(Try to Be) As Crazy As Me


Author | Lim Yo-Hwan


Introduction


He is a professional gamer that carries dazzling nicknames, such as the "Emperor of Terran," and "Hope of Terran." During his 11th grade, while at a friend's house to study, he accidentally came across the game Starcraft; he now spends the most of his time playing this game. He chose Terran, which was considered inferior, and used the dropship, which was ignored by many because of its slow speed, to promote the "entertainment of watching" to the fans of Starcraft. With every given moment, he practices his games relentlessly. With over 500,000 members of the online Daum fan cafe (Lim Yo-Hwan's Dropship) alone, he has established his stardom.

Debuting in the fall of 1999 as a pro-gamer with the team IS, he began with his victory in the SBS Multi-Game Championship, and made his id SlayerS_'BoxeR' known to the public. After exhibiting brilliant plays that brought his accession from the "Hope of Terran" to the "Emperor of Terran," he placed 1st in the 2001 World Cyber Games and elevated the stature of Korean progamers. Moving to the team sponsored by Orion in 2002, he set the record as the first progamer with a salary of 100 million won. In October 2004, at the age of 25, he is now the captain of the team SK Telecom T1, with an annual salary exceeding 200 million won.


10 ∙ Progamer Lim Yo-Hwan, the E-Sports Icon


The addition of e-sports organizations to major companies, with spectators in the hundreds of thousands, and the advance of e-sports led by the government, is a phenomenon that displays our country's blooming vision of e-sports. The vital function to this e-sports renaissance is the PC game known as Starcraft. Since its first appearance to the world in April 1998, it has kept its throne for over 6 years among many other PC, online, and arcade games. Aided by the increase of PC cafes and their mutual benefits, with 6 million copies of the game sold in our country alone, and over 10 million users which is enough to reach the Guinness Book of Records, it has received nationwide affection.

E-Sports, with the representation of Starcraft, has increasingly expanded its territory and created at least 200,000 related occupations, completely rejuvenating the related industries. Moreover, it has had extensive effects socially, economically, and culturally, enough for professional gaming to be the youth's most desired occupation. The person who has played a crucial role in intensifying such love for Starcraft is the progamer Lim Yo-Hwan.

Receiving affection from the fans and media, which could be considered as the most important factor to e-sports, Lim Yo-Hwan, with the thorough mentality of a professional as his foundation, has imprinted on the minds of the public through his sincere games that progamers are not "game-addicts without any prudence," but "hardworking professionals."

The unrelenting efforts of Lim Yo-Hwan that are placed in this book vividly portray the movement and evolution of our country's e-sports. Furthermore, by uncovering a realistic view of the spectacular progamers, I believe that the book acts as a compass to the youth, telling them what they need to keep in mind if they are to realize their dreams of becoming progamers.

As a fellow e-sports member, I would like to again congratulate the publication of this book, and hope that through it many people will be able to have the correct understanding of e-sports and progamers.

— Korea E-Sports Association President Kim Yungman (2004)

12 ∙ Hope on the Road Not Taken


I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

— From Frost’s ‘The Road Not Taken’

Every time I read Frost's poem 'The Road Not Taken,' I feel a twinge in one side of my heart. Six years after my transformation from the 'Internet Café bum' to a 'progamer,' I look back at myself from where I am now more and more often. I look back at the road that I took, quietly examining the footsteps I left behind. As there are footsteps that lead in one direction, there are also interrupted ones. These footsteps make me think with satisfaction, 'I've walked many difficult paths.' At the same time, I also feel traces of altruism when I think, 'I'd like the footsteps I left to be someone's guiding light when he is lost.'

That satisfaction and altruism made me mature as a 'progamer.' When I first began playing, I played only for myself. Like a 100m sprinter who only looks forward, becoming the champion was my only and final goal. I could not even hear the voices of my fans, my unwavering supporters. Then, one day, I realized that the satisfaction that I took pride in was planted there by the people cheering me on for taking 'the road not taken,' that the ones who did not leave but watched silently, even if I lost, were the 'guides' who encouraged me to keep going down the road as a 'progamer…' Now I play for the ones who enjoy my games, the ones who come to watch my games. Maybe this is why I try even harder to do my best than when I 'only played for myself.'

Through this book, I want to convey how someone worthless like me was able to stand up to the world; my own 'dreams and hopes' that I never gave up even when everyone ignored me. I want to share my bloody tears with those who cry because the road they chose was too difficult, or those that gave up their dreams to take the road that was a little easier.

I thank my manager Joo Hoon, coach Sung Sanghoon, writer Seo Yoonhee, chairman Sim Hyun, director of BookCare Seo Mincheol, BookRoad PD Choi Boyoon and others for helping me write this book.

From autumn's doorstep in 2004,

— Lim Yo-Hwan
Chapter One: The Game-Crazed Kid


Cutie and rascal, my two childhood nicknames.
When my bright round eyes and thick lips harmoniously created a million dollar smile, the neighborhood adults couldn’t handle the cuteness.

If only I could have remained a cutie.
I wonder how upset my parents were since I didn't study and was mad about games.
Still, mesmerized by gaming, I couldn’t trade it for all the world and gave it all of my teen years.

16 ∙ The Birth of the Emperor


I haven't slept for four days. I couldn't lie down in comfort. Fortunately, my mind is as clear as the autumn sky. The mighty opponent most likely to defeat me is not the player sitting across from me. It's me. If I beat myself, give it my best I will not lose this game. My laziness is my most fearful enemy. Defeat is the acceptance of my own laziness. I practiced without regard to day or night for today's game. I pushed onward until my practice partners collapsed, begging to stop playing. In a game, only the last man standing has the privilege of making the victory toast.

I'm now sitting on the player's seat. The blinding lights are shining and the cameras are fixed on me. "YEAH~~ YEAH~~" I can hear the cries. They are the cheers of the countless fans surrounding me. Even more fans are watching me in front of their television. Everyone is waiting to see what kind of game I will play today. Why am I sitting here? There’s only one answer—for victory.

I input the alias SLayerS_`BoxeR` and await my adversary's entrance. The lights and cameras vanish far away and even the fans' cries are now inaudible. Instantaneously I'm alone in complete tranquility. Soon the curtains will rise. I am the protagonist and I am the victor, and the stage for the game that only I can finish will open.

The momentarily darkened monitor soon shows my position. The game has begun. My heart rate begins to gradually rise and my hands, my eyes, and my whole body is moving towards only one thing. I have to strike before my opponent deduces my cards. A bit more, a bit more. But at the same time I gather myself. Because of the ambition to seize victory, I had once lost everything I had prepared so long for in an instant. I cannot commit another painful instance to my memory. The moment of victory approaches me. 10 seconds, 9 seconds, 2 seconds, 1 second. Finally the dropship revealed itself.

I load the troops that are already standing by. And I fly the dropship to the region completely unexpected by the opponent. Of course, this too was a route discovered through practice. It passes through the areas where the opponent never scouts and infiltrates where the defense is weakest. The dropship flies. To prepare for the possible counter-attack I also check my main base relentlessly. I construct a defensive line that is not easy to penetrate. Now all that's left is for the units to unload safely from the dropship.

Between the already scoped out buildings, the covert dropship exposes itself in the enemy base, after having taken the unrevealed route at an unexpected moment. Even if the opponent had predicted it, he cannot stop me. That is my strategy. Using the enemy buildings as shields, I destroy the units and buildings one by one, but quickly, even before his reinforcements arrive. I still have a second force left even if my tired units are eliminated by the reinforcements. I have to defend my base as perfectly as I execute the attack.

The outcome hinges on this. If I'm hurt as much as I've damaged the enemy, then the strategy has failed. Even as I assault the enemy base my eyes are always observing my base. In the end, I have built a new squad of units from the moment the dropship departed.

This is the most critical moment. I have to steal even the time my opponent has to breathe. If left alone, the enemy will revitalize. The enemy will prey on the unguarded moment of my thinking that I've won. I must constrict him completely. At the last instant, I must not have even a modicum of hesitation. Hesitation about the road I'm taking, the choices I'm making, the future. The moment I hesitate, the opponent will find my weakness. Until the enemy completely acknowledges defeat, Nike, the goddess of victory, does not raise my hand. Thus I cannot stop.

With a final attack as sharp as a sword and as swift as a flash, I must completely dominate the opponent. Precise timing! A moment I cannot pass by, my units trample over the enemy base. I set ablaze everything to make restoration impossible, and pressure him to admit defeat. However the opponent cannot let go of even the thin thread of a hope. Coldly I must crush even that hope. After all the fibers of hope have been severed, the opponent gives up everything and declares GG. At last the goddess Nike timidly gives me a kiss. Slowly I lift my eyes from the monitor and look at the fans. I take off my headset and listen to the cries of the fans.

Today I sit again on this seat. Tomorrow I will sit here again. I will be standing on the stage for the game until the day I declare GG to myself.


20 ∙ The Little Prince with Three Sisters


One day when I was about four, my heart was stolen by the wheel of a broken tricycle, abandoned in a narrow alley. It was split in half between the seat and the handlebars. With the one wheel attached to the handlebar, I could have fun all day. I ran to the end with only the one wheel. Until the end of the road I know.

"Yo-Hwan, Yo-Hwan!"
Whenever the sun set, my mom wandered the neighborhood looking for me. When I was into something, I became a child with a lost sense of time and space. That day my mother couldn't find me in that neighborhood alley. Clutching her scalding chest, she went around the neighborhood numerous times, calling out my name. Even after the sunset and the darkness fell, my mother could not find me anywhere. Crying, she roamed the streets and soon went all the way to the police office in the nearby neighborhood, where she finally found meme, not even crying, smiling brightly as I ate the bread the policeman gave me; me, holding the broken tricycle wheel.

Why I kept the broken wheel and did not throw it away, or how I ended up at the neighborhood police office, I cannot remember at all. I only remember very clearly that since I was young, I had to do what I liked or wanted no matter what. I was a very stubborn kid.

