Chapter 33

Your eyes cracked open slowly. The room was silent. Keeping perfectly still, you waited

Slowly, the dull rasp that had roused you began again.

Though you hadn’t been at Valisias for more than a week, mamono night raids had already become a constant annoyance. Not even a threat, just meddlesome attempts to snag you in your sleep.

What were they up to this time?

It was hard to tell where the sound was originating. With your head on the pillow, the noise seemed to be coming from all around you.

Clunk.

Sounds like they whiffed with a tool. A chorus of hisses and hushed expletives rose from the window.

Ahh. Well, at least they were original. It also meant you wouldn’t have to reapply the door seal.

The monsters sat in silence as they waited for some sign that you were still asleep. You COULD just shoo them away, but that would just encourage them to try again later. Best just to deal with this now. Many monsters had tried to infiltrate your bed, but as far as you could tell, there weren’t any repeat offenders.

The rasping began again and you tried to guess what they were up to. Working with a tool, at the window, no shattered glass… Probably trying to cut their way through the metal grating outside the actual panes. The rhythm of sawing hastened, and a small yip of elation signaled that you were about to find out.

Something clattered up against the glass of your window.

An ear-splitting noise shook away your last vestige of fatigue. They were using a glass-cutter. An argument broke out between the hushed voices behind your curtain.

“What are you doing?!”

“I’m using this thing, what do you want from me?!”

“It’s supposed to be QUIET.”

“Both of you shut up he’s going to hear us!”

“He probably has, give me that thing!”

The cry of the glass-cutter resumed. This time the monster using it made no attempt at stealth. Your cue to end this.

You shuffled out of bed, covering your ears to dampen the din. A circle of glass popped loose from the window and shattered at your feet. Yanking back the curtains, you found yourself face to face with a dark elf.

Planning was clearly not the forte of ANY of the monsters here. The hole they had cut through the bars and glass was only big enough for the dark elf’s head and one of her arms to fit through. Unless she was a contortionist (which was possible given that she was a dark elf) she wasn't coming in. And it would be impossible for the succubus behind her; not with those hips.

“Is he up?”

Looking past the other two, you could see a griffin holding the ladder. How the hell was she supposed to get in?! Poor girl…

Seeing your face in the window, the griffon gave a small squawk of panic and flew away.

The dark elf shook off her surprise. Using her arm that had made it through the window, she desperately tired to stab you. You took a step back to avoid the knife.

“Shit! Hand me my whip!”

The succubus detached the whip from her friend’s belt, and stuffed the coil of leather through the slot. Dropping the knife, the dark elf tried to use the whip's superior range to take you down. To your amusement, the whip was actually MORE useless than the knife. The elf’s body was too twisted to get a proper range of motion, and the wall prevented the whip from being thrown back. All she could do was send waves through the weapon as it flopped on your floor. Panting, the elf gave you a pleading smile.

“H-hi, Anon.”

“Mmm.” You grunted.

“This, uh… I know it looks bad, but it isn’t what it looks like!” said the dark elf. She dropped the whip and put her hands up disarmingly. One outside, and one inside.

“Mmm.”

“We weren’t going to hurt you, honest!” said the succubus.

“No! Never! We just wanted to… get to know you better! Since you must be lonely here!” said the dark elf.

“Exactly! If you’re still single after all this time, you must be dying for some company!” Said the succubus.

“And you planned to do that by carving through my window in the middle of the night.” You said.

The elf gulped. “Ah, you know, we had to make ourselves stand out! I’ve seen how many women come up to you during the day, so we thought ‘he’ll remember us if we make an impression’ you know?”

“Speaking of ‘we’, what happened to {Curly}?” you asked.

“Who? Oh! The griffon? Her name isn’t {Cuhly}, its Nef. I think. We called her Nef.” Said the dark elf.

“She probably just went to the bathroom.” offered the succubus.

You yawned. It was too early for this. Or late. Who knows what time it was?

“Well, I can see you’re tired so we’ll just excuse oursel- HAHH!”

The dark elf interrupted her apology to flick a bolt of magic at you. Too bad, bitch. She wasn’t the first to try the ol’ “sucker punch a guy with a charm spell” trick. She let out a despondent mewl as the magic washed harmlessly over your body.

Scrambling, the elf tried to shimmy her way back through the hole. The succubus tried to fly away, but you caught her leg in a magical vice. Stuffing the elf through the hole, you held both of them in the air.

“Please don’t drop me! I was just horny! It’s not my fault; I was born this way!” sobbed the succ.

“Fucking human! I’ll fucking drain every last wisp of mana from you! You think you’re hot shit?! You’re a male! The only thing you should be doing at this Academy is polishing my boots with your mongrel tongue!”

The dark elf gnashed her teeth and tried to fire off more spells. You lowered her a bit before letting her drop the remaining seven feet into the dirt.

“I’LL CRUSH YOUR HEAD BETWEEN MY THIGHS, ANON! JUST YOU WAIT!”

Limping as fast as she could, the dark elf retreated to her own dorm room.

You flipped the succubus right side up and brought her a bit closer to the window.

