Eng a simple favor

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1
00:01:47,609 --> 00:01:49,652
<i>Hi, moms, Stephanie here.</i>

2
00:01:49,819 --> 00:01:51,196
<i>Today, as promised,</i>

3
00:01:51,362 --> 00:01:53,281
<i>I am gonna share my zucchini</i>

4
00:01:53,448 --> 00:01:54,824
<i>chocolate chip cookie recipe.</i>

5
00:01:54,991 --> 00:01:56,826
<i>But first, many of you</i>

6
00:01:56,993 --> 00:01:58,161
<i>have asked me for an update</i>

7
00:01:58,328 --> 00:01:59,704
<i>on the Emily situation.</i>

8
00:01:59,871 --> 00:02:00,955
<i>And for those of you</i>

9
00:02:01,122 --> 00:02:02,332
<i>who are new to my vlog,</i>

10
00:02:02,499 --> 00:02:04,459
<i>you should know my best friend</i>

11
00:02:04,626 --> 00:02:06,044
<i>Emily is missing right now.</i>

12
00:02:06,211 --> 00:02:07,796
<i>She asked me a simple favor -</i>

13
00:02:07,962 --> 00:02:09,005
<i>to pick up her son Nicky</i>

14
00:02:09,172 --> 00:02:10,215
<i>from school...</i>

15
00:02:10,381 --> 00:02:13,384
...which was five days ago

16
00:02:13,551 --> 00:02:16,137
and she hasn't
come back yet, so...

17
00:02:22,393 --> 00:02:24,103
I'm sorry.
We're all really worried.

18
00:02:24,270 --> 00:02:25,897
And I'm doing everything I can

19
00:02:26,064 --> 00:02:27,732
to help the police
track her down.

20
00:02:29,442 --> 00:02:32,403
But I'm realizing I don't know
her as well as I thought I did.

21
00:02:32,570 --> 00:02:34,155
It's like my mom used to say,

22
00:02:34,322 --> 00:02:35,990
God rest her soul, um,

23
00:02:36,157 --> 00:02:38,034
"Secrets are like margarine,

24
00:02:38,201 --> 00:02:40,662
"easy to spread,
bad for the heart."

25
00:02:40,829 --> 00:02:42,372
But as different as we are,

26
00:02:42,539 --> 00:02:44,415
I do consider Emily
my best friend.

27
00:02:44,582 --> 00:02:47,126
She is this wonderful,
elegant person.

28
00:02:47,293 --> 00:02:48,973
And our sons
brought us together, actually.

29
00:02:50,129 --> 00:02:52,215
<i>Well, you know,
for our new friends,</i>

30
00:02:52,382 --> 00:02:53,967
<i>I'll just start
from the beginning.</i>

31
00:02:54,133 --> 00:02:57,971
<i>I met Emily
a few weeks ago at school.</i>

32
00:02:58,137 --> 00:02:59,597
<i>It was
International Cuisine Day</i>

33
00:02:59,764 --> 00:03:01,391
<i>in my son's first grade class.</i>

34
00:03:01,558 --> 00:03:03,184
<i>And once again, I drew Sweden,</i>

35
00:03:03,351 --> 00:03:05,937
<i>which meant my famous
meatless meatballs.</i>

36
00:03:06,104 --> 00:03:09,190
You're all dead!
I killed everyone!

37
00:03:09,357 --> 00:03:11,317
Not me. I came back to life.

38
00:03:11,484 --> 00:03:15,154
I want to thank everyone who
participated in today's feast.

39
00:03:15,321 --> 00:03:16,364
Yay!

40
00:03:16,531 --> 00:03:18,533
Class, haven't we
learned so much

41
00:03:18,700 --> 00:03:20,326
about food
from all around the world?

42
00:03:20,493 --> 00:03:21,703
Yes!

43
00:03:21,870 --> 00:03:23,705
Give your parents
a big round of applause.

44
00:03:23,872 --> 00:03:25,206
That looks great!

45
00:03:25,373 --> 00:03:26,958
- Big smile!
- Oh, my gosh.

46
00:03:27,125 --> 00:03:29,043
Where does she get
all that energy from?

47
00:03:29,210 --> 00:03:30,437
What are you looking at?

48
00:03:30,461 --> 00:03:31,939
I think there's crystal meth
in those meatballs.

49
00:03:31,963 --> 00:03:33,883
Oh, parents, there's
a sign-up sheet on the board

50
00:03:33,923 --> 00:03:36,676
for our Fun Fair next week.

51
00:03:36,843 --> 00:03:40,471
Uh, please, Stephanie, don't
sign up for more than one job.

52
00:03:40,638 --> 00:03:43,516
I'm not sure everyone else
has had a chance to volunteer.

53
00:03:46,436 --> 00:03:48,236
Miles, sweetie, sweetie,
maybe just be careful

54
00:03:48,271 --> 00:03:50,857
with your fingers
with Nicky's truck, okay?

55
00:03:51,024 --> 00:03:52,864
- Has Nicky's mom volunteered?
- Emily? Please.

56
00:03:52,984 --> 00:03:55,304
She wouldn't know a sign-up
sheet if it bit her on the ass.

57
00:03:55,445 --> 00:03:58,072
God, it'd be my dream
to run PR for Dennis Nylon.

58
00:03:58,239 --> 00:04:00,116
Can you imagine all
the free shit she must get?

59
00:04:00,283 --> 00:04:01,367
- I know.
- Okay.

60
00:04:01,534 --> 00:04:02,934
I'm crossing myself
off decorations.

61
00:04:03,077 --> 00:04:05,397
I can leave that open for Emily,
then if she can't make it,

62
00:04:05,538 --> 00:04:07,338
I can still bring
my balloons and helium tank.

63
00:04:07,373 --> 00:04:10,126
Please tell me you don't
actually own a helium tank.

64
00:04:10,293 --> 00:04:12,587
I think lots of people
own helium tanks, Stacy,

65
00:04:12,754 --> 00:04:14,339
'cause kids love balloons.

66
00:04:14,505 --> 00:04:16,758
Do you not have one?
You a bad parent?

67
00:04:16,925 --> 00:04:18,551
I'm kidding.

68
00:04:18,718 --> 00:04:20,136
We're terrible parents.

69
00:04:20,303 --> 00:04:22,805
I think it's a perfect
plan, Stephanie.

70
00:04:22,972 --> 00:04:25,266
Good thinking, Stephanie.

71
00:04:27,435 --> 00:04:29,145
Hey, Smooch!

72
00:04:29,312 --> 00:04:31,356
Oh, great work
today, Smooch.

73
00:04:31,522 --> 00:04:32,690
Smooch?

74
00:04:32,857 --> 00:04:34,651
- Thanks a lot, Mom.
- Oh.

75
00:04:34,817 --> 00:04:36,653
Can me and Miles
have a play date today?

76
00:04:36,819 --> 00:04:38,196
Um, I don't know, sweetie.

77
00:04:38,363 --> 00:04:39,822
I think we need
to ask your mommy

78
00:04:39,989 --> 00:04:41,407
and she's still in the city.

79
00:04:41,574 --> 00:04:42,659
She's right there.

80
00:05:06,641 --> 00:05:08,059
Come here, little dude.

81
00:05:08,226 --> 00:05:10,895
Oh, my baby!

82
00:05:11,062 --> 00:05:13,731
Look at your shirt. Did any
food make it into your mouth?

83
00:05:13,898 --> 00:05:15,692
Ask her, Nicky! Ask her!

84
00:05:15,858 --> 00:05:18,152
- Ask me what?
- We want a play date.

85
00:05:18,319 --> 00:05:20,196
Oh, we can't, Mommy
already has a play date

86
00:05:20,363 --> 00:05:22,156
with a symphony
of anti-depressants.

87
00:05:22,323 --> 00:05:23,992
- Let's go.
- Play date! Play date!

88
00:05:24,158 --> 00:05:25,761
- Play date!
- Baby, please don't do this.

89
00:05:25,785 --> 00:05:28,246
I gotta go. Come on.
I got a ton of work to do.

90
00:05:28,413 --> 00:05:30,665
- You don't let me have any fun.
- That's not true.

91
00:05:30,832 --> 00:05:32,667
I let you tear my labia

92
00:05:32,834 --> 00:05:34,836
as you exited my body,
so you're welcome.

93
00:05:38,089 --> 00:05:40,717
Do you drink? I need a martini.

94
00:05:40,883 --> 00:05:43,720
Oh! Uh... Yeah. I like martinis.

95
00:05:43,886 --> 00:05:46,472
I haven't had one in a long
time. They're good, though.

96
00:05:46,639 --> 00:05:48,474
I had one that was, like,
mostly chocolate

97
00:05:48,641 --> 00:05:50,226
and I was like,
"Alcohol and chocolate?

98
00:05:50,393 --> 00:05:51,894
"Oh, mom life!"

99
00:05:52,061 --> 00:05:54,897
Oh, okay. No play date.
Come on, kid, let's go.

100
00:05:55,064 --> 00:05:59,444
- Then I'm staying here.
- Christ, he's fucking stubborn.

101
00:05:59,610 --> 00:06:01,630
It doesn't have to have
the chocolate in it, like...

102
00:06:01,654 --> 00:06:05,033
Okay, I don't think
I'm gonna win this, so, um...

103
00:06:05,199 --> 00:06:08,161
I mean, do you wanna come over
for a beverage of any kind?

104
00:06:08,327 --> 00:06:09,996
I think I could use some backup.

105
00:06:10,163 --> 00:06:11,748
That's me? I'm backup?

106
00:06:11,914 --> 00:06:13,332
Does your kid drink, maybe?

107
00:06:13,499 --> 00:06:15,477
I mean, it's never too early
to start teaching them.

108
00:06:15,501 --> 00:06:17,503
I think you're joking,
but great.

109
00:06:17,670 --> 00:06:19,047
- Sweetie...
- Hey, you, let's go.

110
00:06:19,213 --> 00:06:20,524
Let's get your
umbrella out, okay?

111
00:06:20,548 --> 00:06:22,216
'Cause we're gonna
go out in the rain.

112
00:06:23,259 --> 00:06:25,299
What on Earth are
those two gonna talk about?

113
00:06:25,386 --> 00:06:28,389
Emily's gonna eat
poor Stephanie alive.

114
00:06:28,556 --> 00:06:30,892
At least she'd
be eating something.

115
00:06:31,059 --> 00:06:33,978
What is your problem?

116
00:06:41,194 --> 00:06:43,780
Go show him
your room. Go.

117
00:06:43,946 --> 00:06:45,406
Oh, please don't run!

118
00:06:45,573 --> 00:06:47,450
Be safe please!

119
00:06:49,494 --> 00:06:50,661
Cute socks.

120
00:06:50,828 --> 00:06:52,914
Oh, thanks!

121
00:06:53,081 --> 00:06:54,721
They're from Target.
It's 10 bucks a pack.

122
00:06:54,791 --> 00:06:56,167
- It's so great, Target.
- Yeah.

123
00:06:56,334 --> 00:06:57,710
They have other animals.

124
00:06:57,877 --> 00:06:59,480
They have these
squirrel ones that are cute,

125
00:06:59,504 --> 00:07:02,423
they have chipmunks, beavers...

126
00:07:02,590 --> 00:07:05,927
That's so... lifelike.

127
00:07:06,094 --> 00:07:08,221
Yeah. Do you like it?

128
00:07:08,387 --> 00:07:11,224
How could you not?
It's, um...

129
00:07:11,390 --> 00:07:12,767
Right?

130
00:07:12,934 --> 00:07:15,061
Yeah, I used to dye my hair.
I get bored easily.

131
00:07:15,228 --> 00:07:16,938
Yeah. Um...

132
00:07:17,105 --> 00:07:19,565
- Did you paint that?
- No. No, no.

133
00:07:19,732 --> 00:07:21,400
It's made by an
almost-famous painter.

134
00:07:21,567 --> 00:07:23,170
From the East Village.

135
00:07:23,194 --> 00:07:24,904
My life is littered
with almost-somebodies.

136
00:07:25,071 --> 00:07:26,614
I did some art modeling
in school

137
00:07:26,781 --> 00:07:28,324
to pay my way through.

138
00:07:28,491 --> 00:07:30,243
Then the pervert
got obsessed with me.

139
00:07:30,409 --> 00:07:31,994
Oh, well,
that happens, yeah.

140
00:07:32,161 --> 00:07:33,538
So I stole the painting,
you know,

141
00:07:33,704 --> 00:07:35,224
thinking it'd be worth
something someday.

142
00:07:35,248 --> 00:07:37,542
But no.
No such luck.

143
00:07:39,877 --> 00:07:41,671
This house is incredible.

144
00:07:41,838 --> 00:07:43,256
Thanks.
It's a fucking money pit.

145
00:07:43,422 --> 00:07:45,716
- Oopsy.
- Hmm?

146
00:07:45,883 --> 00:07:47,510
Oh, sorry, it's, um,

147
00:07:47,677 --> 00:07:49,554
what we say at my house
when someone swears.

148
00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:51,097
It's a force of habit.

149
00:07:51,264 --> 00:07:54,225
We have an... an 'oopsy' jar
in the pantry.

150
00:07:54,392 --> 00:07:58,187
It's like, you know, put
a quarter in for every bad word.

151
00:07:58,354 --> 00:07:59,981
You should smash
the 'oopsy' jar.

152
00:08:00,148 --> 00:08:02,984
- It might change your life.
- Yeah. Ugh! Sorry.

153
00:08:03,151 --> 00:08:05,027
Don't say sorry.
You don't need to do that.

154
00:08:05,194 --> 00:08:07,613
You don't need to apologize.
It's a fucked-up female habit.

155
00:08:07,780 --> 00:08:09,580
You don't need to be sorry
for anything, ever.

156
00:08:09,699 --> 00:08:11,826
That's... that's true.
That's great advice.

157
00:08:11,993 --> 00:08:13,327
Thank you.

158
00:08:14,704 --> 00:08:16,122
I love this music,
by the way.

159
00:08:16,289 --> 00:08:17,665
Thanks. Yeah.

160
00:08:17,832 --> 00:08:19,709
Makes me forget
I'm stuck in this shithole.

161
00:08:19,876 --> 00:08:22,461
- I'm gonna go get booze.
- Great!

162
00:08:49,197 --> 00:08:51,699
I was really caught up
in the ambiance.

163
00:08:54,076 --> 00:08:56,495
Come on,
give me a little more.

164
00:08:56,662 --> 00:08:59,123
Ooh!

165
00:08:59,290 --> 00:09:01,334
No, I liked it.
I may join you later.

166
00:09:01,500 --> 00:09:04,587
Oh! You must love cooking
in this kitchen.

167
00:09:04,754 --> 00:09:06,756
No, not really. Sean does.

168
00:09:06,923 --> 00:09:10,176
I think it's probably just
an excuse to avoid writing.

169
00:09:10,343 --> 00:09:12,053
- Your husband's a writer?
- No.

170
00:09:12,220 --> 00:09:13,596
He wrote a book 10 years ago.

171
00:09:13,763 --> 00:09:15,223
It made him
the toast of the town.

172
00:09:15,389 --> 00:09:18,184
I actually had to stalk him to
make him fall in love with me.

173
00:09:18,351 --> 00:09:20,811
But then nothing. He never
wrote anything ever again.

174
00:09:20,978 --> 00:09:23,356
- It's the old bait-and-switch.
- What was the book?

175
00:09:23,522 --> 00:09:25,149
It's called
'Darkness at Dawn'.

176
00:09:25,316 --> 00:09:28,027
Oh, my gosh! I read that
in my book club.

177
00:09:28,194 --> 00:09:29,314
- Really?
- This was... Yeah.

178
00:09:29,445 --> 00:09:31,285
This was back when
I first became a single mom.

179
00:09:31,405 --> 00:09:33,765
I joined this book club and
that was the first book we read.

180
00:09:33,908 --> 00:09:35,493
It's... Oh, it's so impressive.

181
00:09:35,660 --> 00:09:37,245
So you're divorced, then?

182
00:09:37,411 --> 00:09:39,580
Widowed.

183
00:09:41,374 --> 00:09:43,084
Do you mind if I ask
how he died?

184
00:09:52,385 --> 00:09:54,262
Car accident.

185
00:09:54,428 --> 00:09:56,389
- Oh. How awful.
- Yeah.

186
00:09:57,473 --> 00:09:59,558
My brother Chris was in
the passenger seat, so...

187
00:09:59,725 --> 00:10:01,185
You're kidding.

188
00:10:01,352 --> 00:10:02,728
One fell swoop, and the two

189
00:10:02,895 --> 00:10:04,455
most important men
in my life were gone.

190
00:10:04,522 --> 00:10:06,983
Normally, sad stories
don't get to me.

191
00:10:07,149 --> 00:10:09,568
But that one... that one did.
That was brutal.

192
00:10:09,735 --> 00:10:11,362
I don't talk about it a lot,

193
00:10:11,529 --> 00:10:12,905
especially with people
I just met.

194
00:10:13,072 --> 00:10:14,991
I'm really sorry.
Oh! Mmm...

195
00:10:15,157 --> 00:10:16,277
Baby, if you
apologize again,

196
00:10:16,409 --> 00:10:18,129
I'm gonna have to slap
the sorry out of you.

197
00:10:18,244 --> 00:10:19,870
Yeah. That's...
I'm not sorry.

198
00:10:20,037 --> 00:10:21,747
That's a hard habit
to break, though.

199
00:10:21,914 --> 00:10:23,124
It is.

200
00:10:23,291 --> 00:10:24,875
So, are you dating anyone?

201
00:10:25,042 --> 00:10:27,461
No. Slim pickings in Warfield.

202
00:10:27,628 --> 00:10:30,089
Well, you are an hour
and a half outside the city.

203
00:10:30,256 --> 00:10:33,467
I'm not gonna date someone
from the city.

204
00:10:33,634 --> 00:10:35,303
I tried eHarmony for a while,

205
00:10:35,469 --> 00:10:36,949
and then that
mother of three wound up

206
00:10:37,096 --> 00:10:38,472
with her head
in the trash can.

207
00:10:38,639 --> 00:10:40,099
You remember that?
And I... Ugh.

208
00:10:40,266 --> 00:10:42,059
I said, "No thank you. Delete."

209
00:10:42,226 --> 00:10:43,602
What?

210
00:10:43,769 --> 00:10:46,439
Come on, baby.
You're too sexy to give up.

211
00:10:46,605 --> 00:10:49,775
That's nice.
I don't know. Um...

212
00:10:49,942 --> 00:10:51,777
If your head's gonna
end up in a trash can,

213
00:10:51,944 --> 00:10:53,612
your head's gonna end up
in a trash can.

214
00:10:53,779 --> 00:10:56,198
I just didn't think I would
end up a single mom,

215
00:10:56,365 --> 00:10:58,200
struggling to make ends meet.

216
00:10:58,367 --> 00:10:59,847
I mean, my husband
had life insurance,

217
00:10:59,910 --> 00:11:01,287
thank goodness, but not a lot.

218
00:11:01,454 --> 00:11:03,134
I put half of that away
for Miles' college,

219
00:11:03,164 --> 00:11:05,958
and so, with that coming in,

220
00:11:06,125 --> 00:11:08,794
the money still
runs out in 2020.

221
00:11:08,961 --> 00:11:10,921
- Thank God for life insurance.
- Yeah.

222
00:11:11,088 --> 00:11:13,358
My husband doesn't have anything
if it makes you feel better,

223
00:11:13,382 --> 00:11:15,676
but he does spend like
he's the man of the hour.

224
00:11:17,053 --> 00:11:18,429
Fucking have to pay
for everything.

225
00:11:18,596 --> 00:11:19,972
We can't even sell this house.

226
00:11:20,139 --> 00:11:21,599
We bought it during
the bubble and...

227
00:11:21,766 --> 00:11:23,267
I love your house.

228
00:11:23,434 --> 00:11:25,436
Don't dream of selling it.

229
00:11:25,603 --> 00:11:27,188
If I were you, I'd just...

230
00:11:27,355 --> 00:11:29,690
...I'd just bask in this kitchen
all day long.

231
00:11:30,983 --> 00:11:33,361
Then you should move in.

232
00:11:33,527 --> 00:11:35,488
Here. Cheers
to being house poor.

233
00:11:35,654 --> 00:11:37,281
Yes, cheers!

234
00:11:39,909 --> 00:11:41,827
Mmm... What?

235
00:11:41,994 --> 00:11:43,371
That's, uh...

236
00:11:43,537 --> 00:11:45,140
It's just another one
of my bad decisions.

237
00:11:45,164 --> 00:11:47,124
Yeah.
It's great.

238
00:11:47,291 --> 00:11:48,751
Is that a charity symbol?

239
00:11:48,918 --> 00:11:52,046
Yeah, Mother Teresa and I are,
like, the same person, so...

240
00:11:52,213 --> 00:11:54,340
It's a nice contrast
with your ring.

241
00:11:54,507 --> 00:11:56,300
Thanks. Yeah, this is
a family heirloom.

242
00:11:56,467 --> 00:11:58,677
It belonged to Sean's
great-grandmom and then his mom

243
00:11:58,844 --> 00:12:00,930
and she insisted that
I have it, so, you know...

244
00:12:01,097 --> 00:12:02,848
Whose Subaru
is blocking the garage?

245
00:12:03,015 --> 00:12:04,683
- Speak of the devil.
- Oh, that's mine.

246
00:12:04,850 --> 00:12:06,477
- I'm sorry...
- You're what?

247
00:12:06,644 --> 00:12:07,937
Mmm!

248
00:12:08,104 --> 00:12:10,064
Your wife is trying to get me
to stop apologizing.

249
00:12:10,106 --> 00:12:11,899
Well, maybe you can
get her to start.

250
00:12:12,066 --> 00:12:13,109
Ooh!

251
00:12:13,275 --> 00:12:14,443
- Hi.
- Hi.

252
00:12:14,610 --> 00:12:16,278
- Hi.
- Hi.

253
00:12:16,445 --> 00:12:18,280
Oh, martini time?

254
00:12:18,447 --> 00:12:20,408
- I'm sure it's 5:00 somewhere.
- Oh, my God.

255
00:12:20,574 --> 00:12:22,534
Did you just come up
with that cliche by yourself?

256
00:12:22,576 --> 00:12:26,080
- He's such a brilliant writer.
- I have to say, you inspire me.

257
00:12:26,247 --> 00:12:27,623
Not enough, apparently.

258
00:12:27,790 --> 00:12:30,143
"Why, thank you very much
for going to the grocery store,"

259
00:12:30,167 --> 00:12:32,920
he said, dripping with sarcasm.

260
00:12:33,087 --> 00:12:36,674
Oh, I figured you'd want a break
from not writing ever.

261
00:12:36,841 --> 00:12:38,217
Hah!

262
00:12:38,384 --> 00:12:41,137
With that fatal blow,
she won the joust.

263
00:12:41,303 --> 00:12:43,180
- Well played.
- Thank you.

264
00:12:43,347 --> 00:12:44,932
- This is Stephanie.
- Hi, Stephanie.

265
00:12:45,099 --> 00:12:46,684
Her kid goes to Warfield
with our kid.

266
00:12:46,851 --> 00:12:48,727
She read your book.

267
00:12:48,894 --> 00:12:50,438
I did. I loved it!

268
00:12:50,604 --> 00:12:52,004
It reminded me
of William Thackeray.

269
00:12:52,148 --> 00:12:53,858
- She really read it.
- Wow.

270
00:12:54,024 --> 00:12:56,360
Not many people trot out
Thackeray as a reference.

271
00:12:56,527 --> 00:12:58,237
Oh, I was an English
major at Barnard.

272
00:12:58,404 --> 00:12:59,780
It was pre-mommy brain.

273
00:12:59,947 --> 00:13:01,587
I did my thesis
on 'The Canterbury Tales'.

274
00:13:01,657 --> 00:13:03,534
"And with that word
Arcite gan espye,

275
00:13:03,701 --> 00:13:05,703
"whereas this lady
roamed to and fro."

276
00:13:05,870 --> 00:13:09,165
"And with that sight,
her beauty hurt him so."

277
00:13:10,833 --> 00:13:12,501
I'm sorry, do you guys
wanna get a room?

278
00:13:12,668 --> 00:13:14,062
Am I breaking this up?

279
00:13:14,086 --> 00:13:15,254
I like that.

280
00:13:15,421 --> 00:13:17,423
Hey, do you want me
to make you a drink?

281
00:13:17,590 --> 00:13:18,966
No. I'm good.
You guys enjoy.

282
00:13:19,133 --> 00:13:20,573
I'm gonna head upstairs
for a shower.

283
00:13:20,676 --> 00:13:22,178
Okay.

284
00:13:22,344 --> 00:13:23,846
Nice to meet you, Sharon.

285
00:13:24,013 --> 00:13:26,807
Y... yeah. It's lovely
to meet you.

286
00:13:26,974 --> 00:13:29,101
He's terrible with names.

287
00:13:29,268 --> 00:13:31,562
Oh, yeah. I mean,
Stephanie's crazy.

288
00:13:31,729 --> 00:13:33,772
Like, P-H? What?

289
00:13:33,939 --> 00:13:36,775
You guys are
such a cute couple.

