I am done RPing

	Kogasa_Tatara	I have, never, never, threw up, cried, cut myself,
	Kogasa_Tatara	If you want to I can show you how my arm's bleeding, even though
	Kogasa_Tatara	it's just pencil stabs into my arm
	Kogasa_Tatara	because I am so, so hopeless
	Kogasa_Tatara	In just a few days I'll be out in the street
	Kogasa_Tatara	I don't know WHAT THE FUCK you people want from me beside for killing me
	Kogasa_Tatara	I don't even have a place to return to anymore
	Alynna	i wanted you...
	Kogasa_Tatara	I don't have a home, I don't have people that understand me
	Kogasa_Tatara	YOU DON'T
	Kogasa_Tatara	Else you'd helped me
	Kogasa_Tatara	You can't.
	Kogasa_Tatara	Nobody can.
	Kogasa_Tatara	Everyone just say that they do.
	Alynna	i dont even know how to help you
	Kogasa_Tatara	Then I am about to die and everyone goes "Oh well too bad"
	Kogasa_Tatara	OF COURSE YOU DON'T
	Kogasa_Tatara	NOBODY DOES
	Kogasa_Tatara	I HOPE YOU HAD FUN KILLING ME
	Kogasa_Tatara	ALL OF YOU
	Kogasa_Tatara	I am bleeding, crying
	Alynna	you do not think you hurt me?
	Kogasa_Tatara	what am I supposed to do?
	Kogasa_Tatara	Of course I've hurt you
	Kogasa_Tatara	but are you in mortal danger?
	Kogasa_Tatara	without me takling to you, are you oging to die?
	Kogasa_Tatara	I am going to die
	Kogasa_Tatara	and yet you want me to prevent myself from dying
	Kogasa_Tatara	to talk to you
	Alynna	i've lost so many people i cared about in the last month i can hardly take it anymore..
	Kogasa_Tatara	I know, I understand
	Kogasa_Tatara	But you do understand,
	Kogasa_Tatara	that I am so, so , so tired of living
	Kogasa_Tatara	right now
	Kogasa_Tatara	did you ever understand
	Kogasa_Tatara	I am so tired of living
	Kogasa_Tatara	getting fucked over, by everyone, everything, driven out of places where I belong, surely you understand that last part?
	Kogasa_Tatara	I don't have a plae to go to
	Kogasa_Tatara	all I can do now is to die
	Kogasa_Tatara	in a few days I won't have a home, internet,
	Kogasa_Tatara	strength to go on,
	Alynna	yep. And thats why I have no encouraging words for you
	Alynna	I don't sit here and have a defense of life.
	Kogasa_Tatara	what the fuck do you want me to do now? NOT fend off vultures circling over me and be with you?
	Kogasa_Tatara	I AM DYING
	Alynna	the only reason i could say, keep living, is because i would miss you. but then, i already do, because i never get to see you
	Kogasa_Tatara	For once I am bleeding
	Kogasa_Tatara	I haven't hurt myself since I was 12
	Kogasa_Tatara	it's been 12 years
	Kogasa_Tatara	not true, 14
	Kogasa_Tatara	I hrut myslef when I was 14
	Kogasa_Tatara	cut myself
	Kogasa_Tatara	so it's been 10 years
	Kogasa_Tatara	i am about done
	Kogasa_Tatara	keep living how?
	Kogasa_Tatara	How do I live?
	Alynna	I am going to be honest and say, i don't have an answer
	Kogasa_Tatara	you never get to see me, do you want to guess why?
	Kogasa_Tatara	I spend most of ym times
	Kogasa_Tatara	writing essay, writing resume
	Kogasa_Tatara	writing game design docs
	Kogasa_Tatara	writing
	Kogasa_Tatara	working
	Kogasa_Tatara	trying to get a job
	Kogasa_Tatara	survive
	Kogasa_Tatara	that's fine, then.
	Kogasa_Tatara	I'll be with you
	Kogasa_Tatara	fuck if I care fo ymself atm
	Kogasa_Tatara	Nobody ever thinks in my place, solve things for me
	Kogasa_Tatara	Always I've been the one doing it for everyone
	Kogasa_Tatara	And it's /everyone/, and I never get appreciated.
