Monkey Business Ch. 5 - I'd Rather Be Fishing

"Anon, if yer gonna play with a stick for two hours, why doncha just go jerk it behind those bushes for two minutes instead?"
>"Because even with all that friction going on, nothing's gonna catch fire."
"I wonder how many girls said DAT to ya."
>"Just don't say anything!  Don't open your mouth for like, five minutes.  I can do this.  I mean, I'm following all the directions in this damn book.  I'm doing what the pictures are telling me to do."
>You pick up the twigs and foliage in raw hands.
>"I've got the materials and the iron will to pull this off but It's Just!" You throw your hands in the air, "NOT!" You fall to your knees. "HAPPENING!"  You throw your failure of basic human engineering into the all-encompassing jungle.
>Dumptruck picks along the leaves and dirt on the ground.  Swindly Tim was still passed out from the dart, nestled safely in the high trees above.
"Honestly, I don't see what's so great about this 'fire' thing.  Gives me the shakes just looking at it.  All glowy and hot, ain't natural, I tell ya.  Well, it is natural, but I won't give two damns for it."
>"Okay, so fire scares you?"
"Fire don't scare me.  Lions scare me.  Tango slitherin' near me with an empty stomach scares me.  Trees tipping over and knocking my balls flat while I'm sleepin' scare me.  Fire's just another thing that I  don't feel like fuckin' worrying about."
>"Well, I'll have you know that lions are scared of fire.  And Tango.  And anything else here with sharp teeth and a bad disposition.  If I can get a torch or a campfire or something burning nice and hot-"
"Aren't you always bitchin' that it's too hot here?"
>"IT IS TOO FREAKING HOT HERE!"  You take a second to calm yourself. This smothering humidity was going to kill you before anything else in the jungle would, you'd bet five bucks on it.  "But, if we can use it to defend ourselves, then I'll put up with it.  It'll keep us warm at night and keep the hungry predators away.  We'll know what's going on around us at night and I can use it to cook food."
"I'm telling ya, just eat the bugs."
>Dumptruck picks up a monstrous larvae from a rotting log.  It's fat, yellow and covered with thousands of nubby red legs and looks entirely too delicious for something so disgusting.
>Yes, you're hungry. Bugs are looking better and better every second.  But you're not *that* desperate yet.
>You're just being stubborn.  Hell, even the guide book that DT and Swindly Tim snitched said that bugs were good for you in a pinch.  There was an all-too comprehensive guide that explained which bugs  were the best sources for nutrition.
>"I'm not going to eat RAW bugs.  They've been crawling around, in, and under all sorts of crap I don't even want to imagine."
"Well, if you're not gonna eat the bugs, can we at least pop open the whiskey?"
>"Soon.  Very, very soon.  But I don't want to get smash-faced on an empty stomach.  And something like that needs to be earned."   You wanted that drink.  You wanted it bad.  You haven't had a drop of liquor, in...three days?  Entirely too long.  But no, you wanted to savor this.
>There was a slight risk of getting absolutely pissed and running into a few predators, but whatever.  If you're not living on the edge then you're taking up too much room.  All the same, you didn't want to just dive into that huge bottle of Applejack Daniels.
>"Once I get this fire started and cook us some god-honest food, we're going to feast and drink like goddamned kings, Dumptruck."
"So at this rate we're looking at what?  Twenty years?"
>You don't say anything.  You fear the monkey may be right.  You pick up your copy of "The Golden Plains Survival Guide for Everypony!" and look over the diagrams for starting a fire.  You're doing everything you're supposed to!  Maybe the grass you're using is too wet.  You consider walking out to the savannah again and collect some drier grass, but  you're too tired to walk that far.
>"Hey Dump?"
"Mmm?"
>"Is there any nearby place that isn't covered in nasty jungle sweat?  I think I can get this workin if I can get some dry materials to work with."
"Well...there's the river banks.  Pull out dat map of yours."