290
00:13:36,942 --> 00:13:38,486
Yeah, we're on the verge
of bankruptcy,

291
00:13:38,652 --> 00:13:40,488
and we can't find
a decent nanny

292
00:13:40,654 --> 00:13:42,948
in all of Connecticut, so...

293
00:13:43,115 --> 00:13:44,450
Drowning.

294
00:13:44,617 --> 00:13:46,285
If you ever need me
to pick up Nicky

295
00:13:46,452 --> 00:13:48,078
after school
and take him to my house,

296
00:13:48,245 --> 00:13:51,081
even if you just need
the night off...

297
00:13:51,248 --> 00:13:54,668
- You'd do that for me?
- Yeah. Anything.

298
00:14:03,010 --> 00:14:04,386
<i>Hi, moms, Stephanie here.</i>

299
00:14:04,553 --> 00:14:05,804
<i>If it's your first visit</i>

300
00:14:05,971 --> 00:14:07,681
<i>to the vlog, a hearty welcome.</i>

301
00:14:08,724 --> 00:14:10,059
<i>Today's theme is friendship.</i>

302
00:14:10,226 --> 00:14:11,352
<i>So today I thought</i>

303
00:14:11,519 --> 00:14:12,937
<i>we would make...</i>

304
00:14:14,188 --> 00:14:15,648
<i>...friendship bracelets!</i>

305
00:14:17,107 --> 00:14:19,568
<i>I have never understood
these silly, hurtful divisions</i>

306
00:14:19,735 --> 00:14:21,862
<i>between working moms
and stay-at-home moms.</i>

307
00:14:22,029 --> 00:14:23,614
<i>Honestly, I have
found it difficult</i>

308
00:14:23,781 --> 00:14:25,241
<i>to make friends with either.</i>

309
00:14:25,407 --> 00:14:27,868
Emily! Hi. What's up, lady?

310
00:14:28,035 --> 00:14:29,515
<i>Hey, I was
wondering if I could</i>

311
00:14:29,662 --> 00:14:31,539
<i>take you up on your offer
to pick up Nicky.</i>

312
00:14:31,705 --> 00:14:33,374
<i>I'm in a meeting
with no end in sight.</i>

313
00:14:33,541 --> 00:14:34,917
Uh, yeah,
I'm happy to help.

314
00:14:35,084 --> 00:14:37,711
Actually, I just got this
jumbo set of Perler beads...

315
00:14:37,878 --> 00:14:39,505
<i>Yeah, yeah, okay.
You're the best.</i>

316
00:14:39,672 --> 00:14:42,341
Okay. Um, just does Nicky
have any dietary restrictions?

317
00:14:42,508 --> 00:14:45,553
<i>Yeah, just don't feed him
shit he doesn't like. Thanks.</i>

318
00:14:45,719 --> 00:14:48,013
Don't feed... Okay.

319
00:14:48,180 --> 00:14:50,724
Oh, my God, she's so funny.

320
00:14:50,891 --> 00:14:52,059
Whoo!

321
00:14:53,686 --> 00:14:56,188
No, no, no, Dennis,
this is what's gonna happen.

322
00:14:56,355 --> 00:14:59,024
I'm gonna do my job,
you're gonna take some pills,

323
00:14:59,191 --> 00:15:01,193
and then I'm gonna
call you later, okay?

324
00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:04,321
What? Oh, oh, I can't hear you!
I'm in an elevator.

325
00:15:04,488 --> 00:15:05,906
I am hungry for flesh!

326
00:15:10,369 --> 00:15:13,539
Oh, just Darth Mommy.

327
00:15:13,706 --> 00:15:15,457
It's this game we...
It's really silly.

328
00:15:15,624 --> 00:15:17,084
Honestly, his dad
was much better

329
00:15:17,251 --> 00:15:18,544
at the roughhousing stuff.

330
00:15:18,711 --> 00:15:20,546
- Don't do that.
- Do what?

331
00:15:20,713 --> 00:15:22,065
Don't denigrate
your good parenting

332
00:15:22,089 --> 00:15:23,567
to comfort me
for my shitty parenting.

333
00:15:23,591 --> 00:15:25,259
Oh, gosh,
no, Emily, that's...

334
00:15:25,426 --> 00:15:26,802
That's not
what I was doing at all.

335
00:15:26,969 --> 00:15:28,929
- I think you're a super mom.
- Oh, no, you don't.

336
00:15:29,054 --> 00:15:30,222
Come on, your kid had

337
00:15:30,389 --> 00:15:31,825
lobster bisque for lunch
the other day.

338
00:15:31,849 --> 00:15:33,529
I'm lucky if I remember
my kid's lunch box.

339
00:15:33,684 --> 00:15:34,935
Honestly, it's fine.

340
00:15:35,102 --> 00:15:37,730
The nicest thing I could do for
Nicky is blow my brains out.

341
00:15:40,941 --> 00:15:42,359
I'm kidding.

342
00:15:42,526 --> 00:15:44,320
Right. Yeah. Well...

343
00:15:44,486 --> 00:15:47,656
You do work in the city, so...

344
00:15:47,823 --> 00:15:50,117
Oh, my gosh!
Oh, my gosh!

345
00:15:55,664 --> 00:15:57,041
Did you just
take my picture?

346
00:15:57,207 --> 00:15:58,917
I'm yearbook mom.

347
00:15:59,084 --> 00:16:00,836
Did I ask you
to take my picture?

348
00:16:01,003 --> 00:16:02,838
- Erase it.
- Oh, you look really chic.

349
00:16:03,005 --> 00:16:04,381
It's just for
"Faces and Places."

350
00:16:04,548 --> 00:16:05,716
Just for the other parents.

351
00:16:05,883 --> 00:16:08,844
Erase it or I'll slap a fucking
injunction on your yearbook.

352
00:16:09,011 --> 00:16:10,763
- Do you understand?
- Yeah. Okay.

353
00:16:10,929 --> 00:16:12,514
Yeah, it's gone.

354
00:16:12,681 --> 00:16:14,141
Whoa. Bye-bye.

355
00:16:14,308 --> 00:16:15,684
Don't do that again.

356
00:16:15,851 --> 00:16:17,394
Oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry.

357
00:16:17,561 --> 00:16:20,189
Or I didn't mean
to offend you.

358
00:16:20,356 --> 00:16:22,983
Um, I'm sure that stuff's really
sensitive in your industry.

359
00:16:23,150 --> 00:16:25,277
Oh, no. It's all good.

360
00:16:25,444 --> 00:16:26,630
I'm probably not
the kind of person

361
00:16:26,654 --> 00:16:27,756
you're normally friends with.

362
00:16:27,780 --> 00:16:30,199
Oh, you do not wanna be
friends with me. Trust me.

363
00:16:30,366 --> 00:16:33,327
Dennis, sweetie,
let's try this again. Um...

364
00:16:33,494 --> 00:16:35,913
Okay, I want you to go home
and chill the fuck out

365
00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:38,248
and don't ever call me
again. Bye.

366
00:16:39,375 --> 00:16:40,668
That's how
you talk to your boss?

367
00:16:40,834 --> 00:16:42,503
Yeah. You know,
you gotta go right at 'em.

368
00:16:42,670 --> 00:16:44,171
Especially the powerful ones

369
00:16:44,338 --> 00:16:46,006
or they will fuck you
in the face.

370
00:16:46,173 --> 00:16:48,592
Yeah, I get that.

371
00:16:48,759 --> 00:16:51,345
Wanna get out of here?
Mommy needs a drink.

372
00:16:51,512 --> 00:16:54,264
Yeah. Totally.

373
00:16:54,431 --> 00:16:55,933
Nicky!

374
00:16:57,017 --> 00:16:58,644
Okay, guys,

375
00:16:58,811 --> 00:17:00,813
I guess we're going.

376
00:17:00,979 --> 00:17:03,440
Hey!
Nicky, come! Now!

377
00:17:03,607 --> 00:17:04,983
Okay. I have a gift for you.

378
00:17:05,150 --> 00:17:06,568
- Please close your eyes.
- Mmm-mmm.

379
00:17:06,735 --> 00:17:08,254
Yeah. Hold out your
tattooed hand, please.

380
00:17:08,278 --> 00:17:09,822
This is happening.
I'll wait all day.

381
00:17:09,988 --> 00:17:12,658
- Are you propositioning me?
- Yes.

382
00:17:12,825 --> 00:17:14,368
Here. I made that for you.

383
00:17:15,703 --> 00:17:16,954
You made this for me?

384
00:17:17,121 --> 00:17:19,281
Thought it would go with that
pinstriped suit you have.

385
00:17:19,373 --> 00:17:20,874
Really? That... that's nice.

386
00:17:21,041 --> 00:17:23,252
No one does stuff
like this for me.

387
00:17:23,419 --> 00:17:26,088
I used to watch those
'Bewitched' reruns on TV Land,

388
00:17:26,255 --> 00:17:27,840
and I always thought
it was so classy

389
00:17:28,006 --> 00:17:29,341
when Darrin
would come from work

390
00:17:29,508 --> 00:17:30,968
and Samantha
would fix him a martini.

391
00:17:31,135 --> 00:17:33,470
So every time we do this,
I feel so high-tone.

392
00:17:33,637 --> 00:17:36,640
My God, you're such a nerd.

393
00:17:36,807 --> 00:17:39,685
Ugh. Fuck this.
I need a real martini.

394
00:17:39,852 --> 00:17:41,228
- This one's not real?
- Nope.

395
00:17:41,395 --> 00:17:43,522
Sean and I had the real thing
at Dukes in London.

396
00:17:43,689 --> 00:17:45,482
The key - frozen gin.

397
00:17:45,649 --> 00:17:47,985
And a frozen glass. Here.

398
00:17:48,152 --> 00:17:49,737
Move, bad martini!

399
00:17:49,903 --> 00:17:51,530
Okay.

400
00:17:51,697 --> 00:17:53,115
Little bit of vermouth.

401
00:17:54,158 --> 00:17:56,285
Swirl it around, dump.

402
00:17:56,452 --> 00:17:59,079
Don't you dare
touch that wash cloth.

403
00:17:59,246 --> 00:18:01,665
Then add in the gin.

404
00:18:02,708 --> 00:18:03,876
Mmm.

405
00:18:04,042 --> 00:18:05,169
Cut your twist.

406
00:18:07,504 --> 00:18:10,507
Squeeze it, out side out.
Get a nice little mist.

407
00:18:10,674 --> 00:18:12,593
Lick the edges. Voila.

408
00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:14,344
And don't add
fucking ice. Ever.

409
00:18:14,511 --> 00:18:15,804
We don't like ice anymore?

410
00:18:15,971 --> 00:18:17,598
That shit ruins everything.

411
00:18:17,765 --> 00:18:19,308
Tough day at work?

412
00:18:19,475 --> 00:18:21,275
I just need to hit
the reset button sometimes.

413
00:18:21,351 --> 00:18:22,853
Well, cheers.

414
00:18:23,020 --> 00:18:24,563
Cheers.

415
00:18:33,864 --> 00:18:35,741
Can you make me
one of those?

416
00:18:37,075 --> 00:18:38,619
Do I look reset?

417
00:18:38,786 --> 00:18:40,329
Because I feel reset.

418
00:18:41,455 --> 00:18:43,457
You smell good.

419
00:18:43,624 --> 00:18:45,209
What is that perfume?
You smell so good.

420
00:18:45,375 --> 00:18:46,975
- I wish I smelled like you.
- Thank you.

421
00:18:47,085 --> 00:18:49,588
It's one of Dennis'.
I could get you one.

422
00:18:49,755 --> 00:18:51,965
I could get you a bathtub full,
if you'd like.

423
00:18:52,132 --> 00:18:56,845
I would
love... love it, girlfriend.

424
00:18:57,012 --> 00:18:58,388
Thank you.

425
00:18:58,555 --> 00:19:01,225
I'm really unhappy with myself
for taking that picture...

426
00:19:01,391 --> 00:19:03,151
Oh, my God, are you
still talking about that?

427
00:19:03,310 --> 00:19:04,621
- It was so rude.
- Honestly, please.

428
00:19:04,645 --> 00:19:06,372
- Please, stop. Forget about it.
- Just like, "Ooh, paparazzo."

429
00:19:06,396 --> 00:19:08,836
You are so nice. I have no idea
how you've survived this long.

430
00:19:08,899 --> 00:19:10,943
I'm not as nice
as you think, so...

431
00:19:11,109 --> 00:19:12,444
Are you baiting me?

432
00:19:12,611 --> 00:19:14,863
No! I'm just saying.

433
00:19:16,782 --> 00:19:19,201
- Everybody has a dark side.
- Mmm-hmm.

434
00:19:19,368 --> 00:19:21,208
Some of us are better
at hiding it than others.

435
00:19:21,370 --> 00:19:23,038
Wanna trade confessions?

436
00:19:23,205 --> 00:19:24,790
- No, no. No.
- Come on.

437
00:19:24,957 --> 00:19:27,292
What's the wildest thing
you've ever done?

438
00:19:27,459 --> 00:19:29,378
Oh, I... No, I don't know.
I shouldn't.

439
00:19:29,545 --> 00:19:31,046
You go first.

440
00:19:31,213 --> 00:19:32,840
Okay, um...

441
00:19:34,007 --> 00:19:36,552
A few months ago,
Sean and I had his TA over

442
00:19:36,718 --> 00:19:39,888
for dinner and drinks,
and a threesome.

443
00:19:41,557 --> 00:19:43,308
Was Sean jealous of him?

444
00:19:43,475 --> 00:19:44,768
Did I say it was a him?

445
00:19:47,688 --> 00:19:50,649
That's very cool, sis.
Very cool.

446
00:19:50,816 --> 00:19:52,192
- You okay?
- Yeah!

447
00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:54,528
- I don't mean to freak you out.
- Hello!

448
00:19:54,695 --> 00:19:56,297
I'm not freaked out.
Maybe you're freaked out.

449
00:19:56,321 --> 00:19:57,801
- Okay.
- Because I'm not freaked out.

450
00:19:57,948 --> 00:19:59,408
I'm cool. I'm laissez-faire.

451
00:19:59,575 --> 00:20:01,243
Okay, laissez-faire.

452
00:20:01,410 --> 00:20:03,096
I mean, you're not exactly
a sexual maverick.

453
00:20:03,120 --> 00:20:05,914
And that's fine. You know,
prudes are people too.

454
00:20:07,666 --> 00:20:09,918
I wanna know
your secret. Tell me.

455
00:20:11,128 --> 00:20:13,338
My dad died when I was
a senior in high school.

456
00:20:14,715 --> 00:20:16,550
<i>And...</i>

457
00:20:16,717 --> 00:20:18,844
<i>...this boy showed up
to the funeral.</i>

458
00:20:20,220 --> 00:20:22,264
<i>His name was Chris</i>

459
00:20:22,431 --> 00:20:24,766
<i>and I guess he was
the spitting image</i>

460
00:20:24,933 --> 00:20:26,977
<i>of my father
30 years younger.</i>

461
00:20:29,521 --> 00:20:33,525
<i>My mom thought
she saw a ghost. It...</i>

462
00:20:38,655 --> 00:20:40,741
<i>And it turned out
he was my half-brother.</i>

463
00:20:42,993 --> 00:20:45,871
That's your whole secret?
That your dad had an affair?

464
00:20:46,038 --> 00:20:47,247
No!

465
00:20:47,414 --> 00:20:49,499
Okay, can you
just tell me your secret?

466
00:20:49,666 --> 00:20:52,127
Come on,
spill it, dark side.

467
00:20:52,294 --> 00:20:54,004
So, Chris...

468
00:20:54,171 --> 00:20:57,382
<i>It was too late for him to drive
home, so he stayed over.</i>

469
00:20:57,549 --> 00:21:00,844
<i>We stayed up all night,
talking and...</i>

470
00:21:01,929 --> 00:21:03,138
<i>My dad was...</i>

471
00:21:03,305 --> 00:21:05,807
My dad was really the person
who understood me.

472
00:21:05,974 --> 00:21:07,684
And he was gone, so...

473
00:21:08,769 --> 00:21:12,564
I was alone-alone
for the first time.

474
00:21:12,731 --> 00:21:16,276
<i>But he sees me, you know?</i>

475
00:21:16,443 --> 00:21:18,070
<i>Like, he really sees me.</i>

476
00:21:19,279 --> 00:21:22,074
And we just stared at each
other for the longest time.

477
00:21:23,158 --> 00:21:25,661
You can't be too drunk in my
house not to finish the story.

478
00:21:25,827 --> 00:21:27,467
- What happened?
- Uh, yeah. Uh...

479
00:21:27,537 --> 00:21:29,456
Okay, so, I don't know,

480
00:21:29,623 --> 00:21:31,792
maybe it's not so racy
where you're from, but...

481
00:21:31,959 --> 00:21:33,752
Stop avoiding.
Tell me what happened.

482
00:21:33,919 --> 00:21:35,438
<i>We stood there
for the longest time.</i>

483
00:21:35,462 --> 00:21:36,588
<i>Uh-huh.</i>

484
00:21:36,755 --> 00:21:38,548
<i>So I went in to hug him and...</i>

485
00:21:38,715 --> 00:21:40,342
<i>...and we kissed.</i>

486
00:21:40,509 --> 00:21:42,803
<i>I know. It's so gross.</i>

487
00:21:42,970 --> 00:21:44,096
- The end?
- Yeah.

488
00:21:44,262 --> 00:21:45,448
- You just kissed?
- Yeah, we kissed.

489
00:21:45,472 --> 00:21:47,391
You just kissed your brother?

490
00:21:47,557 --> 00:21:49,393
<i>- Yeah. It's so...
- What?</i>

491
00:21:49,559 --> 00:21:51,311
<i>Ugh. It's so lurid.</i>

492
00:21:51,478 --> 00:21:53,398
<i>It's my half-brother.
It's not my brother, but...</i>

493
00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:54,999
<i>It's your half-brother,
though? Oh, okay.</i>

494
00:21:55,023 --> 00:21:56,751
<i>- It's my...
- Yeah, there's more.</i>

495
00:21:56,775 --> 00:21:58,336
<i>- No. No, there's not more.
- Mmm-hmm.</i>

496
00:21:58,360 --> 00:21:59,695
No, no. Yeah, there is.

497
00:21:59,861 --> 00:22:01,905
- So...
- You fucked him.

498
00:22:02,072 --> 00:22:03,240
What?!

499
00:22:03,407 --> 00:22:04,783
<i>Was he good?</i>

500
00:22:04,950 --> 00:22:07,035
<i>That is so disgusting.</i>

501
00:22:07,202 --> 00:22:08,578
<i>I don't know...</i>

502
00:22:08,745 --> 00:22:10,348
<i>- You didn't fuck him?
- I don't...</i>

503
00:22:10,372 --> 00:22:12,350
<i>- Tell me you didn't fuck him.
- I don't know what...</i>

504
00:22:12,374 --> 00:22:13,814
<i>- Swear.
- I swear.</i>

505
00:22:13,875 --> 00:22:15,502
Swear on your dad's grave.

506
00:22:32,728 --> 00:22:34,771
Oh, my God.

507
00:22:37,607 --> 00:22:39,818
- Don't. No!
- You're a brotherfucker!

508
00:22:39,985 --> 00:22:41,486
Don't.

509
00:22:41,653 --> 00:22:42,863
This is good.

510
00:22:43,030 --> 00:22:45,282
Oh, my God!

511
00:22:45,449 --> 00:22:47,289
I've got a brotherfucker
taking care of my kid.

512
00:22:47,367 --> 00:22:48,761
I shouldn't have
even said anything.

513
00:22:48,785 --> 00:22:50,370
Brotherfucker!

514
00:22:50,537 --> 00:22:52,039
You know what? I don't know.

515
00:22:52,205 --> 00:22:54,183
- It's these stupid martinis.
- Hey, brotherfucker.

516
00:22:54,207 --> 00:22:56,519
- Do you wanna stay for dinner?
- I shouldn't have said anything.

517
00:22:56,543 --> 00:22:59,046
Yeah, I do wanna stay for
dinner. That would be lovely.

518
00:22:59,212 --> 00:23:00,672
I can't wait to see
what you cook.

519
00:23:00,839 --> 00:23:02,424
You know what?

520
00:23:02,591 --> 00:23:04,968
I'm gonna cook you
the best meal of your life,

521
00:23:05,135 --> 00:23:06,511
and you're gonna
feel really bad

522
00:23:06,678 --> 00:23:08,096
about being
so mean right now.

523
00:23:08,263 --> 00:23:09,639
- Brotherfucker!
- Ow!

524
00:23:09,806 --> 00:23:10,974
I like you!

525
00:23:11,141 --> 00:23:12,934
"Hi, moms,
Stephanie here.

526
00:23:13,101 --> 00:23:15,079
"Today we'll be talking about
the perfect first aid kit

527
00:23:15,103 --> 00:23:17,023
"so you're never left in need
during a crisis..."

528
00:23:21,068 --> 00:23:22,444
- Hi!
<i>- Stephanie!</i>

529
00:23:22,611 --> 00:23:23,779
<i>Thank God you picked up.</i>

530
00:23:23,945 --> 00:23:25,345
<i>Hey, I just have
a little emergency.</i>

531
00:23:25,489 --> 00:23:27,365
<i>Oh, really? That's
a coincidence. I was just...</i>

532
00:23:27,532 --> 00:23:29,868
<i>- I need your help.</i>
- Are you okay?

533
00:23:30,035 --> 00:23:32,704
<i>I'm fine, but I do need
just a simple favor.</i>

534
00:23:32,871 --> 00:23:34,331
<i>Can you grab
Nicky from school?</i>

535
00:23:34,498 --> 00:23:36,309
<i>Sean's in London, his mother
broke her fucking hip,</i>

536
00:23:36,333 --> 00:23:38,376
<i>and I got a big fire
to put out at work.</i>

537
00:23:38,543 --> 00:23:41,129
Oh, yeah. Oh, my God!
Poor Sean, poor you.

538
00:23:41,296 --> 00:23:43,715
Um... Anything
I can do to help. Yeah.

539
00:23:43,882 --> 00:23:45,550
<i>You're the best.
Hey, I gotta run.</i>

540
00:23:45,717 --> 00:23:47,344
<i>But I'll get you back
for this, okay?</i>

541
00:23:47,511 --> 00:23:49,262
Of course.
Nicky's in good hands.

542
00:23:49,429 --> 00:23:51,681
<i>Hey, Stephanie,
you're a good person.</i>

543
00:23:51,848 --> 00:23:53,266
<i>A true friend. I mean that.</i>

544
00:23:53,433 --> 00:23:56,353
Don't worry about it.
I will talk to you later. Bye.

545
00:24:01,608 --> 00:24:03,318
Freeze!
Do you know what I see?

546
00:24:03,485 --> 00:24:05,362
I see two boys
getting a play date!

547
00:24:05,529 --> 00:24:07,572
Yay!

548
00:24:07,739 --> 00:24:10,158
Stephanie, that's so great
you took the nanny job.

549
00:24:10,325 --> 00:24:11,743
- Nanny job?
- Yeah, for Emily.

550
00:24:11,910 --> 00:24:13,662
I know she was looking for one.

551
00:24:13,829 --> 00:24:15,122
Ahh.

552
00:24:15,288 --> 00:24:17,124
Well, that...

553
00:24:17,290 --> 00:24:20,377
We're just friends.
I'm helping her as a friend.

554
00:24:20,544 --> 00:24:22,587
Oh, God, I'm so sorry.

555
00:24:22,754 --> 00:24:24,673
I didn't realize
you guys were so close.

556
00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:26,424
Well, we are!

557
00:24:26,591 --> 00:24:29,594
We drink martinis together.
Strong ones from London.

558
00:24:29,761 --> 00:24:31,481
Okay, boys, if you don't
wrestle in the car,

559
00:24:31,596 --> 00:24:32,756
I'm gonna
make you fruit pops!

560
00:24:32,889 --> 00:24:35,225
- Let's go, let's go!
- Yay!

561
00:24:37,018 --> 00:24:39,479
She doesn't know
she's working for free.

562
00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:44,442
♪ A little bit of you
makes me your man

563
00:24:44,609 --> 00:24:45,777
♪ Whoa! ♪

564
00:24:57,664 --> 00:24:59,040
<i>This is Emily Nelson,</i>

565
00:24:59,207 --> 00:25:01,376
<i>Director of Public Relations
for Dennis Nylon Holdings.</i>

566
00:25:01,543 --> 00:25:03,044
<i>Leave a message
or go fuck yourself.</i>

567
00:25:03,211 --> 00:25:06,381
Hey, uh, Em,
it's Stephanie. Um...

568
00:25:06,548 --> 00:25:09,176
I know you're probably
knee-deep in that crisis.

569
00:25:09,342 --> 00:25:11,237
But Nicky's asking when
you're coming to get him,

570
00:25:11,261 --> 00:25:12,762
and I don't know
what to say, so...

571
00:25:12,929 --> 00:25:14,723
Just let me know.

572
00:25:14,890 --> 00:25:17,601
And I hope you're hanging
in there. Give 'em heck.

573
00:25:17,767 --> 00:25:19,102
<i>Stephanie Smothers?</i>

574
00:25:19,269 --> 00:25:21,688
I'm a close friend of hers.
I'm watching her son.

