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- PLEASE READ THIS VERY CAREFULLY, AND WRITE DOWN ANY CONCEPT YOU DISAGREE WITH OR HAVE SOMETHING TO ADD TO:
- I have been deprived of the perceived feeling of warmth and affection and thus, am starved
- for it. I am on a journey to find someone who i can mutually exchange the act of being
- coddled. I am an extremely weak and dependent person but i am extremely kind.
- As mentioned i have been denied true warmth, which is part of the reason i am a
- misanthrope extremist. Another just as major reason is that my whole life i have been either
- antagonized, or ignored for the most part by others.
- In preschool i was chased on the playground and was regularly in fear at school of being
- punished for not understanding what to do because of my aspergers (high functioning
- autism). When i was supposed to stay still in class and i needed to get up and move and was
- going crazy, the teacher grabbed my belt knuckle to stop me! THIS IS EVIL AND CRUEL. THEY DESERVE PUNISHMENT. I tried to get away but couldn't. I
- was grabbed on the arm by the other teachers sometimes. It wasnt very hard but i was scared. Thats evil. In Pre-K the same things happened. In
- elementary school, i was all alone. The teachers were strict with me. I had lunches i didn't
- want to eat and the yard duty people and older kids who were yard duty people FORCED me
- to eat... I was scared. They are psychopaths. My kindergarten teacher assigned us with "buddy time" with 5th
- graders. I was scared of them and they forced me to do things i didn't want to do. All of the
- kids rejected me and were either rude or didn't care about me. I eventually played some
- wallball with kids in 3rd and 4th grade but i didn't feel any warmth or real connections, and i
- know since they are just regular people they wouldn't abide by the morals i'm going to be
- discussing here. In 5th grade i was ostracized and attacked by the people i used to play with
- because they found out i was in special ed. i also was desperate to fit in with older boys on my street so i would pick on other people with
- them because i was scared they would turn on me otherwise. They took turns favoring someone and picking up on a little flaw in someone
- else to leave them out. They would come out and yell BEST BUDDY to the favored kid and the kid thats left out would cry. The adults
- did some things but didnt do enough to stop them and didnt comfort the kids when they were crying much or try to stop it then. I feel
- this was VERY wrong of the adults not to do more and it makes me furious. Do you feel this way too? Those older kids were evil
- psychopaths who need a large punishment and should have been stopped. Do you agree with tihs? REMEMBER TO KEEP TRACK OF WHAT YOU DONT
- AGREE WITH OR IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO ADD. In middle school i was terribly bullied. It wasn't
- for the normal reasons of being weak. It was half the school that bullied me because i acted
- incredibly funny, immature, and wild, albeit NOT hostile. They said spirits were chasing me so
- i ran and screamed. they said they loved me and i always fell down. i did everything they
- said so they gave me certain equations, and i would say inappropriate answers they assigned
- me to say to each one. Whenever someone pointed at someone, i was told to go to that
- person and say, are you ok? i became so desperate for attention because i was otherwise
- invisible i pretended to be racist because i needed someone to give me stimulation. All the
- kids told me there was a black/jew around and i yelled at that person... I also got furious
- whenever someone got a drink of water because i faked it to get attention. instead of any of
- them giving me positive attention by trying to help me, they all intentionally told me they were
- getting a drink of water to make me go crazy. You see, half the school bullied me and the
- other half, including the teachers, deliberately ignored it everywhere because they thought i
- was acting so wild, which i was, that it wasn't serious. People also called me mr.donkey and i
- went crazy mad and ran around chasing people. People said hi to me (on purpose to get me
- scared) and i ran around frantically. I had the need to be first in and out of the classroom at all
- times and i pushed and shoved my way, and other kids saw how desperate i was to be out
- first, they all ganged up on me by trying to stop me from being the first one out. My special ed
- teacher lectured me on how i had to fit in better every day. She said i need to look at others
- perspectives. EVERYONE IN THE WORLD IS WRONG ONLY IM RIGHT!!!!! It was all the
- same in highschool too. I became homeschooled in 11th grade because i was so insane. My
- parents and therapists said they wouldnt take me places to meet people so long as im
- unhygeinic and dont follow social norms. This infuriates me. Every single one of those people are horrible and needed a serious
- punishment WHEN it was happening. Dont you agree they are evil deranged psychos?!?! THIS IS WRONG. ANYONE
- SHOULD ACCEPT ME AS LONG AS IM NOT HOSTILE. DONT YOU AGREE?!?!! REMEMBER TO KEEP TRACK OF WHAT YOU DONT
- AGREE WITH OR IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO ADD.