“Please don’t hurt me…” she whimpered.

“I’m not. I actually need your help with something.” You said.

“Help…?”

~~~~~~~

“So you’re saying that if we all help you keep your dick from being ground to a stump, you’ll hook us up with some of the guys?”

You were sandwiched between two massive succs, with a few more on either side and across from you. These were the ones that Decara (whose name you learned after interrogating her) had deemed trustworthy and disciplined enough to listen to your scheme without trying to molest you.

“Right. Nothing serious, I can handle most of these monsters myself. But if my magic stops working or someone figures out a way to ambush me when I’m vulnerable, I’m going to need some assistance.” You said.

Some of the succs looked at the other members of their group. Most looked skeptical of your proposal.

“And what’s to stop us from just taking you for ourselves?” asked a mage.

“I’ll die, for starters. And I’d toss at least half of you through a wall.” You said.

“Would you REALLY die? That sounds like an excuse to me…” said another.

“I would! Now are you in or out?” you said slamming your hand onto the table.

A few of the succubi scoffed and left the table. The remainder didn’t look to thrilled with your proposal either.

“Sounds like a lot of work for no payoff. How do we know you’ll uphold your end of the bargain?”

“Yeah, we need some sort of proof you can provide.”

“Fine.” You huffed. “What do you want?”

The succs whispered amongst themselves for a few seconds.

“We want Brez.” They concluded.

“What?”

“Not what, who.”

One of the succubi squeezed in next to you and pointed at a young man across the dining hall. He stood out from the other men, a bit more vocal and easygoing than most of the other diminutive male students.

“Deal. But once he’s yours, I expect you to follow through when I need you.” You said.

“Fine. So… How are you going to get him to us?” she asked tentatively.

“Just swing by the men’s dorm tonight. I’ll let you in.” you said.

The horde of succubi began to disperse and you finished your meal quickly. Other monsters watched you go, uneasy of your shady dealings with the succubi. If this plan didn’t work, your interactions with the succubi would only fan the flames of jealousy. You caught sight of the dark elf who had tried to break in last night. She glared at you. Turning to the ocelomeh next to her, she began to say something while whispering to the cat-woman. The leopard’s eyes widened and she bared her teeth at you. An amazon on the other side of the dark elf nearly spat out her drink eavesdropping on the other two.

That wasn’t a good sign…

Hurrying out of the lunchroom, you began to wonder if you would have to expand this coalition of yours beyond just the succubi.

~~~~~~

No army of mamono wanting to hatefuck you could make this a bad day. Because today was magic day. The day where you would finally be able to learn how to blow things up with your brain. More efficiently.

While the rest of your class headed off to keep working with Gelvie, you and a few other magically talented men and mamono trudged off to a different training ground. Thank God for the break; your body couldn’t handle a full week of intense training intended for athletic monsters.

A small woman waved you over to the rest of the mamono. A dark priest by the look of it. And she was cute! Though your perception of cute may have been altered by spending so much time around the muscles and massive frames of the other students.

The young woman took your hands into hers and vigorously shook them up and down. “You must be Anon! Welcome! I’ve been looking forward to meeting you!” she said.

Her hands began to squeeze your wrists, gently using her index finger to trace patterns on the back of your hands. You smiled politely and tried to pull away but she clamped down even tighter.

“I’ve heard that you refuse to find a partner, even though you’ve been cleared by the doctors! Why, Anon? Don’t you know that willing abstinence is a sin?” asked the priest. Her eyes were full of pity and tears.

“I’m just here to learn magic, ma’am.” You stammered.

The dark priest quickly released your hands and smoothed out her frock. “Goodness! You’re right; I haven’t even introduced myself. My name is Zara. I’ll be instructing you in the ways of adventuring magics.” She said with a small curtsey.

“Are we going to learn combat magic?” asked a salamander.

“Of course! Knowing how to defend yourself against magical and physical threats is an integral part of any mage’s repertoire.” Said Zara.

“But will we learn OFFENSIVE magic?” asked a hornet.

“You will, but not for some time. Offensive magic is more of a niche discipline; only mamono who are going into human territories will be using it on a regular basis. For that reason, Valisias Academy prioritizes utility and defense magics.” Said Zara.

“But we WILL learn offensive spells eventually, right? For instance, how to break a ward?” asked an amazon.

“Err, yes, if you plan on moving into the slaver or military disciplines.” Said Zara.

A chorus of appreciation rumbled out of the crowd. Mayhaps t’would be wise to leave before these unsavory specimens learned how to crack your shield like an egg. A hobgoblin had already tried to stab through it with an experimentally enchanted knife. Not that it worked or anything, but like they said: it’s the thought that counts.

“Slaver, yeah… That sounds like the job for me.”

“I hear you get a better pick when you’re in the military; more men to go around.”

“Bah! Slavers have a more flexible schedule! And less risk too.”

“Now now,” said Zara, trying to regain control of the class. “You’ll have plenty of time to discuss your career paths later. For now, let me divide you into groups based on your magical aptitude.”