575
00:25:21,855 --> 00:25:23,607
Can you just tell me
where she is

576
00:25:23,773 --> 00:25:25,192
and when she
might be back?

577
00:25:25,358 --> 00:25:27,694
Yeah, she's in Miami
for a few days.

578
00:25:27,861 --> 00:25:29,487
Did you wanna
leave a message?

579
00:25:29,654 --> 00:25:31,656
I'm... I'm sorry,
did you say a few days?

580
00:25:31,823 --> 00:25:33,342
Yeah, can you hold
for a second, please?

581
00:25:33,366 --> 00:25:35,086
<i>She didn't say
that it was gonna be a few...</i>

582
00:25:35,243 --> 00:25:37,704
Oh, for the love of Job. Ooh!

583
00:25:37,871 --> 00:25:40,081
<i>Yes.</i>

584
00:25:40,248 --> 00:25:42,584
Sean, hi! Um, it's Stephanie.
I'm so sorry to bother you.

585
00:25:42,751 --> 00:25:44,353
I got your number
from the school directory.

586
00:25:44,377 --> 00:25:45,712
Has something
happened to Nicky?

587
00:25:45,879 --> 00:25:47,214
<i>No! Uh, Nicky's fine.</i>

588
00:25:47,380 --> 00:25:50,634
He's... Yeah, sorry, he's fine.
He's here with me.

589
00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:54,471
Um, Emily, though,
asked me to watch him and...

590
00:25:55,639 --> 00:25:58,099
...that was two days ago,
and I haven't heard from her.

591
00:25:58,266 --> 00:26:00,685
<i>- Have you guys been in touch?</i>
- Christ, two days?

592
00:26:00,852 --> 00:26:02,229
<i>What'd she tell you?</i>

593
00:26:02,395 --> 00:26:04,231
She said she had
to put out a big fire.

594
00:26:04,397 --> 00:26:06,650
And I called her office
and they said she was in Miami?

595
00:26:06,816 --> 00:26:08,193
<i>Yeah, that sounds
about right.</i>

596
00:26:08,360 --> 00:26:09,736
I mean, I've played through

597
00:26:09,903 --> 00:26:11,183
some of these
emergencies before.

598
00:26:11,238 --> 00:26:12,614
<i>And once she knows
that Nicky's</i>

599
00:26:12,781 --> 00:26:14,574
<i>being taken care of,
she disappears</i>

600
00:26:14,741 --> 00:26:15,784
for quite some time.

601
00:26:15,951 --> 00:26:19,162
- Oh, fun! Um...
- I'm flying back tomorrow.

602
00:26:19,329 --> 00:26:21,373
I'll pick up Nicky as soon
as I'm on the ground.

603
00:26:21,539 --> 00:26:24,167
<i>- All righty?</i>
- Yea... All righty.

604
00:26:28,672 --> 00:26:29,923
Ah.

605
00:26:30,090 --> 00:26:31,925
Miss Canterbury Tales.

606
00:26:32,092 --> 00:26:33,635
Um, her assistant,
Valerie, said that

607
00:26:33,802 --> 00:26:35,404
she couldn't get in touch
with her either,

608
00:26:35,428 --> 00:26:38,974
which is weird 'cause it's
a work thing, an emergency.

609
00:26:39,140 --> 00:26:41,184
Some of the moms think
we should go to the police.

610
00:26:41,351 --> 00:26:44,104
Jesus.
Has it really come to this?

611
00:26:44,271 --> 00:26:45,772
Do you want tea?

612
00:26:45,939 --> 00:26:48,066
You know what? Let's do it.

613
00:26:48,233 --> 00:26:50,860
Not the tea. The police.

614
00:26:51,027 --> 00:26:52,445
- Sean?
- Yeah.

615
00:26:52,612 --> 00:26:53,989
The police are here.

616
00:26:54,155 --> 00:26:55,740
Okay.

617
00:27:01,871 --> 00:27:03,511
And when was the last time

618
00:27:03,665 --> 00:27:05,625
either of you heard from her?

619
00:27:05,792 --> 00:27:07,544
Three days ago.

620
00:27:07,711 --> 00:27:09,879
I was in London.
My mother broke her hip.

621
00:27:10,046 --> 00:27:11,846
- I'm sorry to hear that.
- Thank you.

622
00:27:11,923 --> 00:27:13,591
And she said
it was a work crisis?

623
00:27:13,758 --> 00:27:15,927
Yeah, she has
a very high-profile job

624
00:27:16,094 --> 00:27:18,430
and a full staff
that she oversees.

625
00:27:18,596 --> 00:27:21,141
Most times when a woman
vanishes, she has a reason.

626
00:27:21,308 --> 00:27:23,059
What are you implying,
exactly?

627
00:27:23,226 --> 00:27:24,686
You two didn't have a fight?

628
00:27:24,853 --> 00:27:26,413
Something to make you
run off to London?

629
00:27:26,479 --> 00:27:28,199
Are you saying that
I broke my mother's hip?

630
00:27:28,315 --> 00:27:30,442
You leave town,
your wife takes off.

631
00:27:30,608 --> 00:27:32,569
Maybe there's, um,

632
00:27:32,736 --> 00:27:35,363
a close 'friend' she might
be spending some time with.

633
00:27:35,530 --> 00:27:37,198
Excuse me, that's very rude.

634
00:27:37,365 --> 00:27:39,326
He is a dedicated
husband and father.

635
00:27:39,492 --> 00:27:40,692
I have seen him with his wife.

636
00:27:40,827 --> 00:27:42,305
Let me tell you,
they've got more chemistry

637
00:27:42,329 --> 00:27:43,371
than a science fair.

638
00:27:43,538 --> 00:27:44,807
Just exploring
all avenues, ma'am.

639
00:27:44,831 --> 00:27:47,375
Well, that avenue is
a dead end, so you can drop it.

640
00:27:47,542 --> 00:27:50,128
And where's Emily's family?

641
00:27:50,295 --> 00:27:51,713
She doesn't have any.

642
00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:53,256
She was an only child,

643
00:27:53,423 --> 00:27:55,842
and her mother and father died
when she was a teenager.

644
00:27:56,968 --> 00:27:58,345
I'm sorry,
I didn't know that.

645
00:27:58,511 --> 00:27:59,989
We'll file
a missing person's report

646
00:28:00,013 --> 00:28:02,474
and contact you
in the next couple of days.

647
00:28:02,640 --> 00:28:04,059
If she doesn't turn up,

648
00:28:04,225 --> 00:28:06,311
we'll contact the local
authorities in Miami.

649
00:28:06,478 --> 00:28:08,813
Not planning any more trips,
are you, Mr. Townsend?

650
00:28:08,980 --> 00:28:11,941
No. I'm gonna be right here.

651
00:28:12,108 --> 00:28:14,986
I'm gonna be at my house
with my son.

652
00:28:15,153 --> 00:28:17,072
We can show ourselves out.

653
00:28:19,074 --> 00:28:21,074
God knows we've had
our troubles in the past,

654
00:28:21,201 --> 00:28:24,746
but I don't think she'd just
up and leave her child.

655
00:28:24,913 --> 00:28:27,874
No, God, she adores Nicky.
She wouldn't do that.

656
00:28:28,041 --> 00:28:29,709
She is an enigma, my wife.

657
00:28:29,876 --> 00:28:31,294
That's what drew me to her.

658
00:28:31,461 --> 00:28:32,837
It can also make her impossible.

659
00:28:33,004 --> 00:28:34,339
She can be so fiercely private.

660
00:28:34,506 --> 00:28:35,632
She sure doesn't
like having

661
00:28:35,799 --> 00:28:37,279
her picture taken,
I'll tell you that.

662
00:28:37,342 --> 00:28:39,342
I remember this one time,
she shut down my Facebook

663
00:28:39,427 --> 00:28:41,554
because I posted up
a family picture.

664
00:28:41,721 --> 00:28:42,931
Ugh. Social media
is so tricky.

665
00:28:43,098 --> 00:28:44,474
You can get close to her,

666
00:28:44,641 --> 00:28:46,267
but you can never
quite reach her.

667
00:28:46,434 --> 00:28:48,937
She's like a beautiful ghost.

668
00:28:49,104 --> 00:28:50,688
Never entirely there.

669
00:28:50,855 --> 00:28:52,232
That's so poetic.

670
00:28:52,399 --> 00:28:54,401
You know, that's why
you're such a good writer.

671
00:28:54,567 --> 00:28:56,444
I'm not a writer
anymore, Stephanie.

672
00:28:56,611 --> 00:28:58,321
I gave all that up just to chase

673
00:28:58,488 --> 00:29:00,031
this woman
for the rest of my life.

674
00:29:01,783 --> 00:29:04,119
I should order a taxi
and go home.

675
00:29:04,285 --> 00:29:05,787
Yeah.

676
00:29:05,954 --> 00:29:07,622
Oh, gosh, it's 1:25.

677
00:29:07,789 --> 00:29:09,916
They stop driving at 1:00 here.

678
00:29:11,751 --> 00:29:13,378
That couch pulls out, um,

679
00:29:13,545 --> 00:29:15,088
if you wanna stay over.

680
00:29:15,255 --> 00:29:16,798
I know Nicky would love it

681
00:29:16,965 --> 00:29:18,508
if you were here
in the morning.

682
00:29:18,675 --> 00:29:20,218
That would be lovely.

683
00:29:37,277 --> 00:29:38,778
Who wants
more B vitamins?

684
00:29:38,945 --> 00:29:40,113
- Yeah!
- I do!

685
00:29:40,280 --> 00:29:42,031
Yeah?
Are they nice?

686
00:29:42,198 --> 00:29:43,783
- Yeah.
- Yeah? Delicious?

687
00:29:43,950 --> 00:29:45,535
- Hi.
- Hey.

688
00:29:45,702 --> 00:29:48,121
Uh, what on Earth
are you making?

689
00:29:48,288 --> 00:29:49,956
These are
hangover smoothies.

690
00:29:50,123 --> 00:29:52,041
They get it
right out of you.

691
00:29:52,208 --> 00:29:53,501
And the kids love them.

692
00:29:53,668 --> 00:29:55,795
A little tip -
they have a full portion

693
00:29:55,962 --> 00:29:57,922
of vegetables in them
and they don't even know it.

694
00:29:58,089 --> 00:30:00,133
It's so hard to get kids
to eat their vegetables.

695
00:30:00,300 --> 00:30:02,177
Right?

696
00:30:02,343 --> 00:30:03,511
Mmm.

697
00:30:03,678 --> 00:30:04,971
Wanna try some?

698
00:30:05,138 --> 00:30:07,056
Great.

699
00:30:12,645 --> 00:30:13,980
Good?

700
00:30:16,941 --> 00:30:18,735
I think we should
get ready for school.

701
00:30:18,902 --> 00:30:21,654
Oh, school, school!

702
00:30:21,821 --> 00:30:23,573
<i>Hi, moms, Stephanie here.</i>

703
00:30:23,740 --> 00:30:24,782
<i>Today I'm making</i>

704
00:30:24,949 --> 00:30:25,992
<i>a new recipe I learned</i>

705
00:30:26,159 --> 00:30:27,243
<i>for a hangover smoothie.</i>

706
00:30:27,410 --> 00:30:28,786
<i>Uh, it's really nice.</i>

707
00:30:28,953 --> 00:30:30,163
<i>I especially want to thank</i>

708
00:30:30,330 --> 00:30:31,706
<i>everybody who's written in</i>

709
00:30:31,873 --> 00:30:33,374
<i>to ask about Emily.</i>

710
00:30:34,417 --> 00:30:36,211
<i>It's been four days now.</i>

711
00:30:36,377 --> 00:30:37,921
<i>So...</i>

712
00:30:38,087 --> 00:30:39,380
<i>The good news is that Sean</i>

713
00:30:39,547 --> 00:30:40,798
<i>is home from London,</i>

714
00:30:40,965 --> 00:30:42,050
<i>and he's working</i>

715
00:30:42,217 --> 00:30:43,635
<i>very closely with the police.</i>

716
00:30:43,801 --> 00:30:46,471
<i>Um, actually, moms,</i>

717
00:30:46,638 --> 00:30:48,181
<i>I know a lot of you</i>

718
00:30:48,348 --> 00:30:49,474
<i>are hung up on the idea</i>

719
00:30:49,641 --> 00:30:50,683
<i>that the husband</i>

720
00:30:50,850 --> 00:30:52,060
<i>is always the primary suspect.</i>

721
00:30:52,227 --> 00:30:54,062
<i>I know. I've seen 'Law & Order'.</i>

722
00:30:54,229 --> 00:30:55,605
<i>But, um...</i>

723
00:30:55,772 --> 00:30:57,815
<i>First, I'm here to tell you</i>

724
00:30:57,982 --> 00:31:00,568
<i>Sean was in London
when Emily disappeared.</i>

725
00:31:00,735 --> 00:31:02,862
<i>And some of you
have suggested</i>

726
00:31:03,029 --> 00:31:05,657
<i>that he did that
to set up an alibi,</i>

727
00:31:05,823 --> 00:31:09,744
<i>but he's an amazing husband
and an amazing father, so...</i>

728
00:31:09,911 --> 00:31:11,663
<i>The police
haven't been much help.</i>

729
00:31:11,829 --> 00:31:13,909
<i>But every mom knows if
you want something done right,</i>

730
00:31:13,957 --> 00:31:15,708
<i>you have to do it yourself.</i>

731
00:31:15,875 --> 00:31:17,835
<i>I will leave
no stone unturned.</i>

732
00:31:18,002 --> 00:31:19,546
<i>I think that's
what Emily would want.</i>

733
00:31:19,712 --> 00:31:21,272
Dennis Nylon, please hold.

734
00:31:22,340 --> 00:31:24,384
Dennis Nylon,
please hold.

735
00:31:25,468 --> 00:31:27,512
Thanks for holding.
How may I direct your call?

736
00:31:27,679 --> 00:31:29,055
Hi, my name is Stephanie...

737
00:31:29,222 --> 00:31:31,015
Dennis Nylon, please hold.

738
00:31:31,182 --> 00:31:32,701
My friend works here.
She's been missing...

739
00:31:32,725 --> 00:31:34,565
Thanks for holding.
How may I direct your call?

740
00:31:34,644 --> 00:31:37,647
- I tried to call her assistant.
- Dennis Nylon, please hold.

741
00:31:37,814 --> 00:31:39,232
Valerie? She wasn't
super helpful.

742
00:31:39,399 --> 00:31:41,210
Thanks for holding.
How may I direct your call?

743
00:31:41,234 --> 00:31:42,674
I can't tell
if you're talking to me.

744
00:31:42,735 --> 00:31:44,338
- You're looking right at me...
- Please hold.

745
00:31:44,362 --> 00:31:46,030
- Dennis Nylon, please hold.
- Okay...

746
00:31:46,197 --> 00:31:48,008
Thanks for holding.
How may I direct your call?

747
00:31:48,032 --> 00:31:49,200
Her name's Emily Nelson.

748
00:31:49,367 --> 00:31:50,952
She's the head
of the PR department.

749
00:31:51,119 --> 00:31:53,871
- Emily's not in today.
- I know she's not in.

750
00:31:54,038 --> 00:31:56,207
- Dennis Nylon, please hold.
- Okay.

751
00:31:56,374 --> 00:31:58,209
I'm just gonna...

752
00:31:58,376 --> 00:32:00,211
Sorry. No, I am not sorry.

753
00:32:00,378 --> 00:32:03,923
I need to speak
to Dennis Nylon, please?

754
00:32:04,090 --> 00:32:06,050
A woman's missing, so...

755
00:32:06,217 --> 00:32:07,760
Mr. Nylon's not here right now.

756
00:32:07,927 --> 00:32:11,097
- Great, I'll wait.
- Knock yourself out.

757
00:32:11,264 --> 00:32:12,599
Okay.

758
00:32:28,865 --> 00:32:30,491
Dennis Nylon, please hold.

759
00:32:30,658 --> 00:32:32,493
Um, Mr. Nylon?

760
00:32:32,660 --> 00:32:34,370
We don't accept
unsolicited resumes.

761
00:32:34,537 --> 00:32:36,080
Cool. That's not why I'm here.

762
00:32:36,247 --> 00:32:38,458
- Um, we have a problem.
- We most certainly do.

763
00:32:38,625 --> 00:32:40,603
A friend of mine works in
your publicity department...

764
00:32:40,627 --> 00:32:41,961
Is that a vintage
Hermes scarf?

765
00:32:42,128 --> 00:32:43,880
Um, my Aunt Frieda
gave it to me.

766
00:32:44,047 --> 00:32:45,715
Did she want you
to hang yourself with it?

767
00:32:45,882 --> 00:32:47,442
Look at that knot.
Jesus fucking Christ!

768
00:32:47,592 --> 00:32:49,010
I'm here about
Emily Nelson.

769
00:32:49,177 --> 00:32:50,417
What about Emily?
What happened?

770
00:32:50,553 --> 00:32:52,680
She asked me to pick up
her son four days ago

771
00:32:52,847 --> 00:32:54,307
because she went to Miami.

772
00:32:54,474 --> 00:32:56,074
She's still not back.
No texts, no calls.

773
00:32:56,184 --> 00:32:57,935
No one in your office
seems to give a crap.

774
00:32:58,102 --> 00:32:59,687
Excuse my language.

775
00:32:59,854 --> 00:33:01,481
- Kiko.
- Hmm?

776
00:33:01,648 --> 00:33:03,107
Why did Emily
go to Miami?

777
00:33:03,274 --> 00:33:04,817
I didn't know she did.

778
00:33:06,402 --> 00:33:08,655
We in this office
have learned that

779
00:33:08,821 --> 00:33:10,424
when Emily elects
not to tell us something,

780
00:33:10,448 --> 00:33:11,824
it's best not to ask.

781
00:33:11,991 --> 00:33:13,159
Doesn't she work for you?

782
00:33:13,326 --> 00:33:15,244
Emily's job
is to stop the apocalypse

783
00:33:15,411 --> 00:33:17,205
without worrying
any of the designers.

784
00:33:17,372 --> 00:33:18,748
And she always
finds a way

785
00:33:18,915 --> 00:33:20,291
to look fabulous
when she does it.

786
00:33:20,458 --> 00:33:21,834
That's great!

787
00:33:22,001 --> 00:33:23,920
What do you suggest
that I do?

788
00:33:24,087 --> 00:33:26,172
Never wear a vintage Hermes
scarf with a Gap T-shirt.

789
00:33:26,339 --> 00:33:28,459
If you were truly Emily's
friend, you would know that.

790
00:33:28,549 --> 00:33:30,677
Excuse me,
I have a very busy day.

791
00:33:32,762 --> 00:33:35,306
Valerie, my office, now!

792
00:33:50,363 --> 00:33:51,989
Hi.

793
00:33:52,156 --> 00:33:55,034
Sit, sit, sit!
Emily - I want answers. Speak.

794
00:33:55,201 --> 00:33:57,412
Steven,
you forgot the shirts.

795
00:34:08,256 --> 00:34:10,591
No, I can't
help you with that.

796
00:34:10,758 --> 00:34:12,135
Of course
he's freaking out.

797
00:34:12,301 --> 00:34:14,303
He needs someone
to manage this now.

798
00:34:14,470 --> 00:34:15,805
I don't know.

799
00:34:26,858 --> 00:34:29,152
Mother fudger.

800
00:35:00,057 --> 00:35:02,185
Well, if it isn't Aunt Frieda's
least favorite niece.

801
00:35:02,351 --> 00:35:03,853
What were you
doing up there?

802
00:35:04,020 --> 00:35:06,689
Corporate spying or just
a common garden shoplifter?

803
00:35:07,899 --> 00:35:09,776
Yeah, you gotta go
right at them.

804
00:35:09,942 --> 00:35:11,319
Especially the powerful ones

805
00:35:11,486 --> 00:35:13,112
or they will fuck you
in the face.

806
00:35:14,197 --> 00:35:15,677
Listen, you bargain basement
Tom Ford,

807
00:35:15,823 --> 00:35:17,843
if you don't have this Ken doll
unhand me this second,

808
00:35:17,867 --> 00:35:19,907
I will tell the thousands of
moms that watch my vlog

809
00:35:19,994 --> 00:35:21,914
that Dennis Nylon is a bully
who victimizes women

810
00:35:21,996 --> 00:35:23,640
and that they should stop
buying your tacky blouses

811
00:35:23,664 --> 00:35:25,166
made by Indonesian children

812
00:35:25,333 --> 00:35:27,293
because if you lose moms,
you lose business.

813
00:35:30,254 --> 00:35:32,840
Okay, number one, they are
not Indonesian children.

814
00:35:33,007 --> 00:35:34,759
They are Vietnamese
teenagers.

815
00:35:34,926 --> 00:35:37,595
Number two,
Tom Ford wishes he were me.

816
00:35:37,762 --> 00:35:41,057
And number three,
if I'm tacky,

817
00:35:41,224 --> 00:35:44,310
okay, you're...

818
00:35:44,477 --> 00:35:46,395
This has been fun.

819
00:35:46,562 --> 00:35:48,815
Better pray
I don't have a bruise.

820
00:35:59,325 --> 00:36:00,701
No wonder she doesn't like

821
00:36:00,868 --> 00:36:02,245
having her picture taken.

822
00:36:08,042 --> 00:36:09,502
Look
at our little Stephanie.

823
00:36:09,669 --> 00:36:11,712
Comforting
the worried husband.

824
00:36:11,879 --> 00:36:14,924
Oh, please. It's an arts
and crafts project.

825
00:36:15,091 --> 00:36:17,927
I've never seen her pass up
a chance to use a stapler.

826
00:36:18,094 --> 00:36:21,347
Emily's gonna hate those flyers
when she gets back.

827
00:36:21,514 --> 00:36:24,100
She's not coming back.

828
00:36:25,309 --> 00:36:26,686
Don't you watch 'Dateline'?

829
00:36:26,853 --> 00:36:29,730
If the case isn't solved
in the first 72 hours,

830
00:36:29,897 --> 00:36:32,066
they're always dead.

831
00:36:32,233 --> 00:36:33,776
Oh, yeah.

832
00:36:35,361 --> 00:36:36,654
Oh, perfect timing!

833
00:36:36,821 --> 00:36:38,531
Dinner's ready.
The boys are upstairs.

834
00:36:38,698 --> 00:36:41,826
I'm just gonna have them wash
their hands and come down.

835
00:36:41,993 --> 00:36:44,620
- Um...
- Are you okay?

836
00:36:44,787 --> 00:36:47,164
I've just never
experienced anything like this,

837
00:36:47,331 --> 00:36:49,792
walking into
a fully set dinner table.

838
00:36:49,959 --> 00:36:53,170
Yeah...
This is weird.

839
00:36:53,337 --> 00:36:55,298
- I'm being...
- No, no, no! Not at all.

840
00:36:55,464 --> 00:36:56,966
I think anything
stable these days

841
00:36:57,133 --> 00:36:58,509
is like a gift
from heaven, right?

842
00:36:58,676 --> 00:37:00,469
I should tidy up
first, though.

843
00:37:04,223 --> 00:37:06,142
- Oh, hey.
- Hello.

844
00:37:06,309 --> 00:37:07,351
- Mr. Townsend?
- Ah, yes.

845
00:37:07,518 --> 00:37:08,871
Detective Summerville.
We spoke on the phone.

846
00:37:08,895 --> 00:37:10,146
That's right. Um...

847
00:37:10,313 --> 00:37:12,291
Stephanie, can you help
the boys with their homework?

848
00:37:12,315 --> 00:37:14,025
Of course.

849
00:37:14,191 --> 00:37:15,735
- Come in. Sorry.
- Thank you.

850
00:37:15,902 --> 00:37:19,280
Just a pre-dinner snack.

851
00:37:20,948 --> 00:37:22,491
- That's a cute nanny.
- No, no.

852
00:37:22,658 --> 00:37:24,535
That's one
of my wife's friends.

853
00:37:24,702 --> 00:37:26,871
She's been helping me out.

854
00:37:27,038 --> 00:37:29,957
Oh, shit. Can she come
help out around my house too?

855
00:37:33,294 --> 00:37:34,813
The passenger manifest says

856
00:37:34,837 --> 00:37:36,631
she wasn't on
any flights to Miami.

857
00:37:36,797 --> 00:37:38,883
But she did rent
a white Kia from Budget.

858
00:37:39,050 --> 00:37:40,635
She paid in cash
for a two-day rental.

859
00:37:40,801 --> 00:37:42,678
Now, when people
pay in cash,

860
00:37:42,845 --> 00:37:44,388
that usually means one thing.

861
00:37:44,555 --> 00:37:46,515
What are you saying?
She's having an affair?

862
00:37:46,641 --> 00:37:48,081
I can't say that
with any confidence.

863
00:37:48,225 --> 00:37:49,685
Can you
not track the Kia?

864
00:37:49,852 --> 00:37:51,455
I have
toll booth reports coming in

865
00:37:51,479 --> 00:37:52,647
from across the country,

866
00:37:52,813 --> 00:37:54,333
assuming she's not
swapping out plates.

867
00:37:54,440 --> 00:37:55,983
I wanna get a description
of your wife

868
00:37:56,150 --> 00:37:58,778
to every precinct
in the tri-state area, okay?

