Thread 109: Stories 77-88

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>SA
"Sombra"
~~

"Well, on the positive side, at least this probably cut down on the number of mares who want in your harem."

>...

"What?"

>I've gotten six hundred requests since this morning.

"Wha... what?"

>Yeah, apparently they think being in the non-existent harem also lands you a super huge job in the castle. Most of them are offering to intern.

"How do you... how does one..."

>...

"...Not a whole lot of upswing in this for you, is there?"

>Nope.

"Huh... well, at least you didn't enslave anyone."

>...

"Because I-"

>I know, and thank you for setting the bar so low.

"See? I am useful for something!"

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

OOCO
>AJ
"Chitania"
~~~~

>What... W-what...

"Occupied, asshole."

>Why...

"Because all the other ones are full!"

>... In mah shower!?

"Your shower?"

>Yes! MY shower!

"This isn't a public shower?"

>NO! The fuck gave you that idea!?

"But... Ponies go in and out of this all the time. Just, all the time. So often. I barely ever see you even come near this place."

>...

"Are you screwing with me?"

>OUT!

"If I find out this is discrimination, I'm suing."

>OUT AH' SAID!

"Fine, fuck..."

>Without Mah towel, thank you!

"It says Celestia on it."

>Ah know what Ah said.

"... I think I finally understand you."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>AJ
"Big Mac"
~~~

>Oh thank goodness! Big Mac, Ah' need ya' ta' help me out! Ah' need ya' ta' convince everyone ta' stop panicking!

"Eyyyyup."

>Phew, knew Ah' could count on-

"Assumin' ya' are the real Applejack, at least."

>...

"Tell me somethin' only the real Applejack would know!"

>Yer' a gaddang thickheaded ninny.

"Ah hah! Mah' real sister ain't that hurtful!"

>...

"...She ain't!"

>...

"...It's really you, ain't it?"

>Yep.

"Ya' gonna at least give me some proof?"

>Ya' once took a pumpkin inta' the bathroom and-

"ENNNOPE!"

>Good enough for you?

"E-eyup."

>...

"...We promised not ta' talk about that no more-"

>MAC!

"Ah'm goin' Ah'm goin!"

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >Spitfire
"SA"
~~~

>Fair warning, I might punch somebody.

"Don't punch somebody."

>I punched the last uppity magic user that tried this shit, and I might just do it again.

"Spitfire, no, bad."

>...They're totally going to ask for me to resign.

"They're not gonna ask you to resign."

>Literally every choice that you guys made is now being scrutinized. What do you think is going to happen when 'hired his old army buddy for top airforce position' comes up?

"Nothing, because literally nobody else wanted the job. What are they going to say? Oh, you hired somebody who wanted the job and you knew, not nobody at all? You tyrant."

>I'm serious!

"What part of what I just said didn't sound serious?"

>... If I get fired, I'm punching her.

"Deal."

>Really?

"I'll even give you an alibi."

>...thanks.

"Hey, what can I say... I spoil my friends apparently."

>...fireboom right up her prissy white-

"Don't ruin the moment."

>Sorry.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

NC
>Twilight
"Applejack"
'Pinkie'
~~~

>WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WE'RE OFF THE TEAM!?

"THIS IS PONY SHIT!"

'Sorrrrry! We need a red ranger and a black ranger, and you just don't fit! The color scheme is all wrong! Blue, Pink, Yellow, and White, those all fit, but you two? Nope!'

>I'M THE MAIN CHARACTER OF THE SHOW!

"And' Ah'm... mostly the main character of this thread!"

'Sorry, but come on. Who's ever heard of a purple or orange ranger?'

>They exist-

SLAP!

>...

'We don't talk about what existed after 'in space' around here.'

>...

"...Ah' liked wild force-"

BAM!

'HERETIC!'

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >Celestia
"Luna"
~~~

>Oh dear...

It was chaos below, to put it simply. Not a full blow riot in the streets, of course. Nothing quite so dramatic and grand. Though, a part of her wished it was. That would be easy to deal with, if they were breaking things or destroying things or the like. That would make this easier, and she would understand it.

No, nothing so fiery as that. It was more... they had fears, and they wanted answers. Many, many answers.

"We knew this would come back to haunt her."

>You've never made a mention of it before now.

"We did not want you to feel bad."

A commendable effort, Celestia would give her credit, for at least attempting a joke. But Pinkie Pie, she was not.

"We don't know what to tell them."

>The truth would be most prudent, wouldn't it?

"If thou wishes a full scale riot when they learn we knew the whole time and thou sometimes even participated in using her skills. Up to and including trying to abduct her once."

Well, so much for the humor, the princess thought to herself.

Either that or Luna was even worse at this than she thought.

>Is your student going to be alright?

"Doubtful. He works for the Mayor, much in the same position that the other changeling did for our adopted niece. I expect him to be limping home to his Queen any minute now."

>Quite dark.

"We are being honest. Does thou see the issue with that?"

>...You have me there, I suppose.

Many, many, many questions needed answers.

And, she supposed... they deserved that much.

>Fair warning, if we get deposed, I don't think mother will be alright with us moving back in with her.

"Hrmph, we will merely go start over with our own new country in the badlands, how hard can it be?"

>I hope that 'we' didn't mean you and me, the dust is terrible for my coat.

"Of course it does. We said we'd do this together, did we not? We're sticking together forever more after this."

>...indeed. So, would you like to go first?

"Ha ha!"

>...Sticking together indeed.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>AJ
"Changelings"
'Guards'
~~~

>Bout what Ah' was expectin' at this point.

