some kind of Feydark residents.

Myxy:
"What in carnation..."

Wini:
fuk u

Wini:
"Oh, come on now, that can't be all of it... I'll fiddle with you later. Would you mind getting rid of this webbing, Myxy? I think I smell skunk."

Myxy:
"I would. What do you intend to do with the flower?"

Wini:
"Crack into it, mostly. The imp was a reporter looking for a scoop, wasn't she? Surely we weren't the only conversation she overheard that night."

Myxy:
"We need it. To prove you aren't you. And that you are."

Myxy:
"Or we, likely, die."

Wini:
"Oh, stop that. Who in the church is threatening to kill you?"

Cilicia:
"Perhaps the ENTIRE COURTROOM OF PEOPLE?"

Cilicia:
"I'm sorry, the entire private quarters of people."

Myxy:
"I shot Leos in the eye. He is fine."

Wini:
"They stay in there most of the time. I've learned to stop questioning Leos about it."

Myxy:
"Thusly, I do not think I can defeat him."

Wini:
"He has a different understanding of privacy."

Rolf:
Rolf just kinda....dawdles off "Guys, it's getting late and I have a bad feeling about staying out here..."

Myxy:
"Let us return, then. And pray."

Myxy:
"To whomever will answer."

Myxy:
the collect calling charges are insane tho

Wini:
"He may be right. Here, take some of these." GOODBERRY GO. "None for you, Cilicia, you need to maintain that figure of yours."

Myxy:
"I'm sure." Myxy takes uh, five of em I guess.

Myxy:
Myxy is healed and gains 5 hit points.
tirkaroKujo:
And so you return then....and pray....
tirkaroKujo:
for a moment, but while you walk, you come across a giant fucking bird
tirkaroKujo:
but the good thing is that this bird seems to be distracted by 3 people who seem to be chasing after it

Myxy:
Myxy loses 1 hit points.

Myxy:
Myxy loses 2 hit points.

Myxy:
Myxy is healed and gains 4 hit points.
tirkaroKujo:
the bad thing is that you kinda have to travel past the 3 dudes and the bird because the map is suddenly 2D

Xinzuoying:
"AAAAAAAHHHH! What the God- why did this have to happen to us of all people! We're running out of time!"

Runnil:
"IT APPEARS TO BE ADAMANT ON ITS CURRENT POSITION NOW. I BELIEVE YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO KNOCK IT DOWN FROM THIS ANGLE." and they continue to quabble over this bird drama for reasons beyodn your knowledge

Roc:
SWAK! SWAK! I WAS DRAWN IN ROUGHLY 3 MINUTES! SQUAK!

Myxy:
"State your aims, travelers."

Xinzuoying:
The transparently jiang-shi looking guy somehow finds some way to eat an apple while panicking

Lester:
"!!!!! AAAAAH! Woah, how long have YOU guys been here!? Wait, nevermind, you look strong enough. Mind helping us out here?"

Lester:
"We um....well, this is kind of embarrassing, but all of a sudden this bird that was tagging along us just kinda....panicked. I dunno why!"

Rolf:
"....I don't like these guys. Can we just go home from here?"

Cilicia:
"Not at all. Go ahead and show them how it's done, Rolf."

Myxy:
"Oh. Maybe it heard it."

Wini:
Wini discreetly casts Speak with Animals to see if she can get a glimpse as to why.

Runnil:
"GREETINGS. THIS BIRD IS PRETTY GOOD PROPERTY FROM OUR COMMISSIONERS, AND WE WOULD BE VERY MUCH IN YOUR DEBT IF WE COULD GET IT BACK."
Tokens dropped onto map 'Map' by player MarthTrinity (Player)

Roc:
"I ONLY SPEAK IN TONGUES OF DEATH"

Roc:
"I feel a great disturbance....these all....they are beings of pure evil! Could they work for..."

Wini:
Assumedly

Wini:
the Roc is talking about us.

Rolf:
"Y-you know what, maybe I will. C'mon, it's just a short walk from here."

Rolf:
"So, I guess I'll just slip on by here...."

Wini:
*bird noises* "The three below you? Or others?"

Roc:
"I will dispose of them myself!"

Roc:
The roc grabs Rolf in one Talon.

Rolf:
"GOD DAMMIT"

Rolf:
"I DONT KNOW"

Myxy:
"I suppose... Chicks really know how to pick up Rolf."

Roc:
and...1

Roc:
Grabs Myxy in the other

Roc:
JOKES ARE NOTHING BUT PURE EVIL

Cilicia:
"I don't think he found that very funny..."

Wini:
*bird noises* "Myxy, the evil one? Really! Now, that's surprising."

Roc:
You can

Roc:
't be not-grabbed by a roc, it's just not possible

Myxy:
"noooo"

Rolf:
"HEEEEAAAAALLLPPP"

Myxy:
http://imgur.com/oGCeedO

Lester:
"Gaaaah! Our Roc is escaping!!!! After him!"

Roc:
swkark

Myxy:
"GO AFTER H--HMMM..."