- For the next 5 years, i was constantly building anger and hate. Its unimaginable how high it is
- now. Its nuts. I am not at leave to tell you my true thoughts about mankind until you prove
- your compassion as i have been to the police and psychiatric hospital SEVERAL times, due to
- people reporting me for telling them. I constantly pm people on discord, twitch, twitter,
- facebook, youtube, email, mmorpgs, and whatnot and i EVERY FUCKING GODDAMN TIME,
- get either ignored, trolled, or, very rarely some disagreements, but it extremly rarely gets that
- far. NO LIKE MINDED PEOPLE. Either when i got harshly rejected or attacked, i sometimes
- went on an anger rampage. i spent months stalking and harrasing that person saying
- incredibly fucked up and creepy things and relentlessly stuck like glue to them. This was
- however, AFTER i continuasly tried to reason with them and try to explain the very story im
- telling now. Literally the entire final fantasy community despises me. Theres literally not ONE
- exception. They are all one sided and take thier friends perspective and not the broken
- isolated soul just looking for a friend. THEY ATTACKED ME!!!! THERE THE EVIL ONES!!!!
- IM INNOCENT!!!! REMEMBER TO KEEP TRACK OF WHAT YOU DONT
- AGREE WITH OR IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO ADD.
- Due to truly knowing the feeling of being the victim, and living my life as one because i
- overreact and am sensative, i truly feel an incredibly DEEP connection with another victim. In
- order to feel ANY connection with anyone i need them to have hearts of gold essentially. Im
- not trying to be picky ill explain why in just a second. These morals include: 1.) Stick up for a
- victim of bullying, no matter what the reason, and stop the bullies and give them a punishment
- so they wont do it again and to show the victim you care. MAKE A NOTE IF YOU DISAGREE WITH ANYTHING 2.) Acknowledging the fact that
- when little kids argue the adults should take it JUST as seriously as adults arguing even if its childish, and
- instead of telling the kids to stop, they need to make sure to address and possibly punish the
- kid who started the argument, as the other kid was just retaliating as a defense mechanism. MAKE A NOTE IF YOU DISAGREE WITH ANYTHING
- 3). Never killing bugs including mosquitoes (you can just brush them off and move somewhere else) unless its the kind of infestation
- where you have no option. MAKE A NOTE IF YOU DISAGREE WITH ANYTHING 4. Giving
- murderers, rapists, bank robbers, etc. much lighter sentences than many years in prison,
- because giving terrible punishments like that just ruins another life and causes more sorrow
- and destruction. The criminals also often are driven by the kind of anger i have... not that ill
- become one, im just proving my point. We need to seek brain therapy for these people, and
- mabye give them a small time in jail to think but other more efficent and lesser punishments
- are much more compassionate. Watch this video and see if you agree with my points https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-nYRmU_Gxo (copy
- it into your browser) MAKE A NOTE IF YOU DISAGREE WITH ANYTHING 5.) treating animals KINDLY at farms and giving them a
- comfortable living envirnment (I eat meat because my parents say i wouldnt be healthy othererwise), and feel upset, and angry that
- killing animals is the way we get meat. that And ZERO TOLERANCE for enslaving animals such as horses or having them in zoos or
- circuses. MAKE A NOTE IF YOU DISAGREE WITH ANYTHING 6.) Stick
- up for anyone who someone else is being obnoxious
- to even if it isnt considered bullying. MAKE A NOTE IF YOU DISAGREE WITH ANYTHING 7.) Sticking up for, and comforting the women in this
- video, and stopping the man from recording and being disgusted with the youtube comments.
