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SVTFOE: Heinous Rewrite

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May 28th, 2017
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  1. SVTFOE: Heinous Rewrite
  2.  
  3. Original Story By: Daron Nefcy, Aaron Hammersley, Dominic Bisignano, John Infantino, Amy Higgins
  4. Original Writers/Storyboarders: John Mathot & Gina Gress
  5. Revisions: Me, an Anon
  6.  
  7. NOTICE: I had a pretty bad experience with the Star vs. the Forces of Evil episode, "Heinous", and I hope some of you out there find this episode underwhelming too. Even if some of you like this episode, I hope you like this revised version written by me along with original dialogue from that episode. This transcript is considered fanfiction and is not affiliated with Daron Nefcy, Disney Television Animation, or The Walt Disney Company in general.
  8.  
  9. CHANGES: The Diazes are not upset with Star and Marco but with Miss Heinous, The Morrisons and the police officer are edited out entirely. Also Star wears her reform school disguise to side with Marco.
  10. I want to make the characters likeable.
  11.  
  12. Original Script and Characters: MMXVI Daron Nefcy, Disney
  13.  
  14. Original Transcript: Star vs the Forces of Evil Wikia Page
  15. http://starvstheforcesofevil.wikia.com/wiki/Heinous/Transcript
  16.  
  17. Revision: MMXVII: Me, An Anon
  18.  
  19. Rafael is Mr. Diaz
  20. Angie is Mrs. Diaz
  21.  
  22.  
  23. EXT. - DIAZ HOUSEHOLD - DAY
  24.  
  25. A DOG WALKER (From "Running with Scissors") parks his car in front of the house. MISS HEINOUS' car falls out of the sky on top of the dog walker's car and with RASTICORE's chainsaw tied to the front.
  26.  
  27. MISS HEINOUS (O.S): GEMINI, the door is jammed!
  28.  
  29. GEMINI (O.S): Are you sure it's not locked?
  30.  
  31. MISS HEINOUS (O.S): I know what it looks like when it's locked! Get me out of this car!
  32.  
  33. Gemini stumbles out of the car and grunts.
  34.  
  35. MISS HEINOUS (O.S): Gemini!
  36.  
  37. GEMINI: Oh! Oh, coming!
  38.  
  39. Gemini pries open Miss Heinous' car door, and she stumbles out onto the ground.
  40.  
  41. MISS HEINOUS: Ugh!
  42.  
  43. Miss Heinous kicks the car and sighs.
  44.  
  45. MISS HEINOUS: How is my hair?
  46.  
  47. GEMINI: Like you just came from the
  48. salon.
  49.  
  50. MISS HEINOUS: Filthy lies, but I'll allow it.
  51.  
  52. In the back seat of Miss Heinous' car, Rasticore's right forearm is in a baby seat.
  53.  
  54. Miss Heinous unbuckles Rasticore's seat belt.
  55.  
  56. MISS HEINOUS: Come now, Rasticore. There's my baby bounty hunter. You're growing back so fast. Yes, you are. Yes, you are.
  57.  
  58. Rasticore's arm picks up his chainsaw.
  59.  
  60. MISS HEINOUS: Now we are prepared to wreak recrimination on our foes.
  61.  
  62. GEMINI: Yes. Recrim-mim-mim-ination!
  63.  
  64. Miss Heinous chuckles evilly.
  65.  
  66. She saws Diazes' front door in half. ANGIE stands near the sawed-down door.
  67.  
  68. ANGIE: ...Hello?
  69.  
  70.  
  71.  
  72. EXT. - NEIGHBORHOOD BLOCK - DAY
  73.  
  74. STAR and MARCO walk towards the house.
  75.  
  76. MARCO: Now are you convinced that parking meters aren't filled with candy?
  77.  
  78. STAR: Ugh, it's all just a big tease. How was I supposed to know...
  79.  
  80. They notice Miss Heinous' car on top of the dog walker's car.
  81.  
  82. STAR: Ohhhh.
  83.  
  84. MARCO: Okay, that was not like that before.
  85.  
  86. Star and Marco notice the house's front door sawed in half.
  87.  
  88. STAR: Okay, here's the plan. I'll cover the back door, and on my mark, you bum rush the front door.
  89.  
  90. MARCO: Got it.
  91.  
  92. Star climbs over the backyard fence, sneaks into the house through the back door, and hiding behind a potted plant.
  93.  
  94.  
  95.  