Pulling out a list from the sleeve of her frock, Zara sorted your classmates into groups of four. You were in a group with a chimera, a demon, and a dullahan. You recognized the chimera and demon from your other class. The dullahan was new. Or you didn’t notice her. Easy to miss normal sized mamono when the average height around here was 6’6”.

“My name is Ceith, I look forward to testing myself against you.” Said the dullahan.

How polite! You could tell she had a good head on her shoulders. In her arms. Wherever it was. Having a monster that didn’t immediately start staring at your crotch was a welcome change of pace.

“My name is Demoto… REMEMBER THAT, MEAT!”

You stumbled back, raising your shield toward the chimera as her face suddenly contorted into a sneer. The hybrid laughed and slapped your barrier with her clawed hand.

“Easy there, meat! Ma just said I have-“ her face relaxed and she took a small breath to collect herself “-a bit of amazon blood in me. It tends to ‘manifest’ when I get too excited.”

“Uhh… No problem… I’m Anon by the way.” Probably unnecessary, but it felt right to introduce yourself anyways.

“Oh Anon, I’m just so EXCITED to start working with you~” said the demon. “Finally, a man who can do more than just seal a paper-cut! Speaking of paper, how about we all sign this special training agreement that says we’ll all do our best every day?”

The blue-skinned beauty held out the contract for you with an inked quill and a nervous smile.

You waved the parchment away. “I think that we can all just VERBALLY agreed to try our hardest, miss…”

The paper in the demon’s hand crumpled a little as she realized she hadn’t introduced herself yet. “Oh! My name! Yes, my name is Voso! Pleased to meet you.”

“Well, that’s that then. I take it you’re all fairly skilled with magic?” you asked.

“Relatively.” Said Ceith.

“I could use some practice, truth be told.” Said Demoto.

“I think we all could. Looks like that group over there is the one with the best casters.” Said Voso pointing to another group.
The group she pointed at was comprised of a raiju, an ignis, a cheshire, and a plain looking woman whose race you couldn’t make out.
“Who’s the human-looking one? She doesn’t look like any mamono I’ve seen…” you asked Ceith.

“Mermaid. Transformed herself to walk around on land. Powerful too from what I hear. The fact that she can keep herself in that form and have enough mana to practice magic at the same time is a testament to that.”

The ignis noticed you were looking her way and wove a heart out of her fire. With a wink, she blew the blazing shape your way.

Probably best to avoid those four as much as possible.

“Are you worried?”

“Hardly. I can handle myself.” You said.

“Are you sure?~”

A hand squeezed your shoulder and you whipped around to face your molester. One of the cheshire’s paws and her disembodied mouth retreated through a small tear in reality. The rest of the cat woman laughed with the other members of her group. Your group mates stared at the spot where the body parts had been.

“Don’t let them get to you; just ignore them.” You muttered. “What are you three good at? Any special skills?”

Ideally ones that could complement your own talents. You were already planning to get the succubi under your thumb, but a little extra muscle couldn’t hurt. Ceith would be hard to sway, but Voso and Demoto seemed like the type of girl who would tear any potential rapist apart in a jealous rage. That being said, they were equal if not better than you in terms of magical skill. Decisions decisions…

“I’m skilled in many magical disciplines.” Said Ceith. “Mostly defensive magic and scrying; mamma made sure I learned those first.”

“I pack a wicked punch! But I’d never use it on you, Anon.” said Demoto, flattening her ears. So she had a diminutive side too…

“I have quite a bit of practice with scrying, trap detection, and utility spells. Soon I’ll be able to teleport short distances.” Said Voso.

Not bad, all things considered. Seems like your group had a good balance of skill.

Before you could ask them any more questions, Zara called for the class to reconvene.

“I hope you introduced yourselves well, you’ll be working with each other for the duration of the class. We’re now going to start by practicing our physical wards. Being able to protect yourself from projectiles is the most important defensive skill you can have. Not every dungeon or human will pose a magical threat, but ALL of them will have the capacity to inflict bodily harm if you aren’t careful. Does everyone know how to create a barrier?”

The class silently nodded.

“Wonderful! In your groups, divide into pairs and take turns parrying your partner’s attacks with these practice swords.” Said Zara.

The swords on the rack were dull and chipped. In some spots, magenta rust sat like a scab on the weathered blade. Was demon tetanus a thing? Mamono hurried over to grab the best swords before they disappeared. You patiently waited for the larger women to take their pick before moving in to grab your own sword. Small, but plenty big for a few practice swings.

“Is that the one you chose? I’ll pair up with you then.”

Voso appeared behind you. Her amethyst eyes looked over the weapon you had chosen. You offered it to her and she gave it a few experimental swings.

“Not too long, but it’s got good balance. You have a pretty good taste in weapons.” Said Voso. You could tell she wasn’t just flattering you either; she really did appreciate the blade. Made sense, she was a rouge-ish type after all.

“Who says YOU get to practice with the meat, hell spawn?” growled Demoto.

“Demoto, please. I doubt Anon could even swing that thing.” Said Ceith, pointing to the claymore the chimera was holding.

