NameIsJolly

Fwuffy sketties (Now w/Alt End)

May 11th, 2012
620
0
Never
Not a member of Pastebin yet? Sign Up, it unlocks many cool features!
text 4.71 KB | None | 0 0
  1. >Fluffy pony simply will not eat her fluffy kibble
  2. >"dees nummies no tase wi' sketties. Can fwuffy pweeeese haf' sketties?"
  3. >You wish you could make pasta for her, but you simply don't have any
  4. >And the supermarket is closed because of the snowstorm!
  5. >Wait..
  6. >An idea!
  7. >You've read a few articles on caring for fluffy ponies, and have learned that fluffy pony fluff actually contains a lot of protein
  8. >A starving family in africa was found eating them or something
  9. >You get a wonderful, awful idea
  10. >Off to the kitchen, you grab hold of your old padded electric razor!
  11. >Luckily for you, fluffy pony has bright yellow fluff
  12. >You take fluffy pony to the kitchen sink, putting a pan underneath
  13. >"Why pu' fwuffy in boww?"
  14. "Relax, sweetie. This... this is gonna go by really fast, okay?"
  15. >"Wat."
  16. "daddy's gonna take off all your fluff- just for a little bit! Okay?"
  17. >"Wha? Why daddy wan' fwuff? Fwuffy wuv fwuff, kee' fwuffy wawm!"
  18. "It's only gonna be gone for a little while, okay?"
  19. >"Nooo!"
  20. "If you let me do this, you'll get spaghetties!"
  21. >That changes her mind
  22.  
  23. >She sits still, waiting for it
  24. >You plug in the razor and begin to cut all her fluff off
  25. >She starts crying immediately, feeling colder than before instantly and robbed of her dignity
  26. >You decide to skip her genital area, sparing her that indecency
  27. >After a few minutes, fluffy pony sits upon a mound of her own fluff, crying and having forgotten why you took it off in the first place
  28. >She desperately tries to scoop some up in her hooves, wimpering, "fwuffies com' bac'... *sob*, why fwuffies no stay? Fwuffy cowd..."
  29. >You pick her up and remove the tray of her fluff
  30. >Set her down on the counter, huddling into herself for warmth
  31. >You turn around and empty the plate of flowing blonde lockes onto a plate and quickly blast some ketchup on top
  32. >Finally, you add a little bit of grated cheese and some parsley for decoration
  33. >After 50 seconds in the microwave, fluffy's dinner is ready
  34. >You bring the plate back to your fluffy, who has now completely forgotten that it ever even had fluff
  35. >in addition, her fluff is actually growing back already - she is covered in a fine layer of stubbs
  36. >She's rubbing herself all over and squirming, giggling like she's ODing on E
  37. >"Haha! Funny pokies! Fwuffy feew tickwy!"
  38.  
  39. "Hey fluffy! I've got a present for you!"
  40. >You drop the plate of protein-rich fluffy pasta in front of her
  41. >"Sketties!!!"
  42. >She digs in
  43. >You feel pretty proud of yourself
  44. >Fluffy pony finishes her meal and you don't have to worry about feeding her anymore
  45. >You and your pet watch some cartoons until 9, and fluffy's bedtime comes
  46. >By then, fluffy pony's coat has almost entirely come back in
  47. >As you tuck her in, she giggles and tells you that today was the "bess' day eva!"
  48. >Fluffy ponies are pretty neat sometimes
  49.  
  50. ALT ENDING
  51.  
  52. >It's been a little bit since your not-so-fluffy pony enjoyed its hearty plate of fluffy spaghetti
  53. >You're getting a little worried
  54. >Fluffy ponies' fluff is still not growing back
  55. >Looks like your hypothesis was wrong
  56. >Fluffy pony is huddled in your lap, still cuddling itself and trying to warm itself up
  57. >You feel VERY bad
  58. >Plus you're scared for it
  59. >You've read that fluffy ponys' skin can become intensely adhesive if their protective fluff is removed for long enough
  60. >You think and think
  61. >"Why cowd... daddy hug fwuffy? Ma' wawm?" it mewls, not remembering it was ever fluffy
  62. >After a bit, you finally start to come to terms with the fact that you may have to actually... put your fluffy pony out of its misery soon...
  63. >...
  64. >Wait!
  65. >Idea!
  66. >You rush to the drawer where you keep your old cat stuff from when you had one
  67. >You grab an old yellow ball of yarn
  68. >You spend a few minutes unrolling the ball, chopping the thread up into small 1.3 inch strips
  69. >After you think you have enough, fluffy pony's skin has already started secreting its natural glue and her hooves are now stuck to the coffee table
  70. >"Why weggies stuck? Fwuffy scawed, daddy!" it sobs
  71.  
  72. "Don't worry, fluffy, daddy's gonna fix it."
  73. >For the next hour, you sit down with rubber gloves, glueing individual threads of yarn to your fluffy pony
  74. >After the most of her is done, you have to quickly rip her off of the coffee table, to her great detriment
  75. >But you put her down on her back and start adding shorter threads to her leggies, which makes her laugh a lot and wiggle them
  76. >Soon, her whole sticky body is once again warmed and protected from the hazards of the world by her new yarn coat
  77. "So, uh... how do you like your new fluff?"
  78. >"Fwuffy comfy!"
  79. "Well, you better be, cause that stuff is never coming off."
  80. >"Fwuffy ge' keep new fwuffies?"
  81. >You nod yes
  82. >Fluffy pony loves her new fluff
  83.  
  84. >Three weeks later, fluffy pony is murdered in the back yard by a stray cat.
Advertisement
Add Comment
Please, Sign In to add comment