Let's Swing our Legs

Let’s Swing our Legs [M4F] [Emotional] [Wholesome] [I want you to be happy] [You don’t have to be with me all the way through] [I’ll let you speak] mentions of [Euthanaisa] and [Cancer]

Synopsis:

Your boyfriend has been battling lung cancer and you’ve been visiting him in the hospital regularly since he was admitted. One night you open the door to his room and see his bed is empty. You then find a note on the nightstand that says “I’m on the roof.” You sprint through the hospital, dash up the stairs, and burst the door open... You see him sitting on the edge of the roof

Notes for Reader: The character you’re playing tries to avoid any talks about the seriousness of his conditions and loves to make fun and light of everything so try to act charismatic and funny in the beginning. Despite the listener trying to take care of you, try to act as if you want some independence.

[start]

[listener bashes the door open to the roof]

Hey…

Take a breather, you don’t wanna end up like me don’t ya.

[cough]

Sorry for scaring you, I just wanted you and me to look at something else other than my monitors, and so I found this view. The car headlights, the skyline… isn’t it beautiful?

[sarcastic playful tone]

I’m not gonna jump okay… I just wanted to have some thrill in my life.

I know I’m breaking some rules but can’t I live a little?

[slaps roof]

Come on, sit down. You really think I’d push you off.

I don’t think I have the strength to do that in this state.

[serious tone]

Stop worrying about me okay, I know my gown is going to get dirty and I’m gonna get my ass scolded.

shhh, the deed has already been done, might as well enjoy it.

Yeah, nothing has really changed since the last time you saw me, even with that scan they did recently.

I’m still trying to get my swallowing back to normal, and that’s even harder when I don’t really ever feel like eating

Hmm?

I’ve been feeling tired, but I’m pretty sure that’s just my life now.

 Also, you know I noticed a nasty ulcer in my mouth after you left last time.

Excuse me, he is not disgusting, don’t be rude he’s part of me!

[try to laugh but a cough forms in the middle]

I’m fine… seriously. I know when it’s normal and when something’s wrong.

I swear they’re not working me too hard, it may seem like I’m on everything but I’m really not.

I think you just miss my soft hair. [sigh] I miss it too.

[pause]

Dear God, I hope this doesn’t last forever. What did you want me to say to that question. “No, I would like to stay miserable my entire life.” of course I want this to end. Not for just me but for you too.

I want you to have fun in life.

I saw how concerned you were when they were explaining that chemo, Immuno, stereotactic bullshit, or whatever to you.

[giggle]

Of course, I know the names I’m just fucking with you.

You really thought about hitting me, didn’t you?

I kinda wish you could still do that

I mean you could but I don't think your morals are that fucked up, also that wouldn’t be a good example for your sister Hazel.

[cough then giggle]

The way your eyes widen so fast when I cough, it’s cute.

[deep breath]

How did I get up here? You see that red light on the other end? That’s an elevator…

The stairs were a little too hard on my joints.

I’m becoming an old man at this pace.

What!? I thought you liked older men!

[laugh]

Aren’t you feeling cold? You’re only wearing a long sleeve t-shirt and some jeans. I brought a blanket over there.

Aww c'mon, you aren’t even going to let me get you a blanket?

I know, I know, but I got up here by myself, I could at least do that

[listener sets ups blanket]

Funny how you’re leaning on me when I’m the one sick here.

[giggle]

You’re right, we’re both equally sick of this bullshit.

I wonder what it’s like now not having either of our parents have the doctor on speed dial to ask about what’s happening to me.

Doc? He’s like a weird godfather now. He’s nice but you know how he is…

Also, those cystic fibrosis guys are already doing that 6 ft apart thing… there were pros before all this stuff started

I used to actually have some substance to me, remember when I had some chub right here?

Now I’m just a skeleton compared to my past body.

I know that’s not going to stop you from hugging me.

Life’s a lot different now, time’s gone by way too fast. What was it? only a couple of years ago since we were cuddling in your bed watching romantic comedies. Just doesn’t feel the same in that boring-ass white room.

[pause]

[laugh happily]

I didn’t think snow would join us tonight.

I don’t remember the last time I touched snow…

All this time I’ve been watching it collect outside my window

I really want to stand up and move a little but…

[laugh]

Thank you for ending my sentence with that stare of yours.

I knew I could count on you.

Could I at least swing my legs?

Wow didn’t think you actually let me

Cmon, why don’t we swing our legs in unison…

No, umm stop, right first then left okay?

Ok, wait… 1,2,3, now!

See?

This is the most physical activity we’ve done together in the past few years

I’ll miss you

[take a moment and breathe quicker]

[cough heavily]

Relax, it’s not serious I swear.

Alright, alright, I know that blood came out...

I just don’t want you to worry…

[pause]

I know you want to know everything!

Look, what I said before about wanting you to have fun in life.

You matter to me, I know how you feel right now and that’s not how I want you to feel.

I don’t want to be scared that you’re gonna wake up one morning and get a phone call saying that I’m dead or walk in on me, flatline on my deathbed. The dread, the pain, the anxiousness is something that I’m giving you.

And I just [get interrupted]

Shut up!

[pause]

I lied about them not finding anything new.

That scan they did, I lit up like a Christmas tree…

I’m terminal… I know…

[struggle as if you’re being hugged too tight]

That’s a little too tight for my liking.

It’s okay

You can’t deny what I’m causing you to feel.

That's why I’m considering getting euthanized…

Shhhh, I know I’m going to be gone soon and I want this to end on our own terms.

You don’t have to be with me all the way through…

You don’t have to deal with my bullshit till the end…

That’s exactly what I want for you…

[deep breath and take a good pause]

Look what I’m doing to you right now

You’re fucking crying on top of a rooftop scared for my life.

I want it because I can’t imagine how you would feel when it does happen.

When I finally lose...

I don’t know the exact time I’m going to die.

But I would like to at least be near you when it happens.

I know you won’t let me go so easily, so please...

Please… just let thi- [gets kissed]

You haven’t done that in forever…

[listener puts hand over your mouth]

[muffled voice]

Alright, I’ll let you speak…


[pause, you may make noises as if you’re crying]

[soft spoken and emotional tone]

Uh- [struggle to look for words]

I’ll… okay, you’ve convinced me... I'll try to fight to the end just for you.

I’ll at least try…

[end]