“Bah! If he wasn’t so weak he could. And besides, he looks strong enough to me~”

Maybe there was something you could feed her to stymie these mood swings… You could get monsters to eat ANYTHING as long as you passed it off as “authentic human dimension cooking”.

“How about you practice with him next time?” offered Ceith.

“Acceptable! But I don’t like it.” Said Demoto.

“Don’t worry, you’ll get your chance. We shouldn’t be fighting on the first day.” Said Voso. It was easy to tell how pleased she was; her tail wagged in little circles as she squared up with you.

“Ready?” she asked.

“Ready.” You said.

Voso began thrusting and slashing at you while you blocked the attacks. Demoto let out a snarl and began to whale on Ceith’s shield with a claymore. Each swing ricocheted off with a loud crackle. You hoped that when it was Demoto’s turn to be your partner that the training exercise would be one that didn’t risk you being cut down with a giant sword.

Zara walked the field, inspecting everyone’s magic and giving advice on what to improve. Eventually she meandered over to your group. Voso nearly tagged your thigh with a lunging thrust as your attention faltered.

Zara frowned and trotted around you in a semicircle as the barrage of blows continued. Finally she signaled for Voso to stop.

“Anon, how have you not been raped yet?”

“Huh?”

Her question baffled you. What was that supposed to mean? Were you missing something? Did you let your guard down?

“That has to be one of the most inefficient wards I’ve ever seen.” Said Zara. “Are you keeping it up the whole time?”

“Of course. I don’t know where she’s going to strike next.” You said.

Zara gave you a contemptuous stare. “If you don’t want to drain your mana reserves blocking, you’re going to have to learn to expend less energy blocking. The only reason you’ve been able to survive so far is brute strength. It’s a miracle no one has torn this thing open yet.”

The dark priest emphasized her point by coating her hand in magic and thrusting it at you. Your shield caved inward as she gently tapped you in the stomach.

“Oh, how interesting! What spell is that?” asked Voso.

Zara ignored her. “And why are you using a WALL of energy? Honestly Anon, I know you aren’t too familiar with magic, but please try and use some common sense. A mesh barrier is more energy efficient and easier to manipulate.”

Zara waved her hands and a glowing lattice spread out in front of her.

You concentrated on the shape and summoned your own chain-link fence of energy.

“I feel kind of… exposed.” You said. An archer could easily slot you through this thing. Or anyone with a knife.

“Make the gaps smaller.” Said Zara. “This type of barrier is best for melee attacks. If your enemy is using archery or spells, a full shield is proper practice.”

Channeling more energy into the spell, you shrunk the holes in your barrier.

“Better. Voso, take a few swings at him.”

The demon began to strike you again, this time with more gusto. One of her thrusts caught the mesh at a bad angle and she managed to force it through. The tip of the sword clipped your thigh sending a wave of heat through your body. Zara held up a hand to stop Voso.

“Are you alright?” asked Zara.

“Yeah…” you said.

Sure you were uninjured, but you were now painfully erect. The cut on your leg was also starting to leak mana; that shimmering heat haze like gas from a stove flickered in the wind as energy left your body. Other groups slowed and stopped their own training to witness the spectacle. Voso quickly sucked off the trace amount of mana from the practice sword and shuddered with glee. A few canine monsters began to sniff the air. Probably time to leave…

“I think I should go get this patched up.” You said.

“Hmm…”

Zara eyed the nick on your thigh and mulled it over. “That cut isn’t deep. It’ll heal in no time. Why don’t you just help Voso with her barrier instead. If you’re about to pass out, I’ll send someone to carry you to the infirmary.

The bigger mamono perked up at the word carry. One of the amazons unconsciously flexed her biceps.

“I can carry him!” blurted Voso.

“He doesn’t need to be carried yet. You’ll all take a few scrapes here; it wouldn’t be Valisias Academy if you didn’t pass out at least once during your training.” Said Zara.

“I’m fine, really.” You said. Can’t show weakness here. Falling asleep in your room was already dangerous enough. Falling asleep in the open was a death sentence. “Come on, Voso. Why don’t you put up your barrier and practice what she taught us?”

Voso gave you a concerned look but handed you the sword. Raising her own purple energy net, you took a few practice swings.

“Oh wow.”

Some of the other mamono were snickering at your risible display of swordsmanship.

“Look at how he holds it!”

“Disgraceful.”

“He’s like a child…”

“Anon, where did you learn to use a sword?” asked Voso. She was trying hard (and failing) not to giggle.

“I’ve never used one of these before. People in my world were on to bigger and better things.” You said softly.

“So no one in your world knew how to cut things?” asked Voso incredulously.

“Of course they did! We still used knives. But warfare wasn’t about smacking each other with sharp pieces of metal.”

“You’re going to have a hell of a time learning swordsmanship here. Rumor has it that the teachers are awfully strict when it comes to that sort of thing.”

“Great…”

Both Oroba and Petropa had forbid you from learning swordsmanship. Petropa obviously didn’t want you learning any type of self-defense, and Oroba had insisted that if your safety came down to a swordfight you were already raped.