  96. INT. DIAZ HOUSEHOLD - LIVING ROOM - DAY
  97.  
  98. RAFAEL and Angie are being interrogated by Miss Heinous and Gemini with some of the Diazes lights.
  99.  
  100. RAFAEL: Ay caramba Angelica! Why is this strange lady blinding us with our lights!?
  101.  
  102. MISS HEINOUS: Where's Princess Marco?
  103.  
  104. ANGIE: Princess?! Our son is a "boy'!
  105.  
  106. RAFAEL: Yes. Un hijo.
  107.  
  108. Rafael starts to get flirty with Angie
  109.  
  110. RAFAEL: Right Angie?
  111.  
  112. ANGIE: Rafael, you are right, handsome.
  113.  
  114. Angie and Rafael kiss, on the lips, which leads to Heinous having a grossed-out reaction.
  115.  
  116. MISS HEINOUS: Public display of affection!? Intolerable! When Marco gets here. I'll annihilate her and display her skeleton to my students. I'll rip out her spine and wear it as a fancy scarf.
  117.  
  118. Angie and Rafael are now scared to imagine their son murdered.
  119.  
  120. MISS HEINOUS: I'll grind her bones into a pulp. I'll disembowel him!
  121.  
  122. Rafael and Angie are now in tears too.
  123.  
  124. RAFAEL/ANGIE: Nooooooo!!!!
  125.  
  126.  
  127.  
  128. EXT. DIAZ HOUSEHOLD - DAY
  129.  
  130. Back outside, Star and Marco give out the signal
  131.  
  132. MARCO: One...
  133.  
  134. STAR: Two...
  135.  
  136. MARCO: Three...
  137.  
  138.  
  139.  
  140. INT. DIAZ HOUSEHOLD - KITCHEN - DAY
  141.  
  142. Star jumps out where she's hiding.
  143.  
  144. STAR: Hiiii-yah!
  145.  
  146.  
  147.  
  148. INT. DIAZ HOUSEHOLD - LIVING ROOM - DAY
  149.  
  150. Marco kicks the front door.
  151.  
  152. MARCO: Hiiii-yah! Huh?
  153.  
  154. ANGIE: Marco! Help please.
  155.  
  156. MISS HEINOUS: You!
  157.  
  158. STAR/MARCO: You! Let's get them!
  159.  
  160. STAR: Narwhal Blast!
  161.  
  162. Star blasts Gemini, and a narwhal pins him on the floor.
  163.  
  164. Miss Heinous tackles Marco
  165.  
  166. MISS HEINOUS: Ahhhhh!
  167.  
  168. Marco screams and Angie and Rafael gasp.
  169.  
  170. ANGIE/RAFAEL: Marco!
  171.  
  172. Gemini screams.
  173.  
  174. STAR: Come on Marco. Fight back!
  175.  
  176. Miss Heinous still tackles Marco.
  177.  
  178. MARCO: What did you do to my parents. Let go of me.
  179.  
  180. Rafael and Angie are shocked but concerned.
  181.  
  182. RAFAEL: Miss Heinous, senorita! We just vacuumed the floors.
  183.  
  184. Angie still tries to serve up a smile.
  185.  
  186. ANGIE: Whatever's going on, can you at least put away your magical whale, Star?
  187.  
  188. STAR: It's a narwhal.
  189.  
  190. Star puts away her narwhal.
  191.  
  192. RAFAEL: Miss Heinous, let Marco go! We let you in, but you interrogated us and attacked our son!
  193.  
  194. MISS HEINOUS: I'm telling you, "she's" a girl!
  195.  
  196. Marco grabs everyone's attention.
  197.  
  198. MARCO: Members of 4815 Avocado Terrace. This lady tied me to a chair and tried to brainwash me!
  199.  
  200. MISS HEINOUS: Well, your child, even with his super-cute new haircut, has terribly wronged me and ruined my life, and I'm not going anywhere until justice is served!
  201.  
  202. ANGIE: I don't what you two are talking about but can you least explain so me and Rafael won't be confused.
  203.  
  204. Angie kisses Rafael on the cheek and Rafael's lovestruck.
  205.  
  206. MARCO: Why don't I explain this whole situation...
  207.  
  208. Later, Marco suddenly now has an easel, paints, colored pencils, and portraits in the living room.
  209.  
  210. MARCO: In art form!
  211.  
  212. RAFAEL: Muy bueno, Marco. I've heard your getting an A plus in art class.
  213.  
