Session Start: Mon Apr 11 18:42:30 2011
Session Ident:#HotGunPorn
[18:42] ->> You joined channel #HotGunPorn
[18:42] ->> Channel Modes are: +nt
[18:42] ->> Channel created on 3/30/2011 1:07:00 PM
[18:42] ->> Attempting to join #HGPOOC
[19:34] * Harper (cgiirc@Rizon-7F7C7E53.phlapa.fios.verizon.net) has joined #HotGunPorn
[20:11] ->> You are now known as Yana_the_Russian
[20:35] * Brand is now known as Brand|Class
[20:40] * dungeonfag (~doomed1@Rizon-44DCA10C.hsd1.nj.comcast.net) has joined #HotGunPorn
[21:25] * Harper is now known as GMHarper
[21:26] * Mr_Rage is now known as Holly_IS
[21:26] * Holly_IS is now known as Holly_S
[21:41] * dungeonfag is now known as Mr_Jacques
[21:41] <Yana_the_Russian> "Last time on Hot Gun Porn!" We see Yana hauling the metal case to her workshop, throwing it onto a workbench. A small pile of tools. She opens it! So many papers. Yana pouring over intelligence reports, lots of head scratching into the early morning hours. Holding a picture of a little girl with green eyes that looks too damn familiar...
[21:43] <GMHarper> Alright. What time do ya'll want to set out to drop this guy off?
[21:43] <Mr_Jacques> An hour before dawn. try and stay ahead.
[21:45] <Yana_the_Russian> "Holly!" The door to her workshop finally opens, a cigar between her lips as she steps out, bags under her eyes.
[21:45] * Holly_S tak-tak-tak... She doesn't look up.
[21:45] <GMHarper> Alright. When you guys get up, Petya is sitting at the kitchen table, a big fucking bottle of vodka cradled in his arms. Looks like he's passed out.
[21:46] * Mr_Jacques walks in with his coat. "Did you find anything?"
[21:47] <Mr_Jacques> *to Yana, about the case
[21:47] <Yana_the_Russian> "...come unt look." She grabs him none too pleasntly and drags him inside.
[21:48] <Mr_Jacques> "Ach, I don't really care." he stumbles in, not too fond of being dragged.
[21:49] <Yana_the_Russian> She points to the workbench with the open case, paperwork spread all over. She's holding something, but keeps it to herself for now.
[21:49] <Yana_the_Russian> "You are understandingk zis sheet. Tell me vhat you sink."
[21:50] <GMHarper> It's a bunch of dosieres and assorted intelligence packets. Very, Very dense stuff. Roll me Scholarship.
[21:55] <GMHarper> Jacques... It would probably take you hours to put this stuff together in any meaningful way, but the dosieres are easy enough to follow: Bunch of older russian men and women, all tied to the KGB, all capable of some horrible stuff. Oh, and someone who looks a hell of a lot like Petya. Could be a bad photo though.
[21:56] <GMHarper> His dosiere has some interesting stuff in it, if you care to look.
[21:57] <Yana_the_Russian> "Vell?"
[21:57] <GMHarper> But, reading in too deep will cost you time.
[21:58] <Mr_Jacques> "Oh good, it wasn't rigged. You're lucky that it didn't burn everything inside..." Jacques doesn't want to look, but his curiosity gets the better of him as he glances over the documents. "Just some old dosieres..." He takes a quick scan of Petya's in specific.
[21:58] <Yana_the_Russian> "Bah!" She throws her hands up. "Holly?" She marches out and over the the little asian cutie.
[21:59] * Holly_S pooouuuts. She hunches over her laptop, typing angrily.
[21:59] <GMHarper> The suns starting to come up. Petya is still curled up around his (Yana's) bottle.
[21:59] <Yana_the_Russian> "Holly." She kneels down. "Holly, am needingk you."
[22:00] * Holly_S turns with her laptop, putting her narrow backside towards Yana. She's extremely sober, by the looks of her eyes. "No."
[22:01] <Yana_the_Russian> "Please, Holly." Yana gets in as close as she can, nuzzling against her. "Frenchman ez useless. Am needingk your help."
