Piwate

>own a blue fluffy pony with an orange mane
>have a big anger management problem
>get pissed over something or other, sever one of your fluffy's front legs
>calm down enough to realize what you did
>find your fluffy sitting in a corner, crying and nursing his missing hoof
>'wew weggie go? wy fwuffy huwt! fwuffy good fwuffy!"
>fuck, he's going to be whining about that for weeks
>think quickly
>fashion a peg leg and a pirate hat out of newspaper
>He protests at first
>"Nuuuu! Fwuffy dun wik noo weg!"
>Reset him with a car battery
>"You're a pirate. You have a peg leg. You lost it in a battle with a giant sea monster."
>Your fluffy, by some miracle, actually manages to sound like a pirate, albiet a really, really dumb one
>He wanders around the house, trying to conquer everything
>"YAWWWWW! FWUFFY CWAIM BAWW FOR HISSEWF!"
>This goes on for weeks
>It goes from cute to irritating in less than a week
>Eventually he starts breaking things
>First it was a vase you didn't really like all that much; you let it slide, he's still a fluffy pony, after all
>Eventually he knocks over your thousand dollar plasma screen TV
>He cackles triumphantly like he's won something other than an ass-kicking
>"FWUFFY KIWW DA KWAKEN! I BEST PIWATE EVAH!"
>You pick him up by the scruff of the neck; he protests
>"NUUUU! UNHAND ME!"
>You smack him across the nose; he starts to tear up
>You take off the hat and peg leg and put him on the ground
>He sits up and looks around frantically for a few seconds
>"Hewwo hooman! Wan' pway wif fwuffy?"
>He tries walking; he trips due to his non-existent hoof
>"WAAAAAAH! WEW WEGGIE!?"
>goddammit.jpg