869
00:37:58,945 --> 00:38:00,988
Did she have
any distinguishing features?

870
00:38:01,155 --> 00:38:02,740
Any birthmarks, tattoos?

871
00:38:02,907 --> 00:38:04,575
She's got a tattoo
on her left wrist.

872
00:38:04,742 --> 00:38:05,910
Oh, great.

873
00:38:06,077 --> 00:38:08,496
It's flames and a charity
symbol in the middle.

874
00:38:08,663 --> 00:38:10,498
Really?

875
00:38:10,665 --> 00:38:12,500
- More judgment from you?
- Nope. No, no, no.

876
00:38:12,667 --> 00:38:14,085
But she did
things like that.

877
00:38:14,251 --> 00:38:16,045
Impulsive, crazy things.

878
00:38:16,212 --> 00:38:17,755
I'm gonna go call this in.

879
00:38:17,922 --> 00:38:19,674
Tell your wife's friend
I said goodbye.

880
00:38:22,677 --> 00:38:25,054
You're a saint.
You don't have to do that.

881
00:38:25,221 --> 00:38:27,598
I'm not a saint. I just like
to keep my hands busy.

882
00:38:27,765 --> 00:38:29,475
Um... I should go.

883
00:38:29,642 --> 00:38:31,185
It's Flags of the World Day
on Monday.

884
00:38:31,352 --> 00:38:33,771
I haven't even started
on South America.

885
00:38:35,690 --> 00:38:37,274
Sorry.

886
00:38:37,441 --> 00:38:40,111
No, I don't mean sorry.
I mean thank you.

887
00:38:40,277 --> 00:38:42,279
Thank you for being
such a good friend.

888
00:38:42,446 --> 00:38:43,614
Of course.

889
00:38:43,781 --> 00:38:45,741
I'm a problem-solver.
I just wish I could do more.

890
00:38:45,783 --> 00:38:47,827
You're doing plenty.

891
00:38:55,459 --> 00:38:57,128
So, that's where
we are today.

892
00:38:57,294 --> 00:38:58,671
And we are keeping
our heads up

893
00:38:58,838 --> 00:39:00,339
and not jumping
to any conclusions.

894
00:39:00,506 --> 00:39:01,882
We are soldiering on

895
00:39:02,049 --> 00:39:03,968
with cookies and origami.

896
00:39:04,135 --> 00:39:06,303
But for you moms
who want to help,

897
00:39:06,470 --> 00:39:08,639
we know that Emily
was driving a white Kia

898
00:39:08,806 --> 00:39:10,433
that she rented
from a Budget

899
00:39:10,599 --> 00:39:12,852
at La Guardia Airport
on the 24th.

900
00:39:13,019 --> 00:39:14,520
And I did a little digging,

901
00:39:14,687 --> 00:39:16,981
so, um,
the license plate is...

902
00:39:23,237 --> 00:39:25,781
<i>Dear Stephanie, I'm
writing from Standish, Michigan,</i>

903
00:39:25,948 --> 00:39:27,324
<i>with a possible
Emily sighting.</i>

904
00:39:27,491 --> 00:39:29,285
<i>I was driving down I-75
two days ago,</i>

905
00:39:29,452 --> 00:39:31,328
<i>when I saw a woman
gassing up a white Kia.</i>

906
00:39:31,495 --> 00:39:33,581
<i>She was really pretty
and I remember thinking</i>

907
00:39:33,748 --> 00:39:35,548
<i>she didn't look like
she was from around here.</i>

908
00:39:35,624 --> 00:39:37,209
<i>I hope this help...</i>

909
00:39:38,377 --> 00:39:40,097
So, um,
Summerville sent the info

910
00:39:40,171 --> 00:39:41,714
to the local authorities
in Michigan.

911
00:39:41,881 --> 00:39:44,508
Did she ever mention Michigan?
Did she have a friend there?

912
00:39:44,675 --> 00:39:47,136
As far as I knew, she didn't
have any real friends.

913
00:39:47,303 --> 00:39:48,846
- Not before you.
- Oh.

914
00:39:49,013 --> 00:39:52,058
I... How is that possible?

915
00:39:52,224 --> 00:39:54,393
Hold on.

916
00:39:54,560 --> 00:39:56,645
Hello. Please
tell me you found her.

917
00:39:56,812 --> 00:39:58,522
A lake?

918
00:39:59,648 --> 00:40:01,609
Well, I don't know.

919
00:40:02,777 --> 00:40:04,236
Okay, I'm heading
there now.

920
00:40:04,403 --> 00:40:06,280
They found the rental car
in Michigan.

921
00:40:06,447 --> 00:40:07,823
Look, I'm gonna have to go

922
00:40:07,990 --> 00:40:09,742
'cause otherwise
I'm going to go crazy.

923
00:40:09,909 --> 00:40:11,869
- Can you do me a favor?
- Yes, it's done. Go.

924
00:40:13,245 --> 00:40:15,081
<i>Hi, moms. Stephanie here.</i>

925
00:40:15,247 --> 00:40:17,750
I can see we have
a flood of new viewers today.

926
00:40:17,917 --> 00:40:21,087
And if you're new
to the vlog, I'm sorry.

927
00:40:21,253 --> 00:40:23,173
This probably isn't
the best entry to start with.

928
00:40:23,339 --> 00:40:26,300
<i>For those of you who have been
following my vlog this week,</i>

929
00:40:26,467 --> 00:40:29,136
<i>you know that my best friend
Emily went missing.</i>

930
00:40:29,303 --> 00:40:32,640
<i>And so many of you wrote in with
your helpful tips and ideas.</i>

931
00:40:32,807 --> 00:40:37,061
<i>And I wanna give a special
thanks to Leanne Lippens</i>

932
00:40:37,228 --> 00:40:40,689
<i>whose helpful tip made
a major break in the case.</i>

933
00:40:42,483 --> 00:40:44,276
<i>I have some somber news.</i>

934
00:40:46,821 --> 00:40:48,405
<i>Emily was found.</i>

935
00:40:51,617 --> 00:40:53,536
<i>Not alive, I'm afraid.</i>

936
00:40:55,454 --> 00:40:57,706
<i>My friend Emily Nelson...</i>

937
00:40:59,166 --> 00:41:00,709
<i>...is dead.</i>

938
00:41:15,307 --> 00:41:17,393
Our Father,
we look to you again,

939
00:41:17,560 --> 00:41:19,645
facing this moment
of our need.

940
00:41:19,812 --> 00:41:22,690
In our sorrow,
grief and loneliness

941
00:41:22,857 --> 00:41:25,025
draw us up to yourself,

942
00:41:25,192 --> 00:41:27,778
that we may know the comfort
of the everlasting arms.

943
00:41:27,945 --> 00:41:29,738
Especially support
and comfort those

944
00:41:29,905 --> 00:41:33,200
who have been closest
to our departed sister.

945
00:41:33,367 --> 00:41:34,910
Sustain them
in the blessed assurance

946
00:41:35,077 --> 00:41:36,495
that death is conquered

947
00:41:36,662 --> 00:41:38,038
and new life is begun.

948
00:41:38,205 --> 00:41:39,957
To be absent from the body

949
00:41:40,124 --> 00:41:41,667
is to be present
with the Lord.

950
00:41:41,834 --> 00:41:43,669
May we be assured
in the hope

951
00:41:43,836 --> 00:41:45,337
that we shall
walk together again

952
00:41:45,504 --> 00:41:47,214
in your blessed presence.

953
00:41:47,381 --> 00:41:49,466
Help us to number our days

954
00:41:49,633 --> 00:41:52,428
that we may apply
our hearts unto wisdom.

955
00:41:52,595 --> 00:41:54,013
In the name of the Father,

956
00:41:54,180 --> 00:41:55,931
and of the Son,
and of the Holy Spirit.

957
00:41:56,098 --> 00:41:57,349
Amen.

958
00:42:04,857 --> 00:42:07,067
- Hi.
- Oh, hi.

959
00:42:08,444 --> 00:42:09,820
Are those, um...

960
00:42:09,987 --> 00:42:11,739
Oh, yeah, yeah,
they are.

961
00:42:11,906 --> 00:42:14,450
They're from your
last-minute brownie entry.

962
00:42:14,617 --> 00:42:17,161
I can't believe
you watch my vlog.

963
00:42:17,328 --> 00:42:19,622
I mean, to be honest, when
we first started watching it,

964
00:42:19,788 --> 00:42:21,248
we were just
making fun of you.

965
00:42:21,415 --> 00:42:22,833
But, um...

966
00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:25,040
But then you had some
really helpful hints in there,

967
00:42:25,127 --> 00:42:26,879
especially when Lulu
got that rash.

968
00:42:27,046 --> 00:42:29,006
Apple cider vinegar
was great.

969
00:42:29,173 --> 00:42:30,716
Oh, well, great! That's...

970
00:42:30,883 --> 00:42:32,509
Yeah.

971
00:42:33,969 --> 00:42:36,180
You're a real saint to help
her family out like this.

972
00:42:36,347 --> 00:42:37,848
I'm not a saint.

973
00:42:38,015 --> 00:42:40,267
Emily was my friend, and she'd
do the same for me, so...

974
00:42:40,434 --> 00:42:41,936
If you or Sean need me

975
00:42:42,102 --> 00:42:44,647
to watch Miles or Nicky
anytime, it's nothing.

976
00:42:44,813 --> 00:42:46,690
That's so sweet, Sona.
Thank you.

977
00:42:46,857 --> 00:42:49,693
It's the least she could do.
She didn't even bake anything.

978
00:42:49,860 --> 00:42:51,654
- I'm gonna... Okay.
- Yeah, yeah.

979
00:42:52,780 --> 00:42:54,949
Nicky,
you don't need to worry.

980
00:42:55,115 --> 00:42:56,575
Your mom's in heaven now.

981
00:42:56,742 --> 00:42:58,494
No, she's not! Shut up!

982
00:42:58,661 --> 00:43:00,261
- Ow! Ow! Stop it!
- She's in the ground!

983
00:43:00,329 --> 00:43:01,538
She's never coming back!

984
00:43:01,705 --> 00:43:03,266
Ow! You're hurting me!

985
00:43:03,290 --> 00:43:04,930
- I hate you!
- Ow! Stop it!

986
00:43:04,959 --> 00:43:07,336
Nicky, get off him!

987
00:43:08,712 --> 00:43:10,232
Nicky, what are you doing?
Get off him!

988
00:43:10,339 --> 00:43:12,025
What the hell are you doing?

989
00:43:12,049 --> 00:43:13,926
- Calm down, stop that.
- She made this happen!

990
00:43:14,093 --> 00:43:15,594
- She made my mom die.
- That's crazy.

991
00:43:15,761 --> 00:43:17,656
- You know that.
- She's trying to be my new mom!

992
00:43:17,680 --> 00:43:19,115
Sweetie, I'm not trying
to be your mom.

993
00:43:19,139 --> 00:43:21,475
- I want my mom!
- I know you do, baby. I know.

994
00:43:21,642 --> 00:43:23,936
- But calm down.
- Mom was right. You are a loser!

995
00:43:25,187 --> 00:43:26,563
Is that what she told you,

996
00:43:26,730 --> 00:43:28,065
drunk at 2:00
in the afternoon?

997
00:43:28,232 --> 00:43:30,109
- I am trying my best!
- Sean!

998
00:43:30,276 --> 00:43:31,527
He's just a little boy.
Jesus!

999
00:43:31,694 --> 00:43:33,279
Nicky, I'm sorry.

1000
00:43:33,445 --> 00:43:35,531
- What do I do? What do I do?
- Okay.

1001
00:43:35,698 --> 00:43:37,509
We're all gonna take a deep,
centering breath now.

1002
00:43:37,533 --> 00:43:38,909
Ready?

1003
00:43:39,076 --> 00:43:40,786
We're gonna focus
on one thing at a time.

1004
00:43:40,953 --> 00:43:42,329
I'm gonna stay
and talk to Nicky.

1005
00:43:42,496 --> 00:43:43,914
So I need you
to take Miles inside,

1006
00:43:44,081 --> 00:43:45,249
put some ice on his nose.

1007
00:43:45,416 --> 00:43:47,334
'Cause you got
a good little shiner coming.

1008
00:43:48,419 --> 00:43:49,795
- It's okay.
- Okay.

1009
00:43:49,962 --> 00:43:51,922
It's okay. It's okay.

1010
00:43:53,882 --> 00:43:56,427
I don't wanna talk to you.

1011
00:43:56,593 --> 00:43:59,722
Well... you're not
my favorite dinner date

1012
00:43:59,888 --> 00:44:02,016
right now either, buster.

1013
00:44:02,182 --> 00:44:03,542
But you should know
that everything

1014
00:44:03,642 --> 00:44:05,311
you're feeling right now
is normal.

1015
00:44:05,477 --> 00:44:07,396
You can act out
all you want. That's fine.

1016
00:44:07,563 --> 00:44:09,231
This doesn't change
what I know.

1017
00:44:09,398 --> 00:44:12,192
- What do you know?
- That you're a good kid.

1018
00:44:15,029 --> 00:44:16,905
So let's just sit here
and not talk.

1019
00:44:18,615 --> 00:44:20,576
Let's just sit here and...

1020
00:44:20,743 --> 00:44:23,203
...and feel lousy
and watch the grass grow.

1021
00:44:57,279 --> 00:44:58,364
Hey.

1022
00:44:59,448 --> 00:45:00,824
Hey, come on.

1023
00:45:00,991 --> 00:45:02,868
Don't be hard on yourself, yeah?

1024
00:45:03,035 --> 00:45:05,120
This is the kind of stuff
nobody gets right.

1025
00:45:05,287 --> 00:45:07,247
You do. You always do.

1026
00:45:07,414 --> 00:45:09,124
No, no, come on.

1027
00:45:27,226 --> 00:45:28,811
Um...

1028
00:45:31,939 --> 00:45:34,274
Um, I don't know if we...

1029
00:45:34,441 --> 00:45:35,818
Yeah.

1030
00:45:35,984 --> 00:45:37,986
- You're right. We shouldn't.
- Yeah.

1031
00:45:38,153 --> 00:45:40,280
Yeah.

1032
00:45:42,783 --> 00:45:44,326
Fuck.

1033
00:45:53,752 --> 00:45:56,630
♪ So don't forget me

1034
00:45:56,797 --> 00:45:59,842
♪ Come close

1035
00:46:00,008 --> 00:46:03,262
♪ Be under my skin

1036
00:46:03,429 --> 00:46:07,141
♪ I can not wait

1037
00:46:07,307 --> 00:46:11,437
♪ Go under my skin... ♪

1038
00:48:11,515 --> 00:48:13,475
Huh! Come on.

1039
00:48:14,768 --> 00:48:16,728
Are you serious?

1040
00:48:27,614 --> 00:48:30,409
Hey, Ms. Smothers!

1041
00:48:30,576 --> 00:48:33,036
- Can I talk to you?
- Yeah. Um...

1042
00:48:34,121 --> 00:48:35,497
I'll come right down.

1043
00:48:38,166 --> 00:48:39,418
Shit!

1044
00:48:40,877 --> 00:48:42,754
- Hi! Hi!
- Hey, hey.

1045
00:48:42,921 --> 00:48:46,216
Uh, I just left something
here, so I was just...

1046
00:48:46,383 --> 00:48:49,511
I had a key 'cause earlier
Sean gave me a key...

1047
00:48:49,678 --> 00:48:50,989
You're not under arrest,
Miss Smothers.

1048
00:48:51,013 --> 00:48:52,764
- Whoa!
- FYI.

1049
00:48:52,931 --> 00:48:55,058
I should hope not. Oh!

1050
00:48:55,225 --> 00:48:56,768
- All right. No, no.
- No.

1051
00:48:56,935 --> 00:48:59,438
- You're very funny.
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

1052
00:48:59,605 --> 00:49:01,023
Um...

1053
00:49:01,189 --> 00:49:02,649
Sean's not here right now.

1054
00:49:02,816 --> 00:49:04,985
You know, I was actually
hoping to speak to you.

1055
00:49:05,152 --> 00:49:07,154
- Oh!
- Yeah, I went by your house.

1056
00:49:07,321 --> 00:49:08,697
Then I went by the school.

1057
00:49:08,864 --> 00:49:10,704
Then one of the moms
thought you might be here.

1058
00:49:10,866 --> 00:49:13,035
Did they? Okay.
Well, that's...

1059
00:49:13,201 --> 00:49:14,620
Was it Stacy?

1060
00:49:14,786 --> 00:49:16,455
Can I come in?

1061
00:49:16,622 --> 00:49:18,373
- Of course. I would love that.
- Thank you.

1062
00:49:18,540 --> 00:49:19,958
Entrez-vous.

1063
00:49:20,125 --> 00:49:22,669
You said that Emily's
your best friend.

1064
00:49:22,836 --> 00:49:25,047
Yes. Yes, we are.

1065
00:49:25,213 --> 00:49:27,299
- Was she depressed?
- No.

1066
00:49:27,466 --> 00:49:29,009
No, she had everything.

1067
00:49:29,176 --> 00:49:30,636
She had the house
and the job...

1068
00:49:30,802 --> 00:49:32,429
And the husband.

1069
00:49:32,596 --> 00:49:34,139
I was getting there, yeah.

1070
00:49:34,306 --> 00:49:36,266
The neighbors said
they fought a lot.

1071
00:49:36,433 --> 00:49:38,644
Well, they had issues. Um...

1072
00:49:38,810 --> 00:49:40,479
But they loved
each other intensely.

1073
00:49:40,646 --> 00:49:42,814
Oh, what issues
did they have?

1074
00:49:42,981 --> 00:49:45,108
The normal issues. They were
stressed about money.

1075
00:49:45,275 --> 00:49:47,152
And I think Emily wanted

1076
00:49:47,319 --> 00:49:49,112
to slow down
and smell the roses.

1077
00:49:49,279 --> 00:49:50,906
She slowed down all right.

1078
00:49:51,073 --> 00:49:54,951
I got the autopsy report
right here.

1079
00:49:55,118 --> 00:49:56,453
Let's see here.

1080
00:49:56,620 --> 00:49:58,997
"Severe liver damage
suggesting heavy alcohol use.

1081
00:49:59,164 --> 00:50:02,793
"Track marks along her arms
and between her toes."

1082
00:50:02,959 --> 00:50:04,878
I mean, were you aware
of the heroin use?

1083
00:50:07,798 --> 00:50:10,175
No, that's, uh...

1084
00:50:11,593 --> 00:50:13,929
I'm sorry, I really
have trouble believing that.

1085
00:50:14,096 --> 00:50:15,138
I mean...

1086
00:50:15,305 --> 00:50:16,890
She liked a very
strong martini, but...

1087
00:50:17,057 --> 00:50:21,478
I don't know how she could've
kept that a secret from me,

1088
00:50:21,645 --> 00:50:24,231
and especially
from her husband, Sean.

1089
00:50:24,398 --> 00:50:26,149
Yeah, you seem
to know Sean pretty well.

1090
00:50:26,316 --> 00:50:28,694
I... We've gotten
to know each other

1091
00:50:28,860 --> 00:50:31,905
over the last few weeks,
just as friends.

1092
00:50:32,072 --> 00:50:33,782
Uh-huh.

1093
00:50:33,949 --> 00:50:35,325
I'm guessing

1094
00:50:35,492 --> 00:50:37,411
you've never dealt
with law enforcement before.

1095
00:50:44,751 --> 00:50:46,253
- Not really, no.
- Mmm.

1096
00:50:48,714 --> 00:50:50,090
That's a really nice dress.

1097
00:50:50,257 --> 00:50:51,717
Oh, thank you.

1098
00:50:51,883 --> 00:50:53,363
Doesn't seem to be
your style, though.

1099
00:50:53,510 --> 00:50:55,887
Oh, I'm very versatile,
Detective,

1100
00:50:56,054 --> 00:50:57,639
I think you'll find.

1101
00:50:57,806 --> 00:51:00,809
I'm really just trying
to help Sean and Nicky

1102
00:51:00,976 --> 00:51:02,477
in their time of grief.

1103
00:51:02,644 --> 00:51:03,854
Oh, how is Sean's grief?

1104
00:51:04,020 --> 00:51:06,606
He's... He is holding up
very well.

1105
00:51:06,773 --> 00:51:09,109
As well as can be expected.

1106
00:51:09,276 --> 00:51:10,861
Uh-huh.

1107
00:51:11,027 --> 00:51:12,904
Is that everything, or...

1108
00:51:13,071 --> 00:51:15,615
Let me ask you something.

1109
00:51:18,326 --> 00:51:20,370
Were you aware
that he took out

1110
00:51:20,537 --> 00:51:23,457
an extra $4 million
life insurance policy

1111
00:51:23,623 --> 00:51:25,709
on Emily before
she disappeared?

1112
00:51:27,544 --> 00:51:30,464
I was not aware of that, no.

1113
00:51:30,630 --> 00:51:33,008
I... Why? How would I?

1114
00:51:34,843 --> 00:51:37,137
Okay, all right.

1115
00:51:37,304 --> 00:51:39,765
Yeah, I don't...

1116
00:51:39,931 --> 00:51:42,350
I'm sorry. What did...

1117
00:51:44,019 --> 00:51:46,646
What are you... Are you saying
he had her rubbed out?

1118
00:51:46,813 --> 00:51:50,650
He hired a hitman?

1119
00:51:50,817 --> 00:51:53,236
I didn't say anything
about him hiring a hitman.

1120
00:51:53,403 --> 00:51:54,780
You just did.

1121
00:51:54,946 --> 00:51:56,990
Okay, I can see

1122
00:51:57,157 --> 00:51:59,242
that you're enjoying yourself,
Detective Summerville.

1123
00:51:59,409 --> 00:52:01,077
But if you wanna
grill someone, you should

1124
00:52:01,244 --> 00:52:03,246
really speak to Emily's
boss, Dennis Nylon.

1125
00:52:03,413 --> 00:52:05,207
He could not be
more suspicious.

1126
00:52:05,373 --> 00:52:07,459
That's super interesting
because he contacted us

1127
00:52:07,626 --> 00:52:10,086
and he said he thought you knew
more than you were letting on.

1128
00:52:10,253 --> 00:52:12,631
Well, he... he sucks.

1129
00:52:12,798 --> 00:52:15,175
So...

1130
00:52:15,342 --> 00:52:17,761
As long as you're honest
with me, Ms. Smothers,

1131
00:52:17,928 --> 00:52:20,889
I swear to you, you have
nothing to worry about, okay?

1132
00:52:21,056 --> 00:52:24,226
I'm just following breadcrumbs
wherever they lead.

1133
00:52:24,392 --> 00:52:26,394
Okay, you know what?
I'm done for now.

1134
00:52:26,561 --> 00:52:28,271
Thanks for your time.

1135
00:52:28,438 --> 00:52:31,024
Your theory
doesn't hold water, you know,

1136
00:52:31,191 --> 00:52:32,734
because it doesn't explain

1137
00:52:32,901 --> 00:52:34,945
the fake plane ticket
or the rental car.

1138
00:52:35,111 --> 00:52:36,911
And why would someone
shoot her full of heroin

1139
00:52:36,947 --> 00:52:38,323
at a summer camp in Michigan?

1140
00:52:38,490 --> 00:52:40,551
There's plenty of good heroin
right here in Connecticut!

1141
00:52:40,575 --> 00:52:41,910
I'm told.

1142
00:52:42,077 --> 00:52:44,412
Great, good. Okay,
so we have a lot to talk about.

1143
00:52:44,579 --> 00:52:46,456
All right, then.
Enjoy the new house.

1144
00:52:46,623 --> 00:52:49,209
The worst breadcrumbs
I've ever heard of, you know.

1145
00:52:49,376 --> 00:52:51,416
Couldn't fill a Caesar salad
with those breadcrumbs!

1146
00:53:03,098 --> 00:53:05,559
Ohh! Ugh!

1147
00:53:45,015 --> 00:53:47,976
Why is this
Caesarean salad so crunchy?

1148
00:53:48,143 --> 00:53:51,146
It's Caesar salad, baby,
and it's delicious.

1149
00:53:51,313 --> 00:53:52,981
What's in it?

1150
00:53:54,399 --> 00:53:56,568
- Breadcrumbs.
- Oh.

1151
00:53:56,735 --> 00:53:58,153
How was your day at work?

1152
00:53:58,320 --> 00:53:59,738
Grim.

1153
00:53:59,905 --> 00:54:01,745
Spent most of the day
explaining the difference

1154
00:54:01,781 --> 00:54:05,493
between "your" possessive
and "you're" apostrophe R-E

1155
00:54:05,660 --> 00:54:07,454
to college juniors.

1156
00:54:08,538 --> 00:54:10,749
I can see how that might
drive a man over the edge.

1157
00:54:10,916 --> 00:54:12,834
I know, right?

1158
00:54:13,001 --> 00:54:14,419
What about you boys?

1159
00:54:14,586 --> 00:54:16,226
What'd you guys get up to
today at school?

1160
00:54:16,379 --> 00:54:17,797
I saw my mom.

1161
00:54:20,967 --> 00:54:22,010
Um...