[22:02] <Mr_Jacques> After the scan through, Jacques puts the files away, closes the breifcase and steps out. "Yana, we have to get going. I don't want those paramilitary fucks to find us before we leave port."
[22:03] <Holly_S> Begrudgingly, Holly makes eye-contact. "Hafta make it up to me." And she stands, closing her laptop.
[22:03] <Yana_the_Russian> "Anysink."
[22:04] <Holly_S> "Okay. I read it on drive over."
[22:04] <Yana_the_Russian> A big ol' kiss for Holly, screw the others!
[22:05] <Mr_Jacques> "We go now, or it's more than our reputation on the line, it's our fucking lives." Jacques picks up Petya "Let's go"
[22:05] <GMHarper> *HURK* "AH, NO, NOT THE ELECTRODES AGAIN" *zzzZZzzZzzzZzzzz*
[22:05] <Holly_S> "!" The Asian struggles, and blurts out harshly. "Not enough." But she escapes before things can get worse (better?) for her mood, handily lifting the case from Jacques and heading for the van.
[22:06] <Yana_the_Russian> Yana fetches her big gun, going prepared this time. Then she follows after Holly.
[22:11] * DF_Netbook (~doomed1@Rizon-44DCA10C.hsd1.nj.comcast.net) has joined #HotGunPorn
[22:14] * Holly_S reads the file busily in the backseat, bent in half like a trapper-keeper, compressing information to amusing mnemonics using Yana's name. None of them would make a damn bit of sense tomorrow, but still.
[22:15] <GMHarper> Petyas coming too. ["Oooohhh ggooooooood...."]
[22:15] * DF_Netbook is now known as Mr-Jacques
[22:15] <Yana_the_Russian> ["The toad finally wakes up."]
[22:22] * Holly_S fiddles with the papers, peering over at Petya, back at the papers...
[22:23] <GMHarper> ["Eeeh, Whazzat? Some kind of joke?"] He holds his head.
[22:25] * Mr-Jacques keeps his head on a swivel, checking mirrors and surroundings. No joy if we're intercepted unknowingly. "Cut the chatter. I'm trying to concentrate on the road."
[22:25] <Yana_the_Russian> ["Something like that."] She pulls the picture of the little girl from her pocket, looking it over for what must be the hundredth time.
[22:26] * Mr-Jacques glances over. "If that's from the case, make sure you put it back. I'd like not to draw the ire of our contractors..."
[22:27] * Holly_S boggles, though it's hard to tell, before staring holes into the side of Yana's head. Remembering she's supposed to be mad, she turns it into a more apprpriate scowl.
[22:27] <GMHarper> He narrows his eyes "Vat is that?"
[22:27] <Yana_the_Russian> "Nothingk uf concern to you." She snarls.
[22:28] <GMHarper> "Vhoa, hey now, no need to be so snippy. Buh, my head hurts..."
[22:29] <Yana_the_Russian> The picture goes back into her pocket as she looks over to check on Holly's progress.
[22:29] * Holly_S scooowl. But she does close the case, locking it up tight. "Done."
[22:29] <GMHarper> You pass the noose hanging from the sign marking the edge of town. After a moment or so, you notice a black car, following you from quite a distance. Not too big a deal, it's a 2 lane road.
[22:29] <Yana_the_Russian> "Zo?"
[22:31] * Mr-Jacques sighs. "Petya... What kinds of friends do you have waiting for us?"
[22:32] * Holly_S sets the suitcase down and points dramatically at the man with them. "He is not Petya!"
[22:34] <GMHarper> "Yknow, just some russian "buisnessmen". Pressed me into retrieving this shit." he waves a hand at the case. "More trouble than- Vhat?"
[22:34] <GMHarper> "What is the tiny woman talking about?"
[22:34] * Yana_the_Russian pulls the power drill from her toolbelt, pressing the tip of the bit to the back of his neck.
[22:35] <Holly_S> ...Shit, even when I'm sober I get my wires crossed. Rubbing her temple, Holly corrects herself with more aggravation than she's ever shown. "Er. The dossier is not him."
[22:35] <GMHarper> "!! H-h-h-hey"
[22:35] <Mr-Jacques> "What kind of 'businessmen'? Armed?"
