deadpool2 e2

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00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:15,000
INDOXXI
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HI removed, cleaned, corrected and
missing dialog dashes added by Tronar

2
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(ALL OUT OF LOVE PLAYING)

3
00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:16,095
Fuck Wolverine.

4
00:02:17,222 --> 00:02:19,808
First, he rides my coattails
with the R rating.

5
00:02:19,974 --> 00:02:23,978
Then the hairy motherfucker
ups the ante by dying.

6
00:02:24,437 --> 00:02:26,147
What a dick.

7
00:02:26,648 --> 00:02:28,441
Well, guess what, Wolvie?

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00:02:28,900 --> 00:02:30,819
I'm dying in this one, too.

9
00:02:31,903 --> 00:02:33,103
(X GOIN' GIVE IT
TO YA PLAYING)

10
00:02:34,739 --> 00:02:36,699
To understand
why I took a cat-nap

11
00:02:36,783 --> 00:02:38,868
on 1,200 gallons
of high-test fuel...

12
00:02:39,035 --> 00:02:40,245
I need to take you back

13
00:02:40,328 --> 00:02:42,622
to the dewy slopes
of six weeks ago.

14
00:02:42,789 --> 00:02:44,207
I'd gone international,

15
00:02:44,290 --> 00:02:46,084
taking out mass murderers,
gangsters,

16
00:02:46,167 --> 00:02:47,752
unspeakable monsters.

17
00:02:47,919 --> 00:02:50,630
People nobody would touch.
Except me.

18
00:02:50,839 --> 00:02:53,591
I'm gonna touch them all over.

19
00:02:56,511 --> 00:02:58,388
Hey, it's Gail calling.

20
00:02:58,471 --> 00:02:59,556
Love the shiny suit.

21
00:02:59,722 --> 00:03:00,723
Really brings out

22
00:03:00,807 --> 00:03:02,225
the sex trafficker
in your eyes.

23
00:03:02,433 --> 00:03:04,593
Whatever they're paying, I'll double it.

24
00:03:04,686 --> 00:03:07,772
I don't
speak Cantonese, Mister...

25
00:03:08,815 --> 00:03:10,817
Well, I'm not even gonna
attempt that.

26
00:03:10,900 --> 00:03:13,528
But I did take
8th grade Spanish, so...

27
00:03:13,695 --> 00:03:15,697
Where is the library?

28
00:03:15,780 --> 00:03:18,116
Which literally
translates to...

29
00:03:18,783 --> 00:03:21,411
I don't bargain,
pumpkin fucker.

30
00:03:30,962 --> 00:03:32,171
Uno, dos, tres, cuatro...

31
00:03:45,059 --> 00:03:47,478
I'll take
a cranberry-grapefruit vodka.

32
00:03:47,645 --> 00:03:48,897
I know
it's called a Sea Breeze.

33
00:03:48,980 --> 00:03:50,189
Don't make me say it.

34
00:03:50,565 --> 00:03:51,858
Hit it, Dolly.

35
00:03:52,066 --> 00:03:53,568
(9 TO 5 PLAYING)

36
00:04:09,250 --> 00:04:11,836
Taking the hands out
of the guns of the criminals!

37
00:04:19,218 --> 00:04:21,262
Whoo! Do not go in there!

38
00:04:31,648 --> 00:04:34,609
Oh, God! Oh, God, time out!
Time out!

39
00:04:34,776 --> 00:04:38,237
Cut. Got bad guy blood,
right in my open eye.

40
00:04:38,404 --> 00:04:40,239
Oh, that's so gross.

41
00:04:41,407 --> 00:04:42,867
Fuck.

42
00:04:43,785 --> 00:04:45,662
Scoutmaster Kevin?

43
00:04:51,918 --> 00:04:53,544
Too exotic?

44
00:04:56,255 --> 00:04:57,882
My world tour
brought me home

45
00:04:57,966 --> 00:05:00,385
to this guy,
Sergei Valishnikov.

46
00:05:00,468 --> 00:05:01,928
But we'll get to him
in a moment.

47
00:05:02,011 --> 00:05:03,371
'Cause I know
what you're thinking.

48
00:05:03,388 --> 00:05:06,265
"I'm so glad
I left the kiddos at home."

49
00:05:06,432 --> 00:05:07,725
But that's where
you'd be wrong.

50
00:05:07,934 --> 00:05:10,812
That babysitter of yours
is high as fuck right now...

51
00:05:10,979 --> 00:05:15,149
and, believe it or not,
Deadpool 2 is a family film.

52
00:05:15,316 --> 00:05:16,359
True story.

53
00:05:16,526 --> 00:05:20,196
And every good family film
starts with a vicious murder.

54
00:05:20,363 --> 00:05:23,282
Bambi, The Lion King, Saw 7.

55
00:05:23,449 --> 00:05:26,619
Holy shit pickles!
That guy's on fire.

56
00:05:26,786 --> 00:05:29,539
That's not CGI, folks.
He's actually on fire.

57
00:05:29,706 --> 00:05:32,917
Yeah. You know I get paid
to take out bad guys, right?

58
00:05:33,084 --> 00:05:34,252
But this guy?

59
00:05:34,335 --> 00:05:36,546
He was
one of the worst of 'em.

60
00:05:39,007 --> 00:05:40,550
Hurry up and open
this fucking door,

61
00:05:40,633 --> 00:05:41,913
and let's kill
this motherfucker!

62
00:05:49,058 --> 00:05:50,601
Ugh. So gross.

63
00:05:50,935 --> 00:05:53,271
A panic room? Really?

64
00:05:53,938 --> 00:05:56,024
Can you come out?

65
00:05:56,190 --> 00:05:59,277
I really have to go.
It's my anniversary.

66
00:06:05,033 --> 00:06:06,343
Over and over,
I hear people say,

67
00:06:06,367 --> 00:06:07,847
"I just don't have
enough confidence."

68
00:06:07,994 --> 00:06:10,079
Listen, confidence is not
something you have.

69
00:06:10,163 --> 00:06:11,523
It's something you create.

70
00:06:11,581 --> 00:06:13,541
And you can create it
at any moment in time.

71
00:06:13,708 --> 00:06:15,376
A sense of confidence
is nothing

72
00:06:15,460 --> 00:06:16,826
but a sense of power
within yourself...

73
00:06:16,836 --> 00:06:18,921
a sense of certainty that
you can pull something off.

74
00:06:19,005 --> 00:06:20,649
Start the car!
Start the fucking car!

75
00:06:20,673 --> 00:06:21,674
Dopinder!

76
00:06:21,758 --> 00:06:23,509
Start the fucking car!

77
00:06:30,850 --> 00:06:32,351
Whoo!
Oh, I shit my pants.

78
00:06:32,518 --> 00:06:34,687
Actually, that may
have been me.

79
00:06:34,854 --> 00:06:36,022
Oh, mission accomplished?

80
00:06:36,189 --> 00:06:37,899
Well, in a George W.
sort of way.

81
00:06:38,066 --> 00:06:39,984
Fucker can't stay
in a panic room forever.

82
00:06:40,068 --> 00:06:41,587
Oh, you're living
the dreams, DP.

83
00:06:41,611 --> 00:06:43,404
It has been
quite the run, Dopinder,

84
00:06:43,488 --> 00:06:44,655
and who'da thought?

85
00:06:44,822 --> 00:06:46,991
Now I'm talked about in the
same sentence as Jesus.

86
00:06:47,492 --> 00:06:49,327
Passion of the Christ,
then me.

87
00:06:49,410 --> 00:06:50,536
At least domestically.

88
00:06:50,703 --> 00:06:51,871
We beat them overseas,

89
00:06:51,954 --> 00:06:53,514
where there's no such thing
as religion.

90
00:06:54,082 --> 00:06:56,084
I do want to live the dreams,
Pool Boy.

91
00:06:56,250 --> 00:06:58,461
Taxiing is not as sexy
as it looks.

92
00:06:58,628 --> 00:07:00,278
- I want to fill my...
- Pockets?

93
00:07:00,421 --> 00:07:03,424
What's your poison?
A little, uh, cokey cokey?

94
00:07:03,591 --> 00:07:05,093
Can't maintain an erection

95
00:07:05,176 --> 00:07:06,695
without buying shoes online?

96
00:07:06,719 --> 00:07:08,638
I've never experienced
that last one.

97
00:07:08,721 --> 00:07:10,056
Talk to me, Goose.

98
00:07:10,139 --> 00:07:12,975
I was going to say "soul".
I want to fill my soul.

99
00:07:13,059 --> 00:07:15,978
I want to belong to something,
like you, Pool, sir.

100
00:07:16,145 --> 00:07:17,545
- Dopinder...
- Hmm?

101
00:07:17,897 --> 00:07:19,732
You never cease
to surprise me.

102
00:07:21,234 --> 00:07:23,986
You know, the depth of
your heart is extraordinary.

103
00:07:24,153 --> 00:07:25,780
We all need
a sense of belonging.

104
00:07:25,863 --> 00:07:27,698
We all need
a genuine sense of home.

105
00:07:27,782 --> 00:07:28,783
A place in this world.

106
00:07:28,866 --> 00:07:30,409
I want to become
a contract killer.

107
00:07:30,493 --> 00:07:31,744
I'm sorry.
What did you say?

108
00:07:31,828 --> 00:07:33,830
Remember when
I kidnapped Bandhu

109
00:07:33,913 --> 00:07:35,363
and threatened him
with great violence?

110
00:07:35,373 --> 00:07:36,791
You kind of killed him.

111
00:07:36,874 --> 00:07:38,908
And then remember the movie
Interview with the Vampire?

112
00:07:38,918 --> 00:07:39,919
Don't want to.

113
00:07:40,002 --> 00:07:41,003
When Tom Cruise fed

114
00:07:41,087 --> 00:07:42,880
10-year-old
Kirsten Dunst blood

115
00:07:42,964 --> 00:07:44,090
for the first time...

116
00:07:44,257 --> 00:07:46,592
and she looked up
at his smooth,

117
00:07:46,676 --> 00:07:49,011
handsome face and said...

118
00:07:49,637 --> 00:07:51,389
"I want some more."

119
00:07:51,472 --> 00:07:55,309
Oh, Pool, picture me,
a 10-year-old Kirsten Dunst.

120
00:07:56,227 --> 00:07:58,229
I'll never not picture that.

121
00:07:58,896 --> 00:08:00,606
But I can't wait
to never speak of this,

122
00:08:00,690 --> 00:08:02,066
as soon as possible.

123
00:08:02,567 --> 00:08:05,153
We're here.

124
00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:08,322
You're my Tom Cruise!

125
00:08:08,406 --> 00:08:10,032
And you're
my Kristen Dunst!

126
00:08:10,116 --> 00:08:11,450
Kristen? Kirsten?

127
00:08:16,747 --> 00:08:18,040
Sorry I'm late.

128
00:08:18,374 --> 00:08:19,917
There was a bunch of

129
00:08:20,001 --> 00:08:21,961
handicapable children
stuck in a tree...

130
00:08:22,128 --> 00:08:23,378
- and I had to, uh...
- Uh-uh.

131
00:08:23,713 --> 00:08:26,340
You're right.
I was fighting a caped badass.

132
00:08:26,507 --> 00:08:28,801
But then we discovered
his mom is named Martha, too.

133
00:08:28,926 --> 00:08:29,927
No.

134
00:08:30,344 --> 00:08:31,345
Traffic?

135
00:08:32,013 --> 00:08:33,014
Hmm?

136
00:08:34,098 --> 00:08:35,683
Kiss me
like you miss me, Red.

137
00:08:35,766 --> 00:08:36,767
Well, come here.

138
00:08:39,103 --> 00:08:40,897
(TAKE ON ME PLAYING)

139
00:08:48,613 --> 00:08:50,364
I'm gonna shower
and get out of this suit.

140
00:08:51,115 --> 00:08:52,235
Don't you want
your surprise?

141
00:08:52,325 --> 00:08:54,160
Do I look like
a patient burn victim?

142
00:08:54,952 --> 00:08:56,454
I got one for you, too.

143
00:08:57,371 --> 00:08:58,748
Happy anniversary, baby.

144
00:08:58,915 --> 00:09:00,499
Open, open, open.

145
00:09:02,501 --> 00:09:03,836
Skee-Ball token.

146
00:09:04,295 --> 00:09:05,546
Our first date.

147
00:09:05,713 --> 00:09:06,964
Yup.

148
00:09:07,131 --> 00:09:10,009
That's genuine,
high-grade lead.

149
00:09:12,887 --> 00:09:14,805
I'll keep it forever.

150
00:09:15,264 --> 00:09:16,682
Thank you, baby.

151
00:09:18,309 --> 00:09:20,019
Open yours.
All right, all right.

152
00:09:20,895 --> 00:09:22,230
Oh...

153
00:09:23,606 --> 00:09:25,514
That's just the most
beautiful thing that I've...

154
00:09:25,524 --> 00:09:26,859
I don't know what this is.

155
00:09:27,026 --> 00:09:28,444
My IUD.

156
00:09:28,819 --> 00:09:29,820
A bomb?

157
00:09:29,904 --> 00:09:32,698
No, dick for brains.
My birth control device.

158
00:09:33,199 --> 00:09:34,273
What, you mean that your...

159
00:09:34,283 --> 00:09:35,952
Baby factory's open
for business.

160
00:09:36,118 --> 00:09:37,203
Oh, my God!

161
00:09:37,453 --> 00:09:40,623
Oh, my God! I want a boy!

162
00:09:40,790 --> 00:09:43,584
Or a little girl!
Definitely one or the other!

163
00:09:43,876 --> 00:09:46,712
Oh! And I want our kid
to have only one name.

164
00:09:47,296 --> 00:09:49,799
Like Cher or Todd.

165
00:09:50,591 --> 00:09:52,301
You gotta pump a baby
in me first, cowboy.

166
00:09:52,385 --> 00:09:53,386
Yes, I do.

167
00:09:53,469 --> 00:09:55,336
Let's watch some porn
and show that bed who's boss.

168
00:09:55,346 --> 00:09:56,347
Let's do that.

169
00:09:57,473 --> 00:09:58,933
Papa...

170
00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:01,727
Can you hear me?

171
00:10:03,521 --> 00:10:05,856
Papa, can you see me?

172
00:10:06,023 --> 00:10:08,276
Does this song
sound familiar to you?

173
00:10:10,569 --> 00:10:12,029
May.

174
00:10:12,780 --> 00:10:16,492
Connor, if it's a boy.
May, if it's a girl.

175
00:10:19,161 --> 00:10:21,539
So weird.

176
00:10:21,622 --> 00:10:24,041
Family was always
an F-word to me.

177
00:10:25,543 --> 00:10:28,754
My pile of shit father
took off and bailed.

178
00:10:30,047 --> 00:10:32,247
I mean, it's not like I have
a lot of strong role models

179
00:10:32,300 --> 00:10:34,427
to draw off of for Todd.

180
00:10:35,136 --> 00:10:37,763
Hey. Look at me.

181
00:10:38,931 --> 00:10:41,100
You are not your father.

182
00:10:42,810 --> 00:10:44,020
Besides...

183
00:10:44,186 --> 00:10:49,025
I will never, ever
let our child be named Todd.

184
00:10:50,026 --> 00:10:51,027
But here's the thing,

185
00:10:51,110 --> 00:10:52,361
isn't that how
it always works?

186
00:10:52,987 --> 00:10:54,488
Like in Star Wars,

187
00:10:54,572 --> 00:10:56,615
men are destined
to become their father...

188
00:10:57,325 --> 00:11:00,286
and then have consensual sex
with their sister?

189
00:11:00,453 --> 00:11:02,872
I think you missed
big, big chunks of that movie.

190
00:11:03,831 --> 00:11:05,916
No, I'm pretty sure
Luke nailed her.

191
00:11:06,083 --> 00:11:07,752
Baby, that's Empire.

192
00:11:08,252 --> 00:11:10,838
The point is, kids...

193
00:11:12,340 --> 00:11:14,967
they give us a chance
to be better than we are.

194
00:11:15,801 --> 00:11:17,928
Better than we used to be.

195
00:11:18,512 --> 00:11:21,015
You're a lot smarter
than I look.

196
00:11:21,932 --> 00:11:23,309
I'm gonna go make dessert.

197
00:11:23,768 --> 00:11:26,896
You get the strap-on.
Let's make a super baby.

198
00:11:28,230 --> 00:11:30,358
Pretty sure it doesn't work
that way, but we can try.

199
00:11:31,859 --> 00:11:35,029
What about Krystal?
But with a "K"?

200
00:11:35,404 --> 00:11:36,989
It's too stripper-y.

201
00:11:37,239 --> 00:11:38,616
Kevin with a "K"!

202
00:11:38,783 --> 00:11:40,868
No, too stripper-y, too.

203
00:11:41,452 --> 00:11:43,037
Uh, Earl!

204
00:11:43,412 --> 00:11:45,706
He's gonna go straight to jail

205
00:11:45,790 --> 00:11:47,583
if we name him Earl.

206
00:11:48,042 --> 00:11:49,919
What about Bruce?

207
00:11:50,920 --> 00:11:52,088
No.

208
00:11:52,338 --> 00:11:53,339
Get down.

209
00:11:53,631 --> 00:11:55,049
What?

210
00:12:23,619 --> 00:12:25,371
Baby? Baby?

211
00:12:28,958 --> 00:12:30,042
I'm okay.

212
00:12:30,709 --> 00:12:33,212
Thank God I didn't have to use
the cream cheese spreader.

213
00:13:07,955 --> 00:13:09,415
Please.

214
00:13:14,336 --> 00:13:16,046
Please. Please.

215
00:13:16,213 --> 00:13:19,258
Baby, I'm so sorry.

216
00:13:19,425 --> 00:13:23,262
No!

217
00:16:27,571 --> 00:16:30,282
Papa, can you hear me?

218
00:16:31,575 --> 00:16:32,910
Is it just me, or does

219
00:16:33,035 --> 00:16:34,835
Do You Want to Build
a Snowman? from Frozen...

220
00:16:34,870 --> 00:16:36,246
sound suspiciously like

221
00:16:36,330 --> 00:16:38,207
Papa, Can You Hear Me?
from Yentl?

222
00:16:39,458 --> 00:16:41,794
Papa, can you hear me?

223
00:16:43,587 --> 00:16:45,923
And nobody
fucking realizes it.

224
00:16:46,090 --> 00:16:48,634
Go home. You've been here
for three days, okay?

225
00:16:49,134 --> 00:16:51,261
You smell like somebody shit
in a Civil War wound...

226
00:16:51,428 --> 00:16:52,888
after it had become
gangrenous.

227
00:16:53,055 --> 00:16:55,140
They should've just amputated it.
Why shit in it?

228
00:16:55,307 --> 00:16:56,475
Doesn't make any sense.

229
00:16:56,809 --> 00:16:58,227
I love Frozen.

230
00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:01,814
I loved her. I loved her
like an ocean loves water.

231
00:17:02,064 --> 00:17:03,273
An ocean is water.

232
00:17:03,357 --> 00:17:08,028
More importantly, I liked her.
I really liked her, you know?

233
00:17:08,529 --> 00:17:09,655
George Michael was right.

234
00:17:09,738 --> 00:17:11,573
I'm never gonna
dance again. Fuck!

235
00:17:12,199 --> 00:17:13,200
He's dead, too.

236
00:17:14,576 --> 00:17:16,203
At least we still have Bowie.

237
00:17:16,578 --> 00:17:20,416
Yeah. We still have Bowie.

