Birdman (2014)

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Improved by: @Ivandrofly

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<font color="#808080">(DRUMSTICKS CLANKING)</font>

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<font color="#808080">(MUSICIAN SPEAKING SPANISH)</font>

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<font color="#808080">(DRUMS PLAYING SYNCOPATED JAZZ BEAT)</font>

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<font color="#808080">(CLOCK TICKING)</font>

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<font color="#808080">(RIGGAN INHALES DEEPLY)</font>

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<font color="#808080">(INHALES)</font>

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<font color="#804040">RIGGAN AS BIRDMAN</font>: <i>How
did we end up here?</i>

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<i>This place is horrible.</i>

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<i>Smells like balls.</i>

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<i>We don't belong
in this shithole.</i>

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<font color="#808080">(LAPTOP CHIMING)</font> <font color="#808080">(RIGGAN
EXHALES DEEPLY)</font>

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<font color="#808080">(CRACKING)</font>

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<font color="#804040">RIGGAN</font>: Shit.

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Hey, Sam.

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<i>Dad, what kind of... Shut up!</i>

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<i>What kind of flowers
did you want?</i>

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Alchemillas.
Or something that smells nice.

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<i>Something soothing.
It all smells like fucking kimchi!</i>

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That looks nice.
Anything but roses.

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<i>I hate this job.</i>

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<font color="#808080">(CHIMING)</font>

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<font color="#808080">(SIGHS)</font>

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<font color="#808080">(EXHALES DEEPLY)</font>

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<font color="#808080">(INHALES DEEPLY)</font>

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<font color="#804040">ANNIE</font>: <font color="#808080">(OVER SPEAKER)</font>
Riggan, everyone's set for 1-4.

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<i>They're ready for you.</i>

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<i>Riggan, they're ready for you.</i>

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<font color="#808080">(EXHALES)</font>

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<font color="#808080">(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)</font>

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Mr. Thomson. Steve.

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It's Daniel. Okay.

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<font color="#804040">JAKE</font>: Oh, hey, buddy.
How you doing?

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Pretty good. Yeah, I'd be a lot
better if I could get, uh...

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Ralph to stop, you know, acting.

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He'll be fine.

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And he was yelling, "I love
you, I love you, bitch!"

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<font color="#808080">(SCOFFS)</font>
What do you do with a love like that?

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That's not love and you know it.

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Why do you insist
on calling it love?

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Say what you want,
but I know what it was.

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What about you, Nick?
Does that sound like love?

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Sorry I'm late.
Sound like love...

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Look, I'm the wrong
person to ask.

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I only heard the man's name
mentioned in passing.

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I wouldn't know.
You'd have to know the particulars.

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I think you're saying
love is absolute.

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Yeah. The kind of love
I'm talking about is...

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The kind of love
I'm talking about,

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you don't try and kill people.

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It was love, Mel.
To Eddie, it was.

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I don't care what anyone says.

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He was ready to die for it.

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Ask her what he did
after she left him. <font color="#808080">(SIGHS)</font>

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He shot himself in the mouth,
but he screwed that up, too.

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Poor Ed.

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Poor Ed, my ass!
The guy was dangerous!

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<font color="#804040">LAURA</font>: How did he screw
up shooting himself in the mouth?

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He used to carry this. 22.
We lived like fugitives then.

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Ralph, Ralph, Ralph.

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Fugitives are scared, you know?

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Fugitives are on the run.

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Can you give me more of that?
You know, fear?

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<font color="#804040">RALPH</font>: Great idea.

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We lived like fugitives then.

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I never knew if he was going
to come out from behind a bush,

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or a car, and just
start shooting.

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The man was crazy!
He was capable of anything!

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<font color="#804040">LAURA</font>: Christ, what a nightmare.

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He'd call me
at the hospital and say:

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"Son of a bitch,
your clays are numbered!"

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Too much?
It's a little bit too much.

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I can tell, because you...
I just want to give you a range.

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<font color="#804040">JAKE</font>: Call 911!

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<font color="#804040">LESLEY</font>: Is he breathing?

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<font color="#804040">LAURA</font>: Is blood coming
out of his ear?

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Where are you going?

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<font color="#804040">LAURA</font>: Did someone call 911?

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<font color="#804040">JAKE</font>: Do not move him!
Wait for an ambulance!

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Well, that's a fucking lawsuit.

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Where are you going?
The understudy'll be here.

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Forget the understudy.
Cancel the first preview.

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But it's a full house!
We'd have to refund...

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Just do it.

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How's Ralph? He'll be fine.

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Wait. Will you fucking wait?

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Jake, it would have
been a disaster.

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That guy's the worst
actor I've ever seen.

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Bleeding's the most honest
thing he's done so far.

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He's not that bad!

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Okay, he's fucking terrible.

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You have the press in your dressing
room in a few hours.

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I'll make something up.
I'll think of something, riff.

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Hold on.

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That wasn't an accident.

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What do you mean?

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I made it happen.

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Oh, okay.

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Are you drunk?

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Just find me an actor... a good actor.
Woody Harrelson!

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<i>He's</i> doing
<i>the next Hunger Games.</i>

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Um, Michael Fassbender.

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He's doing the prequel
to the X-Men prequel.

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How about, uh, Jeremy Renner?
Who?

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Jeremy Renner! He was nominated.
The Hurt Locker guy.

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He's an Avenger.

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Fuck! They put him in a cape, too?
I don't care.

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Just find me someone.

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Ralph will sue us.
He will sue us and he has a case.

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Just make it go away.

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Look, you're my attorney.
You're my producer. You're my best friend.

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Now go out there and do
what you were born to do.

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How do you suppose I do that?
How...

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<font color="#804040">NEWSREADER</font>: <i><font color="#808080">(ON TV)</font> Next, an exclusive
interview with Robert Downey, Jr...</i>

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<i>who's busy following up his billion-dollar</i>
Iron Man <i>franchise...</i>

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<i>with the equally successful
Avengers series.</i>

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<font color="#808080">(CLICKS)</font>

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<font color="#808080">(SIGHS)</font>

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<font color="#804040">BIRDMAN</font>: <i>That clown doesn't
have half your talent...</i>

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and <i>he's making</i> a <i>fortune
in that Tin Man get-up.</i>

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<font color="#808080">(SIGHS)</font>

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<i>We were the real thing, Riggan.</i>

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We had <i>it</i> all.
<font color="#808080">(INHALES DEEPLY)</font>

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We gave <i>it</i> away.
<font color="#808080">(EXHALES)</font>

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Breathing in.

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<i>We handed these poseurs
the keys to the kingdom.</i>

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Breathing out.

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<i>You listening to me?</i>

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Breathing in,
I embrace my anger.

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<font color="#808080">(BIRDMAN LAUGHING)</font>

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Yeah, embrace it.

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<i>But I'm not going away.
You know I'm right.</i>

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<font color="#808080">(GRUNTS)</font>

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<i>Look at that.</i>

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<i>These people don't know
what you're capable of.</i>

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<font color="#808080">(SHATTERS)</font>

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<font color="#804040">GABRIEL</font>: Why would somebody
go from playing

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the lead in a comic
book franchise...

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to adapting Raymond Carver
for the stage? <font color="#808080">(SIGHS)</font>

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As you're probably
aware, Barthes said:

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"The cultural work done
in the past by gods and epic sagas..."

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"...is now being done by laundry
detergent commercials..."

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"...and comic strip characters."

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This is a big leap you've taken.

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Yeah, it is. Absolutely.
Absolutely.

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<font color="#808080">(CLEARS THROAT)</font>
Like you said...

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that, uh, Barthes said, uh...

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Birdman, like lcarus...

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Okay, hang on.
Who is this Barthes guy?

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Which Birdman was he in?

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<font color="#804040">GABRIEL</font>: Uh, Roland Barthes
was a French philosopher,

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and if you knew anything
about the history of...

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Now is it true you've been injecting
yourself with semen from baby pigs?

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I'm sorry, what?
As a method of facial rejuvenation?

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Where did you read that?

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It was tweeted
by @prostatewhispers.

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<font color="#808080">(CHUCKLES)</font>
That's not true.

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I know, but did you do it?

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No, I didn't do it.

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Okay, I'll write
you're denying it.

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Don't write anything.
Why would you write anything?

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Don't write what she said.
I didn't put any baby pig...

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<font color="#804040">GABRIEL</font>: Are you at all afraid that people
will say you're doing this play...

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to battle the impression
you're a washed-up superhero?

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No, absolutely not.
That's why...

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twenty years ago, I said no to Birdman 4.
<font color="#808080">(HAN GASPING)</font>

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<i>Birdman 4? You do Birdman 4?!</i>

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Thank you for coming out.
Thank you.

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We're expecting
some great pieces.

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<font color="#808080">(SIGHS)</font>
The guys in publicity...

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want a Times feature,

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which is the worst
idea right now.

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<font color="#808080">(SIGHS)</font>

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What are you doing?

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I don't want to look
at this anymore.

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That was a present
from the crew.

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Don't fuck with them...
they're union.

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I don't care.

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How'd it go? Good.

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They talk about Ralph?
He did it.

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The motherfucker did it.

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Threatened to sue us.

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What'd you say? Me?

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I said, "Motherfucker,
are you threatening me?"

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00:11:15,680 --> 00:11:17,762
"If I so much as get
a letter from a lawyer..."

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"...the press is getting
pictures off your computer."

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What pictures?

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He has a thing
for nuns in diapers.

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Why do you care?
Point is, I made it go away.

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That's great.

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00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:33,886
Yeah, it's fantastic,
except for one thing.

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00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:35,770
We have no actor. Uh-huh.

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00:11:35,880 --> 00:11:38,201
And if we cancel the preview,
the press will smell blood.

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We can't afford to lose
any more money.

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What do you think I should do?

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We hired an understudy.

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Use him. No.

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Riggan, listen to me.
Please, for the love of God, listen.

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00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:51,326
Our perfect dream actor is not going
to knock on that door and go,

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"Hey, fellas, when do
I start?" <font color="#808080">(KNOCKING ON DOOR)</font>

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Can I talk to you? What's up?

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You find another actor? No.

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00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:01,970
Mike's available. Mike who?

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I thought he was doing
the thing...

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He quit. Or got fired.

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00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:06,321
Mike who?

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00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:08,402
Which is it, quit or fired?
With Mike, it's usually both.

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00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:10,324
Mike fucking who? Shiner.

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Yes! Jake.

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00:12:12,160 --> 00:12:13,924
How do you know Mike Shiner?

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We share a vagina.

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You think he'd do it? Mmm-hmm.

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How do you know? He told me.

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Jake. Yes.

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00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:22,089
Ask me if he sells tickets.

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00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:23,401
Does he sell tickets?

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00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:26,324
A shitload. Ask me
if the theater critics love him.

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00:12:26,560 --> 00:12:27,800
Do theater critics love him?

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00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:30,247
They want to spooge on him.

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Right on his face.
Everything for a reason.

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You think he'd come
in this evening?

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I'll call and find out.

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I'll call his agent.

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Amazing, amazing.

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00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:50,644
Annie? Clear the theater,
send everyone to dinner

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00:12:50,720 --> 00:12:52,643
and give me some lights!

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00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:54,201
We've got a put-in tonight.

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<font color="#804040">ANNIE</font>: Who?

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<font color="#804040">JAKE</font>: You'll find out.

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Intimidating, isn't it?

231
00:13:12,320 --> 00:13:13,890
You have any idea
the people who have

232
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:17,009
walked on these
boards before you?

233
00:13:17,680 --> 00:13:20,160
Geraldine Page. Helen Hayes.

234
00:13:20,520 --> 00:13:24,491
Jason Robards. Marlon Brando.
And now Riggan Thomson.

235
00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:27,804
<font color="#808080">(CHUCKLES)</font> Thanks for coming
in on such short notice, Mike.

236
00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:29,491
This is what I do.

237
00:13:29,560 --> 00:13:31,164
You wrote this adaptation?

238
00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:32,561
I did, yeah. Ah.

239
00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:36,009
And you're directing and starring.
That's ambitious.

240
00:13:36,320 --> 00:13:37,321
Well, thanks.

241
00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:40,007
Well, it's a good theater.

242
00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:44,167
I can't speak for your play, but...
let's do a little bit of it.

243
00:13:44,480 --> 00:13:46,600
<font color="#804040">RIGGAN</font>: Oh, I didn't expect
you to just jump right in.

244
00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:49,320
It's first preview tomorrow night.
Let's get to work.

245
00:13:49,560 --> 00:13:53,406
Well, feel free to take the script
up until you feel comfortable.

246
00:13:53,680 --> 00:13:56,160
No, let's just do some of it.

247
00:13:57,520 --> 00:13:58,521
Uh...

248
00:13:58,600 --> 00:13:59,931
Take a look at page 20.

249
00:14:00,160 --> 00:14:01,685
I'm good. I don't need it.

250
00:14:01,920 --> 00:14:03,126
I don't need the script.
Give me a cue.

251
00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:04,361
What?

252
00:14:04,600 --> 00:14:06,284
Feed me a line.
<font color="#808080">(STAMMERING)</font>

253
00:14:06,520 --> 00:14:07,681
Feed me a line.

254
00:14:07,760 --> 00:14:08,841
Okay.

255
00:14:09,200 --> 00:14:11,362
Okay, uh, let me think.

256
00:14:13,680 --> 00:14:16,524
I'm the wrong person to ask.
I didn't actually know him.

257
00:14:16,640 --> 00:14:18,961
I only heard his name mentioned
in passing. Mmm-hmm.

258
00:14:19,040 --> 00:14:20,644
You'd have to know
the particulars.

259
00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:24,048
But I think what you're
saying is love is absolute.

260
00:14:24,880 --> 00:14:28,282
Is that what I'm saying? Am I saying
love is absolute? <font color="#808080">(INHALES SHARPLY)</font>

261
00:14:28,360 --> 00:14:30,203
Yes. Okay, yeah!
The kind of love

262
00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:31,884
I'm talking about is absolute.

263
00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:35,886
The kind of love I'm talking about,
you don't try to kill people!

264
00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:37,804
How do you know the lines?

265
00:14:38,360 --> 00:14:41,045
It's a thing I have.
I don't know, it's a gift. Wow.

266
00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:45,404
Come on. I've been helping
Lesley get off book for a month.

267
00:14:45,640 --> 00:14:48,041
These lines are right here.
That makes sense.

268
00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:49,970
That's good.
Give me my cue again.

269
00:14:50,240 --> 00:14:52,720
I'm the wrong person to ask.
I didn't actually know him.

270
00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:55,725
I only heard his name
mentioned in passing.

271
00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:58,406
You never know the particulars.
I think what...

272
00:14:58,640 --> 00:15:00,483
Can I make a suggestion?

273
00:15:00,560 --> 00:15:02,244
Do you mind? No, not at all.

274
00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:06,087
No, no, forget that.
Just stay with me.

275
00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:10,086
"I'm the wrong person to ask,"
he says, but what's the intention?

276
00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:12,243
Is he fed up with the subject?

277
00:15:12,320 --> 00:15:14,004
Deflecting guilt
over the marriage?

278
00:15:14,240 --> 00:15:16,447
And here's the thing...
you have four lines after that

279
00:15:16,560 --> 00:15:19,245
that all say the same thing.
"I didn't know him."

280
00:15:19,600 --> 00:15:21,807
"I only heard his name
mentioned in passing."

281
00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:23,086
"I wouldn't know."

282
00:15:23,320 --> 00:15:24,765
"You'd have to know
the particulars."

283
00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:27,002
"Particulars" sounds
like my grandmother.

284
00:15:27,280 --> 00:15:30,921
The point is, you don't know the guy.
We fucking get it.

285
00:15:31,280 --> 00:15:32,611
Make it work with one line.

286
00:15:32,680 --> 00:15:34,762
"I didn't even know
the man." Right?

287
00:15:35,120 --> 00:15:37,930
Wait... You know
my lines, too, huh?

288
00:15:38,280 --> 00:15:40,442
Can we not get hung
up on knowing lines?

289
00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:42,602
Can we just work on this?
Tear it apart?

290
00:15:42,840 --> 00:15:45,127
So why don't you just give
me that same thing again,

291
00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:47,362
but cut it down. Try it. Uh...

292
00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:48,965
I'm the wrong person to ask...

293
00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:52,124
Oh, no! That's the thing...
"I'm the wrong person to ask."

294
00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:53,201
I think it's, "Fuck you."

295
00:15:53,440 --> 00:15:55,807
"Fuck you.
Don't put me on the spot."

296
00:15:56,040 --> 00:15:58,805
"Don't make me feel
self-conscious about my marriage"

297
00:15:58,880 --> 00:16:00,882
"while my wife is sitting..."

298
00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:02,804
Right there. "...Right there."

299
00:16:03,120 --> 00:16:05,487
Can I sit down for this?
Yeah, sit. Good idea.

300
00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:09,327
So just give it to me
as a "Fuck you." Lay it on me.

301
00:16:09,640 --> 00:16:10,971
Just do it. Give it to me.

302
00:16:11,240 --> 00:16:13,561
Well, I'm thinking. Fuck me hard.
Just give it.

303
00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:14,801
Come on! Just do it!

304
00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:17,088
Hey, I'm the wrong
person to ask!

305
00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:19,083
I don't even know him.
What's your point?!

306
00:16:19,320 --> 00:16:21,288
What's my point?
Yeah, what are you saying?

307
00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:22,486
Spit it out! On! on!

308
00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:25,803
You're saying what?
You're saying love is absolute.

309
00:16:26,080 --> 00:16:27,570
Yes! Yes!

310
00:16:27,640 --> 00:16:30,769
The kind of love that I'm
talking about, it is absolute!

311
00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:32,570
<font color="#808080">(VOICE BREAKING)</font>
The kind of love that I'm talking about,

312
00:16:32,640 --> 00:16:33,846
you don't...

313
00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:37,321
you don't try to kill people.

314
00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:42,171
Yeah. Good.

315
00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:44,080
I don't know...
what do you think, boss?

316
00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:46,691
You want to do this with me?

317
00:16:47,160 --> 00:16:48,525
What do you think?

318
00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:51,445
Everybody's back.
Larry needs to see him for a fitting.

319
00:16:52,080 --> 00:16:53,286
I'll take that as a yes.

320
00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:58,365
So, who are you?

321
00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:00,921
That's Sam, my daughter. Oh.

322
00:17:01,040 --> 00:17:03,691
Wow! That's amazing.
You don't look anything like each other.

323
00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:05,046
What do you do?

324
00:17:05,360 --> 00:17:07,522
Um... She's my assistant.
Works with me.

325
00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:10,525
And does she talk and speak?

326
00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:12,291
She does. Yeah.

327
00:17:12,360 --> 00:17:15,887
She can even sit or stay or roll
over, if you have any treats.

328
00:17:16,360 --> 00:17:17,725
Welcome aboard, Mike!

329
00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:19,040
Thank you, Captain.

330
00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:22,731
Um, I'm Mike... Shiner.

331
00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:24,291
Oh, I know who you are.

332
00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:27,928
I, uh, saw you in Hothouse
at the Geffen.

333
00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:29,047
You were great.

334
00:17:29,120 --> 00:17:31,771
Oh, thank you.
Your ass is great.

335
00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:34,721
Dude. Seriously?

336
00:17:35,720 --> 00:17:37,165
<font color="#804040">MIKE</font>: That was just me...

337
00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:39,402
Larry? Larry?

338
00:17:39,880 --> 00:17:41,120
This is the theater, sweetheart.

339
00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:42,400
Don't be so self-conscious.

340
00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:43,721
He's here.

341
00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:46,241
Thank the Lord and pass
the biscuits.

342
00:17:46,320 --> 00:17:47,321
I finally have
an actor to dress.

343
00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:48,607
How are you, Larry?

344
00:17:48,680 --> 00:17:50,921
Better now you're here.
Take off your clothes.

345
00:17:53,920 --> 00:17:55,331
You're just going
to stand there?

346
00:17:55,560 --> 00:17:58,086
This is the theater, honey.
Don't be so self-conscious.

347
00:17:58,320 --> 00:18:02,325
We have to start from scratch
with less than 24 hours.

348
00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:03,931
Here. Try these...

349
00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:06,607
Holy shi...!
Where are your underpants?

350
00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:09,002
Under the bed at home, I think.

351
00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:10,161
Uh...

352
00:18:10,760 --> 00:18:13,923
No. Okay, okay.
Everything's too small.

353
00:18:14,280 --> 00:18:15,611
You're not kidding. Oh.

354
00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:17,490
<font color="#804040">LESLEY</font>: Whoa. That's nice.

355
00:18:17,560 --> 00:18:19,927
Forgive him, Larry.
Mike's like my 5-year-old son.

356
00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:21,600
Neither of them has
clean underwear.

357
00:18:21,760 --> 00:18:24,127
Or pubic hair, I imagine.

358
00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:25,680
I can alter the suit,

359
00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:28,081
but we're going to have to make
new trousers and shirts.

360
00:18:28,160 --> 00:18:29,446
And underwear.

