Next we had Hunter Hearst Helmsley coming out dressed as Rocky Maivia (to a...[url="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_uFLMz7lMq0"]bizarre theme[/url]). HHH picked up the stick. "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN...do you smeeeeeelllll what Rocky has put in his hair?! Seriously, I wasn't aware it was possible for hair gel to go bad, but it smells--and looks--like I'm wearing roadkill on my head. Ok, now that we've gotten my ridiculous hairdo out of the way, it's time for me to talk up a blue streak about how awesome the Trailblazers are despite the fact that WE! DON'T HAVE! A SINGLE! GODDAMN! TIIIIIIIIITLE! and most of us have never won anything bigger than an 8th grade spelling bee. AOL KEYWORD 8THGRADE! AOL KEYWORD BLUESTREAK! AOL KEYWORD ROADKILL! And be sure to let me know if I go two sentences without a dumb catchphrase. If I don't give you something to chant along to you might catch on that I am! nothing! but a gigantic! 3rrrrrrrrrrrrd generation! LOOOOOOOOOOSER!"

[url="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TeZBmXPOcvc"]Rocky Maivia came out, spitting mad.[/url] "Alright, alright Hunter. Play time's over! I don't know where you got that hot garbage soundtrack from, all I know is you look like a hot mess, you smell like a hot mess... seriously. There's no such thing as naturally occuring hair gel, no matter what Joanna might have told you, and for your sad attempt at cosplay: Rocky Maivia is gonna take that rug right off your head, wash that garbage out of it, give a good long shower, shampoo it up real nice, blow dry it until it's the most stylish goddamn thing that's ever touched your nerd ass, TURN THAT SUMBITCH SIDEWAYS! AND SHOVE IT! RIGHT UP! YOUR CANDY ASS!" The crowd chanted along and Rocky basked in the cheers as HHH responded.

"Whoa, whoa whoa, Junior, let's take a step back for a second. Sure, you could come down here and get your ass beat by me, but that might compromise your ability to wrestle in tonight's main event...against THE MAN THEY CALL VADER!"

Rocky cocked an eyebrow. "Cute. Y'know what, I don't want whatever crap you put in your head to gum up my fists anyway. I'll just take the ass-whupping I was gonna administer to you, unleash half of it on Captain Jockstrap tonight and save the rest for you. Just know, sometime real soon Hunter, you're gonna be in for an ass-whupping and a half courtesy of the MOST ELECTRIFYING MAN IN PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING!"