	Kogasa_Tatara	You don't appreciate me.
	Kogasa_Tatara	Kalinka don't appreciate me.
	Kogasa_Tatara	Tewi don't appreciate me
	Kogasa_Tatara	my parents don't appreciate me
	Kogasa_Tatara	Me being born is a mistake
	Kogasa_Tatara	Everyone hate me
	Kogasa_Tatara	You hate me.
	Kogasa_Tatara	Stop lying to yourself.
	Kogasa_Tatara	You hate me.
	Kogasa_Tatara	All of you hate me.
	Kogasa_Tatara	And it that hate that kills me.
	Alynna	i dont hate you, if I hated you i wouldn't even care. I'd go to bed right now.
	Kogasa_Tatara	I don't hate anyone,
	Kogasa_Tatara	...
	Kogasa_Tatara	You are always like this.
	Alynna	how?
	Kogasa_Tatara	Just like everyone else.
	Kogasa_Tatara	Saying that "I care for you", but goes aruond and kicks me away
	Kogasa_Tatara	Ran Yakumo shouts "You yerf, "I'll probably bring Misty back and retcon Kogasa completely out of my life" -- you hear that kogasa? you never existed to me" (Wiz-@all-shout)
	Kogasa_Tatara	If that's how you want to do it, then fine.
	Kogasa_Tatara	it's not like I ever mattered for anyone in the first plae
	Alynna	you don't have any idea how hurt i have been
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	Kogasa_Tatara	and /you/ don't have any idea how hurt I have been
	Alynna	probably not.
	Kogasa_Tatara	then why do you ask for something you didn't even /attempt/ to?
	Kogasa_Tatara	Why ask for something you yourself can't even offer or do?
	Kogasa_Tatara	Why be a hypocrite? Why not judge yourself first before others?
	Kogasa_Tatara	WHy judge me?
	Alynna	how can i know how hurt you are when you have not talked to me? Why did it take THIS for me to know?
	Kogasa_Tatara	Why judge someone that's in despair, and push them with the last straw on the back?
	Kogasa_Tatara	You've never listened
	Kogasa_Tatara	All these time I've said I was hurt
	Kogasa_Tatara	Nobody, nobody listened
	Kogasa_Tatara	Tewi didn't listen
	Kogasa_Tatara	Kalinka didn't listen
	Kogasa_Tatara	you didn't listen
	Kogasa_Tatara	Komachi didnt listen
	Alynna	all we can offer is ourselves. And I WAS doing that.
	Kogasa_Tatara	Rumia... Rumia did.
	Kogasa_Tatara	No you are not
	Kogasa_Tatara	you are /threatening/ me
	Kogasa_Tatara	You want me to the point where you pulled a knife on my throat
	Kogasa_Tatara	and asked me to be with you
	Kogasa_Tatara	What don't you realize what you are doing is likely to KILL me?
	Alynna	thats not true, by this point i had simply given up
	Kogasa_Tatara	Do you know how long I haven't been Kogasa?
	Kogasa_Tatara	I haven't been in character for 3 months now
	Kogasa_Tatara	Imagine yourself not being in character for that period of time. Unwillingly
	Kogasa_Tatara	Can you?
	Kogasa_Tatara	Rob yourself of sense of yourself.
	Kogasa_Tatara	Then try to reach out to others
	Kogasa_Tatara	you can't
	Kogasa_Tatara	because you'll find it's hard to just exist.
	Kogasa_Tatara	Nobody cared enough to talk to me.
	Kogasa_Tatara	Beside for Rumia.
	Kogasa_Tatara	Kalinka doesn't talk to me. We play together, but she doesn't really talk to me.
	Kogasa_Tatara	You definitely don't talk to me.
	Kogasa_Tatara	Since you have given up, it's fine.
	Kogasa_Tatara	People will give up on me.
	Kogasa_Tatara	All of you.
	Kogasa_Tatara	One by one.