1162
00:54:22,177 --> 00:54:23,595
I understand, Nicky,
that sometimes

1163
00:54:23,762 --> 00:54:25,889
we think we see people
that we miss

1164
00:54:26,056 --> 00:54:27,724
even if they're gone.

1165
00:54:27,891 --> 00:54:29,225
No, I saw her.

1166
00:54:29,392 --> 00:54:30,592
She was right outside
the fence

1167
00:54:30,685 --> 00:54:32,520
by the kickball yard
at recess.

1168
00:54:33,605 --> 00:54:36,232
Well, lots of people
look like someone else.

1169
00:54:36,399 --> 00:54:39,110
Nobody looks like Mom!

1170
00:54:39,277 --> 00:54:41,237
She told me
to say hi to Stephanie.

1171
00:54:41,404 --> 00:54:43,448
Nicky, this is unhealthy.

1172
00:54:43,615 --> 00:54:45,784
Miles saw her too.
Right, Miles?

1173
00:54:46,993 --> 00:54:48,453
I think I did.

1174
00:54:48,620 --> 00:54:51,122
But I don't know.
I was playing tetherball.

1175
00:54:51,289 --> 00:54:52,749
Did you two hatch this up?

1176
00:54:52,916 --> 00:54:55,144
Is this a game, like when you
smash everything with trucks?

1177
00:54:55,168 --> 00:54:56,768
Because you know
what we say about lying.

1178
00:54:56,795 --> 00:54:59,381
I'm not lying!
I saw her! Fuck you!

1179
00:54:59,547 --> 00:55:01,883
- Hey, Nicky!
- Oopsy!

1180
00:55:03,843 --> 00:55:05,261
I'm sorry.

1181
00:55:14,312 --> 00:55:16,439
Don't I get a kiss
good night?

1182
00:55:16,606 --> 00:55:18,441
Of course you do, sweetie.

1183
00:55:18,608 --> 00:55:20,360
Actually, you owe
the oopsy jar a quarter

1184
00:55:20,527 --> 00:55:22,445
for earlier, but I...

1185
00:55:28,368 --> 00:55:29,786
Good night, sweetie.

1186
00:55:39,004 --> 00:55:40,547
Hey.

1187
00:55:41,631 --> 00:55:43,299
We should get naked.

1188
00:55:45,635 --> 00:55:47,387
What is it?

1189
00:55:47,554 --> 00:55:48,722
What's wrong?

1190
00:55:48,888 --> 00:55:52,350
I smell her, Sean.
I smell her perfume.

1191
00:55:52,517 --> 00:55:54,561
It's all over Nicky
like a ghost.

1192
00:55:54,728 --> 00:55:56,229
He probably got
to her perfume bottle

1193
00:55:56,396 --> 00:55:57,856
in the medicine cabinet.

1194
00:55:58,023 --> 00:55:59,441
He misses her.

1195
00:55:59,607 --> 00:56:01,026
Okay? It's just you
being paranoid.

1196
00:56:01,192 --> 00:56:03,319
Is it? Because
I found this too.

1197
00:56:04,612 --> 00:56:05,864
What's this?

1198
00:56:06,031 --> 00:56:07,383
It's the friendship
bracelet I made her.

1199
00:56:07,407 --> 00:56:09,534
I'm afraid to say
she would not have kept this.

1200
00:56:09,701 --> 00:56:12,203
She hated stuff like this.

1201
00:56:12,370 --> 00:56:14,831
She probably gave it to him
right after you gave it to her.

1202
00:56:14,998 --> 00:56:17,250
Unless he's telling the truth.

1203
00:56:17,417 --> 00:56:19,919
You saw her
with your own eyes.

1204
00:56:20,086 --> 00:56:21,463
In her coffin.

1205
00:56:21,629 --> 00:56:23,048
There was something off.

1206
00:56:23,214 --> 00:56:25,050
They found her
at the bottom of a lake!

1207
00:56:25,216 --> 00:56:26,676
You saw her tattoo,

1208
00:56:26,843 --> 00:56:29,054
and you saw that ring
that she stole from my mother.

1209
00:56:30,847 --> 00:56:32,807
She said your mother
wanted her to have that ring.

1210
00:56:32,974 --> 00:56:34,476
She said your
mother insisted.

1211
00:56:34,642 --> 00:56:36,770
That's what she told you?

1212
00:56:36,936 --> 00:56:39,022
My father gave that ring
to my mother.

1213
00:56:39,189 --> 00:56:41,483
It was like the only bit of
jewelry that she ever owned.

1214
00:56:41,649 --> 00:56:44,694
I took Emily to London to meet
my mother after we eloped.

1215
00:56:44,861 --> 00:56:47,197
It went missing that weekend.

1216
00:56:47,363 --> 00:56:50,575
My mother was frantic.
We searched everywhere.

1217
00:56:50,742 --> 00:56:53,119
Nothing. We didn't
find a single thing.

1218
00:56:53,286 --> 00:56:55,121
<i>My mother was devastated.</i>

1219
00:56:55,288 --> 00:56:58,041
<i>So we took our flight
back to New York.</i>

1220
00:56:58,208 --> 00:57:00,085
Guess what I found.

1221
00:57:00,251 --> 00:57:02,545
What did you find?

1222
00:57:02,712 --> 00:57:04,214
No!

1223
00:57:04,380 --> 00:57:05,799
No way!

1224
00:57:05,965 --> 00:57:08,468
My little Sherlock Holmes.

1225
00:57:08,635 --> 00:57:10,345
Mum is gonna
be so relieved.

1226
00:57:10,512 --> 00:57:12,055
Oh, come on, baby.

1227
00:57:12,222 --> 00:57:15,100
Your mom will take it
to the grave. What a waste.

1228
00:57:15,266 --> 00:57:16,601
It's so pretty.

1229
00:57:16,768 --> 00:57:17,977
Excuse me.

1230
00:57:18,144 --> 00:57:20,688
Not amusing, my darling,
not in the slightest.

1231
00:57:20,855 --> 00:57:23,066
I'm not joking
in the slightest...

1232
00:57:23,233 --> 00:57:25,235
...my darling.

1233
00:57:25,401 --> 00:57:28,321
I took it. I don't have any
intention of giving it back.

1234
00:57:28,488 --> 00:57:29,864
Of course
we're gonna give it back.

1235
00:57:30,031 --> 00:57:31,407
No.

1236
00:57:31,574 --> 00:57:34,202
We'll tell her it just slipped
into your purse by accident,

1237
00:57:34,369 --> 00:57:36,371
and we've only
found it now.

1238
00:57:36,538 --> 00:57:38,206
But if you tell her
that I found it,

1239
00:57:38,373 --> 00:57:40,208
then I have to tell her
that I stole it.

1240
00:57:40,375 --> 00:57:42,377
And what do you think
will be worse for her?

1241
00:57:42,544 --> 00:57:44,420
Thinking that
she lost her ring,

1242
00:57:44,587 --> 00:57:47,298
or thinking that her son
married a thief?

1243
00:57:47,465 --> 00:57:48,800
- Baby...
- Hey.

1244
00:57:48,967 --> 00:57:51,553
You choose, her or me?

1245
00:57:54,222 --> 00:57:56,015
Meet me in the bathroom
in 20 seconds.

1246
00:57:56,182 --> 00:57:57,725
Knock twice.

1247
00:58:23,835 --> 00:58:26,880
<i>Nine months later,
Nicky was born.</i>

1248
00:58:27,046 --> 00:58:29,048
<i>How could you stay with her?</i>

1249
00:58:29,215 --> 00:58:31,217
I was spellbound.

1250
00:58:31,384 --> 00:58:33,928
She was the only woman
I could never figure out fully.

1251
00:58:34,095 --> 00:58:36,014
And as a young,
arrogant writer,

1252
00:58:36,181 --> 00:58:38,266
I could never live up
to what she expected of me.

1253
00:58:38,433 --> 00:58:40,101
I was always
looking over my shoulder.

1254
00:58:40,268 --> 00:58:41,811
I could hardly sleep.

1255
00:58:42,937 --> 00:58:44,397
But with you, it's different.

1256
00:58:44,564 --> 00:58:46,024
I sleep like a log.

1257
00:58:46,191 --> 00:58:47,671
That's what every woman
wants to hear.

1258
00:58:47,734 --> 00:58:49,027
You know what I mean.

1259
00:58:49,194 --> 00:58:50,904
You understand me,
you see me.

1260
00:58:51,070 --> 00:58:53,239
You've rebuilt me,
Stephanie.

1261
00:58:53,406 --> 00:58:55,533
I've even started
writing again.

1262
00:58:55,700 --> 00:58:57,702
First couple of chapters,

1263
00:58:57,869 --> 00:58:59,704
but it's a start.

1264
00:59:00,872 --> 00:59:02,415
Oh.

1265
00:59:03,499 --> 00:59:04,876
That's wonderful.

1266
00:59:05,043 --> 00:59:06,669
You took a broken man

1267
00:59:06,836 --> 00:59:08,630
and you pieced him
back together again.

1268
00:59:09,714 --> 00:59:11,883
You're unlike any other
woman I've ever met.

1269
00:59:13,676 --> 00:59:15,136
Move in with me.

1270
00:59:16,221 --> 00:59:17,347
Sean.

1271
00:59:17,513 --> 00:59:19,641
No, it's too soon.
What will people think?

1272
00:59:19,807 --> 00:59:21,184
They're already thinking it.

1273
00:59:21,351 --> 00:59:23,603
And I'm tired of lying.
I'm tired of pretending.

1274
00:59:23,770 --> 00:59:25,396
I want to be this man.

1275
00:59:25,563 --> 00:59:27,690
The man I am with you.

1276
00:59:27,857 --> 00:59:29,651
I don't do threesomes.

1277
00:59:29,817 --> 00:59:32,612
I want to say that. I'll just
get that out in the open.

1278
00:59:32,779 --> 00:59:34,364
What are you talking about?

1279
00:59:34,530 --> 00:59:35,990
Your TA?

1280
00:59:36,157 --> 00:59:39,285
Emily told me
about your little moment.

1281
00:59:39,452 --> 00:59:40,870
- That's what she told you?
- Yes.

1282
00:59:41,037 --> 00:59:44,165
Stephanie, listen.
Emily was a pathological liar.

1283
00:59:44,332 --> 00:59:46,960
That never happened, okay?

1284
00:59:47,126 --> 00:59:48,920
Why did you take out
a $4 million

1285
00:59:49,087 --> 00:59:50,797
insurance policy on her?

1286
00:59:50,964 --> 00:59:53,549
My gosh. Those cops really did
a number on you, didn't they?

1287
00:59:53,716 --> 00:59:56,636
- I'm being serious.
- It was because of you.

1288
00:59:56,803 --> 00:59:58,346
When Emily found out
that you had been

1289
00:59:58,513 --> 01:00:00,807
living off your husband's
insurance money,

1290
01:00:00,974 --> 01:00:03,184
she thought she and I
needed to get policies

1291
01:00:03,351 --> 01:00:05,103
out for Nicky's sake.

1292
01:00:05,270 --> 01:00:07,350
It's probably the most
responsible thing we ever did.

1293
01:00:07,397 --> 01:00:09,899
Thanks to you.

1294
01:00:11,234 --> 01:00:12,610
Move in with me.

1295
01:00:12,777 --> 01:00:15,321
We can start a whole new,
wonderful life together.

1296
01:00:15,488 --> 01:00:17,407
Just you, me and the boys.

1297
01:00:18,866 --> 01:00:21,786
Please, say yes.

1298
01:00:23,579 --> 01:00:27,041
I love you,
Stephanie Smothers.

1299
01:00:27,208 --> 01:00:29,544
I love you too.

1300
01:00:48,479 --> 01:00:50,023
Hmm...

1301
01:01:48,039 --> 01:01:50,249
<i>Hi, moms. Stephanie here.</i>

1302
01:01:50,416 --> 01:01:51,667
<i>I'm gonna do something</i>

1303
01:01:51,834 --> 01:01:53,002
<i>a little different today.</i>

1304
01:01:53,169 --> 01:01:54,337
<i>I normally avoid any talk</i>

1305
01:01:54,504 --> 01:01:55,671
<i>of religion on the vlog.</i>

1306
01:01:55,838 --> 01:01:56,881
<i>I don't wanna offend any</i>

1307
01:01:57,048 --> 01:01:58,216
<i>non-denominational moms.</i>

1308
01:01:58,383 --> 01:01:59,759
<i>But I do think that we live on</i>

1309
01:01:59,926 --> 01:02:01,511
<i>after we die, so...</i>

1310
01:02:03,054 --> 01:02:06,766
<i>Emily, if you are out there,</i>

1311
01:02:06,933 --> 01:02:09,060
<i>and you can hear me
right now,</i>

1312
01:02:09,227 --> 01:02:11,312
<i>no one could ever replace you.</i>

1313
01:02:11,479 --> 01:02:14,023
<i>And you'll always be
Nicky's mom.</i>

1314
01:02:14,190 --> 01:02:16,692
<i>I can't take your place.</i>

1315
01:02:16,859 --> 01:02:21,030
<i>I can just try to love
the people that you love</i>

1316
01:02:21,197 --> 01:02:23,241
<i>and try to make
their lives better.</i>

1317
01:02:23,408 --> 01:02:25,618
<i>I think that's what
you would want.</i>

1318
01:02:26,661 --> 01:02:29,872
♪ I think I'll go
for a walk outside now... ♪

1319
01:02:30,039 --> 01:02:32,750
Okay, guys, it's getting
too rough back there.

1320
01:02:32,917 --> 01:02:34,377
I murdered you!

1321
01:02:34,544 --> 01:02:37,130
Not me.
I came back to life.

1322
01:02:37,296 --> 01:02:38,798
Like your mom!

1323
01:02:38,965 --> 01:02:40,609
Okay, the dolls
are going in your backpacks

1324
01:02:40,633 --> 01:02:42,301
or they're going
in the trash, I mean it.

1325
01:02:42,468 --> 01:02:44,762
Mom, they're
not dolls! God!

1326
01:02:44,929 --> 01:02:48,141
Stephanie, my mom told me
to give you this.

1327
01:02:49,434 --> 01:02:50,977
Mom!

1328
01:02:58,067 --> 01:02:59,861
Damn! Are you
trying to kill us?

1329
01:03:19,297 --> 01:03:20,465
Hello?

1330
01:03:20,631 --> 01:03:22,776
<i>Hi, I'm calling from United
Timeshare International.</i>

1331
01:03:22,800 --> 01:03:24,177
Yep, I...

1332
01:03:24,343 --> 01:03:26,303
<i>We'd like to offer you
a free trip to the Bahamas.</i>

1333
01:03:26,387 --> 01:03:27,889
<i>All you have to do
is come down to...</i>

1334
01:03:28,055 --> 01:03:30,099
I don't want that. I'm sorry.
I... Have a nice day.

1335
01:03:30,266 --> 01:03:31,767
I don't want that.
I don't care.

1336
01:03:31,934 --> 01:03:33,895
Oh, my God.

1337
01:03:37,773 --> 01:03:39,442
Hi, I'm sure you
have a job to do.

1338
01:03:39,609 --> 01:03:41,402
- I don't need a free trip...
<i>- Hi.</i>

1339
01:03:44,197 --> 01:03:45,781
<i>Brotherfucker.</i>

1340
01:03:48,409 --> 01:03:50,745
- Emily?
<i>- No, no, Emily's dead.</i>

1341
01:03:50,912 --> 01:03:53,372
<i>Oh, no, have you
forgotten already?</i>

1342
01:03:53,539 --> 01:03:55,124
- Where are you?
<i>- I'm in heaven.</i>

1343
01:03:55,291 --> 01:03:57,001
<i>Watching over you.</i>

1344
01:03:57,168 --> 01:03:59,086
<i>Nice blouse, by the way.</i>

1345
01:04:01,339 --> 01:04:02,840
Why are you doing this?

1346
01:04:03,007 --> 01:04:04,717
<i>How do you know
it's just me doing it?</i>

1347
01:04:04,884 --> 01:04:07,303
<i>Hey, hey, hey,
kiss Sean for me,</i>

1348
01:04:07,470 --> 01:04:09,597
<i>four million times.</i>

1349
01:04:14,769 --> 01:04:15,811
Oh, hey.

1350
01:04:15,978 --> 01:04:17,772
Are you trying
to Diabolique me?

1351
01:04:17,939 --> 01:04:19,148
What are you
talking about?

1352
01:04:19,315 --> 01:04:20,483
'Diabolique', you know?

1353
01:04:20,650 --> 01:04:22,443
The French movie
about the guy

1354
01:04:22,610 --> 01:04:24,421
whose wife and mistress,
they're trying to kill him.

1355
01:04:24,445 --> 01:04:26,256
But I don't have
a $4 million insurance policy.

1356
01:04:26,280 --> 01:04:27,490
Stephanie...

1357
01:04:27,657 --> 01:04:29,450
If you and Emily
have some kind of plan...

1358
01:04:29,617 --> 01:04:31,303
- Stephanie, relax.
- ...please just call it off.

1359
01:04:31,327 --> 01:04:33,829
- I'm really not the one.
- Just breathe, please.

1360
01:04:33,996 --> 01:04:36,123
Nicky's getting to you.
Emily is dead.

1361
01:04:36,290 --> 01:04:37,625
She called me.

1362
01:04:38,709 --> 01:04:40,962
- What?
- She called me today.

1363
01:04:41,128 --> 01:04:42,523
I have a friend
in the psychology department.

1364
01:04:42,547 --> 01:04:43,732
I'll give him a call.

1365
01:04:43,756 --> 01:04:45,216
Hey, handsome,
you got time...

1366
01:04:45,383 --> 01:04:48,261
I am sorry. I didn't know
you were in a meeting.

1367
01:04:48,427 --> 01:04:51,138
- Beth, this is Stephanie.
- Nice to meet you.

1368
01:04:51,305 --> 01:04:52,890
Nice to meet you.

1369
01:04:53,057 --> 01:04:54,934
I was just wondering
if you needed

1370
01:04:55,101 --> 01:04:56,978
to use the SMART board,
'cause it's broken.

1371
01:04:57,144 --> 01:04:59,730
- I can live without it.
- All right.

1372
01:04:59,897 --> 01:05:01,440
All right.

1373
01:05:02,942 --> 01:05:05,736
- She seems nice.
- Stephanie, go home.

1374
01:05:05,903 --> 01:05:07,663
Emily had some Xanax
in the medicine cabinet.

1375
01:05:07,822 --> 01:05:09,115
Take one. Take two.

1376
01:05:09,282 --> 01:05:11,534
Yeah. Maybe she has some
heroin lying around. Hmm?

1377
01:05:11,701 --> 01:05:14,662
This is all just grief.
Just stages of grief.

1378
01:05:14,829 --> 01:05:16,789
I'm sorry, you're right.

1379
01:05:16,956 --> 01:05:19,458
I'm so overwhelmed and I...

1380
01:05:19,625 --> 01:05:21,961
I'm sorry.

1381
01:05:26,340 --> 01:05:29,343
<i>Oh, baby, you just
need someone to love you.</i>

1382
01:05:30,511 --> 01:05:33,639
I have you.
All you need is a good friend.

1383
01:05:33,806 --> 01:05:35,766
Come on.
Don't you miss sex?

1384
01:05:35,933 --> 01:05:38,436
Having a man fuck you
on top of a washing machine?

1385
01:05:38,603 --> 01:05:41,439
Barely remember
what it's like.

1386
01:05:41,606 --> 01:05:42,732
Why are you
such a masochist?

1387
01:05:42,898 --> 01:05:44,942
You could have a man
in your bed anytime you want.

1388
01:05:45,109 --> 01:05:47,486
- I had a man. I ruined that.
- What does that mean?

1389
01:05:47,653 --> 01:05:49,780
- Come on. What does that mean?
- No...

1390
01:05:49,947 --> 01:05:51,907
If you can't tell me,
you can't tell anyone.

1391
01:05:52,074 --> 01:05:53,492
I'm your best friend.

1392
01:06:13,387 --> 01:06:15,389
Let's go see Daddy.

1393
01:06:19,268 --> 01:06:20,478
<i>I just want the truth.</i>

1394
01:06:20,645 --> 01:06:22,122
<i>What are you talking about?</i>

1395
01:06:22,146 --> 01:06:24,440
About Miles and Chris.

1396
01:06:24,607 --> 01:06:27,151
Chris? My brother, Chris?

1397
01:06:27,318 --> 01:06:29,070
- I don't...
- Yeah, your brother.

1398
01:06:29,236 --> 01:06:30,946
And you certainly
don't act like it.

1399
01:06:31,113 --> 01:06:34,492
Sometimes it's more like
you guys are lovers, right?

1400
01:06:36,535 --> 01:06:38,371
That's disgusting. That's...

1401
01:06:38,537 --> 01:06:40,414
Is Miles mine or not?

1402
01:06:42,291 --> 01:06:43,501
Oh, my God!

1403
01:06:43,668 --> 01:06:45,711
Are you listening
to yourself?

1404
01:06:45,878 --> 01:06:47,171
You sound ridiculous.

1405
01:06:47,338 --> 01:06:48,881
Yeah.

1406
01:06:55,680 --> 01:06:58,099
Davis! Davis!

1407
01:06:58,265 --> 01:06:59,600
Where are you going?

1408
01:06:59,767 --> 01:07:01,310
Da... Where are you going?
Davis?

1409
01:07:01,477 --> 01:07:02,853
Steph, it's all right.
Don't worry.

1410
01:07:03,020 --> 01:07:04,563
We're just gonna
go for a drive.

1411
01:07:04,730 --> 01:07:07,066
Have a little talk.
Man to man. No problem.

1412
01:07:27,545 --> 01:07:29,463
<i>It's my fault.</i>

1413
01:07:31,382 --> 01:07:32,967
I'm the reason
they're both dead.

1414
01:07:33,134 --> 01:07:34,510
No.

1415
01:07:34,677 --> 01:07:36,762
Hey, don't do that.

1416
01:07:36,929 --> 01:07:38,764
People... people
do terrible things

1417
01:07:38,931 --> 01:07:40,391
for their own
fucked-up reasons.

1418
01:07:40,558 --> 01:07:42,393
- That's on them, not on you.
- Yeah.

1419
01:07:44,937 --> 01:07:46,856
I miss him.

1420
01:07:47,022 --> 01:07:48,566
Which one?

1421
01:07:50,317 --> 01:07:51,902
Both.

1422
01:07:52,987 --> 01:07:56,198
I'm lonely.

1423
01:07:57,324 --> 01:07:59,084
I think loneliness
probably kills more people

1424
01:07:59,118 --> 01:08:00,661
than cancer.

1425
01:08:03,456 --> 01:08:05,916
Hey, come here.

1426
01:08:07,334 --> 01:08:09,003
Come here.

1427
01:08:24,852 --> 01:08:27,772
You're okay.
Want to order pizza?

1428
01:08:32,485 --> 01:08:35,488
Oh, God. God,
I'm so embarrassed.

1429
01:08:35,654 --> 01:08:40,242
Oh, because of that?
No, hey. It's all good, baby.

1430
01:08:40,409 --> 01:08:42,828
It's all good.
Just another Tuesday.

1431
01:09:25,162 --> 01:09:26,872
<i>Go away.</i>

1432
01:09:27,039 --> 01:09:29,124
Diana Hyland?

1433
01:09:29,291 --> 01:09:31,585
Did you paint this?

1434
01:09:43,347 --> 01:09:44,932
Where on Earth
did you find it?

1435
01:09:45,099 --> 01:09:48,811
I should start by giving you
some unfortunate news. Um...

1436
01:09:48,978 --> 01:09:50,521
Emily's dead.

1437
01:09:50,688 --> 01:09:52,481
My condolences.

1438
01:09:52,648 --> 01:09:54,316
Who the fuck is Emily?

1439
01:09:54,483 --> 01:09:56,735
The girl in the painting.

1440
01:10:00,072 --> 01:10:02,283
Good. Her name's not Emily.

1441
01:10:02,449 --> 01:10:03,617
Her name's Claudia.

1442
01:10:03,784 --> 01:10:07,079
Rest in peace, asshole.

1443
01:10:07,246 --> 01:10:09,290
So, not a pleasant memory
for you, then?

1444
01:10:09,456 --> 01:10:11,917
No, opposite.
She was amazing.

1445
01:10:12,084 --> 01:10:15,004
I mean, she was the best
that I ever had.

1446
01:10:15,170 --> 01:10:16,547
I was selling paintings.

1447
01:10:16,714 --> 01:10:18,090
You know,
it was the first time

1448
01:10:18,257 --> 01:10:20,009
in my career
that I had any buzz.

1449
01:10:20,175 --> 01:10:22,094
She walked
into my gallery.

1450
01:10:22,261 --> 01:10:24,513
A real fucking muse
just right out of thin air.

1451
01:10:24,680 --> 01:10:27,641
- What happened?
- She was all I could paint.

1452
01:10:28,851 --> 01:10:31,478
I memorized
every inch of her body.

1453
01:10:31,645 --> 01:10:33,022
My dealer fucking hated it.

1454
01:10:33,188 --> 01:10:34,690
And the art critics
fucking hated it.

1455
01:10:34,857 --> 01:10:37,651
They called me a knockoff,
a dyke Mapplethorpe.