“I can teach you a few things.” Voso’s eyes sparkled.

“Just give me the basics.” You said.

Voso gave a little squeal of joy and hurried over to you. “Okay, the first thing you need to work on is your grip…”

~~~~~

You hit Voso’s barrier again.

“Better.” She said.

Lowering your practice sword, you leaned on your knees to catch your breath. Swinging this thing hundreds of times was actually starting to hurt. And the mana you had lost earlier wasn’t making the exertion any easier.

“Alright everyone! Let’s reconvene before we end class.” Said Zara.

The mamono shuffled over to the dark priest. Now that the day’s training was finished it was clear which of your peers were most powerful. The weaker mamono were exhausted. One centaur looked like she was about to pass out. But the strong ones looked just as vivacious now as they had hours ago. The ignis was lazily doing flips in the air, unfazed by the energy loss.

“You’ve all done very well today. Make sure to practice your barriers on your own time to perfect them. Read up on trap detection techniques, we’ll be learning the basic utility spells next class.” Said Zara.

With a collective sigh of relief, the horde shuffled off to the mess hall. You rubbed your stomach where you had been wounded. Hopefully this wasn’t leaking anymore mana…

A firm hand clasped your shoulder. Shit, you hadn’t put your ward back up. You swiveled to see an oni leering down at you. She looked just as surprised as you that her hand was actually able to make contact with you.

“Oh ho? Feeling a little drained?” said the oni, squeezing your shoulder.

You pried her hand free with a wave of your hand and put your barrier back up just in time to stop the tide of hands and paws that came your way. The oni smiled at you with narrowed eyes.

“Don’t get to cocky, weakling. It’s just a matter of time. You can’t protect yourself. Neither can that demon whore you were practicing with earlier. So don’t get too familiar with her.”

You kept walking.

“I’m not mad at you, you know. I just want to keep you safe. Just come with me, and I’ll make sure nothing can ever hurt you.”

Keep walking. You flinched as a massive fist collided with your shield from behind.

“I’m talking to you, slut!”

All hell broke loose. Before you could even rectify your stagger, Demoto had already positioned herself between you and the oni. Voso wasn’t far behind. Some of the other monsters cheered and egged the oni on while others threatened to beat her if she touched you again. The Cheshire floated above the scene, clearly thrilled by the drama below.

“DON’T touch Anon.” demanded Demoto. Her snake tail was going ballistic, thrashing and biting at anything around her. Including you.

“Don’t hurt the poor thing!”

“Fuck that, tear that wall open and show him a human’s place!”

“If she does get him open, I call second.”

“Fuck you, he’s MINE.”

“You think you can stop me, freak?” said the oni.

“I’ll do more than stop you.” Said Demoto. She spit a small gout of fire at the oni’s feet.

Time to go.

“Demoto, come on. Let’s go.” You said.

Demoto’s face lit up with joy. “COMING, Anon. I know you don’t want to leave without me~”

That did it. Demoto’s taunt earned her a hard punch to the jaw. The chimera snarled and unleashed a torrent of flames at the oni. Some of the fire went wide, singeing some of the other mamono. As several monsters surged forward to attack Demoto, even more made a beeline towards you.

“Anon! Wait! Are you already taken by the chimera?!”

“He isn’t! She hasn't done shit to him!”

“I don’t care if he belongs to someone or not; he’s getting shared!”

Running was useless. You ran anyways. Voso was right there beside you.

“Anon! Quick! Take my hand and I’ll lift us out of here!” said Voso.

Not like there was any other choice. You reached out to take her hand.

And stopped.

Her palm was coated in ink. A scroll wrapped around her arm, disappearing into her sleeve. A signature line with a space for a thumbprint was conveniently situated where you would be grasping. Where the hell did she get all this from?!

“You don’t have a choice.”

Though it was midday and you were sprinting, a chill wormed its way down the back of your neck. Voso’s tone was different now. Huskier, more commanding. Not nearly as bubbly and welcoming as she had been just a moment ago. You tore your gaze away from the inky hand. Her eyes were glowing.

“Give me your mark. You are MINE.”

Her eyes pulsed as she spoke. It was impossible to look away. The thunderous sound of feet hooves and claws approaching tapered off into a dull white noise. She was right, you had to sign. The rest of the world was too hazy; Voso was the only thing that wasn’t rippling or warping. Trying to look anywhere but her eyes became painful. You groaned as the sky dipped down to the ground behind her.

“MINE.”

Her voice was excruciatingly loud. It shattered the silence and threatened to overwhelm your already mangled senses.

“NOW!”

You clasped your head as Voso’s voice echoed through your skull. Collapsing to your knees, you scrambled towards your savior. The only beacon of salvation in this wicked world.

And then she was gone.

Vertigo wracked your body and you dry-heaved into the dust. A harpy had just tackled the shit out of Voso at Mach two. The rest of the mamono didn’t give you a chance to shake off the doldrums of Voso’s magic. They were on you in an instant, pulling you in five different directions as they all tried to secure you as their own. Your screams were lost in the cacophony of shouts, boos, and shrieks. Claws and teeth scraped and scratched your body as your uniform was shredded away.

“NOOOOOO!”

Your neck wrenched painfully as the world was turned upside down. Through all the clamoring claws, paws, and talons, two massive hands pulled you free of the chaos. You let out a grunt of pain as your head was stuffed somewhere dark and soft.

“You shouldn’t be mean to people!” pleaded your savior.

“Fuck you, you damn snake! Give him here!”

“No! Not until you’re nice to him!”

Pushing with all your might you dislodged your head and swallowed a lungful of precious air. It was a wurm! Your simple savior must have heard your distress and come to rescue you. Rescue was a tenuous term though. You would take some of species she had just saved you from over being power-raped by a metric fuckton of muscle and scale.

“Dear! Stop! Put him down!”

The wurm gasped with happiness and dumped you onto the ground. Spinning around, she scooped up the man behind her and hugged him.

“I’m sorry! I just didn’t want him to get hurt.” Said the wurm, nuzzling his face.

“YOU’RE going to hurt him if you aren’t careful. He’s fragile.”

The wurm gasped and looked down at you. You were busy wedging yourself between her tail and the ground, trying to get as far away from the mob as possible.

“You’re not hurt are you?” asked the wurm.

“I am, but you didn’t hurt me.” Technically a lie since she did drop you hard on your shoulder, but this fib would prevent you from having your spine snapped in a hug.

The wurm glared at the other monsters. “You should all be ashamed. You hurt him!”

“He deserved it! And besides, he’s fine.”

“Yeah, he can’t keep teasing us!”

