The commander of Chinese Army troops calls to the US and proposes war:
Hello Americans, we want to declare you a war, what do you say?
American: At this moment it is not possible, our troops are in Iraq and Afghanistan, and we are also doing "stabilizing" in Syria, so for economic reasons, it is off, call Russia, I think they will agree.
The Chinese call to Russia and start talking in the same way:
Hello brothers Russians, we want to declare war for you, what do you say?
Russian: At present, there is no such possibility, we are not very clear about the situation with Georgia, Chechnya, Ukraine, Syria and Turkey, so there is no way for new armed conflicts.
Chinese: Who can we fight with at last?
Russian: Call to Poland!
Chinese: Where? To Poland? What country is that?
Russian: Yes, it is our neighbors, a very brave nation, about 40 million people, with a rich history of war. They will not refuse you.
Chinese: Okay, let's be Poland.
Chinese call to Poland and start the conversation: - Hello, call from China. We Chinese want to declare war on you!
Pole: To us?
Chinese: - Yes, to you Poles
Pole: And how many are you?
Chinese: 3 billion
Pole: HOW MANY!?
Chinese: 3 billion
Chinese smiles and thinks "they are giving up"
Pole: - Oh, fucking man! where we will bury you all?