238
00:17:20,999 --> 00:17:22,000
I'm sorry.

239
00:17:22,418 --> 00:17:23,460
Shot after shot,

240
00:17:23,544 --> 00:17:25,624
it's not gonna change the fact
that I think you're...

241
00:17:25,754 --> 00:17:27,246
Are you pissing?
Are you urinating right now?

242
00:17:27,256 --> 00:17:29,883
You're making the face that
you make when you urinate.

243
00:17:30,050 --> 00:17:31,650
- Is he pissing?
- I'm on it!

244
00:17:31,927 --> 00:17:33,178
There you go, Dopinder.

245
00:17:33,345 --> 00:17:35,139
If you want to be
a contract killer...

246
00:17:35,305 --> 00:17:37,725
you gotta handle a mop
before you handle a gun.

247
00:17:37,891 --> 00:17:38,966
Although I don't
quite understand

248
00:17:38,976 --> 00:17:40,185
how they are at all similar.

249
00:17:40,394 --> 00:17:42,688
Well, they both have handles.
Now, leave me.

250
00:17:43,731 --> 00:17:45,274
Go home, Wade.

251
00:17:45,441 --> 00:17:47,818
I don't have a home,
Weas, you know. I got a...

252
00:17:48,318 --> 00:17:50,529
Fuck! Okay, I'm fine.

253
00:17:50,696 --> 00:17:51,697
I'm fine.

254
00:17:51,780 --> 00:17:53,490
You know what "fine"
stands for, Wade?

255
00:17:53,657 --> 00:17:56,994
Fucked up, insecure,
needy, and emotional.

256
00:17:57,411 --> 00:17:58,662
According to the...

257
00:17:59,997 --> 00:18:01,165
- Kubler-Ross.
- Yeah.

258
00:18:01,498 --> 00:18:03,292
According to
the Kubler-Ross model...

259
00:18:03,459 --> 00:18:06,086
denial is just one of
the five stages of grief.

260
00:18:06,253 --> 00:18:08,213
Jesus Christ, Buck!

261
00:18:08,630 --> 00:18:10,549
No more speaking lines
for you.

262
00:18:46,668 --> 00:18:47,669
"I'm thinking it over!"

263
00:18:47,836 --> 00:18:49,379
Motherfuck!

264
00:18:49,546 --> 00:18:50,547
Fuck!

265
00:18:53,509 --> 00:18:54,968
The hell you doin' here?

266
00:18:55,135 --> 00:18:56,553
Don't you know
how to knock?

267
00:18:56,970 --> 00:18:58,847
I thought you saw me...

268
00:18:59,014 --> 00:19:00,349
with your ears.

269
00:19:00,516 --> 00:19:01,757
You're lucky I didn't
shoot you in the...

270
00:19:01,767 --> 00:19:02,768
The wall?

271
00:19:02,893 --> 00:19:06,271
The refrigerator?
I'm in so much pain.

272
00:19:09,066 --> 00:19:10,651
I heard the news,
sweetie.

273
00:19:10,818 --> 00:19:12,569
I'm very sorry. I am.

274
00:19:12,945 --> 00:19:14,404
What am I gonna do, Al?

275
00:19:14,905 --> 00:19:16,615
Probably something terrible.

276
00:19:17,783 --> 00:19:19,034
Knowing you.

277
00:19:19,201 --> 00:19:20,744
It was my fault.

278
00:19:21,954 --> 00:19:23,831
I fucking did this.

279
00:19:24,706 --> 00:19:26,708
And all I wanna do
is grab her and see her

280
00:19:26,792 --> 00:19:28,585
and tell her that I'm sorry,
and I can't.

281
00:19:30,462 --> 00:19:32,089
She's gone.

282
00:19:32,214 --> 00:19:35,133
Sweetheart,
can you speak up?

283
00:19:35,884 --> 00:19:37,302
It's a little hard to hear you

284
00:19:37,386 --> 00:19:38,887
with that pity dick
in your mouth.

285
00:19:39,012 --> 00:19:41,932
Now, look, sugar.
You need to just keep living.

286
00:19:42,140 --> 00:19:43,141
Thank you...

287
00:19:43,308 --> 00:19:46,436
Matthew McConaughey,
your words are a treasure.

288
00:19:46,603 --> 00:19:48,647
Listen to the pain.

289
00:19:48,730 --> 00:19:51,358
It's both history teacher
and fortune teller.

290
00:19:51,525 --> 00:19:54,403
Pain teaches us
who we are, Wade.

291
00:19:55,195 --> 00:19:58,448
Sometimes, it's so bad,
we feel like we're dying.

292
00:19:59,116 --> 00:20:01,827
But we can't really live till
we've died a little, can we?

293
00:20:04,329 --> 00:20:05,539
Wade?

294
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:09,700
- Wade?
- I'm right here, Althea.

295
00:20:10,085 --> 00:20:12,796
And that is
the most beautiful thing

296
00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:14,089
I've ever heard.

297
00:20:14,756 --> 00:20:16,300
You're absolutely right.

298
00:20:20,220 --> 00:20:22,598
I'm about to do
something terrible.

299
00:20:24,725 --> 00:20:26,393
(ALL OUT OF LOVE
PLAYING ON MUSIC BOX)

300
00:20:26,518 --> 00:20:28,729
There. All caught up.

301
00:20:28,896 --> 00:20:31,607
You can't really live
until you've died a little.

302
00:20:31,815 --> 00:20:33,525
Let's test that theory,
shall we?

303
00:20:46,121 --> 00:20:48,040
Baby factory's open
for business.

304
00:20:52,127 --> 00:20:53,879
Your crazy
matches my crazy.

305
00:20:54,338 --> 00:20:56,399
I will never, ever
let our child be named Todd.

306
00:20:56,423 --> 00:20:58,050
Skee-Ball token.

307
00:20:59,885 --> 00:21:02,429
Happy International
Women's Day.

308
00:21:03,055 --> 00:21:04,212
Listen,
I've been thinking a lot.

309
00:21:04,222 --> 00:21:05,223
Really?

310
00:21:05,307 --> 00:21:06,423
About why
we're so good together.

311
00:21:06,433 --> 00:21:07,726
I love you,
Wade Wilson.

312
00:21:10,270 --> 00:21:11,688
Ness?

313
00:21:13,190 --> 00:21:14,274
Ness?

314
00:21:15,108 --> 00:21:16,109
Ness.

315
00:21:16,818 --> 00:21:19,404
Ness, there's something here.
I can't get to you.

316
00:21:21,198 --> 00:21:23,283
Your heart's not
in the right place.

317
00:21:23,784 --> 00:21:25,619
Wait, hold on. What?

318
00:21:26,453 --> 00:21:28,372
Your heart's not
in the right place.

319
00:21:28,538 --> 00:21:29,665
Wait. What do you mean

320
00:21:29,748 --> 00:21:31,708
my heart's not in the right place?
What does it...

321
00:21:51,103 --> 00:21:53,563
I'm terribly sorry
for your loss, Wade.

322
00:21:53,730 --> 00:21:55,190
You're broken.

323
00:21:55,357 --> 00:21:58,694
Oh, God.
I know that voice.

324
00:22:02,406 --> 00:22:03,949
"Heart's in the right place."

325
00:22:04,116 --> 00:22:05,649
"Heart's in the right..."
What does that mean?

326
00:22:05,659 --> 00:22:07,327
You've been sleep
for three days.

327
00:22:07,494 --> 00:22:09,246
I took the liberty
of dressing you.

328
00:22:09,329 --> 00:22:10,580
No shit.

329
00:22:10,747 --> 00:22:12,541
Why can't I fucking die?

330
00:22:12,708 --> 00:22:14,126
Take your mask off, Wade.

331
00:22:14,292 --> 00:22:15,836
We must talk.

332
00:22:16,003 --> 00:22:18,213
You need fresh start.

333
00:22:18,296 --> 00:22:20,757
With training,
you can be X-Man.

334
00:22:20,924 --> 00:22:23,010
You're wasting your time,
Shiny Jesus.

335
00:22:23,093 --> 00:22:24,219
I'm not X-Man material.

336
00:22:24,428 --> 00:22:26,013
Understatement of the year.

337
00:22:26,471 --> 00:22:27,472
Wade, Yukio.

338
00:22:27,931 --> 00:22:29,099
Yukio, Wade.

339
00:22:29,891 --> 00:22:32,019
What in the fuck knuckles
is this?

340
00:22:32,185 --> 00:22:33,937
She's my girlfriend,
you intolerant shit.

341
00:22:34,730 --> 00:22:36,523
Whoa! Pump the hate brakes,
Fox & Friends.

342
00:22:36,690 --> 00:22:38,290
I'm just surprised
anyone would date you.

343
00:22:38,358 --> 00:22:40,444
Especially Pinkie Pie
from My Little Pony.

344
00:22:41,194 --> 00:22:42,529
I like this guy.

345
00:22:43,071 --> 00:22:44,364
Give him a chance.

346
00:22:45,198 --> 00:22:46,314
It's great seeing you
like this.

347
00:22:46,324 --> 00:22:48,493
Yeah.

348
00:22:48,952 --> 00:22:49,953
Bye, Wade!

349
00:22:50,328 --> 00:22:52,664
Now, some ground rules
while under our roof.

350
00:22:52,831 --> 00:22:55,500
"Rule number one.
No killing...

351
00:22:55,667 --> 00:22:59,004
"anyone ever,
no matter how bad.

352
00:22:59,171 --> 00:23:01,631
"Rule two. Label everything
in refrigerator."

353
00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:02,841
Wade?

354
00:23:03,717 --> 00:23:04,760
Wade?

355
00:23:05,010 --> 00:23:06,053
Wade!

356
00:23:06,136 --> 00:23:07,721
Don't try to chase me.

357
00:23:07,888 --> 00:23:10,098
I'm not ready
to be touched again.

358
00:23:10,390 --> 00:23:12,392
All these elderly white men
on the walls...

359
00:23:12,559 --> 00:23:14,186
Should have brought
my rape whistle.

360
00:23:14,352 --> 00:23:15,562
Hi.

361
00:23:15,645 --> 00:23:17,814
Those were already damaged
after they fell there!

362
00:23:18,523 --> 00:23:20,283
What am I supposed
to do around here, anyway?

363
00:23:20,442 --> 00:23:22,527
Sit in a share circle,
talk about my feelings?

364
00:23:22,694 --> 00:23:25,030
And how would I
do that exactly?

365
00:23:25,655 --> 00:23:28,158
'Cause where the fuck
is everyone?

366
00:23:28,325 --> 00:23:29,326
It's always just you

367
00:23:29,409 --> 00:23:30,692
and Negasonic Teenage
Longest Name Ever...

368
00:23:30,702 --> 00:23:31,703
Enough!

369
00:23:32,037 --> 00:23:33,830
I said no touching!

370
00:23:35,582 --> 00:23:38,168
What the fuck?

371
00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:40,962
You'd think the studio
would throw us a bone.

372
00:23:41,421 --> 00:23:43,632
They can't just dust off
one of the famous X-Men?

373
00:23:43,799 --> 00:23:45,801
How 'bout that putz
with the giant pigeon wings?

374
00:23:45,967 --> 00:23:47,127
What do those do anyway, huh?

375
00:23:47,177 --> 00:23:48,537
Carry him
three feet off the ground

376
00:23:48,595 --> 00:23:50,514
to snatch up
the nearest muffin crumb?

377
00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:52,724
No, no, no!

378
00:23:52,891 --> 00:23:55,685
I am not X-Man material
at all.

379
00:23:55,852 --> 00:23:58,063
First off...

380
00:23:58,355 --> 00:24:00,440
I'm not even a virgin.
Second and more...

381
00:24:02,609 --> 00:24:03,652
I should have left you

382
00:24:03,735 --> 00:24:05,403
in the self-pitying mess
I found you in.

383
00:24:05,570 --> 00:24:08,448
But this is what friends do.
They show up!

384
00:24:08,615 --> 00:24:10,283
Not when convenient or easy.

385
00:24:10,659 --> 00:24:14,037
When hard,
and you always make it hard.

386
00:24:15,038 --> 00:24:17,457
You are unwell.

387
00:24:17,624 --> 00:24:19,626
I'm sticking my neck out
bringing you here.

388
00:24:19,751 --> 00:24:21,503
Wait.
One of the assholes

389
00:24:21,586 --> 00:24:23,088
who killed Vanessa got away.

390
00:24:25,674 --> 00:24:27,676
Oh, Jesus Christ!

391
00:24:28,176 --> 00:24:30,220
Wade, whoever they are...

392
00:24:30,387 --> 00:24:33,181
we track them down
and bring them to justice.

393
00:24:33,598 --> 00:24:34,933
It was me.

394
00:24:38,019 --> 00:24:39,604
I'm the asshole who got away.

395
00:24:40,730 --> 00:24:43,358
I killed every last one
of them, except me.

396
00:24:43,733 --> 00:24:45,443
Couldn't kill me.

397
00:24:48,738 --> 00:24:50,740
We were gonna start a family.

398
00:24:52,534 --> 00:24:54,452
We were, uh...

399
00:24:55,745 --> 00:24:57,747
We were gonna be a family.

400
00:24:58,248 --> 00:24:59,249
Wade...

401
00:24:59,416 --> 00:25:02,210
Vanessa is gone.
She's not coming back.

402
00:25:03,795 --> 00:25:06,006
This may not be
family you want...

403
00:25:06,173 --> 00:25:08,175
but it's family you need.

404
00:25:08,633 --> 00:25:09,885
You have a good heart.

405
00:25:09,968 --> 00:25:11,511
It belongs here
where it can grow.

406
00:25:13,305 --> 00:25:14,347
What did you say?

407
00:25:16,349 --> 00:25:17,684
About my heart?

408
00:25:23,190 --> 00:25:25,192
I think
I'm in the right place.

409
00:26:39,224 --> 00:26:40,225
Wade.

410
00:26:41,017 --> 00:26:42,018
Wade!

411
00:26:42,686 --> 00:26:45,438
Hey, I was just taking Cerebro
for a spin here...

412
00:26:45,605 --> 00:26:47,190
looking deep into the future.

413
00:26:47,357 --> 00:26:48,525
Phew. This thing...

414
00:26:48,692 --> 00:26:50,600
- That's not how Cerebro works.
- That's not how Cerebro works.

415
00:26:50,610 --> 00:26:52,153
Yes. Yes, it is.

416
00:26:52,612 --> 00:26:54,155
We have mission.
We have mission.

417
00:26:54,322 --> 00:26:56,116
We do. You do.

418
00:26:56,283 --> 00:26:57,450
You guys be safe out there.

419
00:26:57,617 --> 00:27:00,370
- No, I want you to join.
- No, you want me to join.

420
00:27:01,955 --> 00:27:03,081
I'm sorry, what?

421
00:27:03,290 --> 00:27:04,708
You are ready.

422
00:27:04,874 --> 00:27:06,574
That's a terrible idea,
and it's gonna end badly.

423
00:27:06,584 --> 00:27:08,503
You wanna know how I know?
I'll give you a hint.

424
00:27:08,670 --> 00:27:09,754
It's on my head

425
00:27:09,838 --> 00:27:11,673
and smells
like Patrick Stewart.

426
00:27:11,965 --> 00:27:13,591
Be at the X-Jet in five.

427
00:27:16,803 --> 00:27:19,306
Irene Merryweather,
WHIT News.

428
00:27:19,472 --> 00:27:21,349
Live here
at a breaking news situation

429
00:27:21,433 --> 00:27:24,019
at the Essex House
for Mutant Rehabilitation.

430
00:27:24,185 --> 00:27:26,062
A mutant boy
is appearing to have

431
00:27:26,146 --> 00:27:27,355
some sort of an incident...

432
00:27:27,439 --> 00:27:29,306
- with police here behind me.
- Get away from me!

433
00:27:29,316 --> 00:27:31,568
There are two police vehicles
that are overturned.

434
00:27:31,735 --> 00:27:33,184
- There are open fires.
- Fuck off! Stay back!

435
00:27:33,194 --> 00:27:34,269
A scene of
absolute chaos here.

436
00:27:34,279 --> 00:27:35,280
Calm down.

437
00:27:35,363 --> 00:27:38,116
I'll burn you!
You stay back!

438
00:27:38,825 --> 00:27:40,493
Get away from me!

439
00:27:40,660 --> 00:27:43,121
You wanna fucking die?

440
00:27:58,094 --> 00:28:01,181
And it appears as if the X-Men
are arriving...

441
00:28:01,348 --> 00:28:02,349
Scatter!

442
00:28:02,932 --> 00:28:04,772
...with what appears
to be a trainee.

443
00:28:04,976 --> 00:28:07,854
Everyone, calm down!
The pros are here. I...

444
00:28:08,021 --> 00:28:09,105
We're the X-Men!

445
00:28:09,189 --> 00:28:11,358
A dated metaphor for racism
in the '60s.

446
00:28:11,816 --> 00:28:13,693
So, respect.

447
00:28:14,361 --> 00:28:15,612
At ease, Officer.

448
00:28:17,072 --> 00:28:18,615
What are you doing?

449
00:28:19,074 --> 00:28:20,241
My job!

450
00:28:20,533 --> 00:28:21,858
You're the one who said
I was ready,

451
00:28:21,868 --> 00:28:23,328
and I frankly disagreed
with you.

452
00:28:23,411 --> 00:28:25,705
But here we are, trying to
overcome our differences.

453
00:28:25,872 --> 00:28:28,291
Like Beyonce says, "Please...

454
00:28:29,125 --> 00:28:30,668
"Please, stop cheating on me."

455
00:28:30,752 --> 00:28:31,753
Hey!

456
00:28:31,836 --> 00:28:32,962
This is the fifth incident.

457
00:28:33,129 --> 00:28:35,215
This kid needs to be
in the Ice Box, not here.

458
00:28:35,382 --> 00:28:37,008
Russell belongs
in our care.

459
00:28:37,175 --> 00:28:38,843
Not in prison.
I assure you...

460
00:28:38,927 --> 00:28:40,085
we have everything
under control.

461
00:28:40,095 --> 00:28:41,322
Stay back!
I'll burn you!

462
00:28:41,346 --> 00:28:42,430
Not getting a real

463
00:28:42,514 --> 00:28:44,265
"under control"
vibe here, Marty.

464
00:28:44,599 --> 00:28:46,449
- It is Glen, isn't it?
- Daniel.

465
00:28:46,518 --> 00:28:48,937
I'll ask the questions.
Let me talk to the kid.

466
00:28:49,104 --> 00:28:53,274
You stay here with your weird,
secret sex lips.

467
00:28:55,360 --> 00:28:56,361
You wanna die?

468
00:28:56,444 --> 00:28:57,588
This kid's adorable.

469
00:28:57,612 --> 00:28:58,770
I don't know why I packed
the hollow points.

470
00:28:58,780 --> 00:29:00,115
I'll burn your balls off!

471
00:29:00,281 --> 00:29:02,784
First day.
I'm so nervous!

472
00:29:03,660 --> 00:29:05,161
Did you just say
"hollow points"?

473
00:29:05,412 --> 00:29:06,579
Yeah, probably should've

474
00:29:06,663 --> 00:29:08,706
brought a Super Soaker.

475
00:29:09,332 --> 00:29:10,333
Hi, there!

476
00:29:11,626 --> 00:29:14,087
Stay back
or Justin Bieber dies!

477
00:29:14,170 --> 00:29:17,632
Justin Bieber.
He called you Justin Bieber.

478
00:29:18,758 --> 00:29:20,677
Hold on! Wait, wait, wait!