>You do.  You've been able to get a rough estimation of your current location in this depressingly huge preserve.
>You stare at the insignificantly small dot that represents you.  You look at the distance to the fence marking the park boundries.  You want to cry a little bit.
>He sticks a small furry finger towards a blue trail and follows it.
"See this curvy loopy bit right here?"
>"Yes."
"The one that looks like your pecker?"
>"Yes."
"Sometimes other monkeys like to go down here and pick at seashells and try to pick up some of da fish that swim near the shore.  Other animals just like to go there and lay out in da sun 'cus Crocodiles mostly don't hang out here."
>"Only mostly?"
"Mainly mostly.  If there's no crocs then there's probably a hippo or two swimming through there.  Fat, chunky bastids.  As long as we stay outta dere way, we'll be fine.  Just don't think of goin' fer a swim."
>"Should we be scared of hippos."
"Ya damn straight we should be scared of da damn hippos.  You see the size of their teeth?  You see da size of their everything else?  Fuck hippos, man.  Meanest sons of bitches in the water."
>"Okay, okay, avoid the hippos."
"Alright."
>He climbs onto the top of your head which is now his undisputed kingdom.
"AND LISTEN TA ME THIS TIME!"
>He slaps your scalp.
"Don't do any stupid shit like back at the pool.  Yer gonna get me kicked out of every damn biome in this place, cripes."
>"Fine, fine, I'll listen."  As much as you hate to say it, you would be better off listening to what the capuchin has to say.  He's condescending, an asshole, and an overall bad influence, but he hasn't lied to you...yet.
>You gather up your tools and guidebooks that you have spread across the base of a tree and carefully stuff them into your pack.
>As you arrange your stash of incredibly important survival goods your eye catches the glitter on the bottle of Applejack Daniels.
>You take special note of the label.  The use of its simple, elegant black and white lettering that bears the name of one of your friends that are so far away and with no idea of where you've dissappeared to.
>You wonder if Applejack misses you.
>...
>Do any of them miss you?
>You didn't exactly have a *bad* relationship with any of them.
>Twilight might worry about you.  Sometimes you and her had your spats, but she knew you were incredibly grateful to her and you'd do damn near anything for the mare.  Applejack thought you were funny.  Stupid, but funny.  Fluttershy was...well, it was hard to read that mare sometimes, but she didn't go into fainting spells whenever you showed up anymore.  Pinkie Pie was always a blast to be around, but she was so bubbly and open with everyone else that you had to wonder just how close to her you really are.
>Rainbow Dash misses you, of course.  The two of you did a lot together.  Drink, watch TV, play videogames, talk about glorious nothing until three in the morning and generally act like foul-mouthed assholes to each other, along with...other...stuff.
>In fact, you're certain her mixture of brashness and loyalty made up the pillars that kept you from going insane when you first showed up in Equestria.  Quite possibly why you haven't gone insane yet.  She HAS to miss you.
>Right?
>No, no.  You're being stupid Anon.  You trust her.  Alot.  She'd fight tooth and hoof for you. If you didn't then you wouldn't have sent her the postcard.  That thing was your best shot of getting out of this place and it was heading straight for Rainbow, riding on the cost of two bits and all of your hopes and deams.
>So why didn't that make you feel any better?
>Dumptrack taps on your head.
"Hey, you alright down there, guy?"
>"Huh?  Oh, yeah, I'm fine.  Just -just thinking."
"Well, don't hurt yerself.  You're gonna want to start walking that way."
>He points along an opening grove of trees.
>"What about Tim?"
"Oh, right."  He stands up and cups his hands around his mouth. "HEY TIM, WE'RE GONNA GO DOWN TO DA RIVER AND SET SHIT ON FIRE.  NO DRUGS OR NUFFIN'."
>You hear the cry of birds and a passing anteater tells you to shut the hell up, but the unconcious and drugged-up Tim is silent.