361
00:18:30,600 --> 00:18:32,443
What are you doing?
Waiting on Larry.

362
00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:33,806
<font color="#804040">LARRY</font>: I'm finished!

363
00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:36,361
Then I'm just standing
here with my cock out.

364
00:18:36,600 --> 00:18:37,601
Well, get dressed.

365
00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:40,291
Riggan's daughter is hanging around...
she might walk in here.

366
00:18:40,640 --> 00:18:41,766
You haven't seen her.

367
00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:45,640
She's always around, watching
everyone, like Little Miss Creepy.

368
00:18:45,960 --> 00:18:48,486
I don't know if drugs fried
her brain or what...

369
00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:50,882
but I don't want her
running to her father

370
00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:52,200
saying you showed her your junk.

371
00:18:52,280 --> 00:18:54,328
Then we should ask her to leave.

372
00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:56,810
Oh, God. Really? Mmm-hmm.

373
00:18:56,880 --> 00:18:58,484
- Sammy?
- <font color="#804040">SAM</font>: It's Sam.

374
00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:00,722
Sam... Lesley.

375
00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:02,651
Listen, um, what I said...

376
00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:05,884
Oh, don't worry about it.
He's a handful, huh?

377
00:19:08,320 --> 00:19:11,403
How do you always manage to find
a new way to humiliate me?

378
00:19:11,640 --> 00:19:13,563
Oh, to be fair, you
make it really easy.

379
00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:15,171
What was she doing here?

380
00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:17,084
She brought me down. And stayed?

381
00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:19,641
Well, she is a little...
something.

382
00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:22,844
This is Broadway.
And I'm here, finally.

383
00:19:23,080 --> 00:19:25,481
Now, please, do me a favor,
I'm begging you...

384
00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:26,761
don't fuck it up!

385
00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:28,241
Lesley.

386
00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:31,729
Come here. Come here.

387
00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:33,006
<font color="#808080">(SIGHS)</font>

388
00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:36,443
<font color="#808080">(WHISPERING)</font>
Play with my balls.

389
00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:39,087
<font color="#808080">(GROANS)</font>
Don't do it. Ow! <font color="#808080">(LESLEY GRUNTING)</font>

390
00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:40,441
<font color="#804040">RIGGAN</font>: Just sign it.

391
00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:41,681
<font color="#804040">JAKE</font>: Listen...
No, you listen to me!

392
00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:42,921
I can't afford to listen to you.

393
00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:44,440
<font color="#804040">LARRY</font>: I have to go
shopping again.

394
00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:45,766
Just sew something,
you old fuck!

395
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:47,365
Give him whatever he wants!

396
00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:48,680
It's four times what we paid
what's-his-name!

397
00:19:48,920 --> 00:19:50,251
Go into the reserve.

398
00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:52,766
It's gone! We spent it
on fog and fake trees...

399
00:19:53,040 --> 00:19:54,041
It's a dream sequence.

400
00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:55,645
And dancing midgets!

401
00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:57,131
You can't say "midget" anymore.

402
00:19:57,360 --> 00:19:58,691
The reserve is gone!

403
00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:04,282
You didn't see what I just saw.

404
00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:06,722
I'm telling you, this
guy's the real deal.

405
00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:07,961
I can feel it.

406
00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:09,889
He's the actor
we've been waiting for.

407
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:11,928
Come on. Just get
the contract done.

408
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:14,480
Please, Jake.
I'll get the money.

409
00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:16,970
Okay, I'll do it.

410
00:20:18,040 --> 00:20:20,202
Stop smiling.
You're freaking me out.

411
00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:21,811
Sorry. You're right.

412
00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:25,050
Is it true? Shiner?

413
00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:26,560
Holy shit. When can I meet him?

414
00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:27,801
He's with Larry now.

415
00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:29,923
I'm going to Starbucks.
Want anything?

416
00:20:30,040 --> 00:20:31,087
I'm good.

417
00:20:31,320 --> 00:20:33,800
She has a great ass.
I have news for you, too.

418
00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:36,162
Is it good or bad?
'Cause I really...

419
00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:38,402
I missed my last two periods.
<font color="#808080">(EXHALES)</font>

420
00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:41,163
I think it's really happening.

421
00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:43,006
<font color="#808080">(SIGHS)</font>
Wow.

422
00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:45,243
Is that good or bad? Riggan!

423
00:20:45,320 --> 00:20:47,163
It's good. It's great.

424
00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:49,323
Say something else. Um...

425
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,001
Uh...

426
00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:53,764
You sure it's mine?
<font color="#808080">(CHUCKLES)</font>

427
00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:55,685
Well, you know, there's you,

428
00:20:55,760 --> 00:20:57,683
there's Jake, the masseur
wore a condom...

429
00:20:57,920 --> 00:20:59,843
yeah, I'm pretty sure it's yours.
<font color="#808080">(CHUCKLES)</font>

430
00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:01,366
Idiot.

431
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:06,207
Are you excited? Yeah.

432
00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:08,531
Me, too.

433
00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:14,523
You're not funny!

434
00:21:17,520 --> 00:21:19,887
What? Hey, what?

435
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:22,240
<font color="#808080">(BREATHING HEAVILY)</font>

436
00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:25,931
<font color="#808080">(MOANING)</font>

437
00:21:28,280 --> 00:21:29,725
<font color="#808080">(EXHALES)</font>

438
00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:35,968
<font color="#808080">(WOMAN TALKING INDISTINCTLY)</font>

439
00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:38,407
First preview tomorrow.

440
00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:41,884
Here we go.

441
00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:48,244
<font color="#804040">MIKE</font>: I rode with him
in the ambulance to the hospital.

442
00:21:48,480 --> 00:21:51,324
<font color="#804040">LESLEY</font>: I will never get
that image out of my head.

443
00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:55,406
Right before he did it, his eyes
were so sad and lonely.

444
00:21:55,640 --> 00:21:57,324
<font color="#804040">LAURA</font>: Did you
have to treat him?

445
00:21:57,400 --> 00:21:59,004
<font color="#804040">MIKE</font>: I didn't have
to, but I did.

446
00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:02,562
<font color="#804040">ANNIE</font>: Music out.
Cue 34, 35 ready.

447
00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:04,251
<font color="#804040">MIKE</font>: He was in terrible shape.

448
00:22:04,320 --> 00:22:06,766
His head swelled to twice
the size of a normal head.

449
00:22:07,080 --> 00:22:09,082
He's good, huh? He's incredible.

450
00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:11,243
I think he's drinking real gin.

451
00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:12,601
What?

452
00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:17,605
Ask Nick. I want you to ask
Nick if he thinks that's love.

453
00:22:17,840 --> 00:22:20,525
<font color="#804040">LESLEY</font>: Oh, honey, can't
we just go to dinner?

454
00:22:20,760 --> 00:22:22,603
<font color="#804040">LAURA</font>: Mel, don't
get him started.

455
00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:25,002
You don't know
how he's been lately.

456
00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:27,162
He's been depressed.
I've been worried.

457
00:22:27,440 --> 00:22:28,771
You've been what?

458
00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:34,130
Let me tell you guys something about real
love. I'll tell you something.

459
00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:36,602
We all should be ashamed

460
00:22:36,680 --> 00:22:38,603
when we talk like we know
what we're talking about...

461
00:22:38,680 --> 00:22:40,364
when we talk about love.

462
00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:42,602
Oh, for God's sake,
are you getting drunk?

463
00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:44,520
I don't have to be drunk
to say what I think.

464
00:22:44,600 --> 00:22:47,126
We're not drunk.
We're having a few drinks. Exactly.

465
00:22:47,360 --> 00:22:48,930
You've had more than a few.

466
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:50,047
What, are you counting?

467
00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:53,124
Leave her alone. If you're not
drunk, don't talk like you are.

468
00:22:53,360 --> 00:22:54,725
Shut up!

469
00:22:56,280 --> 00:22:58,521
Do me a favor.
For once in your life,

470
00:22:58,600 --> 00:23:00,648
honest to God, shut
up for a minute.

471
00:23:00,720 --> 00:23:02,131
<font color="#808080">(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)</font>

472
00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:05,645
Anyway, like I was saying...

473
00:23:06,120 --> 00:23:08,805
you want to know about real love,
there's this old couple...

474
00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:12,327
had a car wreck,
out on the interstate.

475
00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:17,644
Some drunk kid plowed
his old man's pickup...

476
00:23:18,320 --> 00:23:20,004
right into their camper.

477
00:23:20,480 --> 00:23:22,960
By the time I got
down to the hospital, this kid,

478
00:23:23,040 --> 00:23:25,486
this fucking teenager, was dead.

479
00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:29,166
So we took the old
couple up to the O.R.

480
00:23:29,480 --> 00:23:32,324
We worked like hell on them
through most of the night.

481
00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:38,005
By the time we were done
with them, we just, you know...

482
00:23:38,320 --> 00:23:41,688
wrapped them in full body casts.

483
00:23:43,680 --> 00:23:46,001
The husband, the old man...

484
00:23:47,160 --> 00:23:49,527
was depressed
for the longest time.

485
00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:51,285
Even after I said to him,

486
00:23:51,360 --> 00:23:54,762
"Your wife's going to pull
through", he was still depressed.

487
00:23:55,040 --> 00:23:56,121
<font color="#808080">(SIGHS)</font>

488
00:23:56,200 --> 00:24:00,524
So, I went up to the mouth
hole and I asked him.

489
00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:06,364
And he told me it
was because he couldn't see her...

490
00:24:07,040 --> 00:24:10,203
through the eyes.
Couldn't see his wife.

491
00:24:11,280 --> 00:24:12,884
Can you imagine?

492
00:24:13,120 --> 00:24:16,841
I'm telling you, this guy's heart
was breaking because...

493
00:24:16,920 --> 00:24:17,967
<font color="#804040">MIKE</font>: Ugh...

494
00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:21,123
he couldn't turn
his goddamn head

495
00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:22,725
and just look
at his goddamn wife.

496
00:24:23,040 --> 00:24:24,405
<font color="#804040">MIKE</font>: Shit.

497
00:24:26,040 --> 00:24:27,405
I mean, it was killing this guy.

498
00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:29,324
I am so tired of this.
Is this water?

499
00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:30,880
It was killing him.

500
00:24:31,120 --> 00:24:35,045
Did you replace my gin
with water, man?

501
00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:36,326
<font color="#808080">(GLASS SHATTERS)</font>
Oh!

502
00:24:36,400 --> 00:24:37,760
<font color="#804040">RIGGAN</font>: <font color="#808080">(WHISPERING)</font>
Mike, come on.

503
00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:39,405
"Come on," what? You're drunk.

504
00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:43,087
Yes, I'm drunk. I'm supposed to be drunk!
Why aren't you drunk?

505
00:24:43,320 --> 00:24:44,367
This is Carver!

506
00:24:44,440 --> 00:24:47,120
He left a piece of his liver
on the table each time he wrote a page!

507
00:24:47,160 --> 00:24:50,642
If I need to be drinking gin,
who the fuck are you to touch my gin?

508
00:24:50,920 --> 00:24:52,604
You fucked with the period,

509
00:24:52,720 --> 00:24:54,800
you fucked with the plot so
you'd get the best lines.

510
00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:57,320
Leave me the fucking tools that I need!
<font color="#808080">(AUDIENCE BOOING)</font>

511
00:24:57,600 --> 00:24:59,762
Oh, come on, people,
don't be so pathetic.

512
00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:02,446
Stop viewing the world
through your cell phone screen!

513
00:25:02,560 --> 00:25:03,607
Have a real experience!

514
00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:06,764
Does anybody give a shit
about the truth other than me?

515
00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:09,367
This set is fake,
the bananas are fake.

516
00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:11,011
There's nothing
in this milk carton!

517
00:25:11,600 --> 00:25:12,761
Your performance is fake.

518
00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:16,083
The only thing that's real
on this stage is this chicken.

519
00:25:16,360 --> 00:25:18,681
So I'm going to work
with the chicken.

520
00:25:18,760 --> 00:25:19,760
<font color="#808080">(SHRIEKING)</font>

521
00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:21,040
<font color="#808080">(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)</font>

522
00:25:22,120 --> 00:25:23,451
<font color="#804040">MIKE</font>: That was interesting.

523
00:25:23,600 --> 00:25:24,761
Bring the curtain down.

524
00:25:24,960 --> 00:25:26,610
That's good bird, man!

525
00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:28,965
Get him out of here!

526
00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:30,884
How do you want me to do that?

527
00:25:32,160 --> 00:25:33,207
<font color="#808080">(INDISTINCT TALKING ON TV)</font>

528
00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:34,441
Hey, wait.

529
00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:36,449
I want him gone. No!

530
00:25:36,720 --> 00:25:38,131
We cannot do that!

531
00:25:38,200 --> 00:25:39,531
Of course we can! It's our show!

532
00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:42,451
Listen to me.
No, you listen to me.

533
00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:44,563
Get him the fuck out of my play.

534
00:25:44,800 --> 00:25:47,041
It was a preview!
Nobody gives a shit!

535
00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:48,884
Nothing matters
until that old bat from

536
00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:50,962
the New York Times
comes opening night!

537
00:25:51,200 --> 00:25:52,201
We're getting rid of him.

538
00:25:52,480 --> 00:25:55,962
Shut up!
Shut up and listen to me for once!

539
00:25:56,320 --> 00:25:59,802
As soon as we announced he was taking
over, the advance doubled.

540
00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:02,247
We can't afford to lose
any more money

541
00:26:02,320 --> 00:26:03,970
and we can't afford
to lose Mike.

542
00:26:04,800 --> 00:26:08,566
This is about being respected
and validated, remember?

543
00:26:08,640 --> 00:26:09,801
That's what you told me!

544
00:26:10,160 --> 00:26:12,481
That's how you got
me into this shit!

545
00:26:12,560 --> 00:26:13,800
<font color="#808080">(SIGHS)</font>

546
00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:17,844
Now, you're the director.
Get him under control.

547
00:26:18,320 --> 00:26:19,481
<font color="#808080">(EXHALES)</font>

548
00:26:19,840 --> 00:26:21,001
Fuck.

549
00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:23,482
This isn't the '90s anymore.

550
00:26:25,160 --> 00:26:26,844
Your zipper's down.

551
00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:33,001
Fuck.

552
00:26:33,840 --> 00:26:35,365
<font color="#808080">(ZIPS PANTS)</font>

553
00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:41,685
You were really good, cabrón.

554
00:26:43,360 --> 00:26:44,691
Mmm-hmm.

555
00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:49,169
Out in front of the theater
in ten minutes!

556
00:26:49,240 --> 00:26:50,810
Don't overthink it.

557
00:26:59,120 --> 00:27:00,724
<font color="#808080">(TAP RUNNING)</font>

558
00:27:02,360 --> 00:27:05,045
<font color="#804040">SYLVIA</font>: What the hell
was going on up there?

559
00:27:06,720 --> 00:27:08,484
I didn't know you
were here tonight.

560
00:27:08,720 --> 00:27:10,882
That guy's an asshole, huh?

561
00:27:11,480 --> 00:27:12,891
What are you doing here?

562
00:27:13,120 --> 00:27:16,044
Sam and I are going to grab
a bite after she's finished.

563
00:27:16,320 --> 00:27:17,970
No, I mean here. Now.

564
00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:21,244
Well, I know how much
this means to you.

565
00:27:21,440 --> 00:27:22,487
<font color="#804040">RIGGAN</font>: Oh.

566
00:27:22,560 --> 00:27:24,881
Thanks. I appreciate that.

567
00:27:25,400 --> 00:27:26,890
So what's happening?

568
00:27:27,240 --> 00:27:28,446
With the play? You saw what.

569
00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:29,806
No. You and Sam.

570
00:27:29,880 --> 00:27:32,565
Oh, you know, it's great.

571
00:27:33,480 --> 00:27:34,561
It's the same.

572
00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:36,046
Do you talk to her?

573
00:27:36,120 --> 00:27:38,202
Yeah, we talk.

574
00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:41,484
It's just been so crazy
around here, you know?

575
00:27:41,760 --> 00:27:43,364
You understand where
her head is at.

576
00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:44,601
Of course.

577
00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:47,002
She's trying to stay away
from everything and everyone

578
00:27:47,080 --> 00:27:49,845
that got her into rehab
in the first place.

579
00:27:50,080 --> 00:27:52,447
I know. I really do. I get it.

580
00:27:52,680 --> 00:27:54,523
That's all she's had,
so she's confused.

581
00:27:54,600 --> 00:27:55,840
Yeah, I get it.

582
00:27:56,080 --> 00:27:58,447
I know you're caught
up in all this stuff, but...

583
00:27:58,520 --> 00:27:59,760
"Stuff"?
<font color="#808080">(STUTTERING)</font> Uh...

584
00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:01,770
You know what I mean.

585
00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:03,206
<font color="#808080">(SIGHS)</font>

586
00:28:03,280 --> 00:28:05,567
Riggan, you don't have to be
a great father right now.

587
00:28:05,640 --> 00:28:07,608
You just have to be one.

588
00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:09,445
Oh, sorry.

589
00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:13,610
How's that going?

590
00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:16,885
I'd rather not talk about it.

591
00:28:17,120 --> 00:28:18,451
You're drinking?

592
00:28:18,960 --> 00:28:20,450
Yeah, I'm having a beer.

593
00:28:24,280 --> 00:28:25,441
So...

594
00:28:27,280 --> 00:28:28,805
what's going on with you?

595
00:28:29,280 --> 00:28:30,645
Me? Oh...

596
00:28:31,640 --> 00:28:32,971
Nothing.

597
00:28:33,800 --> 00:28:36,121
Everything's the same, I guess.

598
00:28:38,120 --> 00:28:39,724
I'm going back to teaching.

599
00:28:39,960 --> 00:28:40,961
Oh, yeah?

600
00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:45,644
I'm thinking of refinancing
the Malibu house.

601
00:28:46,240 --> 00:28:47,571
What? I'm sorry.

602
00:28:47,800 --> 00:28:49,000
I'm thinking of refinancing...

603
00:28:49,080 --> 00:28:52,323
No, I heard you.
I just need a second.

604
00:28:53,480 --> 00:28:55,482
That's going to be Sam's house.

605
00:28:55,800 --> 00:28:58,610
Why Would you...? For this play?

606
00:28:58,680 --> 00:29:00,170
<font color="#808080">(SIGHS)</font>

607
00:29:01,160 --> 00:29:02,650
I need the money.

608
00:29:02,920 --> 00:29:05,844
Do you have any idea
how crazy that sounds?

609
00:29:06,320 --> 00:29:10,006
What do you want me to say?
My health lasted longer than the money.

610
00:29:10,080 --> 00:29:11,320
Go figure that out.

611
00:29:12,520 --> 00:29:14,170
What's going on?

612
00:29:15,320 --> 00:29:17,527
Riggan, look at me.

613
00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:19,121
Uh...

614
00:29:22,680 --> 00:29:25,001
I got a chance to do
something right.

615
00:29:28,360 --> 00:29:31,011
I got to take it. I got to.

616
00:29:32,680 --> 00:29:35,206
It's funny. I was sitting
here, waiting for you...

617
00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:38,967
and all of a sudden, I couldn't
remember why we broke up.

618
00:29:43,360 --> 00:29:46,045
You know, the last time
I flew here from L.A...

619
00:29:46,880 --> 00:29:50,202
George Clooney was sitting
two seats in front of me...

620
00:29:50,520 --> 00:29:53,729
with a nice pair of cufflinks
and that fucking chin.

621
00:29:54,120 --> 00:29:58,409
<font color="#808080">(SIGHS)</font> We ended up flying through this
really, really horrible storm.

622
00:29:58,640 --> 00:30:02,326
I mean, the plane
was rattling and shaking.

623
00:30:03,040 --> 00:30:06,408
And <font color="#808080">(CLEARS THROAT)</font> all the people
on board are, you know, crying.

624
00:30:06,720 --> 00:30:09,405
I mean, crying. Praying, right?

625
00:30:10,640 --> 00:30:12,404
I just sat there.

626
00:30:12,480 --> 00:30:14,721
They're crying, I sit there.

627
00:30:15,080 --> 00:30:17,560
And I'm thinking, "Oh, boy..."

628
00:30:17,920 --> 00:30:21,083
"...the next morning, when
Sam looks at the paper..."

629
00:30:21,560 --> 00:30:25,246
"...it's going to be Clooney's face
on the front page, not mine."

630
00:30:25,320 --> 00:30:27,561
<font color="#808080">(CHUCKLES)</font>
You know? Boom.

631
00:30:33,760 --> 00:30:35,728
Did you know Farrah Fawcett died

632
00:30:35,800 --> 00:30:38,610
the exact same day
as Michael Jackson?

633
00:30:38,840 --> 00:30:40,444
Is that crazy?

634
00:30:44,040 --> 00:30:45,405
<font color="#808080">(SNIFFLES)</font>

635
00:30:56,280 --> 00:30:57,770
Why did we break up?

636
00:30:58,040 --> 00:31:00,520
Because you threw
a kitchen knife at me...