1456
01:10:37,818 --> 01:10:41,030
Anyway, I blew my whole career
painting that con artist.

1457
01:10:41,196 --> 01:10:43,282
Now all I paint
are these goddamn knives,

1458
01:10:43,449 --> 01:10:45,784
which are pretty good, but
nobody wants to buy this shit.

1459
01:10:45,951 --> 01:10:49,204
Oh, what? They're so good.
People are just jealous.

1460
01:10:52,625 --> 01:10:54,460
I haven't had a drink
in 42 days.

1461
01:10:54,627 --> 01:10:57,588
- Oh, don't...
- Might as well celebrate.

1462
01:10:57,755 --> 01:11:00,174
Mmm, well, cheers.

1463
01:11:02,843 --> 01:11:05,804
I gave her my heart
and I gave her my soul.

1464
01:11:05,971 --> 01:11:09,725
I paid for her
to go to college.

1465
01:11:09,892 --> 01:11:11,310
I paid off her debts.

1466
01:11:11,477 --> 01:11:13,270
Did you ever
see any heroin use?

1467
01:11:13,437 --> 01:11:15,439
No. No way, her?

1468
01:11:15,606 --> 01:11:16,941
No, she didn't touch it.

1469
01:11:17,107 --> 01:11:18,317
Shit.

1470
01:11:18,484 --> 01:11:21,987
She never let me paint
her face except for this one.

1471
01:11:22,154 --> 01:11:24,907
I've never seen
such a beautiful girl

1472
01:11:25,074 --> 01:11:26,659
want to be so invisible

1473
01:11:26,825 --> 01:11:28,702
or just completely vanish.

1474
01:11:28,869 --> 01:11:32,039
But you know what,
it takes money to vanish.

1475
01:11:32,206 --> 01:11:36,293
And so she took everything
that she could from me.

1476
01:11:37,586 --> 01:11:39,546
You know
how I would paint you?

1477
01:11:41,215 --> 01:11:43,300
Beatific.

1478
01:11:43,467 --> 01:11:45,678
Like... like a fucking saint.

1479
01:11:45,844 --> 01:11:47,846
I get that a lot.

1480
01:11:48,013 --> 01:11:51,433
You should embrace it.
People love saints.

1481
01:11:51,600 --> 01:11:53,769
Yeah. After they're dead.

1482
01:11:55,479 --> 01:11:57,523
Okay. What do you know
about her? How did she die?

1483
01:11:57,690 --> 01:11:59,274
In a lake.

1484
01:11:59,441 --> 01:12:01,068
On heroin.

1485
01:12:04,113 --> 01:12:06,198
Well, you don't believe that
or you wouldn't be here.

1486
01:12:06,365 --> 01:12:09,451
She didn't ever mention
Michigan, did she?

1487
01:12:09,618 --> 01:12:11,161
Huh.

1488
01:12:16,291 --> 01:12:19,503
That is the only thing
that she ever left here.

1489
01:12:19,670 --> 01:12:21,922
She said she had it
since she was a kid.

1490
01:12:25,009 --> 01:12:27,886
I warn you, you go
poking around in her past,

1491
01:12:28,053 --> 01:12:30,347
you're gonna find
some shit that is terrifying.

1492
01:12:30,514 --> 01:12:33,934
She was not a normal person
like you or me.

1493
01:12:34,101 --> 01:12:35,978
Sean, it's Stephanie...

1494
01:12:36,145 --> 01:12:37,688
I thought about
what you said.

1495
01:12:37,855 --> 01:12:40,357
And you're right.
These are just stages of grief.

1496
01:12:40,524 --> 01:12:42,544
This experience has been
so stressful for both of us,

1497
01:12:42,568 --> 01:12:44,236
I'm gonna take
a couple of days to myself.

1498
01:12:44,403 --> 01:12:45,779
I'll have Sona pick up the boys,

1499
01:12:45,946 --> 01:12:47,466
and they can stay
at her house tonight.

1500
01:12:47,531 --> 01:12:49,074
You should take
some time too.

1501
01:12:49,241 --> 01:12:50,826
There's ham stew
in the freezer.

1502
01:12:50,993 --> 01:12:52,713
Five minutes in the microwave.
Lots of love.

1503
01:12:54,496 --> 01:12:56,290
Yeah,
we've been saving young souls

1504
01:12:56,457 --> 01:12:58,042
going on 50 years now.

1505
01:12:58,208 --> 01:13:00,044
Not Bobby and me personally.

1506
01:13:00,210 --> 01:13:01,712
Well, it seems just perfect!

1507
01:13:01,879 --> 01:13:03,279
And my son's
practically a porpoise,

1508
01:13:03,422 --> 01:13:05,302
so I know he's gonna love
swimming in that pond.

1509
01:13:05,424 --> 01:13:06,759
Oh, that's Squaw Lake!

1510
01:13:06,925 --> 01:13:08,927
The kids all joke
that it's holy water.

1511
01:13:09,094 --> 01:13:10,679
Any fish
you pull out of there

1512
01:13:10,846 --> 01:13:12,556
is guaranteed
to feed a multitude.

1513
01:13:12,723 --> 01:13:15,225
Oh! Oh. That's so funny.

1514
01:13:15,392 --> 01:13:19,646
Um... have you guys
got any old photo albums

1515
01:13:19,813 --> 01:13:21,523
or a yearbook I could look at?

1516
01:13:21,690 --> 01:13:23,293
I always feel like
there's no better review

1517
01:13:23,317 --> 01:13:24,985
of a place than the faces
of the campers.

1518
01:13:25,152 --> 01:13:27,446
Oh, heck, yeah. We got a ton
of 'em down in the basement.

1519
01:13:27,613 --> 01:13:28,906
You'll see nothing but smiles.

1520
01:13:51,845 --> 01:13:54,139
Hope and Faith.

1521
01:13:56,767 --> 01:13:59,978
Hi. I'm looking
for the McLanden Foundation.

1522
01:14:00,145 --> 01:14:02,439
Is this Margaret McLanden?

1523
01:14:02,606 --> 01:14:03,899
<i>Who's this?</i>

1524
01:14:04,066 --> 01:14:06,819
Yeah. Hi, there. My name's
Maryanne Chelkowsky.

1525
01:14:06,985 --> 01:14:08,987
I'm the director
of the Squaw Lake Bible Camp.

1526
01:14:09,154 --> 01:14:10,531
<i>What do you want?</i>

1527
01:14:10,697 --> 01:14:13,033
Well, we are putting together
the 50th anniversary

1528
01:14:13,200 --> 01:14:14,827
edition of our camp gazette.

1529
01:14:14,993 --> 01:14:16,787
We're trying to track down
some star alumni.

1530
01:14:16,954 --> 01:14:19,957
<i>Are you any relation to
Hope and Faith McLanden?</i>

1531
01:14:20,124 --> 01:14:22,042
<i>- Hello?
- Bruce, it's that camp.</i>

1532
01:14:22,209 --> 01:14:24,211
<i>The girls must have done
something again and...</i>

1533
01:14:24,378 --> 01:14:25,898
<i>The girls
are long gone, Mrs. M.</i>

1534
01:14:26,004 --> 01:14:27,464
<i>You just go on back
to your chair.</i>

1535
01:14:27,631 --> 01:14:29,951
<i>But it's filthy there,
Bruce. I've asked you a...</i>

1536
01:14:30,008 --> 01:14:31,426
Gotcha.

1537
01:15:14,720 --> 01:15:16,555
Take your time, Bruce.

1538
01:15:38,577 --> 01:15:40,287
Mrs. McLanden?

1539
01:15:41,496 --> 01:15:43,916
Hi, I'm Gloria
from the cleaning service.

1540
01:15:44,082 --> 01:15:45,542
- Who?
- Didn't Bruce tell you?

1541
01:15:45,709 --> 01:15:48,003
I'm supposed to clean the
entire place until you could eat

1542
01:15:48,170 --> 01:15:49,922
a four-course meal
off the floor.

1543
01:15:50,088 --> 01:15:51,298
Did I get the date...

1544
01:15:51,465 --> 01:15:52,883
Shoot!

1545
01:15:56,845 --> 01:15:59,223
Start in my
upstairs bathroom.

1546
01:16:04,478 --> 01:16:06,478
It's not lying
if I'm actually cleaning.

1547
01:16:24,248 --> 01:16:26,917
Bruce!
The fire's dying!

1548
01:16:28,210 --> 01:16:29,753
Bruce!

1549
01:16:43,600 --> 01:16:45,269
I couldn't help noticing

1550
01:16:45,435 --> 01:16:47,521
that lovely picture
of your daughters.

1551
01:16:47,688 --> 01:16:50,232
Where... where's Bruce?

1552
01:16:50,399 --> 01:16:52,401
- Bruce!
- Oh, um...

1553
01:16:52,567 --> 01:16:55,028
Bruce had to go out. Um...

1554
01:16:55,195 --> 01:16:58,407
So your daughter, Faith...

1555
01:16:58,573 --> 01:16:59,992
She had some trouble,
I gather?

1556
01:17:00,158 --> 01:17:02,452
Troubles!

1557
01:17:02,619 --> 01:17:05,247
Troubles would've
been a vacation.

1558
01:17:06,498 --> 01:17:09,251
That child came
straight from hell.

1559
01:17:09,418 --> 01:17:12,045
That's a very strong
statement for a mother.

1560
01:17:12,212 --> 01:17:14,673
- Are you a mother?
- Yes.

1561
01:17:14,840 --> 01:17:16,550
I love every minute of it.

1562
01:17:16,717 --> 01:17:18,510
Aww.

1563
01:17:18,677 --> 01:17:20,512
Then you must have
brain damage.

1564
01:17:20,679 --> 01:17:22,556
It's a thankless business.

1565
01:17:22,723 --> 01:17:24,975
And some children
are just born rotten.

1566
01:17:25,142 --> 01:17:27,477
They don't need a parent.

1567
01:17:27,644 --> 01:17:29,146
They need an exorcist.

1568
01:17:29,313 --> 01:17:31,315
My husband understood that.

1569
01:17:31,481 --> 01:17:33,984
Okay, now, just... Wait.

1570
01:17:34,151 --> 01:17:35,444
Don't. Don't tell Bruce!

1571
01:17:35,610 --> 01:17:37,487
- No.
- Bingo!

1572
01:17:37,654 --> 01:17:40,741
It's unseemly,
the way that man polices me.

1573
01:17:40,907 --> 01:17:42,534
Would you like
some sherry?

1574
01:17:42,701 --> 01:17:44,369
Oh, no, thank you.
You're very sweet.

1575
01:17:44,536 --> 01:17:46,288
Wait, that's...

1576
01:17:46,455 --> 01:17:48,915
That's not sherry.
That's the gin.

1577
01:17:49,082 --> 01:17:50,584
Where's the sherry?

1578
01:17:50,751 --> 01:17:52,377
Must be behind
the Sylvia Plath.

1579
01:17:52,544 --> 01:17:54,171
What ever happened
to Faith?

1580
01:17:54,338 --> 01:17:56,256
Oh, everything. Everything.

1581
01:17:56,423 --> 01:17:59,551
We spent so much money
on her rehab.

1582
01:17:59,718 --> 01:18:02,012
Hope tried to help
take care of her

1583
01:18:02,179 --> 01:18:03,555
and get her...

1584
01:18:03,722 --> 01:18:05,557
...off that stuff.

1585
01:18:05,724 --> 01:18:07,934
Of course, Hope's a born
liar with terrible posture.

1586
01:18:08,101 --> 01:18:10,270
Uh, Mrs. McLanden?

1587
01:18:10,437 --> 01:18:13,940
Do you... do you know
the person in this photograph?

1588
01:18:16,651 --> 01:18:19,321
That's Faith. That's Faith!

1589
01:18:19,488 --> 01:18:21,073
Now, why are you...
Did she send you?

1590
01:18:21,239 --> 01:18:23,051
- No, I'm not even sure...
- Are you the police?

1591
01:18:23,075 --> 01:18:24,409
No, I'm just ask...

1592
01:18:24,576 --> 01:18:26,244
I have told you people
a thousand times.

1593
01:18:26,411 --> 01:18:29,289
My memory is not good anymore.
It will not stand up in court.

1594
01:18:29,456 --> 01:18:31,041
The night of that fire,

1595
01:18:31,208 --> 01:18:32,876
my husband and I
were estranged.

1596
01:18:33,043 --> 01:18:34,603
We lived in separate wings
of the house.

1597
01:18:34,753 --> 01:18:36,922
The fire that burned down
the west wing?

1598
01:18:37,089 --> 01:18:39,299
Are you an insurance agent?

1599
01:18:40,384 --> 01:18:42,886
- Yes.
- Oh!

1600
01:18:43,053 --> 01:18:45,722
Oh, good! Oh, good, good.

1601
01:18:45,889 --> 01:18:48,558
Oh, Bruce and I have been
waiting for the insurance money.

1602
01:18:48,725 --> 01:18:52,229
Of course, you assholes
had that clause about arson.

1603
01:18:52,396 --> 01:18:54,481
- Right, arson. Yeah.
- Vultures.

1604
01:18:54,648 --> 01:18:56,483
Here's to being house poor!

1605
01:18:56,650 --> 01:18:58,570
You ain't supposed
to be drinking, Mrs. M.

1606
01:18:58,735 --> 01:19:00,404
- Who are you?
- Well, uh...

1607
01:19:00,570 --> 01:19:02,656
Thank you so much
for your time, Mrs. McLanden.

1608
01:19:02,823 --> 01:19:05,534
I will get you that
faux Givenchy suit in ivory

1609
01:19:05,700 --> 01:19:07,369
and the scarf in taupe.

1610
01:19:07,536 --> 01:19:10,622
I will put a rush on it!
Thank you for your order!

1611
01:19:10,789 --> 01:19:12,582
Shit.

1612
01:19:49,411 --> 01:19:51,037
Where do you think
you're going?

1613
01:19:51,204 --> 01:19:52,664
Uh...

1614
01:19:52,831 --> 01:19:55,876
I wanted to order
the navy blazer.

1615
01:19:56,042 --> 01:19:57,669
Extra large.

1616
01:19:57,836 --> 01:19:59,796
Great.

1617
01:20:04,593 --> 01:20:06,386
Hello.

1618
01:20:06,553 --> 01:20:08,013
What do you want, cupcake?

1619
01:20:08,180 --> 01:20:09,980
I'm looking for
all the Wayne County

1620
01:20:10,140 --> 01:20:12,642
arson-related news items
for the last 20 years.

1621
01:20:22,068 --> 01:20:24,154
<i>Hi, moms, Stephanie here.</i>

1622
01:20:24,321 --> 01:20:26,573
<i>I'm coming to you
from Michigan.</i>

1623
01:20:26,740 --> 01:20:29,159
<i>Special on-the-road edition.</i>

1624
01:20:30,785 --> 01:20:32,829
<i>As many of you know,</i>

1625
01:20:32,996 --> 01:20:34,456
<i>I was struggling
to find closure</i>

1626
01:20:34,623 --> 01:20:36,374
<i>surrounding the death
of my best friend.</i>

1627
01:20:36,541 --> 01:20:39,419
<i>So I drove up to the lake
where she drowned</i>

1628
01:20:39,586 --> 01:20:41,296
<i>to see if I could...</i>

1629
01:20:41,463 --> 01:20:43,131
<i>...dredge something up.</i>

1630
01:20:43,298 --> 01:20:44,716
Oh, shit.

1631
01:20:44,883 --> 01:20:46,593
Well, it turns out
this is the site

1632
01:20:46,760 --> 01:20:48,803
of many a canoe race at

1633
01:20:48,970 --> 01:20:50,388
<i>the Squaw Lake Bible Camp.</i>

1634
01:20:50,555 --> 01:20:52,474
<i>I had to dig through
a bunch of camp journals,</i>

1635
01:20:52,641 --> 01:20:55,727
<i>and I found a photo of Emily,</i>

1636
01:20:55,894 --> 01:20:57,979
<i>whose middle name is Claudia.</i>

1637
01:20:58,146 --> 01:20:59,731
<i>Not pretty. I didn't know that.</i>

1638
01:20:59,898 --> 01:21:03,276
You crazy fucking bitch.

1639
01:21:03,443 --> 01:21:05,529
It's like looking at
an angel, isn't it, moms?

1640
01:21:05,695 --> 01:21:07,239
Brotherfucker.

1641
01:21:07,405 --> 01:21:09,282
And it gave me
the closure I needed.

1642
01:21:09,449 --> 01:21:11,701
<i>I feel closer to Emily
than I've ever felt.</i>

1643
01:21:11,868 --> 01:21:13,411
<i>Almost like a twin.</i>

1644
01:21:13,578 --> 01:21:15,497
Emily, wherever you are...

1645
01:21:17,290 --> 01:21:20,502
...I hope that
you're listening,

1646
01:21:20,669 --> 01:21:22,796
and you gotta have faith.

1647
01:21:23,964 --> 01:21:26,758
Brotherfucker!

1648
01:21:31,012 --> 01:21:34,266
♪ I'm street regulator,
true player hater

1649
01:21:34,432 --> 01:21:36,643
♪ Get back down, make your ass
a Mac-sprayer hater... ♪

1650
01:21:36,810 --> 01:21:38,395
♪ Things that we need

1651
01:21:38,562 --> 01:21:39,896
♪ Money, clothes,
weed, indeed

1652
01:21:40,063 --> 01:21:42,190
♪ Hot food, booze
Essentials, credentials

1653
01:21:42,357 --> 01:21:44,693
♪ Code of the streets
Owners who creep

1654
01:21:44,859 --> 01:21:47,112
♪ Slow when you sleep
Holdin' the heat

1655
01:21:47,279 --> 01:21:49,406
♪ Put holes in your jeep
Respect the streets

1656
01:21:49,573 --> 01:21:52,909
♪ It's the L-I-L-F-A-M-E... ♪

1657
01:21:53,952 --> 01:21:55,453
Mom's home!

1658
01:21:55,620 --> 01:21:57,247
Oh, Smoochie-smooch?

1659
01:21:57,414 --> 01:21:58,790
Oh, my goodness!

1660
01:21:58,957 --> 01:22:00,434
Smooch, I missed
you so much!

1661
01:22:00,458 --> 01:22:02,168
Where were you?

1662
01:22:02,335 --> 01:22:04,212
And why did we have to sleep
at Hector's house?

1663
01:22:04,379 --> 01:22:07,591
- He pees the bed!
- Oh! Hector's the worst!

1664
01:22:07,757 --> 01:22:09,277
They could've stayed
with me, you know.

1665
01:22:10,677 --> 01:22:12,596
I thought we all
needed a breather.

1666
01:22:12,762 --> 01:22:14,598
Now I feel like
a million bucks.

1667
01:22:14,764 --> 01:22:16,433
Maybe even four.

1668
01:22:19,477 --> 01:22:21,146
Hi, my name's Beth.

1669
01:22:21,313 --> 01:22:23,193
I'm calling on behalf of
my boss, Sean Townsend,

1670
01:22:23,315 --> 01:22:24,795
about his wife,
Emily Nelson's policy.

1671
01:22:24,858 --> 01:22:30,238
The number is CT7602258001.

1672
01:22:30,405 --> 01:22:32,073
Can you tell me the name
of the agent

1673
01:22:32,240 --> 01:22:33,520
who handles
that account, please?

1674
01:22:33,617 --> 01:22:35,452
<i>Dear Miss Prager,
my name is Bruce Hargrave.</i>

1675
01:22:35,619 --> 01:22:37,430
<i>I'm writing to you about
a case you're handling</i>

1676
01:22:37,454 --> 01:22:38,955
<i>for Emily Nelson,
recently deceased.</i>

1677
01:22:39,122 --> 01:22:40,707
<i>I have been the caretaker</i>

1678
01:22:40,874 --> 01:22:42,274
<i>of her family estate
for many years.</i>

1679
01:22:42,334 --> 01:22:43,793
<i>What I have to say
will sound crazy,</i>

1680
01:22:43,960 --> 01:22:45,840
<i>but years ago, my employer
died in a house fire.</i>

1681
01:22:45,920 --> 01:22:47,356
<i>His teen daughters,
Hope and Faith McLanden,</i>

1682
01:22:47,380 --> 01:22:48,715
<i>disappeared without a trace.</i>

1683
01:22:48,882 --> 01:22:50,042
<i>I'm attaching an old photo...</i>

1684
01:22:50,091 --> 01:22:51,509
Hi, this is Sean Townsend.

1685
01:22:51,676 --> 01:22:53,511
I was meant to meet
Billy Kent for lunch.

1686
01:22:54,971 --> 01:22:56,222
What do you mean?

1687
01:22:56,389 --> 01:22:59,017
You guys called two days ago
to organize this.

1688
01:23:03,229 --> 01:23:05,982
No, never mind.
I'll call him back.

1689
01:23:06,149 --> 01:23:07,692
Boo.

1690
01:23:12,906 --> 01:23:14,282
Oh, come on, you dumb shit.

1691
01:23:14,449 --> 01:23:15,801
We've spent
every anniversary here.

1692
01:23:15,825 --> 01:23:17,410
How could you not
put it together?

1693
01:23:17,577 --> 01:23:20,497
- Emily, why?
- I have 4 million reasons why.

1694
01:23:20,664 --> 01:23:23,625
- How could you do this to Nicky?
- I did this for Nicky.

1695
01:23:23,792 --> 01:23:25,669
I hated that job.
I never got to see him.

1696
01:23:25,835 --> 01:23:27,835
It's not like we could
live off your faculty buffet

1697
01:23:27,879 --> 01:23:29,339
the rest of our lives,
could we?

1698
01:23:29,506 --> 01:23:31,299
I grieved your death.

1699
01:23:31,466 --> 01:23:33,051
I understand.

1700
01:23:33,218 --> 01:23:34,636
You're not alone.

1701
01:23:34,803 --> 01:23:37,055
They say that 90% of people
who lose their spouse

1702
01:23:37,222 --> 01:23:38,991
end up sleeping with
their spouse's best friend

1703
01:23:39,015 --> 01:23:40,725
after their funeral, actually.

1704
01:23:40,892 --> 01:23:42,018
Really?

1705
01:23:42,185 --> 01:23:45,146
No, I just made that up,
you fucking dick.

1706
01:23:45,313 --> 01:23:46,856
That's how you grieve?

1707
01:23:47,023 --> 01:23:48,400
Balls deep
in my best friend?

1708
01:23:48,566 --> 01:23:49,943
You could've
told me something.

1709
01:23:50,110 --> 01:23:52,030
Except you can't keep
a secret, even in the dark.

1710
01:23:52,195 --> 01:23:54,572
- Anything.
- You almost ruined everything.

1711
01:23:56,408 --> 01:23:59,077
I had to lay low until the
insurance money came through.

1712
01:23:59,244 --> 01:24:01,830
And so why didn't
you stay low? Hmm?

1713
01:24:01,996 --> 01:24:04,791
- Instead you terrorized our son.
- I didn't terrorize him.

1714
01:24:04,958 --> 01:24:06,626
You made me think
that he had gone insane

1715
01:24:06,793 --> 01:24:07,961
as well as Stephanie.

1716
01:24:08,128 --> 01:24:10,338
I missed him too much.

1717
01:24:10,505 --> 01:24:12,257
He's my little dude.

1718
01:24:12,424 --> 01:24:14,718
You know how much
I love that kid.

1719
01:24:16,594 --> 01:24:18,054
Well, the clock is ticking now.

1720
01:24:18,221 --> 01:24:19,973
Nancy Drew knows too much.

1721
01:24:20,140 --> 01:24:22,100
If she fucks up my insurance
money coming through,

1722
01:24:22,142 --> 01:24:23,685
I'm taking you
down with me.

1723
01:24:23,852 --> 01:24:25,395
You're taking me
down with you?

1724
01:24:25,562 --> 01:24:27,039
Well, of course,
this was all your plan.

1725
01:24:27,063 --> 01:24:28,982
My plan?
I had nothing to do with it...

1726
01:24:29,149 --> 01:24:30,942
Why are you
playing dumb now?

1727
01:24:31,109 --> 01:24:32,610
...you twisted fucking psycho.

1728
01:24:32,777 --> 01:24:34,617
I don't know where...

1729
01:24:36,698 --> 01:24:39,743
What were you saying about
me being a fucking psycho?

1730
01:24:39,909 --> 01:24:43,455
- Do you love her?
- No. It was just sex.

1731
01:24:43,621 --> 01:24:46,458
Did you think of me
when you were fucking her?

1732
01:24:46,624 --> 01:24:48,710
Yes.

1733
01:24:50,378 --> 01:24:51,880
Do you love me or not, baby?

1734
01:24:52,046 --> 01:24:53,423
Of course I do.

1735
01:24:53,590 --> 01:24:55,258
She doesn't mean
a thing to me.

1736
01:24:55,425 --> 01:24:56,760
Good.

1737
01:24:58,678 --> 01:25:00,513
- Fuck!
- Oh, oh, shit.

1738
01:25:00,680 --> 01:25:03,349
I forgot to load it.
Fuck. Oh, God.

1739
01:25:03,516 --> 01:25:05,477
Can you imagine
if I would have, though?

1740
01:25:05,643 --> 01:25:08,396
- What a mess!
- Emily, you're crazy.