479
00:29:20,760 --> 00:29:23,721
Okay, let's not do
whatever that is.

480
00:29:23,888 --> 00:29:25,265
Okay? Let's just talk!

481
00:29:25,432 --> 00:29:26,683
It's Russell, right?

482
00:29:27,100 --> 00:29:28,935
- Firefist.
- Firefist.

483
00:29:29,394 --> 00:29:31,521
Ooh, that's a great name.
Where does it burn?

484
00:29:31,604 --> 00:29:33,404
Just the fist,
or all the way up to the elbow?

485
00:29:38,319 --> 00:29:40,447
Definitely
all the way up to the elbow.

486
00:29:40,864 --> 00:29:42,824
Come quietly,
or there will be trouble.

487
00:29:43,700 --> 00:29:46,050
- You stole that from Robocop!
- That's from Robocop!

488
00:29:46,536 --> 00:29:48,121
Just stand down!

489
00:29:48,204 --> 00:29:50,206
You're embarrassing me.
Look, Fire...

490
00:29:51,666 --> 00:29:53,918
Oh, my God! I can't say it!
I'm so sorry!

491
00:29:58,715 --> 00:30:02,302
Oh, shit!
That fucking does it!

492
00:30:02,760 --> 00:30:04,095
Put your hands
behind your knees

493
00:30:04,179 --> 00:30:05,638
and get down
on your head! Now!

494
00:30:05,722 --> 00:30:07,974
Wade! What was first rule?

495
00:30:08,057 --> 00:30:09,893
Label everything
in the refrigerator!

496
00:30:10,059 --> 00:30:12,604
- Do not escalate!
- Rules are meant to be broken!

497
00:30:12,770 --> 00:30:14,147
That's the exact opposite

498
00:30:14,230 --> 00:30:15,607
of what they're meant for!

499
00:30:16,524 --> 00:30:17,984
Fuck! Fine!

500
00:30:18,526 --> 00:30:19,686
I'll start
from the beginning.

501
00:30:20,195 --> 00:30:22,572
My name is Deadpool,
and I'm an X-Man.

502
00:30:22,655 --> 00:30:24,574
- Trainee!
- Shut it!

503
00:30:25,492 --> 00:30:27,785
Look, I get it.

504
00:30:28,953 --> 00:30:30,580
All right, you're scared.

505
00:30:31,122 --> 00:30:32,165
Alone.

506
00:30:32,248 --> 00:30:33,291
You got no family.

507
00:30:33,374 --> 00:30:34,449
I didn't have
a family, either.

508
00:30:34,459 --> 00:30:36,127
You live in this dump.
Guess what?

509
00:30:36,211 --> 00:30:37,921
I used to live
in a shithole just like it.

510
00:30:38,880 --> 00:30:41,341
But you know something?
To make matters worse...

511
00:30:41,424 --> 00:30:43,218
it's a confusing time
in your life right now.

512
00:30:43,384 --> 00:30:46,888
Your body is going through
some fiery changes.

513
00:30:47,055 --> 00:30:48,848
Too far?
I went too far, didn't I?

514
00:30:56,231 --> 00:30:57,732
That was effervescent.

515
00:30:58,274 --> 00:31:00,109
Stay in school, kid.

516
00:31:00,568 --> 00:31:02,070
Or don't. I didn't.

517
00:31:02,570 --> 00:31:04,030
And I'm an X-Man.

518
00:31:04,197 --> 00:31:05,198
Trainee.

519
00:31:05,365 --> 00:31:06,491
Fuck it!

520
00:31:06,658 --> 00:31:08,409
Superhero landing coming up!

521
00:31:12,205 --> 00:31:13,581
Ah, fuck, fuck, fuck!

522
00:31:13,790 --> 00:31:15,542
That is so not practical.

523
00:31:36,604 --> 00:31:38,356
I could get used
to this X-Man shit.

524
00:31:38,439 --> 00:31:39,542
Trainee!

525
00:31:39,566 --> 00:31:40,567
Trainee!

526
00:31:40,984 --> 00:31:42,735
Get a power restraint
on him. Now!

527
00:31:42,819 --> 00:31:45,905
Calm down, squirt.
It's over. We got ya.

528
00:31:47,865 --> 00:31:49,284
What's that do?

529
00:31:49,450 --> 00:31:50,910
Power-dampening collar.

530
00:31:50,994 --> 00:31:52,234
Shuts down
all mutant abilities.

531
00:31:52,370 --> 00:31:55,081
You can't get it off.
Unless you've got a grenade.

532
00:31:55,164 --> 00:31:58,126
Huh. Could've used
one of those in the first act.

533
00:31:58,209 --> 00:31:59,419
Thank you!

534
00:32:01,296 --> 00:32:03,506
That was
absolutely thrilling.

535
00:32:03,673 --> 00:32:05,675
True heroism in action.

536
00:32:05,842 --> 00:32:07,510
We are in your debt.

537
00:32:08,303 --> 00:32:09,887
We can take it from here.

538
00:32:10,054 --> 00:32:12,140
Take me
to the Ice Box, please!

539
00:32:12,307 --> 00:32:13,474
Anywhere's better than here.

540
00:32:13,558 --> 00:32:14,767
Believe me, son,

541
00:32:14,851 --> 00:32:16,227
you do not wanna go
to the Ice Box.

542
00:32:16,436 --> 00:32:18,313
Let's get you inside,
young man.

543
00:32:18,396 --> 00:32:20,231
No, wait, wait. Wait.

544
00:32:20,398 --> 00:32:21,899
You guys stay there.

545
00:32:31,993 --> 00:32:33,620
Those guys hurt you?

546
00:32:35,038 --> 00:32:36,080
Who?

547
00:32:38,124 --> 00:32:40,793
Baldilocks? Jared Kushner?

548
00:32:42,295 --> 00:32:43,796
Both of 'em?

549
00:32:47,675 --> 00:32:49,177
Oh, fuck it.

550
00:32:49,260 --> 00:32:50,720
Four or five moments!

551
00:32:50,887 --> 00:32:51,888
I'm sorry?

552
00:32:51,971 --> 00:32:55,141
Four or five moments!

553
00:32:56,392 --> 00:32:59,145
That's all it takes
to be a hero.

554
00:33:00,063 --> 00:33:02,190
People think
you wake up a hero...

555
00:33:02,315 --> 00:33:04,067
brush your teeth a hero...

556
00:33:04,651 --> 00:33:07,153
ejaculate into
a soap dispenser a hero.

557
00:33:09,030 --> 00:33:12,784
But, no, being a hero
takes only a few moments!

558
00:33:14,118 --> 00:33:15,745
A few moments...

559
00:33:15,828 --> 00:33:18,373
doing the ugly stuff
no one else will do.

560
00:33:22,001 --> 00:33:23,127
No!

561
00:33:25,797 --> 00:33:27,149
Stand down!
Hold your fire!

562
00:33:27,173 --> 00:33:29,323
- Wade, what did you do?
- Colossus, no!

563
00:33:29,467 --> 00:33:30,927
That kid was abused!
You can tell.

564
00:33:31,010 --> 00:33:32,738
- You can always tell!
- We have rules!

565
00:33:32,762 --> 00:33:35,306
You are not judge,
jury or executioner!

566
00:33:35,473 --> 00:33:38,309
Fuck your rules!
I fight for what's right!

567
00:33:38,393 --> 00:33:39,977
And sometimes
you gotta fight dirty!

568
00:33:40,103 --> 00:33:43,272
You let me down
for the last time, Wade.

569
00:33:46,526 --> 00:33:48,695
Okay,
get these guys in the pod.

570
00:33:48,861 --> 00:33:51,072
Take them to the Ice Box.

571
00:34:11,676 --> 00:34:12,677
Hey, baby!

572
00:34:13,761 --> 00:34:15,888
I wonder what gang
I'll be in.

573
00:34:16,055 --> 00:34:17,390
Yeah!

574
00:34:17,557 --> 00:34:19,809
- Is there, like, a Sorting Hat?
- Hi.

575
00:34:21,686 --> 00:34:22,687
Go!

576
00:34:25,898 --> 00:34:27,150
Hard left, douchebag.

577
00:34:31,612 --> 00:34:32,780
Please, after you.

578
00:34:33,906 --> 00:34:36,075
Another disgusting mutant
off the streets.

579
00:34:36,159 --> 00:34:37,160
God bless America.

580
00:34:37,326 --> 00:34:38,578
Let's get a taco.

581
00:34:42,165 --> 00:34:44,751
Nighty-night,
you annoying prick!

582
00:35:17,158 --> 00:35:20,161
I'mma tell you
what the big lie is.

583
00:35:20,328 --> 00:35:21,848
Toilet paper.

584
00:35:21,996 --> 00:35:25,082
Toilet paper
is a plenty fine appetizer.

585
00:35:25,249 --> 00:35:27,335
But, then...

586
00:35:27,502 --> 00:35:29,796
Huggies Natural Care
wet wipes.

587
00:35:29,962 --> 00:35:31,297
That's your main course.

588
00:35:31,464 --> 00:35:34,592
They're soft, they're moist.
They're for babies.

589
00:35:35,259 --> 00:35:38,179
Finally, one more pass
with the toilet paper,

590
00:35:38,262 --> 00:35:39,972
maybe clear out
that excess moisture.

591
00:35:40,139 --> 00:35:41,682
Maybe treat yourself
to a blow and go,

592
00:35:41,766 --> 00:35:43,017
if you can get you
a hair dryer.

593
00:35:43,100 --> 00:35:45,436
Just about 30 seconds
will do you good.

594
00:35:49,148 --> 00:35:50,149
The fuck?

595
00:35:51,400 --> 00:35:52,443
Year?

596
00:35:53,444 --> 00:35:54,445
What?

597
00:35:55,655 --> 00:35:57,281
What year is it?

598
00:35:57,448 --> 00:35:59,450
What kind of dumbass
question is that to ask?

599
00:36:18,803 --> 00:36:21,013
You're a long way
from your superpowers.

600
00:36:21,180 --> 00:36:22,181
Yeah.

601
00:36:25,977 --> 00:36:26,978
Fuck!

602
00:36:27,144 --> 00:36:28,646
I wanted to be a superhero.

603
00:36:29,105 --> 00:36:31,107
Always wanted
a real super suit.

604
00:36:31,190 --> 00:36:32,859
What happened?

605
00:36:33,025 --> 00:36:35,145
When was the last time you saw
a plus-sized superhero?

606
00:36:35,570 --> 00:36:36,696
Never.

607
00:36:37,154 --> 00:36:38,948
The industry discriminates.

608
00:36:39,657 --> 00:36:41,325
Fuck superheroes.

609
00:36:41,909 --> 00:36:42,910
Fuck everyone.

610
00:36:43,411 --> 00:36:46,122
The first thing I wanna do
when I get out of here...

611
00:36:46,289 --> 00:36:48,457
burn the headmaster alive...

612
00:36:48,624 --> 00:36:51,252
and then take a selfie
with his smoldering corpse.

613
00:36:51,752 --> 00:36:53,713
Who says
prison isn't reformative?

614
00:36:54,088 --> 00:36:55,715
Fucker hates mutants.

615
00:36:56,841 --> 00:36:58,217
Blessed are the wicked

616
00:36:58,301 --> 00:37:00,386
who are healed by my hand.

617
00:37:00,803 --> 00:37:02,221
Your abilities.

618
00:37:03,723 --> 00:37:05,641
I know
how seductive they are.

619
00:37:08,102 --> 00:37:09,353
Now, please don't cry.

620
00:37:16,527 --> 00:37:20,197
Tomorrow, we'll find
the biggest guy in here...

621
00:37:20,948 --> 00:37:21,991
and we'll make him our...

622
00:37:25,912 --> 00:37:27,121
What was that?

623
00:37:27,288 --> 00:37:29,206
That is the biggest guy
in here.

624
00:37:29,916 --> 00:37:31,876
Fun fact about the Ice Box...

625
00:37:32,043 --> 00:37:33,836
though no one's ever seen it,

626
00:37:33,920 --> 00:37:35,588
they keep a monster
in the basement.

627
00:37:36,172 --> 00:37:37,882
Right next to a huge,

628
00:37:37,965 --> 00:37:39,508
steaming bowl
of foreshadowing.

629
00:37:40,134 --> 00:37:41,135
Look.

630
00:37:42,136 --> 00:37:44,055
I can't protect you.

631
00:37:44,430 --> 00:37:45,556
With this collar on,

632
00:37:45,640 --> 00:37:48,643
my superpower
is just unbridled cancer.

633
00:37:48,809 --> 00:37:51,687
Give me a bow and arrow,
I'm basically Hawkeye.

634
00:37:52,313 --> 00:37:54,273
Now, if you'll excuse me...

635
00:37:54,440 --> 00:37:57,610
I've got tumors to grow.
Vanessa awaits.

636
00:37:57,777 --> 00:38:00,029
I'll start by making us
a shank.

637
00:38:00,196 --> 00:38:02,073
Good listening.
I stole that guard's pen...

638
00:38:02,156 --> 00:38:04,158
and stashed it
in the old prison wallet,

639
00:38:04,241 --> 00:38:05,660
if you know what I'm saying.

640
00:38:06,077 --> 00:38:08,537
Prison wallet?

641
00:38:08,788 --> 00:38:11,248
I really hope I don't know
what you're saying.

642
00:38:13,542 --> 00:38:16,128
I can hear you
rummaging around in there.

643
00:38:20,883 --> 00:38:22,301
And to update you

644
00:38:22,385 --> 00:38:23,636
on the story reported earlier,

645
00:38:23,803 --> 00:38:25,262
after a lengthy standoff

646
00:38:25,346 --> 00:38:27,932
outside the Essex House
for Mutant Rehabilitation...

647
00:38:28,099 --> 00:38:29,392
two mutants were arrested

648
00:38:29,475 --> 00:38:31,102
and transported
to the Ice Box...

649
00:38:31,268 --> 00:38:32,748
Entering repair mode.

650
00:38:37,108 --> 00:38:38,516
...several
police cars were destroyed

651
00:38:38,526 --> 00:38:40,528
and the X-Men were called in
to restore order.

652
00:39:01,716 --> 00:39:03,676
Cells seven and nine

653
00:39:03,759 --> 00:39:07,013
now off-limits
for medical personnel.

654
00:39:07,179 --> 00:39:08,639
Cells seven and nine

655
00:39:08,723 --> 00:39:11,267
now off-limits
for medical personnel.

656
00:39:13,144 --> 00:39:14,520
Psst!

657
00:39:16,772 --> 00:39:18,607
Don't do that.

658
00:39:19,275 --> 00:39:21,986
What? Why are you
winking at me?

659
00:39:25,990 --> 00:39:27,283
I got your back.

660
00:39:27,450 --> 00:39:28,534
Oh, my God.

661
00:39:28,701 --> 00:39:30,077
You're sick,
I gotta protect you.

662
00:39:30,244 --> 00:39:32,121
Just leave me alone, kid.

663
00:39:33,289 --> 00:39:34,373
Oh, great.

664
00:39:36,208 --> 00:39:38,586
Well, hello there,
new fish.

665
00:39:38,669 --> 00:39:41,714
It's nice to see some
fresh faces around here.

666
00:39:41,797 --> 00:39:44,091
I've done some
light catalog work...

667
00:39:44,175 --> 00:39:46,427
but, really, modeling is just
a stepping stone to acting.

668
00:39:46,594 --> 00:39:48,512
- I was talking to him.
- Oh.

669
00:39:49,555 --> 00:39:52,558
Have we met?
I can't place your mustache.

670
00:39:52,975 --> 00:39:55,519
- Black Tom Cassidy.
- White Wade Wilson.

671
00:39:55,686 --> 00:39:58,814
What's your superpower?
Cultural appropriation?

672
00:39:59,106 --> 00:40:01,442
You're supposed to be
the toughest cunt in here.

673
00:40:01,650 --> 00:40:03,486
You don't look like much
to me.

674
00:40:04,278 --> 00:40:06,489
First rule of the yard,
fuckface...

675
00:40:06,697 --> 00:40:08,365
find the biggest guy
and make him your...

676
00:40:12,828 --> 00:40:14,997
Second biggest guy.

677
00:40:15,122 --> 00:40:17,249
The last thing I need
is more hepatitis.

678
00:40:17,500 --> 00:40:20,795
Oh, it's slippery, too.
This table needs a wipe down!

679
00:40:20,961 --> 00:40:22,361
Can we get a wipe down
on the table?

680
00:40:24,131 --> 00:40:25,758
Kid, I think you picked
the wrong side.

681
00:40:26,425 --> 00:40:28,719
No, I didn't!
He's my friend!

682
00:40:28,928 --> 00:40:31,055
Zip it. We're not friends.

683
00:40:32,765 --> 00:40:34,045
You're about to get
dick-slapped.

684
00:40:46,403 --> 00:40:48,280
I had so much fun!
You were like...

685
00:40:48,364 --> 00:40:50,157
And I was like,
"Take a seat, shit dick."

686
00:40:50,241 --> 00:40:51,367
Just let me die in peace.

687
00:40:52,118 --> 00:40:53,869
We make a great team!

688
00:40:54,411 --> 00:40:56,831
Oh, God! We're not a team.

689
00:40:56,914 --> 00:41:01,001
Why'd you say that back there?
We're friends, partners.

690
00:41:01,168 --> 00:41:03,712
We're not partners
or friends.

691
00:41:05,131 --> 00:41:07,216
This doesn't end with us
riding into the sunset.

692
00:41:07,383 --> 00:41:09,426
It ends with me
dying of cancer...

693
00:41:09,593 --> 00:41:13,055
and you winning the Ice Box
award for softest mouth.

694
00:41:14,807 --> 00:41:16,433
There's only one person
in this world

695
00:41:16,517 --> 00:41:18,227
that I care about,
and she's gone.

696
00:41:20,020 --> 00:41:22,022
You wanna survive?

697
00:41:23,232 --> 00:41:26,277
Stop trying to shank
the biggest guys in here...

698
00:41:26,443 --> 00:41:28,445
and make friends with them.

699
00:41:29,780 --> 00:41:31,365
Make friends with someone.

700
00:41:32,324 --> 00:41:34,535
Anyone but me.

701
00:41:35,369 --> 00:41:37,705
Maybe even Black Tim.

702
00:41:38,622 --> 00:41:40,166
Black Evan, I don't know.

703
00:41:40,249 --> 00:41:42,751
All I remember is
he was African-American.

704
00:42:28,214 --> 00:42:30,257
System malfunctioning.

705
00:42:30,341 --> 00:42:33,469
Cells 7, 12, 14, 27.

706
00:42:33,636 --> 00:42:35,971
Back in your cells, you filthy mutants!
Get in there!

707
00:42:36,055 --> 00:42:39,266
Cells 1, 3, 7, 8.

708
00:42:40,559 --> 00:42:41,999
Searching.

709
00:42:43,395 --> 00:42:45,898
Cell 04 located.

710
00:42:47,233 --> 00:42:48,859
Door won't open!

711
00:42:49,360 --> 00:42:50,986
On your fucking knees!

712
00:43:27,940 --> 00:43:29,650
That was our cell.

713
00:43:31,777 --> 00:43:33,988
What did I do to piss off
a grumpy old fucker

714
00:43:34,071 --> 00:43:35,239
with a Winter Soldier arm?

715
00:43:44,665 --> 00:43:46,166
Get away from me, kid!

716
00:43:53,924 --> 00:43:55,259
Listen to me! Go!