637
00:31:00,760 --> 00:31:03,969
and an hour later, were telling
me how much you loved me.

638
00:31:04,680 --> 00:31:08,366
Just because I didn't like that ridiculous
comedy you did with Goldie Hawn...

639
00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:10,443
did not mean I did not love you.

640
00:31:10,960 --> 00:31:12,849
That's what you always do...

641
00:31:12,920 --> 00:31:15,366
you confuse love for admiration.

642
00:31:16,800 --> 00:31:18,689
It's your house...
do what you want with it.

643
00:31:18,760 --> 00:31:20,569
Just be there for our daughter.

644
00:31:20,800 --> 00:31:22,131
I will.

645
00:31:23,800 --> 00:31:25,962
You're not Farrah
Fawcett, Riggan.

646
00:31:28,400 --> 00:31:31,961
<font color="#804040">BIRDMAN</font>: <i>We should have done
that reality show... The Thomsons.</i>

647
00:31:32,080 --> 00:31:33,161
Shut up.

648
00:31:33,240 --> 00:31:34,571
<i>That would've been good.
Shut up!</i>

649
00:31:34,800 --> 00:31:39,010
<i>Crazy, druggy, wise-ass daughter,
MILF-y wife with perky tits.</i>

650
00:31:39,320 --> 00:31:41,322
<i>People would've wanted
to see that.</i>

651
00:31:41,560 --> 00:31:43,562
<i>Shut up.
More than this piece of shit.</i>

652
00:31:43,800 --> 00:31:44,847
Shut up!

653
00:31:47,840 --> 00:31:49,410
The sun bed is here.

654
00:31:49,480 --> 00:31:50,481
What does that mean?

655
00:31:50,760 --> 00:31:54,845
It means there's a sun bed out there
being delivered to in here.

656
00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:56,241
Who ordered a sun bed?

657
00:31:56,480 --> 00:31:58,050
Mike. He said
it's for his character...

658
00:31:58,120 --> 00:32:00,088
part of his process
and that shit.

659
00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:02,522
He said he has to be a redneck.

660
00:32:02,760 --> 00:32:04,444
Son of a bitch.

661
00:32:09,520 --> 00:32:10,851
Let's go. Walk.

662
00:32:11,080 --> 00:32:13,082
Where are we going?
To get you coffee.

663
00:32:13,360 --> 00:32:15,681
Did I do something to disrespect you?
Not yet.

664
00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:18,685
I have a lot riding on this play.
Oh, is that right?

665
00:32:18,920 --> 00:32:21,048
Yeah. People know
who I am, and...

666
00:32:21,280 --> 00:32:23,601
Bullshit. They don't
know you, your work.

667
00:32:23,840 --> 00:32:25,171
They know the guy
from the bird suit

668
00:32:25,240 --> 00:32:27,971
who tells coy, slightly
vomitous stories on Letterman.

669
00:32:28,200 --> 00:32:29,611
Well, I'm sorry if I'm popular.

670
00:32:29,880 --> 00:32:31,723
Popular? I don't give a shit.

671
00:32:31,960 --> 00:32:36,443
Popularity is the slutty little cousin
of prestige, my friend.

672
00:32:36,720 --> 00:32:39,121
Okay, I don't even know
what the fuck that means. Mmm.

673
00:32:39,560 --> 00:32:43,724
<font color="#804040">MIKE</font>: It means, my reputation is riding
on this, and that's worth a, a...

674
00:32:44,040 --> 00:32:47,044
A lot. A lot, exactly!
Fuck you. Yes!

675
00:32:47,280 --> 00:32:48,805
If this doesn't
work out for you,

676
00:32:48,880 --> 00:32:50,644
you fuck off back
to your studio pals...

677
00:32:50,880 --> 00:32:53,884
and dive back into that cultural
genocide you guys perpetrate.

678
00:32:54,120 --> 00:32:55,770
A douchebag's born every minute!

679
00:32:55,840 --> 00:32:58,491
That was P.T. Barnum's premise
when he invented the circus...

680
00:32:58,720 --> 00:33:02,725
and nothing has changed. You guys
know if you crank out toxic crap...

681
00:33:02,800 --> 00:33:04,928
people will line
up and pay to see it!

682
00:33:05,160 --> 00:33:07,811
But long after you're gone,
I'll be on that stage...

683
00:33:08,080 --> 00:33:09,809
earning my living,
baring my soul,

684
00:33:09,920 --> 00:33:12,400
wrestling with complex emotions,
'cause that's what we do.

685
00:33:12,640 --> 00:33:15,405
Oh, so that's what tonight
was about?

686
00:33:15,480 --> 00:33:16,840
You wrestling
with complex emotion?

687
00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:20,482
Tonight was about seeing
if it's even alive, if it can bleed.

688
00:33:20,760 --> 00:33:24,924
This isn't a backlot, Riggan, this is New
York City. This is how we do things.

689
00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:26,525
Where are you going?

690
00:33:26,920 --> 00:33:28,763
They have coffee here.

691
00:33:30,520 --> 00:33:32,090
<font color="#808080">(INDISTINCT CHATTER)</font>

692
00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:37,604
<font color="#808080">(EXHALES)</font>
Thanks, Tommy.

693
00:33:37,840 --> 00:33:39,205
They were laughing at us.

694
00:33:39,440 --> 00:33:41,920
Tonight they were laughing,
tomorrow they'll be tweeting.

695
00:33:42,040 --> 00:33:43,451
Who cares?

696
00:33:43,680 --> 00:33:45,523
These are people
who pay half price

697
00:33:45,600 --> 00:33:47,841
to watch us rehearse.
Stop caring.

698
00:33:47,960 --> 00:33:50,281
This play's a drama.
It's about...

699
00:33:50,520 --> 00:33:52,400
You don't know what the play's about.
I do know.

700
00:33:52,520 --> 00:33:55,205
No, you don't.
That's what previews are for.

701
00:33:55,440 --> 00:33:56,885
That's why they call
them previews.

702
00:33:56,960 --> 00:34:00,442
That's where you figure
out what the play is.

703
00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:04,291
Okay, look, look. Listen to me.

704
00:34:04,560 --> 00:34:07,006
You see the woman
at the end of the bar?

705
00:34:07,120 --> 00:34:09,280
The one who looks like she licked
a homeless man's ass?

706
00:34:09,400 --> 00:34:10,447
Yeah.

707
00:34:11,280 --> 00:34:15,046
All that matters is what she writes
about us in 500 words in the Times.

708
00:34:15,120 --> 00:34:17,487
That's, uh...
Tabitha Dickinson, yes.

709
00:34:17,800 --> 00:34:21,327
The only opinion that matters
in New York theater is hers.

710
00:34:21,640 --> 00:34:25,326
If she likes us, we run.
If she doesn't, we're fucked.

711
00:34:26,640 --> 00:34:28,927
She does look like she licked
a homeless guy's ass.

712
00:34:29,160 --> 00:34:30,525
Do me a favor.

713
00:34:30,600 --> 00:34:33,649
Don't get your panties in a twist
over a preview, like some rookie...

714
00:34:33,720 --> 00:34:35,404
and don't tell me
how to do my job.

715
00:34:35,640 --> 00:34:38,405
This is my town
and to be honest,

716
00:34:38,480 --> 00:34:40,040
people don't give
a shit about you here.

717
00:34:40,080 --> 00:34:42,606
- You're Riggan Thomson, right?
- <font color="#804040">MAN</font>: Sorry to interrupt.

718
00:34:42,840 --> 00:34:45,525
Would you mind having
a picture with us here?

719
00:34:46,160 --> 00:34:47,525
Would you mind?

720
00:34:47,840 --> 00:34:49,330
The button's on the bottom.

721
00:34:52,840 --> 00:34:55,366
<font color="#804040">BOY</font>: Who is this guy?
He used to be Birdman.

722
00:34:55,520 --> 00:34:57,045
<font color="#808080">(CLEARS THROAT)</font> <font color="#808080">(CAMERA
SHUTTER CLICKS)</font>

723
00:34:59,840 --> 00:35:02,525
Oh, you're such a doll. Thank you.
You're so sweet.

724
00:35:02,840 --> 00:35:04,490
Handsome. Oh.

725
00:35:04,680 --> 00:35:06,364
<font color="#804040">MAN</font>: Okay, sweetheart, come on.

726
00:35:12,360 --> 00:35:13,691
Are we good here?

727
00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:16,045
I'm going to go home.

728
00:35:17,040 --> 00:35:18,883
All right. See you tomorrow.

729
00:35:20,960 --> 00:35:22,325
<font color="#804040">MIKE</font>: Oh...

730
00:35:23,040 --> 00:35:24,724
I want to know something.

731
00:35:25,720 --> 00:35:27,370
Why Raymond Carver?

732
00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:34,884
I was a kid, in high school...

733
00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:38,727
doing a play in Syracuse,
and he was in the audience.

734
00:35:39,040 --> 00:35:42,408
<font color="#808080">(CLEARS THROAT)</font>
And he sent this back afterwards.

735
00:35:44,560 --> 00:35:45,561
A little note.

736
00:35:45,640 --> 00:35:49,087
"Thank you for an honest performance.
Ray Carver."

737
00:35:51,080 --> 00:35:54,721
That's when I knew
I was going to be an actor.

738
00:35:54,840 --> 00:35:55,921
Right there.

739
00:35:56,400 --> 00:35:57,890
<font color="#808080">(SCOFFS)</font>

740
00:35:58,960 --> 00:36:00,166
Oh.

741
00:36:00,400 --> 00:36:01,765
What's so funny?

742
00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:04,002
It's just on a cocktail napkin.

743
00:36:04,240 --> 00:36:05,401
So?

744
00:36:06,080 --> 00:36:08,082
He was fucking drunk, man.

745
00:36:11,400 --> 00:36:13,243
<font color="#804040">TABITHA</font>: You headed
to Hollywood, Mike?

746
00:36:13,600 --> 00:36:14,761
<font color="#804040">MIKE</font>: No.

747
00:36:16,080 --> 00:36:18,447
Hollywood's heading here, Tabby.

748
00:36:18,680 --> 00:36:20,603
Good luck with that.

749
00:36:21,360 --> 00:36:23,522
"A man becomes a critic"

750
00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:24,931
"when he cannot be an artist..."

751
00:36:25,200 --> 00:36:29,046
"...the same way a man becomes an informer
when he cannot be a soldier."

752
00:36:29,600 --> 00:36:30,931
That's Flaubert, right?

753
00:36:31,280 --> 00:36:34,443
He's a Hollywood clown
in a Lycra bird suit.

754
00:36:34,760 --> 00:36:36,410
Yes, he is.

755
00:36:36,480 --> 00:36:37,766
But tomorrow night at 8:00...

756
00:36:38,040 --> 00:36:40,805
he's going out on that stage
and risking everything.

757
00:36:41,440 --> 00:36:42,965
What will you be doing?

758
00:36:44,360 --> 00:36:47,364
Don't you ever worry
that I'll give you a bad review?

759
00:36:47,960 --> 00:36:49,450
I'm sure you will...

760
00:36:49,800 --> 00:36:52,121
if I ever give you
a bad performance.

761
00:36:53,480 --> 00:36:54,811
Miss Dickinson.

762
00:36:55,120 --> 00:36:56,804
Mr. Shiner.

763
00:37:12,920 --> 00:37:14,160
<font color="#808080">(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)</font>

764
00:37:22,160 --> 00:37:24,242
<font color="#808080">(MAN YELLING INDISTINCTLY)</font>

765
00:37:26,440 --> 00:37:28,204
<font color="#808080">(MAN YELLING IN SPANISH)</font>

766
00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:57,365
<font color="#808080">(EXHALES)</font>

767
00:38:08,720 --> 00:38:10,210
What are you still doing here?

768
00:38:10,440 --> 00:38:11,646
Nothing.

769
00:38:12,560 --> 00:38:16,201
Um, your costumes are hanging
in your dressing room.

770
00:38:16,560 --> 00:38:17,891
Oh, great. Great.

771
00:38:18,120 --> 00:38:20,566
Oh, I got that coconut
water you wanted.

772
00:38:20,880 --> 00:38:23,087
If you want the face stuff,
it's not open till tomorrow.

773
00:38:23,160 --> 00:38:24,207
What?

774
00:38:24,400 --> 00:38:25,640
Uh...

775
00:38:25,880 --> 00:38:28,724
I'm not sure
that I said thank you.

776
00:38:29,160 --> 00:38:30,161
For what?

777
00:38:30,400 --> 00:38:34,405
Everything. You've been doing a really
good job, honestly.

778
00:38:34,640 --> 00:38:37,803
I've been so preoccupied
with all the...

779
00:38:39,560 --> 00:38:43,087
Okay, well, I just
wanted to say that.

780
00:38:43,240 --> 00:38:44,810
<font color="#808080">(SAM CLEARS THROAT)</font>

781
00:38:46,120 --> 00:38:47,326
<font color="#808080">(SIGHS)</font>

782
00:38:47,400 --> 00:38:48,765
<font color="#808080">(SNIFFS)</font>
What is that?

783
00:38:49,760 --> 00:38:51,091
That smell.

784
00:38:51,760 --> 00:38:53,922
What is it? Look at me.
Look at me!

785
00:38:54,160 --> 00:38:55,161
<i>What? What?</i>

786
00:38:55,400 --> 00:38:58,768
You've got to be shitting me.
Where is it?

787
00:38:59,760 --> 00:39:01,762
<font color="#804040">SAM</font>: Can we not do this, please?

788
00:39:02,240 --> 00:39:03,241
Dad?

789
00:39:03,600 --> 00:39:06,285
Where is it?
I can't believe this.

790
00:39:06,400 --> 00:39:07,811
Ugh.

791
00:39:09,280 --> 00:39:10,691
What is this?

792
00:39:10,760 --> 00:39:12,125
Chunky peanut butter.

793
00:39:12,920 --> 00:39:15,127
This. This. What is that? Ah.

794
00:39:16,600 --> 00:39:18,602
That's pot. Relax.

795
00:39:18,960 --> 00:39:21,440
"Relax." You can't do this to me.
To you?

796
00:39:21,680 --> 00:39:23,364
You know what I'm talking about.

797
00:39:23,600 --> 00:39:25,284
Oh, yeah, you! What else is new?

798
00:39:25,440 --> 00:39:27,640
Don't do that thing where you...
Make it about me? Never!

799
00:39:27,680 --> 00:39:29,364
I'm trying to do
something important!

800
00:39:29,600 --> 00:39:30,726
This is not important!

801
00:39:30,800 --> 00:39:32,131
It's important to me!

802
00:39:32,440 --> 00:39:35,046
Maybe not to you
or your cynical friends

803
00:39:35,120 --> 00:39:37,441
whose only ambition
is to "go viral"...

804
00:39:37,800 --> 00:39:41,805
but to me...
God, this is my career!

805
00:39:42,480 --> 00:39:44,960
It's my chance to finally do
work that means something.

806
00:39:45,200 --> 00:39:47,202
That means something to who?

807
00:39:47,480 --> 00:39:50,484
You had a career, Dad,
before the third comic book movie.

808
00:39:50,800 --> 00:39:53,963
Before people started to forget
who was inside that bird costume.

809
00:39:54,240 --> 00:39:57,801
You are doing a play based
on a book written 60 years ago...

810
00:39:58,080 --> 00:40:00,242
for a thousand rich
old white people...

811
00:40:00,320 --> 00:40:03,642
whose only concern is where to have
cake and coffee afterwards!

812
00:40:04,080 --> 00:40:06,401
Nobody gives a shit but you!

813
00:40:06,640 --> 00:40:09,007
And, let's face it, Dad...

814
00:40:09,240 --> 00:40:10,890
you are not doing this
for the sake of art,

815
00:40:10,960 --> 00:40:13,566
you're doing it to feel
relevant again.

816
00:40:13,840 --> 00:40:16,411
Well, guess what?
There's an entire world of people

817
00:40:16,480 --> 00:40:18,403
who fight to be relevant
every single day!

818
00:40:18,680 --> 00:40:20,523
And you act like it
doesn't exist.

819
00:40:20,760 --> 00:40:23,081
Things that are happening
in a place you ignore...

820
00:40:23,320 --> 00:40:26,529
that has already
forgotten about you!

821
00:40:26,840 --> 00:40:29,286
I mean, who the fuck are you?!

822
00:40:29,360 --> 00:40:31,522
You hate bloggers,
you mock Twitter.

823
00:40:31,760 --> 00:40:33,842
You don't even have
a Facebook page!

824
00:40:33,920 --> 00:40:35,604
It's you who doesn't exist!

825
00:40:35,840 --> 00:40:38,002
You're doing this
because you're terrified,

826
00:40:38,120 --> 00:40:40,202
like the rest of us,
that you don't matter.

827
00:40:40,440 --> 00:40:43,284
And you know what? You're right!
You don't!

828
00:40:43,520 --> 00:40:47,889
It's not important, okay?
You're not important... get used to it!

829
00:41:06,720 --> 00:41:07,881
Dad.

830
00:41:16,000 --> 00:41:17,525
<font color="#808080">(SAM SIGHING)</font>

831
00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:39,411
<font color="#808080">(LIGHTER CLICKS)</font>

832
00:41:49,920 --> 00:41:51,251
<font color="#808080">(EXHALES)</font>

833
00:41:57,840 --> 00:41:59,126
<font color="#808080">(GROANS)</font>

834
00:42:04,400 --> 00:42:05,606
<font color="#808080">(PUFFS)</font>

835
00:42:12,120 --> 00:42:16,125
<font color="#804040">LAURA</font>: In the clays before Nick's depression
started to eat away at him...

836
00:42:16,360 --> 00:42:17,725
he never knew I was pregnant,

837
00:42:17,800 --> 00:42:20,121
and I never intended
to tell him.

838
00:42:20,960 --> 00:42:22,689
I guess we make choices in life,

839
00:42:22,760 --> 00:42:25,127
and we choose to live with them.

840
00:42:26,120 --> 00:42:27,485
Or not.

841
00:42:28,480 --> 00:42:30,289
I didn't want that baby.

842
00:42:30,960 --> 00:42:32,724
Not because I didn't love Nick,

843
00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:35,121
and not because I didn't
love the idea of it...

844
00:42:35,640 --> 00:42:38,803
but just because I wasn't
ready to love myself.

845
00:42:40,480 --> 00:42:42,323
There's a distance
to it all now.

846
00:42:42,640 --> 00:42:46,008
A wistful distance, underscored
by a gentle breeze...

847
00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:47,440
<font color="#804040">ANNIE</font>: Actors in position.

848
00:42:47,560 --> 00:42:48,641
<font color="#804040">LAURA</font>: And the sound of birds...

849
00:42:48,920 --> 00:42:49,967
<font color="#804040">ANNIE</font>: Music out.

850
00:42:50,040 --> 00:42:52,088
Laughing at the whimsy
of it all.

851
00:42:52,480 --> 00:42:54,164
Lesley? What?

852
00:42:54,480 --> 00:42:56,084
I think I'm hard.

853
00:42:56,320 --> 00:42:59,767
No, it's just sometimes you don't
consider other people's feelings.

854
00:43:00,000 --> 00:43:02,401
No, no. I'm getting hard...
feel that.

855
00:43:02,480 --> 00:43:04,847
<font color="#808080">(SQUEALING)</font>
What?! You've got to be kidding.

856
00:43:05,080 --> 00:43:06,280
Let's really do it. Let's fuck.

857
00:43:06,320 --> 00:43:07,401
No, are you crazy?!
<font color="#808080">(THUNDER CLAPPING)</font>

858
00:43:07,680 --> 00:43:09,330
It'll be incredible!
It'll be real.

859
00:43:09,600 --> 00:43:11,921
Cut it out! I'm serious, Mike.

860
00:43:12,160 --> 00:43:14,527
Don't call me Mike. Call me Mel.
<font color="#808080">(THUNDER RUMBLING)</font>

861
00:43:14,840 --> 00:43:16,171
Get off!
<font color="#808080">(BANGING ON DOOR)</font>

862
00:43:16,520 --> 00:43:18,522
<font color="#804040">RIGGAN</font>: Terri! Terri!

863
00:43:18,720 --> 00:43:19,767
<font color="#808080">(GRUNTING)</font>

864
00:43:19,840 --> 00:43:21,524
<font color="#804040">RIGGAN</font>: Terri, I know
you're in there!

865
00:43:21,840 --> 00:43:23,842
Get off me! Get off!
<font color="#808080">(KNOCKS OFF DOOR)</font>

866
00:43:23,960 --> 00:43:25,371
<font color="#808080">(MIKE GRUNTING)</font>

867
00:43:25,440 --> 00:43:26,771
- Ed?
- <font color="#804040">RIGGAN</font>: Why?

868
00:43:27,040 --> 00:43:29,042
What are you doing here?
Just tell me why.

869
00:43:29,360 --> 00:43:31,362
Take it easy, okay? I know this is hard.
<font color="#808080">(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)</font>

870
00:43:31,600 --> 00:43:33,443
Shut up! Shut...