I pause for a moment when people ask me, "How many siblings do you have?" It's because when I say, "Only three sisters," the response is usually, "I bet you were treated royally." What kind of parents would raise their child thoughtlessly? Just as there are no fingers that don't hurt when bitten, all of us grew up receiving lots of love from our parents. When I was born my youngest sister was seven, so I the age gap was too great for us to play together. When I think about it, I think my sisters were a bit envious of me. They were too old to find me irresistibly cute, and too young to carry the burden of taking care of the youngest one. Also, perhaps they were a bit spiteful of me since the attention of our parents and others around were focused on me.
There is another reaction from others to "I have three sisters." It's a comment that I might have grown up reasonably femininely. It's because of the idea that I might have been influenced to an extent by my sisters’ tastes. People don't say that just based on their biases on how a boy or a girl should grow up. It seems that they think that I got used to the feminine look without realization as I wore pink tshirts and flower buttoned-up shirts that were handed down by my three sisters. But from the outset, I did not join my sisters' tea parties or doll games. And since there was such a big age difference I did not inherit their old clothes. Moreover, even if I didn't say anything the household was always uproarious and my sisters never included me when they were gossiping. Rather, I was the silent type. I was also the youngest one, but they never sent the little me on errands. In that way my sisters and I lived in two separate worlds.

However, my sisters were still essential, precious people to me. Since both of my working parents were constantly busy, the time we spent together was little, and as I grew older, my sisters became responsible for my education. Perhaps briefly they harbored childhood jealousy and envy, but when I ran around outside until sunset, my sisters were the ones who sat me down and taught me letters or read me storybooks. They were at times like friends, sometimes like mothers, and other times like teachers to me. I was a 'Little Prince' with three sisters.


23 ∙ Arcades and Soccer


When I was young, I had a lot of time for myself. Because both of my parents worked and my sisters were busy with their school lives, my friends were very important to me. My sisters wouldn't play a game of marbles or slap-match with me, so I needed friends all the more. I was happy with anything we did, as long we I spent the time together, whether it was just running aimlessly down the sloping road of the town, or playing with a spinning top until I was soaked with sweat. Of course, I can't leave out the memories at the arcade stores.

The arcades were an exciting new world to me and my friends. Sitting in a dark corner of the arcade store, we were immersed in the games until we couldn't hear the clanging of coins in our pockets. When I ran out of coins, I watched my skillful friends play, and played the game mentally by watching. I was content, whether it was sitting there for one hour or two hours; I didn't get up until the owner of the store kicked me out, or when my parents came looking for me.

I can't remember whether I was competitive as a child, but I am certain that I never fell behind my friends in anything that we did. Especially since my friends and I were good enough to take on the challengers of the town in the arcade games.

One afternoon, as the sun was setting, I was absorbed in a fighting game. Punch! Flying kick! Spinning kick! Finding the opponent's weakness, I employed all kinds of magnificent techniques and was having an exciting fight to the finish. Though the game was only controlled by my fingers, I was using my entire body to fight in the game. Then I heard the sound of the door opening. Right away I had a bad feeling about it. Immediately the footsteps sounded to be coming closer. Even in the midst of the noisy arcade games, I could hear them. My eyes and hands were deeply engaged in the game, but my ears pricked at the noise, cautiously listening to the footsteps. Then suddenly, the sounds disappeared.

"Slap." The slap on the back stung. "Yo-Hwan!" My mom had entered the arcade store while she was looking for me. In a situation like that, one can't hesitate to give up the game. I just ran. I ran home before my mom could arrive. As long as I fled from the critical moment, I knew that my mom's heart would soften and she wouldn't punish me as bad when she got home. But my dad was different. There was no way of escaping on the day that my dad arrived at the arcades. My dad disciplined me with a stick, and never allowed his one and only youngest son to spend the time at the arcades instead of studying.

But it was only momentary. I went to the arcades the next day, even after being chastised by my dad. My dad that punished me, sighing in distress of what I might become- I wonder how he felt, when I told him that I would continue playing games even after the age of twenty, those games that I played since I was a child. It's most certain that my dad must have been disappointed and worried. Maybe that is why I tried harder as a progamer; to be a better son, a son that he could be proud of.

Did I become a progamer because of the skills that I've acquired in the arcades? There are times when I think that I've been able to become a progamer because of soccer. One could wonder what the connection is between soccer and games. Soccer requires great amounts of stamina and physical strength. At the time, I was strong enough to run around the field all day and not become exhausted. Soccer is also an aggressive, full body-contact sport; it can be a sport that one would not like very much, if they are not so competitive. Perhaps I was born with an inclination towards sports. At the same time, I’m fortunate to have been born in an era of e-sports.

Since my elementary years, there were many soccer clubs, but I had not once considered learning soccer professionally. I think my parents had some influence in it. To my parents, a student's most important task was to study. When my parents knew the truth of my playing soccer in the field everyday, they became very worried that I might try to play soccer professionally. It seems that they were worried that their only son may become seriously injured while playing soccer, or that being a professional athlete would be too physically demanding; ultimately, they opposed my becoming a soccer player.

So what if I can't become an athlete? When I attended school, I enjoyed spending the free time playing soccer with my friends. In middle school, there were tournaments among the classrooms. Our group didn't particularly play the best, but we were to play against the class that was expected to win the tournament. Normally, when I played soccer, I simply enjoyed running and playing with my friends, and wasn't concerned with winning or losing.

But there are certain games that you must win, like this class soccer tournament. Because they were the favored group, many people thought that we would most certainly lose. But the match is only determined by the whistle of the referee. As long as they don't score, will we not win?
I was the goalkeeper. In a neighborhood soccer game, where the skills were similar, the goalkeeper's role is an important variable. And I blocked every ball that came flying towards the goal. Whether it is studying, soccer, or games, the most important variable is the persistence in winning and how hard you try with concentration. I tried my best in my part as a goalkeeper; it was simply the idea of a goalkeeper's role of not letting the ball enter the goal. The result was 1:0, our victory. My friends and I cheered happily.

But the teacher of the opposing class approached me. "Our class lost because of you. Because you didn't get scored on, at least you can get a knock on the head." The teacher of the losing class spited me, as he knocked me on the head with his knuckles. When I think about it, it seems that I really made an effort to block each ball. I don't know where that strength came from.

Soccer didn't just teach me how to be competitive. There are rules in a soccer match. The players move according to the rules. But every player's movements are different. There are those that freeze in fear when the opponent tries to tackle, and those that crumple to the ground when hit by another player. Those players can never taste the joy of victory.

It may be hard when a bigger player collides with me and I may fall to the ground, but if the ball is given to me, I must run towards the goal. Under no circumstances should I lose the ball to my opponents. If they steal the ball from me, I should have the competitive nature to be able to pursue him with my dying strength and steal it. This is what I learned from soccer. Like sprinting towards the goal, I must sprint down my path; like winning a soccer match, I will continue running forward until I am the victor of my life.


28 ∙ You Want to Repeat the High School Exam?


The school only wanted studying. It was the same for my parents; they considered studying to be the only shortcut to success in life. But I didn’t listen to my teachers or parents. I didn’t try to listen to them. I didn’t understand why I needed these studies, and no one explained why. No matter how much my teachers and parents repeated the words, “Study, study,” I could not find a reason to study. And so my school life was simply a game of endurance. I would spend the day in class falling asleep, scribbling on the paper, or blankly staring outside the window. My only reason for attending school was my friends; I was able to play soccer with them. After school, I would always spend time in the field, playing soccer with my friends. I thought that I would be sixteen forever. In my third year of junior high school (9th grade), at the age of sixteen, I had no idea of what I really wanted to do in life.

After spending the third year of junior high school only with soccer, the high school entrance examination date drew near unexpectedly. The conferences for the high school entrance applications also began. As the homeroom teacher placed my report card in front of us, my mother let out a deep sigh. I wished I could hide myself in a hole in the ground. The homeroom teacher then initiated the conversation.

“With these grades, it will be difficult to enter an academic high school. You ought to send him to a business-industry school.” “What? But this is my only son; how could I send him there?”

“If we applied to the academic high school and were to be rejected, we would have to repeat the high school entrance examination (repeat another year). It seems better to just send him to the business-industry school.”

“No. Please write the application to an academic high school, no matter what. Yo-Hwan will definitely be accepted.”
I couldn’t raise my head. I hadn’t the slightest clue that my grades were poor enough to make the entrance to an academic high school difficult. But when my teacher spoke of the business-industry school, I became wide-awake. If I didn’t enter an academic high school, I would experience for the first time this thing called ‘failure.’ I was afraid. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to enter a business-industry school, but I was sorry that it came to a point where I almost couldn’t enter an academic high school, which my parents wanted. I excruciatingly felt for the first time how painful it was to disappoint my parents. My pride was also wounded, that it was not that I would choose to go to a business-industry school, but that I had no choice because of my grades. I couldn’t remain a failure in that way.

After the conference with my teacher, there were about forty days until the high school entrance examination. During the forty days, I detached myself from soccer and the arcades. I only studied, sitting at my desk. If I recall those days, my parents would say that I was quite admirable and remarkable. They wondered what had happened to the rascal that lived with a wall placed between himself and his studies, sitting in front of his desk everyday.

My parents were still very worried that I might fail to enter the academic high school. But they didn’t have to worry any longer. I safely was able to enter Sungbo High School. At the time, Sungbo High School had better facilities and higher college acceptance rates than other neighboring schools, so my mother was very pleased. She considered my acceptance to Sungbo High School as a first step to entering a top-rate university. However, after entering high school, I again spent my time not with textbooks, but with soccer.

During my moments of studying, I was miserable in how many years I had to study without question. Even with my personality that tends to finish something that I find interest in, I was unable to study consistently for even six months. It was because I had no goals. Rather than ‘What shall I study in college?’ I only had a vague idea such as ‘I probably should go to college, since others are going, too. If I have to select a major, should I pick biology, since I like to study living things?’ It would be correct to say that rather than seriously worrying about my future, I put up with one day at a time. Though I couldn’t disobey the words of my parents that seemed to say that end of the world will come if I don’t go to school, I wasn’t certain that only studying hard will prevent the end of the world. I went to school because it was undisputed, and I enjoyed running around with my friends, playing soccer.