[22:35] <Yana_the_Russian> She looks to Holly...and pulls the drill away. "Vhich eez et?"
[22:36] <GMHarper> "Arnt they all? And what Dossiere? I'm in there?"
[22:37] <Mr-Jacques> "All I needed to hear." Jacques presses into the pedal a bit, accellerating, keeping an eye on the car behind them.
[22:38] <Holly_S> "Ja." She points at Petya again, trying this one more time. "You. Are an echo of someone else!"
[22:39] <Yana_the_Russian> ". . ." That made even less sense this time Holly.
[22:39] <GMHarper> They're excelarating. The exit to the freeway is coming up.
[22:39] <Holly_S> "Someone she," she points at Yana with her other hand, not wanting to call her by name, "knew."
[22:39] <GMHarper> *accelerating. derp
[22:40] <Yana_the_Russian> "Vhat?"
[22:40] <GMHarper> "Vhat?"
[22:40] <Yana_the_Russian> "Am never seeingk heem bevore."
[22:40] <GMHarper> *He pops a pill*
[22:40] <Yana_the_Russian> "Stop zat."
[22:40] <Holly_S> "See?!"
[22:40] <GMHarper> *Crunch*
[22:42] <Yana_the_Russian> "Zhat makes no sense Holly."
[22:42] <Yana_the_Russian> "I vould remember-"
[22:44] <GMHarper> You head onto the freeway... and immediately from out of NOWHERE a white van charges in from the passing lane, trying to slam you off the road and into the concrete barrier set up to separate road from dense forest.
[22:45] * Holly_S grabs at the seat, easily knocked around.
[22:45] <Mr-Jacques> "Merde!" Jacques brakes hard and downshifts as fast as he can react.
[22:46] <Yana_the_Russian> As Yana readies to put her gun through its paces she puts a picture in Holly's hands. "Vas zere anysingk about a leetle girl ez ze case?"
[22:47] <Holly_S> Her face pales, mouth freezing midword. It makes her flailings for the wheel quite ineffectual. "U-um. Later."
[22:47] <GMHarper> The van pounds you into concrete, scratching up the paint. but you shake them off. The black car comes carreening onto the highway. Look
[22:47] <GMHarper> Holly, you end up in Jacques lap.
[22:47] * Mr-Jacques (~doomed1@Rizon-44DCA10C.hsd1.nj.comcast.net) Quit ( Quit: And I don't know where to look, my words just break and melt )
[22:47] <GMHarper> It's very hard for either of you to drive effectively now.
[22:47] <Holly_S> A rare occurrence for him.
[22:51] <Yana_the_Russian> She starts rolling down the window some, the barrel of her rifle sticking out. "Am beingk very pissed now, eet ez goot I geet to keel somevun now."
[22:51] <Mr_Jacques> "Yeah, you take the wheel." Jacques slips from beneath Holly and reaches between the seats for his SAW
[23:01] * Yana_the_Russian adjusts herself in the back seat, zeroing in on the white van's front windows. With a sadistic little smile she pulls the trigger.
[23:05] * Holly_S grabs the steering wheel to make a hard turn, slamming into the van as Yana puts a bullet in, getting them some breathing room.
[23:05] <GMHarper> The van swerves and attempts to right itself on the road, dodging cars.
[23:07] <Mr_Jacques> The custom SAW comes out from under the sheet! Jacques pushes the Client's head down as he puts the gun down on its bipod pointed at the car behind them.
[23:08] <GMHarper> "Gah! Whatchit, asshole!"
[23:09] <GMHarper> The white van shoots forward, weaving in and out of traffic. A passenger in the black car sticks an Uzi out the window and starts pouring on the fire.
[23:09] <Yana_the_Russian> "Put ze top down!"
[23:11] * Holly_S swerves and slams on the pedal, putting them out of firing range until a semi swoops past, forcing the convertible back into the left lane.
[23:12] <Yana_the_Russian> "Bah." Yana sets about busting out the back window. She moves her rifle into firing position and aims for the driver of the black car.