871
00:43:34,200 --> 00:43:36,362
Shut up! Just don't
do anything stupid.

872
00:43:37,680 --> 00:43:39,205
Eddie, please!

873
00:43:39,880 --> 00:43:44,363
What's the matter with me? Why do
I always have to beg people to love me?

874
00:43:44,720 --> 00:43:46,882
Eddie, please, give me the gun.

875
00:43:47,200 --> 00:43:48,565
<font color="#808080">(VOICE BREAKING)</font>
Look at me.

876
00:43:48,880 --> 00:43:52,043
I was drowning.
I'm just not capable of...

877
00:43:53,040 --> 00:43:57,045
You deserve to be loved, Eddie.
You do.

878
00:43:57,400 --> 00:43:59,562
I just wanted to be
what you wanted.

879
00:43:59,880 --> 00:44:01,644
Now I spend every fucking
minute praying

880
00:44:01,720 --> 00:44:04,246
to be somebody else.
Somebody I'm not!

881
00:44:04,560 --> 00:44:05,721
Anybody-

882
00:44:06,400 --> 00:44:09,563
Just put the gun down, Ed.
She doesn't love you anymore.

883
00:44:10,240 --> 00:44:11,571
<font color="#804040">RIGGAN</font>: You don't, do you?

884
00:44:11,880 --> 00:44:13,086
No.

885
00:44:14,920 --> 00:44:16,251
And you never will.

886
00:44:16,560 --> 00:44:18,244
<font color="#804040">LESLEY</font>: I'm sorry.

887
00:44:20,400 --> 00:44:22,243
I don't exist.

888
00:44:24,560 --> 00:44:26,085
I'm not even here.

889
00:44:27,400 --> 00:44:31,610
None of this even matters. I don't exist.
I don't exist.

890
00:44:33,240 --> 00:44:35,242
<font color="#804040">MIKE</font>: Ed... I don't exist.

891
00:44:35,600 --> 00:44:37,762
Ed! Eddie, Eddie, don't do that!
<font color="#808080">(GUNSHOT)</font>

892
00:44:38,240 --> 00:44:39,765
<font color="#808080">(AUDIENCE SCREAMING)</font>

893
00:44:41,840 --> 00:44:43,251
<font color="#808080">(APPLAUSE)</font>

894
00:44:47,120 --> 00:44:48,770
<font color="#804040">LESLEY</font>: You're such an asshole!

895
00:44:49,120 --> 00:44:50,680
<font color="#804040">MIKE</font>: What?
That's the best you've been.

896
00:44:50,840 --> 00:44:53,286
<font color="#804040">LESLEY</font>: Why would you do that?!
We were onstage!

897
00:44:53,520 --> 00:44:56,205
<font color="#804040">RIGGAN</font>: What the fuck?!
It's like my head was a jar of Bolognese!

898
00:44:56,440 --> 00:44:58,124
I'll fix the blood rig.

899
00:44:58,440 --> 00:45:00,283
They're fucking in a motel room.

900
00:45:00,600 --> 00:45:02,045
You can't get it
up in six months

901
00:45:02,120 --> 00:45:03,804
and now you want to fuck me
in front of 800 strangers?!

902
00:45:04,040 --> 00:45:07,123
I need it to feel real, okay?
I need that intensity.

903
00:45:07,440 --> 00:45:09,442
Oh, fuck you! Oh.

904
00:45:11,800 --> 00:45:14,041
I was in the moment.
I thought you were, too.

905
00:45:14,120 --> 00:45:15,485
I'm sorry.
<font color="#808080">(APPLAUSE)</font>

906
00:45:15,800 --> 00:45:18,644
I told you to stop,
you fucking animal.

907
00:45:19,560 --> 00:45:21,210
You were brilliant.
<font color="#808080">(AUDIENCE CHEERING)</font>

908
00:45:21,480 --> 00:45:23,482
What is wrong with you?!

909
00:45:23,600 --> 00:45:24,965
<font color="#808080">(AUDIENCE CHEERING)</font>

910
00:45:32,400 --> 00:45:33,811
<font color="#808080">(LAURA CHUCKLES)</font>

911
00:45:42,480 --> 00:45:44,847
I want your shit
out of the apartment.

912
00:45:45,160 --> 00:45:49,006
What? Hey, no, wait. Look, look, I'm sorry.
Can we just...

913
00:45:49,320 --> 00:45:52,847
No, we can't, Mike!
Maybe up here, you're Mr. Truth...

914
00:45:53,160 --> 00:45:55,925
but in the real world, where it
counts, you're a fucking fraud!

915
00:45:56,000 --> 00:45:58,162
How's that for truth, you dick?!

916
00:45:59,360 --> 00:46:01,362
<font color="#804040">LAURA</font>: What's wrong?
He's an asshole.

917
00:46:01,440 --> 00:46:02,487
What'd he do now?

918
00:46:02,640 --> 00:46:04,768
Oh, nothing, just try to fuck
me in front of the audience!

919
00:46:04,840 --> 00:46:06,205
Oh, my God! Right?

920
00:46:06,440 --> 00:46:07,771
That's kind of hot!

921
00:46:10,040 --> 00:46:11,530
<font color="#808080">(SOBS)</font>

922
00:46:11,720 --> 00:46:12,846
<font color="#808080">(GRUNTS)</font>

923
00:46:13,200 --> 00:46:16,044
Why don't I have
any self-respect?!

924
00:46:16,360 --> 00:46:18,362
You're an actress, honey.

925
00:46:18,680 --> 00:46:20,364
I'm pathetic!

926
00:46:20,680 --> 00:46:22,045
<font color="#808080">(SIGHS)</font>

927
00:46:22,520 --> 00:46:23,885
Look at me.

928
00:46:25,120 --> 00:46:26,201
<font color="#808080">(SNIFFLES)</font>

929
00:46:28,200 --> 00:46:32,569
You know, I've always dreamed
of being a Broadway actress...

930
00:46:33,200 --> 00:46:36,363
since I was a little kid.
And now I'm here, and I'm...

931
00:46:36,720 --> 00:46:38,688
I'm not a Broadway actress,

932
00:46:38,760 --> 00:46:41,411
I'm still just a little kid.

933
00:46:43,880 --> 00:46:47,726
And I keep waiting for someone
to tell me I made it.

934
00:46:49,720 --> 00:46:51,404
You made it.
<font color="#808080">(SNIFFLES)</font>

935
00:46:53,240 --> 00:46:54,571
I did?

936
00:46:55,400 --> 00:46:59,166
Sadly, it was with Mike Shiner on a fake
motel bed in front of 800 people.

937
00:46:59,400 --> 00:47:00,731
<font color="#808080">(LAUGHING)</font>
Shut up. Oh.

938
00:47:02,880 --> 00:47:04,405
<font color="#808080">(KNOCKING ON DOOR)</font>

939
00:47:05,920 --> 00:47:07,160
<font color="#804040">RIGGAN</font>: Hey, is she okay?

940
00:47:07,240 --> 00:47:08,765
She'll be fine.

941
00:47:10,760 --> 00:47:14,242
Look, none of this
is your fault, okay?

942
00:47:15,080 --> 00:47:18,402
You're beautiful
and you're talented...

943
00:47:19,440 --> 00:47:21,442
and I'm lucky to have you.

944
00:47:22,360 --> 00:47:23,521
Okay?

945
00:47:24,080 --> 00:47:25,445
Okay.

946
00:47:25,720 --> 00:47:27,006
<font color="#808080">(SIGHS)</font>

947
00:47:34,440 --> 00:47:35,851
<font color="#808080">(SIGHS)</font>

948
00:47:36,440 --> 00:47:38,602
That was kind of sweet.

949
00:47:38,960 --> 00:47:40,121
Yeah.

950
00:47:42,360 --> 00:47:43,691
What's wrong?

951
00:47:44,600 --> 00:47:48,810
Nothing. Two years, and he's never
said anything like that to me.

952
00:47:53,120 --> 00:47:55,805
You're beautiful
and you're talented...

953
00:47:56,120 --> 00:47:59,647
and I'm lucky to have you. Okay?

954
00:47:59,960 --> 00:48:01,485
We're gross.

955
00:48:01,720 --> 00:48:03,051
<font color="#808080">(LAUGHING)</font>
We are.

956
00:48:08,520 --> 00:48:09,931
<font color="#808080">(SIGHS)</font>

957
00:48:13,640 --> 00:48:15,642
What are you doing? Nothing.

958
00:48:25,000 --> 00:48:26,490
Do it again.

959
00:48:30,280 --> 00:48:31,520
<font color="#808080">(MOANING)</font>

960
00:48:33,840 --> 00:48:36,411
<font color="#804040">MIKE</font>: Can we discuss this
like two mature artists?

961
00:48:36,480 --> 00:48:38,005
What is the big deal about...

962
00:48:38,320 --> 00:48:39,685
<font color="#804040">LESLEY</font>: Fuck you!

963
00:48:42,840 --> 00:48:45,525
You're not ready yet.
That's fine.

964
00:48:47,840 --> 00:48:48,841
<i>Hmm.</i>

965
00:48:52,160 --> 00:48:54,003
Fuck. Actresses.

966
00:48:54,360 --> 00:48:56,522
They drive me fucking crazy.

967
00:48:57,840 --> 00:48:59,046
Riggan?

968
00:49:01,200 --> 00:49:05,205
Your gun is ridiculous.
I can see the red plug in the barrel...

969
00:49:05,440 --> 00:49:09,286
so you look like a kid with a plastic
toy when you point it at me.

970
00:49:09,520 --> 00:49:12,524
I don't feel threatened at all.

971
00:49:13,520 --> 00:49:15,443
Get a better one.
Have some self-respect.

972
00:49:15,520 --> 00:49:16,521
Please.

973
00:49:18,520 --> 00:49:21,046
Hey, apart from that, uh...

974
00:49:21,560 --> 00:49:24,040
I thought it was a pretty
fun crowd, huh?

975
00:49:32,720 --> 00:49:34,245
<font color="#808080">(LIGHTER CLICKS)</font>

976
00:49:44,720 --> 00:49:46,722
I don't think it's high enough.

977
00:49:49,240 --> 00:49:50,571
Me, neither.

978
00:49:52,400 --> 00:49:53,925
What are you doing up here?

979
00:49:54,760 --> 00:49:56,410
Uh, adrenaline.

980
00:49:57,160 --> 00:50:01,484
I just got out of rehab.
It's the closest thing I get to a drug.

981
00:50:01,920 --> 00:50:03,524
You went to rehab?

982
00:50:05,160 --> 00:50:06,321
Cool.

983
00:50:07,080 --> 00:50:09,048
It wasn't all Dr.
Drew or anything,

984
00:50:09,120 --> 00:50:12,090
but that dude from American
<i>Pie</i> was there.

985
00:50:12,360 --> 00:50:13,361
<font color="#804040">MAN</font>: Jump!

986
00:50:13,600 --> 00:50:14,931
Eat me!

987
00:50:15,280 --> 00:50:17,442
<font color="#804040">MAN</font>: Okay, then jump on my face!
<font color="#808080">(LAUGHING)</font>

988
00:50:18,280 --> 00:50:20,123
I love this city.

989
00:50:20,760 --> 00:50:21,921
Yeah?

990
00:50:24,920 --> 00:50:28,049
Why do you act
like a click all the time?

991
00:50:28,120 --> 00:50:29,963
Do you just do it
to antagonize people?

992
00:50:31,440 --> 00:50:32,805
Maybe.

993
00:50:33,120 --> 00:50:36,044
You really don't give a shit
if people like you or not.

994
00:50:37,280 --> 00:50:38,611
Not really.

995
00:50:39,640 --> 00:50:41,130
That's cool.

996
00:50:41,440 --> 00:50:44,125
Is it? I don't know.

997
00:50:47,960 --> 00:50:48,961
What?

998
00:50:49,280 --> 00:50:50,566
Let's play a game.

999
00:50:50,640 --> 00:50:52,642
A game? What are you, eight?
Mmm-hmm.

1000
00:50:52,960 --> 00:50:54,644
What are you, 78?

1001
00:50:55,120 --> 00:50:56,963
Truth or dare. Oh, come on.

1002
00:50:57,240 --> 00:50:58,890
Truth or dare? Oh.

1003
00:51:00,160 --> 00:51:01,321
Truth.

1004
00:51:03,640 --> 00:51:08,328
When we first met, you made
a comment about my ass.

1005
00:51:09,000 --> 00:51:10,490
Why did you do that?

1006
00:51:12,320 --> 00:51:16,325
You have a terrific ass,
and I noticed that.

1007
00:51:16,840 --> 00:51:18,842
And I just commented on it.

1008
00:51:20,680 --> 00:51:22,682
Truth or dare? Dare.

1009
00:51:23,000 --> 00:51:24,684
Really? Yeah.

1010
00:51:28,320 --> 00:51:31,608
There's a bald guy and he's going
to walk right under you.

1011
00:51:31,680 --> 00:51:33,011
Spit on his head.

1012
00:51:33,360 --> 00:51:35,010
No. You said dare.

1013
00:51:35,240 --> 00:51:37,766
Truth. No, it's too late.

1014
00:51:39,960 --> 00:51:41,200
<i><font color="#808080">(HUFFS)</font></i>

1015
00:51:43,000 --> 00:51:44,001
<font color="#808080">(SPITS)</font>

1016
00:51:45,200 --> 00:51:46,645
Happy? Yeah.

1017
00:51:46,720 --> 00:51:48,848
<font color="#804040">MAN</font>: Ew!
<font color="#808080">(BOTH LAUGHING)</font>

1018
00:51:50,680 --> 00:51:52,045
Truth or dare?

1019
00:51:52,360 --> 00:51:54,203
Truth. You're boring.

1020
00:51:54,440 --> 00:51:56,442
The truth is always interesting.

1021
00:51:58,200 --> 00:51:59,531
Uh...

1022
00:52:01,040 --> 00:52:03,042
You want to fool around with me?

1023
00:52:04,200 --> 00:52:05,201
No.

1024
00:52:06,200 --> 00:52:07,361
Really?

1025
00:52:08,280 --> 00:52:09,281
Why not?

1026
00:52:09,560 --> 00:52:12,564
That's a second question.
It's a second part.

1027
00:52:13,960 --> 00:52:15,086
<font color="#808080">(SIGHS)</font>

1028
00:52:15,720 --> 00:52:17,722
I'd be afraid
I couldn't get it up.

1029
00:52:21,560 --> 00:52:25,042
That didn't seem to be
a problem for you onstage.

1030
00:52:27,160 --> 00:52:30,721
Nothing is a problem
for me onstage.

1031
00:52:32,240 --> 00:52:33,969
I want to ask another question.

1032
00:52:34,040 --> 00:52:35,087
You already did.

1033
00:52:35,320 --> 00:52:37,402
One more. Go ahead.

1034
00:52:39,080 --> 00:52:43,404
If you weren't afraid,
what would you want to do to me?

1035
00:52:47,800 --> 00:52:49,006
<font color="#808080">(EXHALES)</font>

1036
00:52:49,080 --> 00:52:51,401
I'd pull your eyes
out of your head...

1037
00:52:52,080 --> 00:52:53,445
That's sweet.

1038
00:52:53,680 --> 00:52:55,444
And put them in my own skull...

1039
00:52:56,080 --> 00:52:58,811
and look around, so
I could see the street

1040
00:52:58,880 --> 00:53:00,769
the way I used to when
I was your age.

1041
00:53:14,120 --> 00:53:15,360
Good night.

1042
00:53:37,520 --> 00:53:39,170
<font color="#808080">(BIRDS CHIRPING)</font>

1043
00:53:43,120 --> 00:53:45,043
<font color="#808080">(INDISTINCT YELLING)</font>

1044
00:53:59,840 --> 00:54:01,205
<font color="#808080">(DOOR OPENS)</font>

1045
00:54:03,840 --> 00:54:05,365
<font color="#808080">(DOOR CLOSES)</font>

1046
00:54:08,000 --> 00:54:10,002
<font color="#804040">LAURA</font>: Don't kill the messenger.

1047
00:54:11,160 --> 00:54:12,844
He's an asshole.

1048
00:54:14,680 --> 00:54:15,681
<font color="#804040">BIRDMAN</font>: <i>I told you.</i>

1049
00:54:15,840 --> 00:54:17,330
You fucking prick.

1050
00:54:17,600 --> 00:54:18,931
<i>He's playing you-</i>

1051
00:54:19,160 --> 00:54:20,446
This is it?

1052
00:54:22,000 --> 00:54:23,843
Page 12. Page 12.

1053
00:54:26,520 --> 00:54:28,966
"Riggan Thomson, best known
as the face of Birdman,"

1054
00:54:29,040 --> 00:54:31,520
"tries not to lay
an egg on Broadway."

1055
00:54:31,760 --> 00:54:34,127
Where's the rest of it?
There is no rest of it.

1056
00:54:34,760 --> 00:54:37,286
Don't worry... it'll be used
to scoop up dog shit tomorrow.

1057
00:54:37,520 --> 00:54:39,170
How can you be so calm?

1058
00:54:39,240 --> 00:54:40,526
What are my other choices?

1059
00:54:40,760 --> 00:54:43,127
Aren't you scared at all?
About what?

1060
00:54:43,360 --> 00:54:45,044
About being
humiliated out there!

1061
00:54:45,280 --> 00:54:47,600
<font color="#808080">(LAUGHING)</font> it won't be the first
time I've been humiliated.

1062
00:54:47,720 --> 00:54:49,290
Well, of course it won't.

1063
00:54:53,040 --> 00:54:54,565
You're an asshole.

1064
00:54:59,560 --> 00:55:00,721
<font color="#808080">(DOOR OPENS)</font>

1065
00:55:01,880 --> 00:55:03,166
And by the way,
I'm not pregnant,

1066
00:55:03,240 --> 00:55:05,641
so there's one thing
not to worry about.

1067
00:55:05,880 --> 00:55:07,166
<font color="#808080">(DOOR CLOSES)</font>

1068
00:55:09,240 --> 00:55:11,049
<font color="#804040">BIRDMAN</font>: <i>Forget about her.</i>

1069
00:55:11,720 --> 00:55:13,688
<i>He stole your front page.</i>

1070
00:55:13,760 --> 00:55:16,730
<i>He's stealing your show.
He thinks you're a joke.</i>

1071
00:55:18,240 --> 00:55:20,720
<i>Now two million people
agree with him.</i>

1072
00:55:21,000 --> 00:55:26,006
<i>Maybe you are, Riggan.
Maybe that's what you are-a joke.</i>

1073
00:55:26,440 --> 00:55:28,522
<font color="#808080">(BREATHING HEAVILY)</font>

1074
00:55:45,080 --> 00:55:47,606
Whoa! What the hell is going on?

1075
00:55:48,080 --> 00:55:49,445
Get up! Ow! That hurts!

1076
00:55:49,680 --> 00:55:51,011
Get up! Back away!

1077
00:55:51,280 --> 00:55:53,160
So Carver's the reason you
became an actor, huh?

1078
00:55:53,280 --> 00:55:55,123
Listen, this is my fucking show.

1079
00:55:55,440 --> 00:55:58,603
I did the work, I raised the money
and I arrange the press!

1080
00:55:58,840 --> 00:56:02,890
Oh, Jesus.
They called me for an interview.

1081
00:56:03,120 --> 00:56:06,283
I told them the first thing
that came into my head.

1082
00:56:06,600 --> 00:56:08,523
We got the cover
of the Arts section!

1083
00:56:08,600 --> 00:56:10,443
Fuck the Arts section!

1084
00:56:10,720 --> 00:56:12,484
You told them the first thing
that came into your head?

1085
00:56:12,560 --> 00:56:13,891
Right.

1086
00:56:14,120 --> 00:56:16,088
You're Mr. Natural.
Mr. Fuck-the-scene-

1087
00:56:16,160 --> 00:56:17,685
just-stare-
at-my-massive-hard-on.

1088
00:56:17,760 --> 00:56:18,760
That's truth.

1089
00:56:18,800 --> 00:56:19,881
You think it looked massive?

1090
00:56:20,120 --> 00:56:21,531
Shut the fuck up.

1091
00:56:21,600 --> 00:56:23,807
You don't get hard on my stage
unless I tell you to.

1092
00:56:24,120 --> 00:56:26,487
Your stage?
Oh, let me tell you something.

1093
00:56:26,720 --> 00:56:30,884
This stage has belonged to a lot of great
actors, but you are not one of them.

1094
00:56:31,120 --> 00:56:32,804
So you wrote your own lines, huh?
Ow!

1095
00:56:33,160 --> 00:56:34,491
I did, actually.

1096
00:56:34,640 --> 00:56:37,246
You wrote a few changes and mumbled,
you self-absorbed prick.

1097
00:56:37,400 --> 00:56:38,731
I'm self-absorbed'? Look at you.

1098
00:56:38,880 --> 00:56:40,245
You nobody piece of shit!

1099
00:56:40,480 --> 00:56:43,643
Nobody? My massive hard-on
got 50,000 views on YouTube.