“Dad, who am I?”
A few years ago, there was a popular commercial with this phrase. In the deep question concerning one’s identity, the father’s expression was surprisingly direct.

“I don’t really know either.”
Hard to follow, and not knowing why, I had to endure my mathematics and English classes. My high school years were like a dark tunnel. They were times when I wandered in the darkness, not knowing where the exit was. Even though I was chastised at times for being at the arcades and for my poor grades, they were only momentary. I could not find my path by myself, and I did not share my parent’s expectations and hopes. Not given any other choice but to enter college, my school life was in itself a dark tunnel. ‘What is there past this tunnel? If I pass this tunnel, will I really have the world?’ In this way, I spent my high school life miserably.

They were the times when I did not love myself, and I confined myself in the dark tunnel and endured day after day.But even in the dark tunnel, I was searching for something. I felt as though my life’s treasure was hidden somewhere.I was wandering because I couldn’t find it easily. Back then, I didn’t know the meaning of, ‘To find life’s treasures, the only way is to plunge into the abyss,’ and that where we fall on the way is where our treasure is, and inside the cave that we fear so much is where we will discover what we desire. Then one day, I discovered my life’s treasure.


33 ∙ Starcraft! Captured by Its Magic


Many ancient heroes established their kingdoms at a very young age. King Dongmyung of Goguryeo established his kingdom at the age of twenty-one. King Onzo, though not certain, founded his country before the age of nineteen. Gwang Gaeto the Great, though he inherited the throne, became a king at the age of nineteen, and was already preparing to command the Manchurian fields.

But when I became nineteen, I remained unchanged, kicking the soccer ball in the school field like a five-year-old. When I look back on it now, I don’t think I ever thought that time was precious. If I could finally get out of school, I wished that time would pass quickly, so that I could become an adult. ‘When I become an adult, something will come up,’ I thought aimlessly. And so, without a thought and without a plan, my teen years were drawing to a close.

They were the years when I would play soccer in the school fields, and then head over to the arcades when the sun set. After spending time with my friends like this, I found myself already entering 11th grade. Because I had neglected my studies, my school grades were obviously at the bottom. Honestly, it was the same as being last place. One of my friends that I couldn’t catch up with in academics had suddenly received last place, and thankfully I had never been placed last. Even then, studying was something I did only because I didn’t want to get in trouble by my parents. Because I was a student, I only saw sitting in front of the desk as a duty. I was simply acting as though I was hastily preparing for the test the day before. Though I was a student that didn’t study at all, I didn’t particularly cause any trouble either. I never smoked or ran away from home, and never caused any big trouble at school or got in a fistfight with my friends.

November 1997- there was a big commotion at school and on TV concerning the several days of scholastic ability tests. The scholastic tests that seemed to be other people’s problems suddenly became my problem. I was to take the test next. I pulled out my report card. There were only two classes which could be considered as adequate grades. Thanks to my active efforts in physical education, my grades were always excellent. And since I enjoyed biology as a child, my grades in the class were acceptable as well. But I could not consider the two as sufficient grades overall. Even in my opinion, the grades were shameful. Though I was not last, I could not find a college that I could enter with these grades. The scholastic ability test was in one year; the time came for me to decide what I would do for myself, and not because of my parents.

After entering 12th grade, I was determined to study. Of course, I didn’t want to upset my parents, but this time it was a little different. That is not to say that I had a big dream; the idea that I had to enter college no matter what dominated me.

Thanks to my character of seeing things all the way through, I really studied hard during the first semester of 12th grade. I even cut myself off from arcades and soccer that I enjoyed so much. I devoted my entire time to studying, always on time for school, and even attending the evening independent study sessions. But the recurring problem was that I had started too late. In particular, I could not catch up with the mathematics and English courses simply by attending the classes at school. It was impossible to catch up with my friends that were well ahead of me. I needed someone to help me.

When summer break began after the first semester of 12th grade, I needed a plan to raise my school grades one last time. I looked around for a friend that could help me with my studies. My friends in high school were those that I played soccer with, so there wasn’t much difference from their grades and mine. And so, the friend that I could think of was Jinsuk.

Jinsuk was one of my old friends that I spent time playing marbles and slap-match with as children. After rampaging down the streets as children, Jinsuk and I entered different high schools and were not able to see each other much. But because I was in a hard and difficult situation, the first person I could think of was Jinsuk. When summer break began, I went to see him. I went with the hopes of learning some mathematics from my friend that studied so much better. As I headed towards his house, I had no idea that ‘the something that will change my fate’ was waiting for me.

When I opened the door, Jinsuk was alone, focused on his computer.
“Jinsuk, I’m here.”
“Oh, you came? Wait a sec.”

In truth, Jinsuk had no reason to be inconvenienced. I was the one in need, who had gone over for help. I didn’t say a word, and just waited. I had the thought that maybe Jinsuk might think that I made up an excuse of studying, just to go over to his house to play. So I took out my books and began studying, in hopes that he would see my determination and teach me seriously.

But I didn’t hear a word from Jinsuk for a long time. I became quite irritated. It didn’t seem right that an old friend, who came all the way to his friend’s house, had to wait and study alone, while he neglected his friend, doing his own work.

“Hey! Aren’t you going to even look at your old friend who came over?”
“....”
“Oh? Not even going to answer now?”
“Hold on, just a minute. These guys are persistent. Let me just finish this game.”
“Well, what is it that you’re doing?”
When I went over and watched behind him, I saw that it was a computer game. Our family didn’t have a computer. It was only obvious that my parents, exhausted from going to the arcades to catch me, would never buy me a computer, which they thought to be an arcade machine. I had played a computer game before, with a 286 computer, but in comparison to an arcade game, the game was too simple, with worse graphics and slow response. At the time, I had a fixed idea that computer games were boring, and I didn’t have any particular expectations for them. It was because I had no idea of the vast capabilities of a 386 computer.

Jinsuk began to tell me about the game. It was the moment when the math teacher suddenly became a game teacher. “It’s a game called Starcraft, and it’s awesome.” “This is a computer game? Whoa…the graphics are impressive.”

I was happy with just watching. In comparison to the computer games that I knew, the unique shapes of the units and the colorful graphics belonged completely to a different dimension. Furthermore, it was amazing to see how my friend used the keyboard to control the game. The games that I played at the arcades had at most three to four buttons, but this game used the keyboard to create new units, and the movements were incredibly fast. The vigorous battles of the game especially excited me.

From that day onward, I practically lived at Jinsuk’s house during the summer break. My parents thought that I went to Jinsuk’s house to study, but I woke up each morning as though I went to work, and ran over to his house. Though we grew up together as children, there was never a moment when I envied Jinsuk as much as I did then. It was because Jinsuk had a computer that I did not have, and played Starcraft well.

After my encounter with Starcraft, my head was filled completely with the game, whether I was sitting of standing. I looked up the terminologies of Starcraft such as ‘zealot’ with the English-Korean dictionary that I had never used, and I fell completely into its world, saying things like, ‘Need more minerals’ when lunchtime drew near. Even in my dreams, my fingers were moving busily, making units. But strategy-simulation games were completely different than the games that I played at the arcades. Learning to play the game by myself did not seem so easy.

Jinsuk, perhaps because he felt sympathy, watching my continuous losses, began to teach me various things in a friendly manner. In Starcraft, there were three races – Terran, Zerg, and Protoss. Protoss was Jinsuk’s main race, and I learned Starcraft with Protoss for the reason that a chobo (beginner) could easily learn with it. Like most chobos, I used cheat keys. After becoming rich with “show me the money,” I only made zealots and attacked with them. At first, I couldn’t even beat the computer, but towards the end of the summer break, I was at a level where I could easily beat the computer one-onone. Though the opponent was just a computer, I could enjoy the happiness of victory.

That summer, while my friends were grinding themselves with their text and reference books, I sat in front of the computer and said goodbye to the world that I had lived in – the school fields, the neighborhood arcades – and stepped into an entirely new world. A new space, with more friends, and the door that led me to a world that I had never experienced was the exit of the dark tunnel that I had searched for so long.

I was captured by its magic- the powerful and undeniable magic of destiny called Starcraft.

40 ∙ PC Bang? What’s That?


I enjoy watching science fiction movies. It’s because the science fiction movies vividly portray the future of mankind with its infinite powers of imagination.

‘Planet of the Apes’ was truly shocking. The contamination of the environment, the destruction of Earth, and the invasion of aliens that were only imaginations came to life on the big screen. ‘Blade Runner’ also shaped its overwhelming ideas the power of reason. But the movie that left a lasting impression on me was Mamoru Oshii’s ‘Ghost in the Shell.’ It displayed a new concept of the future, helping one to experience the materialization of a network world with great power while presenting a philosophical question concerning human nature, ‘Who am I?’

The science fiction genre in both film and animation has developed remarkably. In comparison, the rate at which games developed seemed extremely slow. Of course, when I was a child, I’ve enjoyed games with spaceships flying around, but they were just arcade games that did not require much thought, with simple composition and graphics. The movies continued to expand our imagination, but the monotonous games remained in the dimly-lit arcade stores.

Then suddenly, Starcraft appeared. Starcraft showed how games could express our imagination and help us experience it in an exciting way. The thing that made Starcraft more impacting than movies was the fact that I could enter the space of my imagination.

And so my 12th grade summer break began with the fateful encounter with Starcraft, and I spent my time thinking about it continuously. As the summer break drew to a close, Jinsuk made a new proposal.

“Yo-Hwan, you’re somewhat able to beat the computer now, right?” “Of course. I can beat it every time.”
“Really? Then let’s go to the PC bang.” “PC bang? What’s that?”

“You don’t even know what a PC bang is? Haven’t you even been there once? There are a lot of computers there, so we can play against each other.”