1741
01:25:08,563 --> 01:25:10,899
Hey, it's pretty simple.
You know?

1742
01:25:11,065 --> 01:25:12,859
It's your choice.
Her or me?

1743
01:25:13,026 --> 01:25:15,028
It's not that hard.

1744
01:25:16,946 --> 01:25:19,657
Hey. Stop it.

1745
01:25:19,824 --> 01:25:21,659
You love this.

1746
01:25:21,826 --> 01:25:24,204
Meet me in the bathroom
in 20 seconds.

1747
01:25:25,955 --> 01:25:27,624
Knock twice.

1748
01:25:40,929 --> 01:25:42,305
There he is now.

1749
01:25:42,472 --> 01:25:45,558
Mr. Townsend, Isabel Prager,
Addison First Insurance.

1750
01:25:45,725 --> 01:25:47,119
I'm investigating
the death benefit claim

1751
01:25:47,143 --> 01:25:48,853
for your late wife.

1752
01:25:51,815 --> 01:25:53,149
Sean.

1753
01:25:54,567 --> 01:25:56,486
Did you know that
Emily had a twin?

1754
01:25:59,197 --> 01:26:00,448
No, but...

1755
01:26:00,615 --> 01:26:02,367
Well, I hate
to even say this,

1756
01:26:02,534 --> 01:26:05,995
but it means the body in
the lake could be this sister.

1757
01:26:06,162 --> 01:26:07,681
It could explain
the DNA match.

1758
01:26:07,705 --> 01:26:11,209
And if that's the case,
then where is Emily?

1759
01:26:15,421 --> 01:26:17,465
If my wife was still alive,
she'd come home.

1760
01:26:17,632 --> 01:26:19,300
She'd wanna see her son.

1761
01:26:21,678 --> 01:26:24,639
I'm not a cop, and I'm
definitely no therapist.

1762
01:26:24,806 --> 01:26:26,975
I'm just an insurance guy.

1763
01:26:27,141 --> 01:26:30,520
But this is an incredibly
interesting case.

1764
01:26:30,687 --> 01:26:33,022
- This is just bananas, isn't it?
- Yeah.

1765
01:26:33,189 --> 01:26:35,692
I will say,
it's unusual

1766
01:26:35,859 --> 01:26:37,419
to live with someone
as husband and wife

1767
01:26:37,569 --> 01:26:39,028
and not know
that they have a twin.

1768
01:26:39,195 --> 01:26:40,989
Well, she was a very
private person.

1769
01:26:41,155 --> 01:26:44,492
Well, hey,
we all have our secrets.

1770
01:26:46,411 --> 01:26:47,811
But, as I'm sure
you can understand,

1771
01:26:47,954 --> 01:26:49,372
with a payment of this size,

1772
01:26:49,539 --> 01:26:51,499
we'll have to continue
this claims investigation.

1773
01:26:51,666 --> 01:26:52,834
Of course.

1774
01:26:53,001 --> 01:26:55,712
And, by law, give all our
findings to the authorities.

1775
01:26:55,879 --> 01:26:57,505
Of course,
anything you need.

1776
01:26:57,672 --> 01:26:59,507
I just hope that my wife
is still alive.

1777
01:26:59,674 --> 01:27:01,092
I want her back.

1778
01:27:05,096 --> 01:27:06,431
Okey-dokey, then.

1779
01:27:06,598 --> 01:27:08,057
Obviously, if you
do hear from her...

1780
01:27:08,224 --> 01:27:10,202
- You'll be the first to know.
- Thank you so much!

1781
01:27:10,226 --> 01:27:12,437
Okay, thank you.
Thanks for the coffee.

1782
01:27:13,938 --> 01:27:16,232
- Bye. Thank you so much again.
- Thanks. Yeah.

1783
01:27:17,358 --> 01:27:18,735
You knew that she had a twin.

1784
01:27:18,902 --> 01:27:21,404
Did I? Why didn't you?

1785
01:27:21,571 --> 01:27:23,114
You knew
and you didn't tell me.

1786
01:27:23,281 --> 01:27:24,699
Sean.

1787
01:27:24,866 --> 01:27:26,576
You sound crazy.

1788
01:27:26,743 --> 01:27:27,952
I...

1789
01:27:28,119 --> 01:27:29,495
Take a Xanax.

1790
01:27:29,662 --> 01:27:31,748
Take two.

1791
01:27:31,915 --> 01:27:33,291
<i>Hi, moms. Stephanie here.</i>

1792
01:27:33,458 --> 01:27:34,626
<i>Today, we're talking about</i>

1793
01:27:34,792 --> 01:27:35,835
<i>tombstone tributes.</i>

1794
01:27:36,002 --> 01:27:37,295
<i>I want to thank Helen</i>

1795
01:27:37,462 --> 01:27:39,182
<i>from Missoula, Montana,
for the suggestions,</i>

1796
01:27:39,213 --> 01:27:40,423
<i>for thinking outside the box.</i>

1797
01:27:40,590 --> 01:27:42,634
<i>You know, it doesn't have</i>

1798
01:27:42,800 --> 01:27:44,469
<i>to just be flowers anymore.</i>

1799
01:27:44,636 --> 01:27:47,013
<i>I think any item that</i>

1800
01:27:47,180 --> 01:27:49,682
<i>sparks a fond memory is perfect.</i>

1801
01:27:49,849 --> 01:27:52,185
<i>And Emily's favorite treat
was a dry gin martini</i>

1802
01:27:52,352 --> 01:27:54,020
<i>in the late afternoon.</i>

1803
01:27:54,187 --> 01:27:56,439
<i>I'm gonna make a couple
just like Emily used to.</i>

1804
01:27:56,606 --> 01:27:59,442
<i>Frozen gin, frozen glass,</i>

1805
01:27:59,609 --> 01:28:01,069
<i>generous twist.</i>

1806
01:28:01,235 --> 01:28:03,404
<i>I'm gonna head out there
a little later today.</i>

1807
01:28:04,530 --> 01:28:06,240
<i>Have a toast on her grave.</i>

1808
01:28:10,536 --> 01:28:12,872
Nice big twist.
I taught you well.

1809
01:28:13,039 --> 01:28:14,874
Student's become
the master.

1810
01:28:15,041 --> 01:28:17,585
Ooh, wisdom.

1811
01:28:19,003 --> 01:28:20,463
Hey, give me that.

1812
01:28:20,630 --> 01:28:22,215
I don't know
what tricks you have

1813
01:28:22,382 --> 01:28:24,467
up those new
sleeves of yours.

1814
01:28:24,634 --> 01:28:26,135
You think
I poisoned both drinks?

1815
01:28:26,302 --> 01:28:27,720
That's not my style.

1816
01:28:27,887 --> 01:28:29,806
I don't even eat gluten.

1817
01:28:32,767 --> 01:28:34,560
- Want another?
- Please.

1818
01:28:35,895 --> 01:28:38,648
First, tell me why you killed
your father and sister.

1819
01:28:38,815 --> 01:28:41,359
Okay, why don't we first talk
about your son's real father?

1820
01:28:41,526 --> 01:28:43,945
Oh! Emily,
I hold all the cards here.

1821
01:28:44,112 --> 01:28:45,947
I wanna know
about your twin, Faith.

1822
01:28:46,114 --> 01:28:48,992
- I'm not a twin.
- Great. I know that you are.

1823
01:28:49,158 --> 01:28:51,285
We were triplets.
Faith, Hope, and Charity.

1824
01:28:51,452 --> 01:28:52,912
Charity was stillborn.

1825
01:28:53,079 --> 01:28:54,664
Mom thought
we offed her in the womb.

1826
01:28:54,831 --> 01:28:56,791
- Hmm.
- Dad believed her.

1827
01:28:56,958 --> 01:28:59,168
She's quite a woman,
your mother.

1828
01:29:00,253 --> 01:29:01,963
I had a nice afternoon
with Mags.

1829
01:29:02,130 --> 01:29:03,673
You met my mother?

1830
01:29:03,840 --> 01:29:05,883
She likes her martinis
even stronger than yours.

1831
01:29:06,050 --> 01:29:07,969
We had a little walk
down memory lane.

1832
01:29:08,136 --> 01:29:10,221
She's a cold woman, Em.

1833
01:29:10,388 --> 01:29:12,306
Bet you couldn't do
anything right in her eyes.

1834
01:29:12,473 --> 01:29:15,393
It was probably
Faith's idea to set the fire.

1835
01:29:15,560 --> 01:29:17,413
But then all the bad ideas
were Faith's, weren't they?

1836
01:29:17,437 --> 01:29:18,914
- You don't know anything.
- Sure I do.

1837
01:29:18,938 --> 01:29:20,356
And I get it.

1838
01:29:20,523 --> 01:29:22,358
<i>You're 16.</i>

1839
01:29:22,525 --> 01:29:25,361
<i>It's that age
where you feel so trapped.</i>

1840
01:29:26,612 --> 01:29:29,574
<i>And if your mother always
had the biting comment...</i>

1841
01:29:35,913 --> 01:29:37,790
- Faith, it's over. Let's go!
- Dad! Dad!

1842
01:29:37,957 --> 01:29:40,293
- Dad! Don't touch me!
- It's not my fault!

1843
01:29:40,460 --> 01:29:42,180
<i>...I'm guessing your father
was more direct.</i>

1844
01:29:42,253 --> 01:29:44,130
MR. McLANDEN: Whore!

1845
01:29:44,297 --> 01:29:46,257
- Never again!
- Stop!

1846
01:29:46,424 --> 01:29:47,467
That's when you and Faith

1847
01:29:47,633 --> 01:29:49,343
learned to hit
the reset button, right?

1848
01:29:50,636 --> 01:29:51,929
Burn, baby, burn.

1849
01:30:00,271 --> 01:30:01,751
<i>Why'd you leave each other?</i>

1850
01:30:01,814 --> 01:30:04,525
Well, we couldn't stay
together after the fire.

1851
01:30:04,692 --> 01:30:06,778
The cops were looking for
the big blonde arson twins.

1852
01:30:06,944 --> 01:30:09,489
<i>We were a walking sideshow.</i>

1853
01:30:09,655 --> 01:30:11,824
Fuck off!

1854
01:30:11,991 --> 01:30:14,535
We... we had to say goodbye,
so we did it with tattoos -

1855
01:30:14,702 --> 01:30:17,705
flames and a little
something for Charity.

1856
01:30:23,002 --> 01:30:24,962
We split up
in Corpus Christi.

1857
01:30:25,129 --> 01:30:27,381
<i>She was gonna head south to
Mexico, I was gonna go north.</i>

1858
01:30:27,548 --> 01:30:29,175
<i>We set a time
and place to meet</i>

1859
01:30:29,342 --> 01:30:31,219
<i>after the smoke cleared.</i>

1860
01:30:31,385 --> 01:30:33,304
<i>But then
she never showed up.</i>

1861
01:30:34,472 --> 01:30:36,808
<i>I was worried sick.
I waited for days.</i>

1862
01:30:36,974 --> 01:30:38,434
<i>But nothing.</i>

1863
01:30:38,601 --> 01:30:39,921
You know, I thought
maybe this was

1864
01:30:40,061 --> 01:30:41,521
my opportunity
to do it on my own.

1865
01:30:41,687 --> 01:30:43,123
She was always
getting me into trouble.

1866
01:30:43,147 --> 01:30:45,626
So I bought a one-way ticket to
New York and never looked back.

1867
01:30:45,650 --> 01:30:47,693
- Did you miss her?
- Of course I missed her.

1868
01:30:47,860 --> 01:30:50,196
I wasn't whole without her.
But I couldn't go on like that.

1869
01:30:50,363 --> 01:30:52,156
- I had to survive.
- And it worked.

1870
01:30:52,323 --> 01:30:54,200
Yeah, my life in New York
fell into place.

1871
01:30:54,367 --> 01:30:56,702
I got a job,
worked my way up.

1872
01:30:56,869 --> 01:30:59,122
I met the perfect man.

1873
01:30:59,288 --> 01:31:01,457
Oh, you know
that part, though.

1874
01:31:01,624 --> 01:31:04,210
- And then your sister calls.
- Fucking Facebook.

1875
01:31:04,377 --> 01:31:06,462
- You had to see her.
- Yeah, of course I did.

1876
01:31:06,629 --> 01:31:09,340
So you fabricate
this trip to Miami,

1877
01:31:09,507 --> 01:31:11,008
meet up at the old camp.

1878
01:31:11,175 --> 01:31:13,219
Camp bunk four.
It was our happy place.

1879
01:31:15,680 --> 01:31:18,224
<i>It was the only place we could
escape our dad, really.</i>

1880
01:31:26,858 --> 01:31:28,317
<i>It must have been shocking</i>

1881
01:31:28,484 --> 01:31:30,194
<i>to see her
after all those years.</i>

1882
01:31:31,362 --> 01:31:34,323
<i>Yeah, it was like
looking in the mirror...</i>

1883
01:31:34,490 --> 01:31:36,993
...except at the sick life
she chose over me.

1884
01:31:37,160 --> 01:31:39,787
<i>- What did she want?
- Everything.</i>

1885
01:31:41,956 --> 01:31:44,709
You just gonna stand there?

1886
01:31:44,876 --> 01:31:46,085
You gotta have Faith.

1887
01:31:46,252 --> 01:31:48,504
I don't hear from you
for 14 years,

1888
01:31:48,671 --> 01:31:50,298
and now here you are?

1889
01:31:50,464 --> 01:31:52,800
- I'm out of cash.
- Shocking.

1890
01:31:54,135 --> 01:31:56,179
The fuck did you say?

1891
01:31:58,389 --> 01:31:59,599
Nothing. I just...

1892
01:31:59,765 --> 01:32:01,642
Get away with it this time.

1893
01:32:01,809 --> 01:32:03,895
Okay, so, um... now what?

1894
01:32:04,061 --> 01:32:05,980
I don't know.
I didn't know where to go.

1895
01:32:06,147 --> 01:32:07,773
When I call,
you act like a stranger.

1896
01:32:07,940 --> 01:32:09,817
Won't even let me
come meet your family.

1897
01:32:09,984 --> 01:32:11,569
What am I supposed
to say to them?

1898
01:32:11,736 --> 01:32:13,404
The truth?

1899
01:32:13,571 --> 01:32:14,989
Well, you may as well now

1900
01:32:15,156 --> 01:32:17,533
'cause I'm about
to tell the cops.

1901
01:32:17,700 --> 01:32:20,995
- You're what?
- I don't know what else to do.

1902
01:32:21,162 --> 01:32:22,788
I mean, I don't have anything,

1903
01:32:22,955 --> 01:32:24,957
so I don't really have
anything to lose.

1904
01:32:25,124 --> 01:32:26,684
I'm gonna go tell them
everything we did

1905
01:32:26,834 --> 01:32:28,437
and then, you know,
we'll go down together.

1906
01:32:28,461 --> 01:32:29,837
We can be together again.

1907
01:32:30,004 --> 01:32:31,547
I have a little boy now.

1908
01:32:31,714 --> 01:32:34,258
Yeah, I know. I saw that kid.
He's super cute.

1909
01:32:34,425 --> 01:32:37,428
Cut the shit, okay?
What do you want from me?

1910
01:32:39,180 --> 01:32:40,556
I want a million bucks.

1911
01:32:40,723 --> 01:32:42,266
How am I supposed
to give you that?

1912
01:32:42,433 --> 01:32:43,559
You're rich and famous now.

1913
01:32:43,726 --> 01:32:45,770
I can't give you
a million dollars.

1914
01:32:45,937 --> 01:32:47,688
You do seem
highly motivated.

1915
01:32:47,855 --> 01:32:50,775
I don't know what it is, though.
I don't think it's your job.

1916
01:32:50,942 --> 01:32:52,818
Probably, um...
probably your kid.

1917
01:32:52,985 --> 01:32:55,321
Don't talk about Nicky.

1918
01:32:55,488 --> 01:32:57,365
Yeah, I'll, um...

1919
01:32:57,531 --> 01:33:00,618
I'll sell the house.
I'll do whatever I need to do.

1920
01:33:00,785 --> 01:33:02,453
If I do this,
you can't tell anyone ever.

1921
01:33:02,620 --> 01:33:05,456
- Do you understand?
- Yeah, yeah, I get it.

1922
01:33:05,623 --> 01:33:07,503
I mean, I don't really get
the big deal, though,

1923
01:33:07,667 --> 01:33:10,211
'cause you and me could always
just make another kid.

1924
01:33:10,378 --> 01:33:12,463
You know that, right?

1925
01:33:12,630 --> 01:33:14,215
You can't make
another sister, though.

1926
01:33:15,424 --> 01:33:17,385
Oh, it's fucking hot.

1927
01:33:17,551 --> 01:33:19,136
Come on,
let's go swimming.

1928
01:33:19,303 --> 01:33:21,597
Remember?
Like we used to.

1929
01:33:22,932 --> 01:33:24,308
- You coming?
- Yeah.

1930
01:33:24,475 --> 01:33:26,310
Right behind you.

1931
01:33:36,696 --> 01:33:38,296
<i>How'd you
get her in the lake?</i>

1932
01:33:38,364 --> 01:33:39,964
<i>Fuck you.
I didn't kill my sister.</i>

1933
01:33:39,991 --> 01:33:41,742
<i>That was her idea.</i>

1934
01:33:49,000 --> 01:33:50,626
Come on, wimp.

1935
01:33:52,461 --> 01:33:54,297
What? I thought
you were the alpha now.

1936
01:33:54,463 --> 01:33:55,840
No?

1937
01:33:56,007 --> 01:33:57,633
I am the alpha,
God damn it.

1938
01:34:14,734 --> 01:34:16,652
You abandoned me.

1939
01:34:16,819 --> 01:34:19,322
We were supposed
to be a team, you and me.

1940
01:34:19,488 --> 01:34:21,699
- Remember?
- Yeah, I know we were.

1941
01:34:21,866 --> 01:34:23,909
But I just thought

1942
01:34:24,076 --> 01:34:26,829
the only chance
we had was alone, so...

1943
01:34:26,996 --> 01:34:28,456
You were right.

1944
01:34:28,622 --> 01:34:30,708
I'm sorry, kid.

1945
01:34:34,837 --> 01:34:36,964
Me too.

1946
01:35:31,769 --> 01:35:33,270
<i>I was so worried.</i>

1947
01:35:33,437 --> 01:35:34,814
I woke up the next morning

1948
01:35:34,980 --> 01:35:36,982
and I couldn't
find her anywhere.

1949
01:35:38,567 --> 01:35:40,111
I never thought...

1950
01:35:41,737 --> 01:35:43,739
...I never thought
she'd do that, you know?

1951
01:35:46,450 --> 01:35:48,953
When I found her body
in the lake, it was too late.

1952
01:35:49,120 --> 01:35:51,455
Lie. You drowned her.

1953
01:35:51,622 --> 01:35:53,457
No, she killed herself.

1954
01:35:53,624 --> 01:35:55,000
I'm just all that's left of her.

1955
01:35:55,167 --> 01:35:57,753
- No, you're a sister killer.
- You're a brotherfucker.

1956
01:35:57,920 --> 01:35:59,213
Ooh!

1957
01:35:59,380 --> 01:36:00,506
What does Sean know?

1958
01:36:00,673 --> 01:36:02,258
Everything.

1959
01:36:02,425 --> 01:36:03,843
It was his idea.

1960
01:36:04,009 --> 01:36:06,053
I didn't know what to do
once I found the body

1961
01:36:06,220 --> 01:36:08,281
and he said, "You know,
maybe this is our opportunity.

1962
01:36:08,305 --> 01:36:09,890
"We could finally
get out of debt,

1963
01:36:10,057 --> 01:36:11,600
"flee the country,

1964
01:36:11,767 --> 01:36:13,310
"spend more time with Nicky."

1965
01:36:13,477 --> 01:36:15,187
He convinced me
we could pull it off,

1966
01:36:15,354 --> 01:36:17,022
you know, that her DNA
would do the rest.

1967
01:36:17,189 --> 01:36:19,400
I don't believe you.
He grieved for you.

1968
01:36:19,567 --> 01:36:22,069
Oh, you believed that?
Aw, that was all an act.

1969
01:36:22,236 --> 01:36:23,612
You're a pathological liar.

1970
01:36:23,779 --> 01:36:25,489
Did Sean say that?

1971
01:36:27,283 --> 01:36:28,826
Cool.

1972
01:36:28,993 --> 01:36:31,662
I'm just gonna play you
this tune real quick.

1973
01:36:35,166 --> 01:36:37,334
<i>- Do you love her?
- No.</i>

1974
01:36:37,501 --> 01:36:38,878
<i>It was just sex.</i>

1975
01:36:39,044 --> 01:36:41,213
<i>Did you think of me
when you were fucking her?</i>

1976
01:36:41,380 --> 01:36:42,756
<i>Yes.</i>

1977
01:36:42,923 --> 01:36:45,050
<i>Do you love me
or not, baby?</i>

1978
01:36:45,217 --> 01:36:46,802
<i>Of course I do.</i>

1979
01:36:46,969 --> 01:36:48,679
<i>She doesn't mean
a thing to me.</i>

1980
01:36:48,846 --> 01:36:51,474
I'm sorry, baby. I know
you thought it was real.

1981
01:36:52,975 --> 01:36:55,186
But, hey, I mean,
look on the bright side.

1982
01:36:55,352 --> 01:36:57,354
Your website went viral
thanks to me.

1983
01:36:57,521 --> 01:36:59,356
All this for a little money?

1984
01:36:59,523 --> 01:37:02,318
A little $4 million?

1985
01:37:02,485 --> 01:37:05,112
That's not exactly little, huh?

1986
01:37:05,279 --> 01:37:07,239
I was hiding out
till that money came in.

1987
01:37:07,406 --> 01:37:09,074
He was just gonna
tie up some loose ends.

1988
01:37:09,241 --> 01:37:10,534
Was I a loose end?

1989
01:37:10,701 --> 01:37:12,578
Well, he needed
help with Nicky.

1990
01:37:12,745 --> 01:37:14,205
You're so good
with those kids.

1991
01:37:14,371 --> 01:37:16,707
So what happens now?

1992
01:37:16,874 --> 01:37:18,667
I just want my kid.

1993
01:37:18,834 --> 01:37:20,586
You fucked up
my insurance plan.

1994
01:37:20,753 --> 01:37:22,272
The authorities
won't back down on that.

1995
01:37:22,296 --> 01:37:23,964
You can have Sean.
He's a piece of shit.

1996
01:37:24,131 --> 01:37:26,300
- I don't even want him.
- I don't want Sean.

1997
01:37:26,467 --> 01:37:28,511
Then I don't know.
I guess there's...

1998
01:37:29,595 --> 01:37:31,639
There's another way, but...

1999
01:37:31,805 --> 01:37:34,099
...it's sort of one
mother to another.

2000
01:37:38,479 --> 01:37:40,481
Sleeping like a log.

2001
01:38:07,883 --> 01:38:09,927
- Oh!
- What's going on?

2002
01:38:10,094 --> 01:38:12,221
They have a warrant.
I tried to call you.

2003
01:38:13,264 --> 01:38:14,723
Excuse me.
I'm Sean Townsend.

2004
01:38:14,890 --> 01:38:16,810
Look, I'm happy to comply
with anything you need.

2005
01:38:16,976 --> 01:38:19,019
But it would be nice
to have a heads-up.

2006
01:38:19,186 --> 01:38:20,896
This is an open investigation.

2007
01:38:21,063 --> 01:38:23,190
You don't get to pencil
us in when it's convenient.

2008
01:38:30,239 --> 01:38:31,949
Hey.

2009
01:38:32,116 --> 01:38:33,409
Am I under arrest?

2010
01:38:33,576 --> 01:38:35,995
Oh, no, not yet.
The DA wants a slam dunk.

2011
01:38:36,161 --> 01:38:38,181
That's gonna be pretty hard
since I haven't done anything.

2012
01:38:38,205 --> 01:38:40,583
Did you know
your wife was alive?

2013
01:38:40,749 --> 01:38:42,751
- Not until recently.
- When?

2014
01:38:42,918 --> 01:38:44,461
She contacted me.

2015
01:38:44,628 --> 01:38:46,668
And you immediately notified
the authorities, right?

2016
01:38:46,797 --> 01:38:49,008
I can't discuss this
without my attorney.

2017
01:38:49,174 --> 01:38:51,236
You know what? You really
are a professor, aren't you?

2018
01:38:51,260 --> 01:38:52,886
Okay, we'll talk soon.

2019
01:38:53,053 --> 01:38:55,097
Oh, uh, if we need
to contact you,

2020
01:38:55,264 --> 01:38:57,433
will you be with your wife
or the best friend?

2021
01:38:59,268 --> 01:39:00,811
Somebody else?

2022
01:39:10,029 --> 01:39:12,029
I need a stiff drink.
Maybe some of your...

2023
01:39:12,156 --> 01:39:13,824
I'm sorry. You can't come in.

2024
01:39:13,991 --> 01:39:16,452
What? Where's Nicky?

2025
01:39:16,619 --> 01:39:17,911
He's upstairs playing.

2026
01:39:18,078 --> 01:39:20,080
- You have to go.
- What are you talking about?

2027
01:39:20,247 --> 01:39:21,766
This is an ongoing
investigation, Sean.