	Alynna	i never wanted to give up
	Kogasa_Tatara	Then I'll die in peace.
	Kogasa_Tatara	That's a lie.
	Kogasa_Tatara	If you never wanted to give up, you'd talked me to.
	Kogasa_Tatara	you would've done something.
	Kogasa_Tatara	Even bad things, you would've done something
	Kogasa_Tatara	But you never did.
	Kogasa_Tatara	All you did was sit there and wait for someone dying on the floor
	Kogasa_Tatara	to suddenly spring up and talk to you
	Alynna	how can I talk to you when you haven't even been in your channel and even left the room we used to hang out in
	Alynna	i just thought you didn't want anything to do with me anymore
	Kogasa_Tatara	how the fuck do I know? Nobody ever talks in my channel /ever/ beside for Zelinko and I don't reall y say there
	Kogasa_Tatara	you have me on steam, yet you never talked to me. You could've paged me, yet you never did
	Kogasa_Tatara	I go to slepe, wake up
	Kogasa_Tatara	and see you threatening me
	Kogasa_Tatara	what the fuck do you want? Kill me?
	Alynna	nope
	Kogasa_Tatara	Becuase you did that well
	Kogasa_Tatara	really well
	Kogasa_Tatara	more so than anything you've done
	Kogasa_Tatara	I am done now. I've always been struggling.
	Kogasa_Tatara	You broke me.
	Kogasa_Tatara	I'll never be whole again. I'll always been missing that crucial part of personality.
	Kogasa_Tatara	You like "Kogasa", not "the person behind Kogasa".
	Kogasa_Tatara	Since I am not longer Kogasa, ever,
	Kogasa_Tatara	it really doesn't matter.
	Alynna	You have no idea how untrue that is.
	Kogasa_Tatara	How do you know?
	Kogasa_Tatara	How do you know how I feel about the whole ordeal?
	Kogasa_Tatara	How do you know anything about how I feel?
	Kogasa_Tatara	How do you know how badly I've been hurt all these time?
	Alynna	because, i was never interested in you merely as a character.
	Kogasa_Tatara	That answered nothing.
	Kogasa_Tatara	How do you know how I felt?
	Kogasa_Tatara	How do you know how me, I, felt?
	Kogasa_Tatara	You can't.
	Kogasa_Tatara	Yet you claim that you do.
	Kogasa_Tatara	What is wrong with you?
	Alynna	I don't know how you felt, only that I know how I felt.
	Kogasa_Tatara	Then don't CLAIM THAT I HAVE NO IDEA ABOUT ANYTHING
	Kogasa_Tatara	You are worse than Kaguya.
	Kogasa_Tatara	Kaguya just striked me down
	Kogasa_Tatara	You are the one killed me
	Kogasa_Tatara	You just killed a Roleplayer's personality for that character permanently.
	Kogasa_Tatara	I hope you are happy.
	Alynna	i knew i was going to regret all this...
	Kogasa_Tatara	You are the one that's incapable of anything and blames it on me.
	Kogasa_Tatara	You blamed it on me.
	Kogasa_Tatara	Me.
	Kogasa_Tatara	You blamed it on me.
	Kogasa_Tatara	That is what I hate the most about a person.
	Kogasa_Tatara	People blaming me for their own personal failure.
	Kogasa_Tatara	Kaguya did that, Remilia did that
	Alynna	i am sorry...
	Kogasa_Tatara	And now you did that.
	Kogasa_Tatara	I have to say this:
	Kogasa_Tatara	You have no right to judge Remilia to be a bad person like this.
	Kogasa_Tatara	You are just as bad as Remilia. And Kaguya.
	Kogasa_Tatara	I trusted you.
	Kogasa_Tatara	I shouldn't... ever have trusted anyone.
	Alynna	please don't say these things, i'm so sorry..
	Kogasa_Tatara	...
	Kogasa_Tatara	Give me... a few days to cool off.
	Kogasa_Tatara	I might not have internet in a few days.
	Kogasa_Tatara	Who knows.
	Alynna	i will hurt forever if i never get to talk to you again..
	Alynna	not that that matters, its what i deserve