help 1

taking from the au on pixiv: the grail fucks with shinji’s body after ubw and he spends an extensive amount of time in the hospital. doctors can’t place what is wrong with him, so he’s released after a couple of months of fatigue and chronic pain. once at home, shinji starts to notice small physical changes. his hands appearing more small and delicate; his skin feeling softer; his lips plumping. it isn’t until the pain from his hips widening makes him black out that he’s knocked out of his denial. he quits going to school and hides in his room, too disgusted with himself to face anyone or get help. over time, his body slowly and painfully twists itself into that of a woman. once the changes have finally settled down, shinji realizes that he has no idea what to do with himself now.

the entire time zouken has known what was happening, since he has thousands of tiny spies littered across the estate. before shinji even emerges from his quarters to address this, he’s already been married off. shinji objects, but zouken is quick to silence him with violence. sakura can’t retaliate either. she doesn’t know what to do. before shinji can even truly come to terms with what’s happened to him, he’s been traded off like a commodity.

shinji tries to make the best of a bad situation for now, hoping that his new home will be a nicer environment to live in than his old one. he hopes that he will one day be able to research his ailment and be able to cure it. without really noticing, though, shinji has been slowly adopting feminine mannerisms and manners of speaking. he’s settling into it comfortably, swinging his hips when he walks and having a delicate lilt to his voice when he approaches people. once he realizes what’s happened it’s already too late. he’s comfortable. it feels right. he’s a girl.

her husband calls her makoto. he doesn’t know who she used to be. he’s a magus from a family who has held maybe a sliver of the notoriety the matou once had. she doesn’t feel much of anything in the way of feelings for him, but she’s grateful to no longer be a victim of her grandfather.

that is, until her husband begins to hit her. at first, it was for “reasons”, like her lack of skill for cooking or housework. then it was for “talking back”, even when that wasn’t necessarily the case. eventually it just became for fun. he enjoyed hitting makoto. kicking her, yanking her hair. he would laugh while she cried and begged him to stop. he would leave her with black eyes and bloody noses. soon he would be forceful with her in the bedroom as well.

makoto feels like she can’t escape. she has a heavy sense of remorse for having once been an abuser, herself. she wishes she could call sakura and apologize, even, but her husband has forbid her from having any type of contact outside of him. she was a prisoner.

she misses shirou. she remembers when she had to tell him that shinji was going away; that they wouldn’t be able to talk anymore. shirou said he didn’t understand. makoto cried that night for hours. she still cries when she recalls that series of text messages. she often wonders where shirou is and if he misses shinji. would he like who shinji has become?

makoto hates herself, but she hates herself as shinji, too.

one day, her husband drags her down into the basement and tells her there’s someone he wants her to meet; that he’s summoned a servant for the next grail war.

when makoto’s eyes meet archer’s they both know in an instant who the other truly is. it makes makoto step back, shaking and nauseous. archer’s brow furrows with a level of concern only shirou emiya could muster. it makes her want to cry right then.

when makoto’s husband orders her to make archer “feel at home”, she’s at a loss for what to do. but once he’s left the room she finds herself walking toward archer, tears falling as she slams into him and chokes back a sob.

she never thought she would get to see him again.

“what happened to you?”

archer looks down at makoto, still in shock. he runs a hand through long, wavy hair and can’t help but notice the bruises on her face and around her neck.

he wants to ask the same question.