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- >be me, bonky
- >with my friend pickle homer
- >we're hanging out with our friend Yuichi Yokoyama
- >we're treating him as a font of universal knowledge
- >because he's japanese
- >he's actually kind of an idiot
- >but everything he says has the distinct flavor of his home country
- >so it all seems extravagantly genius to us
- >we ask him about his favorite books
- >he says, "all book"
- >we ask him about his favorite movies
- >he says, "all movie"
- >we ask him about his favorite music
- >he says, "all music"
- >we ask him about his favorite writers
- >he says, "all writer"
- >he just wants to get rid of us
- >but he can't
- >we're in love with him
- >we ask him about his favorite poets
- >he says, "all poet"
- >we ask him about his favorite songs
- >he says, "all song"
- >we ask him about his favorite buildings
- >he says, "all building"
- >we ask him about his favorite cities
- >he says, "all city"
- >he's trying to shop but he can't with us around
- >he's trying to meet japanese girls but he can't with us around
- >he's trying to relax in the sauna but he can't with us around
- >we keep asking him about his favorite things
- >he keeps saying, "all thing"
- >he's trying to eat but he can't with us around
- >he's trying to sleep but he can't with us around
- >he can't escape us
- >he can't escape our overwhelming love
- >we tell him we're kind of japanophiles
- >he tells us we're actually kind of stupid
- >we take him to his favorite restaurant
- >we take him to his favorite bar
- >we tell him we're kind of alcoholics
- >he buys us drinks
- >we buy us drinks
- >we buy the bar drinks
- >we're drinking
- >we're out of control
- >we're turning japanese!
- >i think we're turning japanese!
- >i really think so!
- >Yuichi Yokoyama tells us he's taking us to his favorite place
- >he takes us out into the alley beside the bar
- >he tells us to climb up this ladder
- >we climb up this ladder
- >we climb up this ladder
- >we're climbing up this ladder!
- >we're climbing up this ladder!
- >he shoves it over
- >we fall
- >we're falling!
- >we're falling!
- >we're falling and falling and falling!
- >we hit the sidewalk
- >we're hitting the sidewalk!
- >we're hitting the sidewalk hard!
- >i break my arm
- >pickle homer breaks his ribs
- >Yuichi Yokoyama is laughing
- >he says he's going to take us to his favorite place next
- >we're crying
- >he takes us to Takeshi's Challenge
- >we're sobbing
- >he makes us run Takeshi's Challenge
- >we're being assailed by boulders
- >we're being blindsided by traps
- >we're slumping over hurdles
- >we're falling into the water
- >each time, he makes us repeat the challenges
- >we're scared
- >we're dying from Takeshi's Challenge
- >he whips us as we try and cross the obstacles
- >he admits to nanking
- >he tells us he's going to nanking our families
- >we've unleashed the inner demon behind his quiet exterior
- >i belly flop in the water
- >i am floating in the water
- >i am gurgling and crying in the water
- >i am trying to have a private moment to myself with my pain
- >Yuichi lunges into the water
- >his movements are wild and untamed
- >he grabs me by the hair
- >he shoves me into the water
- >the water shoots up into my nose and down my throat
- >he's drowning me
- >he's drowning me and i can't stop him
- >i can't stop him
- >i can't
- >out of the corner of my eye i spot a sunlit body in the water
- >it's pickle homer
- >he grabs Yuichi
- >he's crying
- >he's telling Yuichi he just appreciates his culture so much
- >he's telling Yuichi he just wants a japanese friend
- >he's telling Yuichi he's hoping Yuichi will teach him to be more japanese
- >pickle homer starts helping Yuichi drown me
- >i've stopped struggling
- >i've stopped resisting
- >i must die honorably
- >in the japanese way
- >Yuichi would have wanted it this way
- >Yuichi would be proud of me
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