  214. GEMINI: Milady. What's going on?
  215.  
  216. STAR But first... let me grab my unicorn headed best friend, Pony Head!
  217.  
  218. Later...
  219.  
  220. PONY HEAD
: B-Fly! I was finding a new place to hang. What brings me here.
  221.  
  222. STAR: You were involved in this whole Miss Heinous situation as well. Now Marco's about to start his slide show.
  223.  
  224. Marco explains the whole situation in his slide show of paintings.
  225.  
  226. MARCO: Star's friend Pony Head is a student at St. Olga's Reform School for Wayward Princesses.
  227.  
  228. MISS HEINOUS: A place to teach princesses manners and respect.
  229.  
  230. MARCO: Anyway. Star couldn't imagine how horrible the school was so she suggested by the art of prison escape movies to free Pony Head.
  231.  
  232. STAR: All we did was disguise ourselves as wayward princesses but once we found Pony Head, her free spirit is gone.
  233.  
  234. MARCO: No freedom, no individuality, like a dystopian society. Miss Heinous brainwashes princesses losing everything they love but follow her commands.
  235.  
  236. PONY HEAD: Yeah like.
  237.  
  238. Pony Head says something in a robotic like voice.
  239.  
  240. PONY HEAD: Keep your pinkies at 90 degrees. More tea please.
  241.  
  242. MISS HEINOUS: But what I saw, that Marco arrived and started revolution even inspiring merchandise, influencing young princesses with her devious ways.
  243.  
  244. GEMINI: Like this Princess Marco doll.
  245.  
  246. Gemini shows Star, Marco, Pony Head, and the Diazes a Princess Marco doll.
  247.  
  248. STAR: You have merchandise?
  249.  
  250. MARCO: I get a 650 dollar royalty check every month which I didn't even know about it. And about the "revolution", all I just did was create a distraction.
  251.  
  252. STAR: And he ended up partially brainwashed.
  253.  
  254. RAFAEL: Oh. Lo siento Marco.
  255.  
  256. STAR: But it helped us destroyed this tower that blocks magic or else we would never come back home.
  257.  
  258. MARCO: As you can understand Mom and Dad. Those princesses were being oppressed. They're way happier now.
  259.  
  260. ANGIE: Moral reasoning? I see.
  261.  
  262. Angie is now very happy for Star and Marco.
  263.  
  264. ANGIE: I'm proud of you Marco and you too Star!
  265.  
  266. MISS HEINOUS: No! Now my students lost all respect for authority. Soon, they were cutting classes just to party, even inviting the boys from the neighboring prince reform school. They threw me out! 
  267.  
  268. Miss Heinous shows Rasticore's arm.
  269.  
  270. MISS HEINOUS: They also blew up my bodyguard! My sweet Rasticore.
  271.  
  272. RAFAEL/ANGIE: Huh?
  273.  
  274. MISS HEINOUS: This is just his arm, but he's part lizard, so his whole body will grow back soon. And then he'll be a big boy, won't you, sweetie?
  275.  
  276. Miss Heinous kisses the arm.
  277.  
  278. Star and Marco are a little grossed out.
  279.  
  280. MARCO: Furthermore....
  281.  
  282. Star and Marco continue their slideshow of paintings.
  283.  
  284. STAR: Me and Marco needed to buy somethingat Quest Buy before a gift card I got expires.
  285.  
  286. MARCO: The card expired right near Rasticore. We didn't blew him up, the card did.
  287.  
  288. STAR: And I learned to always read fine print and never waste time with a gift card lying around.
  289.  
  290. PONY HEAD
: I can remember those times I wasted like 10 discounts on The Bounce Lounge.
  291.  
  292. Miss Heinous and Gemini confused.
  293.  
  294. PONY HEAD: Anyways, I'm super sorry for all this. If Marco suggests anything to make you happy. He'll do so. Later B-Fly.
  295.  
  296. Pony Head takes her dimensional scissors and leaves.
  297.  
  298. MARCO: Yeah. I'm sorry Miss Heinous. But you got to see that stripping away individuality doesn't make a princess a better person.
  299.  
  300. He walks close to his parents.
  301.  
  302. MARCO: Mom. If you ever went there, you wouldn't have found your love of poetry and you wouldn't become a great poetry teacher at Echo Creek Community College.
  303.  
  304. ANGIE: Oh. And I wouldn't have ever met and marry my hunk of a husband,
  305.  
  306. Angie starts to get flirty with Rafael.
  307.  