1100
00:56:43,920 --> 00:56:46,571
A cat playing with a dildo
gets more than that.

1101
00:56:46,840 --> 00:56:48,490
I don't care. Yes, you do!
You care.

1102
00:56:48,840 --> 00:56:51,161
I'm a theater actor.
I don't give a shit. You care.

1103
00:56:51,400 --> 00:56:52,765
Everybody says, "Oh,
Mike is so honest."

1104
00:56:52,840 --> 00:56:55,571
"Mike is so motherfucking
truthful!" Ow!

1105
00:56:56,320 --> 00:56:58,891
You said in the interview your father
was a drunk like Carver.

1106
00:56:58,960 --> 00:57:00,530
Is that true?

1107
00:57:00,760 --> 00:57:02,762
No. No. 'Cause my father was.

1108
00:57:03,000 --> 00:57:06,004
My father was a mean fucking drunk.
You understand?

1109
00:57:06,240 --> 00:57:08,242
He beat the shit out of us.

1110
00:57:08,360 --> 00:57:10,283
But at least when
he was beating us...

1111
00:57:10,520 --> 00:57:14,206
he wasn't thinking about taking
us out to his toolshed.

1112
00:57:14,680 --> 00:57:16,523
Because when he got
us out there...

1113
00:57:16,840 --> 00:57:18,524
that bastard
would smile and say:

1114
00:57:18,760 --> 00:57:21,240
"You want to get on your knees
and unbuckle my belt,"

1115
00:57:21,320 --> 00:57:23,527
"or do I take it
off and use it on you?"

1116
00:57:24,040 --> 00:57:27,203
After a while, I made myself numb, so...
But my... <font color="#808080">(WHEEZING)</font>

1117
00:57:27,680 --> 00:57:29,045
My little sister...
<font color="#808080">(SOBS)</font>

1118
00:57:30,680 --> 00:57:33,729
Okay. Okay. Hey, hey, hey.
<font color="#808080">(SNIFFLES)</font>

1119
00:57:34,720 --> 00:57:36,210
Oh, God.

1120
00:57:37,200 --> 00:57:39,885
Uh, I didn't know. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.

1121
00:57:40,200 --> 00:57:43,363
That's fucking horrible, man.
I'm sorry.

1122
00:57:45,360 --> 00:57:48,807
It's also not true.
See, I can pretend, too. Oh!

1123
00:57:49,040 --> 00:57:50,565
Don't fuck with me, Mike.

1124
00:57:50,800 --> 00:57:53,406
You're a little bit crazy.
You should start using that onstage.

1125
00:57:53,640 --> 00:57:55,563
"Working with Riggan Thomson's"

1126
00:57:55,640 --> 00:57:57,165
"like Waltzing with a monkey?
Huh"

1127
00:57:57,240 --> 00:57:58,651
I might have said that.

1128
00:57:58,720 --> 00:58:00,245
You might? Come on, let's go.

1129
00:58:00,560 --> 00:58:02,164
Come on. Yeah.

1130
00:58:02,400 --> 00:58:04,641
Why don't you get your wings
and your bird suit?

1131
00:58:04,720 --> 00:58:06,563
<i><font color="#808080">(GRUNTS)</font>
<font color="#808080">(GROANS)</font> Ow!</i>

1132
00:58:08,400 --> 00:58:10,050
<font color="#808080">(BOTH GRUNTING)</font>

1133
00:58:11,520 --> 00:58:13,363
<font color="#808080">(MIKE GROANING)</font>

1134
00:58:16,320 --> 00:58:19,483
I'm gonna crab up on your ass
and fucking choke you out!

1135
00:58:19,760 --> 00:58:21,603
<font color="#804040">RIGGAN</font>: Get off me.
What are you looking at?

1136
00:58:21,840 --> 00:58:24,161
What are you going
to do, replace me?!

1137
00:58:24,240 --> 00:58:26,527
Get fucking Ryan
Gosling or some shit?!

1138
00:58:26,760 --> 00:58:29,161
What do you think my friend Tabitha
will do to you in the <i>Times,</i>

1139
00:58:29,240 --> 00:58:30,844
you fucking dilettante!
<font color="#808080">(PANTING)</font>

1140
00:58:50,440 --> 00:58:53,125
<font color="#804040">BIRDMAN</font>: <i>You are lame, Riggan...
<font color="#808080">(SIGHS)</font></i>

1141
00:58:53,440 --> 00:58:56,808
<i>rolling around with that poncy
theater fuck...</i>

1142
00:58:57,040 --> 00:59:00,044
in <i>an 800-seat
shithole like this.</i>

1143
00:59:06,800 --> 00:59:09,485
<i>Oh, you really
fucked up this time.</i>

1144
00:59:09,800 --> 00:59:13,805
<i>You destroy a genius book
with that infantile adaptation.</i>

1145
00:59:14,120 --> 00:59:18,125
<i>Now you're about to destroy
what's left of your career.</i>

1146
00:59:18,240 --> 00:59:19,241
<font color="#808080">(INHALES DEEPLY)</font>

1147
00:59:19,320 --> 00:59:20,651
<i>It's pathetic.</i>

1148
00:59:20,880 --> 00:59:22,405
Breathing in, I am calm.
<font color="#808080">(EXHALES)</font>

1149
00:59:22,640 --> 00:59:25,166
<i>Let's get the hell
out of here while we can.</i>

1150
00:59:25,480 --> 00:59:27,642
I ignore this mental formation.

1151
00:59:27,720 --> 00:59:28,801
This is a mental formation.

1152
00:59:29,080 --> 00:59:30,809
<i>Stop that shit!</i>

1153
00:59:31,160 --> 00:59:34,642
<i>I'm not</i> a <i>mental formation.
I'm you, asshole. <font color="#808080">(BREATHING HEAVILY)</font></i>

1154
00:59:35,720 --> 00:59:36,801
Leave me alone.

1155
00:59:36,880 --> 00:59:39,087
You were a movie <i>star,</i> remember?

1156
00:59:39,320 --> 00:59:41,482
<i>Pretentious, but happy.</i>
I <i>wasn't</i> happy.

1157
00:59:41,760 --> 00:59:46,402
<i>Ignorant, but charming. Now, you're
just</i> a <i>tiny, bitter cocksucker.</i>

1158
00:59:46,680 --> 00:59:48,842
I was fucking miserable.

1159
00:59:49,080 --> 00:59:52,846
<i>Yeah, but fake miserable.
Hollywood miserable.</i>

1160
00:59:53,160 --> 00:59:54,605
<i>What are you trying to prove?</i>

1161
00:59:54,680 --> 00:59:56,682
<i>You're an artist? You're not.</i>

1162
00:59:57,000 --> 00:59:58,331
Fuck you!

1163
00:59:58,400 --> 01:00:01,006
<i>No, fuck you, you coward.</i>

1164
01:00:01,360 --> 01:00:05,001
<i>We grossed billions!
You're ashamed of that? Billions!</i>

1165
01:00:05,360 --> 01:00:07,362
And billions of flies
eat shit every day!

1166
01:00:07,440 --> 01:00:09,363
So what? Does that make it good?

1167
01:00:11,360 --> 01:00:14,045
I don't know if you
noticed, but that was 1992!

1168
01:00:14,360 --> 01:00:17,364
<i>You could jump right back
into that suit, if you wanted to.</i>

1169
01:00:17,680 --> 01:00:21,366
Oh, look at me! Look at this!
Look, look, look!

1170
01:00:21,720 --> 01:00:24,041
I look like a turkey
with leukemia!

1171
01:00:24,360 --> 01:00:26,567
I'm fucking disappearing.
<font color="#808080">(PANTING)</font>

1172
01:00:27,680 --> 01:00:29,045
This is what's left!

1173
01:00:29,120 --> 01:00:31,691
<i>I'm the answer to</i> a <i>fucking
Trivial Pursuit question!</i>

1174
01:00:31,880 --> 01:00:33,450
<i>You're an imposter</i> here.

1175
01:00:33,520 --> 01:00:35,522
<i>Eventually
they will figure you out.</i>

1176
01:00:35,840 --> 01:00:38,684
What part of this don't you get?
You're dead.

1177
01:00:38,880 --> 01:00:40,120
We are not <i>dead.</i>

1178
01:00:40,240 --> 01:00:41,890
Oh, please, just stay dead.

1179
01:00:42,200 --> 01:00:43,531
We are not <i>dead.</i>

1180
01:00:43,720 --> 01:00:46,041
Stop saying "well"
There is no "we!"

1181
01:00:46,360 --> 01:00:50,081
I'm not fucking you!
I'm Riggan fucking Thomson!

1182
01:00:50,720 --> 01:00:53,405
<i>No, you're Birdman.</i>

1183
01:00:53,920 --> 01:00:58,084
<i>Because without me,
all that's left is you...</i>

1184
01:00:58,400 --> 01:01:01,244
a <i>sad, selfish,
mediocre actor...</i>

1185
01:01:01,560 --> 01:01:05,246
<i>grasping at the last
vestiges of his career.</i>

1186
01:01:07,800 --> 01:01:09,404
<font color="#808080">(GLASS SHATTERS)</font>

1187
01:01:10,760 --> 01:01:14,321
<i>What the hell did you do that for?
I liked that poster.</i>

1188
01:01:14,440 --> 01:01:15,680
<font color="#808080">(LAUGHING)</font>

1189
01:01:15,920 --> 01:01:17,445
<i>It's always "we," brother.</i>

1190
01:01:17,720 --> 01:01:21,202
<font color="#804040">RIGGAN</font>: Fuck you!
Shut the fuck up!

1191
01:01:21,440 --> 01:01:22,771
Leave me alone!

1192
01:01:26,560 --> 01:01:27,891
<font color="#808080">(SHATTERS)</font>

1193
01:01:30,760 --> 01:01:35,129
You're fucking, so fucking annoying!
Shut up!

1194
01:01:42,280 --> 01:01:43,805
Hey. What's up?

1195
01:01:44,080 --> 01:01:45,411
Um, well...

1196
01:01:46,280 --> 01:01:48,806
one hour till curtain.
Why don't you rest a bit?

1197
01:01:49,120 --> 01:01:51,691
Yeah, I'm going to lay down.
<font color="#808080">(EXHALES)</font>

1198
01:01:51,800 --> 01:01:54,280
Almost there, buddy. Last preview.
Okay. Cool.

1199
01:01:54,600 --> 01:01:55,931
How you doing? Good. Great.

1200
01:01:56,120 --> 01:01:59,602
The money came through. I just need
to transfer it into the account.

1201
01:01:59,800 --> 01:02:01,131
Good. That's terrific.

1202
01:02:01,480 --> 01:02:03,642
So... I'll go, uh, do that.

1203
01:02:03,920 --> 01:02:05,285
Thanks for stopping by.

1204
01:02:10,320 --> 01:02:12,163
You know I'm proud
of you, don't you?

1205
01:02:13,640 --> 01:02:15,324
This took balls.

1206
01:02:15,640 --> 01:02:18,007
And you did it, okay? I know.

1207
01:02:18,640 --> 01:02:21,166
I think we should
cancel the preview.

1208
01:02:22,320 --> 01:02:25,847
I'm tired, dude.
I can't do this anymore, Jake.

1209
01:02:26,840 --> 01:02:28,171
I can't.

1210
01:02:29,680 --> 01:02:30,761
<font color="#808080">(LAUGHING)</font>

1211
01:02:30,840 --> 01:02:32,444
That's a joke, right?

1212
01:02:33,520 --> 01:02:37,320
You know, I don't think this is for me.
The whole... <font color="#808080">(GROANS)</font>

1213
01:02:38,640 --> 01:02:39,641
They're laughing at me.

1214
01:02:39,840 --> 01:02:44,846
There is a three-block line
of people waiting for you.

1215
01:02:46,160 --> 01:02:49,209
<font color="#808080">(STAMMERING)</font>
It's a full house. We're sold out!

1216
01:02:50,000 --> 01:02:51,843
Really? Yes!

1217
01:02:52,200 --> 01:02:54,123
And the French
ambassador's coming.

1218
01:02:54,200 --> 01:02:57,204
The Prince of Saudi
Arabia's bringing one of his wives.

1219
01:02:57,520 --> 01:03:01,206
And I didn't want to tell you
this, but Martin Scorsees...

1220
01:03:01,880 --> 01:03:04,884
is casting his new film, and...
Don't tell anybody.

1221
01:03:05,200 --> 01:03:07,202
No, I won't. Okay?

1222
01:03:08,040 --> 01:03:09,166
Okay?

1223
01:03:09,240 --> 01:03:12,528
Okay. Yeah, yeah, I can be ready.
I can be ready.

1224
01:03:12,880 --> 01:03:14,564
Good. Thank you.

1225
01:03:15,720 --> 01:03:16,926
<font color="#808080">(RIGGAN EXHALES)</font>

1226
01:03:18,680 --> 01:03:20,011
How is he?
<font color="#808080">(DOOR CLOSES)</font>

1227
01:03:21,000 --> 01:03:22,286
He'll be fine.

1228
01:03:22,400 --> 01:03:23,686
<font color="#808080">(SIGHS)</font>
Poor creature.

1229
01:03:23,920 --> 01:03:25,604
Is it true? Scorsese?

1230
01:03:25,840 --> 01:03:28,684
Yeah. And the new Pope, too.

1231
01:03:30,200 --> 01:03:32,202
You're an asshole, Jake!

1232
01:03:32,920 --> 01:03:35,207
<font color="#808080">(WHISPERING)</font>
I'm the one keeping this afloat!

1233
01:03:38,200 --> 01:03:39,645
<font color="#808080">(SIGHS)</font>

1234
01:03:47,160 --> 01:03:48,491
<font color="#808080">(GLASS CRUNCHING)</font>

1235
01:03:54,280 --> 01:03:55,645
Are you okay?

1236
01:03:55,880 --> 01:03:57,086
<font color="#804040">RIGGAN</font>: Yeah. Yeah.

1237
01:03:57,160 --> 01:03:59,811
I think I cut my hand shaving.
<font color="#808080">(SNIFFS)</font>

1238
01:04:00,360 --> 01:04:03,569
<font color="#808080">(STAMMERING)</font>
Well, I just wanted to say... I'm sorry.

1239
01:04:03,880 --> 01:04:05,041
What for?

1240
01:04:05,120 --> 01:04:06,121
<font color="#808080">(SIGHS)</font>

1241
01:04:06,320 --> 01:04:08,049
I knew what Mike was capable of

1242
01:04:08,120 --> 01:04:09,963
and I brought him in anyway.

1243
01:04:10,240 --> 01:04:12,561
No, no, no. You did good.

1244
01:04:12,640 --> 01:04:14,244
Are you kidding? You did great.

1245
01:04:15,880 --> 01:04:19,726
Tomorrow's my first opening
night on Broadway.

1246
01:04:20,080 --> 01:04:21,605
Mine, too.
<font color="#808080">(CHUCKLES)</font>

1247
01:04:22,400 --> 01:04:26,086
And I just want to let you know
that, no matter what happens...

1248
01:04:27,240 --> 01:04:28,924
<font color="#808080">(SOFTLY)</font>...
I'm really grateful to you.

1249
01:04:29,160 --> 01:04:31,003
Oh, no, no, no. Me, too.

1250
01:04:32,080 --> 01:04:33,764
This is exciting.

1251
01:04:34,760 --> 01:04:37,764
We have a full house.
Jake just told me.

1252
01:04:39,760 --> 01:04:41,603
Yeah, it's great.

1253
01:04:49,080 --> 01:04:50,809
Oh, God.
<font color="#808080">(DOOR CLOSES)</font>

1254
01:05:10,640 --> 01:05:12,051
<font color="#808080">(LIGHTER CLICKS)</font>

1255
01:05:13,400 --> 01:05:15,050
<font color="#808080">(MAN SHOUTS INDISTINCTLY)</font>

1256
01:05:16,480 --> 01:05:19,006
For fuck's sake,
just jump already.

1257
01:05:20,320 --> 01:05:22,004
How'd you know I'd be up here?

1258
01:05:22,680 --> 01:05:26,685
Well, I didn't know,
but I kind of hoped maybe.

1259
01:05:27,840 --> 01:05:29,365
Where is Lesley?

1260
01:05:30,680 --> 01:05:33,684
Lesley? Uh, Lesley's moving on.

1261
01:05:35,200 --> 01:05:36,850
Smart girl.

1262
01:05:37,040 --> 01:05:39,884
Oh, thank you. I appreciate that support.
<font color="#808080">(CLICKS TONGUE)</font>

1263
01:05:41,080 --> 01:05:42,127
<font color="#808080">(SIGHS)</font>

1264
01:05:42,200 --> 01:05:44,202
You ready for your last preview?

1265
01:05:45,080 --> 01:05:46,081
Sure, yeah.

1266
01:05:46,360 --> 01:05:47,691
Who did that to you?

1267
01:05:48,880 --> 01:05:49,961
<font color="#808080">(SIGHS)</font>

1268
01:05:50,040 --> 01:05:52,202
Could have
been anybody, I guess.

1269
01:05:52,520 --> 01:05:53,726
<font color="#808080">(CHUCKLES)</font>
Yes.

1270
01:05:54,040 --> 01:05:56,361
I'm sort of hoping
it was Lesley.

1271
01:05:57,200 --> 01:05:59,043
It wasn't Lesley.

1272
01:06:02,560 --> 01:06:03,891
Oh, my God.
<font color="#808080">(CHUCKLES)</font>

1273
01:06:04,200 --> 01:06:06,362
Are you fucking kidding me? No.

1274
01:06:08,400 --> 01:06:10,050
Jesus Christ!

1275
01:06:11,200 --> 01:06:13,202
I think maybe I deserved it.

1276
01:06:15,240 --> 01:06:16,571
Fuck.

1277
01:06:18,240 --> 01:06:19,571
Fuck.

1278
01:06:20,880 --> 01:06:22,564
Tell me something.

1279
01:06:23,080 --> 01:06:26,402
What is the worst thing
that he did to you?

1280
01:06:26,480 --> 01:06:27,561
Seriously.

1281
01:06:27,920 --> 01:06:29,729
He was never around.

1282
01:06:30,240 --> 01:06:33,767
Yeah? I mean, so what?
That was it?

1283
01:06:34,080 --> 01:06:37,766
No. It was how he tried
to make up for it...

1284
01:06:37,960 --> 01:06:41,965
by constantly trying to convince
me that I was special.

1285
01:06:46,680 --> 01:06:48,091
<font color="#808080">(SCOFFS)</font>

1286
01:06:50,240 --> 01:06:52,083
Okay. Look.

1287
01:06:52,920 --> 01:06:54,285
Look at me.

1288
01:06:55,440 --> 01:06:57,090
He was right, though.

1289
01:06:57,760 --> 01:06:58,760
About what?

1290
01:06:58,800 --> 01:07:00,609
About your being special.

1291
01:07:02,280 --> 01:07:04,601
You've been hanging
around here...

1292
01:07:04,920 --> 01:07:06,888
trying to make
yourself invisible

1293
01:07:07,000 --> 01:07:09,446
behind this fragile
little fuck-up routine...

1294
01:07:09,760 --> 01:07:11,125
but you can't.

1295
01:07:11,600 --> 01:07:14,285
You're anything but invisible.
You're big.

1296
01:07:15,440 --> 01:07:17,124
You're kind of a great mess.

1297
01:07:17,440 --> 01:07:20,808
It's like a candle burning
at both ends, but it's beautiful.

1298
01:07:21,960 --> 01:07:25,806
No amount of booze or weed
or attitude is going to hide that.

1299
01:07:31,640 --> 01:07:36,123
I'm glad you're an actor and not
a writer, 'cause that was, like...

1300
01:07:37,640 --> 01:07:38,971
Oprah...

1301
01:07:40,320 --> 01:07:41,651
Hallmark...

1302
01:07:42,560 --> 01:07:43,891
R. Kelly bad.

1303
01:07:44,160 --> 01:07:45,491
Yeah, well, I wasn't...

1304
01:07:46,480 --> 01:07:47,606
Mmm...

1305
01:07:47,720 --> 01:07:49,245
<font color="#808080">(HORN HONKING)</font>

1306
01:07:52,880 --> 01:07:54,450
<font color="#808080">(CLEARS THROAT)</font>

1307
01:08:09,160 --> 01:08:10,161
Truth or dare?

1308
01:08:10,840 --> 01:08:13,002
Truth. No.

1309
01:08:17,520 --> 01:08:19,682
Truth. No.

1310
01:08:22,680 --> 01:08:24,011
Truth or dare?

1311
01:08:24,120 --> 01:08:25,406
<font color="#808080">(CHUCKLES)</font>

1312
01:08:33,680 --> 01:08:34,966
<font color="#808080">(DOOR CLOSES)</font>

1313
01:08:45,520 --> 01:08:47,727
<font color="#804040">MIKE</font>: Do you have any idea
where you're going?

1314
01:08:47,960 --> 01:08:49,644
Absolutely not.