"See, he don't care.  He's safe where he is and he'll be the happiest goddamn clam once he wakes up."
>"If you're sure..."
"Oh yeah, I'm sure.  Just a fair word of warning, though -the second you crack open dat bottle Tim is gonna come running for us.  Just...just don't let it out of yer sight 's all I'm sayin'."
>"Well, he did earn a shot."
"Oh, I ain't sayin' he don't deserve a share, but he'll try to take off with ALL da shares, y'know?"
>"Hmm."
"Okay, 'nuff talkin', more walkin'.  C'mon Leggy Magee."
>You are spurred on, despite yourself.  Hopefully the trip to the river and the constant nagging from your stomach will take your mind off of your worries.

-----

MEANWHILE!
>You're Rarity again.
>And it's just...wonderful.
>Yes...everything is always wonderful.
>You're wearing your favorite sun hat of the week.  A loose-weave cream-and-purple affair with a very generous curve along the brim.
>But not overdone.  That was very important.  You've learned how to effortlessly appear genteel without looking outright aristocratic.
>That was the key -to look astounding as if it was completely natural.
>It's important to keep in mind flowers.  The most striking, the most flower in the field only needed as little as sunshine and water to be so radiant.
>A humbling lesson.
>So just think about flowers, Rarity.
"I just...I'm worried about him.
>You're spending lunch with Twilight.  Your edges have been feeling frayed recently.  Well, not frayed.  'Frayed' is such an uncomfortable word.
>Wrinkled.  That works better.  Your edges have been wrinkled.  Yes.  And you hoped spending time with the most level-headed mare you knew would sooth your nerves.
"It's just not like him.  Just up and leaving?  It's so, so -it just seems like something that would take too much initiative for him!"
>You levitate your cup of tea to your lips to sneak a few precious seconds of thought.  She won't stop talking about Him.
>Why is everyp0ny so worked up over that brute?  You thought you were doing a service for the town.
>Rainbow Dash was exhausting herself scouring p0nyville and the countryside for any sign of him.  Now SHE looked frayed.  You tried to talk some sense into her, but she would simply not relent.
>Twilight rubbed her forehead.
"That was a terrible thing to say.  'Too much initiative.'  He's done so much for us and that's what I have to say about him."
>"No, no Twilight, you're right."  You titter as you set down your cup.  "You always had to force him out of that mismatched house of his just to get him to socialize."
"In the beginning, yes.  But he was still nervous then."
>"And when you did finally wriggle the snail out of its shell, look how he behaved.  Loud.  Obnoxious.  He was always touching...things."  You shudder.  You remember a day he came in to order new clothes.  He kept running his oily fingers across your delicate swatches and bumbled all over your mannequins like a drunken minotaur.  Twilight sighs in exhaustion as she remembers when he first arrived.
>"Maybe he just decided he wasn't happy here?  Some species are migratory afterall. They eat all the food in a given area and then move on."
"Anon didn't even eat that much."
>"Well, I'm quite sure I don't know why he left.  But he's gone.  Possibly forever."  Hopefully, you say in your head.
"But where would he even want to go?  Rainbow told me about that letter.  Did he seem upset when he came to you?"
>You set your forehooves on the table and straighten your back, "Well, erm, you see -it was so late when he came and he was in such a rush...I simply could not..."
>Those large purple eyes focus on you with all the forelorness of a puppy dog.
>"He seemed perhaps a teensy-mite upset."
"I knew it.  What could bother him so much?  Why would he not want to talk it over with any of us?"  She laid her head on the table.
>"Well, there was that absolutely horrible fiasco with Hoity Toity those few days ago.  Perhaps that finally pushed him over the edge."
>Twilight grimaced.  She remembered that night well.  You ALL remembered that night well.  Every last single frame of chaos and debauchery that he directly caused would be etched into your forebrain until the day you die.