“Play against each other? You mean this game isn’t played only against the computer? You can play against people?”
“Of course. That’s why it’s a strategy simulation game. Let’s go.”
Dumbfounded, I followed Jinsuk to the PC bang. As he said before, there were many computers in the PC bang when we arrived. It was like a completely different world. While I was playing soccer at school and going to the arcades, some of my other friends had been going to the PC bangs. Before I could recover from my amazement, my friend was already preparing my first battle – not against a computer, but a person!

The hardest part was not being able to use the cheat keys. I couldn’t see my opponent’s base, and the map was completely shrouded in darkness. I first started to make zealots, like I always did. Then I sent them away to attack, but after they moved a little, they stopped completely. I wondered why, as I continued to click here and there, but they would not move any further. They just bunched up into a corner and remained still. While I was lost in confusion, something that looked like a plane flew into my base. As I thought to myself, ‘What’s this? There were units that could fly?’ the plane-like object began to attack my base. I found out afterwards that the unit was a scout. While the scout was attacking, I was commanding the zealots to attack the scout, which they could not do. I also found out that the map was an island map; until then, I didn’t know that there was an island map. To cut a long story short, Jinsuk was having a fun time toying with me.

In my helplessness, I lost ridiculously, but it was fun even when I lost, because I learned new things. I learned for the first time that Starcraft was a strategy game, and that victory or loss was decided according to the selection of your units. After that day, I played again with Jinsuk many times, but I was unable to beat him even once during the remaining days of summer break.

Completely absorbed in Starcraft that summer, I forgot that I was in 12th grade. Summer break was over before I knew it and another semester started. On the first day of the semester, instead of asking my friends whether they studied a lot, I asked them, “Do you know Starcraft?” Surprisingly, there were quite a number of friends that already knew about Starcraft. And so, after classes ended, we always ended up going to the PC bangs. My skills that lost to Jinsuk every time surprisingly were enough to beat my friends. Until then, the computer and Jinsuk were my only gaming partners. Though I could beat a computer easily, I had never beaten a person before, and on that day I was victorious. There’s no word that can perfectly express that victorious feeling; I was so happy. From that day onward, I went directly to the PC bang with my friends after my classes.

After I became accustomed to one versus one games, I played 2:2 and 3:3 teamplay games with my friends, with victory after victory. But then Starcraft shocked me again.

One day, one of my friends took us to a new PC bang that had opened. After an exciting time of gaming over there, we were about to go home, but one friend said that he would stay and continue gaming.

“Hey, are you trying to practice by yourself? You won’t be able to beat me, even if you play against the computer for a hundred days. There’s no one to play with, so let’s go.”

“I’m not trying to play with the computer. I’m going to go after playing on Battle.net for a bit.”
“Battle.net? What’s that?”
“If you go there, you can play against hundreds, thousands of people from all around the world.”
“What? Are you serious?”
“Yeah, if you go on Battle.net, there are people waiting there. If you pick the person that you want to play with, you can play with them as much as you want.”

Something that I couldn’t even imagine had suddenly appeared in front of me. How could a person like me without even a computer at home know anything about the internet? The fact that people all over the world could connect to one location and play was an astonishing experience, beyond watching a science fiction movie. At first I thought my friend was joking, but my friend connected to Battle.net, chatted to a person online, and began the game. The game that I played against my friend, sitting right next to me was being played against a person whose name, face, and identity was unknown.

I never realized how shocking the meaning of ‘the space of imagination’ really was. I thought that ‘the space of imagination’ was simply the monitor that I saw in front of me. In truth, I didn’t think much about its meaning. I assumed it meant something like enjoying a game. But the fact that I could meet people in this ‘space of imagination’ and play with them was even more shocking than anything else. It was the shock of the future that no longer existed in movies, but in real life.

Ever since that moment, I began to play all night in the PC bangs. It was fun that I could play with new people, but another interesting point was that the strategies that I used against my friends no longer worked on Battle.net. Though I used zealot rushes frequently, I became afraid when I saw the reaver for the first time. With each hit of the reaver’s scarabs, many of my zealots were killed instantly.

“Where on earth did that monster come from?”
Until then, I was only focused on winning, but I never thought of how to win. I beat the computer and my friends, but my formulated actions never worked against the cho-gosus (experts) on Battle.net. My opponents knew exactly what I was doing and how they could beat me. What about me? Depending only on the zealots, I was only thinking of, ‘I have to make them quickly and attack,’ but on Battle.net I needed a new strategy and the ability to look at my opponent in order to win. And so I was late to discover that this was the most awesome thing about Starcraft, and why it was called a strategy game.


46 ∙ The Game that Overthrew the Academy


A high school senior in preparation for the scholastic examinations. While my friends wrestled with their studies to the point of nose bleeding, I spent the evenings fighting in the games. My efforts to continue my academic and gaming life at the same time became intense battles over sleep. I had to attend school no matter what, but I couldn’t give up gaming. Unable to pick one or the other, I led an odd life of sleeping at school and spending the evenings at the PC bang. I spent the days waiting for the moment I would be free from the senior examinations.

The time when I was able to play most comfortably was after the senior math examinations. Though I’m playing games even now, it’s difficult to enjoy the game one hundred percent of the time after receiving the title of a professional gamer, because of the pressure to win. But the moment when I fully enjoyed the game was during the winter break of my senior year. Taking an unexpected path during the summer break after going to a friend’s house to study, my studies as a result were completely behind. Even my goals to enter college were long gone. I didn’t study at all during the last semester of my senior year and lived completely immersed in the game. I bombed the math examinations as I expected, but after the exams I was free from all of the stress. At last, I was able to get away from school and my parents, to enjoy the real freedom and satiate with gaming.

Of course, the freedom didn’t last long. It vanished on the day when the math examination scores were announced. On the day my parents received the math exam scores, they took me directly to the exam preparation academy. Because I had devoted my entire time to gaming while my friends studied vigorously, there was no way that my scores were up to standard. Even though I had expected this result, I was speechless. Though I didn’t think that one piece of paper could determine my future, the paper was indicating that I had spent my time in other things than my studies. If this was disappointing even to me, how much more was it for my parents? I had completely destroyed the expectations that my parents had on their only son. I was extremely remorseful. When my mom registered me in the academy in Noryang-Jin, I couldn’t tell her that I wouldn’t go to college. It’s because I didn’t have any specific plans for anything else, and I had no reason to not go to college. And so I began to prepare myself again.

The biggest problem was obviously gaming. It was impossible to continue gaming while putting my efforts into studying. I had to pick one or the other.
‘Let’s try hard for just one year. I can always play the game later.’

I continued to reason with myself and did not go to the PC bang once after I had registered at the exam preparation academy. I thought that if I couldn’t control myself, the only way was to cut myself off from it. I put the game that I wanted to play so much behind me and concentrated again in my studies. Then one day, I happened to run into some of my high school friends in front of the academy.

“Yo-Hwan! It’s been a long time.”
“Gyunin, what are you doing here? Your grades were pretty good!” “I also decided to retake the exams. You know, I liked the old days when I used to learn the game from you.”
“Come on, you have to stop playing now and start studying.” “Hey! It’s sad to see my game teacher telling me to stop gaming. How about a game together for such an occasion?”
“I quit gaming.”
“What! You’re saying you don’t game anymore? Does that even make sense?”
“Yes, it makes sense. I’m not going to play until after the day of the exam. I have to study.”
“Who says you have to do this? People have to relieve their stress while they study, so they can do better. Plus, I practiced a lot these days. I’m not the same as before.”
“So, you think you can beat me?”

“I’m not your student that you’ve seen before. I can really beat you now.”
“How in the world are you going to beat me? Stop speaking nonsense and hurry up and go study.”
“I’m serious, I can really win! Let’s just play one game. You’ll see when you play against me.”
“Really? Fine, but just one game. I’ll give you a thorough lesson.”
And so it began with just one game. That one game became ten games, and then a hundred games. As I began to play again I could not stop at all. I couldn’t leave until I was exhausted from gaming, and until my stiff fingers became completely relaxed. And the next day I headed for the PC bang instead of the academy.

Not having been near a computer for three months, I played to my heart’s content. My parents came to the PC bang to take me away, but it was different than the past when I got caught in the arcades. I was no longer a child that ran away because he was afraid of his parents. I enjoyed gaming, and I mustered up the courage to tell them this. My parents made up their minds that they could not dissuade me any further. They might have thought, ‘It’s no use, trying to forbid him, so we might as well let him play until he’s sick of it. Then he’ll stop.’ I was tormented with remorse whenever I thought of my parents, but there was nothing else I wanted to do but play this game. I didn’t want to study, and never thought about finding a job. If people had seen me at the time, they might have seen me as a game-addict.

Why was I so crazy about gaming? Whenever I played the game, I felt like I was alive. There was nothing that could take it away from me. It was everything to me and everything else had no meaning. If I did not become a progamer, it may have been the most regretful period in my life, but when I think about it now, they were the most precious times when I really put my all into gaming.

I wasn’t part of any guild until after I graduated from school. All of my gaming time was just playing alone or with some of my friends. Other than Jinsuk that taught me Starcraft in the beginning, there was no one else that taught me how to play. I improved as I practiced and arranged strategies by myself.

Then at last, my first rival appeared. There was a hyung (older “brother”) that was very good at Starcraft in a PC bang that I stayed most of the time. He was pretty much the “coolest” guy of the town. As I started to play the game again, I began to have a rival relationship with him. Our skills were similar and our win-losses between us were close as well. Until then, I had been playing on Battle.net against gamers who were considered to be good, but my gaming skills didn’t improve with just one or two games against them. The hyung and I played together, planned strategies and practiced them, continuously modified strategies according to the opponents’ strengths, and troubled ourselves with setting up various build orders. If there were no more opponents to defeat, then I would not have made such an effort. And it was then that I realized the meaning of, ‘A rival is like a person that develops me.’