  308. ANGIE: ...Rafael.
  309.  
  310. RAFAEL/ANGIE: Te amo. I love you.
  311.  
  312. They give another kiss on the lips.
  313.  
  314. Marco starts to regret his actions.
  315.  
  316. MARCO: I understand your really upset but I did what I had to do. I'll just apologize.
  317.  
  318. MISS HEINOUS: An apology. Yes.
  319.  
  320. Miss Heinous starts to chuckle evilly.
  321.  
  322. MISS HEINOUS: An apology will suffice... under certain conditions.
  323.  
  324. STAR: Marco. You can't regret this.
  325.  
  326. MARCO: I'll do anything I can. Whatever you want, Miss Heinous, just name it.
  327.  
  328. Marco is now in his reform school princess disguise and so does Star holding a sign that says "It IS Criminal to Be An Individual". They are being videotaped by Gemini and Miss Heinous.
  329.  
  330. MARCO: Uh, hey, princesses of the multiverse. It's your girl Marco.
  331.  
  332. STAR: And your girl, Star. What up?
  333.  
  334. MARCO: Anyway, last time me and Star were at St. Olga's school, we did some stuff that we shouldn't have. And that was... bad.
  335.  
  336. Star starts to be sarcastic.
  337.  
  338. STAR: And, uh, we just wanted to say, we're like... super sorry and as princesses, we should never think for ourselves and just, you know... give up on our dreams and our own individuality. We mean all this from the bottom of our hearts. And I'm definitely not just saying that because Miss Heinous is threatening Marco and his family.
  339.  
  340. Gemini continues recording.
  341.  
  342. GEMINI: Ohhh... Milady, I have notes.
  343.  
  344. Miss Heinous, with her eye twitching, starts to laugh with joy.
  345.  
  346. MISS HEINOUS: It's perfect. Perfect!
  347.  
  348. MARCO: But... it doesn't mean you guys should resist your oppressors and stuff. Think of individuality as creating something amazing like paintings, a class project.
  349.  
  350. Gemini notices something.
  351.  
  352. STAR: Or what about poetry or a good meal to cook, or anything, but without breaking the law.
  353.  
  354. MISS HEINOUS: Stop recording Gemini! Stop!!
  355.  
  356. MARCO: Okay, enough of this. You messed with the wrong Diaz.
  357.  
  358. Star and Marco take off their princess disguises.
  359.  
  360. STAR: Get ready to feel the pain-ous, Miss Heinous!
  361.  
  362. RAFAEL: No, Star. You can't battle her alone with Marco.
  363.  
  364. Rafael holds Angie's hand.
  365.  
  366. ANGIE: We'll fight Miss Heinous and Gemini... together!
  367.  
  368. RAFAEL: As a familia!
  369.  
  370. MISS HEINOUS: Enough dilly-dallying. Let's get on with it.
 Gemini, Rasticore, attack!
  371.  
  372. RAFAEL: LUCHA LIBRE!!!
  373.  
  374. Star, Marco, Rafael, and Angie charge in at Miss Heinous, Gemini, and Rasticore to an awesome battle. Family vs. Heinous.
  375.  
  376. Gemini tries to do karate on Marco but Marco fights back.
  377.  
  378. MARCO: Mom. A little help here.
  379.  
  380. Angie appears as she starts to do karate too.
  381.  
  382. STAR: Your mom knows karate!?

  383.  
  384. MARCO: Best Tang Soo Do student in Cleveland.
  385.  
  386. Angie does a roundhouse kick on Gemini and Marco double punches him.
  387.  
  388. STAR: Alright, Miss Heinous. Toothpaste Tidal Blast!!
  389.  
  390. Star blasts of stream of toothpaste onto Miss Heinous'... teeth.
  391.  
  392. Miss Heinous likes her clean teeth.
  393.  
  394. MISS HEINOUS: Wow. I've hadn't brush my teeth in weeks.
  395.  
  396. However, Miss Heinous is still angry in combat again.
  397.  
  398. Gemini gets up but we pan to Rafael with a yellow cape, or probably his yellow shirt.
  399.  
  400. RAFAEL: Oh, tooorrrrooo.
  401.  
  402. Rafael tries to get his attention without breaking anything.
  403.  
  404. RAFAEL: You see the cape. See the cape. See my shirt tool Olé!
  405.  
  406. Gemini acts like a bull and charges into the cape and Rafael's shirt that matches his gemstone color.
  407.  
