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- Anyway, there's something that's been troubling me for a pretty decent amount of time now. At least two weeks, I think? Definitely a week-and-a-half at minimum.
- It's about a Person On Twitter. I'm not really sure what else to use here. We'll call this person "Katelyn."
- In the very beginning, I didn't really know what Katelyn was like. To be honest, I only followed them because someone else I was following was following them. So, I didn't really pay that great attention to what they were saying and what they thought about what other people were saying. This was like several months ago or something like that.
- However, more recently, (as far back as a month ago?) I started to look closer at what they (re)tweeted and what they favorited. As I examined their style, I noticed that what they were saying on here... is actually a pretty damn close match to things I might agree with. I discovered that we even had similar interests (really mainly yuri but that's irrelevant) I was thinking then, Hey, this person seems like someone I could have nice conversations with.
- I wanted to get to know them better.
- After a ton of struggling and hesitation just to say hi to them, I was able to have an actual conversation with Katelyn. It didn't last very long, but for some reason I felt like I accomplished something huge. Like, more than I would've had it been anyone else.
- After that, I tried talking with Katelyn more often (like whenever I could say something coherent), and I would always for some reason get this faint sense of joy whenever they would give me a response (whether it be a fav or reply). I know this sounds sup(reerficial as fuck, but I really couldn't help it at the time. I still can't help it.
- However, I realized something else about all this. Whenever Katelyn didn't respond to a tweet I send him... I wasn't really angry. I was just a bit disappointed. As if I being ignored or something. Now, I knew very well that they wouldn't just ignore me like that. I still kinda felt like that. It doesn't feel good at all.
- As time progressed, these faint senses started to become less faint. Then, something happened I finally said "Something is definitely wrong." Now, Katelyn isn't following me, but I noticed that they favorited a tweet of mine that didn't even mention them, Even more so, I got a notification that they liked one of my retweets. Since they weren't following me, I could only assume that they looked at my profile. They still didn't follow me. Normally, I wouldn't give a shit, but in this case, it gave me the sense that my style of tweeting was too divergent from what they would like. That kinda hit me pretty decently.
- And to make things worse, that only made me pay more attention to what Katelyn (re)tweeted and favorited. I finally asked myself, "What's happening? Why am I paying so much attention to them now? Why am I placing such high value on them?"
- I pondered the possibility that it might be some form of love. I came to the conclusion that it can't be that. It isn't love or anything like that. I've felt love before. This isn't it.
- But then why...?
- I don't want things to be like this. I just want to be able to talk with them normally. I don't want to be so superficially and emotionally attached to them. I don't like feeling this way. It's driving me insane just thinking about it.
- It's even started to haunt me when I'm not awake. The idea of me tweeting something outrageously stupid and Katelyn giving me endless shit for it. It even jolted me awake at one point at like four in the morning.
- I want it to stop. I can't let it keep going like this.
- The only problem is, how do I stop it?
- I've considered talking with Katelyn directly about it, but how would I bring it up? Or worse, how would they react? The last thing I want is to have that thing I described earlier become reality.
- This is where I ask you, person who is reading this shit: What should I do? I'm completely lost here, and I could really use the help.
- Oh, how I wonder what Katelyn would do if she were in my position...
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