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- >Fluffy pony simply will not eat her fluffy kibble
- >"dees nummies no tase wi' sketties. Can fwuffy pweeeese haf' sketties?"
- >You wish you could make pasta for her, but you simply don't have any
- >And the supermarket is closed because of the snowstorm!
- >Wait..
- >An idea!
- >You've read a few articles on caring for fluffy ponies, and have learned that fluffy pony fluff actually contains a lot of protein
- >A starving family in africa was found eating them or something
- >You get a wonderful, awful idea
- >Off to the kitchen, you grab hold of your old padded electric razor!
- >Luckily for you, fluffy pony has bright yellow fluff
- >You take fluffy pony to the kitchen sink, putting a pan underneath
- >"Why pu' fwuffy in boww?"
- "Relax, sweetie. This... this is gonna go by really fast, okay?"
- >"Wat."
- "daddy's gonna take off all your fluff- just for a little bit! Okay?"
- >"Wha? Why daddy wan' fwuff? Fwuffy wuv fwuff, kee' fwuffy wawm!"
- "It's only gonna be gone for a little while, okay?"
- >"Nooo!"
- "If you let me do this, you'll get spaghetties!"
- >That changes her mind
- >She sits still, waiting for it
- >You plug in the razor and begin to cut all her fluff off
- >She starts crying immediately, feeling colder than before instantly and robbed of her dignity
- >You decide to skip her genital area, sparing her that indecency
- >After a few minutes, fluffy pony sits upon a mound of her own fluff, crying and having forgotten why you took it off in the first place
- >She desperately tries to scoop some up in her hooves, wimpering, "fwuffies com' bac'... *sob*, why fwuffies no stay? Fwuffy cowd..."
- >You pick her up and remove the tray of her fluff
- >Set her down on the counter, huddling into herself for warmth
- >You turn around and empty the plate of flowing blonde lockes onto a plate and quickly blast some ketchup on top
- >Finally, you add a little bit of grated cheese and some parsley for decoration
- >After 50 seconds in the microwave, fluffy's dinner is ready
- >You bring the plate back to your fluffy, who has now completely forgotten that it ever even had fluff
- >in addition, her fluff is actually growing back already - she is covered in a fine layer of stubbs
- >She's rubbing herself all over and squirming, giggling like she's ODing on E
- >"Haha! Funny pokies! Fwuffy feew tickwy!"
- "Hey fluffy! I've got a present for you!"
- >You drop the plate of protein-rich fluffy pasta in front of her
- >"Sketties!!!"
- >She digs in
- >You feel pretty proud of yourself
- >Fluffy pony finishes her meal and you don't have to worry about feeding her anymore
- >You and your pet watch some cartoons until 9, and fluffy's bedtime comes
- >By then, fluffy pony's coat has almost entirely come back in
- >As you tuck her in, she giggles and tells you that today was the "bess' day eva!"
- >Fluffy ponies are pretty neat sometimes
- ALT ENDING
- >It's been a little bit since your not-so-fluffy pony enjoyed its hearty plate of fluffy spaghetti
- >You're getting a little worried
- >Fluffy ponies' fluff is still not growing back
- >Looks like your hypothesis was wrong
- >Fluffy pony is huddled in your lap, still cuddling itself and trying to warm itself up
- >You feel VERY bad
- >Plus you're scared for it
- >You've read that fluffy ponys' skin can become intensely adhesive if their protective fluff is removed for long enough
- >You think and think
- >"Why cowd... daddy hug fwuffy? Ma' wawm?" it mewls, not remembering it was ever fluffy
- >After a bit, you finally start to come to terms with the fact that you may have to actually... put your fluffy pony out of its misery soon...
- >...
- >Wait!
- >Idea!
- >You rush to the drawer where you keep your old cat stuff from when you had one
- >You grab an old yellow ball of yarn
- >You spend a few minutes unrolling the ball, chopping the thread up into small 1.3 inch strips
- >After you think you have enough, fluffy pony's skin has already started secreting its natural glue and her hooves are now stuck to the coffee table
- >"Why weggies stuck? Fwuffy scawed, daddy!" it sobs
- "Don't worry, fluffy, daddy's gonna fix it."
- >For the next hour, you sit down with rubber gloves, glueing individual threads of yarn to your fluffy pony
- >After the most of her is done, you have to quickly rip her off of the coffee table, to her great detriment
- >But you put her down on her back and start adding shorter threads to her leggies, which makes her laugh a lot and wiggle them
- >Soon, her whole sticky body is once again warmed and protected from the hazards of the world by her new yarn coat
- "So, uh... how do you like your new fluff?"
- >"Fwuffy comfy!"
- "Well, you better be, cause that stuff is never coming off."
- >"Fwuffy ge' keep new fwuffies?"
- >You nod yes
- >Fluffy pony loves her new fluff
- >Three weeks later, fluffy pony is murdered in the back yard by a stray cat.
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