[23:15] * Mr_Jacques (~doomed1@Rizon-44DCA10C.hsd1.nj.comcast.net) Quit ( *.net *.split )
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[23:17] <Yana_the_Russian> "Vuck!" She leans over to roll down the window and adjust her firing position.
[23:17] * Holly_S pulls away from the wall, tires groaning as she forces the car to decelerate and fall into position, a fair distance behind the van.
[23:18] * dungeonfag is now known as Mr_Jacques
[23:18] <GMHarper> "Vhat! Vhat!? I can't see with this asshole sitting on my head!"
[23:18] <Holly_S> "Shut up!"
[23:21] * DF_Netbook (~doomed1@Rizon-44DCA10C.hsd1.nj.comcast.net) Quit ( Ping timeout: 240 seconds )
[23:21] * Mr_Jacques (~doomed1@Rizon-44DCA10C.hsd1.nj.comcast.net) Quit ( *.net *.split )
[23:23] * DF_Netbook (~doomed1@Rizon-44DCA10C.hsd1.nj.comcast.net) has joined #HotGunPorn
[23:24] <GMHarper> Hey Holly, what you did was so awesome... that they're opening the van's back doors to congratulate you! with bullets! The doors open up to reveal a stripped out van, some reinforced armor plates, and a mounted .50 machine gun manned by a grinning man in fatigues and chomping a cigar.
[23:24] * DF_Netbook is now known as Mr-Jacques
[23:24] <GMHarper> Looks like he's wearing those heavy duty ear muffs used by flight techs
[23:25] <Yana_the_Russian> "...zhat ez an awesome gun."
[23:25] <Holly_S> That. Is a gun I would like to see explode. But no time for fantasies, we must fly
[23:26] <GMHarper> *DAKKADAKKADAKKADAKKADAKKA*
[23:29] <Holly_S> Ohgodohgodohgodohgod. Tires squeal. The world slows down. Holly cranks the wheel so hard the column cracks. The tires spray black smoke and the exhaust roars. Pavement explodes and chips as bullets meant to turn humans into pulp narrowly miss. "Ohgodohgodohgod."
[23:30] * dungeonfag (~doomed1@Rizon-44DCA10C.hsd1.nj.comcast.net) has joined #HotGunPorn
[23:31] <GMHarper> Sigh...
[23:31] * dungeonfag is now known as Mr_Jacques
[23:37] <GMHarper> Not to be entirely outdone, one of the men in the black sedan leans out the window with a goddamn RPG. It should be noted that he's blonde, wearing a black suit and tie, and is wearing mirrored aviators.
[23:37] * Mr_Jacques moves the saw onto Petya's back and starts shooting out the open window, at the tires, but the client moves "Stay still, damnit" And misses. "Holly, get us in front of the black car!"
[23:41] <GMHarper> The rocket propelled grenade just *barely* misses you guys, slamming into some happless minivan, resulting in a MASSIVE fireball and flaming wreck. (Fortunately, the minivan was only occupied by several american pedophiles on holiday, so the audience dosnt care too much.) Your car is peppered with shrapnel, and the concussion makes it a bit harder to drive.
[23:47] <Holly_S> Goddamn pedos. They were probably leering at Holly anyway. Picking glass and steaming asphalt out of her hair, the frazzled girl makes a Chinese Lanechange to pull in right in front of the black car, nearly front-ending it and taking them out of the van's arc of destruction.
[23:52] * Yana_the_Russian winces as she adjusts her position, feeling every bit of shrapnel that hit her. She fire's on the black car's engine, confident in the hole she put in it. One more... "Ez like ze old days."
[23:53] <GMHarper> Holly, Teenage Wasteland just came on the radio, and you don't even remember turning on the radio
[23:54] <Mr_Jacques> "Right, I want to get a little air..." Jacques reaches under the dash, looking for it... and finds it. The Frenchman yanks the ripchord back, sending the convertable roof flying off! The saw now gets propped on the windshield. "No one fucks with a Frenchman's car and gets away with it!"
[23:56] <GMHarper> The roof goes flying off the convertable, slamming into the black sedan, forcing it to swerve and stop, spinning out.
[23:57] <Mr_Jacques> "Now bring us in front of that Van"