a guest Nov 21st, 2018 238 Never
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- Normally when I am tired the only thing I wish to do is sleep. This time, however, I had a far different idea in mind. The idea was simple enough, originally it was just to get more in tune with meditation and such, little did I know that my ultimate goal would draw ever closer. It was about 11 when I settled into bed. I slid down and made myself somewhat comfortable. I made sure to lay on my back rather than my side, so I would not fall asleep.
- I laid there; I figured I could be more relaxed laying there then in the stereotypical legs crossed- open palm position. Given there was nothing else to create white noise I began to focus on my breath. In and out, in and out. I made every breath deep, through the nose. Not only did I find this more relaxing but it also produced more noise. I felt my chest raise and fall with every coming breath. My hands rested on top.
- My mind was still racing. Unimportant thoughts, random odds and ends, nothing even worth remembering. I did my best to just let them pass. I knew I couldn’t try to force them out, that would really break my concentration. In and out, in and out. “Focus on my breath” I thought. Listen to that sound. I tried but my mind was still cluttered.
- Next I proceed to raise my right hand so my wrist was off the covers but my bent elbow was resting. I remembered reading somewhere that this will let you know when you’re in a deep meditative state, for your hand will fall. It couldn’t have been more than a minute that my hand itself when limp. My arm however remained standing, that was what I was really waiting to fall.
- I continued to focus on my breath and try to ignore the ever pestering thoughts that would make their way into my head. I tried to let them pass, but as soon as one would leave it felt as if another had come. But still, I couldn’t think about it. I had to space out, focus on nothing.
- As I felt the tension leave my body, it was replaced by an almost numbness. I was in a state in which I could not move my limbs with ease, granted I didn’t try too hard, for it would break my concentration. It was still and interesting position to be in. I felt immobile, I truly did. And it was only a matter of time till my raised arm fell limp and landed on my chest. Not hard enough to startle me, nor did I lose my concentration.
- I then move that arm to rest comfortably on my stomach and it isn’t long until the numbness overtakes it. The cluttering, bothersome thoughts continue to slosh about my head for no better reason than to try to get in my way, disrupt my flow of concentration. Then suddenly it hit me. These thoughts, though present, never actually disrupted my thinking. Does that mean I was ready to try to see what could be done?
- “Hello?” I called out from within my head. I didn’t actually psychically hear it. It was much like as one reads this then they will realize that there is a voice that inside their head as they read this. And in the case of a book, where multiple characters are present they would have different voices for certain characters.
- “Hello.” It was a response, not that of my own voice inside my head. This was certainly a different voice, but was it from who I wished it to be?
- “Derpy? Is that you?” I asked. Given all I could see this entire time was nothingness I wasn’t entirely sure. This entire conversation played more out like a book then anything. Something my conscious, and possibly sub-conscious, could better understand rather than manipulating the senses. And for right now I still would consider it a huge success.
- “Of course it is!” She replied. My heart felt like it had stopped. I was talking to Derpy Hooves. Seriously talking to her, or at least what a perceived to be her. Unfortunately as happy as I was, my nerves hit me, like a rock. At first I was speechless. I didn’t know what to say, my combination of nervousness and amazed joy overwhelmed me.
- As a person, I have a hard time talking to people I don’t know. And on top of that I have a more difficult time talking to someone I don’t want to make a fool of myself in front of, if you catch my drift. I am also terrible at keeping a conversation going in general, and of course I realize this after I we started talking.
- “So, uh, how are you?” I asked. Simple enough question I suppose. Most people, and I would imagine ponies, are asked this at least once a day, so I tend to use it as my “I don’t know what to say, but I don’t want to look stupid” question, in hope that they will say something I can play off of to keep the conversation going.
- “Good, you?” She replied. There was nothing to play off of, which is I guess. That’s usually how I would respond if asked the same question.
- “That’s good,” I said, “I’m fine. So I take it your done with your route? Dinky still in school?” Now that I look back on that, it was a rather stupid series of questions. If she wasn’t done with her route, she probably wouldn’t be talking to me. And if Dinky was out of school odd are she would either be present of Derpy would be trying to get back to her.
- “Yes I am, and yes, yes she is. Sometimes school goes a little longer or my route is a little shorter.” Given it was probably about 11:10 or so when she said this, school must be VERY late. Then again maybe Equestian time works differently than here on earth. Then again, I’m unsure that realism of time is vital given I'm talking to a pony from a Television show.
- “Doesn’t seem like a very tight schedule” I replied. I’m not gonna lie, any schedule where I can done early is one I can get into.
- “They don’t mind so long as the letters get there on time.” She said. Again sounds like an amazing schedule.
- “We as humans have to schedule every minute of every day, I would just love to kick like Rainbow Dash and relax” I said. And it was true. That always really annoyed me how we schedule so much of our lives. I didn’t show any real emotion with that statement.
- Once again I was swept away by nothing more than the fact that she was Derpy Hooves. That alone was an amazing fact. And given any feelings I may or may not have felt toward the mare it was all the more amazing.
- “You’re just awesome, ya know that.” I said and I wasn’t till later did I realize how stupid that was to say. I mean that was borderline with “I like shorts; they are comfortable and easy to wear”.
- She laughed. “I’m just a regular old Pegasus.” She replied. She wasn’t laughing at me, not like I had made a fool of myself. It was kinda like “I’m flattered” sorta laugh. It was only after this did I really realized how stupid I just sounded. I had to change the subject, quickly. Also I think that she was unaware of how I felt about her.
- “Ya know I’ve been meaning to ask…” I said trailing off. It had be a question that I had wondered every sense I knew she was also named Ditsy Do.
- “What?” She said. Her voice sounded of true curiosity.
- “Is ‘Derpy’ like a nickname or…” I said again trailing off. I knew that it very well may be sensitive and I didn’t want to upset her. Then again she didn’t take offense when I called her Derpy the first time.
- “It is a nickname, but ya know, whatever.” She said. She didn’t seem to mind her nickname. I sorta understood how she felt, just being comfortable with a nickname.
- “I know how that is, I’ve gotten plenty of nicknames.” I replied. And it was true, over the years I have earned a long list of nicknames. Most of them I have forgotten.
- “Like what?” She asked.
- As I went into the explanation of one of my nicknames, I must of lost concentration. Next thing I recall I starring up in the ceiling wishing I wasn’t. I looked at the clock 18 or 20 minutes have passed. Welp. There wasn’t much to do now other than record what had happened and go to bed.
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