717
00:44:00,556 --> 00:44:02,057
Hello, Russell.

718
00:45:25,599 --> 00:45:26,934
Hello, superpowers.

719
00:45:45,077 --> 00:45:46,078
Who are you?

720
00:45:46,912 --> 00:45:48,122
I'm Batman.

721
00:45:59,633 --> 00:46:00,634
Ooh!

722
00:46:05,431 --> 00:46:08,308
Oh. That's got some zip.

723
00:46:16,483 --> 00:46:19,653
Don't feel bad.
Even I can't kill me.

724
00:46:19,945 --> 00:46:20,988
Talk!

725
00:46:21,530 --> 00:46:23,282
What kind of
spineless shit stick

726
00:46:23,365 --> 00:46:24,908
tries to kill
a 14-year-old boy?

727
00:46:26,034 --> 00:46:27,202
You might
wanna start talking!

728
00:46:27,286 --> 00:46:29,872
'Cause I got a long history of
firing at times like this!

729
00:46:31,331 --> 00:46:32,833
The name's Cable.

730
00:46:33,375 --> 00:46:36,628
I'm from the future.
Just walk away.

731
00:46:36,712 --> 00:46:38,005
Oh!

732
00:46:38,088 --> 00:46:39,548
So, you're from the future.

733
00:46:40,090 --> 00:46:41,925
I have
three questions then.

734
00:46:42,092 --> 00:46:45,262
One, is dubstep still a thing?

735
00:46:45,721 --> 00:46:48,474
Two, which Sharknado
are we on?

736
00:46:48,765 --> 00:46:51,435
And three, at what point
do audiences say...

737
00:46:51,643 --> 00:46:52,936
"Enough with
the robotic arms"?

738
00:47:36,313 --> 00:47:38,232
Dubstep's for pussies.

739
00:47:38,315 --> 00:47:39,650
You're so dark!

740
00:47:39,733 --> 00:47:41,693
Are you sure you're not
from the DC universe?

741
00:47:42,569 --> 00:47:44,029
I love dubstep!

742
00:48:10,305 --> 00:48:11,640
Is that a fanny pack?

743
00:48:11,723 --> 00:48:14,601
I used to have one of those
in 1990-never.

744
00:48:15,352 --> 00:48:17,354
Something to remember you by.

745
00:48:17,521 --> 00:48:21,149
Give me that back!
That goes with me everywhere.

746
00:48:21,316 --> 00:48:23,777
Like the memory
of your fucking fanny pack!

747
00:48:33,620 --> 00:48:35,455
Why are you protecting
the kid?

748
00:48:36,790 --> 00:48:38,709
I don't give a fuck
about him...

749
00:48:39,209 --> 00:48:41,628
and his Are You My Mother?
complex!

750
00:48:44,047 --> 00:48:45,299
What's this one do?

751
00:48:59,313 --> 00:49:00,897
In every film,
there's a moment

752
00:49:00,981 --> 00:49:03,233
when the hero
hits rock bottom.

753
00:49:03,400 --> 00:49:05,319
In Cool Runnings,
it was when John Candy's

754
00:49:05,402 --> 00:49:06,903
prized bobsled broke.

755
00:49:07,487 --> 00:49:10,198
In Human Centipede,
it was when those people...

756
00:49:10,282 --> 00:49:11,867
signed on to be in that movie.

757
00:49:11,950 --> 00:49:13,452
But in this film, well...

758
00:49:14,161 --> 00:49:15,370
you're looking at it.

759
00:49:15,495 --> 00:49:17,247
On your fucking knees, mutant.

760
00:49:20,083 --> 00:49:21,084
Rock...

761
00:49:25,088 --> 00:49:26,590
meet bottom.

762
00:49:37,309 --> 00:49:38,536
I love you, Wade Wilson.

763
00:49:38,560 --> 00:49:39,811
Ness?

764
00:49:40,812 --> 00:49:42,272
Hey, Ness!

765
00:49:43,148 --> 00:49:44,775
Ness, can you let me in?

766
00:49:44,941 --> 00:49:47,110
Please! Please.

767
00:49:49,112 --> 00:49:50,113
Jesus.

768
00:49:53,200 --> 00:49:54,960
You're not giving me
a lot of direction here.

769
00:49:54,993 --> 00:49:56,787
I'm at the end of my rope.

770
00:49:59,289 --> 00:50:01,458
Then I joined the X-Men.

771
00:50:01,750 --> 00:50:03,669
I went to prison. I, uh...

772
00:50:07,464 --> 00:50:08,965
Is it the kid?

773
00:50:11,176 --> 00:50:14,096
Kids give us a chance to be
better than we used to be.

774
00:50:15,472 --> 00:50:16,515
The kid!

775
00:50:30,237 --> 00:50:31,780
That's exactly
what she meant.

776
00:50:31,863 --> 00:50:33,271
Your heart needs to be
in the right place.

777
00:50:33,281 --> 00:50:34,950
I'm not gonna
abandon this kid.

778
00:50:35,033 --> 00:50:37,619
He's never had anyone, ever.

779
00:50:37,786 --> 00:50:38,995
I need to be selfless.

780
00:50:39,162 --> 00:50:40,997
Yeah, but what does
that mean?

781
00:50:41,164 --> 00:50:44,459
It means
I'm gonna save Russell.

782
00:50:44,543 --> 00:50:45,961
Maybe I couldn't
save Vanessa...

783
00:50:46,128 --> 00:50:49,089
but maybe I can save a robust
teenager from New Zealand.

784
00:50:49,172 --> 00:50:51,164
Yeah, but what I mean is,
like, the world "selfless."

785
00:50:51,174 --> 00:50:52,694
I literally don't know
what that means.

786
00:50:52,718 --> 00:50:53,760
Jesus Christ.

787
00:50:53,844 --> 00:50:56,596
Okay, look.
According to my guy, okay...

788
00:50:56,847 --> 00:50:58,640
those muties
are being transferred

789
00:50:58,724 --> 00:51:00,475
to a supermax,
80 miles away.

790
00:51:00,559 --> 00:51:02,269
Great, I'll pick 'em off
along the way.

791
00:51:02,436 --> 00:51:04,563
Hold your testicles there,
buddy, okay?

792
00:51:04,646 --> 00:51:06,523
We're talking about
an armored convoy...

793
00:51:06,690 --> 00:51:08,692
and a vicious super soldier
from the future...

794
00:51:08,775 --> 00:51:11,611
that is looking to turn your
skull into a fuckable ashtray.

795
00:51:11,778 --> 00:51:13,155
You know what we need to do?

796
00:51:13,238 --> 00:51:14,990
We need to build
a fucking team.

797
00:51:15,157 --> 00:51:17,200
We need 'em tough,
morally flexible...

798
00:51:17,367 --> 00:51:18,687
and young enough
so they can carry

799
00:51:18,744 --> 00:51:19,995
this franchise
10 to 12 years.

800
00:51:20,078 --> 00:51:21,747
My body is an
instrument of death.

801
00:51:22,956 --> 00:51:24,416
Not now, Dopinder.

802
00:51:24,541 --> 00:51:26,501
I could be of great use.

803
00:51:26,668 --> 00:51:28,253
What's your superpower?

804
00:51:29,838 --> 00:51:31,388
- Courage.
- That's adorable.

805
00:51:31,548 --> 00:51:33,258
Do you have the courage
to check and see...

806
00:51:33,341 --> 00:51:35,552
if there are enough sanitary
napkins in the dispenser?

807
00:51:35,635 --> 00:51:36,636
Yes, sir.

808
00:51:36,720 --> 00:51:38,096
I'm sorry
you had to see that,

809
00:51:38,180 --> 00:51:40,182
although I'm glad
you heard it.

810
00:51:40,557 --> 00:51:42,350
All right, I'll put out
a call for resumes.

811
00:51:42,517 --> 00:51:44,644
But we're not paying
medical or dental.

812
00:51:44,728 --> 00:51:46,772
It's time to get back
on LinkedIn.

813
00:52:24,893 --> 00:52:28,188
Transport
will begin at 0800 hours...

814
00:52:28,313 --> 00:52:29,356
Oi.

815
00:52:29,439 --> 00:52:30,857
What the fuck
do you want?

816
00:52:30,941 --> 00:52:32,741
That's my fucking pudding.

817
00:52:32,901 --> 00:52:34,401
- Fuck your pudding!
- You like pudding?

818
00:52:56,091 --> 00:52:57,091
Hello?

819
00:52:59,302 --> 00:53:01,638
I know you're in there.

820
00:53:17,487 --> 00:53:19,614
Must be hard being the
biggest guy in here.

821
00:53:20,866 --> 00:53:23,034
Lonely at the top, eh?

822
00:53:23,201 --> 00:53:25,161
They're moving us tomorrow.

823
00:53:27,622 --> 00:53:29,583
Maybe I can get you
out of here.

824
00:53:30,625 --> 00:53:33,795
And we can make
the whole world our bitch.

825
00:53:35,839 --> 00:53:37,591
We need a secret code.

826
00:53:40,468 --> 00:53:43,096
No, that's stupid,
Russell. Idiot.

827
00:53:50,312 --> 00:53:51,813
We're a team.

828
00:53:51,897 --> 00:53:53,732
We're like thugs,
we're like gangsters.

829
00:53:53,899 --> 00:53:55,859
I'm like Tupac,
and you're like Ice Cube.

830
00:53:57,861 --> 00:53:59,988
Supposedly,
she can rap, too.

831
00:54:00,155 --> 00:54:01,156
I like that.

832
00:54:01,239 --> 00:54:02,532
Terrific,
these are all terrific.

833
00:54:02,616 --> 00:54:04,367
Meet Bedlam.

834
00:54:04,451 --> 00:54:06,620
Cool name! Superpowers?

835
00:54:06,703 --> 00:54:07,704
I can distort

836
00:54:07,787 --> 00:54:09,456
electrical fields.

837
00:54:09,539 --> 00:54:11,625
Including the one
inside your brain...

838
00:54:11,708 --> 00:54:14,169
causing anxiety,
confusion...

839
00:54:14,544 --> 00:54:15,670
pain.

840
00:54:16,713 --> 00:54:18,673
So, basically,
you're Dave Matthews.

841
00:54:18,757 --> 00:54:19,883
We can use him.

842
00:54:21,760 --> 00:54:23,136
I'm Zeitgeist.

843
00:54:23,219 --> 00:54:24,638
Cool. I like it.

844
00:54:24,721 --> 00:54:25,972
So you have the power

845
00:54:26,056 --> 00:54:28,350
to put your finger
on the pulse of society?

846
00:54:29,476 --> 00:54:30,518
No.

847
00:54:30,685 --> 00:54:32,228
No, I spit acidic vomit.

848
00:54:32,312 --> 00:54:33,688
- Oh.
- Do you want me

849
00:54:33,772 --> 00:54:34,874
- to demonstrate?
- No!

850
00:54:34,898 --> 00:54:36,125
We'll take
your word for it.

851
00:54:36,149 --> 00:54:38,389
Thank you. Yeah.
Listen, we've all eaten at Arby's, okay?

852
00:54:39,069 --> 00:54:41,112
And this is the Vanisher.

853
00:54:44,491 --> 00:54:45,492
But...

854
00:54:46,743 --> 00:54:48,161
Vanisher!

855
00:54:50,538 --> 00:54:52,207
- Nice!
- Right?

856
00:54:53,500 --> 00:54:54,709
He's not here, is he?

857
00:54:54,793 --> 00:54:56,336
He may be running late.

858
00:54:57,796 --> 00:55:00,256
My name's Rusty,
but I go by Shatterstar.

859
00:55:00,674 --> 00:55:01,883
That's good, yeah.

860
00:55:02,050 --> 00:55:04,000
- "Rusty" is terrible.
- Toughie.

861
00:55:04,135 --> 00:55:06,835
- So, uh, where are you from?
- The planet Mojo World.

862
00:55:07,013 --> 00:55:08,963
- So you're an alien, I guess.
- Bad name.

863
00:55:09,057 --> 00:55:10,600
How does that, uh, help us?

864
00:55:10,684 --> 00:55:13,478
I'm basically better
than you at everything.

865
00:55:13,770 --> 00:55:15,470
Just once, I'm gonna find
a planet of people

866
00:55:15,480 --> 00:55:17,023
that are worse than me
at everything.

867
00:55:17,107 --> 00:55:19,192
A whole bunch
of functional idiots.

868
00:55:19,359 --> 00:55:21,393
I'm gonna go there,
and I'm gonna be their Superman.

869
00:55:21,403 --> 00:55:22,404
Isn't that Canada?

870
00:55:22,487 --> 00:55:24,906
You shut your
goddamn trash mouth!

871
00:55:26,324 --> 00:55:27,701
- Meet...
- Domino.

872
00:55:27,867 --> 00:55:29,995
- What's your shtick?
- I'm lucky.

873
00:55:30,203 --> 00:55:32,070
If you're so lucky,
then what are you doing here with us?

874
00:55:32,080 --> 00:55:33,164
I don't know yet.

875
00:55:33,331 --> 00:55:34,489
What's that supposed to mean?

876
00:55:34,499 --> 00:55:35,917
It means
that I don't know yet.

877
00:55:36,084 --> 00:55:37,502
But there's a reason
why I'm here,

878
00:55:37,585 --> 00:55:38,670
and I'll know when I know.

879
00:55:38,753 --> 00:55:40,153
Everything usually
works out for me.

880
00:55:40,338 --> 00:55:42,007
Luck isn't a superpower.

881
00:55:42,173 --> 00:55:43,425
- Yes, it is.
- No, it isn't.

882
00:55:43,508 --> 00:55:44,676
- Yes, it is.
- No, ma'am.

883
00:55:44,759 --> 00:55:46,136
- Mmm-hmm.
- Mario No-pez.

884
00:55:46,261 --> 00:55:47,303
- Yeah.
- Nacho cheese.

885
00:55:47,387 --> 00:55:48,503
- No, it definitely is.
- I really...

886
00:55:48,513 --> 00:55:49,514
There's no way that it...

887
00:55:49,597 --> 00:55:50,765
Sorry, I was
interrupting you.

888
00:55:50,849 --> 00:55:52,632
- Sorry. No, I interrupted you.
- No, no, no. You can go first.

889
00:55:52,642 --> 00:55:54,269
Oh, I was just gonna say,
"No, it isn't."

890
00:55:54,352 --> 00:55:56,813
I was gonna just bring it back
to that yes, it is.

891
00:55:57,063 --> 00:55:58,638
Let's meet in the middle
and say, "No, it isn't."

892
00:55:58,648 --> 00:56:01,693
- But it is.
- Okay.

893
00:56:01,943 --> 00:56:03,361
- You're hired!
- You're hired.

894
00:56:03,528 --> 00:56:04,779
Oh, lucky me.

895
00:56:04,863 --> 00:56:05,864
She's great.

896
00:56:07,365 --> 00:56:08,575
And last, but not least...

897
00:56:08,742 --> 00:56:09,868
Peter.

898
00:56:11,161 --> 00:56:13,121
Am I getting
catfished here or...?

899
00:56:13,747 --> 00:56:15,540
Any powers you wanna
tell us about?

900
00:56:15,623 --> 00:56:16,875
No.

901
00:56:17,333 --> 00:56:18,918
I don't have one.

902
00:56:19,085 --> 00:56:22,172
Um, I just saw the ad
and thought it looked fun.

903
00:56:23,298 --> 00:56:24,340
You're in.

904
00:56:24,424 --> 00:56:25,967
- Yeah.
- Fuck!

905
00:56:28,553 --> 00:56:30,221
It's fulfilling work.

906
00:56:34,768 --> 00:56:36,061
Let's go!

907
00:56:49,574 --> 00:56:52,285
This is Convoy 17
departing the Ice Box.

908
00:56:52,368 --> 00:56:53,745
We are en route.

909
00:57:01,294 --> 00:57:03,671
Peacetime makes people soft.

910
00:57:05,256 --> 00:57:07,050
I was born into war.

911
00:57:08,593 --> 00:57:09,761
Bred into it.

912
00:57:10,678 --> 00:57:11,679
Okay.

913
00:57:11,763 --> 00:57:13,431
People think
they understand pain.

914
00:57:14,682 --> 00:57:16,893
What's the most pain
you've ever felt?

915
00:57:19,104 --> 00:57:20,178
These restraints
are pretty...

916
00:57:20,188 --> 00:57:21,314
I've got a list.

917
00:57:22,607 --> 00:57:24,567
We're gonna work down it.

918
00:57:25,360 --> 00:57:26,361
Together.

919
00:57:27,445 --> 00:57:29,572
Number one,
I'm gonna bend something.

920
00:57:30,532 --> 00:57:32,742
Something that was not
meant to bend.

921
00:57:32,909 --> 00:57:34,025
I'm gonna stop you
right there

922
00:57:34,035 --> 00:57:35,276
because I'm not gonna
make it to two.

923
00:57:35,286 --> 00:57:36,538
I won't even make it
to one.

924
00:57:36,663 --> 00:57:38,206
I don't do well with pain,
you know.

925
00:57:38,289 --> 00:57:40,708
If I stub my toe,
I'm done for the day.

926
00:57:40,959 --> 00:57:42,877
I cried when
they canceled Felicity.

927
00:57:43,878 --> 00:57:45,662
When I get really scared,
I get nervous erections.

928
00:57:45,672 --> 00:57:46,714
I have one right now.

929
00:57:46,798 --> 00:57:48,258
Don't look.
It'll only make it worse.

930
00:57:48,341 --> 00:57:49,415
I don't want you to hurt me,

931
00:57:49,425 --> 00:57:51,678
and I'll tell you
anything you wanna know.

932
00:57:52,637 --> 00:57:54,305
Except for where they are.

933
00:57:54,848 --> 00:57:56,408
Russell's in a convoy
heading southbound

934
00:57:56,432 --> 00:57:57,433
on Gerry Duggan Parkway.

935
00:57:57,517 --> 00:57:59,342
The monster's with them.
I wouldn't fuck with him.

936
00:57:59,352 --> 00:58:00,454
You all know the plan.

937
00:58:00,478 --> 00:58:02,188
Intercept the convoy,

938
00:58:02,272 --> 00:58:04,315
grab the boy.
But not inappropriately!

939
00:58:04,399 --> 00:58:05,400
You know what,

940
00:58:05,483 --> 00:58:06,641
I wouldn't fuck with
Deadpool either.

941
00:58:06,651 --> 00:58:09,362
Because he's built a team.
He's unstoppable.

942
00:58:09,529 --> 00:58:11,948
He has an ass pen.
He'll stab you with it.

943
00:58:12,031 --> 00:58:14,534
Watch out for this guy, Cable!

944
00:58:14,701 --> 00:58:17,829
He's very short, 5'11".
Not like in the comics.

945
00:58:17,912 --> 00:58:20,874
And if we succeed,
we all go home early.

946
00:58:21,124 --> 00:58:23,204
So if you go after
them, Cable, I warn you...

947
00:58:23,835 --> 00:58:25,503
there's a wind advisory
in effect.

948
00:58:36,848 --> 00:58:38,488
A little turbulent up here.

949
00:58:45,899 --> 00:58:47,650
I don't know much
about this Cable fella...

950
00:58:47,734 --> 00:58:48,985
but I guarantee
he hasn't killed

951
00:58:49,068 --> 00:58:50,820
as many people
as melanoma has.

952
00:58:52,280 --> 00:58:53,364
We're getting close!

953
00:58:53,740 --> 00:58:55,283
As a former X-Man...