"That was a nasty piece of work any way you look at it.  Maybe leaving for a little while after something like that, I could understand.  Not approve of.  I still think he would've tried to talk to some of us.  He knows we care about him.  Rainbow Dash alone..."
>You tilt your head slightly so that the brim of your hat hides your eyes from her.  First Dash, and now Twilight. You thought Twilight was supposed to be the rational one.  Surely of all p0nies she would understand what a relief it was to have him relocated.  Maybe in time they would see how things could be better, how they WOULD be better with him gone.
>But you could bear to give the poor girl a little sympathy.
>"I'm sure if we leave him to his own devices he can work this out on his own.  Twilight, everyone needs a little distance from time-to-time.  Anon apparently needed more distance than most."  You pat her hoof.  "Maybe you should just focus on something else for a while.  I can't bear to see you all slouched into yourself like this."
"I suppose you're right.  It's just...something seems off about this."
>"Oh Twilight, don't tell me you think there's some kind of foul play involved like Dash?"
"No, I don't think so.  I just can't see Anon leaving.  It just goes against the grain of what he's been doing here."
>A waiter approaches and places two dandelion sandwhiches between the pair of you.  Twilight pokes at it dismissively.
"You know he still comes to me for check-ups once or twice a month."
>You were about to take a bite of your meal.
>"Oh...right.  He's still worried about his 'condition?'  I thought you said he was completely fine?"  Twilight snaps her head at you and nods vigorously.
"He is.  Nothing wrong with him at all.  He just gets anxious about it, I suppose.  I tell him to go to the doctor so he can get definitive proof, but apparently I'm the only one he trusts about it."
>"Now I can understand that.  You're a very trustworthy girl.  And..." you take a deep breath, "he would have reason to trust you with such...matters."
"Heart problems can be very scary to some people."
>"Naturally.  But you are -sure- he's  one hundred percent fine?"
>She nods.  That's all you need.
>You simply wanted Anon out of the picture.  You didn't actually want him injured in any horrific way.
>Alright, you wanted him a little injured.  Preferably through his own idiocy and rudeness.
>But your conscience didn't like the idea of him having a heart attack or whatever his problem was because you removed him from his medical confidante.
>"Now why are we talking about such a grim subject?  These sandwhiches simply look to delicious to be soured like this."
>Twilight takes a bite of her sandwhich and chews thoughtfully.
"They have the best dandelions here."
>"Yes...aren't they just wonderful?"
>She smiles.
>"That's better, dear.  It's just criminal to see you frowning.  You look simply beautiful when you smile."
>You take a bite of your own sandwhich.  The bread is soft.  The flowers are smooth and moist.
>So why doesn't it taste all that wonderful?
----------------
>You are Anon.
>And you are not having a good time.
>Dumptruck led you to the riverbanks without incident.
>You've gathered dried sticks and foliage that have been cooking out on the sunny and sandy riverside.
>The directions in the manual have been followed to a T, but all you can get is a few pitiful whisps of smoke and horrible friction burns on the palm of your hands.
>"CRAP!"  You throw the sticks away.  "Okay, break time."  You scratch at your chest.
"Oh thank goodness.  At this rate I was worried you're gonna burn down da whole forest, Smokey."
>Dumptruck was reclining on a fallen log.  There were few other animals on your side of the river.  Some smaller mammals would waddle up to the clear bank of the water to drink, or wash off and relieve themselves from the heat.
>You could see fish of different sizes swimming near the shore.
>You got an idea.
>"You know what I need?"
"A girlfriend?"
>"No.  Motivation.  What good is a fire if I don't have anything to cook?"
"Hell if I know."
>"Very little damn good is what.  We're going to get some fish."
"You keep saying 'we.'  Ya got some invisible friend hanging around?  Didja make all dem bugs in yer hair your new best buds or somethin'?"
>"They may as well be. It's not you, that's for sure."
>He flips you off.
>You flip him off.