1315
01:08:53,080 --> 01:08:54,809
<font color="#808080">(MAN TALKING INDISTINCTLY)</font>

1316
01:08:58,880 --> 01:09:00,564
How do you do it?

1317
01:09:01,560 --> 01:09:02,891
Do what?

1318
01:09:03,120 --> 01:09:04,565
Go out there every single night

1319
01:09:04,640 --> 01:09:07,040
and pretend to be somebody else
in front of all those people?

1320
01:09:07,080 --> 01:09:08,320
<font color="#808080">(SIGHS)</font>

1321
01:09:08,400 --> 01:09:11,244
I don't pretend out there.
I told you.

1322
01:09:11,560 --> 01:09:14,928
I pretend just about every place
else, but not out there.

1323
01:09:15,920 --> 01:09:17,206
That's a shame.

1324
01:09:17,280 --> 01:09:18,611
<font color="#808080">(SIGHS)</font>

1325
01:09:19,080 --> 01:09:20,764
What are we doing here?

1326
01:09:21,760 --> 01:09:23,091
What do you mean?

1327
01:09:24,080 --> 01:09:26,401
I mean, what are we doing here?

1328
01:09:27,800 --> 01:09:29,086
<font color="#808080">(SIGHS)</font>

1329
01:09:35,600 --> 01:09:39,764
<font color="#804040">RIGGAN</font>: By the time we got
to the hospital, the kid was dead.

1330
01:09:40,080 --> 01:09:43,926
So we took the old
couple up to the O.R.

1331
01:09:44,280 --> 01:09:47,124
We worked like hell on them...

1332
01:09:47,760 --> 01:09:49,922
through most of the night.

1333
01:09:50,920 --> 01:09:55,608
The husband, the old man,
was depressed for the longest time.

1334
01:09:55,960 --> 01:09:59,601
Even after I told him the wife would pull
through, he was still depressed.

1335
01:09:59,960 --> 01:10:04,602
So I went up to the mouth
hole and I asked him.

1336
01:10:06,440 --> 01:10:10,445
And he told me it
was because he couldn't see her...

1337
01:10:10,800 --> 01:10:13,280
the wife, through the eye holes.

1338
01:10:13,560 --> 01:10:15,210
Can you imagine?

1339
01:10:15,280 --> 01:10:17,806
I'm telling you, this
guy's heart was breaking...

1340
01:10:18,120 --> 01:10:23,126
because he couldn't turn his goddamn
head to see his goddamn wife.

1341
01:10:23,800 --> 01:10:24,801
So...

1342
01:10:25,320 --> 01:10:29,325
I guess the question we should
ask ourselves is...

1343
01:10:30,160 --> 01:10:33,801
what do we talk about when
we talk about love?

1344
01:10:35,440 --> 01:10:37,044
<font color="#808080">(AUDIENCE APPLAUDS)</font>

1345
01:10:45,840 --> 01:10:48,684
<font color="#804040">LESLEY</font>: Mel and I had
been together five years...

1346
01:10:48,920 --> 01:10:52,163
and I don't know how many times
I've heard "I love you,"

1347
01:10:52,240 --> 01:10:53,520
but it wasn't
until that night...

1348
01:10:53,680 --> 01:10:54,966
The blood rig
should be good now.

1349
01:10:55,040 --> 01:10:57,168
Be ready to go in two minutes.

1350
01:10:57,680 --> 01:10:59,330
That was amazing!

1351
01:10:59,600 --> 01:11:01,090
Yeah, good, right?
<font color="#808080">(CHUCKLING)</font>

1352
01:11:04,360 --> 01:11:05,691
It's actually going well.

1353
01:11:06,000 --> 01:11:07,206
Yeah.

1354
01:11:07,440 --> 01:11:08,680
<font color="#808080">(SIGHS)</font>

1355
01:11:10,760 --> 01:11:12,125
I think we need to talk.

1356
01:11:12,200 --> 01:11:13,440
No, no.

1357
01:11:13,840 --> 01:11:15,524
Yeah, I guess you're right...

1358
01:11:15,760 --> 01:11:18,081
but we will eventually,
because that's the only way

1359
01:11:18,160 --> 01:11:20,447
I'll get a chance
to say I'm sorry.

1360
01:11:20,880 --> 01:11:22,689
I really am sorry.

1361
01:11:23,680 --> 01:11:25,364
We'd have made great parents.
<font color="#808080">(AUDIENCE APPLAUDS)</font>

1362
01:11:25,600 --> 01:11:26,965
Horrible. We'd have been...

1363
01:11:27,040 --> 01:11:28,280
awful. We'd have raised...

1364
01:11:28,520 --> 01:11:30,887
a serial killer. Or Justin Bieber.
<font color="#808080">(LAUGHS)</font>

1365
01:11:33,520 --> 01:11:35,568
I really wanted to be a mom.

1366
01:11:36,360 --> 01:11:38,886
But my body doesn't
seem to agree.

1367
01:11:41,000 --> 01:11:42,286
<font color="#808080">(CHUCKLES)</font>

1368
01:11:44,800 --> 01:11:46,484
When I imagined
myself on Broadway,

1369
01:11:46,560 --> 01:11:48,801
I never saw
the dancing reindeer.

1370
01:11:49,040 --> 01:11:50,405
Nice touch.

1371
01:11:56,240 --> 01:11:59,562
<font color="#804040">LAURA</font>: In the clays before Nick's depression
started to eat away at him...

1372
01:11:59,800 --> 01:12:01,723
he had no idea I was pregnant...

1373
01:12:02,560 --> 01:12:04,722
and I never intended
to tell him.

1374
01:12:05,240 --> 01:12:06,685
I guess we make choices in life,

1375
01:12:06,840 --> 01:12:08,922
and we choose to live with them.
<font color="#808080">(GIGGLING)</font>

1376
01:12:09,240 --> 01:12:10,571
<font color="#804040">LAURA</font>: Or not.
<font color="#808080">(BREATHING HEAVILY)</font>

1377
01:12:11,240 --> 01:12:12,924
I didn't want that baby.

1378
01:12:13,480 --> 01:12:15,767
Not because I didn't love
Nick, and not because

1379
01:12:15,840 --> 01:12:18,411
I didn't love the idea
of it, but because...

1380
01:12:19,600 --> 01:12:22,251
I just wasn't ready
to love myself.

1381
01:12:23,920 --> 01:12:26,161
There's a distance
to it all now.

1382
01:12:27,680 --> 01:12:30,160
Hey, Jimmy, you got a smoke?

1383
01:12:45,360 --> 01:12:47,203
<font color="#808080">(RAIN PATTERING)</font>

1384
01:13:27,480 --> 01:13:29,323
Jimmy! Jimmy!

1385
01:13:29,640 --> 01:13:30,641
Jimmy!
<font color="#808080">(GRUNTS)</font>

1386
01:13:35,640 --> 01:13:36,766
<font color="#808080">(GRUNTING)</font>

1387
01:13:36,840 --> 01:13:38,171
Shit!

1388
01:13:39,680 --> 01:13:40,841
Fuck!

1389
01:13:41,160 --> 01:13:42,730
<font color="#808080">(STRAINING)</font>

1390
01:13:47,000 --> 01:13:48,365
Fuck.

1391
01:13:53,640 --> 01:13:55,290
<font color="#808080">(BREATHING HEAVILY)</font>

1392
01:13:57,680 --> 01:13:59,603
Hey, aren't you Riggan Thomson?

1393
01:13:59,680 --> 01:14:01,330
Holy shit, let me
get an autograph.

1394
01:14:01,680 --> 01:14:03,682
Don't be a click.
Give me an autograph.

1395
01:14:04,280 --> 01:14:05,441
Dude, you rock!

1396
01:14:05,680 --> 01:14:07,045
<font color="#804040">MAN</font>: Birdman!

1397
01:14:07,680 --> 01:14:09,045
<font color="#804040">RIGGAN</font>: Oh, shit!

1398
01:14:09,520 --> 01:14:10,851
<font color="#808080">(PEOPLE LAUGHING)</font>

1399
01:14:15,360 --> 01:14:17,522
Oh, my God!
You know who that is?

1400
01:14:19,040 --> 01:14:21,042
<font color="#804040">WOMAN</font>: Oh, can
we take one picture!

1401
01:14:21,360 --> 01:14:24,045
Just one picture!
Kids, get next to him!

1402
01:14:24,360 --> 01:14:25,725
You suck!

1403
01:14:26,040 --> 01:14:27,724
You suuuuck!

1404
01:14:27,800 --> 01:14:29,131
<font color="#808080">(MAN LAUGHING)</font>

1405
01:14:29,200 --> 01:14:31,043
<font color="#804040">WOMAN</font>: Hey, Birdman!

1406
01:14:36,600 --> 01:14:38,284
<font color="#808080">(RIGGAN PANTING)</font>

1407
01:14:38,720 --> 01:14:40,404
Riggan, I'm missing him.

1408
01:14:40,720 --> 01:14:43,724
It's the Bird-fucking-man!
Hey, come look at this guy!

1409
01:14:44,080 --> 01:14:47,721
Birdman! Hey, Birdman,
whooo, look at that!

1410
01:14:55,000 --> 01:14:56,490
Where you going, man?

1411
01:14:56,760 --> 01:14:58,922
You look so old in person.

1412
01:14:59,240 --> 01:15:00,765
<font color="#804040">RIGGAN</font>: Fuck you!

1413
01:15:04,240 --> 01:15:07,084
Sir! Sir! Where are you going?

1414
01:15:07,320 --> 01:15:10,085
Sir! Where are you...? Sir!

1415
01:15:10,440 --> 01:15:11,407
<font color="#804040">RIGGAN</font>: What are you doing?

1416
01:15:11,480 --> 01:15:14,450
Waiting for Jake.
This is my attorney, Mr. Roth.

1417
01:15:14,680 --> 01:15:17,604
We're pursuing financial
remunerations for the injuries...

1418
01:15:17,840 --> 01:15:19,205
I got a play to do!

1419
01:15:19,440 --> 01:15:21,124
Sir, you can't go in there!
<font color="#808080">(SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)</font>

1420
01:15:21,440 --> 01:15:24,284
<font color="#804040">MR. ROTH</font>: Actors Equity
is a very strong union, sir!

1421
01:15:25,120 --> 01:15:26,121
<font color="#808080">(PANTING)</font>

1422
01:15:27,360 --> 01:15:30,045
<font color="#808080">(THUNDER CRACKING)</font>
<font color="#808080">(AUDIENCE MURMURING)</font>

1423
01:15:34,800 --> 01:15:38,441
Knock, knock, knock!
Terri! Terri!

1424
01:15:38,800 --> 01:15:39,961
<font color="#804040">LESLEY</font>: <i>Ed?</i>

1425
01:15:40,080 --> 01:15:41,809
<font color="#808080">(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)</font>

1426
01:15:41,880 --> 01:15:43,211
What are you doing here?

1427
01:15:43,360 --> 01:15:46,045
Why?! I just need
you to tell me why?

1428
01:15:46,280 --> 01:15:47,964
Take it easy, Ed.
I know this is hard.

1429
01:15:48,200 --> 01:15:49,884
Shut up! Fuck you! Shut up!

1430
01:15:50,120 --> 01:15:51,121
Shut up!
<font color="#808080">(LAUGHING STOPS)</font>

1431
01:15:51,400 --> 01:15:52,970
<font color="#804040">LESLEY</font>: Eddie, please!

1432
01:15:54,400 --> 01:15:55,401
<font color="#808080">(PANTING)</font>

1433
01:15:56,480 --> 01:15:58,323
What's wrong with me?!

1434
01:15:59,800 --> 01:16:03,486
Why do I always...
beg people to love me?

1435
01:16:03,800 --> 01:16:07,646
<font color="#804040">LESLEY</font>: Eddie, please, just...
just give me the gun.

1436
01:16:08,000 --> 01:16:09,411
<font color="#808080">(AUDIENCE MURMURING)</font>

1437
01:16:09,480 --> 01:16:11,482
I just wanted to be
what you wanted.

1438
01:16:11,800 --> 01:16:15,168
Now I spend
every fucking clay...

1439
01:16:15,480 --> 01:16:17,482
trying to be somebody I'm not!

1440
01:16:17,760 --> 01:16:20,081
Put the gun down. She doesn't love you!
<font color="#808080">(LESLEY SCREAMS)</font>

1441
01:16:20,840 --> 01:16:21,840
<font color="#804040">LESLEY</font>: Eddie.

1442
01:16:21,880 --> 01:16:25,009
- <font color="#808080">(MIKE GROANING)</font>
- <font color="#804040">LESLEY</font>: Look at me. I was drowning.

1443
01:16:25,480 --> 01:16:28,165
I'm just not capable of that kind of...
<font color="#808080">(MOBILE CHIMING)</font>

1444
01:16:29,000 --> 01:16:31,844
You deserve to be loved, Eddie.
You do.

1445
01:16:32,160 --> 01:16:34,162
<font color="#804040">RIGGAN</font>: I just wanted
to be what you wanted.

1446
01:16:34,680 --> 01:16:37,001
Mr. Roth?
Okay, don't leave, please.

1447
01:16:37,360 --> 01:16:39,169
Is that a threat?
What wheelchair?

1448
01:16:39,520 --> 01:16:42,364
Okay, Mr. Roth, please hear me out.
Will you?

1449
01:16:42,600 --> 01:16:44,921
Don't hang up. Don't hang up.

1450
01:16:45,200 --> 01:16:47,168
Give me 10 minutes
to grab my things,

1451
01:16:47,240 --> 01:16:49,846
give me 10 minutes and we can...
Don't hang up.

1452
01:16:50,360 --> 01:16:52,840
Goddamn it!
The motherfucker hung up!

1453
01:17:03,120 --> 01:17:04,406
<font color="#808080">(GUNSHOT)</font>

1454
01:17:07,720 --> 01:17:09,165
<font color="#808080">(AUDIENCE APPLAUDS)</font>

1455
01:17:13,840 --> 01:17:14,841
<font color="#808080">(CHEERING)</font>

1456
01:17:42,240 --> 01:17:43,241
<font color="#804040">SAM</font>: Dad.

1457
01:17:45,240 --> 01:17:46,571
Dad!

1458
01:17:47,400 --> 01:17:48,686
Are you... okay?

1459
01:17:48,760 --> 01:17:49,921
Why?

1460
01:17:50,760 --> 01:17:52,922
You seem sort of...

1461
01:17:53,120 --> 01:17:55,248
No, I'm good, I'm good.

1462
01:17:55,480 --> 01:17:57,482
This is good. You want some?

1463
01:17:57,760 --> 01:17:58,921
No.

1464
01:18:00,760 --> 01:18:04,082
Do you really think you'll be
ready for opening tomorrow?

1465
01:18:04,440 --> 01:18:05,771
Yeah. Yep.

1466
01:18:07,440 --> 01:18:09,602
Yeah, well, I mean...

1467
01:18:10,120 --> 01:18:12,407
previews were pretty
much a train wreck.

1468
01:18:12,480 --> 01:18:14,767
We can't seem to get
through a performance...

1469
01:18:15,440 --> 01:18:19,764
without a raging fire
or a raging hard-on. I'm broke.

1470
01:18:20,120 --> 01:18:22,964
I'm not sleeping, like, you know...
at all.

1471
01:18:23,280 --> 01:18:27,968
And, uh, this play is kind
of starting to feel like...

1472
01:18:28,280 --> 01:18:32,444
a miniature, deformed version
of myself that just keeps...

1473
01:18:32,800 --> 01:18:34,802
following me around and, like...

1474
01:18:35,280 --> 01:18:39,285
hitting me in the balls with,
like, a tiny little hammer.

1475
01:18:41,320 --> 01:18:42,970
I'm sorry,
what was the question?

1476
01:18:43,320 --> 01:18:44,651
Never mind.

1477
01:18:45,160 --> 01:18:46,844
Tonight wasn't bad.

1478
01:18:47,480 --> 01:18:48,480
I know.

1479
01:18:48,520 --> 01:18:50,000
It was weird, but it
was kind of cool.

1480
01:18:50,160 --> 01:18:51,160
Yeah, really?

1481
01:18:51,200 --> 01:18:52,645
Yeah, I think people liked it.

1482
01:18:53,800 --> 01:18:56,007
What are you doing? Homework?

1483
01:18:56,320 --> 01:18:57,651
No, I don't...

1484
01:18:58,000 --> 01:19:01,004
No, um... When I was in rehab,
they made us do this.

1485
01:19:01,200 --> 01:19:02,361
Really? What is it'?

1486
01:19:02,640 --> 01:19:06,440
Um... These dashes represent
the six billion years

1487
01:19:06,520 --> 01:19:07,720
that the Earth has been around.

1488
01:19:08,040 --> 01:19:11,169
So, each dash represents
a thousand years.

1489
01:19:11,360 --> 01:19:15,729
And, um, this...
is how long humans have been here.

1490
01:19:16,680 --> 01:19:18,682
150,000 years.

1491
01:19:19,680 --> 01:19:21,284
I think they're trying
to remind us that

1492
01:19:21,400 --> 01:19:24,006
that's all our ego
and self-obsession are worth.

1493
01:19:28,680 --> 01:19:30,842
I was a shitty father, wasn't I?

1494
01:19:32,360 --> 01:19:33,850
No, you were...

1495
01:19:36,360 --> 01:19:37,850
You were fine.

1496
01:19:39,200 --> 01:19:41,680
That's right, I was...
I was just fine.

1497
01:19:45,200 --> 01:19:46,531
I can't...

1498
01:19:46,760 --> 01:19:47,761
Dad?

1499
01:19:48,720 --> 01:19:50,370
Oh, shoot. I'm sorry.

1500
01:19:50,560 --> 01:19:53,928
You just wiped out the entire
human race. <font color="#808080">(LAUGHS)</font>

1501
01:19:54,720 --> 01:19:57,200
There it goes. I'm sorry.

1502
01:19:57,360 --> 01:19:58,361
<font color="#808080">(SIGHS)</font>

1503
01:19:59,040 --> 01:20:00,041
Um...

1504
01:20:00,600 --> 01:20:03,251
You're becoming
a trending topic.

1505
01:20:03,560 --> 01:20:04,607
Really?

1506
01:20:06,200 --> 01:20:09,568
I should probably tell you
about this before anybody else does.

1507
01:20:11,040 --> 01:20:12,849
<font color="#808080">(PEOPLE SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)</font>

1508
01:20:13,040 --> 01:20:16,726
350,000 views in less
than an hour.

1509
01:20:18,560 --> 01:20:19,721
Fuck.

1510
01:20:22,240 --> 01:20:25,084
Believe or not, this is power.

1511
01:20:29,760 --> 01:20:31,569
<font color="#804040">MAN</font>: <i>Hey, look,
it's Riggan Thomson!</i>

1512
01:20:31,920 --> 01:20:33,570
<i>Look at that!</i>

1513
01:20:33,920 --> 01:20:36,840
<font color="#804040">MALE ANCHOR</font>: <i>One million,
three hundred thousand hits in the last 2 hours.</i>

1514
01:20:37,080 --> 01:20:39,080
<font color="#804040">FEMALE ANCHOR</font>: <i>That's Birdman
actor Riggan Thomson.</i>

1515
01:20:39,120 --> 01:20:40,645
<font color="#804040">RIGGAN</font>: Give me another one.

1516
01:20:41,440 --> 01:20:42,487
<font color="#804040">BARTENDER</font>: You got it.

1517
01:20:42,760 --> 01:20:44,091
<i>That takes a lot of balls.</i>

1518
01:20:45,240 --> 01:20:46,127
- <font color="#804040">MALE ANCHOR</font>: Or not.
- <font color="#804040">FEMALE ANCHOR</font>: Ouch!

1519
01:20:46,440 --> 01:20:48,488
<font color="#804040">MALE ANCHOR</font>: <i>What do you have
to do to get a job these days?</i>

1520
01:20:48,760 --> 01:20:51,081
<font color="#804040">FEMALE ANCHOR</font>: <i>Why must actors
have to resort to this?</i>

1521
01:20:52,080 --> 01:20:54,606
That's going
over to Ms. Dickinson.

1522
01:20:54,920 --> 01:20:56,763
<font color="#804040">WAITER</font>: Give me a minute.

1523
01:21:01,120 --> 01:21:04,602
Hey, um, that's on me.
She's a friend of mine.

1524
01:21:05,120 --> 01:21:06,770
<font color="#804040">BARTENDER</font>: Okay. No problem.

1525
01:21:07,120 --> 01:21:08,281
Thank you.
<font color="#808080">(SIGHS)</font>

1526
01:21:14,160 --> 01:21:15,161
<font color="#808080">(SIGHS)</font>

1527
01:21:19,600 --> 01:21:20,931
That was...

1528
01:21:21,240 --> 01:21:24,244
twenty years before I put
on that goddamn outfit.

1529
01:21:24,520 --> 01:21:26,010
I don't care.

1530
01:21:28,440 --> 01:21:30,442
Okay. I was just...