The hyung that I became close to over several months first suggested making a guild. Until then, I had never thought that I needed a group to belong to, but if it was a guild that the hyung made, I wanted to try it. And so the ‘Forever Guild’ was born. It was not so much of having a goal, but it was for the friends that we’ve always hung out with, being able to have a collective mind under the name of the ‘Forever Guild.’ Our amounts of practice also increased more than before.

At the time, on the television, a gamer by the name of Lee Gisuk appeared on a commercial. There was also news about the ‘Progamer No.1’ Shin Juyung. Of course, I was envious, but it seemed like a dream. ‘How good do you have to be to be like that? If one plays that well, he wouldn’t need anything else.’ With this childish jealousy, I stirred myself up. But I also had discouraging thoughts, probably because of my timid nature: ‘How can a person who hasn’t even defeated a town become a professional gamer?’ I didn’t have any confidence. I was only satisfied with the feeling of improvement while I practiced with my guild members. But in a deep part of my heart I began to hear quiet but clear whispers. “I can also do it. I’m confident, at the very least in gaming. I will become the best gamer.” I didn’t tell this to anyone out loud, but I told myself this over and over again.

They say there are two choices in life: one is to accept the conditions given to you as it is, and another is to try to change that condition. Becoming satisfied with the present and settling down, or opening a new door by myself – my decision was always the same: challenging the new world! I believed that if I tried my best and continued to advance forward like this, someday a new door would open for me, and the day would come when I could do something new.


53 ∙ Learning to Win by Losing


During the summer of 1999, after ending my life at the academy and concentrating only in games, I was completely crazy about gaming, enough not to feel the hot and humid weather. Because I had been playing only with my friends the entire time in the PC bang, I needed something new and exciting.

Though there are far less these days, at the time there were quite a number of game events and game tournaments. Because this was before the society ever acknowledged “progamers” as an occupation, anyone, pros or amateurs, could participate in them. I entered in the event tournament for fun. Of course, I also wanted to know how my skills measured up to others. Before participating in the tournament, I had my own confidence. I passed the preliminaries as I had expected, and I momentarily became proud, thinking, ‘Of course, with my skills, I should at least go this far.’ But that was my limit. As soon as I entered the main portion of the tournament, I was eliminated during the first round. The difference between the players passing through the preliminaries and those that passed through the main portion was like heaven and earth. At the time, the “progamer” Shin Juyung also was disqualified in the first round. To me, it was so surprising that there were so many skilled people. The whole world was simply crawling with gosus (advanced players). Even though I was the ‘gaming specialist’ in my town, there was really nothing like this, where so many people gathered together. I saw clearly with my eyes that the world was not only wide and full of people that loved gaming, but that it had lots of gosus that really played the game well.The vague expectations of ‘I should do well to a certain level’ came crumbling down. My path only felt longer. ‘Just how good do I have to be?’ This tournament doesn’t even include all of the best gamers in the country, and I’ve already been eliminated. There are so many people who play the game well! I even thought, ‘I want to be the best, good enough to beat all of these people.’ Rather than being miserable that I’d lost, I was envious of the people that played better than me.

I couldn’t just return like this. How in the world do these people practice, that they can play so exceptionally? Strategies that I had never anticipated, quick build orders, I wondered about so many things. But because of my timid nature, I couldn’t ask them directly, and I simply watched from behind. And then I came across the difference: they did not stop moving the mouse for one second.

“How do they move so quickly? It doesn’t seem like they’re doing much, so what is the purpose?”
Until then, I was the type to do only what was needed. I never thought that the movements of the hand had to be quick, nor did I consider that it would affect the game. I thought that timing was only to attack the opponent’s weakness. I was not aware that finding the opponent’s weakness quickly and being one step ahead would expose more of the opponent’s weaknesses and increase the probability of winning. If I think about it now, it seems so obvious, but when I played with my friends in the PC bang, those things weren’t important. I didn’t want to lose, but there was no particular reason to win either. I thought that one could win or lose, because it was only a game. But ultimately, when I tasted defeat in the tournament, my views changed. Because there were so many people that played better than me, I had a quaint feeling of jealousy. I think it was since then, when I felt that the person to envy the most was the one who played the game well.

From that day onward, I concentrated my practice games in speed. I consciously tried to move faster. I had never made this effort before, but when I tried, my speed increased dramatically. Through the tournament, I was able to learn many things. I realized that winning one game right away was not important, but preparing to win for the most important moment – this was what I learned.

No one is born a champion. All champions probably were substitutes in a team at least once in their lives. They probably sat on the benches, eagerly waiting for their name to be called. But if they continued to sit there, staring down at their shoelaces, they would have remained substitutes. One has to watch the game carefully. The opportunity to attack comes into view when one discovers the unguarded defense. If one just stares, content with the present, the opportunity to become the hero and the champion will never appear. If one’s position is wretched and miserable, he should clench his teeth and remain firm. ‘Fine, I’ll see you in the next tournament. I’ll win next time. I’ll tear away the happiness of being 1st place that the player over there is enjoying.’ Through the experience I could gain this bold resolve. Of course, I probably was not the only gamer with those thoughts. I saw clearly how many people desired to sit in the seat of the champion. And I looked fiercely at the champion’s game – how I was different, and what it was that I lacked in. This was how I learned to exist while I spent the time gaming.


57 ∙ Choosing Terran


It was never easy for me to let go of the things that I’ve become attached to. Would I still be using Terran now, if Jinsuk had taught me how to use Terran instead of Protoss, while teaching me how to play Starcraft? For one whole year, I shared many experiences with the Protoss. In the beginning, there was no such thing as strategy for me; I only rushed with zealots. Then one day, I came to know of different units, such as scouts and reavers. And with the knowledge of these new units, I began to think about how I could use them and create my own strategies by combining various units.

During the days when I was a Protoss user, my favorite unit was the reaver. It was an extremely slow unit, but no other unit could match its power. I enjoyed using guerilla strategies, placing reavers in the shuttle and destroying the opponent’s base. Because the reaver would be a high target by the opponent, I couldn’t look away for a moment. If I especially did not damage the opponent’s base sufficiently and lost both the reaver and the shuttle, the situation would reverse immediately, so I needed to pay attention carefully. The positioning of the reaver was also crucial, so it was important to understand the map and the location of the opponent’s base. For this reason, the reavershuttle strategy was one of the strategies that I used with great risk. There are many Protoss users today that still use this strategy, but it requires great amounts of practice and experience to handle the reaver exceptionally. I had proficient handling of the reaver at the time, and with it I enjoyed the heightened tension while using the swift mobility of the shuttle for guerrilla attacks.

But the day came when I had to change my race. It was the day when the 1.04 patch was made.
Starcraft is a game where patches are continuing to be made, to correct any bugs and balances among the three races. With the 1.04 patch, the reaver became unintelligent. At least this was what I thought in the past. There was still the overwhelming power of the reaver’s scarab that directed towards the opponent’s units, but the success percentage of the scarab fell dramatically. And because the reaver is such a slow unit, it is necessary to complement its weakness with the shuttle as its partner, and so an additional amount of resource is needed. It is also a unit that requires a lot of minerals and gas, so it is extremely valuable, enough that the success or failure of this strategy will decide the tempo of the first half of the game. If this reaver, that was placed in a certain position after great difficulty, failed to discharge the scarabs properly or if the scarab exploded in a random place, it was not easy to win. I was very disappointed, as I used the reaver strategy frequently.

“This isn’t it. There’s nothing I can do with Protoss.”
And so, for the first time I set my eyes on other races. In a strategy simulation game, there are other types of units with their own levels, HP, and attack power that are all quantified. One can clearly see numerically who is stronger and has the stronger attack. If the marine was stronger than the zergling, and the zealot was stronger than the marine, then a gamer has to choose Protoss and simply make large numbers of zealots. But what if the zergling is stronger than the marine, the zealot stronger than the zergling, and the marine stronger than the zealot? In this way, games have to be like a game of paperrock-scissors to be fun. Gamers want to measure one’s strength fairly in a finely balanced game. The game that follows these basic principles appropriately is Starcraft.

Starcraft’s allure is that it is a strategy game with a near perfect balance of the three races that no other game can match. There are many that agree that this balance is the important factor that allows people to enjoy Starcraft. I have also heard rumors of how Starcraft was designed to make Terrans stronger than Zerg but weaker than Protoss, Protoss stronger than Terran but weaker than Zerg, and Zerg stronger than Protoss but weaker than Terran.

However, I have always regarded the three races as equal. I never thought of one race more advantageous or stronger than another. They are all able to survive with their own strategies and distinctiveness – the Terrans as the Terrans, the Zerg as the Zerg, and the Protoss as the Protoss. Because no match-up of races has an advantage over the other, I have always thought that it was possible to have a dynamic competition.
I first thought about the Zerg. In those days, the Zerg reigned as the most powerful race. It was the period of the Zerg. Maybe this was why the main race of so many gamers was Zerg. The fact that so many people prefer it could mean that it is that much more powerful, but it could also mean that it is easy to use. I wanted a race that I found difficult and tough, but fun to use. And that was Terran.

If it was the age of the Zerg, one could definitely think they were the most powerful, but I didn’t think so. When I used to be a Protoss user, the games I found most difficult to play were against the Terrans. With the zealot-reaver drops that I enjoyed using, I found the games against the Terrans difficult, which had many range units. Though their units seemed weak individually, the increasing power of the Terrans as the units continued accumulating left a great impression on me. But the biggest reason why I chose Terran was that it was the only human race of the three in Starcraft.

Someone once said, “Man is the lord of all creation.” When I considered humans as the race with infinite potential, I thought similarly of Terrans able to create dynamic strategies and tactics. Though the derivation of the Zerg from insect-like organisms and the mysterious alien Protoss have their own appeal, are not the humans the ultimate victors in movies? I imagined Terrans as the ultimate conquerors in Starcraft. I don’t know if it’s because I’m interested in science fiction movies, but one of the reasons why I picked Terran at the time was the fact that they were the human race.

Looking back, becoming familiar with Protoss strategies helped me greatly in using Terran. Because I mainly used the reaver-shuttle strategies when I used to be a Protoss user, using dropships as a Terran felt natural.