954
00:58:55,450 --> 00:58:57,350
- Trainee.
- Thank you, Bedlam.

955
00:58:57,493 --> 00:59:00,288
I was always appalled
by the blatant sexism

956
00:59:00,371 --> 00:59:01,372
in the group's name.

957
00:59:01,456 --> 00:59:02,999
X-Men! Men!

958
00:59:03,541 --> 00:59:06,419
The point is, our group
will be forward thinking.

959
00:59:06,586 --> 00:59:07,962
Gender neutral.

960
00:59:08,046 --> 00:59:10,215
From now on,
we'll be known as...

961
00:59:12,508 --> 00:59:13,843
X-Force.

962
00:59:14,052 --> 00:59:15,553
Isn't that
a little derivative?

963
00:59:15,720 --> 00:59:18,139
I don't recall asking
your opinion, Peter!

964
00:59:19,349 --> 00:59:20,808
That wasn't me.

965
00:59:27,857 --> 00:59:30,151
Hang the laundry out
at 1,300 feet...

966
00:59:30,235 --> 00:59:32,028
intercept the convoy,
and grab the boy.

967
00:59:32,111 --> 00:59:33,228
Let's bring on
the carnage, baby!

968
00:59:33,238 --> 00:59:35,073
Get me on the ground,
watch me go!

969
00:59:35,156 --> 00:59:36,157
Yeah!

970
00:59:36,241 --> 00:59:37,951
I can't wait to kill!

971
00:59:38,076 --> 00:59:39,744
Hey! Hey! Hey!

972
00:59:40,870 --> 00:59:42,664
I just wanna say
how proud I am of this team.

973
00:59:43,581 --> 00:59:46,334
You know,
you guys look amazing!

974
00:59:46,501 --> 00:59:49,254
Vanisher, I have no doubt
you look amazing too.

975
00:59:49,420 --> 00:59:50,463
This is the family

976
00:59:50,546 --> 00:59:52,226
that I've always dreamed
of having and I...

977
00:59:52,924 --> 00:59:53,967
Ah, shit.

978
00:59:55,718 --> 00:59:57,345
I just get a little
choked up sometimes.

979
00:59:57,428 --> 00:59:59,597
I hate to interrupt,
but is anybody nervous

980
00:59:59,681 --> 01:00:00,682
about the high winds?

981
01:00:00,765 --> 01:00:02,015
- Gary.
- My name's Peter.

982
01:00:02,100 --> 01:00:03,977
I realize that you're new
to this, but relax.

983
01:00:04,060 --> 01:00:05,500
You've been chosen
by a higher power.

984
01:00:05,770 --> 01:00:08,070
- Did he just call himself God?
- I think he did.

985
01:00:08,147 --> 01:00:09,747
- I'd like to go home.
- And I'd like...

986
01:00:09,816 --> 01:00:12,193
the McRib to be available
year round,

987
01:00:12,277 --> 01:00:14,077
but sometimes
dreams don't come true.

988
01:00:14,237 --> 01:00:16,322
I spent 10 years
in Special Forces.

989
01:00:16,330 --> 01:00:17,860
You think we didn't
jump out of the plane

990
01:00:17,865 --> 01:00:19,265
because of a light breeze?

991
01:00:19,617 --> 01:00:21,786
You're in this shit now,
Mustache!

992
01:00:21,869 --> 01:00:23,597
I'm only yelling
to impress the other guys.

993
01:00:23,621 --> 01:00:25,832
I'd never let anything
happen to you, Sugarbear.

994
01:00:26,207 --> 01:00:28,167
Leonard, hit it!

995
01:00:37,135 --> 01:00:39,178
Go! Go! Go!

996
01:01:14,922 --> 01:01:16,215
Let's get some!

997
01:01:16,341 --> 01:01:17,508
Whoo!

998
01:01:17,592 --> 01:01:18,718
Oh, yeah!

999
01:01:18,801 --> 01:01:21,637
Convoy, 12 o'clock!
On my command!

1000
01:01:22,680 --> 01:01:24,140
Deploy! Oh, hey now!

1001
01:01:24,223 --> 01:01:25,558
Whoa!

1002
01:01:30,730 --> 01:01:32,607
Little off course here.

1003
01:01:34,901 --> 01:01:37,278
Holy mommy fucking shit!

1004
01:01:38,404 --> 01:01:39,822
Ah, there they are.

1005
01:01:39,906 --> 01:01:42,992
Look at these gorgeous
sons of bitches.

1006
01:01:43,534 --> 01:01:45,453
Oh, yeah!
That's right, Bedlam!

1007
01:01:50,625 --> 01:01:54,337
No! Tripping
motherfucking billies!

1008
01:01:54,879 --> 01:01:58,007
Shatterstar.
Okay, you got this.

1009
01:01:58,800 --> 01:01:59,801
Left!

1010
01:01:59,884 --> 01:02:01,094
Left!

1011
01:02:01,177 --> 01:02:03,388
No, stage left, you idiot!

1012
01:02:07,266 --> 01:02:08,935
Well, I guess
we found something

1013
01:02:09,018 --> 01:02:10,103
you're not better at.

1014
01:02:12,188 --> 01:02:13,272
Vanisher.

1015
01:02:13,564 --> 01:02:15,316
Maybe the wind can't blow
what it can't see.

1016
01:02:18,403 --> 01:02:19,404
Oh! Really?

1017
01:02:19,946 --> 01:02:21,739
All right,
we could do this with four.

1018
01:02:22,323 --> 01:02:25,159
Sugarbear.
You got this, buddy!

1019
01:02:25,326 --> 01:02:27,453
That's the stuff!
That's the X-Force spirit!

1020
01:02:28,746 --> 01:02:30,790
Never underestimate
a man with a mustache!

1021
01:02:30,873 --> 01:02:32,333
Just ask anyone in Brooklyn.

1022
01:02:32,417 --> 01:02:33,501
We did it!

1023
01:02:33,584 --> 01:02:35,169
You're a goddamn
superhero, you!

1024
01:02:35,253 --> 01:02:36,379
X-Force!

1025
01:02:37,046 --> 01:02:38,172
X-Force.

1026
01:02:42,510 --> 01:02:44,345
Oh!

1027
01:02:47,974 --> 01:02:48,975
Peter.

1028
01:02:49,058 --> 01:02:50,059
I got you, buddy!

1029
01:02:50,143 --> 01:02:51,342
- You're gonna be fine!
- This is not good, man!

1030
01:02:51,352 --> 01:02:53,938
You got this, big guy!
Here we go, Peter!

1031
01:02:54,021 --> 01:02:55,440
Look at me.
We're X-Force, right?

1032
01:02:55,523 --> 01:02:57,733
- Yeah, we're X-Force.
- We're X-Force.

1033
01:03:01,696 --> 01:03:03,656
Oh, my God! What the fuck?

1034
01:03:03,781 --> 01:03:05,741
Fucking acidic vomit!

1035
01:03:07,326 --> 01:03:09,996
Oh, God! I'm gonna throw up
in my mask.

1036
01:03:13,249 --> 01:03:15,543
Okay, I'm over the convoy.

1037
01:03:15,626 --> 01:03:17,462
Where did the rest
of the team land?

1038
01:03:18,212 --> 01:03:19,755
Good news and bad news.

1039
01:03:19,881 --> 01:03:22,967
Bad news is
the whole team is dead.

1040
01:03:23,176 --> 01:03:24,177
The good news is,

1041
01:03:24,260 --> 01:03:26,220
I don't think anyone's
gonna miss Shatterstar.

1042
01:03:26,304 --> 01:03:29,390
He was a bit of a prick.
Oh, but Paul!

1043
01:03:29,474 --> 01:03:30,475
Peter!

1044
01:03:30,558 --> 01:03:32,143
Peter, I'm gonna
miss him most.

1045
01:03:32,226 --> 01:03:33,346
But there is a slight chance

1046
01:03:33,394 --> 01:03:34,729
Vanisher could make it.

1047
01:03:35,104 --> 01:03:37,482
Nope, no chance.
He's dead.

1048
01:03:37,565 --> 01:03:38,733
The whole team?

1049
01:03:38,858 --> 01:03:40,735
Only the main ones.
We're still good.

1050
01:03:40,818 --> 01:03:41,944
Fuck, you are dumb.

1051
01:03:42,028 --> 01:03:44,530
Even after all this time,
I still can't talk about it.

1052
01:03:44,697 --> 01:03:46,657
Who knew these winds
would be so strong?

1053
01:03:46,741 --> 01:03:49,243
Everyone!
Everyone on the helicopter!

1054
01:03:49,327 --> 01:03:50,828
And everyone
not on the helicopter!

1055
01:04:00,213 --> 01:04:02,089
They're headed
into the tunnel.

1056
01:04:03,132 --> 01:04:04,550
I'm that kid's only hope,

1057
01:04:04,634 --> 01:04:06,427
so sit tight
and wait for my word.

1058
01:04:07,220 --> 01:04:08,221
Whatever.

1059
01:04:08,304 --> 01:04:09,545
We're gonna lose 'em.
I'm dropping in.

1060
01:04:09,555 --> 01:04:12,183
Uh, that's
a negative, sole survivor.

1061
01:04:12,558 --> 01:04:15,144
Luck is not a superpower!
We are so fucked!

1062
01:04:15,228 --> 01:04:18,189
No, we most certainly
are not fucked.

1063
01:04:21,317 --> 01:04:23,861
Seriously,
I don't get it!

1064
01:04:23,945 --> 01:04:26,405
What, you shoot luck lasers
out of your eyes?

1065
01:04:28,658 --> 01:04:30,368
It's just
it's hard to picture.

1066
01:04:30,451 --> 01:04:32,578
And certainly
not very cinematic.

1067
01:04:35,331 --> 01:04:36,832
I mean, luck?

1068
01:04:36,999 --> 01:04:39,502
What coked out,
glass pipe-sucking

1069
01:04:39,585 --> 01:04:40,920
freakshow comic book artist...

1070
01:04:41,003 --> 01:04:42,588
came up with
that little chestnut?

1071
01:04:42,672 --> 01:04:44,924
Probably a guy
who can't draw feet!

1072
01:04:56,143 --> 01:04:59,188
Once again, it all falls
on my shoulders.

1073
01:04:59,397 --> 01:05:00,837
It's why I'm cursed to be
a solo act.

1074
01:05:00,856 --> 01:05:01,906
- Wander the Earth...
- I'm in.

1075
01:05:01,941 --> 01:05:03,291
I'm sorry,
what did you say?

1076
01:05:03,300 --> 01:05:04,400
I'm in.

1077
01:05:04,402 --> 01:05:06,279
How in the fuck
are you in already?

1078
01:05:06,737 --> 01:05:07,989
Oh, shit.

1079
01:05:08,573 --> 01:05:09,740
It's Cable. 12 o'clock.

1080
01:05:09,907 --> 01:05:10,908
Okay.

1081
01:05:11,033 --> 01:05:13,786
New plan. Use all of your
imaginary powers

1082
01:05:13,869 --> 01:05:16,247
to stop Cable
from killing that kid.

1083
01:05:16,330 --> 01:05:17,915
I'm coming up on your six.

1084
01:05:26,173 --> 01:05:28,175
That gun is amazing!

1085
01:05:37,018 --> 01:05:39,228
Hey! Asshole!

1086
01:05:39,478 --> 01:05:41,022
Where is he?
I can't see him.

1087
01:05:41,147 --> 01:05:42,565
He's on top of you.

1088
01:05:44,859 --> 01:05:46,235
He's going in
through the back!

1089
01:05:46,736 --> 01:05:47,903
Oh, God, he's inside!

1090
01:05:47,987 --> 01:05:49,155
You hear yourself, right?

1091
01:05:49,238 --> 01:05:50,740
Accidental double entendres!

1092
01:05:50,865 --> 01:05:53,117
Russell! Russell Collins!

1093
01:05:53,284 --> 01:05:55,202
Hands off that kid,
John Connor!

1094
01:06:00,291 --> 01:06:01,292
No, no, no!

1095
01:06:05,630 --> 01:06:06,756
Shit!

1096
01:06:28,569 --> 01:06:30,488
Two can play that game!

1097
01:06:32,615 --> 01:06:34,450
Got it! No, I don't.

1098
01:06:35,576 --> 01:06:36,577
Showtime, mama!

1099
01:06:36,661 --> 01:06:38,245
Lady Luck, take the wheel.

1100
01:07:15,866 --> 01:07:17,906
I'd ask who you are, but
you'll be dead in a second.

1101
01:07:17,952 --> 01:07:19,954
I'm Domino, and doubtful.

1102
01:07:36,595 --> 01:07:37,596
Hang in there, Doms!

1103
01:07:38,764 --> 01:07:40,474
Oh, this is really hard.

1104
01:07:52,862 --> 01:07:54,262
And give me back
my Skee-Ball token.

1105
01:07:57,825 --> 01:07:59,375
- You're doing great.
- X-Force.

1106
01:08:01,328 --> 01:08:03,247
I guess dubstep never dies.

1107
01:08:07,668 --> 01:08:08,669
Whoo!

1108
01:08:15,551 --> 01:08:18,304
You killed Black Tom,
you racist son of a bitch!

1109
01:08:21,098 --> 01:08:22,224
That's unfortunate.

1110
01:08:25,394 --> 01:08:26,645
We got no brakes!

1111
01:08:26,812 --> 01:08:28,022
Figure it out!

1112
01:08:32,443 --> 01:08:33,986
There's nothing I can't kill.

1113
01:08:36,238 --> 01:08:37,531
Ooh.

1114
01:08:37,615 --> 01:08:40,910
Somebody knows karate.

1115
01:08:43,412 --> 01:08:44,997
Give me your best shot,
One-Eyed Willy.

1116
01:09:00,304 --> 01:09:01,305
Ow.

1117
01:09:02,306 --> 01:09:03,307
Here we go.

1118
01:09:04,391 --> 01:09:06,477
Domino, mind slowing us down?

1119
01:09:06,560 --> 01:09:08,604
Here goes nothing.

1120
01:09:39,760 --> 01:09:41,720
Knock, knock.

1121
01:09:48,227 --> 01:09:49,270
That's my boy.

1122
01:09:55,651 --> 01:09:56,819
Holy...

1123
01:10:01,740 --> 01:10:03,492
(ONLY TIME PLAYING)

1124
01:10:07,329 --> 01:10:08,831
I'll be first to admit...

1125
01:10:08,998 --> 01:10:11,250
this did not go
according to plan.

1126
01:10:12,710 --> 01:10:14,110
I'll also be the first
to admit that

1127
01:10:14,128 --> 01:10:16,088
that plan was
written in crayon.

1128
01:10:16,171 --> 01:10:19,174
Looks like Russell found
a new friend. Jelly.

1129
01:10:19,425 --> 01:10:21,093
Turns out Domino's
a bit of a badass,

1130
01:10:21,176 --> 01:10:24,179
and maybe,
possibly mildly lucky.

1131
01:10:24,305 --> 01:10:27,433
But Cable? Ugh.
That guy's in a mood.

1132
01:10:27,600 --> 01:10:28,601
A mood that is

1133
01:10:28,684 --> 01:10:30,477
about to get
significantly worse.

1134
01:10:54,251 --> 01:10:56,420
Something is so terribly,
terribly wrong.

1135
01:10:59,632 --> 01:11:01,091
Oh.

1136
01:11:02,885 --> 01:11:04,386
Oh, God, that hurt.

1137
01:11:09,725 --> 01:11:10,809
Russell.

1138
01:11:13,520 --> 01:11:14,605
Russell!

1139
01:11:15,230 --> 01:11:17,316
Russ, where are ya?

1140
01:11:20,945 --> 01:11:23,030
Russell. Russell, you're okay!

1141
01:11:23,197 --> 01:11:26,367
Oh, thank God.
Oh, my God!

1142
01:11:26,659 --> 01:11:27,868
Juggernaut!

1143
01:11:29,119 --> 01:11:31,038
I thought that was you!

1144
01:11:31,121 --> 01:11:33,332
I should've worn
my white pants.

1145
01:11:34,041 --> 01:11:37,044
You probably get this a lot,
but I am a huge fan.

1146
01:11:37,920 --> 01:11:41,131
Uncanny X-Men 183. Thor 411.

1147
01:11:41,215 --> 01:11:42,591
X-Men Unlimited 12.

1148
01:11:42,675 --> 01:11:44,677
You know, it has always been
a dream of mine...

1149
01:11:44,843 --> 01:11:46,595
to see my face
reflected in your helmet...

1150
01:11:46,762 --> 01:11:48,722
as you charge at me
with murderous intent.

1151
01:11:48,931 --> 01:11:50,391
I don't mean right now.

1152
01:11:50,724 --> 01:11:52,685
I'm gonna rip you
in half now.

1153
01:11:52,810 --> 01:11:55,479
That is such
a Juggernaut thing to say.

1154
01:11:59,108 --> 01:12:03,028
Oh, my God!
I can't feel my legs.

1155
01:12:03,195 --> 01:12:04,363
I can't feel...

1156
01:12:05,489 --> 01:12:06,991
Oh, no, they're right here.

1157
01:12:07,574 --> 01:12:09,326
Got 'em.
God, Russell.

1158
01:12:09,410 --> 01:12:11,245
I have a mission.

1159
01:12:11,870 --> 01:12:12,997
To get my revenge.

1160
01:12:13,539 --> 01:12:15,708
I'm going to burn
that headmaster alive.

1161
01:12:15,874 --> 01:12:17,960
You're not
the revenge type.

1162
01:12:18,043 --> 01:12:19,169
Take it from a friend.

1163
01:12:19,712 --> 01:12:23,424
Friend? You were sick,
and I protected you.

1164
01:12:23,590 --> 01:12:25,634
You said it yourself.

1165
01:12:25,801 --> 01:12:28,387
"I'm not your friend.
Find someone stronger."

1166
01:12:28,470 --> 01:12:29,680
So I did.

1167
01:12:31,432 --> 01:12:33,475
Russell, I couldn't
protect you back then.

1168
01:12:33,642 --> 01:12:37,104
But I can now. What do you
want me to say, huh?

1169
01:12:37,688 --> 01:12:39,523
"I care about you"?
'Cause goddamn it,

1170
01:12:39,606 --> 01:12:41,442
I care about you, Russell.

1171
01:12:42,067 --> 01:12:44,069
What's Juggernaut got
that I don't have?

1172
01:12:44,236 --> 01:12:47,406
Don't you say legs!
I know you're gonna say legs!

1173
01:12:47,948 --> 01:12:50,748
- Legs!
- Still hurts to hear out loud!

1174
01:12:52,911 --> 01:12:55,748
What is that?
That's not a real rope!

1175
01:12:55,914 --> 01:12:58,167
You get back here, young man!

1176
01:12:59,209 --> 01:13:00,335
Doms!

1177
01:13:00,711 --> 01:13:02,796
Doms, get me
out of here, please.

1178
01:13:02,880 --> 01:13:05,799
Use my arms
as backpack straps.

1179
01:13:08,093 --> 01:13:09,178
I think we may have found

1180
01:13:09,261 --> 01:13:11,055
your cosmic reason
for being here.

1181
01:13:11,472 --> 01:13:13,182
I'm pretty sure
this isn't it.

1182
01:13:13,265 --> 01:13:14,516
X-Force.

1183
01:13:28,030 --> 01:13:29,782
No child is hopeless.

1184
01:13:29,948 --> 01:13:31,033
Don't give up on the boy.

1185
01:13:31,116 --> 01:13:32,701
How could he just walk away?