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=3&v=AVKDU2Hb2mg (type this link in your browser) MAKE A NOTE IF YOU DISAGREE WITH
- ANYTHING 8.) Comforting the
- man in the wheelchair despite his overreaction since hes clearly upset and emotional upset,
- and try to stop the recorder from engaging with him further and being disgusted with the
- youtube comments. https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=1&v=94nv7mNzTcs
- (sorry for the commentator this is the only video of it i could find, and type the link in your browser) MAKE A NOTE IF YOU DISAGREE
- WITH ANYTHING 9.) NOT associating with
- ANYONE who bullies, teases, who acts obnoxious often, or who kills bugs MAKE A NOTE IF YOU DISAGREE WITH ANYTHING 10. Feeling sorry
- for all the bugs and animals that get killed by predators and wish the predators didnt have to kill to survive.
- MAKE A NOTE IF YOU DISAGREE WITH ANYTHING
- 11.) Feeling that the comments in this video are cruel, and uncalled for, and that they are horrible people and that the video
- shouldnt have lots of dislikes like that. MAKE A NOTE IF YOU DISAGREE WITH ANYTHING https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GjOS8AzsW3g
- (copy it to your browser)
- REMEMBER TO KEEP TRACK OF WHAT YOU DONT AGREE WITH OR IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO ADD.
- Those are the 9 morals i NEED someone to have for me to feel the warmth and comfot i am
- so starved for... the reason i need them to be this kind is because i am weak and i was a
- victim my whole life. I could imagine myself being born as a bug, and then being killed by the
- people who kill bugs. I obviously could imagine those who wouldnt have stuck up for me in
- my times of being bullied. I could imagine someone not sticking up for me when i was acting
- unreasonable at school and got teased like the women and man in the videos. I could
- imagine myself being an animal in the farm and being treated horribly just for cheaper meat. I
- could imagine myself being young again and being attacked by another kid and screaming
- and overreacting and the adults not condemning the other kids behavior at all.... I could
- imagine myself losing my self in anger and not being able to hold the anger in any longer and
- doing the wrong thing and nobody having sympathy for all the hell ive been through and
- putting me in years of jail.
- Can you see why i couldnt possibly feel warm around someone whgo doesnt follow all the morals?!?! This is why i hate
- mankind to the core. NOBODY GIVES ME WARMTH BECAUSE WHENEVER ANY OF
- THESE MORALS ARE BROKEN I FEEL ATTACKED BECAUSE IM A VICTIM AND HAVE
- BEEN IN SIMILAR SITUATIONS TO ALL THESE SCENARIOS AND AM BONDED TO IT.
- REMEMBER TO KEEP TRACK OF WHAT YOU DONT AGREE WITH OR IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO ADD.
- Im not saying ive always been perfect. I used to occasionally break some of those morals
- when i was young when i was still part of the human race. Luckily for me, im no longer human. I am
- an alien minded figure.
- Listen i dont consider myself a mean person but i need to tell you how i feel about mankind.
- There sheep. Braindead drones. Clones. They all follow the herd. Theyre hyenas who
- pounce and bite the weak or different. They are defected slaves to society and to thier
- genetic code. They have a somewhat lack of freewill. I am enightened. I AM BEYOND
- THEM. Through experience ive learned i was born alien, as the rest of the sheep, unlike me,
- dont, and cannot change. They are so incredibly brutish and thick, they cannot comprehend
- my level of being. THEYRE FILTH! I WANT THEM DEAD! I HATE THEM. I cant tell you yet,
- as i said but soon, if you truly will show me warmth i can tell you my darkest thoughts, which
- are also my truest.