I also enjoyed using guerilla plays, similar to the style of play when I used Protoss. When I used Protoss, it took a while to make the reaver, but with Terran, because I mainly used marines and medics, I could use plays that were much more offensive.

In those days, there were many that used defensive plays with Terran. After establishing a defensive line, they would push the opponent with accumulating marines, medics, and tanks. In contrast, I used offensive plays and I could receive “GG” from my opponent much faster. In this way, I ended my life as a Protoss user, and began a new life with a new race.

After changing to Terran, my plays changed considerably. By applying the strategies that I liked as a Protoss user to Terran plays, I was able to create surprising strategies. Slowly, I became confident in my plays, and my win percentage on Battle.net increased significantly. But even then, I didn’t always play to win. I played because it was fun, enjoyable, and there was nothing that could replace my happiness while I played.

After I became a progamer, I heard some people talking about how I have a strong desire to win. Many insisted, “Isn’t it because your desire to win is so much greater than others that you don’t want to lose?” I always paused for a moment to think when they asked me that question. Did I have that kind of personality? I was certain that I didn’t like to lose when I played soccer or arcade games, but I didn’t have a goal. Perhaps that part of me didn’t surface at that time, but that which was hidden inside me could have been drawn out because of this following moment.

It was when I suppressed my surroundings and began to spend more time playing on Battle.net than with my friends. They were the times when I began to receive more GGs than when I typed GG. One day, while I was looking for some friends to play with on Battle.net, a golden badge caught my eye.

“What is that? Whoa! So does that mean that person is number one in the ladder?”
I was excited. Does this not mean that the person is the best in the Starcraft world? How good does one have to be, to become first place? I wanted to play just one game with this person. And so I requested a game. But I received a cold response, “I cannot play against a person with a low score like you.”

“What, does it break your fingers to play one game against me? What’s so hard about it, that you’ll refuse? So, you’re that good? Fine! I’ll just have to be first as well.”

I had not once desired for that position called first. But at least during that moment, I really wanted to be the best. From that day on, I strived restlessly to be first in the ladder.

Though I don’t remember his id now, if it wasn’t for that person I might not have strived to be the best. He may certainly be the benefactor that brought out my competitive nature, making me the progamer with the biggest desire to win, who doesn’t like to lose.

Unfortunately, I didn’t make it to first place on the ladder. There was a gamer at the time that was called an ‘abuser’ that would not give up the first place. I waited day after day for his removal from the spot, but the ‘abuser’ user was persistent. Finally, I became exhausted from waiting, and had to be satisfied with being second place.

But then I felt depressed. When I attended school, I had never thought about aiming for first place, but now I had a great desire – the ambition to definitely be first place in Starcraft. That has been a key factor in my becoming a progamer.


Chapter Two: Birth of a Progamer


I cannot forget the day when the title ‘Progamer’ was added to my name.
On the day I freed myself from their cynical words of ‘Internet Café bum,’ I came to a resolution – to become the greatest progamer.
I chose Terran, which was treated as worthless by others, took the dropship, which was considered inferior because of its slow speed, and made it my weapon, developing it and practicing with it over and over again.


66 ∙ Not an Internet Café Bum, but a Progamer


I didn't even go to the exam preparation academy and spent my first year as a twenty-year old at the PC bangs. Soon after, some people began to call me the 'internet café bum.' My parents had already changed their concerned hearts of 'What on earth is he planning to become?' to 'He'll stop after a while,' and had partially given up. The only one that controlled me was myself. In other words, I could no longer draw back. I could not make any excuses. For the first time, I felt as though I was carrying life's responsibilities by myself. I wagered all of my life's future on gaming and spent 24 hours a day playing games.

Though others treated me with pity as an 'internet café bum,' I decided not to concern myself with it. I had a dream that would waver no longer. Progamer! The dream to become the greatest in Korea, no, the greatest gamer in the world, was somewhat like a disciplinarian that trained me. The whispers of gossips and opinions around me faded away. I made efforts to ignore them and sharpened the sword of my heart.

Edison, who was ignored numerous times for having ridiculous thoughts, Denmark's Dalgas, who cultivated the barren land that was considered impossible to farm, the Wright brothers, that realized humanity’s dream to fly, and many others persistently pressed towards their goal with firm conviction and volition and stood their ground. There is probably no one who has pioneered a new life without going through numerous oppositions, failures, and trials.

One cannot simply cut another person's will and dreams in pieces and evaluate them. No, they must not do it. To realize one's dreams and beyond is a long and difficult process, a synthesis of times when one will break down on his knees, and other times when he springs to his feet. Standardized tests and first-rate universities alone do not give me the best possible score of my life. I am already at a disadvantage from the starting line in that race. If this is the case, then it would be prudent to boldly give up and look to occupy the most advantageous position. I began to consider these things and marched forward to realize my future and my dreams.

After reading, 'The misfortune of life isn't not being able to realize one's dreams and die; it's not having a dream at all,' I took courage. It is not a shameful thing to be unable reach the goal. It's becoming afraid and running away, even before considering the fact that the road is long and rough, that is truly cowardly. I lived day by day trying my best to realize my dreams. That is why I was not in the least embarrassed, though others pointed at me and disparaged me as the 'Internet Café bum' that did not enter a university. It was because I simply thought that I was taking a 'different road' than others. Then at last, the opportunity came when I was able to extend one part of my dreams, to test out my wings that had just come up.

It was the autumn of 1999. I was still practicing at the PC bang that day. On the Battle.net rankings, I was in second place, at a position where my skills were somewhat recognized. In brief, I was quite wellknown among a group of gamers that played Starcraft well. Because most of the people within the top ten on the ladder became progamers, the Battle.net rankings was a good means of letting others know your gaming abilities. Kim JungminTheMarinewas one of the players that I competed with on the ladder rankings. It was when progaming teams were just about to appear, and those that were highly ranked in the Battle.net rankings debuted as progamers one by one.

The opportunity had also come to me at last. I received an offer to become a professional gamer. The head of the Sinabro company came to see me. Just as the word 'sinabro' means 'little by little,' my life came to a moment where I would gradually fly into orbit.

"Slayers Boxer?"
"Yes, that’s me."
"There's quite a rumor that you play the game well. Have you ever considered becoming a progamer?"
It was like a dream. It was unbelievable that such a dream of becoming a progamer came to life, to the local 'Internet café bum' that none paid attention to.

'Oh, how I waited for this moment!' Is this what it means to be full of emotion? But now that I had ultimately received the proposal to become a progamer, I hesitated. It was not that I didn't want to, but the anxiety of 'can I do well?' surfaced from one corner of my heart. 'Nevertheless, when the opportunity arises, one must seize it and never let go. Have courage; this opportunity may not come again. What can be better than having what I like and doing what I like the most as a job?' With these thoughts one after the other, I momentarily became dizzy.

If it was a game, I was confident. I could work hard and I felt that I could do well enough not to lose to anyone. Though it's a very naïve statement and something that everyone can say, this was the only thing I could stand on. 'All right, let's try this. Let's do it!'

But there was another problem. It was my parents. They knew nothing about professional gaming. They considered PC bangs to be the same as the arcades, and only waited for me to come out of the dark room. The only reason why they didn't confine me to the house was probably because they didn’t expect me to go far if I was forced to do something. When I told them, "I'm going to become a professional gamer," they were stunned. No, it might be more fitting to say that they were puzzled. They did not know what a professional gamer did, and they could not even guess what future that would lead to. They even thought of the possibility that I was being tricked by a con man. I continued to persuade them afterwards. I earnestly told them how much I loved games, how happy I was, and how I wanted to work with things related to games in my life.

When my parents heard how I wanted to make gaming as my profession, they trusted me and gave me permission, though they were not completely at ease. Would it be selfish if I said that this was when I ascertained the love of my parents? I wasn't one to cause too much trouble, but I didn't even live up to half of my parents’ expectations; yet they earnestly tried to understand me, saying that they would faithfully watch over me. They knew that no one else could live my life for me and that life was something one had to endure, no matter how difficult and lonely. All they wanted was for their son to live with a little less pain and trouble, and with an earnest heart they nagged at me. For these parents, I was determined to be a proud and respectful son.

After receiving their consent, there was nothing else holding me back. At last, I was to place my name in the world of progamers. With all of my hopes, my pounding heart, and all of my anxiety, I will definitely accomplish something in this new path that I have taken.

When I'm troubled or frustrated, I watch the movie 'Forrest Gump.'
"Life is like a box of chocolates. Just as the taste is different for each chocolate that we pick, the results can be different based on what we choose in our lives."

When I would doubt about the chocolate that I've chosen, and when I would hesitate whether to eat it or let it go, I watched 'Forrest Gump' and prepared once again for that 'race of hope.' I didn't look back or to the side as I ran for that one goal. If I thought the chocolate I picked did not look tasty and changed it for another or threw it away, I would not be standing here today. It was the belief in the path that I picked that led me here. Being a progamer was my life's first chocolate that I chose.


72 ∙ Dropship


The life of a progamer was not smooth from the beginning. There were no down payments or annual salaries; they only provided an area where we could practice with other progamers. But it was very different from gaming at a local PC bang. A professional communicates in terms of his scores and results. I was now no longer the amateur that played games at the local PC bang for fun.

In 1999, the player “SsamJang” Lee Gisuk was the idol of the gamers. I also envied him. Though I was envious of his gaming skills, it was more of how he showed that a person can make money, become popular and have the recognition to appear on a commercial only by playing a game well. Until then, those that loved to play games were considered to be ‘people who have nothing better to do,’ ‘people that cannot come to their senses and are caught in a fantasy,’ and ‘immature children.’ But Lee Gisuk showed that one could become a popular star only by playing games. It was one of the many hopes I had. It was not some distant hope, but a realistic one. He showed that progamers could earn respect through their work. I also wanted to be a progamer that was acknowledged by others. To do that, the first thing was to practice, and the second thing was also to practice. I practiced relentlessly.