Applejack was going to have to start handing out medals at this point, because five guards holding back a mob of shouting ponies from the bunched up lings was nothing short of heroic.

'Alright, nothing to see here, go back to-OW!... Okay! Who shoved me in the eye!? They're about to get rocked something fierce!'

'Not helping!'

"Is there something that will help?"

"Lasers?"

'Do not use lasers!'

"What are these ponies going to do? We can take them."

'NOT! HELPING!'

'Also, didn't you guys all get your asses kicked by six mares? One of whom didn't even fight you?'

"He's not wrong."

"Shut the fuck up Gambling!"

"Dunno what you're on about, I was in the hallway waiting to ambush them. We were just waiting for them to beat the losers-OW!"

'You deserved that one.'

'Can you ponies please calm down!? The princess did not bring down an invasion party, okay!? It's just to show you they're not so bad!... Yes I know that this is exactly what you would want someone to think if you were invading, I get that, but....hrm-'

'Quicksilver I swear to Faust!'

'I wasn't gonna say it!... Maybe think it....'

'OH COME ON!'

"Yeah! I don't want to invade you, I just want to rule the world with gambling!"

'...'

"...o-of gambling. Rule the world OF gambling."

This is about what she expected, this is about what she thought was going to be.

>Maybe we should just hightail it back ta' the portal.

'That plan sounds goo- what the fuck is that!?'

The air around them swirled as a massive airship shot past, heading in a bee line straight for Canterlot. It did not look to be a ship for battle, but all the same...

Few guards, scared lings, a mob, and now even her exit blocked by an unknown. With this, all of this, at last it hit her.

They were all waiting, all of them, for her to say what to do.

Only...

>...Ah' have no idea how ta' fix this...

And as the situation grew worse... The answers would not come.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >Pennydrop
"Security"
~~~

Oh the chaos, oh the panic, oh the fear, oh the suspicion.

It was like the finest of wine to her.

"Ma'am? Should we really set down over there?"

She breathed in deeply, loving the sounds of the millions of conversations below. Savoring it, so much chaos. Never, in her wildest dreams, did she imagine that she herself could create a situation so amazing as this one. It was as ripe as a fresh, juicy apple, ready to be plucked and devoured.

Not that she cared much for apples at all, she found them rather bland, but no matter.

>Yes, officer... we are setting down, right there, right in the thick of it.

"Ma'am?"

>We're setting down, and we're going to drink up every drop of this. The dam of honey has burst open, solider, and someone is going to get their fill. If it is not us, it will be someone else. The only thing that could stop us now... is fear.

She looked to him, not a hint of argument allowed in her gaze.

>If you are afraid, then jump out now. Me?... I'm diving right in.

"...Yes ma'am!"

He saluted, and signaled to them. Without another thought to them, she turned back to the crowds, the masses that looked like ants, the many down below crying out to anyone.

>Look to the skies for help no longer, Canterlot...

Why not her?

>She's here.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

OMAKEEEE!
>Pinkie
"Maud"
'Limestone'
[Marble]
~~
>Wow, I am going to have to throw a hell of a party to fix this one.

"Sister, we have a request."

>Kinda a bad time, Maud!

'TOO BAD!'

>...Limestone?

[It's just a small one.]

>Whoa, wait, what?

'We want to be in your new movies!'

>Um... that's kind of a conflict of interest.

'So? Entertainment industry is a messed up cesspool of nepotism and inside deals.'

>Who told you about that!? That was supposed to be a secret!

[Please?]

>I don't know...

'Look, if it's a concern, I have absolutely no problems taking it in the backdoor.'

>Well that's good, you always want to- WHOA WAIT WHAT NOW!?

'I'm serious!'

[I'd rather not...]

>What the partypoppers are you talking about!?

'Your business? Party Pony Productions?'

>Yeah!?

'Well, we want in on that.'

>What does that have to do with... those things you said!?

'Do... do you not even know what kind of films you make?'

>W-what?

'Let's see here... Ah! Here you go.'

>B-b-b-booty boppes six!? SIX!? There's six of them!?

"Ten, actually."

>WHAT THE HECK!?

'That's your logo, isn't it?'

>YES!

'...Soooo-'

>NO!

'Come on, be a sister!'

>Daddy would murder everything! EVERYTHING!

'...I miiiight be trying to tick him off.'

[...saysIcan'tcomeoverheredon'tcareifwe'refreakingdistantcousinsthat'snothowthatworks.]

>Maud, what did he do to tick you off!?

"Nothing, I want a show where I talk about rocks... It would be very riveting."

>Okay, I need to go have a discussion with my producer!

'About hiring us-'

>NO! NO NO NO NOOOOO!... PARTYCANNON AWAY!

'Well, that's bullshit! What good was it having a sister in the industry now?!'

[...i didn't really want to do it.]

"Now the world will never know of my rocks."

['...']

"It would've been exciting."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

OMAKE!
>DT
"SS"
'???'
~~~~

>Yep! This mechsuit is pretty much perfect... well, I mean, aside from this one thing.

