How've you been? @realDonaldTrump

Donald, President, pile of orange cheese dust in a man suit, how are you doing?
Do you feel like quitting?
Self Impeaching?
Becoming a staple of humanity?
Because if you said yes to any one of those things, I've gotta tell you, you're doing a fan-fucking-tastic job. Seriously, you're fucking it up for the rest of us to the point where my normally snarky UK friends are being really snarky to me over my use of Comic Sans. And I like Comic Sans, he tells bad puns and they make me laugh. I've left you alone for quite a while, and the reason being was that I wanted to give you a chance, I chance not to fuck up. And guess what you've been doing? No, not winning, not winning so much we're going to be sick of it.
Not building a wall.
Not Locking her up.
Not repealing or replacing Obama Care.
Not doing a god damned thing.
What we've been watching the President of These united States of America do, for these past 150+ days is be a fucking bitch about the Media's Treatment of him.
We've watched you try and fail, again and again and again try and distract us from the fact that you did not fairly win the 2016 election. You cheated. You used outside help, and now that outside help is biting you in the ass like the greatest tick in the world, giving you the lime disease you wish you could contract.
you've been complaining that you liked your old life, that you never knew how hard it's been, that you thought being President was easier, that blah blah blah.

you want to know what I see? I see a man who doesn't care about the Office of hte most Powerful Woman in the world.
Why not man?
Why not person?
Because, had you not been such a power hungry, ego maniacal., allegedly pedophile befriending, sex island hopping, russian colluding, Media abusing, press conference blocking, fuck head of a twat waffle overly cooked to look like a monkey scraped its orange bacteria infest shit into a business suit?
Hillary would've won.

Your house of cards is falling apart, your fears are coming to light, your wife, isn't really your wife. She's just staying with you out of continuing the appearance of marriage and your fucking cabinet is like a god damned whore house at this point. Because you keep trying to let everyone fuck you over like it's the best part of the job.
You want to know what I see in you Mr. President?
I see a failure who shouldn't have run in  the first place.
I see a man who only ran because of a lack of self confidence in himself because he wanted to impress whatever image of his father he had.
Was he a cold man to you?
Heartless?
Was he the Mustafa to your Simba, only to be killed by the proverbial Scar of the Real Estate Business? Stampeded by the herd of wildebeast that were the truth and dissatisfaction he felt in his own life?

Donald, I don't want you to die, let's get that perfectly fucking clear. Though the path you've set your self on is like a slow suicide. You fucking picked the absolute worst career path, because when they truly do find out what the fuck actually happened, and they will, you will be hung for treason, or lethally injected, or fried like a bucket of chicken on an electric griddle.
I don't say these things because I want them to happen, I say these things because they are in fact a god damn facet of Reality now.
You're going to be found out, and they will punish you for it, not only that, but they'll remove every piece of you like it was the best deciion they ever made, and Donald?
They're going to enjoy it.

I've been watching the news and while, yeah, CNN fucked up ONCE, the fact that you're threatening Morning Joe with a tabloid story?
 What the fuck is that even about?
Just what the fuck are you thinking?
 Are you seriously trying to blackmail someone WHILE in office? Really?
 Are you stupid, because 20% of 20% of Americans voted you into office for some stupid reason, and I guess it was because you showed them a pile of glittery rocks and THAT apparently was enough to satiate them!

I honestly don't get it anymore. I have watched your Presidency, and I honestly did give you a chance, I thought to myself, "Morgan, buddy, maybe he'll grow the fuck up and stop acting like a man-child shitting himself and getting the diaper caught in the escalator steps."
And ya want to know what the fuck actually happened?
You kept shitting in your diaper, and it got caught in the escalator of the American Psyche, and you've lost all your charm, all your repose, every bit of whatever made you an attractive candidate.
Gone.
Finito.
Reaped and stolen away.

I don't know what the hell you're thinking right now, nor do I particularly care because what you think doesn't matter anymore. What you say doesn't matter anymore. Because what you're saying and doing is being utterly over written by what the fuck your tweeting, and now your White House staff are scrambling around, trying to keep you from tweeting by stroking your tiny tiny tiny ego!
 Which apparently must be like a hot coal plunged into the freezing snow, because they keep having to fucking compliment you on something that's no longer fucking relevant anymore.

Your Election win is your only victory, it's your proverbial head on a spike, the only actual thing you've managed to accomplish because now that you're the President, the big boss of the park's residential Tree fort, the Russian hackers aren't there to help you anymore, and Donald, I've been wanting to say this to you for a long long long long time now:

But no matter what, the Tree Forts been locked up, and your bully friends can't come to play, because all the parents have heard what an absolute douche you truly are, and they are now complaining to park security.

Your slow refusal to accept the actual facts, that you really didn't win anything, that you. Donald Trump, are nothing but a commercial of President, because you'll only have the job for a short while. You want to quit, but your ego won't let you quit, because your not a quitter, think of your father!
What would he say?
What about Milania?
Or Baron?
What would they think of the great and mighty Donald John Trump?
They might mock you, call you a quitter, tell you you're nothing without that White House, remind you constantly of how utterly fucked you were for ever imagining that you'd be a successful president!

And of course, my Aussie friends, most of them at least, will harp on me, because they like being confrontational about that kind of thing. They want me to get riled up and rage, because apparently that's when I'm at my best, or worst. you see, and this is kind of a sidebar here, I love my friends to death, I truly do, but one thing I can't do well, is argue with them about a damned thing. True, I can moderate a Voice Channel and everyone usually falls into line, but when it comes to the big stuff? I'm at a loss. My Aussie friends love asking me questions I don't normally have the answers to, because they see the passion I have for something and they want to stoke it.

But this is nothing to stoke, because my anger with you has reached a level that just transcends anger. It's turned into disgust, moral, emotional, and physical disgust. The best way I can describe it is...
Take a cup of coffee.
 Leave it out for four days.
 Drink that.
That feeling four seconds after it hits your stomach?
That burning, sick feeling that makes you want to vomit blood and bile, that starts eating away at you until you want to scream and roll on the floor in such dire pain that no matter what you try to do; it's utterly pointless?

That's the feeling I get whenever I think of you, that's the emotional roller coaster that I've, for so long, removed myself from.
 I'm still full of rage, but I have to put that aside, because I want you to know, that I've never believed in you.
 Not from the moment you stated you were running, not the moment you were in the campaign mode, and not fucking bit.
 To me?
 You're like the kid who eats paste but somehow got elected class president because you had a shiny Pichu fidget Spinner and everyone wanted one. So, like all advertising, you told them what they wanted to hear, and they listened, but then you've consistently failed them!

Really?
Just, what the hell are you saying?
That you'd rather be forcefully removed from office by a panel of your peers?
Because, Donald, whether you like it or not, you work for US now, not the other way around. The American People as a whole are no longer divided on this issue. Yes, there are some that still support you, and to them I say, hold on to that feeling, treasure it, congratulations for supporting your candidate you forgotten people, because now you truly have forgotten them.

Coal mining is one of THE most hazardous jobs out there. Think about it, you getting into a truck and just tooting a horn, you honestly think that's a hard days work for Coal Miners?
You they they happily dig down in the mines, going in when they first start with clean untainted lungs and coming out with lungs that look blacker than a fifty year old chain smokers?
 Really?

Now you're taking away healthcare for nearly 32 million people, and I was right, you're the Fifth horseman of the Apocalypse, Blunt Ignorance. working side by side with death, disease, Famine, and war. Congratulations, you just initiated the end of the world.
You sad fat fuck.