1186
01:13:33,452 --> 01:13:35,704
It was the coldness
in his eyes.

1187
01:13:36,205 --> 01:13:37,790
You should've heard it.

1188
01:13:39,708 --> 01:13:41,960
I guess family
really is an F-word.

1189
01:13:42,878 --> 01:13:45,214
Rub my legs, Mama.

1190
01:13:45,339 --> 01:13:46,632
Why would I rub
your legs?

1191
01:13:46,715 --> 01:13:49,301
Please, they hurt.
I have growing pains.

1192
01:13:52,846 --> 01:13:54,056
What in the...

1193
01:13:54,556 --> 01:13:56,809
Why is your hand
so tiny again?

1194
01:13:57,309 --> 01:13:58,685
That's not my hand.

1195
01:13:59,103 --> 01:14:00,938
Oh! Mary,
mother of Joseph!

1196
01:14:01,605 --> 01:14:03,398
That was nice for me.

1197
01:14:03,565 --> 01:14:06,318
Wade! I heard what happened
with the convoy and...

1198
01:14:10,823 --> 01:14:12,533
Why wouldn't you
cover that up?

1199
01:14:13,158 --> 01:14:15,244
A warrior has nothing
to be ashamed of.

1200
01:14:15,410 --> 01:14:17,329
Yeah, but you do.
Look at you.

1201
01:14:17,412 --> 01:14:19,414
You're just
straight shirt-cocking it,

1202
01:14:19,498 --> 01:14:20,833
toddler-style.

1203
01:14:20,999 --> 01:14:22,793
Oh, yeah.
Full Winnie the Pooh.

1204
01:14:22,960 --> 01:14:24,837
The hell's happening?
Describe it.

1205
01:14:25,003 --> 01:14:26,370
I wouldn't ask him to do that,
if I were you.

1206
01:14:26,380 --> 01:14:27,780
- It's like, um...
- Here we go.

1207
01:14:27,840 --> 01:14:29,123
It's like he was
giving birth anally,

1208
01:14:29,133 --> 01:14:30,759
but they quit
halfway through.

1209
01:14:30,843 --> 01:14:32,084
They got the legs out,
and they said,

1210
01:14:32,094 --> 01:14:33,220
"You know what, I'm done."

1211
01:14:33,303 --> 01:14:34,304
Happy?

1212
01:14:34,388 --> 01:14:35,504
It's like he's a Muppet
from the waist down.

1213
01:14:35,514 --> 01:14:36,890
But this time, you can see

1214
01:14:36,974 --> 01:14:38,392
the Muppet's dick.

1215
01:14:38,475 --> 01:14:39,591
Grover's got a cock
the size of a twig.

1216
01:14:39,601 --> 01:14:41,051
Mr. Weasel, I can
no longer be double-parked.

1217
01:14:41,061 --> 01:14:42,688
I've had three tickets
already.

1218
01:14:44,356 --> 01:14:46,817
No, no, no, DP,
not again!

1219
01:14:46,900 --> 01:14:48,819
This has happened before?

1220
01:14:49,820 --> 01:14:51,297
Jesus!
Either vomit or don't.

1221
01:14:51,321 --> 01:14:52,531
The indecision
is killing me.

1222
01:14:52,698 --> 01:14:54,575
Why couldn't God
take my hearing?

1223
01:14:56,160 --> 01:14:58,245
Oh. Wow!

1224
01:14:58,328 --> 01:14:59,872
Cool your pits.
They're growing back.

1225
01:15:00,122 --> 01:15:01,665
I'm talking about your face.

1226
01:15:02,124 --> 01:15:03,917
I've never seen you
without your mask before.

1227
01:15:04,042 --> 01:15:06,128
Jesus Christ!
Looks like an avocado.

1228
01:15:06,211 --> 01:15:07,921
Your legs, though,
they're cute.

1229
01:15:08,255 --> 01:15:10,048
You wanna borrow
a pair of pants?

1230
01:15:11,633 --> 01:15:13,093
I'm glad
everybody dropped by.

1231
01:15:13,260 --> 01:15:15,554
You must be wondering
why I didn't call you here.

1232
01:15:16,013 --> 01:15:17,639
I'll tell you
why I'm here.

1233
01:15:17,806 --> 01:15:19,933
"The Time Traveler's Wife's"
husband...

1234
01:15:20,017 --> 01:15:21,337
beat me within
an inch of my life.

1235
01:15:21,351 --> 01:15:22,561
He was torturing me!

1236
01:15:22,644 --> 01:15:25,480
But all I told him was
everything he wanted to know.

1237
01:15:25,772 --> 01:15:27,816
So, I'm here
to help us gear up.

1238
01:15:28,275 --> 01:15:29,516
So we can go after him
without me.

1239
01:15:29,526 --> 01:15:30,527
No!

1240
01:15:31,069 --> 01:15:32,279
I'm doing this alone.

1241
01:15:32,362 --> 01:15:33,363
The Juggernaut

1242
01:15:33,447 --> 01:15:34,847
- will kill you all.
- Fair enough.

1243
01:15:34,907 --> 01:15:36,440
I just need a couple of
hours to get some legs

1244
01:15:36,450 --> 01:15:37,950
- under me.
- What will you do?

1245
01:15:38,035 --> 01:15:39,435
I don't care
what the kid did to me.

1246
01:15:39,453 --> 01:15:40,746
I ain't letting Cable
get to him,

1247
01:15:40,829 --> 01:15:42,196
even if I have to
teabag him to death.

1248
01:15:42,206 --> 01:15:44,208
It's really just a sip
of tea at this point.

1249
01:15:44,291 --> 01:15:46,043
Zip it, black Black Widow!
I'm flowing.

1250
01:15:46,126 --> 01:15:47,201
The first order
of business is

1251
01:15:47,211 --> 01:15:48,285
to get me
in front of Cable...

1252
01:15:48,295 --> 01:15:50,162
so I can pull all the fucking
blood out of his body...

1253
01:15:50,172 --> 01:15:52,341
and fashion his bones
into holiday jewelry.

1254
01:15:52,591 --> 01:15:54,259
Then,
I'm gonna take his skin...

1255
01:15:54,343 --> 01:15:57,429
and stretch it out
over a homemade mating drum.

1256
01:15:59,097 --> 01:16:00,697
He's standing
right behind you, isn't he?

1257
01:16:09,358 --> 01:16:11,026
What in the ass?

1258
01:16:11,235 --> 01:16:14,321
Is this apartment listed
on Tinder? Grindr?

1259
01:16:14,696 --> 01:16:16,949
You picked the wrong shithole
to fuck, future boy.

1260
01:16:17,449 --> 01:16:20,285
Ugh. Is that really necessary?

1261
01:16:22,579 --> 01:16:25,332
No. It's his "Basic Instinct".

1262
01:16:25,415 --> 01:16:26,458
What can we help you with?

1263
01:16:27,251 --> 01:16:28,877
I'm here to proposition you.

1264
01:16:29,753 --> 01:16:31,380
Oh, boy!

1265
01:16:31,463 --> 01:16:32,579
He's really teeing it up,
isn't he?

1266
01:16:32,589 --> 01:16:34,675
Who gets to make
the first joke?

1267
01:16:34,800 --> 01:16:36,083
I think we should all
do it at the same time.

1268
01:16:36,093 --> 01:16:37,094
Good call.

1269
01:16:37,177 --> 01:16:38,762
For $45,
you get sucky-suck.

1270
01:16:38,845 --> 01:16:40,212
I only do over
the pants, mouth stuff.

1271
01:16:40,222 --> 01:16:41,223
Fuck!

1272
01:16:41,306 --> 01:16:42,422
The Proposition
has a wonderful

1273
01:16:42,432 --> 01:16:43,433
Guy Pearce performance.

1274
01:16:43,517 --> 01:16:45,277
Wait, wait, wait!
I wanna do mine over.

1275
01:16:45,602 --> 01:16:47,652
- Give us the line again.
- I need your help!

1276
01:16:48,230 --> 01:16:50,440
Trust me, I'm even less happy
about this than you are...

1277
01:16:50,524 --> 01:16:53,151
but you unleashed the Juggernaut,
you dumb cunt!

1278
01:16:53,777 --> 01:16:55,988
I can't
bring him down alone.

1279
01:16:56,071 --> 01:16:57,656
So here we are.

1280
01:16:59,074 --> 01:17:00,826
We're no longer
accepting applications

1281
01:17:00,909 --> 01:17:02,202
for X-Force, unfortunately.

1282
01:17:02,369 --> 01:17:03,704
Even if we were...

1283
01:17:03,870 --> 01:17:05,570
there's a wind advisory
in effect until at least...

1284
01:17:05,580 --> 01:17:06,748
We don't have
a lot of time.

1285
01:17:06,832 --> 01:17:08,542
Your friend's about
to make his first kill.

1286
01:17:08,625 --> 01:17:10,168
No offense,
but if you know so much...

1287
01:17:10,252 --> 01:17:12,587
why not travel back to when
he was a baby, kill him then?

1288
01:17:13,171 --> 01:17:14,246
Or better yet, head back
a little further,

1289
01:17:14,256 --> 01:17:15,257
kill baby Hitler.

1290
01:17:15,340 --> 01:17:17,217
I use a device
to slide through time.

1291
01:17:17,384 --> 01:17:19,928
The longer I travel,
the harder it is to control.

1292
01:17:20,095 --> 01:17:22,556
I got two charges,
one to get me here,

1293
01:17:22,639 --> 01:17:23,765
one to get me home.

1294
01:17:23,849 --> 01:17:25,100
Well.

1295
01:17:25,183 --> 01:17:26,977
That's just lazy writing.

1296
01:17:27,060 --> 01:17:28,427
Your boy's
gonna kill the headmaster

1297
01:17:28,437 --> 01:17:29,896
of the orphanage tonight.

1298
01:17:29,980 --> 01:17:32,024
After that,
he gets a real taste for it.

1299
01:17:32,232 --> 01:17:34,860
Like 10-year-old
Kirsten Dunst, motherfucker!

1300
01:17:35,027 --> 01:17:36,820
So he keeps killing...

1301
01:17:36,987 --> 01:17:38,322
and killing, and killing,

1302
01:17:38,405 --> 01:17:39,740
and killing.

1303
01:17:40,073 --> 01:17:43,285
Until one day, he kills
the wrong fucking people.

1304
01:17:45,871 --> 01:17:47,247
My people.

1305
01:17:51,168 --> 01:17:52,252
Relax.

1306
01:17:52,336 --> 01:17:54,713
I'm retrieving something
from my utility bag.

1307
01:17:54,921 --> 01:17:57,424
It's a goddamn fanny pack...

1308
01:17:57,507 --> 01:17:59,968
and you know it,
you sick son of a bitch!

1309
01:18:00,177 --> 01:18:01,845
The difference
is night and day.

1310
01:18:03,638 --> 01:18:05,766
You remind me of my wife.

1311
01:18:06,099 --> 01:18:07,100
I'm sorry.

1312
01:18:07,476 --> 01:18:08,977
I said, "You remind me
of my wife."

1313
01:18:09,061 --> 01:18:10,135
No, I'm sorry
that you said that...

1314
01:18:10,145 --> 01:18:12,773
while making heavy eye contact
and applying lip balm.

1315
01:18:12,856 --> 01:18:14,024
She always struggled.

1316
01:18:15,233 --> 01:18:16,568
But she was funny...

1317
01:18:16,818 --> 01:18:19,154
and filtered her pain
through the prism of humor.

1318
01:18:20,113 --> 01:18:22,240
Something I could
never master.

1319
01:18:23,075 --> 01:18:25,285
It was my fault she died.

1320
01:18:27,079 --> 01:18:29,748
It was my job
to stop people like him.

1321
01:18:30,791 --> 01:18:32,709
I came close a few times.

1322
01:18:36,922 --> 01:18:38,590
He wasn't too happy
about that.

1323
01:18:40,300 --> 01:18:41,385
He was trying to hurt me...

1324
01:18:41,510 --> 01:18:43,845
and he knew exactly
how to do it.

1325
01:18:47,599 --> 01:18:49,267
Blessed are the wicked

1326
01:18:49,351 --> 01:18:50,811
who are healed by my hand.

1327
01:18:54,022 --> 01:18:55,357
He came into my home...

1328
01:18:56,400 --> 01:18:59,277
and took the only thing
that made it a home.

1329
01:19:03,365 --> 01:19:04,741
Sound familiar?

1330
01:19:05,909 --> 01:19:07,509
- I'm sorry.
- Uh-huh.

1331
01:19:07,577 --> 01:19:09,246
No, I'm really sorry.

1332
01:19:11,456 --> 01:19:13,500
But that isn't Russell.

1333
01:19:13,583 --> 01:19:15,617
It doesn't have to be him.
If you knew what I knew...

1334
01:19:15,627 --> 01:19:17,462
Yeah, he's got anger issues...

1335
01:19:17,546 --> 01:19:19,131
maybe a small
learning disability...

1336
01:19:19,214 --> 01:19:20,507
splash of diabetes...

1337
01:19:20,674 --> 01:19:21,967
but nothing
that can't be fixed.

1338
01:19:22,050 --> 01:19:23,593
If you could go back...

1339
01:19:23,760 --> 01:19:26,430
and stop the people that took
your girl, would you?

1340
01:19:26,596 --> 01:19:28,348
Of course I fucking would!

1341
01:19:29,099 --> 01:19:30,767
But I wouldn't kill a kid.

1342
01:19:30,892 --> 01:19:32,269
I'm not asking you
to kill a kid!

1343
01:19:32,352 --> 01:19:33,645
I'll kill the kid.

1344
01:19:33,812 --> 01:19:37,190
I'm asking you to save
hundreds of other kids.

1345
01:19:37,357 --> 01:19:39,568
Russell's gonna burn down
that orphanage.

1346
01:19:39,734 --> 01:19:41,653
And I can imagine
your dead girlfriend...

1347
01:19:41,820 --> 01:19:44,239
would want you to do the right thing,
wouldn't she?

1348
01:19:45,073 --> 01:19:47,659
So, what's it gonna be,
handsome?

1349
01:19:48,326 --> 01:19:49,911
Give me a chance
to save him.

1350
01:19:50,078 --> 01:19:51,428
- What?
- You said...

1351
01:19:51,580 --> 01:19:53,321
once he kills someone,
he gets a taste for it.

1352
01:19:53,331 --> 01:19:55,584
If we can get to him
before that happens...

1353
01:19:55,667 --> 01:19:57,252
promise you'll give me
a chance

1354
01:19:57,335 --> 01:19:59,045
to put him
on a different path.

1355
01:19:59,212 --> 01:20:00,380
Define "chance."

1356
01:20:00,547 --> 01:20:01,705
I don't know.
How long does it take

1357
01:20:01,715 --> 01:20:03,081
to save someone's soul?
That's not...

1358
01:20:03,091 --> 01:20:04,342
I'll give you 30 seconds.

1359
01:20:04,509 --> 01:20:06,459
- What? No!
- Best I can do.

1360
01:20:06,511 --> 01:20:07,804
Take it or leave it.

1361
01:20:18,273 --> 01:20:19,713
He's doing it!

1362
01:20:19,858 --> 01:20:21,418
Look at the little fella.
He's doing it.

1363
01:20:21,443 --> 01:20:23,278
There he goes.

1364
01:20:23,445 --> 01:20:24,863
Jesus Christ!

1365
01:20:25,030 --> 01:20:26,406
Just shirt-cocking it.

1366
01:20:26,490 --> 01:20:27,491
Ugh.

1367
01:20:28,450 --> 01:20:29,910
There you go,
little fella.

1368
01:20:30,535 --> 01:20:31,870
Go on, you're doing it!

1369
01:20:32,287 --> 01:20:35,123
My beautiful, hairless,
Twizzler-legged baby boy.

1370
01:20:37,334 --> 01:20:38,376
Christ!

1371
01:20:38,543 --> 01:20:40,086
That's disturbing.

1372
01:20:40,253 --> 01:20:41,588
30 seconds.

1373
01:20:47,010 --> 01:20:48,470
- Deal.
- Deal.

1374
01:20:51,056 --> 01:20:53,517
I have no idea
what's happening.

1375
01:20:53,600 --> 01:20:55,810
Probably for the best.

1376
01:20:57,020 --> 01:21:00,315
And that is why
you never eat a raw starfish.

1377
01:21:00,524 --> 01:21:02,150
It's just common sense.

1378
01:21:02,859 --> 01:21:04,194
Where the hell
are we going?

1379
01:21:04,277 --> 01:21:05,477
You said it yourself.

1380
01:21:05,654 --> 01:21:08,448
Nothing can stop the Juggernaut.
We need backup.

1381
01:21:08,657 --> 01:21:11,368
I will bathe in the blood
of your enemies.

1382
01:21:15,580 --> 01:21:16,831
Can you turn off
the music?

1383
01:21:18,458 --> 01:21:20,418
You'll do no such thing.

1384
01:21:20,585 --> 01:21:22,420
Why don't you just say it
in an Indian accent?

1385
01:21:22,796 --> 01:21:23,838
What the hell are you...?

1386
01:21:23,964 --> 01:21:25,882
Once again, intolerance rears
its ugly head.

1387
01:21:25,966 --> 01:21:27,592
I am so sorry.
It gets better.

1388
01:21:27,759 --> 01:21:29,469
I'm not a fucking racist,
moron!

1389
01:21:29,553 --> 01:21:31,763
Tell that to Black Tom.
He was like a brother to me.

1390
01:21:32,681 --> 01:21:34,599
I'm with the old white guy
on this one.

1391
01:21:34,683 --> 01:21:35,767
And that's a twist.

1392
01:21:36,017 --> 01:21:37,203
So what exactly do you

1393
01:21:37,227 --> 01:21:38,301
do in the future,
anyway, huh?

1394
01:21:38,311 --> 01:21:39,563
Some kind of soldier?

1395
01:21:39,980 --> 01:21:41,690
Yeah, something like that.

1396
01:21:41,856 --> 01:21:43,942
I was a soldier.
Special Forces.

1397
01:21:44,150 --> 01:21:46,570
I bet 50 years from now,
we're bestest buddies.

1398
01:21:46,736 --> 01:21:48,697
50 years from now,
you're very dead.

1399
01:21:48,863 --> 01:21:51,533
Your entire generation fucked
this planet into a coma.

1400
01:21:51,616 --> 01:21:52,867
Boom!

1401
01:21:52,951 --> 01:21:54,035
Spoiler alert.

1402
01:21:55,245 --> 01:21:56,580
Planets.

1403
01:21:56,830 --> 01:21:58,290
Next time, Uber.

1404
01:21:58,373 --> 01:21:59,749
Here's a spoiler alert.

1405
01:22:00,917 --> 01:22:02,669
You're not a fucking hero.

1406
01:22:03,044 --> 01:22:06,590
You're just an annoying clown
dressed up as a sex toy.

1407
01:22:06,965 --> 01:22:08,192
Well, I got news for you.

1408
01:22:08,216 --> 01:22:09,509
My heart
is in the right place.

1409
01:22:09,593 --> 01:22:11,011
Russell's not
gonna kill anyone.

1410
01:22:11,177 --> 01:22:13,417
Because of me, he's gonna know
what real love looks like.

1411
01:22:13,555 --> 01:22:15,015
Because of you,
I'll always know

1412
01:22:15,098 --> 01:22:17,100
what a grown man
with baby balls looks like.

1413
01:22:17,267 --> 01:22:19,644
I'm a grower, not a shower.

1414
01:22:19,811 --> 01:22:20,979
I should've finished college.

