pregnancy baby killing

I have this friend who is a bit of a hypochondriac. The disease she is worried most about catching is pregnancy; until she has her period every month, she panics almost every day about whether or not she is pregnant. This makes sense, because, I don’t know if you guys know this, but children are the worst possible sexually transmitted disease. You know, I don’t think she’s even had sex in a couple of years, so I’m not sure that she knows exactly how pregnancy works. One time she was texting me about how her stomach had been hurting all weekend and that, surprise, she was worrying that she might be pregnant. Then she sent me a text that said, “My period came early.” I thought this was great news. Now she would know for sure that she’s not pregnant and she could move on with her life. Nope. She sent me a subsequent text that read, “I don’t know what this means.” I was tired of these shenanigans so I called her up and said, “Look; stop your worrying; it simply means that you’re the opposite of pregnant! In 9 months, you will give death to a baby!” She actually took it pretty well. She took a deep breath and said, “I think I have always known that I would have to.” I think that’s a beautiful story because it goes to show that we all have a purpose in life.