Fatanon 7

>You are Anonymous, and you are drunk off your ass.
>You're not the only one that's drunk though.
>Rainbow Dash stumbles over a pile of books in the middle of the library floor, and Twilight starts giggling uncontrollably.
>For some reason you don't do the same. You know it should be funny that Dash fell on her face, but instead of just laughing you sit there staring at her like a retard.
>She's all fucked up.
>Her wings are sticking out in two different directions, and she's sprawled on the ground like the klutz that she is. With a frown she pushes herself up, "Yeah yeah Twi. Veeeery funny." Her words are slurred.
>You're still staring at her like a dumbass.
>She walks to you, stumbling a bit and grinning up at you.
>"You okay Big Guy?"
"Huh?"
>You shake your head and feel blood rushing to your face.
"Yeah, just spaced out a bit I guess."
>Twilight turns to you both with a huge grin on her face and starts rocking her head back and forth, "Anon was staring at Dashiiiie."
"Wha..."
>"Awww give 'im a break Twi. We're all... shit faced here, Anon has noooo idea what he's doing."
>Twilight giggles a LOT when she's drunk. "If you say so Rainbow. Hey, hey hey I've got an idea."
"What kina idea are we talkin'?"
>Twilight's grin still hasn't gone anywhere, "Let's play truth er dare. It'll be fun~."
>You raise an eyebrow.
>"Sure!" shouts Dash, "I'm down, let's do it."
>"Alright," says Twilight, "I'll go firsht. Anooon, truth or dare?"
>A small amount of desperation creeps its way into you. You are with two drunk mares, both of which want to play Truth or Dare.
>panic.exe is already running
>Play 'Holyshitwhatthefuckamidoing.mp3'
>Windows Media Player is not responding.
"Truth."
>Twilight and Dash make their way to you, and next thing you know you're all in a circle.
>Dash is looking at Twilight expectantly.
>"Okay then Anon. Have you ever... been skinny?"
>Ouch, you were expecting something sexual. Guess Twilight isn't above burning the fat guy of the group.
"Yeah. When I was in High school."
>"My turn!" shouts Dash, "Twilight, truth or dare?"
>"Dare."
>Brave mare.
>"I dare you to rip out a page of one of your books."
>Twilight's eyes widen in pure and unbridled horror, "B... but..."
>Dash just smirks, "Ha, knew you couldn't do it."
>After a few deep breaths Twilight manages to calm down. Her horn starts to glow and a book dislodges itself from the other side of the library, floating down to your group.
>It's an extremely thick book with a blue cover.
>You can barely make out the title in your drunken stupor.
>'Trix of the Trade: By the Great and Powerful Trixie.'
>The sound of tearing paper is the only thing heard in the library for a long moment.
>Twilight takes another deep breath, "I would rather not do this, but better this book than another."
>"Alright, nice going Twi. Your turn Big Guy."
>'Brain?'
Yeah, guy?
>'You with me on this one?'
For now.
>'Alright.'
"Dash, truth or dare?"
>"Truth."
>'Alright Brain, here we go.'
"Do you dye your mane?"
>Twilight absolutely erupts into laughter.
>Dash, on the other hand, turns a deep shade of red, "NO! My name is RAINBOW Dash you dolt!"
>Twilight is still laughing, and it's her turn.
>You can't help but crack a grin.
"Alright, just wanted to make sure."
>"Screw you Anon." Dash huffs and sits back on her haunches, crossing her forehooves and pouting.
"Oh come on, that was a legitimate question. No need to get all pissy."
>Dash sighs and uncrosses her hooves, "Alright, but two can play that game, Anon."
>Uh oh.
>When Twilight is finally over her laughing fit she turns to Dash, "Rainbow, Truth or Dare?"
>"Dare."
>"I dare you tooooo... read Magic and Minstrels allll the way through."
>"What? How the heck am I supposed to..."
>"Not right now, just check it out before you leave."
>Dash's eyes narrow, "I hate you so much right now."
>"Your fault for making me deface a book."
>"Whatever, it's my turn anyways. ANON, truth or dare?"
>Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit.
>'Brain?'
...
>'Brain, you there?'
...
>'Fuck you then.'
"Truth."
>Dash grins.
>Fuck. You know it doesn't matter which one you picked, she had a plan for both.
>"Suit yourself Big Guy. Are you a virgin?"
>Shit it's already that far into the game?
>You have to tell the truth.
"... Yes."