When I began my career as a progamer, there was no concept of a coach or a gaming organization. It was hard enough with only practicing, so it was not an easy task to go and look one by one for game tournaments, register for them, and plan out the schedule. After a while, the company took care of that work, and I was free to focus only on gaming. As I practiced with progamers of similar abilities, my skills quickly improved.

It may have been difficult to endure if I simply practiced and showed no results. No matter how much one loves his job, if he does not have the confidence in his own work, it is difficult to continue for a long time. Everyday, I could feel myself grow. Little by little, I made my own way and searched for my style and strategies. The feeling of actually putting this into practice and bringing good results was an experience unlike anything else.

Before the 1.08 Starcraft Patch, there were significantly more Protoss and Zerg users. I did not listen to other people’s talks of what was easy or hard. The reason why I chose Terran was not because I purposely wanted to take a difficult path. It was also not because I thought it was easy. It was because I thought the strategies could change dynamically and I was certain that if the strategies were used properly, the Terrans could manifest a strength much more powerful than the Protoss or Zerg. During this time when people would say, ‘Terrans can’t do it!’ I practiced even harder with the thought of, ‘Why can’t they?’ On Battle.net, I frequently encountered many Zergs, but I only thought, ‘There are many that use Zerg,’ and never thought of changing to Zerg myself.

In those days, there were no established build orders for Terrans such as going mechanic or two-factory rushes, as we do now. Perhaps I was able to create strategies more freely because there were no standard plays. Among the Terran units, the dropship in particular was not used by many Terran users. The reason was because of its slow speed, but I used the dropship often. Many people expressed that my plays were innovative and unique, but it was hard for me to understand why others did not use the dropship. In the beginning, I thought all Terran users used the dropship. It may have been that I saw someone using a similar play and adapted it to my own style. Before becoming a progamer, I almost never watched other people’s games. Of course, I used the play of blocking the entrance that Lee Gisuk first introduced, but other than that, I never saw other people’s games and thought, ‘I could win like that,’ and used the same method. At the time, the majority of Terrans would first construct a safe defensive line, secure stable resources, and place the siege tanks leading the attack. There were almost no Terran users that used early offensive plays or guerilla plays with the dropship. Many times, my opponents would be troubled by my strategies, and my win percentage continued to increase steadily.

Then came my first opportunity for victory. It was the December 1999 SBS Multi-Game Championship. After the entrance application and passing through the online preliminaries, I gradually gained more confidence. Because the SBS Multi-Game Championship determined the top sixteen finalists through the online preliminaries, passing through the preliminaries was not guaranteed. However, I boldly entered as one of the sixteen and fought my way up to the finals with consecutive wins.

My opponent in the finals was Kim Iljae SpecialDra. He was a Protoss and Zerg user, and I played all my games with Terran. The biggest problem was the second game. In the first game Kim Iljae used Zerg, and in the second game, he used Protoss. I had already won the first game, so I had a strong desire to end the match with the second. The thought of victory appearing before me caught me off guard, and I lost the second game. The moment I typed GG, I looked at my opponent. Kim Iljae was also looking at me. I slowly nodded my head. I gave a confident expression, as though to say, ‘Now I can see through all of your plays.’

It makes me laugh when I think about how I could act in such a way during that brief moment, but it seems that in the end, I was victorious in the psychological warfare. Of course, it didn’t matter to me whether the opponent was a Zerg or a Protoss in a 1:1 situation, but the fact that I gave my opponent some difficulty in choosing the race gave me the advantage. Kim Iljae looked worried for a moment and did not choose Protoss that won him the second game, but Zerg, which he lost with in the first game. I pinned against my opponent like I did in the first game and walked off with the victory cup. It was the moment when I finally stood as a champion that I had yearned for so long.

My first championship prize money was 3 million won. When one thinks about it now, it may not be a large amount, but to me it was more valuable than 30 million or 300 million won. It was a year and six months since I started playing Starcraft and ten months since I graduated from high school. The memories of seeing Starcraft for the first time, when I placed a wall between me and my studies, when I ran away to play when my father came to get me at the PC bang, and when I disappointed my mother as she took me to the exam academy passed me by like a panorama. It was a path that I chose as I gave up college, but this was a priceless victory that compensated the times when I felt hopeless and could not see in front of me. It was also an exhilarating moment that gave me the confidence that I too could become the best.
There is a saying, ‘Victory belongs to one the most persevering.’ I never seriously considered whether I had the talent or not. The only thing I could trust was practice. The persistence of spending 24 hours a day practicing and thinking about the game, even in my dreams, was what brought me the victory.


78 ∙ Hope of Terran


My game plays continued to develop after my first victory. However, something happened that would help me understand the saying that the true grandeur of victory comes after tasting the bitter pain of defeat.

The Ongamenet Starleague, which received the most attention from all tournaments in the gaming world, began its preliminaries. Though I had always been able to pass the preliminaries of most tournaments with ease, I experienced the bitterness of being eliminated from the preliminaries of the Freechal Ongamenet Starleague. While I had been refining my speed and strategies, I had forgotten one thing. I had overlooked the first fundamental principle that a game was ‘a fight with oneself.’

On July 2000 during the first preliminaries of the Freechal Ongamenet Starleague, I faced Lee JaehangSiR@SoNi~, who was in the same team as me. For four days I did not sleep and only practiced for this event. It was an event worth striving for, and I was full of confidence with the thought that it was about time for me to accomplish something. It was a bit problematic that I would meet a fellow teammate in the first round of the preliminaries, but it was a match that would have to be played one way or another if I was to fight my way to the top. For the first match on the map Space Odyssey, I got Protoss after selecting random and won the game. Before I switched my main race to Terran, I used to play with Protoss, so at times I would alternate between Protoss and Terran. For the second match, I selected Terran and lost; now the third game remained.

My mind became cloudy after the first two games. My whole body was telling me that it had reached the limits of its physical strength. Because I had not slept the night before, my mind was gradually becoming faint. I decided to select random for the third game. The countdown for starting the game began. 5, 4, 3… Lee Jaehang first picked Zerg. Now it was my turn to pick the race, but somehow I ended up picking Zerg, as he did. The game began, and on my screen appeared a hatchery and drones. In a moment of bewilderment I asked Lee Jaehang if we could restart the game. I said something that didn’t make sense at all. When a game has started, there is no reason to stop the game unless GG is typed. Of course, it was also possible for me to get Zerg if I selected random; everything was my responsibility and it was something that I decided, so what was I to achieve by griping to my opponent? Until that moment, I had never played against a Zerg with a Zerg, whether it was randomly selected or not. At the time, my skills with Zerg were only that of an average amateur. Hastily, I was unable to do much of anything and eventually typed GG. What if I had gotten Zerg even if I selected random? If I had not become so confused after selecting Zerg and boldly accepted the situation, would I have given up so easily and typed GG? Through this painful mistake I realized that maintaining one’s condition was just as important as practice.

No matter how hard one practices and tries, if he ultimately cannot execute his plays properly, the efforts come to nothing. Up to that point, I had been thinking that I could beat my opponents simply by practicing a lot. But with this amateur mindset I cannot completely subdue my opponent. It’s expected for one to practice hard before a match, and all players try their best to practice. In that case, what determines the winner on the day of the match? The winner is the one that is able to bring out his greatest potential. Of course, luck also plays a role. But if one was to enter the event in an exhausted state like I was after practicing all night, it is only logical that he cannot properly employ his plays. Ultimately, I had lost to nobody but myself.

I don’t know whether people remember more of the games where I won, but until I rose to the top, I tasted the bitterness of defeat in many games. However I had not once thought of defeat as failure. Even though I lost at that moment, I thought of myself as the final victor and I could not remain in that state. After scrutinizing why I lost, I started practicing again to win the next match. And so my preparations for the next event began.

As I defeated progamers one by one that were considered to be good at the time, I continued to develop as well. I raised my standings in the ranks of another tournament that I entered, and I had a good feeling that the prime of my gaming career was approaching. In May 2001, I welcomed the spring that was blindingly more beautiful than any other day.

Game broadcasting stations were established and many people that liked games began to gather in front of their televisions. If one truly wants to be accepted as being the best, he has to appropriately prove himself in front of many people. Because I was eliminated before from the Freechal Ongamenet Starleague preliminaries, I was at a state where I definitely wanted to prove myself in the HanbitSoft Ongamenet Starleague. At the time, Terrans were rated as the weakest of the three races. To put it briefly, it was a period when Terrans were viewed as nothing, so no one saw me as a winning candidate. It was not surprising, as I did not play against a single Terran from the 16th rounds to the finals. Today, many say that one must defeat a Terran to win the finals, but at the time it was only expected for a Terran to lose, and they were only thought of as an extra that the Zerg or Protoss passed through as they won the finals. But from the moment I entered the preliminaries, I had my eye on the championship. No one asked me, “What is your goal?” If someone did ask me that question and I were to reply, “To win the championship,” the person would not have believed me. Others thought of me merely as a rookie with an ambitious spirit, but I was confident. No matter who the opponent was, I had the confidence to beat him.

The hardest part was when I met Park Yongwook Kingdomin the semifinals. I had not lost once since the preliminaries and had entered the semifinals with six consecutive wins. But in the first match of the semifinals, I lost to Park Yongwook. Anyone who receives one loss after carrying consecutive wins is bound to feel an enormous mental pressure. I made an effort to find my own pace. After winning the second match, I faced the last hurdle, the third game that took place at Neo Jungle Story.

Because of the long rush distance and the topographic conditions with slopes, I determined that the Protoss would not use the strategy of an early push with dragoons, but a fast tech build. So I prepared a plan to quickly enter the opponent’s base early with a large number of vultures. If the Protoss was using a fast tech build, it was certain that there would only be a small number of dragoons, and this scenario was to neutralize the dragoons with the vultures and enter the main base. This scenario turned out to be right on target. In those days, Terran users did not use the vultures much. The vultures were swift units, but they were not easy to control, as they were not strong and their striking power was not very high. How well one attacked from a favorable position was the same as how well one freely controlled the vulture. I was able to enter the finals after winning the last match of the semifinals in this way.