1531
01:21:31,920 --> 01:21:34,082
<font color="#808080">(STAMMERING)</font>
You know, before you come tomorrow night.

1532
01:21:34,360 --> 01:21:35,930
It doesn't matter.

1533
01:21:37,520 --> 01:21:38,521
<font color="#808080">(SIGHS)</font>

1534
01:21:39,440 --> 01:21:41,602
I'm going to destroy your play.

1535
01:21:42,760 --> 01:21:44,728
But you didn't even see it.

1536
01:21:44,800 --> 01:21:46,290
Um, you know, did I do
something to offend you?

1537
01:21:46,520 --> 01:21:48,204
Actually, you did.

1538
01:21:48,440 --> 01:21:50,044
You occupied a theater which

1539
01:21:50,120 --> 01:21:52,361
might have been used
on something worthwhile.

1540
01:21:54,120 --> 01:21:58,284
Okay. But you don't even know
if it's any good or not.

1541
01:21:58,640 --> 01:22:02,804
That's true. I haven't read a word
of it, or even seen a preview...

1542
01:22:03,120 --> 01:22:04,531
but after the opening tomorrow,

1543
01:22:04,600 --> 01:22:08,127
I'm going to turn in the worst
review anybody has ever read.

1544
01:22:08,960 --> 01:22:10,962
And I'm going
to close your play.

1545
01:22:11,640 --> 01:22:13,324
Would you like to know why?

1546
01:22:13,800 --> 01:22:17,805
Because I hate you,
and everyone you represent.

1547
01:22:18,320 --> 01:22:21,961
Entitled, selfish,
spoiled children.

1548
01:22:22,800 --> 01:22:26,486
Blissfully untrained,
unversed and unprepared...

1549
01:22:26,800 --> 01:22:28,802
to even attempt real art.

1550
01:22:29,160 --> 01:22:33,006
Handing each other awards
for cartoons and pornography.

1551
01:22:33,240 --> 01:22:36,005
Measuring your worth
in weekends?

1552
01:22:36,480 --> 01:22:38,164
Well, this is the theater.

1553
01:22:38,400 --> 01:22:40,209
You don't get to come
here and pretend

1554
01:22:40,280 --> 01:22:42,009
you can write, direct and act...

1555
01:22:42,240 --> 01:22:43,765
in your own propaganda piece

1556
01:22:43,840 --> 01:22:46,081
without coming through me first.

1557
01:22:46,480 --> 01:22:48,881
Ah. So break a leg.

1558
01:22:51,400 --> 01:22:54,404
Wow. So what has to happen
in a person's life

1559
01:22:54,480 --> 01:22:56,403
for them to become
a critic, anyway?

1560
01:22:57,240 --> 01:22:59,049
What are you writing, a review?

1561
01:22:59,400 --> 01:23:01,084
Huh? Is it any good?

1562
01:23:01,400 --> 01:23:04,722
Is it bad? Did you even see it?
Let me read it.

1563
01:23:04,920 --> 01:23:06,763
I will call the police.

1564
01:23:06,840 --> 01:23:08,640
No, you won't.
Let's read your fucking review.

1565
01:23:08,920 --> 01:23:11,400
"Callow." Callow is a label.

1566
01:23:12,240 --> 01:23:14,402
"Lackluster."
That's just a label.

1567
01:23:14,760 --> 01:23:17,491
"Marginalia"? Are you kidding me?
<font color="#808080">(SCOFFS)</font>

1568
01:23:17,560 --> 01:23:19,600
It sounds like you need
penicillin to clear that up.

1569
01:23:19,920 --> 01:23:23,402
That's a label, too. These are all labels.
You just label everything.

1570
01:23:23,760 --> 01:23:28,084
That's so fucking lazy.
You're a lazy fucker.

1571
01:23:28,440 --> 01:23:29,601
You're a lazy...

1572
01:23:29,920 --> 01:23:32,924
Do you know what this is?
Do you even know what it is?

1573
01:23:33,240 --> 01:23:34,924
You don't. You know why?

1574
01:23:35,120 --> 01:23:37,691
Because you can't see this thing

1575
01:23:37,760 --> 01:23:39,125
if you don't know
how to label it.

1576
01:23:39,440 --> 01:23:43,331
You mistake those noises
in your head for true knowledge.

1577
01:23:43,600 --> 01:23:44,965
Are you finished? No.

1578
01:23:45,280 --> 01:23:48,124
There's nothing in here
about technique, about structure...

1579
01:23:48,320 --> 01:23:51,642
about intention.
It's just a bunch of crappy opinions...

1580
01:23:51,960 --> 01:23:54,964
backed up by even crappier
comparisons.

1581
01:23:55,280 --> 01:23:57,965
You write a couple paragraphs,
and you know what?

1582
01:23:58,160 --> 01:24:01,289
None of this costs you
fucking anything.

1583
01:24:01,960 --> 01:24:04,964
You risk nothing.
Nothing, nothing, nothing!

1584
01:24:05,280 --> 01:24:07,282
Well, I'm a fucking actor.

1585
01:24:08,840 --> 01:24:09,841
<font color="#808080">(SIGHS)</font>

1586
01:24:10,800 --> 01:24:13,121
This play cost me everything.

1587
01:24:14,960 --> 01:24:18,123
So I'll tell you what.
You take this fucking...

1588
01:24:18,480 --> 01:24:20,801
malicious, cowardly...

1589
01:24:21,160 --> 01:24:25,484
shittily written review and you
shove it right the fuck up...

1590
01:24:25,800 --> 01:24:29,486
your wrinkly... tight ass.

1591
01:24:30,600 --> 01:24:31,601
<font color="#808080">(CHUCKLES)</font>

1592
01:24:34,480 --> 01:24:36,926
You're no actor,
you're a celebrity.

1593
01:24:37,000 --> 01:24:38,490
Let's be clear on that.

1594
01:24:44,840 --> 01:24:46,842
I'm going to kill your play.

1595
01:24:59,080 --> 01:25:00,081
<font color="#808080">(CHUCKLES)</font>

1596
01:25:08,600 --> 01:25:09,601
<font color="#808080">(BELCHES)</font>

1597
01:25:19,360 --> 01:25:21,044
<font color="#804040">MAN</font>: Tomorrow...

1598
01:25:21,880 --> 01:25:24,724
and tomorrow...

1599
01:25:25,720 --> 01:25:27,529
and tomorrow,

1600
01:25:29,040 --> 01:25:31,725
Creeps in this...
<font color="#808080">(HORN HONKING)</font>

1601
01:25:33,880 --> 01:25:36,042
petty pace...

1602
01:25:36,880 --> 01:25:39,042
from day to day...

1603
01:25:40,880 --> 01:25:43,884
to the last... syllable...

1604
01:25:45,880 --> 01:25:48,247
of recorded time;

1605
01:25:50,080 --> 01:25:51,570
And...

1606
01:25:52,720 --> 01:25:56,566
all of our yesterdays...

1607
01:25:58,400 --> 01:26:00,084
have lighted...

1608
01:26:01,240 --> 01:26:02,924
fools...

1609
01:26:05,400 --> 01:26:07,084
<font color="#804040">RIGGAN</font>: A pint
of whiskey, please.

1610
01:26:07,280 --> 01:26:09,442
<font color="#804040">MAN</font>: The way to dusty death.

1611
01:26:10,240 --> 01:26:13,084
Out... out...

1612
01:26:14,600 --> 01:26:16,204
<font color="#804040">SHOPKEEPER</font>: $6.50, my friend.

1613
01:26:16,280 --> 01:26:17,930
$6.59 Uh?

1614
01:26:19,920 --> 01:26:22,605
Here... I don't know
what that is, just take it.

1615
01:26:23,600 --> 01:26:24,761
But your...

1616
01:26:25,440 --> 01:26:28,125
<font color="#804040">MAN</font>: Life
is but a walking shadow,

1617
01:26:29,920 --> 01:26:31,604
A poor...

1618
01:26:32,280 --> 01:26:33,611
player...

1619
01:26:34,760 --> 01:26:39,448
that struts and frets
his hour upon the stage...

1620
01:26:40,120 --> 01:26:41,963
and then is heard...

1621
01:26:43,120 --> 01:26:44,610
no more!

1622
01:26:45,120 --> 01:26:46,804
It is a tale...

1623
01:26:47,280 --> 01:26:50,966
told by an idiot...

1624
01:26:52,280 --> 01:26:55,124
full of sound and fury...

1625
01:26:56,120 --> 01:27:00,125
signifying nothing!

1626
01:27:03,640 --> 01:27:06,120
Where you going, man?
Was that too much?

1627
01:27:06,640 --> 01:27:08,642
I was just trying
to give you a range.

1628
01:27:08,840 --> 01:27:11,047
It's a little bit too much.
I can tell, because you...

1629
01:27:11,160 --> 01:27:12,844
I just want to give you a range.

1630
01:27:13,160 --> 01:27:16,482
That was a little too much.
It was a little too much.

1631
01:27:40,160 --> 01:27:41,685
<font color="#808080">(SIGHS)</font>

1632
01:28:06,320 --> 01:28:08,891
<font color="#808080">(PEOPLE TALKING INDISTINCTLY)</font>

1633
01:28:10,360 --> 01:28:14,046
<font color="#804040">BIRDMAN</font>: <i>God, you look
like shit, brother.</i>

1634
01:28:14,520 --> 01:28:18,047
<i>You get that mongoloid look
when you're hung over.</i>

1635
01:28:18,360 --> 01:28:19,361
<font color="#808080">(LAUGHS)</font>
Yeah.

1636
01:28:20,880 --> 01:28:23,201
<i>Let's go. Come on. Get up.</i>

1637
01:28:23,720 --> 01:28:25,563
<i>It's a beautiful day.</i>
<font color="#808080">(GROANS)</font>

1638
01:28:26,040 --> 01:28:30,250
<i>Forget about the Times...
everyone else has.</i>

1639
01:28:30,880 --> 01:28:32,882
<i>Come on. Stand up!</i>

1640
01:28:34,240 --> 01:28:37,210
<i>So you're not a great actor.
Who cares?</i>

1641
01:28:37,280 --> 01:28:39,089
<i>You're much more than that.</i>

1642
01:28:39,400 --> 01:28:43,086
<i>You tower over these other
theater douchebags.</i>

1643
01:28:43,400 --> 01:28:45,160
<font color="#808080">(BREATHING HEAVILY)</font>
You're a movie <i>star, man!</i>

1644
01:28:45,320 --> 01:28:48,085
<i>You're a global force!
Don't you get it?</i>

1645
01:28:48,320 --> 01:28:50,482
You spent your life
building a bank account

1646
01:28:50,560 --> 01:28:52,688
and a reputation...
and you blew 'em both.

1647
01:28:52,920 --> 01:28:54,001
Good for you.

1648
01:28:54,240 --> 01:28:56,607
Fuck it. We'll make a comeback.

1649
01:28:56,680 --> 01:28:59,251
They're waiting for something huge.
Well, give it to them.

1650
01:28:59,680 --> 01:29:03,002
Shave off that pathetic goatee.
Get some surgery!

1651
01:29:03,240 --> 01:29:05,607
Sixty's the new
thirty, motherfucker.

1652
01:29:05,840 --> 01:29:09,686
You're the original.
You paved the way for these other clowns.

1653
01:29:09,920 --> 01:29:11,524
Give the people
what they want...

1654
01:29:11,600 --> 01:29:13,443
old-fashioned apocalyptic porn.

1655
01:29:13,680 --> 01:29:15,682
<font color="#804040">BIRDMAN</font>: <i>The Phoenix Rises.</i>

1656
01:29:15,920 --> 01:29:18,127
Pimple-faced gamers
creaming in their pants.

1657
01:29:18,360 --> 01:29:21,204
A billion worldwide, guaranteed!

1658
01:29:21,280 --> 01:29:23,044
You are larger than life, man.

1659
01:29:23,280 --> 01:29:26,284
You save people from their boring,
miserable lives.

1660
01:29:26,600 --> 01:29:29,444
You make them jump,
laugh, shit their pants.

1661
01:29:29,680 --> 01:29:31,728
All you have to do is...

1662
01:29:35,800 --> 01:29:36,801
<font color="#808080">(SCREAMS)</font>

1663
01:29:42,280 --> 01:29:44,203
That's what I'm talking about.

1664
01:29:44,280 --> 01:29:46,965
Bones rattling! Big, loud, fast!

1665
01:29:48,120 --> 01:29:51,488
Look at these people, at their eyes...
they're sparkling.

1666
01:29:51,680 --> 01:29:55,002
They love this shit. They love blood.
They love action.

1667
01:29:55,320 --> 01:29:59,962
Not this talky, depressing,
philosophical bullshit.

1668
01:30:01,720 --> 01:30:03,051
<font color="#808080">(SCREECHING)</font>

1669
01:30:04,400 --> 01:30:05,811
<font color="#808080">(ROARING)</font>

1670
01:30:07,640 --> 01:30:09,005
<font color="#804040">BIRDMAN</font>: Yes.

1671
01:30:09,320 --> 01:30:12,005
<i>And the next time you screech...</i>

1672
01:30:12,080 --> 01:30:13,081
<font color="#808080">(SCREECHES)</font>

1673
01:30:13,480 --> 01:30:17,007
<i>it'll explode into millions
of eardrums.</i>

1674
01:30:17,480 --> 01:30:21,690
<i>You'll glimmer on thousands
of screens around the globe.</i>

1675
01:30:22,000 --> 01:30:24,321
<i>Another blockbuster.</i>

1676
01:30:25,160 --> 01:30:27,527
<i>You are a god.</i>

1677
01:30:28,000 --> 01:30:31,368
See? <i>There you go,
you motherfucker.</i>

1678
01:30:31,680 --> 01:30:34,001
<i>Gravity doesn't
even apply to you.</i>

1679
01:30:34,240 --> 01:30:38,006
<i>Wait till you see the faces of those
who thought we were finished.</i>

1680
01:30:38,240 --> 01:30:40,447
<i>Listen to me.
Let's go back one more time</i>

1681
01:30:40,520 --> 01:30:42,568
<i>and show them
what we're capable of.</i>

1682
01:30:42,840 --> 01:30:47,528
<i>We have to end it on our own terms...
with a grand gesture.</i>

1683
01:30:47,720 --> 01:30:50,405
<i>Flames. Sacrifice.</i>

1684
01:30:51,200 --> 01:30:52,361
<i>Icarus.</i>

1685
01:30:53,040 --> 01:30:54,690
<i>You can do it.</i>

1686
01:30:55,040 --> 01:30:56,371
<i>You hear me?</i>

1687
01:30:56,880 --> 01:30:57,881
You are...

1688
01:30:58,040 --> 01:30:59,530
<font color="#804040">MAN</font>: Birdman!

1689
01:31:03,880 --> 01:31:07,885
<font color="#804040">WOMAN</font>: Hey! Is this for real,
or are you shooting a film?

1690
01:31:09,400 --> 01:31:11,050
A film!

1691
01:31:11,560 --> 01:31:14,040
<font color="#804040">WOMAN</font>: You people are full of shit!
<font color="#808080">(BREATH TREMBLING)</font>

1692
01:31:15,400 --> 01:31:17,562
<font color="#804040">MAN</font>: Hey, man, can I help you?

1693
01:31:18,720 --> 01:31:19,767
Be careful.

1694
01:31:20,040 --> 01:31:22,566
Sorry, I can't talk. I'm late.

1695
01:31:23,240 --> 01:31:24,571
Music.

1696
01:31:24,640 --> 01:31:26,404
<font color="#808080">(SOARING MUSIC BEGINS PLAYING)</font>

1697
01:31:26,720 --> 01:31:27,721
<font color="#808080">(MUSIC STOPS)</font>

1698
01:31:28,920 --> 01:31:30,251
You okay, man?

1699
01:31:32,240 --> 01:31:34,242
You want me to call
somebody for you?

1700
01:31:36,240 --> 01:31:37,765
Do you know where to go?

1701
01:31:41,760 --> 01:31:42,807
Yeah.

1702
01:31:43,760 --> 01:31:45,091
I know where to go.

1703
01:31:46,600 --> 01:31:47,601
Oh! Hey!

1704
01:31:53,680 --> 01:31:55,409
<font color="#808080">(SOARING MUSIC PLAYING)</font>

1705
01:31:55,880 --> 01:31:57,245
<font color="#808080">(RIGGAN LAUGHS)</font>

1706
01:31:59,560 --> 01:32:02,325
Oh! On!
<font color="#808080">(LAUGHING)</font>

1707
01:32:12,880 --> 01:32:13,881
Whoa!

1708
01:32:14,120 --> 01:32:15,610
<font color="#808080">(BELL TOLLING)</font>

1709
01:32:31,080 --> 01:32:32,445
<font color="#804040">BIRDMAN</font>: You <i>see?</i>

1710
01:32:33,600 --> 01:32:35,841
<i>This is where you belong.</i>

1711
01:32:39,760 --> 01:32:41,444
<i>Above them all.</i>

1712
01:32:49,720 --> 01:32:51,131
<font color="#808080">(HORN HONKING)</font>

1713
01:33:43,680 --> 01:33:45,091
Stop the music.
<font color="#808080">(MUSIC STOPS)</font>

1714
01:33:45,160 --> 01:33:46,491
I beg your pardon?

1715
01:33:47,000 --> 01:33:49,040
Sir, you did not pay me!
<font color="#808080">(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)</font>

1716
01:33:49,320 --> 01:33:52,847
What are you doing?
Where are you going?

1717
01:33:53,160 --> 01:33:56,004
<font color="#804040">CAB DRIVER</font>: This guy didn't pay me.
He's fucking crazy!

1718
01:33:56,520 --> 01:33:58,409
<font color="#808080">(CONTINUES TALKING INDISTINCTLY)</font>

1719
01:34:02,560 --> 01:34:03,561
<font color="#808080">(SPEAKING SPANISH)</font>

1720
01:34:29,120 --> 01:34:30,565
<font color="#808080">(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)</font>

1721
01:34:30,640 --> 01:34:31,880
<font color="#804040">MAN 1</font>: Not a bad first act, huh?

1722
01:34:31,920 --> 01:34:33,046
<font color="#804040">WOMAN 1</font>: Not bad at all.

1723
01:34:33,280 --> 01:34:34,486
<font color="#804040">MAN 2</font>: It's going really well.

1724
01:34:34,720 --> 01:34:36,882
<font color="#804040">WOMAN 2</font>: I didn't think
he could do Broadway.

1725
01:34:37,400 --> 01:34:38,731
<font color="#804040">MAN 3</font>: I never
would have expected it.

1726
01:34:38,880 --> 01:34:40,440
<font color="#804040">MAN 4</font>: If the 2nd act
is half as good...

1727
01:34:40,560 --> 01:34:42,050
<font color="#804040">WOMAN 3</font>: It's pretty glorious.

1728
01:34:42,200 --> 01:34:44,248
<font color="#804040">MAN 5</font>: What do we talk about when
we talk about Riggan Thomson?

1729
01:34:44,400 --> 01:34:45,481
<font color="#804040">WOMAN 4</font>: How long
is the intermission?

1730
01:34:45,640 --> 01:34:47,244
<font color="#804040">WOMAN 5</font>: Birdman can act.

1731
01:35:05,840 --> 01:35:06,841
Whoa.

1732
01:35:07,080 --> 01:35:09,401
I just came to say hello.

1733
01:35:09,760 --> 01:35:12,889
It's going great out there.
You're so good.

1734
01:35:12,960 --> 01:35:14,689
I mean it. I really mean it.

1735
01:35:14,920 --> 01:35:17,924
<font color="#804040">ANNIE OVER SPEAKER</font>: <i>Places
for the final scene, Riggan.</i>

1736
01:35:18,160 --> 01:35:19,400
Do you need to...?

1737
01:35:19,480 --> 01:35:21,120
No, it's fine.
Just sit here for a second.

1738
01:35:21,360 --> 01:35:23,362
Look at all these roses.

1739
01:35:23,600 --> 01:35:24,840
I hate roses.

1740
01:35:24,920 --> 01:35:26,081
And you hate roses.
<font color="#808080">(CHUCKLES)</font>

1741
01:35:28,080 --> 01:35:30,287
Are you okay? You seem...

1742
01:35:30,920 --> 01:35:34,288
I don't know, you
seem abnormally calm.

1743
01:35:36,280 --> 01:35:37,770
I am calm.

1744
01:35:38,760 --> 01:35:40,603
I'm great, actually.

1745
01:35:42,320 --> 01:35:43,321
You know...

1746
01:35:44,200 --> 01:35:48,524
I got this little voice...
talks to me sometimes.

1747
01:35:48,960 --> 01:35:50,644
Tells me the truth.

1748
01:35:50,960 --> 01:35:52,291
It's comforting.

1749
01:35:52,800 --> 01:35:54,802
Kind of scary, but it
is comforting.

1750
01:35:55,280 --> 01:35:57,248
I'm going to pretend
I didn't hear you say that.

1751
01:35:57,320 --> 01:35:58,481
Okay.
<font color="#808080">(BOTH CHUCKLE)</font>

1752
01:35:58,960 --> 01:36:00,803
You wouldn't believe
the crowd outside.