“To hell with Maranth! She’s been married too long! She’s forgotten what it’s like for monsters without a husband!”

A hellhound pushed her way to the front of the throng. “Excuse me, that man is my husband.”

“Oh! Then you can take him.” Said the wurm. She reached down with a tremendous claw and scooped you up.

The crowd roared in disapproval, shouting at the wurm that she was mistaken.

“She’s not his wife...” said the man on her shoulder. “She’s just saying that so you’ll hand him over.”

“Huh? What are you saying?” asked the wurm.

“She’s lying!” insisted her husband.

“Lying?”

“I’m not lying. Lying is wrong.” Said the hellhound.

The wurm relaxed a bit, but remained unconvinced. “How do I know you’re REALLY his wife?”

“Because I love him veeery much.” Said the hellhound.

You tried to pull back the wurm’s talons and make a break for it. If you had to put your faith in your mangled legs or a wurm brain, you were running. The wurm pulled you closer and whispered loudly in your ear.

“Is this some kind of roleplay, or are you really not married?”

“She’s not my wife damnit!” you shouted.

“I am! He just hit his head. He’s a bit confused.”

“Fuck you, bitch. I’m his wife!”

Heads turned to the back of the crowd. You couldn’t see who else laid claim to you.

“So you have TWO wives.” Said the wurm nodding. “I understand now.”

Understand what?!

“None of these monsters are my wife! I don’t have a wife!” you said, grabbing the wurm’s cheeks and forcing her to look at you.

“…You don’t?”

The wurm’s husband was frantically waving his hand back and forth across his neck.

“No!”

Your ribs creaked as the serpent’s gargantuan hand began to squeeze you. Tears welled up in the wurm’s eyes.

“But that’s so sad!” hiccuped the wurm. “Aren’t you lonely?”

“I’ll make him happy!” said the hellhound.

The wurm looked at the hellhound, and then back to you. She smiled.

“Don’t worry, little guy. You won’t be lonely any longer.”

“Sweetie, no! That’s not how this works!” said the wurm’s husband.

Before anyone else could convince the wurm that handing a wounded human off to a three-hundred pound ball of rape and claws was a bad idea, the hellhound snatched you away and tucked you under one of her arms. The rest of the crowd tried to give chase, but a sweep from the wurm’s tail sent them flying.

“Don’t hurt other people’s husbands!” she shouted.

By now, the class was more focused on punishing the wurm for her idiocy rather than raping you. A cartoonish dust cloud began to form behind you as magic and fists began to fly. Only a few harpies and winged mamono managed to maintain pursuit.

“I can’t fucking believe that worked!~” giggled the hellhound.

You fired off a spell at her feet, tripping her.

“Fuck!” she inhaled sharply. “Do that again and I’ll take you right here! We both know you don’t have the juice to get out of this, so it's up to you whether you get taken by one monster or twenty. I promise I’ll be gentle if you behave."

Bullshit! Look how much you’re drooling, lady!

“Like hell I’m just giving up.” You said. This time she was ready for your attack. A ward caught your spell and dissipated the magic before it could reach her.

“Hah! Have it your way. I was gonna savage you anyways~”

The harpies never stood a chance. At most, they could only annoy the hound as she bolted across the field. Bursting through the door, the hellhound hurried down the hall.

“I can’t wait to sink my teeth into you.” Panted the hellhound. You couldn’t tell if she was winded or just horny. “I’ll show you our room! We can move your stuff in lat- HYEEE!”

The hellhound let out an uncharacteristically high-pitched squeal as she rounded the corner. You fell out of her arms as the hellhound backed away from whatever startled her. You looked up to see what had startled the apex sexual predator. Maranth!

“Hello, Pambas~” said Maranth sweetly.

Squawks, shouts, and howls filled the hall as the other students started to catch up. Every monster that rounded the corner had the same reaction as the hellhound; stop, squeak, turn.

“I see you have Anon.” said Maranth.

The hellhound, Pambas apparently, picked you back up and stuffed your face into her breasts.

“He’s mine! I got him first!”

“I see… Did you already finish him? He looks a little…”

Though you couldn’t see Maranth’s voice, you could hear her confusion. Explaining how your alleged husband was almost naked, covered in scratches, bites, hickeys, bruises, and sweat was a tall order.

“None of your damn business. Get out of the way.”

“Mmm…”

The mamono watching the scene unfold began to whisper. One word kept coming up.

“Divot.”

“Oh yeah, divot.”

“Fuuuuck… She’s really going to push this isn’t she…”

What the fuck did that mean?

“I was actually looking for Anon; I needed to speak to him about something.” Said Maranth.

“He can talk later!” snarled Pambas.

“Anon? Can you even hear me in there?” asked Maranth. You wiggled a little bit to acknowledge her.

“Don’t talk to him!” shouted Pambas. Her grip tightened on you and you whimpered as her claws dug into your scalp.

“I think you’re hurting him.” Said Maranth.

Pambas instantly loosened her grip, but kept you firmly secured in her chest fluff.

“He needs me, Maranth. We both know he’s going to get torn to shreds if you just let him walk around unmarried. I can protect him.” Said Pambas.

“Protect him from who? Other mamono who want to love and cherish him?”

Pambas grinded her teeth. “That’s not fair, Maranth.”

“Why not? You certainly aren’t the strongest bachelorette at the school. You aren’t even the strongest in the class.” The valk took a step towards Pambas. To her credit, Pambas held her ground. “We both know that at Valisias men go to whoever gets them first. And whoever’s strongest get’s first pick. I’ve made a special exemption for Anon because of his unique circumstances. If I waive that exemption for you, I have to waive it for everyone. Unless you REALLY think that you can take on every other girl in the Academy who want’s a piece of him, I suggest that you let the poor guy go.”

“NEVER!” roared Pambas.

A sharp whistle pierced your ear as something flew past your head. The world sifted as Pambas collapsed backwards, still clutching you tight. The crowd let out a collective ‘ooh’ as they grimaced at the spectacle. Pushing yourself off of the hound, you almost collided with Maranth standing above you. In one move, the Valkyrie had unsheathed her sword and pinned Pambas to the floor with it. Pambas’ tongue lolled out of her mouth for a moment as her eyes retreated into her head before she let out a contented sigh and started snoring. Maranth slipped her arms under yours and helped you to your wobbly feet.

“Could one of you take her to the infirmary?” asked Maranth. A matronly looking unicorn slipped through the crowd to drag the would-be rapist away. All that remained of the incident was a puddle of arousal and a small hole in the floor where Maranth had skewered her.

Ah. Divot.

“Anon, are you free? I wanted to talk to you in my office if you had a moment.” Said Maranth, sheathing her sword.
You nodded dumbly.

“Wonderful!~”

You shambled after Maranth as she strode briskly away from the paralyzed crowd.