"What's that?'

>It's pretty annoying, but usually whenever I take it out I-

'RULES OF NAAATTTUUUUURRRRRRRREEEE!'

"...Is that Flash Sentry?"

>OH DAMN IT! GO AWAY! SHOOO! SHOOOO!

"Why does he have a sword."

>Stop trying to cut me in half!

'ALIVE! WITH THEIR LIVES ON THE LINE!'

>I'm telling my daddy on you!

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

NC

>AJ
"???"

>Don't let me be sidelined... don't let me be sidelined... please give me development.. please give me screentime... jess' give me something please please please please-

"HEY GUYS! WE JUST FOUND A WAY TO SORT THIS ISSUE OUT! OKAY HERE WE GOOOOOOOOO!-"

>Wait-WAIT-

DRAMA

ACTION

COMEDY

TRAGEDY

RESOLUTION

"Man, I'm glod us specific batch of side characters and OC's got something out of that, good going everypony!"

>...I'm going to just go into a corner... Is that ok?

...

>Alright then....

...

>[sniffle]

>Ah'm just gonna-HOLY SHIT! Chrysalis? Is that you!?

"It burrrnnnnssss!"

>Why are you on fire!?

"I don't know! I didn't even do anything in this one! I WASN'T EVEN THERE WHY AM I SO BADLY BURNED GET ME TO A HOSPITAL!"

>...Nope, Ah'm still worse off then you.

"FUCK YOU THIS STINGS!"

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

OMAKE!
>SA
"Filthy"
'???'
~~~

>T-there, all happy? Look, your daughter not only got screentime, but a new mechsuit! Whole new world of action scenes just opened up for her!

"Marvelous! Simply marvelous! You certainly lived up to your reputation! Good thing too, I was about to shoot you in the balls!"

>...

"Well, that was an... event. I'd best go get cleaned up and be on my way. Did you have a good time?"

>No. I spent the entire time terrified I was going to get castrated via rocket launcher. None of this was fun to me.

"Oh, what a pity... good day!"

SLAM!

>...

Wordlessly, he broke the neck restraint that had been holding him painfully to the wall the whole time, fell to legs that had been deprived of blood so long it was near impossible to feel them anymore and thus could not support himself, and then painfully scraped along the floor until he reached his bathroom.

Two hours of crying in the shower later, he shuffled out.

>I... I just want to have a good time...

'Oh, Shiny, why didn't you say so?'

Did he hear that right, he thought?
Did he dare believe it, he wondered?
Could it be, he prayed?

>YES! There it is!

His wife!
His beautiful wife!
On the bed!
Giving him THE LOOK!

THE!
LOOK!

'Why don't you come over here and-OOF!'

He wasted no time, he had no delay, he leapt to her without pause.

'Oh my! Shiny! You-'

>No talking! We're getting to this... NOW!

'A-AH!'

>YES! YEEEE-....

'W-why'd you stop!?'

>...

'...Shiny?'

>...You're not Cadence.

'Er... never said I was?'

>...

'...Oh, fine.'

Her head, and only her head, shifted.
Of all the possible answers it could have been, he did not expect a mane of red and yellow to be in his vision.


'Look, I tried this shit with Spitfire, it didn't do jack! That's right, I took it in all the holes with Spitfire after your romp, but your mojo apparently needs to come directly from the source. So, get to it.'

>...

'Well!? It's not like we aren't started... by the way? Props, Cadence is a lucky mare.'

>...

'HELLO!?'

>...You know what? Just promise me that, even if you don't get screentime, you won't react badly, you won't freak out, and you won't come back to me with vengeance, and you know what? I'll keep going.

'What!? Of course I'm not going to do that!'

>...Okay. One more request?

'Shoot.'

>Change back... I want to pretend.

'Oh, fine...'

FWOOSH!

>Thank you. And, in thanks... HRK!

'W-WOO! NOW WE'RE TALKING!... Wait, why can I feel this?'

>Because you're running off love, I'm a love battery, and being given love feels really, really, really good.

'Huh... point. Noting that one down for future reference. SooooOOHHHHH YES BABY THAT'S WHAT MOMMA LIKES!'

>Just pretend, Shining... just pretend.

'YOU ARE SO MUCH BETTER THAN FLASH!'

>...Just let the dreams die, and smother them while they are still warm...

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
OMAKE
>AJ
"SA"
~~
SLAM

"Hello, Chry-"

>Ah'm not the bug bitch

"H-hi applejack"

>We're in Omake

"I think I'm aware of that now"

>Ah need character development

"I CAN JUST TALK WITH THEM PLEASE DON'T DO THIS TO ME AGAIN"

>Ah'm doin' it again, this is stress relief

"SOMEONE HELP"

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________