  408. He misses and lands into the fireplace.
  409.  
  410. Miss Heinous tries to aim for Marco with Rasticore.
  411.  
  412. MISS HEINOUS: Now, Rasticore, bring me Princess Marco's bones!
  413.  
  414. STAR: No way. And Marco's a boy! Makeup Blast!!
  415.  
  416. Star's butterfly puts makeup all over Rasticore's arm.
  417.  
  418. MISS HEINOUS: Rasticore! He's full of free spirit!
  419.  
  420. Star, Marco, Rafael, and Angie now huddle up in a circle.
  421.  
  422. MARCO: Ahora. Uno.
  423.  
  424. RAFAEL
: Dos.
  425.  
  426. ANGIE: Tres.
  427.  
  428. STAR: What? I'm confused
  429.  
  430. MARCO
: It's Spanish, Star. You'll understand.
  431.  
  432. They march up to Miss Heinous. She's so scared that the clubs on her cheeks slowly reveal and she accidentally drops the tape.
  433.  
  434. STAR: Her cheeks!
  435.  
  436. MARCO: Get the tape!
  437.  
  438. They attempt to grab it but Miss Heinous grabs it and it's too late.
  439.  
  440. MISS HEINOUS: I'll get "him" and "her" next time.
  441.  
  442. Miss Heinous and Gemini leave with the tape as well as holding Rasticore's arm.
  443.  
  444.  
  445.  
  446. EXT. DIAZ HOUSEHOLD - DAY
  447.  
  448. Star, Marco, Rafael, and Angie chase Miss Heinous and Gemini.
  449.  
  450. Miss Heinous and Gemini attach the chainsaw into the car, get into the car, and fly off into another dimension.
  451.  
  452. RAFAEL: Ay caramba! That was so close.
  453.  
  454. ANGIE: We're sorry all this happened.
  455.  
  456. STAR: Aw man. Let's clean this place up.
  457.  
  458.  
  459.  
  460. INT. DIAZ HOUSEHOLD - LIVING ROOM - DAY
  461.  
  462. Star casts a spell to clean the house up.
  463.  
  464. STAR: Tidying-Up Tidal Wave!
  465.  
  466. Later on, Star and Marco have a nice, calm, but concerned talk to Rafael and Angie.
  467.  
  468. MARCO: We're really sorry we didn't tell you about our little prison escape adventure at St. O's.
  469.  
  470. STAR: I'm sorry too Mr. and Mrs. Diaz. I usually drag Marco into things but we did what he had to do. The right thing.
  471.  
  472. RAFAEL: It's okay Star. But we feel like you should inform us where you are next time. We don't want both of you to get hurt or kidnapped.
  473.  
  474. MARCO: Uh... You know what's bothering me the past few days. I feel like you're absent from my life. But I understand you two work very hard and I respect that.
  475.  
  476. ANGIE: Honey, is Marco saying that we should.have more family time.
  477.  
  478. RAFAEL: Si, Angie. We can't quit work, but we'll start small.
  479.  
  480. MARCO: How about we play a board game.
  481.  
  482. STAR(simultaneously): Whoo-hoo! Game night! Let's get goin'!
  483. RAFAEL(simultaneously): That's a very good idea, mijo.
  484.  
  485. Later on at night, Marco, Rafael, and Angie play some board games. They are playing "Slides and Ladders" (from "Starsitting") but they also have another game called "Find Words".
  486.  
  487.  
  488.  
  489. EXT. UNKNOWN PLANT - DAY
  490.  
  491. Meanwhile in another dimension with a red starry sky and planets in the background. Miss Heinous' car sits in the middle of a rocky crater.
  492.  
  493. GEMINI: There you are, milady. Pillow is fluffed just the way you like it. Sweet dreams, milady.
  494.  
  495. Gemini climbs into the car's trunk and takes out a Princess Marco doll.
  496.  
  497. GEMINI: And sweet dreams to you too, Princess Marco, the fairest in the land.
  498.  
  499. Miss Heinous still has her cheeks exposed.
  500.  
  501. MISS HEINOUS: I nearly had them! But soon, the multiverse will shiver in fear once I destroy Princess Marco and Princess Butterfly. With you at my side, Rasticore...
  502.  
  503. Rasticore's arm wriggles.
  504.  
  505. MISS HEINOUS: Why, Rasticore! You've grown an elbow! You'll be a big boy again soon. So very soon.
  506.  
  507. THE END.
  508.  
  509. Hope you like it.
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