~~~~~

“Take a seat.” Said Maranth.

You collapsed into the chair and let your head flop over the back. You heard a small whoosh as Maranth lit another one of her herb-cigarettes and exhaled a plume of smoke.

“How have you been adjusting to Valisias Academy?” asked Maranth.

“Fine.” You said reflexively.

“Oh? So you weren’t about to have your cock ridden to a stump my an angry mob of mamono?”

“That wasn’t my fault. Voso used some bullshit charm spell on me.”

“Oh my! Monsters using charm spells?”

You lifted your head and glared at her. She smiled and straightened a thick stack of papers in front of her.

“Anon, I have a stack of ‘incident reports’ here. Do you know how many of these have your name on them?” asked Maranth.

“…All of them?”

She tapped a bit of ash into a tray. “Well I’m glad to see you’re not stupid; just foolish. How long have you been here?”

“Less than a week.”

“Less than a week… Hmm…” Maranth pulled back the corner of the stack, letting the papers fall back one by one.

“Come on, it’s not like I’m trying to stir up trouble.” You said.

“Then I must say you have an incredible talent for it. Raigill did brief me on your customs; when someone confronts you, you just try to ignore them, correct?”

“Exactly! I try to move on with my day and the next thing you know they’re trying to pin me! And them someone else pins them, and the whole thing spirals out of control!” you said.

“I see. A clash of cultures then.” Said Maranth easing back into her chair.

“What do you mean?”

“I MEAN this is mamono country you’re in. These aren’t human customs, and CERTAINLY aren’t otherworldly human customs. Best you learn to adapt when I’m not around to save your hide.” She let smoke flow out of her mouth. “Which I said I wouldn’t do by the way.”