1415
01:22:21,146 --> 01:22:22,355
Right here!

1416
01:22:40,498 --> 01:22:42,167
I made mistakes!

1417
01:22:42,542 --> 01:22:44,252
I wanna take them back!

1418
01:22:44,419 --> 01:22:47,255
You trusted me.
I took that trust...

1419
01:22:47,422 --> 01:22:48,757
and turned it
into a glory hole

1420
01:22:48,840 --> 01:22:50,175
in an airport bathroom.

1421
01:22:50,342 --> 01:22:53,053
The one in Minneapolis.
You know the one.

1422
01:22:54,137 --> 01:22:55,138
Colossus!

1423
01:22:55,305 --> 01:22:57,545
I wouldn't ask for your help
unless it was life or death!

1424
01:22:57,682 --> 01:22:59,601
That kid needs our help!

1425
01:22:59,768 --> 01:23:01,686
I know you're listening!

1426
01:23:01,770 --> 01:23:03,094
He's teamed up
with the Juggernaut!

1427
01:23:03,104 --> 01:23:04,314
The Juggernaut!

1428
01:23:04,397 --> 01:23:06,056
That's like my favorite
Marvel character ever,

1429
01:23:06,066 --> 01:23:07,651
but you should never
meet your heroes...

1430
01:23:07,734 --> 01:23:10,445
because, honestly,
he's a bit of a dick!

1431
01:23:10,612 --> 01:23:12,989
And like a lot of dicks,
he's as hard as a rock...

1432
01:23:13,073 --> 01:23:14,616
and causes nothing
but problems!

1433
01:23:14,699 --> 01:23:16,034
Hi, Wade!
Hi, Yukio!

1434
01:23:16,117 --> 01:23:17,118
Please don't.

1435
01:23:17,202 --> 01:23:18,485
You guys make
a super cute couple.

1436
01:23:18,495 --> 01:23:20,747
Yeah. Where was I?
Oh, yeah!

1437
01:23:20,997 --> 01:23:22,791
Colossus!
Look, I don't deserve

1438
01:23:22,874 --> 01:23:24,959
your friendship or your help.

1439
01:23:25,085 --> 01:23:26,795
But this kid does.

1440
01:23:26,878 --> 01:23:29,589
And I'm not gonna bail on him
like everyone else.

1441
01:23:31,466 --> 01:23:33,426
Oh, come on!

1442
01:23:37,639 --> 01:23:40,392
Any chance Pigeon Wings
is available?

1443
01:23:40,767 --> 01:23:43,061
That's just fine!
That's fine!

1444
01:23:43,228 --> 01:23:44,646
No! You know what?

1445
01:23:44,729 --> 01:23:47,440
Doing the right thing
is sometimes messy...

1446
01:23:47,649 --> 01:23:50,610
and fucked up, and not
particularly convenient!

1447
01:23:51,027 --> 01:23:54,239
So stay here
in Chateau de Virgin...

1448
01:23:54,322 --> 01:23:56,449
while we go get our fuck on!

1449
01:23:59,494 --> 01:24:01,079
You're doing great.

1450
01:24:06,459 --> 01:24:07,978
So you wear
that helmet because

1451
01:24:08,002 --> 01:24:09,629
your brother
tries to read your mind?

1452
01:24:09,796 --> 01:24:12,924
Yeah, but he's in
a wheelchair, so even-steven.

1453
01:24:13,091 --> 01:24:15,427
Someone's coming.
It's Russell, sir.

1454
01:24:15,510 --> 01:24:16,970
He's not alone.

1455
01:24:17,595 --> 01:24:19,305
Secure the children.

1456
01:24:23,852 --> 01:24:26,146
What do you say
we go fuck some shit up?

1457
01:24:26,688 --> 01:24:30,525
"Let's fuck some shit up"
is my legal middle name.

1458
01:24:33,862 --> 01:24:36,322
Watch my back.
I've got the old man.

1459
01:24:36,531 --> 01:24:38,825
Amen, brother.

1460
01:24:44,622 --> 01:24:46,207
Time to make the chimichangas.

1461
01:24:46,291 --> 01:24:47,876
30 seconds.

1462
01:24:48,501 --> 01:24:50,628
I finally know
why I'm here.

1463
01:24:51,045 --> 01:24:52,881
I was raised
in this place.

1464
01:24:53,047 --> 01:24:55,300
Well, not raised.
I was tortured.

1465
01:24:55,383 --> 01:24:58,094
Wow! It's your cosmic reason
for being here.

1466
01:24:58,303 --> 01:24:59,637
- Shall we?
- This is gonna be fun.

1467
01:24:59,721 --> 01:25:00,722
Yeah!

1468
01:25:00,805 --> 01:25:02,307
Hey! Been meaning
to ask you...

1469
01:25:02,390 --> 01:25:05,393
what's with the creepy,
dirty hobo bear?

1470
01:25:06,102 --> 01:25:09,439
It's not dirt. It's the blood
of my dead daughter.

1471
01:25:11,775 --> 01:25:13,526
I have
a gluten sensitivity.

1472
01:25:13,693 --> 01:25:15,195
So one glass of wine,
I just...

1473
01:25:16,571 --> 01:25:17,572
Yeah.

1474
01:25:21,242 --> 01:25:22,442
Wish we could
head back in time,

1475
01:25:22,452 --> 01:25:24,078
and I could take
all that back.

1476
01:25:24,287 --> 01:25:25,580
We should just cue
the music.

1477
01:25:50,897 --> 01:25:53,525
Welcome home, Russell.
We missed you.

1478
01:25:54,734 --> 01:25:55,735
Russell!

1479
01:25:55,819 --> 01:25:58,154
You don't need to do this!
Let's talk!

1480
01:25:59,280 --> 01:26:00,800
Why are you dressed
like the Unabomber?

1481
01:26:04,911 --> 01:26:05,912
That's why!

1482
01:26:05,995 --> 01:26:07,195
Told you this little fucker's
too far gone.

1483
01:26:07,205 --> 01:26:09,249
Zip it, Thanos!
We have a deal and you fuck...

1484
01:26:09,332 --> 01:26:11,376
Hey!

1485
01:26:11,876 --> 01:26:15,004
I'm gonna shove that
cab driver right up your ass.

1486
01:26:16,130 --> 01:26:18,216
My body and my hands
are so soft.

1487
01:26:18,299 --> 01:26:19,499
You should probably
head back to the car.

1488
01:26:19,509 --> 01:26:21,177
I think I'll head
back to the car.

1489
01:26:22,512 --> 01:26:25,181
It works best
when you pull the trigger.

1490
01:26:28,101 --> 01:26:29,352
That gun is amazing!

1491
01:26:30,728 --> 01:26:31,938
Say it!

1492
01:26:34,107 --> 01:26:37,026
You are an abomination!

1493
01:26:44,450 --> 01:26:47,620
Now, I'm gonna shove
the red guy up the old guy.

1494
01:26:47,745 --> 01:26:50,206
I believe him!
Every man for themselves!

1495
01:26:54,544 --> 01:26:55,628
Gotcha!

1496
01:26:56,421 --> 01:26:57,589
Beat it, midget!

1497
01:27:00,592 --> 01:27:03,303
Hey, big guy,
the sun's getting real low!

1498
01:27:03,720 --> 01:27:04,804
Oh, shit fuck!

1499
01:27:18,693 --> 01:27:20,278
Come here, beautiful.

1500
01:27:22,405 --> 01:27:23,489
Say it!

1501
01:27:38,004 --> 01:27:40,214
(IN YOUR EYES PLAYING)

1502
01:28:22,924 --> 01:28:23,925
You came for me.

1503
01:28:24,258 --> 01:28:25,677
I'm not giving up on you,

1504
01:28:25,760 --> 01:28:27,762
and you are not
giving up on that boy.

1505
01:28:27,845 --> 01:28:29,681
Who says that rules
aren't meant to be broken?

1506
01:28:29,889 --> 01:28:32,266
It's time to fight dirty.

1507
01:28:32,350 --> 01:28:33,685
Time to sweep the leg, Johnny.

1508
01:28:33,768 --> 01:28:36,354
Hey! Pick on someone
your own size!

1509
01:28:36,688 --> 01:28:38,731
That's such
a you thing to say!

1510
01:28:38,815 --> 01:28:40,400
Go get him, tiger!

1511
01:28:40,650 --> 01:28:42,610
Big CGI fight coming up!

1512
01:29:05,717 --> 01:29:06,801
He's doing great.

1513
01:29:06,884 --> 01:29:08,261
Say it!

1514
01:29:12,515 --> 01:29:13,933
- Russell.
- Bingo!

1515
01:29:25,945 --> 01:29:27,905
That's right!
I'm fighting dirty!

1516
01:29:29,073 --> 01:29:30,073
Oh, great!

1517
01:29:30,158 --> 01:29:31,232
There they are.
Those freaks!

1518
01:29:31,242 --> 01:29:33,402
A bunch of armed
pedophiles in nursing shoes.

1519
01:29:33,536 --> 01:29:34,996
Can I have
one of those guns?

1520
01:29:35,663 --> 01:29:37,331
- No.
- That's fine.

1521
01:29:37,498 --> 01:29:39,333
Get off this property,
mutant scum!

1522
01:29:39,417 --> 01:29:40,577
I'm just gonna
use this brick.

1523
01:29:41,210 --> 01:29:42,211
Maximum effort.

1524
01:29:48,342 --> 01:29:50,094
Who says you can't
go home again?

1525
01:29:58,811 --> 01:30:00,730
Oh!

1526
01:30:07,236 --> 01:30:08,237
Yeah!

1527
01:30:10,448 --> 01:30:11,783
Say it.

1528
01:30:12,158 --> 01:30:15,203
Say what you said
every time you tortured me!

1529
01:30:15,745 --> 01:30:16,746
Say it!

1530
01:30:16,829 --> 01:30:19,749
Blessed are the wicked
who are healed by my hand!

1531
01:30:21,042 --> 01:30:22,627
Blessed are the wicked...

1532
01:30:23,169 --> 01:30:24,378
who are healed...

1533
01:30:24,879 --> 01:30:26,380
by my hand.

1534
01:30:44,482 --> 01:30:46,192
You commie motherfucker!

1535
01:31:13,177 --> 01:31:14,937
Oh, my God.
Did you feel that, too?

1536
01:31:15,763 --> 01:31:17,974
Only best buddies
execute pedophiles together.

1537
01:31:21,018 --> 01:31:23,354
You got 30 seconds,
you jabbering butt plug!

1538
01:31:23,437 --> 01:31:24,564
Now we're getting it.

1539
01:31:29,277 --> 01:31:31,529
I need a bus
to get you all out of here.

1540
01:31:36,868 --> 01:31:37,910
Orphans.

1541
01:31:39,078 --> 01:31:40,288
Oh, geez.

1542
01:31:41,706 --> 01:31:44,292
It's time to burn
for what you've done!

1543
01:31:44,375 --> 01:31:46,878
A child should not be burdened
with such power!

1544
01:31:55,678 --> 01:31:56,762
Russell! Wait!

1545
01:32:02,852 --> 01:32:04,020
Oh!

1546
01:32:11,360 --> 01:32:13,321
Wait! He hasn't killed
anyone yet!

1547
01:32:13,487 --> 01:32:15,521
What more do you need to see?
Don't you fucking dare!

1548
01:32:15,531 --> 01:32:16,616
He's just a kid!

1549
01:32:16,782 --> 01:32:18,659
Tick, tock. Meter's running!

1550
01:32:31,339 --> 01:32:34,383
I'm gonna melt you down
and make a cock ring.

1551
01:32:54,779 --> 01:32:57,329
- I told you! Leave me alone!
- Come on!

1552
01:32:57,406 --> 01:32:58,407
Listen to me!

1553
01:33:22,056 --> 01:33:23,891
That's how we do it

1554
01:33:23,975 --> 01:33:25,434
in Mother Russia.

1555
01:33:27,645 --> 01:33:30,189
They say millennials are
the hardest to reach.

1556
01:33:31,565 --> 01:33:34,777
Oh, no.
You're doing amazing.

1557
01:33:36,070 --> 01:33:38,572
Damn, it feels good
to be a gangsta!

1558
01:33:38,990 --> 01:33:40,700
Go home, Wade!

1559
01:33:40,950 --> 01:33:42,785
You're ruining everything!

1560
01:33:48,040 --> 01:33:49,375
I'm getting good
at this shit.

1561
01:33:49,500 --> 01:33:50,543
Go, go, go!

1562
01:33:54,046 --> 01:33:55,840
He dies tonight, Wade.

1563
01:33:56,048 --> 01:33:57,550
You can't stop me!

1564
01:33:58,634 --> 01:34:00,314
He even runs
like a fucking pervert.

1565
01:34:00,553 --> 01:34:03,306
Like an online predator
who lost his laptop.

1566
01:34:04,724 --> 01:34:06,124
There's one bullet left
in that gun.

1567
01:34:06,267 --> 01:34:08,147
Wait, wait, wait!
Please, just give me a second!

1568
01:34:08,311 --> 01:34:09,645
I got this.

1569
01:34:09,812 --> 01:34:11,912
- Russell!
- Stay back! Go home, Wade!

1570
01:34:12,106 --> 01:34:14,150
Let's talk. It doesn't
have to go this way!

1571
01:34:14,734 --> 01:34:16,027
That piece of shit...

1572
01:34:16,527 --> 01:34:18,167
he deserves to die
for what he did to you.

1573
01:34:18,279 --> 01:34:21,657
He hurt you badly.
Makes you wanna hurt others.

1574
01:34:22,533 --> 01:34:24,201
But if you kill him,
he wins.

1575
01:34:24,285 --> 01:34:27,788
You become everything
he says you are, but worse.

1576
01:34:28,289 --> 01:34:29,749
You're just a kid.

1577
01:34:30,333 --> 01:34:31,959
You don't wanna hurt anyone.

1578
01:34:32,126 --> 01:34:33,252
How do you know
what I want?

1579
01:34:33,419 --> 01:34:34,962
Because I've been inside you.

1580
01:34:35,671 --> 01:34:36,964
That came out wrong.

1581
01:34:37,631 --> 01:34:39,216
I've been inside your shoes.

1582
01:34:39,383 --> 01:34:41,135
Which is also off-putting.

1583
01:34:41,302 --> 01:34:42,636
It's not a great analogy.

1584
01:34:42,803 --> 01:34:44,221
The point is...

1585
01:34:44,680 --> 01:34:46,265
there are people...

1586
01:34:46,432 --> 01:34:49,310
There are people
in this fucking world...

1587
01:34:49,518 --> 01:34:52,104
besides him,
who will treat you right.

1588
01:34:52,271 --> 01:34:54,899
It isn't too late.
Don't do it.

1589
01:35:00,404 --> 01:35:02,782
I never should've left
you there.

1590
01:35:04,533 --> 01:35:06,410
I never should've left you
in that prison.

1591
01:35:13,501 --> 01:35:14,794
I can't trust you.

1592
01:35:16,504 --> 01:35:18,881
I can't trust anybody!

1593
01:35:28,057 --> 01:35:29,100
Wonderful kid.

1594
01:35:29,475 --> 01:35:31,143
You can't stop me, Wade!

1595
01:35:33,396 --> 01:35:35,523
I got one more idea.

1596
01:35:35,689 --> 01:35:38,484
It's just a really bad one,
even for me.

1597
01:35:38,651 --> 01:35:39,735
Wade, what are you doing?

1598
01:35:39,902 --> 01:35:41,622
All right. This is for
all the marbles, kid!

1599
01:35:42,279 --> 01:35:43,989
You're gonna kill
someone today...

1600
01:35:44,407 --> 01:35:45,699
Blessed are the wicked...

1601
01:35:45,866 --> 01:35:47,785
...then it's gotta be me.

1602
01:35:48,869 --> 01:35:50,788
...who are healed by my hand!

1603
01:35:53,958 --> 01:35:56,335
Fuck this!

1604
01:35:57,711 --> 01:35:59,713
(TOMORROW PLAYING)

1605
01:36:00,631 --> 01:36:03,551
♪ The sun will come out tomorrow ♪

1606
01:36:04,218 --> 01:36:08,347
♪ Bet your bottom dollar ♪
♪ that tomorrow ♪

1607
01:36:08,722 --> 01:36:11,183
♪ There'll be sun ♪

1608
01:36:11,976 --> 01:36:17,773
♪ When I'm stuck with a day ♪
♪ that's gray and lonely ♪

1609
01:36:18,190 --> 01:36:24,989
♪ I just stick out my chin ♪
♪ and grin and say ♪

1610
01:36:31,495 --> 01:36:34,665
♪ The sun will come out tomorrow ♪

1611
01:36:34,999 --> 01:36:39,044
♪ So you gotta hang on ♪
♪ till tomorrow ♪

1612
01:36:39,712 --> 01:36:42,715
♪ Come what may ♪

1613
01:36:43,048 --> 01:36:48,053
♪ Tomorrow, tomorrow ♪
♪ I love ya, tomorrow ♪

1614
01:36:48,429 --> 01:36:53,434
♪ You're always a day away ♪

1615
01:36:57,021 --> 01:36:59,982
Tell me they got that
in slow motion.

1616
01:37:05,070 --> 01:37:06,447
Oh, that's not good.

1617
01:37:08,032 --> 01:37:09,700
No, sir.

1618
01:37:17,082 --> 01:37:20,002
You sacrificed yourself
for me.

1619
01:37:20,419 --> 01:37:21,462
Yeah.

1620
01:37:21,629 --> 01:37:23,839
And it was the best thing
I ever did.

1621
01:37:25,925 --> 01:37:27,885
I told you
I care about you.

1622
01:37:27,968 --> 01:37:29,720
You're a good kid, Russell.

1623
01:37:31,597 --> 01:37:32,681
Hey.

1624
01:37:34,016 --> 01:37:35,142
The bear.

1625
01:37:35,226 --> 01:37:36,519
It worked.

1626
01:37:43,651 --> 01:37:45,069
Because of you.

1627
01:37:45,236 --> 01:37:47,488
No, Wade, because of you.

1628
01:37:48,447 --> 01:37:50,407
Stop, stop, stop!

1629
01:37:50,491 --> 01:37:51,659
Stop!

1630
01:37:52,910 --> 01:37:55,371
Just let it happen, okay?

1631
01:37:55,913 --> 01:37:58,832
I guess my heart was finally
in the right place.

1632
01:37:59,124 --> 01:38:01,544
That riddle
is so fucked up.

1633
01:38:06,715 --> 01:38:09,218
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

1634
01:38:09,301 --> 01:38:10,594
Don't be. Don't be.

1635
01:38:10,678 --> 01:38:12,598
I've been trying to make
this happen for a while.

1636
01:38:13,013 --> 01:38:14,557
Please, just don't leave me.

1637
01:38:14,640 --> 01:38:16,141
I don't wanna die
without an audience.

1638
01:38:16,308 --> 01:38:17,893
We are not going anywhere.

1639
01:38:18,060 --> 01:38:20,145
Oh, God, I hope
the Academy is watching.

1640
01:38:20,229 --> 01:38:21,272
Just rest, okay?

1641
01:38:23,190 --> 01:38:24,275
Papa.

1642
01:38:26,485 --> 01:38:28,362
♪ Papa, can you hear me? ♪

1643
01:38:30,656 --> 01:38:36,662
♪ Papa, can you find me ♪
♪ in the night? ♪

1644
01:38:57,933 --> 01:38:59,184
Before I go...

1645
01:38:59,727 --> 01:39:01,437
Sorry, I got a bit more in me.