1753
01:36:00,880 --> 01:36:03,804
They said some people
paid up to $500 a ticket.

1754
01:36:04,320 --> 01:36:05,481
Really?

1755
01:36:06,680 --> 01:36:07,681
Hey-

1756
01:36:09,320 --> 01:36:11,163
Can I tell you something funny?

1757
01:36:12,880 --> 01:36:14,723
Remember our last
anniversary party?

1758
01:36:14,960 --> 01:36:17,088
Seriously? You want
to ruin a nice moment?

1759
01:36:17,160 --> 01:36:18,491
Do you remember?

1760
01:36:18,720 --> 01:36:20,927
You fucked Janet
Rossbach in our bed.

1761
01:36:21,000 --> 01:36:22,240
Skip over that part.

1762
01:36:22,480 --> 01:36:23,481
Oh, gladly.

1763
01:36:23,840 --> 01:36:25,968
You threw all the guests
out of the house... <font color="#808080">(LAUGHS)</font>

1764
01:36:26,040 --> 01:36:28,168
and you threw all the furniture
out the window.

1765
01:36:28,400 --> 01:36:30,120
I remember. Locked
yourself in the bathroom.

1766
01:36:30,320 --> 01:36:32,004
Why are we talking about...?

1767
01:36:32,240 --> 01:36:33,605
I drove out to...

1768
01:36:34,080 --> 01:36:35,411
Malibu.

1769
01:36:36,320 --> 01:36:40,166
I just sat on the beach for a while,
looking out at the ocean.

1770
01:36:40,440 --> 01:36:41,441
Riggan.

1771
01:36:41,680 --> 01:36:43,330
And I walked...

1772
01:36:43,680 --> 01:36:45,523
straight into the water.

1773
01:36:46,800 --> 01:36:47,801
<font color="#808080">(SIGHS)</font>

1774
01:36:50,520 --> 01:36:52,522
And then I tried
to drown myself.

1775
01:36:57,680 --> 01:37:00,206
I was up to my chest when
I felt the first one.

1776
01:37:00,520 --> 01:37:02,329
On my back, it
was like somebody was

1777
01:37:02,400 --> 01:37:05,210
holding a frying pan to me
and really burning.

1778
01:37:05,440 --> 01:37:08,967
And then they were on my chest
and all over my legs.

1779
01:37:09,880 --> 01:37:12,406
The water was full of jellyfish.
<font color="#808080">(LAUGHING)</font>

1780
01:37:14,760 --> 01:37:15,921
They were all over me.

1781
01:37:16,000 --> 01:37:19,766
I had to fight my way out of the water
and went up to the beach.

1782
01:37:20,080 --> 01:37:23,607
I was rolling around like a maniac
in the sand...

1783
01:37:24,280 --> 01:37:25,645
crying.
<font color="#808080">(LAUGHING)</font>

1784
01:37:27,240 --> 01:37:29,288
You said it was a sunburn.

1785
01:37:30,440 --> 01:37:33,444
I know. And you believed me.

1786
01:37:33,920 --> 01:37:36,127
To be honest,
I didn't give a shit.

1787
01:37:44,600 --> 01:37:45,965
I love you.

1788
01:37:46,480 --> 01:37:47,481
<font color="#808080">(CHUCKLES)</font>

1789
01:37:49,800 --> 01:37:50,926
And I love Sam.

1790
01:37:51,000 --> 01:37:52,126
I know.

1791
01:37:55,960 --> 01:37:58,440
I really wish I hadn't
videotaped her birth.

1792
01:37:58,800 --> 01:37:59,961
Why?

1793
01:38:00,280 --> 01:38:01,281
'Cause...
<font color="#808080">(SIGHS)</font>

1794
01:38:02,480 --> 01:38:04,482
I missed the moment, really.

1795
01:38:04,800 --> 01:38:06,211
I don't have it.

1796
01:38:06,280 --> 01:38:08,647
I should have just been there
with the two of you.

1797
01:38:08,960 --> 01:38:12,806
You know...
just the three of us.

1798
01:38:16,160 --> 01:38:17,491
But I wasn't.

1799
01:38:17,680 --> 01:38:20,843
I wasn't even present in my own life,
and now I don't have it...

1800
01:38:21,160 --> 01:38:22,810
and I'm never going to have it.

1801
01:38:23,160 --> 01:38:24,605
You have Sam.

1802
01:38:24,680 --> 01:38:26,170
Not really, I don't.
I mean, she's...

1803
01:38:26,480 --> 01:38:28,323
No, she's just going through...

1804
01:38:28,640 --> 01:38:30,529
No, I get it, I understand.

1805
01:38:30,600 --> 01:38:32,329
She needed to have a dad...

1806
01:38:32,520 --> 01:38:35,524
and instead she got
this guy who was a...

1807
01:38:35,840 --> 01:38:38,650
three-day viral sensation.

1808
01:38:38,720 --> 01:38:40,006
It is so pathetic, I can't...

1809
01:38:40,200 --> 01:38:42,202
There are things more
pathetic than that.

1810
01:38:42,520 --> 01:38:43,601
Yeah, like?

1811
01:38:43,680 --> 01:38:45,011
That moustache.
<font color="#808080">(BOTH LAUGHING)</font>

1812
01:38:50,360 --> 01:38:52,328
<font color="#804040">ANNIE OVER SPEAKER</font>: <i>Riggan,
we are in the motel.</i>

1813
01:38:52,400 --> 01:38:55,370
<i>Last scene has started.
You're not here.</i>

1814
01:38:55,680 --> 01:38:57,682
<i>Last chance for "places."</i>

1815
01:38:58,240 --> 01:39:00,208
You better get
back to your seat.

1816
01:39:08,360 --> 01:39:09,361
<font color="#808080">(DOOR OPENS)</font>

1817
01:39:12,000 --> 01:39:13,001
<font color="#808080">(DOOR CLOSES)</font>

1818
01:39:20,520 --> 01:39:25,208
Twenty little leopards
laughed at two lofty lions.

1819
01:39:25,560 --> 01:39:28,564
Twenty little leopards
laughed at two lofty lions.

1820
01:39:28,720 --> 01:39:32,725
<font color="#808080">(SOFTLY)</font> Twenty little leopards
laughed at two lofty lions.

1821
01:39:37,120 --> 01:39:38,121
<font color="#808080">(SNIFFS)</font>

1822
01:39:38,240 --> 01:39:39,571
<font color="#808080">(VOCALIZING)</font>

1823
01:39:50,320 --> 01:39:52,561
<font color="#808080">(DRUMS PLAYING SYNCOPATED JAZZ BEAT)</font>

1824
01:40:04,440 --> 01:40:06,442
Break a leg, Mr. Thomson.

1825
01:40:32,520 --> 01:40:33,965
<font color="#808080">(BOTTLES CLINKING)</font>

1826
01:40:36,080 --> 01:40:37,764
Let me put the blood rig on.

1827
01:40:43,680 --> 01:40:45,011
Riggan!

1828
01:40:46,240 --> 01:40:47,890
<font color="#808080">(THUNDER CRASHING)</font>

1829
01:40:54,680 --> 01:40:55,841
Terri!

1830
01:40:56,360 --> 01:40:57,521
Terri!

1831
01:40:58,600 --> 01:41:00,011
Eddie! What are you doing here?

1832
01:41:00,280 --> 01:41:03,204
Why? I just want you
to tell me why.

1833
01:41:03,440 --> 01:41:05,522
- Shut up!
- <font color="#804040">LESLEY</font>: Eddie, please!

1834
01:41:06,440 --> 01:41:08,124
What's the matter with me?

1835
01:41:08,360 --> 01:41:12,046
Tell me. Why do I always have
to beg people to love me?

1836
01:41:12,360 --> 01:41:14,044
<font color="#804040">LESLEY</font>: Eddie, please,
give me the gun.

1837
01:41:14,360 --> 01:41:17,204
It was me. I was drowning.
I'm just not capable of...

1838
01:41:17,520 --> 01:41:20,888
<font color="#808080">(THUNDER RUMBLING)</font>
You deserve to be loved, Eddie. You do.

1839
01:41:22,440 --> 01:41:26,206
I just wanted to be what you wanted.
What you wanted.

1840
01:41:26,440 --> 01:41:28,602
Now I spend every fucking
minute trying

1841
01:41:28,680 --> 01:41:30,808
to be something else,
something I'm not.

1842
01:41:31,040 --> 01:41:32,724
<font color="#804040">MIKE</font>: Just put the gun down, Ed.

1843
01:41:32,800 --> 01:41:34,404
<font color="#808080">(PANTING)</font>
She doesn't love you anymore.

1844
01:41:36,880 --> 01:41:38,564
You don't, do you?

1845
01:41:38,880 --> 01:41:40,041
<font color="#804040">LESLEY</font>: No.

1846
01:41:40,120 --> 01:41:41,246
And you never will.

1847
01:41:42,040 --> 01:41:43,405
<font color="#804040">LESLEY</font>: I'm sorry.

1848
01:41:43,840 --> 01:41:45,444
<font color="#808080">(SIGHS)</font>
Ah.

1849
01:41:46,320 --> 01:41:47,321
<font color="#808080">(CHUCKLES)</font>

1850
01:41:54,920 --> 01:41:56,251
I don't exist.

1851
01:41:58,680 --> 01:41:59,841
<font color="#808080">(THUNDER RUMBLING)</font>

1852
01:41:59,920 --> 01:42:01,570
I'm not even here.

1853
01:42:02,920 --> 01:42:04,410
I'm not even here.

1854
01:42:05,160 --> 01:42:06,241
Bang!

1855
01:42:12,560 --> 01:42:13,846
<font color="#808080">(THUNDER RUMBLING)</font>

1856
01:42:18,600 --> 01:42:19,601
Bang!

1857
01:42:29,440 --> 01:42:30,851
<font color="#808080">(AUDIENCE GASPS)</font>

1858
01:42:41,080 --> 01:42:42,320
<font color="#808080">(CHEERING)</font>

1859
01:43:02,560 --> 01:43:03,925
<font color="#808080">(WHISTLING)</font>

1860
01:43:12,120 --> 01:43:13,724
<font color="#808080">(DRUMS PLAYING)</font>

1861
01:44:05,240 --> 01:44:06,651
<font color="#808080">(KNOCKING ON DOOR)</font>

1862
01:44:13,520 --> 01:44:14,885
<font color="#808080">(SOFTLY)</font>
Is he up?

1863
01:44:15,160 --> 01:44:16,730
<font color="#804040">SYLVIA</font>: He just woke up.

1864
01:44:22,400 --> 01:44:24,209
I thought I lost you, buddy.

1865
01:44:25,880 --> 01:44:28,167
What the hell happened?
<font color="#808080">(MONITOR BEEPING)</font>

1866
01:44:28,560 --> 01:44:31,404
I was watching you onstage
and all of a sudden...

1867
01:44:31,720 --> 01:44:34,883
you had that goofy look in your eye
and you just... <font color="#808080">(LAUGHING)</font>

1868
01:44:35,200 --> 01:44:36,725
What is wrong with you?
He tried to...

1869
01:44:37,040 --> 01:44:41,204
I'm happy! He's alive!
My best friend is alive! And...

1870
01:44:42,040 --> 01:44:43,883
he's the fucking
man of the hour.

1871
01:44:44,080 --> 01:44:45,241
<font color="#804040">RIGGAN</font>: What is that?

1872
01:44:45,320 --> 01:44:46,401
You have to be shitting me.

1873
01:44:46,920 --> 01:44:47,921
Read it.

1874
01:44:48,200 --> 01:44:51,249
I don't believe this.
"The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance"?

1875
01:44:51,520 --> 01:44:52,521
Read it.

1876
01:44:52,920 --> 01:44:54,251
<font color="#808080">(SOFTLY)</font>
"By Tabitha Dickinson."

1877
01:44:54,320 --> 01:44:55,606
Read it out loud!

1878
01:44:56,240 --> 01:44:58,402
"Thomson has unwittingly
given birth"

1879
01:44:58,520 --> 01:45:01,091
"to a new form, which can
only be described as..."

1880
01:45:01,360 --> 01:45:03,089
"...super-realism."

1881
01:45:03,400 --> 01:45:06,085
"Blood was spilled both literally
and metaphorically"

1882
01:45:06,160 --> 01:45:07,730
"by artist and audience alike."

1883
01:45:07,920 --> 01:45:09,285
"Real blood."

1884
01:45:09,560 --> 01:45:11,369
"The blood that has
been sorely missing"

1885
01:45:11,440 --> 01:45:14,046
"from the veins
of American theater..."

1886
01:45:15,440 --> 01:45:17,442
You're happy about this?

1887
01:45:17,760 --> 01:45:19,728
Happy? I'm fucking euphoric!

1888
01:45:19,800 --> 01:45:22,451
This is the kind of review that turns
people into living legends!

1889
01:45:22,720 --> 01:45:24,404
He shot the nose off his face!

1890
01:45:24,600 --> 01:45:26,409
He got a new nose!

1891
01:45:26,480 --> 01:45:28,960
And if doesn't like that one,
we'll get him a new one!

1892
01:45:29,440 --> 01:45:31,442
We'll use Meg Ryan's guy.
Who cares?

1893
01:45:31,720 --> 01:45:33,927
They're lighting candles
for him in Central Park.

1894
01:45:34,000 --> 01:45:35,365
Turn on the TV.

1895
01:45:37,360 --> 01:45:38,361
<font color="#804040">REPORTER</font>: <i>A vigil
for actor Riggan Thomson.</i>

1896
01:45:38,640 --> 01:45:42,122
They're praying for him all over the country.
He did it. You did it!

1897
01:45:43,120 --> 01:45:46,283
I've been reborn, brother.
And I can see the future.

1898
01:45:46,640 --> 01:45:48,688
This play is going
to last forever.

1899
01:45:48,760 --> 01:45:50,728
It's going to open
in London, Paris.

1900
01:45:50,960 --> 01:45:52,371
The studio will call,

1901
01:45:52,440 --> 01:45:53,726
we're going to get book deals...
you'll see.

1902
01:45:53,960 --> 01:45:55,405
So you can see the future?

1903
01:45:55,480 --> 01:45:56,811
Yeah, I can!

1904
01:45:57,640 --> 01:46:00,803
How about that, huh?
Did you see that coming? Oh.

1905
01:46:02,000 --> 01:46:03,650
Why aren't you saying anything?

1906
01:46:04,640 --> 01:46:06,483
This is what you
wanted, wasn't it?

1907
01:46:07,000 --> 01:46:08,843
Riggan, this is what you wanted.

1908
01:46:11,000 --> 01:46:12,161
Yeah.

1909
01:46:12,320 --> 01:46:14,322
Yeah, this is what I wanted.

1910
01:46:14,480 --> 01:46:16,528
Okay, listen.
You're going to get hit

1911
01:46:16,640 --> 01:46:19,484
with a "brandishing
a weapon" charge.

1912
01:46:19,760 --> 01:46:22,240
If anybody talks to you
about it, it was an accident.

1913
01:46:22,520 --> 01:46:24,170
Is that what this was?

1914
01:46:25,160 --> 01:46:27,162
An accident? An accident.

1915
01:46:27,920 --> 01:46:28,921
<font color="#804040">REPORTER</font>: Did you intend
to shoot yourself!

1916
01:46:29,160 --> 01:46:33,370
You motherfuckers, this is a hospital!
Get the fuck out of here!

1917
01:46:33,680 --> 01:46:35,842
This is a hospital!
<font color="#808080">(REPORTERS CLAMORING)</font>

1918
01:46:36,360 --> 01:46:39,011
Get the fuck out, you assholes!

1919
01:46:39,360 --> 01:46:42,250
Out! This is a personal matter!

1920
01:46:42,320 --> 01:46:43,685
A personal matter!

1921
01:46:46,120 --> 01:46:48,521
<font color="#804040">REPORTER</font>: Hey, Sam!
What did you feel like

1922
01:46:48,600 --> 01:46:50,921
the night your father
tried to kill himself?

1923
01:46:51,000 --> 01:46:52,525
<font color="#808080">(CLAMORING CONTINUES)</font>

1924
01:47:03,520 --> 01:47:04,931
<font color="#808080">(MONITOR BEEPING)</font>

1925
01:47:17,880 --> 01:47:19,245
Lilacs.

1926
01:47:24,880 --> 01:47:25,881
<font color="#808080">(SNIFFING)</font>

1927
01:47:26,400 --> 01:47:27,401
<font color="#808080">(CHUCKLING)</font>

1928
01:47:27,720 --> 01:47:29,404
Are you laughing?

1929
01:47:29,720 --> 01:47:31,085
What's so funny?

1930
01:47:32,720 --> 01:47:34,404
I can't smell them.

1931
01:47:35,280 --> 01:47:36,725
<font color="#808080">(BOTH CHUCKLE)</font>

1932
01:47:37,880 --> 01:47:38,881
<font color="#808080">(SNORTING)</font>

1933
01:47:40,920 --> 01:47:42,285
What are you doing?

1934
01:47:42,360 --> 01:47:43,771
Posting a photo of you
on your Twitter page.

1935
01:47:44,000 --> 01:47:45,240
I have a Twitter page?

1936
01:47:45,320 --> 01:47:47,084
Yeah, I set it up today.

1937
01:47:47,680 --> 01:47:49,045
Let me see.
<font color="#808080">(SNIFFS)</font> No way.

1938
01:47:49,120 --> 01:47:50,451
You look hideous.

1939
01:47:50,680 --> 01:47:52,808
Oh, wow, thank you.
I appreciate it.

1940
01:47:52,880 --> 01:47:54,166
I'm just kidding.

1941
01:47:54,440 --> 01:47:56,920
No, I'm actually not.
You do look hideous.

1942
01:47:57,000 --> 01:47:58,206
<font color="#808080">(RIGGAN CHUCKLES)</font>

1943
01:47:58,280 --> 01:48:01,443
You got 80,000 followers
in less than a day.

1944
01:48:01,760 --> 01:48:02,921
Really?

1945
01:48:03,000 --> 01:48:04,126
I'm going to scare
the shit out of them.

1946
01:48:04,440 --> 01:48:05,521
Let me look at it.

1947
01:48:05,600 --> 01:48:06,601
Mmm-mmm. It's done.

1948
01:48:10,960 --> 01:48:13,611
Uh, I'm going to get
a vase for the flowers.

1949
01:48:38,600 --> 01:48:39,601
<font color="#808080">(SIGHING)</font>

1950
01:48:50,080 --> 01:48:51,081
<font color="#808080">(DOOR OPENS)</font>

1951
01:48:55,440 --> 01:48:56,441
<font color="#808080">(DOOR CLOSES)</font>

1952
01:49:04,280 --> 01:49:05,281
<font color="#808080">(SIGHS)</font>

1953
01:49:17,920 --> 01:49:18,921
Oh.

1954
01:49:31,320 --> 01:49:32,321
Ah.

1955
01:49:35,200 --> 01:49:36,201
Ah.

1956
01:49:42,960 --> 01:49:43,961
Ah.

1957
01:49:54,280 --> 01:49:56,521
<font color="#808080">(TOILET FLUSHING)</font>

1958
01:50:03,480 --> 01:50:04,481
<font color="#808080">(SIGHS)</font>

1959
01:50:14,720 --> 01:50:17,087
<font color="#804040">RIGGAN</font>: Bye-bye... and fuck you.

1960
01:50:33,000 --> 01:50:34,001
<font color="#808080">(SIGHS)</font>

1961
01:50:41,000 --> 01:50:42,729
<font color="#808080">(BIRDS CHIRPING)</font>

1962
01:50:44,520 --> 01:50:46,921
<font color="#808080">(SOARING MUSIC PLAYING)</font>

1963
01:51:32,560 --> 01:51:34,927
<font color="#808080">(DRUMS PLAYING SYNCOPATED JAZZ BEAT)</font>

1964
01:51:45,320 --> 01:51:46,321
Dad?

1965
01:51:48,320 --> 01:51:49,481
Dad?

1966
01:51:51,160 --> 01:51:52,241
Dad?

1967
01:51:57,280 --> 01:51:58,281
<font color="#808080">(PANTING)</font>

1968
01:52:11,320 --> 01:52:12,321
<font color="#808080">(GASPS)</font>

1969
01:52:17,400 --> 01:52:18,765
<font color="#808080">(SAM LAUGHING)</font>

1970
01:52:19,040 --> 01:52:20,041
<font color="#808080">(RIGGAN LAUGHING)</font>

1971
01:52:23,320 --> 01:52:25,004
<font color="#808080">(JAZZ CONTINUES)</font>

1972
01:54:08,320 --> 01:54:10,846
<font color="#808080">(PEOPLE TALKING INDISTINCTLY)</font>

1973
01:59:04,480 --> 01:59:06,642
<font color="#808080">(MUSICIAN SPEAKING SPANISH)</font>

1974
01:59:06,742 --> 01:59:11,742
Improved by: @Ivandrofly