- Please. Please help me. Im 22. My name is Tom Sanders. I havnt been to college. I have
- no job. I cant drive. I live with my parents. I am dependant on them. Im not hygeinic. And i
- have no motivation to do anything. Im a nobody. A defect. A loser. BUT NOT FOR THE
- REASON THOSE BRAINDEAD SHEEP ARE. THEY ARE BECAUSE THEY LET THEIR
- LIFE BE TAKEN AWAY. THEYLL LIE ON THEYRE DEATHBEDS KNOWING THEIR NOT
- UNIQUE. THEYRE REPLACEABLE AND BRAINWASHED BY SOCIETIES CUSTOMS. I
- beg you. Please have mercy on me. Im so desperate. I need warmth. You can see how
- fucked up i am. Please help me please....
- REMEMBER TO KEEP TRACK OF WHAT YOU DONT AGREE WITH OR IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO ADD.
- That is part one of the article. That was the part explaining my morals,my tohughts, and my life story. THIS part explains past sins
- i commited, and sins i still do commit.
- PLEASE READ THIS VERY CAREFULLY AND WRITE DOWN ANY OF MY SINS THAT YOU DONT FORGIVE/ARE NOT OK WITH.
- im not saying i was BORN perfect, but i recognized the evil in me when i
- was young and fixed it unlike everyone else who ignores whatever moral thing i say. Hear this: i used to do bad things. I used to be a
- human (im not human anymore. Not mentally.) i was always different though socially. I used to kill bugs and when i was 7 i squished
- half of an ants body to see what would happen. i hate that i did things like that. i feel bad it was wrong. i changed though unlike
- everyone else. i also was desperate to fit in with older boys who left me out in the past before so i would pick on other people with
- them because i was scared they would turn on me otherwise. They took turns favoring someone and picking up on a little flaw in someone
- else to leave them out. They would come out and yell BEST BUDDY to the favored kid and the kid thats left out would cry. The adults
- did some things but didnt do enough to stop them and didnt comfort the kids when they were crying much or try to stop it then. So you see i
- did bad things because i am a FORMER human. i feel bad that i
- was doing bad before. i wish it didnt happen. its just i hate the fact i shared traits with brainless humans. Thanks to these bullies
- ive been transformed from a autistic kid who still didnt follow all the morals to a perfect being. in my special ed class in
- highschool, i was so alone and desperate for attention i was feeling trapped. i was in a cage. i was going wild. i WAS wild. i had a
- nasty special ed teacher so i was literally going insane. i needed attention so badly i acted inapropriatly on purpose to get another
- student mad at me on purpose. i wasnt even thinking i wasnt ddoing it with malicious intent or for the sake of poking fun at him. i
- just NEEDED attention. i feel bad. especially since the person was a grouchy and unhappy person. he has an abusive grandma who even hit
- him. I wasnt fully developed yet and i was just wild. i couldnt help myself. i wasnt strong enough... that incident haunts me in
- particular. i just was in a cage and i went crazy. i also was once SO antsy and unsettled i was in the woods at my grandpas house when
- i was 11 and i purposely rubs a poison oak leaf on my sistrs coat when people were looking. i have no idea why i did it. i was being
- shunned so much it mightve been subconcious angst idk.. i didnt even try to do it out of malicious intent i just had these bizarre
- compulsions to troll, and i feel bad that i did bad thing s in the past. another bad thing i did was when i was in elementary school.
- i had a lot of claustrophibia. my parents had dogs and when i felt claisstrophobic and they got too close to me i lots of times shoved
- them away. (not that hard thoujgh). i feel terrible i did that but at the time i didnt feel i was being very bad. i was naive enough to
- think they were simple enough that they didnt really care or know what was going on. I DID care about them, i just didnt do a good job
- expressing it. i dont really have more of an excuse. i just made mistakes. again i hadnt developed fully yet. i was still a being a
- human. someone who doesnt follow all of these morals. As you can see, ive made ALOT of mistakes... but hopefully you can understand?
- my parents have a dog now. im nice to it, but i dont usually pet it, i usually dont interact with it because im so addicted to media,
- and the dog rolls in the grass and stuff so i dont really want to touch it, and i dont like it licking my hand and stuff. im just not
- really an animal person... i dont interact with my parents that much either. its a human relationship of loving and coddling i crave.