“What do you mean ‘adapt’?”

“Monsters are used to getting an answer from a man when they talk to him. Even if it’s a no. Now, ‘no’ doesn’t necessarily dissuade monsters all the time but it does show that the man was at least paying attention to them. What you do… it’s not only an insult but a challenge as well. When you stay quiet, they want to make you scream even more.”

“What am I supposed to say?” you asked.

“That’s the tricky part. No real answer to that one; you’ll have to use your intuition and figure something out on a case by case basis. Every monster is unique; remember that.”

“Wonderful.”

“Don’t look so sad. I have a feeling you’ll find a way to make it all work out.” Said Maranth. “Now, about these reports…”

“Are you going to make me do community service or something?” you asked sarcastically.

Maranth’s eyes glinted. “It could be construed as a service to the community.”

Uh oh…

“You see Anon, I’m not mad about all these.” Said Maranth, slapping the pile. “In fact, I’m enjoying this.”

“Really?”

“You have no idea how boring this place can get!” said Maranth. She stood up and walked over to the window overlooking the training fields. “Day after day it’s just practice, study, practice study… The only reprieve from the monotony is when we have the practical exams or Academy Games. But then…” She turned back to you. “Someone like you comes along. It’s never been a guy before, but it always goes down the same way. Someone so polarizing that their name is on every students lips. The mere mention of them is enough to start a brawl. Monsters divide themselves into factions and the school turns into a warzone.”

“Maybe I’m missing how this is a good thing…” you said.

Maranth slammed her hands onto her desk and gave you a crazed smile. “Because it’s fun! It’s dynamic! This place was never meant to be a school, it was meant to be a bloody crucible to forge the best damn adventurers and warriors that ever walked the world! You can’t breed that kind of excellence with a training dummy and a textbook; it’s gotta be REAL combat. I haven’t been this excited in thirty years!”

“Oh, well… Happy to help.” You said.

“And help you shall. Take a look at this.” Said Maranth. She handed you a flier.

MAGIC COMPETITION. FIRST PLACE: A MANA POTION FROM ANON.

You looked up at Maranth. She wiggled her eyebrows. You leaned over and dumped the flier into the trash can next to her desk.

“No.”

“I figured you’d say that. So I’ll sweeten the pot; if you provide the “resources” for a mana potion, I won’t hold an open tournament for your hand in marriage.”

You coughed as air got caught in your throat. “WHAT?!”

“Don’t get me wrong Anon, I like you. You’re a good guy, even if you do have an attitude problem. But do I REALLY like you enough to keep filing all these reports?” she asked with an exaggerated pout.

“You told me you didn’t even do any paperwork!” you said.

“I know. I when I say ‘filing’ I mean filing. This place is a mess you know.” Said Maranth, gesturing to the heaps of clutter around the office. Touché.

“As an adherent to both Eros and the Fallen God, I’m also a bit miffed that you’re still single. Doesn’t sit right with me, even though I know it’s not entirely your fault. The sooner you get married the better. I think this little competition will help sus out some potential brides.” Said Maranth.

“Why a magic competition?” you asked.

“You’re good with magic. Well, not GOOD, but you’ve got a lot of the stuff and I wanna see if your kids turn out to be freakishly strong as well. Do you have a problem with magic?”

“No it’s just that-“

“You prefer muscles to magic?” asked Maranth cutting you off.

“That’s not it either!”

She giggled. “We can have physical competition next time, just for you~”

“Are you even listening?”

“Anyways, get that mana sample in as soon as possible.” Said Maranth ignoring you. “The competition will help take a bit of heat off you as well; these barbarians may be rapists, but they all respect a fair fight.”

“Yeah, what could go wrong…” you said.

“I’m so excited to find out!” said Maranth wiggling her wings in anticipation.

~~~~~~~

“Woah! Anon, you look like shit…”

You yawned and shuffled past the succubus. The chaos of the morning class had almost made you forget your promise to get them their man in exchange for protection. THEY didn’t forget.

“Let’s just get this over with…” you grumbled.

You told the succubi to stay put and wait for your signal. The three semen demons crouched around the corner just out of sight. Time to put your masterful plan into action.

Walking up to Brez’s door, you pounded on the thick wood. “Brez, it’s Anon. I need to give you something.”

You heard the bolt sliding out of place. Brez opened the door rubbing sleep from his eyes.

“Anon? What is it?” he asked.

You used your magic to yank him into the hall. “You’ll thank me for this later.”

“What are you-“

With another flick of your wrist, you gave him alight tap in the gut. He doubled over and you quickly floated him down the hall to the waiting succubi. Brez let out one last shriek as a bachelor before he got hit with a barrage of charm spells. The hallway was practically glowing pink as the succubi figuratively and literally sunk their teeth into their meal.

As much as you loved seeing the man you just betrayed get gangraped, it was past your bedtime. You ascended the next flight of stairs to your floor and crept into your room. Stepping over the weak spot in the floor where a succubus had tried to tunnel into your room, you stuffed a bit of demon-realm cotton into your ears to drown out the sounds of sexual assault and went to sleep