she's hurting because she's not sure what her heart is telling her
she doesn't want anyone to be "hurt" by being let down
i.e., she doesn't wanna date Ian because you'd be hurt
she can't tolerate hurting people
she thinks that her decisons will hurt her
she cares about you a TON
I mean a TONNNNNNNNNN
but she loved Ian
and she loved TJ
TJ can't stick around and she feels like she'd be put on a shelf for when he has time if they got back together
She doesn't trust Ian but she feels really bad and when she went to confront him recently they both cried and she said she had never seen Ian so broken
despite all the cuntish shit Ian has done she loves him
but she loves TJ because that was her longest relationship and she feels safe with him
since you're new to the party she doesn't wanna get you involved in the whole huge mental mess
so it's not that she WON
WON'T*
date you
it's that she can't right now until she can come to terms with herself, her actions, and her feelings