1646
01:39:02,021 --> 01:39:03,147
Domino.

1647
01:39:03,314 --> 01:39:07,818
I want you to have
my Adventure Time watch.

1648
01:39:10,362 --> 01:39:13,240
Turns out
that I'm the lucky one.

1649
01:39:13,991 --> 01:39:15,117
Thank you.

1650
01:39:16,452 --> 01:39:19,371
Hey, Sabrina,
the Teenage Witch.

1651
01:39:19,997 --> 01:39:22,082
It has been a pleasure.

1652
01:39:23,709 --> 01:39:26,409
- Hi, Yukio.
- Hi, Wade!

1653
01:39:28,339 --> 01:39:29,548
And you...

1654
01:39:30,090 --> 01:39:31,216
Chrome Bone.

1655
01:39:32,134 --> 01:39:34,511
I haven't always been
the best friend to you.

1656
01:39:35,095 --> 01:39:37,348
But you've always been
that to me.

1657
01:39:37,514 --> 01:39:38,807
So thank you.

1658
01:39:40,976 --> 01:39:42,561
Say "fuck" for me.

1659
01:39:43,395 --> 01:39:44,647
Just once. Come on,

1660
01:39:44,730 --> 01:39:46,250
we'll do it together.
It's no big deal.

1661
01:39:46,398 --> 01:39:49,401
Here we go. One, two, three.
F... F... F...

1662
01:39:49,485 --> 01:39:50,486
Fuck.

1663
01:39:50,653 --> 01:39:53,947
Wow! Enjoy hell, swamp mouth.

1664
01:39:55,407 --> 01:39:57,618
And you, Cable.

1665
01:39:58,535 --> 01:40:02,206
You get back to your family.
You tell 'em Wade says hi.

1666
01:40:03,082 --> 01:40:06,210
And promise me.
Promise me one thing.

1667
01:40:06,752 --> 01:40:08,128
That you'll start
judging people...

1668
01:40:08,212 --> 01:40:09,546
not by the color
of their skin,

1669
01:40:09,630 --> 01:40:11,423
but by the content
of their character.

1670
01:40:12,257 --> 01:40:13,759
- Jesus.
- R-Dog?

1671
01:40:15,052 --> 01:40:16,929
There you are. Hey!

1672
01:40:17,554 --> 01:40:19,223
You're a superhero now, bubba.

1673
01:40:20,724 --> 01:40:21,809
Look.

1674
01:40:22,101 --> 01:40:24,728
Family is not an F-word.

1675
01:40:25,521 --> 01:40:26,730
All right?

1676
01:40:26,855 --> 01:40:28,732
There's one out there for you.

1677
01:40:29,316 --> 01:40:31,026
Just keep looking, okay?

1678
01:40:34,488 --> 01:40:37,241
Guys, for a second there...

1679
01:40:38,075 --> 01:40:40,744
we made a pretty good team.

1680
01:40:55,259 --> 01:40:57,261
Oh, it's so hard to go.

1681
01:40:58,762 --> 01:41:01,140
I just love being around
you guys so much.

1682
01:41:02,224 --> 01:41:03,475
So, so much.

1683
01:41:04,184 --> 01:41:05,269
Mmm.

1684
01:41:05,602 --> 01:41:07,771
No, I can feel it now.
Here it comes, yeah.

1685
01:41:08,480 --> 01:41:12,234
I feel the soul
exiting the husk.

1686
01:41:12,401 --> 01:41:13,402
Yeah.

1687
01:41:15,070 --> 01:41:16,905
Can you see it?

1688
01:41:17,698 --> 01:41:19,867
Do you see
that beautiful bright light?

1689
01:41:21,326 --> 01:41:22,494
There it is.

1690
01:41:28,751 --> 01:41:29,960
Oh, that's the sun.

1691
01:41:30,043 --> 01:41:31,879
Don't stare
directly into that.

1692
01:41:32,129 --> 01:41:33,464
I just have
a few final words.

1693
01:41:35,716 --> 01:41:37,092
Woodpecker.

1694
01:41:37,885 --> 01:41:39,219
Gingivitis.

1695
01:41:41,263 --> 01:41:42,639
Codswallop.

1696
01:41:46,977 --> 01:41:49,229
Do You Want to
Build a Snowman?

1697
01:42:16,590 --> 01:42:18,801
(TAKE ON ME
PLAYING)

1698
01:42:28,018 --> 01:42:30,521
♪ We're talking away ♪

1699
01:42:31,897 --> 01:42:34,566
♪ I don't know ♪
♪ what I'm to say ♪

1700
01:42:34,733 --> 01:42:37,653
♪ I'll say it anyway ♪

1701
01:42:38,529 --> 01:42:42,491
♪ Today's another day ♪
♪ to find you ♪

1702
01:42:43,116 --> 01:42:44,910
♪ Shying away ♪

1703
01:42:46,328 --> 01:42:49,414
♪ I'll be coming ♪
♪ for your love, okay? ♪

1704
01:42:49,790 --> 01:42:54,336
♪ Take on me ♪

1705
01:42:57,339 --> 01:43:02,344
♪ Take me on ♪

1706
01:43:03,804 --> 01:43:04,972
Sorry I'm late.

1707
01:43:05,222 --> 01:43:06,723
There was a bunch

1708
01:43:06,807 --> 01:43:08,298
of handicapable children
who were stuck in a tree.

1709
01:43:08,308 --> 01:43:09,518
- No.
- No.

1710
01:43:10,602 --> 01:43:13,272
- But I did have to help a kid.
- Yeah.

1711
01:43:13,730 --> 01:43:15,607
- He's got a terrible name.
- It's just awful.

1712
01:43:15,691 --> 01:43:17,091
- Ugh.
- I tried to tell him.

1713
01:43:19,027 --> 01:43:20,404
Is this heaven?

1714
01:43:21,280 --> 01:43:22,489
It is now.

1715
01:43:25,993 --> 01:43:27,870
I am so sorry.

1716
01:43:28,662 --> 01:43:29,997
It's okay.

1717
01:43:30,706 --> 01:43:33,959
♪ Slowly learning ♪
♪ that life is okay ♪

1718
01:43:34,793 --> 01:43:36,920
♪ Say after me ♪

1719
01:43:38,130 --> 01:43:41,633
♪ It's no better to be safe ♪
♪ than sorry ♪

1720
01:43:42,259 --> 01:43:46,722
♪ Take on me ♪

1721
01:43:49,850 --> 01:43:51,727
I missed you so much.

1722
01:43:57,316 --> 01:43:58,984
What is it? What's wrong?

1723
01:44:00,903 --> 01:44:02,362
It's not time.

1724
01:44:02,988 --> 01:44:04,865
What do you mean
it's not time?

1725
01:44:05,032 --> 01:44:06,532
I'm here, I made it.

1726
01:44:06,783 --> 01:44:08,383
- You can't stay.
- No, no, no.

1727
01:44:08,535 --> 01:44:11,079
I'm staying. I'm not going
anywhere without you.

1728
01:44:11,163 --> 01:44:12,164
It's okay.

1729
01:44:12,664 --> 01:44:15,500
There's a time for us.
It's just not now.

1730
01:44:16,501 --> 01:44:18,901
- They need you.
- Who?

1731
01:44:21,089 --> 01:44:22,382
Your F-word.

1732
01:44:23,592 --> 01:44:24,593
Why?

1733
01:44:24,927 --> 01:44:26,720
You'll find out.

1734
01:44:27,679 --> 01:44:29,598
It's all right. I'll be here.

1735
01:44:30,974 --> 01:44:32,225
I love you.

1736
01:44:34,645 --> 01:44:37,064
I know. I love you, too.

1737
01:44:37,898 --> 01:44:38,899
Now, go.

1738
01:44:40,108 --> 01:44:42,110
Go on. Go, get out of here.

1739
01:44:43,153 --> 01:44:44,154
Go.

1740
01:44:47,032 --> 01:44:48,033
Hey!

1741
01:44:51,036 --> 01:44:53,205
Kiss me
like you miss me, Red.

1742
01:44:53,830 --> 01:44:54,957
Well, come here.

1743
01:44:57,292 --> 01:45:02,464
♪ Take me on ♪

1744
01:45:04,675 --> 01:45:09,513
♪ I'll be gone ♪

1745
01:45:10,847 --> 01:45:14,226
♪ In a day or two ♪

1746
01:45:14,351 --> 01:45:15,769
Don't fuck Elvis.

1747
01:45:15,978 --> 01:45:17,828
- Don't fuck Colossus.
- What?

1748
01:45:27,698 --> 01:45:28,898
Time to make the chimichangas.

1749
01:45:28,991 --> 01:45:29,992
30 seconds.

1750
01:45:30,158 --> 01:45:31,368
Hey. Been meaning
to ask you...

1751
01:45:31,451 --> 01:45:33,829
what's with the creepy,
dirty hobo bear?

1752
01:45:33,912 --> 01:45:35,664
It's my daughter's
teddy bear.

1753
01:45:35,747 --> 01:45:36,957
Her name's Hope.

1754
01:45:37,040 --> 01:45:38,166
Well...

1755
01:45:39,209 --> 01:45:41,003
What are you doing?

1756
01:45:41,128 --> 01:45:42,713
Somebody swiped right.

1757
01:45:55,350 --> 01:45:57,686
Tell me they got that
in slow motion.

1758
01:46:01,273 --> 01:46:02,858
You sacrificed
yourself for me.

1759
01:46:02,941 --> 01:46:04,443
It would seem I...

1760
01:46:06,945 --> 01:46:08,071
Huh?

1761
01:46:08,905 --> 01:46:11,241
Genuine, high-grade lead.

1762
01:46:13,452 --> 01:46:16,371
You time-sliding
son of a bitch!

1763
01:46:16,538 --> 01:46:18,123
You did this for me?

1764
01:46:20,000 --> 01:46:22,502
Wait. You can't go back.

1765
01:46:23,128 --> 01:46:24,379
You used
the last of your fuel.

1766
01:46:24,463 --> 01:46:26,089
What about your girl,
your wife?

1767
01:46:26,256 --> 01:46:29,509
Now, my family's safe.
And I didn't do it for you.

1768
01:46:30,969 --> 01:46:33,305
No, I'm gonna stick around
for a while...

1769
01:46:33,388 --> 01:46:34,598
and make sure the world

1770
01:46:34,681 --> 01:46:36,391
doesn't shit itself
into oblivion.

1771
01:46:37,184 --> 01:46:40,062
No. You did it for me.

1772
01:46:40,812 --> 01:46:42,147
No, I didn't.

1773
01:46:42,314 --> 01:46:43,614
- You did.
- I really didn't.

1774
01:46:43,774 --> 01:46:45,614
- Pretty sure you did.
- No, I'm positive I didn't.

1775
01:46:45,650 --> 01:46:47,319
Fine. All right,
let's flip a coin. Okay?

1776
01:46:47,486 --> 01:46:50,030
Heads, you did it for me.
Tails, you did it for me.

1777
01:46:50,197 --> 01:46:52,657
I'm not even gonna look,
because you did it for me.

1778
01:46:53,158 --> 01:46:54,158
Say it again.

1779
01:46:54,242 --> 01:46:55,692
- He did it for me.
- Jesus.

1780
01:46:55,700 --> 01:46:57,800
- We must get the collar off.
- Forget it. It's no use.

1781
01:46:57,829 --> 01:46:59,581
These collars
don't just come off.

1782
01:46:59,706 --> 01:47:00,707
Wade.

1783
01:47:01,291 --> 01:47:02,918
I have an idea.

1784
01:47:03,251 --> 01:47:05,253
No, no, no!
Let's not do that. Please!

1785
01:47:05,420 --> 01:47:07,714
I'd rather die of cancer.
Let's just...

1786
01:47:07,881 --> 01:47:10,926
Oh, God! They do say the pen
is grosser than the sword.

1787
01:47:11,009 --> 01:47:13,261
We need the code.

1788
01:47:13,428 --> 01:47:15,222
Try, uh, seven?

1789
01:47:15,388 --> 01:47:16,848
Settle down,
Captain Lucky.

1790
01:47:17,015 --> 01:47:18,350
It's not gonna be one number.

1791
01:47:18,517 --> 01:47:19,637
Oh, God,
that's lazy writing.

1792
01:47:20,602 --> 01:47:21,937
I still got it.

1793
01:47:24,940 --> 01:47:26,900
Put that back
in your prison wallet.

1794
01:47:28,652 --> 01:47:30,403
I don't know
how to thank you.

1795
01:47:30,570 --> 01:47:32,070
But I do know
how to hug you.

1796
01:47:32,531 --> 01:47:33,681
- No.
- Yes.

1797
01:47:33,865 --> 01:47:35,325
Here we go. Bring it in.

1798
01:47:35,408 --> 01:47:36,409
Come on.

1799
01:47:36,535 --> 01:47:37,828
Pelvis to pelvis.

1800
01:47:37,994 --> 01:47:39,246
Let's go tip to tip.

1801
01:47:39,412 --> 01:47:41,915
There we go.
The kids call this docking.

1802
01:47:43,667 --> 01:47:44,747
Is there a knife
in my dick?

1803
01:47:44,850 --> 01:47:47,200
- There's a knife in your dick.
- I'm just gonna back up now.

1804
01:47:47,212 --> 01:47:48,912
- Yeah, yeah.
- No need to go full Yentl.

1805
01:47:49,047 --> 01:47:51,716
Gonna pretend
like that never happened.

1806
01:47:51,883 --> 01:47:53,802
Let's go home, Russell.

1807
01:47:57,472 --> 01:47:59,683
All you dirty mutants

1808
01:47:59,766 --> 01:48:01,726
are gonna rot in hell
with the boy!

1809
01:48:01,893 --> 01:48:04,855
Your souls
are beyond redemption!

1810
01:48:05,021 --> 01:48:06,189
Let's see your soul, perv!

1811
01:48:06,356 --> 01:48:09,067
No, no! No! No more!
We're better than that!

1812
01:48:09,234 --> 01:48:10,318
We're better than him!

1813
01:48:10,485 --> 01:48:13,029
No more senseless violence!
No more bloodshed!

1814
01:48:13,196 --> 01:48:14,656
We'll let karma
take care of him.

1815
01:48:14,865 --> 01:48:17,826
The day of reckoning
is here!

1816
01:48:27,169 --> 01:48:29,171
I'm gonna miss him.
He seemed great.

1817
01:48:29,296 --> 01:48:30,463
Whoo!

1818
01:48:30,547 --> 01:48:32,048
Courage, motherfuckers!

1819
01:48:32,257 --> 01:48:33,383
And karma, motherfucker.

1820
01:48:33,592 --> 01:48:35,250
I could hear you
coming the last 30 seconds.

1821
01:48:35,260 --> 01:48:37,137
I could barely keep
a straight face.

1822
01:48:37,304 --> 01:48:39,014
I want some more.

1823
01:48:39,222 --> 01:48:40,765
I bet you do, Brown Panther.

1824
01:48:40,932 --> 01:48:43,935
We should leave
before Fuckernaut wakes up.

1825
01:48:44,519 --> 01:48:46,646
Good call.
You guys coming with us?

1826
01:48:46,855 --> 01:48:48,648
No, we'll get the kids
back to the mansion.

1827
01:48:48,815 --> 01:48:50,108
Besides, we're X-Men.

1828
01:48:50,400 --> 01:48:52,944
No, you're X-People.

1829
01:48:53,111 --> 01:48:54,279
You're exhausting.

1830
01:48:54,571 --> 01:48:56,406
I see what you did there.
Puns.

1831
01:48:56,948 --> 01:48:59,148
- Bye, Wade!
- Bye, Yukio!

1832
01:49:01,703 --> 01:49:02,746
What do you get

1833
01:49:02,829 --> 01:49:03,987
when you take
eight feet of chrome...

1834
01:49:03,997 --> 01:49:05,040
one pinch of courage...

1835
01:49:05,207 --> 01:49:06,333
a cup of good luck...

1836
01:49:06,499 --> 01:49:07,918
a dab of racism...

1837
01:49:08,084 --> 01:49:09,169
a splash of diabetes...

1838
01:49:09,336 --> 01:49:11,671
and a wheelbarrow
full of stage four cancer?

1839
01:49:12,088 --> 01:49:14,257
Answer: a family.

1840
01:49:14,841 --> 01:49:17,844
See? I didn't lie
what kind of film this was.

1841
01:49:18,011 --> 01:49:19,377
If there's anything
you take away today...

1842
01:49:19,387 --> 01:49:22,432
other than the need to Google,
"What the fuck is dubstep?"...

1843
01:49:22,515 --> 01:49:25,310
it's that we all need
to belong to someone.

1844
01:51:22,510 --> 01:51:24,262
How something
so small generates

1845
01:51:24,346 --> 01:51:26,181
enough energy
to reverse time is...

1846
01:51:26,264 --> 01:51:28,224
Oh, just fix it, Eleven,

1847
01:51:28,308 --> 01:51:30,352
or I'll take it
to the Genius Bar.

1848
01:51:30,602 --> 01:51:31,843
Cable's gonna kill you
when he finds out.

1849
01:51:31,853 --> 01:51:32,854
Never heard of him.

1850
01:51:32,937 --> 01:51:34,397
Why do you think
I'm helping him?

1851
01:51:35,690 --> 01:51:37,901
The Lord works
in mysterious ways,

1852
01:51:37,984 --> 01:51:39,986
don't I? A good day.

1853
01:51:40,945 --> 01:51:41,946
Bye, Wade!

1854
01:51:42,447 --> 01:51:43,448
Bye, Yukio!

1855
01:51:44,783 --> 01:51:46,993
That was probably a bad idea.

1856
01:51:47,327 --> 01:51:48,453
What have we done?

1857
01:51:49,245 --> 01:51:51,247
(IF I COULD TURN BACK TIME
PLAYING)

1858
01:52:06,846 --> 01:52:08,723
I hope we sharpened
the cream cheese spreader.

1859
01:52:19,067 --> 01:52:20,527
I'll be right back!

1860
01:52:22,487 --> 01:52:25,031
We're definitely naming
our kid Cher!

1861
01:52:25,407 --> 01:52:26,408
Whoo!

1862
01:52:28,243 --> 01:52:29,494
Peter!

1863
01:52:29,661 --> 01:52:31,037
Whoo! X-Force!

1864
01:52:31,246 --> 01:52:33,456
Walk away! Just walk away!

1865
01:52:34,290 --> 01:52:35,500
But we're X-Force!

1866
01:52:35,583 --> 01:52:37,043
Nope! We're not,
there's no X-Force!

1867
01:52:37,293 --> 01:52:40,130
All right, well,
this has been pretty scary!

1868
01:52:40,713 --> 01:52:42,966
Go home, Sugarbear.
Go home.

1869
01:52:43,591 --> 01:52:46,177
Okay. Will you give
Domino my email?

1870
01:52:55,395 --> 01:52:57,188
Wade, is that you?

1871
01:52:59,524 --> 01:53:00,859
I guess Stryker finally

1872
01:53:00,942 --> 01:53:02,235
figured out
how to shut you up.

1873
01:53:08,908 --> 01:53:11,995
Hey! It's me!
Don't scratch!

1874
01:53:12,162 --> 01:53:14,080
Just cleaning up
the timelines!

1875
01:53:19,002 --> 01:53:20,295
Love you!

1876
01:53:22,755 --> 01:53:24,048
Welcome to
the big leagues, kid.

1877
01:53:31,556 --> 01:53:33,391
You're welcome, Canada.