>"Now that we're in agreement."  You point towards a branch that stretches far over the rivers edge.  "Do you think you can climb up there and act as a look-out?"
>He looks at the branch.  He looks at you like you're a crazy person.
"Ya want me to go waltzin' over da branch that's known to have hippos and the occosional croc.  You know they can jump, right?"
>"How high can they jump?"
"Entirely too frickin' high."
>"Aw c'mon, the water's clear enough to know if they're coming or not.  And I'll actually be in the water, so they'll come after me first."
"You're making less and less sense here."
>"It'll work like this -I go into the water's edge.  Maybe like, five feet out.  You watch the water and tell me which way the fish are coming, and warn me if you see anything bigger than me that looks hungry.  You don't actually have to do anything, just act as sentinel!"  There's a warthog lounging next to the river.
"I've heard worse plans."
>The capuchin raps his knuckles a few times against the log.
"Alright, alright.  But I ain't going out that far on dat branch.  An if I say croc, you get outta the water or I'm gonna die laughing when half of yer ass goes missin'."
>He clambers up the curvy tree.  He stops at the base of the branch and surverys the river before edging out over the water.
"Looks clear from up here.  Crapload school of fish headed 'dis way actually.  Poor bastids don't know what kind of relentless doom dey headin' towards, huh?"
>"Do you ever turn off the sarcasm?"
"That's like...my primary weapon.  Big teeth 'n sharp claws?  Fuck that noise.  I've smack-talked lepeords to death."
>"I can almost believe that." You say as you wade out into the river, being careful not to go too deep.  If dumptruck says there's even the slightest hint of danger you fully intend to split air by getting out of the water so fast.  That and you're still afraid of small fish that might swim up your peehole and turn your balls into a two-room apartment.
>Alright...okay.
>You see the fish heading towards you.
>You spread your heands and bend over the water.
>You wait.  You are the crane.  You are the lightning.  You are like that really patient animal that everyone reveres.
>Be the pangolin.
"Do you even know what the fuck yer doing?"
>"Um...I saw this in a movie once."
>The warthog starts chuckling.
"Cripes."
Dumptruck wraps his tail around the tree and hangs down, turning upriver to survey the fish.
"ALRIGHT GUYS, SWIM ON!  YOU AIN'T IN ANY DANGER WHATSOEVERS!  TOP OF THE FOOD CHAIN OVER HERE DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO FISH!"
"I know how to fish."
>That voice was about five inches behind you.  You freeze.  The warthog scrambles to its hooves and runs off.  Dumptruck rights himself on the treelimb and puffs himself up as large as he can.
>Which isn't very large by any stretch of the imagination.
>"Do I even want to turn around right now?"
"Well it is etiquette to look at whom you are speaking too."
>You turn around.
>Holy shit that is a tiger staring at you.
>A big goddamn...tiger, goddamn.
>"Hello.  I'm Anon.  I'm a human.  Nice to meet you.  Don't eat me."
"Don't eat him, Nabhi.  You'll catch his stupid."
"Well isn't that a worrisome thing?"
>She spoke in a deep femine voice with a pronounced indian accent.  The tiger began to stalk around you in the water.
"Deimos told me about you..."
>"Did he have anything good to say?"
"He said you were a danger and I should rip you to shreds given the chance.  But I hardly think something that is so easily snuck upon could be considered dangerous."
>She sniffs at you.
"And you smell like junk food.  I do not normally eat junk food."
>"I completely respect your healthy decision."  Oh your were on a razor's edge right now.  The tiger did not make as much as a ripple as she slinked through the water.  Her muscles were relaxed, but you knew they could tense up and spring at you in the slightest provocation and end your day in the quickest instant.
"Besides, Deimos leans towards the dramatic."
>"He certainly seemed the type."  Dumptruck blows a raspberry.
"But he's still a very dear friend.  I at least wanted to investigate the cause of his worries.  You seem to make much distress for him."