>Dash nods smugly and sticks her tongue out at you.
Alright bitch, two can play that game.
>'Brain? Where the fuck were you when I needed you a minute ago?'
I was getting some coffee. Shit, you sit on your ass all day so I get a lot of use.
>'Shut up, I exercise now.'
Yeah yeah. So, game plan.
"Dash, truth or dare?"
>"Dare." She's still giving you that smug little look. She WANTS you to one-up her.
>'Should I do it, Brain?'
fuckyeah.png
"I dare you to make out with Twilight."
>Dead.
>Fucking.
>Silence.
>Dash's jaw might as well be detached from her face. She looks like she's trying to form a coherent thought, but she can't quite put the various pieces together.
>Twilight isn't much better off in that department. If you didn't know any better you would think she's red and not purple.
"You heard me."
>It's another minute before Dash gathers enough willpower to speak, "Bu... I don't... I mean... wha..."
"Do it, or you lose."
>If there's one thing you know about Dash it's that she hates losing.
>After a moment, her look of shock is replaced with one of determination, and she approaches Twilight.
>"Rainbow... you're not actually gonna..."
>She's cut off by the kiss.
>DING
>'BONER WHAT THE FUCK?'
heybuddywutsgoingoninthislibrary
>'Fuck off Boner, they're horses.'
cutehorses
>'AGH shut the fuck up shutupshutupshutup.'
>Dash pushes further into the kiss, and Twilight is definitely not pushing her away. At some point they end up on the floor with their hooves wrapped around each other. Both their eyes are closed and it looks like they're quite enjoying the experience.
>'Heart, what's our status?'
Givin' it all she's got cap'n!
>'Lungs?'
We're inoperable, Sir. We're doing what we can but it doesn't look good.
>Finally, after what seems like an eternity, Dash pulls away from Twilight.
>They both get back to their respective positions in the circle, and they're both blushing like mad.
>You clear your throat.
"I think... I think we've had enough booze."
>Twilight sighs, "That was actually..."
>"Don't say it!" shouts Dash.
>Twilight responds with a grin, "Nice."
>Why is it always the librarians who are kinky?
>Dash screams and brings her hooves to her head, "What have I done?! Agh, no more, I quit! Next thing you know we'll be mud wrestling. Anon, you pervert!"
>You never expected to hear that word coming from the mouth of a tomboy like Dash.
>You can't help but enjoy the way she's acting right now, it's kind of cute.
>Dash buries her face in her hooves, "Can we please please pleeeease just forget about this?"
"I don't think I can forget something that awesome."
>Shit...
>Did you just say that out loud?
>More to the crux of the matter... did you just say that at ALL, much less THINK it?
>Dash gives you a flat look and Twilight smiles.
>"What's wrong Rainbow?"
>"You two are messed up, that's what's wrong."
>You and Twilight share a laugh at Dash's expense.
>Today was a good day.

>Day 30 in Equestria
>You've lost another few pounds and you're starting to see the results.
>After the Truth or Dare incident Dash upgraded your regiment to two and a half miles so you could start losing weight faster.
>You found you could run a lot further than you thought, and running started to make you feel good.
>Really good.
>You get done with your run in the center of town, where Dash is waiting for you impatiently.
>She starts flying next to you when you reach her, panting to catch your breath.
>"Looking a lot better. Still slow as molasses though."
>You smile.
"We can't all... break the sound barrier Dash."
>"Hey, who knows, you might be the first human to pull it off."
"Hahaha, I seriously doubt it. We had to invent special machines to do that."
>"Sounds totally awesome. I would love to try one of those."
>You start to walk back to the library, making small talk the entire way.
>About halfway there is when it happens.
>"Help!! Help!"
>A small yellow filly with a red mane and a bow comes running around the corner with what looks like  a giant dog on her heels.
>The last time you were in a situation like this you saved the person in danger and got an asphalt chunk to the forehead for your troubles.
>Fuck it, might as well do it again.
"Dash, can you distract that thing?"
>"On it Big Guy!"
>The town is in full on panic mode now.
>Dash is good to her word, flying straight at the dog and bucking it in the face, "Eat this, ugly!"
>You run...
>Run, not waddle, to the little filly and scoop her up before darting away from the dog.
>Then you hear the pounding of paws behind you.
>Dash yells, "Hey, get back here!"
>Shit...
>There's no way a fatass like you can outrun that thing, but you might as well try.
>Heaven or hell.