2028
01:39:21,790 --> 01:39:22,833
Oh, for fuck's sake.

2029
01:39:23,000 --> 01:39:24,209
I can't let you in this house

2030
01:39:24,376 --> 01:39:25,812
until this whole thing's
been solved.

2031
01:39:25,836 --> 01:39:27,063
She's gotten to you, hasn't she?

2032
01:39:27,087 --> 01:39:28,398
This has nothing
to do with Emily.

2033
01:39:28,422 --> 01:39:30,591
It's got everything
to do with her.

2034
01:39:30,758 --> 01:39:32,426
She's gaslighting you!

2035
01:39:32,593 --> 01:39:34,261
You don't understand
how powerful she is.

2036
01:39:34,428 --> 01:39:36,597
No, I don't understand
anything right now.

2037
01:39:36,764 --> 01:39:38,223
Stephanie, don't do this.

2038
01:39:38,390 --> 01:39:40,017
Please don't make me
call the police.

2039
01:39:48,984 --> 01:39:52,112
♪ I don't
wanna have to lie

2040
01:39:52,279 --> 01:39:55,532
♪ To everybody

2041
01:39:55,699 --> 01:39:57,826
♪ About how I feel

2042
01:39:59,286 --> 01:40:01,497
♪ I can't eat, can't sleep

2043
01:40:01,664 --> 01:40:03,499
♪ I'm on my knees... ♪

2044
01:40:05,959 --> 01:40:08,879
♪ Praying for a miracle

2045
01:40:10,089 --> 01:40:13,300
♪ It's all right, what you say

2046
01:40:13,467 --> 01:40:15,344
♪ Like a knife

2047
01:40:15,511 --> 01:40:17,930
♪ I know you like
the taste... ♪

2048
01:40:18,097 --> 01:40:20,557
<i>Stephanie,
please call me back.</i>

2049
01:40:20,724 --> 01:40:22,559
<i>I don't know
what's going on</i>

2050
01:40:22,726 --> 01:40:24,687
<i>or how this is
all going to turn out.</i>

2051
01:40:24,853 --> 01:40:26,230
<i>But you're a great mum,</i>

2052
01:40:26,397 --> 01:40:28,857
<i>and you taught me
how to be a better dad.</i>

2053
01:40:29,024 --> 01:40:31,527
<i>For that,
I'll always be grateful.</i>

2054
01:40:31,694 --> 01:40:35,614
<i>The truth is I don't think
I ever knew my wife</i>

2055
01:40:35,781 --> 01:40:37,991
<i>or what she's capable of.</i>

2056
01:40:38,158 --> 01:40:41,578
♪ I love you, I hate you,
I have you, I lose you

2057
01:40:41,745 --> 01:40:44,331
♪ I just want someone to love

2058
01:40:44,498 --> 01:40:50,462
♪ I don't wanna
have to lie to everybody

2059
01:40:51,505 --> 01:40:54,466
♪ I just want a light

2060
01:40:54,633 --> 01:40:58,804
♪ I wanna smoke more cigarettes

2061
01:40:58,971 --> 01:41:04,101
♪ You think that
I like getting hurt

2062
01:41:05,394 --> 01:41:09,231
♪ But I do it and I can't
seem to help myself

2063
01:41:09,398 --> 01:41:12,985
♪ I'm big girl, but big girls
get hurt too... ♪

2064
01:41:13,152 --> 01:41:14,713
<i>A shocking new development</i>

2065
01:41:14,737 --> 01:41:16,196
<i>in the Emily Nelson case,</i>

2066
01:41:16,363 --> 01:41:19,324
<i>which first went viral
on a popular internet vlog.</i>

2067
01:41:19,491 --> 01:41:20,971
<i>The PR executive
who was believed dead</i>

2068
01:41:21,118 --> 01:41:22,619
<i>in Michigan has resurfaced.</i>

2069
01:41:22,786 --> 01:41:25,038
<i>And it appears
the body found in the lake</i>

2070
01:41:25,205 --> 01:41:27,082
<i>was that of Nelson's
estranged twin sister.</i>

2071
01:41:27,249 --> 01:41:29,334
<i>Nelson's husband,
Sean Townsend,</i>

2072
01:41:29,501 --> 01:41:31,628
<i>an abusive failed novelist
and English professor,</i>

2073
01:41:31,795 --> 01:41:34,965
<i>allegedly forced her
to stage her own death</i>

2074
01:41:35,132 --> 01:41:37,676
<i>in order to collect a $4 million
life insurance policy.</i>

2075
01:41:37,843 --> 01:41:39,178
<i>Nevertheless,</i>

2076
01:41:39,344 --> 01:41:41,263
<i>bail for Mr. Townsend
will be set today.</i>

2077
01:41:41,430 --> 01:41:42,806
<i>A British national,</i>

2078
01:41:42,973 --> 01:41:44,850
<i>Townsend faces deportation
if found guilty.</i>

2079
01:41:45,017 --> 01:41:46,769
<i>Although
an accomplice to fraud,</i>

2080
01:41:46,935 --> 01:41:48,896
<i>Ms. Nelson is complying
with the authorities</i>

2081
01:41:49,062 --> 01:41:51,023
<i>in exchange for clemency.</i>

2082
01:41:53,859 --> 01:41:55,027
Stephanie?

2083
01:41:58,906 --> 01:42:01,366
- Where's Nicky?
- Oh, he's at a friend's house.

2084
01:42:01,533 --> 01:42:03,619
- Watching a movie.
- Oof!

2085
01:42:03,786 --> 01:42:06,038
I figured we needed some
Mommy and Daddy time.

2086
01:42:08,165 --> 01:42:10,709
Have you forgotten
me already?

2087
01:42:10,876 --> 01:42:13,253
You're impossible to forget.

2088
01:42:13,420 --> 01:42:14,505
Thank you.

2089
01:42:19,551 --> 01:42:21,887
Oh, please, Sean,
I'm not gonna poison you.

2090
01:42:22,054 --> 01:42:24,389
If I wanted to get rid of you,
you'd already be dead.

2091
01:42:24,556 --> 01:42:26,391
You put those files
on my computer.

2092
01:42:26,558 --> 01:42:29,186
Yes, I did.

2093
01:42:29,353 --> 01:42:30,813
But I did have help
from a woman

2094
01:42:30,979 --> 01:42:32,898
who loves volunteering
for everything.

2095
01:42:33,065 --> 01:42:34,525
Stephanie.

2096
01:42:34,691 --> 01:42:37,152
She's not as sweet
as her snatch, is she?

2097
01:42:37,319 --> 01:42:39,363
Were you ever gonna tell me
you had a twin sister?

2098
01:42:39,530 --> 01:42:41,532
- Wasn't your business.
- I'm your husband!

2099
01:42:41,698 --> 01:42:43,575
You've been fucking
my best friend in my house.

2100
01:42:43,742 --> 01:42:45,536
But now you're
my husband? Okay.

2101
01:42:45,702 --> 01:42:47,871
Then I should probably tell
you that we were triplets.

2102
01:42:48,038 --> 01:42:49,373
The details!

2103
01:42:49,540 --> 01:42:50,707
<i>Hi, moms!</i>

2104
01:42:50,874 --> 01:42:53,252
Stephanie here.

2105
01:42:53,418 --> 01:42:54,795
I wanna thank you for all

2106
01:42:54,962 --> 01:42:56,606
the love and support
you've been sending me.

2107
01:42:56,630 --> 01:42:58,173
It means so much.

2108
01:42:58,340 --> 01:42:59,675
Um...

2109
01:43:00,884 --> 01:43:03,720
You know, as shocked
as you guys are

2110
01:43:03,887 --> 01:43:06,431
about these turns of events,

2111
01:43:06,598 --> 01:43:09,309
I can assure you, nobody
is more stunned than me.

2112
01:43:09,476 --> 01:43:11,854
<i>Emily had her secrets.
So did her husband.</i>

2113
01:43:12,020 --> 01:43:14,356
<i>Clearly, I was
the naive romantic</i>

2114
01:43:14,523 --> 01:43:16,275
<i>caught in the middle.</i>

2115
01:43:16,441 --> 01:43:18,569
<i>I love you guys. I always will.</i>

2116
01:43:18,735 --> 01:43:21,446
<i>I hope you can forgive me in
advance for what I have to do.</i>

2117
01:43:21,613 --> 01:43:24,533
<i>Moms, do everything yourself.</i>

2118
01:43:27,703 --> 01:43:28,871
Stephanie.

2119
01:43:29,037 --> 01:43:30,372
You shouldn't be here right now.

2120
01:43:30,539 --> 01:43:32,457
I used to live here. Remember?

2121
01:43:32,624 --> 01:43:35,085
- Don't make this any hard...
- Don't move.

2122
01:43:36,795 --> 01:43:38,046
Stephanie, please.

2123
01:43:38,213 --> 01:43:40,173
You don't even let the boys
play with squirt guns.

2124
01:43:40,257 --> 01:43:41,857
That was before
you told me you loved me,

2125
01:43:41,884 --> 01:43:43,987
and it turned out you were
laughing at me behind my back.

2126
01:43:44,011 --> 01:43:45,780
Stephanie, maybe we should
take it down a notch.

2127
01:43:45,804 --> 01:43:47,180
You used me.

2128
01:43:47,347 --> 01:43:48,974
You used me too.

2129
01:43:49,141 --> 01:43:50,934
But you had me
making you dinner,

2130
01:43:51,101 --> 01:43:53,979
watching your kid,
and sucking your dick.

2131
01:43:54,146 --> 01:43:55,772
I had no idea
that she was still alive!

2132
01:43:55,939 --> 01:43:58,191
- Stop lying.
- Okay, you guys.

2133
01:43:58,358 --> 01:44:00,402
I think we should just
sit down and talk this out.

2134
01:44:00,569 --> 01:44:02,613
Emily, you sit down.
You hated Stephanie.

2135
01:44:02,779 --> 01:44:05,324
You used to watch her vlog
and rip her apart.

2136
01:44:05,490 --> 01:44:07,034
All I wanted
was to be your friend.

2137
01:44:07,200 --> 01:44:08,493
You were.

2138
01:44:08,660 --> 01:44:11,163
And then you fucked my husband
and my insurance plan.

2139
01:44:11,330 --> 01:44:13,707
Don't blame her!
This is so typical of you.

2140
01:44:13,874 --> 01:44:16,126
I was just trying to get us
out of crushing fucking debt.

2141
01:44:16,293 --> 01:44:18,754
Yeah, maybe if you had the
good sense to give me a call,

2142
01:44:18,921 --> 01:44:20,815
I could've helped you with
this little plot of yours.

2143
01:44:20,839 --> 01:44:23,159
Please, you haven't come up
with a decent plot in 10 years.

2144
01:44:23,216 --> 01:44:24,801
Really? Right now?

2145
01:44:24,968 --> 01:44:27,220
Can I say something,
as the lady with the gun?

2146
01:44:27,387 --> 01:44:29,097
Nicky deserves better
than both of you.

2147
01:44:29,264 --> 01:44:31,642
- Fuck you. I love my kid.
- Shut up!

2148
01:44:33,101 --> 01:44:35,020
Stephanie, put down the gun.

2149
01:44:35,187 --> 01:44:36,813
You don't wanna do this.

2150
01:44:36,980 --> 01:44:39,024
I really do, though.

2151
01:44:41,026 --> 01:44:42,569
I loved you.

2152
01:44:43,654 --> 01:44:45,155
I loved you too.

2153
01:44:47,658 --> 01:44:49,493
I think this is the best thing.

2154
01:44:49,660 --> 01:44:51,578
- Whoa.
- We could say he attacked us.

2155
01:44:51,745 --> 01:44:53,431
- They'll believe us, you know?
- No, no, no.

2156
01:44:53,455 --> 01:44:55,558
You're not fucking serious.
You're not gonna kill him.

2157
01:44:55,582 --> 01:44:57,334
We're just gonna
send him to jail.

2158
01:44:57,501 --> 01:45:00,504
J... Are you serious?
Jail's enough for you?

2159
01:45:00,671 --> 01:45:02,756
- You don't need to kill him.
- Aren't you angry?

2160
01:45:02,923 --> 01:45:04,508
Don't you want revenge
for your sister?

2161
01:45:04,675 --> 01:45:07,344
Yeah, yes. But he didn't
technically kill her.

2162
01:45:07,511 --> 01:45:08,804
Then who did?

2163
01:45:08,971 --> 01:45:11,640
'Cause I don't buy
that it was an accident.

2164
01:45:14,267 --> 01:45:15,811
Screw this.

2165
01:45:16,937 --> 01:45:18,105
Oh!

2166
01:45:18,271 --> 01:45:20,148
- Oh, my God!
- Oh, fuck.

2167
01:45:20,315 --> 01:45:21,608
Oh, my God. Jesus.

2168
01:45:21,775 --> 01:45:23,443
Oh, my God. Um...

2169
01:45:23,610 --> 01:45:26,446
Oh, my God!
Shit! Is he really dead?

2170
01:45:26,613 --> 01:45:29,116
Sean? I'm sorry.
What do I do?

2171
01:45:29,282 --> 01:45:31,576
Do you put pressure on it or...

2172
01:45:31,743 --> 01:45:34,371
Do we call an ambulance?
Do I just let him die?

2173
01:45:34,538 --> 01:45:36,623
I mean, he deserved it, right?

2174
01:45:36,790 --> 01:45:39,751
No, I killed her.
I killed my sister.

2175
01:45:39,918 --> 01:45:42,671
What? Sean? Sean?

2176
01:45:42,838 --> 01:45:44,673
Get up.

2177
01:45:46,633 --> 01:45:48,343
Show's over. Come on.

2178
01:45:48,510 --> 01:45:50,637
Seriously? Come on.
Get the fuck up. Hey!

2179
01:45:50,804 --> 01:45:52,222
You too, Brando.

2180
01:45:52,389 --> 01:45:54,891
- Get up!
- Fuck!

2181
01:45:58,812 --> 01:46:00,355
Wow.

2182
01:46:02,607 --> 01:46:04,359
That was extra.

2183
01:46:04,526 --> 01:46:06,778
I mean, obviously, I knew you
guys were up to something

2184
01:46:06,945 --> 01:46:08,321
when I saw both the mics

2185
01:46:08,488 --> 01:46:10,532
that you had the cops
plant in here.

2186
01:46:10,699 --> 01:46:12,451
You clearly wanted
a confession out of me,

2187
01:46:12,617 --> 01:46:14,244
so you could clear
Sean's name.

2188
01:46:14,411 --> 01:46:17,706
But that was... that was
a good way to go about it.

2189
01:46:17,873 --> 01:46:19,541
Where you messed up,
though, baby girl,

2190
01:46:19,708 --> 01:46:21,293
is thinking
that I would confess

2191
01:46:21,460 --> 01:46:23,045
to protect that
fucking yeast infection.

2192
01:46:23,211 --> 01:46:25,505
- Really?
- All right.

2193
01:46:25,672 --> 01:46:27,549
Come on, you gotta know
better than that.

2194
01:46:27,716 --> 01:46:28,759
Hmm.

2195
01:46:28,925 --> 01:46:30,695
But then you came in,
all emotional with the gun.

2196
01:46:30,719 --> 01:46:33,055
And that was...
that was convincing.

2197
01:46:33,221 --> 01:46:35,766
Yeah. It was very cinematic.

2198
01:46:35,932 --> 01:46:37,642
I don't even know
where you find this shit.

2199
01:46:37,809 --> 01:46:39,352
You're really amazing.

2200
01:46:39,519 --> 01:46:42,022
- Thanks. That means a lot.
- Mmm.

2201
01:46:42,189 --> 01:46:43,774
But you did confess, Emily.

2202
01:46:43,940 --> 01:46:46,651
Oh. Yeah.

2203
01:46:46,818 --> 01:46:48,612
Um...

2204
01:46:48,779 --> 01:46:52,240
I did, but I cut
these first, though.

2205
01:46:52,407 --> 01:46:54,451
For our friendship bracelets.

2206
01:46:54,618 --> 01:46:56,328
One for you!

2207
01:46:56,495 --> 01:46:59,539
That is... disappointing.

2208
01:46:59,706 --> 01:47:02,292
Oh! My God!
Look what I found.

2209
01:47:02,459 --> 01:47:04,127
Huh!

2210
01:47:04,294 --> 01:47:06,588
Okay. You can't shoot us.

2211
01:47:06,755 --> 01:47:09,925
- The police are outside.
- No, they're not.

2212
01:47:10,092 --> 01:47:12,052
"Hey, cops, Stephanie here.

2213
01:47:12,219 --> 01:47:13,678
"Change of plans.

2214
01:47:13,845 --> 01:47:15,656
"I'm meeting Emily and Sean
at Darren's house now.

2215
01:47:15,680 --> 01:47:17,057
"I'll see you there."

2216
01:47:17,224 --> 01:47:18,809
You sent them
to Darren's house?

2217
01:47:18,975 --> 01:47:21,144
It's a virus?

2218
01:47:21,311 --> 01:47:23,230
String theory!
String theory, isn't it?

2219
01:47:23,396 --> 01:47:26,233
Hands up! Weapons down!

2220
01:47:26,399 --> 01:47:27,901
No, I have
a prescription for that!

2221
01:47:28,068 --> 01:47:29,486
I have ocular pressure!

2222
01:47:29,653 --> 01:47:30,987
I've been on the run
for 10 years.

2223
01:47:31,154 --> 01:47:32,965
You think I don't know how
to manipulate the system?

2224
01:47:32,989 --> 01:47:34,616
So you're gonna kill us?

2225
01:47:34,783 --> 01:47:36,868
Well, what the fuck else
am I supposed to do?

2226
01:47:37,035 --> 01:47:38,411
You two will clearly go

2227
01:47:38,578 --> 01:47:40,178
to extraordinary lengths
to take me down.

2228
01:47:40,330 --> 01:47:41,832
And you know too much.

2229
01:47:41,998 --> 01:47:44,000
So, I feel like
a murder-suicide

2230
01:47:44,167 --> 01:47:46,253
is the only fitting end
for you two.

2231
01:47:46,419 --> 01:47:47,838
And if you kill him,

2232
01:47:48,004 --> 01:47:50,048
I think our insurance
still covers that, right?

2233
01:47:50,215 --> 01:47:52,092
I mean, it's sort of perfect.

2234
01:47:52,259 --> 01:47:54,678
One door closes and another
one opens. Thank you for that.

2235
01:47:54,845 --> 01:47:57,180
You always have been
fucking crazy, haven't you?

2236
01:47:57,347 --> 01:47:58,890
Have I?

2237
01:47:59,057 --> 01:48:00,725
Ugh!

2238
01:48:00,892 --> 01:48:02,769
Oh, shit. You're right.

2239
01:48:02,936 --> 01:48:05,522
God, you fucking...
You actually fucking shot me.

2240
01:48:05,689 --> 01:48:07,190
I'm gonna miss him.

2241
01:48:07,357 --> 01:48:08,859
Your turn.

2242
01:48:09,025 --> 01:48:11,236
Emily, come on.

2243
01:48:11,403 --> 01:48:12,821
You're not gonna kill me.

2244
01:48:12,988 --> 01:48:15,282
Oh, yeah, I killed
my dad and my sister,

2245
01:48:15,448 --> 01:48:18,368
but I could never kill my
husband-fucking best friend.

2246
01:48:19,411 --> 01:48:21,121
Am I really
your best friend?

2247
01:48:21,288 --> 01:48:23,206
You're not just saying
that for, you know...

2248
01:48:23,373 --> 01:48:24,933
No, no, I'm not
just saying that at all.

2249
01:48:25,041 --> 01:48:26,877
I get worried that it's just me.

2250
01:48:27,043 --> 01:48:28,883
I know, sometimes
I was worried about that too.

2251
01:48:30,380 --> 01:48:31,941
It's so hard to connect
with other moms...

2252
01:48:31,965 --> 01:48:33,967
And then when you have
a full-time job, it's...

2253
01:48:34,134 --> 01:48:35,635
Okay, okay,
don't pull that crap.

2254
01:48:35,802 --> 01:48:38,180
Being a mom is a full-time job.
What I do is hard work.

2255
01:48:38,346 --> 01:48:40,015
And I have my vlog
on top of that,

2256
01:48:40,182 --> 01:48:41,742
and that's just getting
bigger and bigger.

2257
01:48:41,766 --> 01:48:43,685
If you came on the vlog,
that'd be so fun.

2258
01:48:43,852 --> 01:48:45,770
If you came on the vlog
and confessed

2259
01:48:45,937 --> 01:48:48,207
to killing your father and
sister and held me at gunpoint,

2260
01:48:48,231 --> 01:48:49,834
I could probably hit
a million subscribers.

2261
01:48:49,858 --> 01:48:51,443
Aww. That would've been great.

2262
01:48:51,610 --> 01:48:53,862
- Why don't we do that right now?
- Hmm?

2263
01:48:54,029 --> 01:48:56,198
We're live streaming.
Did you not know that?

2264
01:48:56,364 --> 01:48:57,949
What the fuck
are you talking about?

2265
01:48:58,116 --> 01:49:00,035
God, that's so rude,
I'm sorry.

2266
01:49:00,202 --> 01:49:01,870
Wave hi to the moms!

2267
01:49:03,079 --> 01:49:04,915
<i>This little gadget. Boop!</i>

2268
01:49:05,081 --> 01:49:07,626
Yeah. They make nanny cams
so small these days.

2269
01:49:09,252 --> 01:49:10,462
Brotherfucker!

2270
01:49:13,298 --> 01:49:15,675
Emily!
Emily, stop!

2271
01:49:15,842 --> 01:49:18,845
Emily, you can't outrun this!
Don't do this to Nicky.

2272
01:49:19,012 --> 01:49:21,139
Come on, you're still his mom!

2273
01:49:24,059 --> 01:49:25,977
Yeah, I am.

2274
01:49:26,144 --> 01:49:27,646
But you sure
as shit won't be.

2275
01:49:35,278 --> 01:49:36,863
America's hybrids.

2276
01:49:37,030 --> 01:49:38,907
Silent, but deadly.

2277
01:49:42,953 --> 01:49:44,704
I saw you on the vlog.

2278
01:49:44,871 --> 01:49:47,540
You fuck with one of the moms,
you fuck with us all.

2279
01:49:47,707 --> 01:49:49,501
Oh!

2280
01:49:49,668 --> 01:49:50,835
Emily!

2281
01:49:51,920 --> 01:49:53,546
Stop, Emily.

2282
01:49:53,713 --> 01:49:55,966
This looks super painful.

2283
01:49:56,132 --> 01:49:57,926
Now, sweetie, stop.

2284
01:49:58,093 --> 01:49:59,844
You've just been hit by a car.

2285
01:50:00,011 --> 01:50:01,388
Don't... don't do this.

2286
01:50:01,554 --> 01:50:03,598
I'm getting worried
about your knees right now.

2287
01:50:04,683 --> 01:50:06,309
Just relax!

2288
01:50:11,982 --> 01:50:13,525
I'm sorry!

2289
01:50:13,692 --> 01:50:15,026
I'm NOT sorry. Oh!

2290
01:50:15,193 --> 01:50:16,528
I'm still working on that.

2291
01:50:21,199 --> 01:50:22,575
Hi, moms! Stephanie here.

2292
01:50:22,742 --> 01:50:24,202
We have very exciting news today

2293
01:50:24,369 --> 01:50:25,745
because we signed up

2294
01:50:25,912 --> 01:50:27,497
our one-millionth subscriber,

2295
01:50:27,664 --> 01:50:30,917
Mrs. Carol Findley
of Ames, Iowa!

2296
01:50:31,084 --> 01:50:33,503
Thank you
for joining us, Carol.

2297
01:50:33,670 --> 01:50:36,006
You should know,
as our newest friend,

2298
01:50:36,172 --> 01:50:38,292
that in addition to my usual
helpful tips and recipes,

2299
01:50:38,383 --> 01:50:40,677
I now take on
unsolved mysteries

2300
01:50:40,844 --> 01:50:42,887
'cause it turns out
I have a nose

2301
01:50:43,054 --> 01:50:45,473
for sniffing out
the freshest basil...

2302
01:50:45,640 --> 01:50:47,892
...and criminals who thought
they got away with it.

2303
01:50:48,059 --> 01:50:49,477
<i>So if you have a cold case</i>

2304
01:50:49,644 --> 01:50:51,271
<i>or a mystery that
needs to be unraveled,</i>

2305
01:50:51,438 --> 01:50:52,772
<i>you can just drop me a line.</i>

2306
01:50:52,939 --> 01:50:54,357
<i>That includes
you now, Carol,</i>

2307
01:50:54,524 --> 01:50:55,984
<i>because you're part
of the family.</i>

2308
01:50:56,151 --> 01:50:58,361
<i>For now, we're gonna
be talking about</i>

2309
01:50:58,528 --> 01:51:00,238
<i>my favorite cold soup,
gazpacho,</i>

2310
01:51:00,405 --> 01:51:02,425
<i>which is normally gross, but
we're not gonna make it gross.</i>

2311
01:51:02,449 --> 01:51:03,729
<i>Right, guys?
It's gonna be great.</i>

2312
01:51:49,704 --> 01:51:51,748
In your ass!