>"He doesn't exactly put me at ease either."
"Yes.  The waterfall.  The tossing.  You seemed to have upset a few of the Rangers as well.  Everyone talks to everyone in this jungle, Anon the Human."
>She approaches the shore.
"You may soon prove to be more popular than you would care for."
>Dumptruck has climbed down from the branch and cautiously approached his former position on the log.
"Hey, Nabhi, the big guy didn't say anything about me, did he?"
>She looks at Dumptruck.  She frowns a little.
"He did not mention you.  You don't incur as much ire as your friend here.  The eyes of Deimos may simply view you with a passive contempt."
>Dumptruck nods to himself.
"So 'bout another week, then."
"So I see you were attempting to fish?"
>"Hm?  Oh, yeah.  I was gonna fish and then make a fire and cook them and it's going to be completely awesome."
>She tilted her head.
"You know how to make and use fire?"
>"I am halfway good at making fire."
"As in he can only make half of a fire.  And I'm not talking about the glowy hot half."
>Nabhi swishes her tail along the sand.
"If I teach you how to fish, will you show me this fire?"
>"I think I'd be properly motivated to get it going, yeah."
>She nods.
"Very well.  Watch closely, Human."
>She approached the water.
"You must be still..."
>He shoulders bunched together.  A slim outline of a fish approached her.  She opened her mouth slowly revealing a cavern of long pearly white daggers that shimmered in the sun.
>And then she struck the water like lightning.
>She thrashed for half a second and pulled her head out of the river.  A huge fish flopped uselessly between her fangs.
>She stalked towards the shore and dropped her prize into the sand.  Dumptruck clapped from his log.  He very nearly looked impressed.  Or relieved that it wasn't him getting plucked out of the river that way.
"That one is mine."
>Aw hell.  You were hoping she'd catch another one or two.  Fuck this 'feed a man for a day' crap.
>You wade out a little further into the water.
>You lower yourself into the river
>"Do I have to use my mouth?"
"Just do whatever you're comfortable with."
>Okay.  Okay, you can do this.
>"I am the pangolin."
"You must be silent."
>You are the silent pangolin.
>You bring your arms together, ready to strike out.
>Be the pangolin...
>A fish swims by...
>You strike.  Your hands feels something wet and scaly and smooth at the same time.
>Oh God, you're touching a fish, this is disgusting, this is the worst idea in the whole world.
>Why does it keep wriggling?  Why is this fish so fucking strong?
>Your hands and fingers slip all over the fish.  It's madness.  You're swearing and slipping over everything.
>But the fish is still in your graps.  You pull it close to your chest and and half-run half-jump to the shore.
>You throw the fish onto the sand.
>It flops uselessly in the sun.
>You raise your hands up the air and laugh triumphantly.
>"I AM THE PANGOLIN!"
"Thought you were gonna make out with it for a second."
>Nabhi nudged the fish with her paw.
"You lack any sort of subtlety and your form is atrocious."
>Jesus.  She reminded you way too much of Rarity.  Except bigger.  And with stripes.  And claws.  And knives for teeth.
"But rather good for your first effort."
>She's still cool, though.
>You wade out into the water again.  The rest of the fish are a little spooked, so it takes you longer to catch a third one.  One eventually is foolish enough to go near your instant lightning hands of death.
>You were still sloppy, and it was in no way graceful, but you got another fish onto the shore all the same.
>You collapse onto the sand.  You were exhausted.  But you were also exhillerated.  You caught a fish!  TWO fishes!  With your bare hands, even.
>And nothing tried to swim up your dick or anything!
"Now that I've taught you how to fish, you will show me your fire."
>Oh right.
>You stand up.  You got this.  You so got this.  You were unstoppable today.
>You gathered the rocks, the sticks, the dry grass, and bark.
>You arrange the board, set the grass, make the notch thingy.
>You hold the stick in your hand.
