[F4M] Burger, Fries and a Poke [humor], [blowjob]

KFC?  Ehh, I don’t really want chicken, I’m in the mood for a burger.  Some nice red meat.  Huh?  You think KFC now serves hamburgers?  First, I don’t think that’s true, and secondly, their whole thing is “We do chicken right.”  They don’t say that they do anything else “right.”  So if I wanted chicken, then this would be the…  No, I don’t care if you think you saw an ad where KFC is selling hamburgers.  The food is supposed to be Finger Lickin’ Good.  Who the Hell licks their fingers after a bite of a hamburger?

No.  Let’s go somewhere else--there’s an In ‘N‘ Out in three blocks.  It’ll be easy--we’ll just go through the Drive Thru.  Yes, I know, honey, there’s no chicken at the In ‘N’ Out, there are hamburgers, which is what I wanted.  And before you say that this represents total victory for me and total surrender for you, yes--I know.  That’s what makes it awesome.  It’s like that old song that goes like...y’know… [sung to the tune of “Anything You Can Do”] “T’ain’t nothin’ you can do that I can’t do just as well, why don’t you prove it, well I’m not gonna do that.”  That’s not exactly it, but you know the song,  Take me to the In ‘N’ Out.

(pause)  Now this is kind of a bad neighborhood at night, so..  Yep.  Thanks for locking the doors, babe.  (pause)  (different tone, now impressed and horny)  Wow--look at you being all Mister Protector.  Drivin’ me around, taking me to dinner…  Next thing I know you’ll be complimenting my dress.  (pause)  (comically impatient)  Do it.  Compliment my dress.  Just shut up and do it.  There’s a reason.  (pause)  (fake surprise)  Oh, wow, thank you!  My dress DOES look amazing--I can’t believe you noticed!  (suddenly matter-of-fact) And as a reward, you get to fuck me in the Drive Thru.

What??  Yes, I’m serious.  When you said you liked my dress, this officially became a date.  And I have sex on my dates.  Besides, look at the line.  There’s gotta be 15 cars--we’d just be waiting anyway.  No, it won’t affect the food--you’re not gonna cum in my mouth.  Yes, I _am_ gonna blow you for like the first 5 cars, but don’t cum in my mouth, ok?  Man, you seem flustered, like you’re all feverish or something.  Well, you know what they say, right?  Starve a cold, feed a fever?  (pause) Or whichever the fuck one it is--who cares.  Take your pants off.

(kissing / “making out” noises for 20 seconds)

Creep up, honey.  Keep the line moving.  We’re almost to the speaker thing.  Do you know what you want?  Oh, right, it’s only hamburgers, so … you don’t have to think too hard.  I hate it when we’re like, at a diner, and there’s like 25 things that sound good.  Ooh, I want the pancakes, wait, the omelette, wait, the steak tips, wait, just give me like a giant fuckin’ ice cream sundae.  And then you pay your 12 dollars and you realize that the table next to you has better food than you have.  Creep up again, we’re here.

(speaking louder, into the speaker)  Yes, I’ll have a Double Double, animal style, and my date’s gonna get a cheeseburger and a hamburger, and we’ll take two large fries, and two of the chocolate shakes.  (pause)  Oh, you don’t have shakes?  All right, then one iced tea…
(aside)  What do you want?  (speaking louder)  One Iced Tea, one Dr. Pepper.  (quick pause)  Ok, great.

Now it’s time to focus, baby.  We only have 11 cars left.  What do you mean, “that’s not enough time?”  Well don’t blame me, I asked for shakes.  It takes longer to make the shakes, but they didn’t have any shakes.  So you’ll just have to concentrate on me kissing your fucking cock.  K.F.C., do you get it?  (pause)  I don’t think you get it.

(blowjob noises for a few seconds).  (mumbling)  Creep up again.  (pause)  C’mon.  The guy behind us really wants to place his order.  Eyes on the road.  I know--I look good with cock in my mouth, but….  It’d be a shame if you hit the bumper of the person in front of us, right?  (blowjob noises)  This is so hot, baby.  No one’s gonna look in our car, they all want their food.  They’re all over those fries, and thinking about putting like 20 in their mouth at once while they’re still too hot, and then they have to, like, blow inside their mouth to cool it down…  People are so stupid.

Ok, fuck me, baby.  Come on.  I’ll just rest my head against the door, so I can see if the girl’s ready with our order.  Can you, like, lean over so your foot can still reach the gas pedal and brake?  I’ll tell you when to creep up.  Mmm, fuck.  Don’t worry--we’re going like 1 mile an hour, it’ll be ok.

(Moaning / grunting noises).  Gas pedal.  Mnnff.  No wait, too much, too much, go to the brake.  Fuck.  Just try not to wrap the seat-belt around my neck, ok?  Although that sounds kinda hot, but sort-of …..ummm not hot.  (pant)  Creep up.  MMmmhhh, you feel so good.  Unnhh.  Unnhh.  Aren’t you glad you compli…  unnnnnhhh.  (panting)  com….  (pant) complimented my dress, baby?  Unnh.  Gas pedal.

We’re almost there.  I can see the girl now.  D….don’t worry ….unnnghh….don’t worry about her, she’s making our fries.  Don’t w….   (moan)...  oh fuck, fuckin’ pound me!  Yes, right there!!!  She’s getting….our….iced tea….unnghh...my iced tea…..Mmmnnn.  Pump your cock in me, baby.  In and out.  (gasp)  Oh fuck!!!  (just realizing) That’s what the name of the restaur….  Do you think this is why….  (pant panttt) they call it (pant) In ‘N’ Out??!!  No, probably not.

Are you getting close, baby?  Creep up one more time--we’re here.  Do it slow--we don’t wanna miss the window.  Unnghhh….Ungghhh...Brake!!  She’s looking at us, baby….  She’s looking at us.  Cum for me!!  Oh fuck, before she figures it out!!  Cum for me!!!!!  AHNNNHHHH!!!!!

(panting, cool down for about 20 seconds)

Roll down the window and pick up the bag, sweety.  No, she’s not gonna look in and see your dick out.  Just thank her and pay her the money and take the bag.  And the drinks.  (pant)  Good boy.  Good job.  We can pull over under that tree and put our clothes back on.  It’s totally hidden.

Yes, sweetheart, we could just have fucked under the tree instead.  Yes, I thought of that.  Do you know why I had you fuck me in the Drive Thru?  To make sure that my little KFC boy...wasn’t…..chicken.  Do you get it?  (pause)  I...I don’t think you get it.