- mabye if i had that id be different with them? idk... i know i may be hypocritical but dont you feel my pain in my beliefs and hate of
- mankind?! cant you see how its justified? i also tried to repel this person who was being annoying and crying saying he wanted to be
- my friend occasionally but mostly complaining constantly. I really was frustrated at him so even when he yelled go easy in wallball i
- tried to get him out so he would stop getting in my way... i was trying to fit in so i was a normal human back then... i feel bad...
- Since i was human back then, i lacked in compassion because i was so self centered and didnt give in to his needs...in elementary
- school because i found him annoying and i was desperatly trying to fit in elsewhere..(for the record that person ended up having
- frineds in highschool and i had none, AND he rejected me for my absurd behavior... so) that was before the fucking wires in my brain
- were developed. i wasnt created into who i truly was. other people dont change i do. I did bad things. I also saw a kid bullied on a
- few occasions but i was too fucking timid to stick up for him. I was in 8th grade at the time. I feel terrible about these things but
- ive been abused so much it just makes me hate people who dont follow these morals even though i once didnt. I NEED someone to
- sympathize with me. the difference between me and other humans, is that i recognized how evil failing to follow those morals was. They
- dont, and dont even consider it when i BRING IT UP. Ive done countless other bad things. but those covered all the categories
- essentially. you get the idea now. its like the wires in my brain werent developed yet. i know anger is unhealthy, and ill try to stop
- it. one last bad thing i did i was at recess in 3rd grade and i was alone before so i was trying to fit in. i was still a regular
- person at that point and im ashamed of this but the kid that was whining alot was crying trying to win and the other kids were laughing
- about it and plaaying and i didnt help him because i REALLY wanted him out of my life. i feel bad now because i hate what happened but
- i was too focused on myself. do you forgive me....
- do you still sympathize with my beliefs, and feel my anger towards humans is justified, and forgive me fully? i still make
- mistakes. AS YOU DID BEFORE, MAKE A NOTE OF EACH ONE YOU DONT FORGIVE OR ARE NOT OK WITH: People who disagree with me and dont feel
- the same way about things i just stopped talking to because socializing drains me. also, someone on twitch i started talking to but i
- burned out and stopped talking to him because he was hard to talk to... i seem to still MOSTLY only think about myself and my goals.
- im just so tired... i try not to kill bugs, but when a bug is on me and i try to gently brush it off, instead of getting help from my
- parents i just brush it so it gets hurt (not trying to hurt it ofc) if i have to in order to get it off. im to tired and lazy to get
- my parents help and thats a flaw. I also have so many flies in my house that i dont try to catch the flies and release them because
- its lots of work... I also am want to get back to my media so i wait for a second for a flying bug to get out of the way of the sink
- but i dont always wait long enough and i was aware i was takng that risk but i was too lazy... again im self centered. I also did alot
- of other bad things in my past but i cant remember them all... I also watch a comedian who does offensive reaction videos and makes
- fun of people and i laugh sometimes (NOT at the people, but at his reactions) i know it would be best if i didnt do it, but i have such
- limited things that make me enjoyable... will you tolerate/forgive these?
- ill work on waiting longer for the bugs flying around the sink instead of assuming theyll be gone and ill try to get my parents to get
- the bug off if i cant do it very gently. I also sometimes make fun of tv characters, but i think that OK since its jjust fake. I also
- however, sometimes make fun of/joke about people that gave me a hard time in the past or who gave a family member a hard time, even if
- they wernt directly hostile. i feel thats not nice so i will work on that. im not free of that sin yet but i will work on it.
- but the other things might continue...
- so will you forgive me for my flaws/tolerate these? do you still sympathize with my beliefs, and feel my anger towards humans is
- justified, and forgive me fully? Let me know.
- MAKE SURE TO GO BACK AND CHECK IF THERE ARE ANY PAST SINS YOU DONT FORGIVE OR CURRENT SINS YOUR NOT OK WITH.
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