JEE THIS SURE IS A LONG LIST. WHAT IS IT EVEN FOR?????

- is into RUNNING and/or BIKING to get places
- still plays with bugs
- is overwhelmed by the throes of existentialism
- cries during pretty much every movie (but his family doesn't know :O!!! (OR DO THEY))
- video games are life (am on Steam 24/7 (omg add me :V http://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561197996982775 )
- never ever ever drinks (that is to say alcohol tastes bad, why do people do it) (also I like to maintain my mental faculties thanks (unless I had the opportunity to experimentally obliterate them in which case alcohol doesn't really cut it))
- gets frequent headaches
- surfs on a keyboard through cyberspace
- fancies his ablutions
* can make spaghetti.
- frequently personifies inanimate objects
- finds comfort in the darkness
- runs hot like an engine, needs coolant to operate efficiently
- would like to live in a place where heat is not a luxury but a necessity
- feels trapped in his body
- enjoys starting conversations from the middle
- enjoys puns, both the fantastic and the mundane
- will require the full potential of his willpower to restrain from ruining a perfect moment if he has an equally-perfect joke (just kidding the joke might be abysmal and I'll do it anyway)
- is THRIFTYYYY (which is a nice way of saying stingy or cheap)
- seriously though, when I pay for food I eat my money
- you may take that literally. It's okay, I won't blame you
- possesses the culinary preferences of an average five year old
- does not shy away from the meta
- ISFP
- IS MADE REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE BY SMALLTALK
- is perplexed by the open-endedness implicit in the simplest questions (will be unable to answer "how are you" in a way that satisfies him without contemplating for several minutes)
- places importance on a person's outlook on life rather than their status in life (this is simple okay let's not stop there okay??)
- has qualities and ideas that seem to contradict each other (but they're all true!)
- e.g. has never had an innocent thought in his life (but thinks thoughts innocently)
- is not impressionable nor gullible but is, instead, weirdly suggestible
- is cursed by a sense of humor that stretches to the WAY-tangential (at times you may not understand why I laugh at something and it will be impossible for me to explain coherently (It's like a ticklish roadbump confined to personal experience) (or it might be something that language very nearly does not have a definition for))
 - has no "personal space" bubble
 - will hug for "too long"
 - "quotation" marks
 - is always out of place wherever he goes
 - will make Spongebob references
- owns an expansive list of unrequited desires
- this isn't a powerpoint presentation, move along people
- will fall in love with you if you pet him like a dog
- THE ABOVE IS NOT A JOKE
- (yes do that and then take him home (or vice versa (doesn't matter)))
- Sample Text
- the list ruse was a..... DISTACTION
- i have the car