>You look at the fish.  You look at the tiger and capuchin eyeing you expectantly.
>You work the stick.
>Small bits of smoke spew out.
"This is as far as he usually gets."
"Then he'll have to get further."
>Your hands are getting sore.
>No, fuck that, you are the pangolin!
No, fuck THAT!  YOU ARE MAN!
>And a man knows how to make a fucking fire.
>Motivation, motivation...
>The feeling of big juicy cooked fish sitting in your belly...yeah, the sound of a healthy roaring fire....
>Almost....
>Setting Rarity's hair on fire!
>A small ember glows.
>YES!
>Rarity's whole stupid everything on fire!
>While you and Rainbow roast marshmallows over her!
>And Twilight's readng some kind of book!
>There are more embers.
>You laugh madly.
>And soon a small blaze is born upon the kindle.
>The tiger and the monkey take small steps back.
>You grab more dead grass.  You pile it on.  You let the wind feed your creation.
>It grows and grows.  The heat feels glorious against you.
>You run across the shore, gathering more wood and grass to feed the flames.
>You dance around the beautiful thing you have made.
>"MAN MAKE FIRE!  MAN MAKE FIRE!"
"Holy shit, he's not completely usless."
"Evidently."
>You point to your audience.
>"BRING THE FISH!  TODAY WE FEAST!"
>You rig up a rickety spit and lay the fish over the flames.  Dumptruck and Nabhi are lounging around your makeshift pit.  The sun is begining to set.   The orange light shines off of the capuchin's beady eyes, and makes the tiger look even more haunting.
>You have no idea how to prepare or cook fish, but you really can't find a damn to give.
>It smells heavenly.  But it could smell better.  You pull out the bottle of Applejack Daniels.
"So we gonna get smashed now?"
>"Uh...we'll see.  I'm just gonna add this for flavoring."
>You pop open the bottle.  It cracks satisfyingly.  A small furry animal pops up between Nabhi and Dumptruck.
"Hi guys."
"Hey Tim."
>"Sweet Jesus."
"I told you."
>Well, the fish are pretty big.  You guess Tim and Dumptruck can share theirs.  You splash a small amount over the fish.  The flames jump.  This takes you and the animals by surprise.
"I'll give this forest another month, tops."
>Tim whimpers at his perceived waste of alcohol.
>You eventually judge the fish to be cooked.  Or at least not too burnt.  You remove them from the spit and distribute accordingly.
>Nabhi sniffs at her catch and nudges at it with her nose.
"Smells nice, at least."
>She takes a bite.
"Oh my..."
>Dumptruck and Tim poke and prod at their share, hissing at it occasionally.  Dump tears a small chunk from the side and nibbles at it.
"'S not bad."
>You bite shallowly into your fish.
>Oh God.
>It's lacks any sort of style or sign that it was made by someone who actually knew what they were doing.
>But it was the most delicious thing you've ever ate.
>You take a bit.
>You nearly choke on a bone.  You spit it out.
"Slow down there, guy.  Can't have ya dying on us all of a sudden like."
>"Still planning on not eating me, right?"
"I've decided not too."
>"Thanks.  Hey, do you think you can put in a good word to Deimos for us?  Make him hate us less?"
"Deimos will think what he will think.  Him knowing that I've spoken with you without eating you will probably just aggravate him further.
>"Oh."
"But you don't seem the type that will bring ruin and destruction upon us all the same."
>"That's a cool thing to say, Nabhi."
"Evidently."
>You giggle to yourself.
>You were making friends.
-----
>You are Rarity again, walking through the market square of Ponyville.
>You freeze in your steps and gasp loudly.
"Rarity, are you alright?"
>"I'm -I'm just fine, Twilight."
"Maybe we should sit down for a bit?"
>"Yes, that's a good idea."
>You slowly walk towards a bench.
>Anon just did something mildly respectable.
>Oh, dear...
>Your edges are now frayed.