On May 5, 2001, Children’s Day, the opponent of the finals was Jang JinnamKiss)JinNam, who was enjoying his greatest peak at the time. He was a Zerg user and had a significantly high name-value among the fans. Because I was close to being anonymous as well as being a Terran that entered the Ongamenet Starleague for the first time, there were not many that predicted I would beat Jang Jinnam who was recognized as a cho-gosu of the Zerg. However I did not give up a single game and embraced the championship cup with three straight wins. HanbitSoft Ongamenet Starleague – 11 wins and 1 loss.

From that moment on, people started to call me the ‘Hope of Terran.’

88 ∙ Using the Team Melee Method


I hated the examination periods the most while I attended school. So it’s quite ironic that the occupation I chose was a game where I had to frequently take tests. A game is a delicate situation where one cannot relax for a single moment in every match, and where only the winner is remembered. Victory and defeat are determined by momentary decision-making and control. To be victorious in such a battle where I am defeated if I do not defeat my opponent, I cannot be negligent in a single game. And every moment felt like a battle.

Many preparations have to be made to win the war. On the battlefield, a soldier must inspect his helmet and rifle and determine the location and movement of the enemy. It is the same for a gamer; he must first analyze the battlefield – the map. Because the maps are different for every match, it is important how accurately and closely the new maps are understood. When the maps for the matches are decided, the basic routes that the computer takes are followed, and the terrain and natural features of the map are analyzed. Secondly, the opponent’s plays are analyzed. The time and direction of the opening scouting are calculated, and a mental note is made of whether he has an offensive style or a style that prefers a secure play, which tech-tree he tends to take, when he expands, and even the point in time when he uses guerilla attacks. When the opponent’s style is grasped like this, a strategy then is devised of a certain style to attack the opponent’s weakness.

So far this is purely in my mind’s eye. The strategy that has been constructed is then adjusted and completed through actual practice. The practice partner is designated with a certain playing style, and the practice is started. Naturally, winning is not easy, as the game is played after the strategy is told completely. During the first round, I will undergo the attack; the second time, I will defend the attack in one way or another; and the third time, if I prevent the attack, it will be a success. But in situations when this does not work, the next best way is brainstormed and practice is continued until the strategy is brought to completion.

Until the spring of 2001, our team consisted of but five people: Park Hyomin ComBi, Lee JaehangSiR@SoNi~, two female progamers, and myself. It would not be an exaggeration if I said that my only practice partners were Park Hyomin and Lee Jaehang. Both were Zerg users, so whenever I had a match against a Protoss or a Terran, the situation was that I had to just about beg for practice from other players. To make matters worse, because they were not from the same team, there was a significant risk of the strategy being disclosed. And so I used a new method of practice – the team melee method.

Though one may be a progamer, it is impossible to to do well in all three races. Of course, there are random players, but even random players are bound to have a race that they are particularly good at. Consequently, a Zerg user cannot use Terran or Protoss as well as his own race. The Terran and Protoss users that I faced were each considered experts at least in their own races, and with the only Zerg teammates that I had, I could only request help from the two players.

It came to mind that instead of a single Zerg user controlling Terran, it would be more efficient to practice with two people controlling it. In the case of practicing with the team melee method, because two players are controlling one race, there is almost no lapse in resources and production, as well as control of units. When practicing with this method, one can almost never win during practice, no matter how good and original the strategy may be. It is very hectic, as one will produce units while the other uses guerilla attacks, and still the other will expand. While barely even scouting properly, when one sees the enemy base operating perfectly without a single break, the critical feeling is quite intense.

Losing like this again and again during practice, it is possible to accumulate diverse styles of attack. Naturally, there were those that worried that one could lose confidence from losing, but I rather liked it more. Practice matches are just practice matches. Though I lost during practice, I desired victory from the actual battle.

After practicing with the team melee method, I gained confidence when I entered a real match. I felt relieved with just the fact that I could scout comfortably. In addition, if I were to see an idle probe in the opponent’s base, I grew even more confident. Even though the opponent was trying hard, I could continue finding the opponent’s openings. “Hm, is he only that good? That not much. ”No matter how well the opponent managed, I would only see the openings because I remembered the perfection from the team melee practices. Though I lost during practice, my confidence continued to grow even greater when the actual matches began. The reason why I was able to beat Park Yongwook Kingdom during the semifinals of the HanbitSoft Ongamenet Starleague was also because I had benefited greatly from the team melee method. By losing like this, I was learning how to win.

But even though I practiced with the team melee method, there were times when I could not unfold the game in the direction that I desired. If the opponent were to bring a completely unpredictable strategy or if I were not able to properly use my prepared strategy because of my mistakes, I would have to adapt to the situation in the middle of the game – that is the know-how of a game. How much experience one has and adapts appropriately to deal with the situation is also another variable towards victory. There were moments when I would use various strategies that were on my mind, even though I had not used them during practice.

This was when I entered the third Game-Q Starleague. I faced Bong Joongu SKELTON on the map New Remote Outpost. For a while now, there was a strategy that I thought I should use sometime. It was a strategy that I had never used during practice and only remained in my mind. Bong Joongu used Protoss, and was attacking with carriers. Carriers are always accompanied by observers, but I saw that if I could remove the observers, I could destroy the carriers quite easily. Though there was a small amount of gas on the map, the minerals were plenty, so I increased the number of barracks and steadily gathered marines. After sending the marines ahead as a meat shield, with a single scan I used optical flare to blind the four observers that were in the carriers’ perimeter, and eliminated the last observer with cloaked wraiths. Without the observers, the fleet of carriers were instantly destroyed by the cloaked wraiths.

Though it was a strategy that I had not once used, my thoughts were right on the mark. I remember that there had never been anyone that used optical flare on observers during a formal match until that moment. It was in fact a strategy only visualized and never used, even during practice, because of the dangers of disclosing the strategy. Though the risks were great, I was confident. It was a memorable match that even I compliment myself for such a ‘killer’ tactic.

In the game called Starcraft, each race and unit has various abilities. Of these abilities, it is the gamer’s part to decide which ones he will use and how he will use them. Ultimately, the victory or defeat of the game depends on which player uses a more perfect strategy and tactics. The beauty of strategy games are in such intense mind games.


93 ∙ From ‘Hope of Terran’ to ‘Emperor’


After winning the championship at the HanbitSoft Ongamenet Starleague, there were many game fans that recognized me. Many began to say that I was a gamer that appeared like a comet. But in truth, all gamers appear like comets. Those that some consider to be the ‘first generation gamers’ such as Lee Gisuk SsamJang, Kang DogyungH.O.T-Forever, and Kim Dongjoon[=N2=]Rookiealso were complimented as being amazing when they first emerged, receiving comments like, “where did these gamers come from, these players that appeared like comets.” Though all things could be like this, there is a point in time while gaming diligently when suddenly one’s spirit is on the rise. When one rides on that spirit, there is a period of time where whatever you do there is good luck, and whatever you do there can only be success. Naturally this is the result of diligent practice. To a gamer that does not practice diligently, an opportunity to ride on that spirit is not given. In the end, even luck comes from ability.

The point in time when one rides the rising current as a gamer – only when that point is used will he grasp the key to success as a progamer. From the standpoint of the fans, any player like this will seem like he appeared like a comet. This is because the player will almost never play losing games, from the moment he rides on the rising current. Using the same strategy will work on some opponents, and on some not at all. But the player that has begun to rise will receive the strength to relentlessly continue fighting his way to the top. For me, my opportunity was the victory at the HanbitSoft Ongamenet Starleague that allowed me to ride that spirit. From that moment on, I was able to win with good luck at any tournament, and had the confidence that I could win, no matter what opponents I faced.

In the case of progamers, the ups and downs of one’s scores are quite severe. The fact that there are almost no players that win the same tournament in a row plainly shows how intense the world of competition is. Though I had received the nickname ‘Hope of Terran’ through the HanbitSoft Ongamenet Starleague, protecting that hope to the end was not an easy task. There obviously was the burden of being the winner of the previous tournament, as well as the high expectations of the fans. In addition, as I was called to here and there, the pressures from my schedule were enormous. With all of that completely in my undertaking, the Coca-Cola Ongamenet Starleague had begun.

The rough times persisted from the round of 16 in the Coca-Cola Ongamenet Starleague that commenced in the summer of 2001. Through much difficulty at the end of a rematch, I was successfully able to enter the round of 8. After safely passing through the round of 8 and the semifinals, it was the finals at last, and my opponent was the ‘Storm Zerg’ Hong Jinho[NC]...YellOw. I think it was since then, that the game fans began to call us rivals.

Hong Jinho is a player that I do not want to encounter, and one of the difficult players to face. Though in private he is a colleague and a dongseng (younger “brother”) that I am extremely fond of, the world of competition is heartless. Hong Jinho – offensive style, guerillacentered plays, maintaining a starved-state with almost no waste of resources from the beginning of the match to the end. The races were different, but in terms of game styles there were many similarities. Because of this, it was inevitable that we would play matches where we could not relax for one moment.

It was not Hong Jinho and I that made ourselves into rivals, but our fans. It may be that they found our games to be the most exciting, and possibly our matches the most anticipated. Nevertheless, in the matches that ultimately would have to be played between Hong Jinho and I, the precariousness would always feel like standing on thin ice, in the center of a lake during the coldest winter, where the steam from just one breath could melt the ice away, plunging me into the lake.

September 8th, 2001 – the Jang Choong Gymnasium was filled with game fans. And on top of the stage were only two people – Hong Jinho and I. Of the two people, only one will be remembered as the victor. And that had to be me.

I had a presentiment that victory would not be easy, starting with the first match. Capturing each other’s expansions, finding resources and relocating, then getting attacked again. The match was close to 50 minutes. After transferring my main base three times, I finally received my first win. At any rate, I was one step ahead. But, after giving away the second and third games in a row, I was pushed to the edge of a precipice. Even now, many fans remember the first match played between Hong Jinho and I to be a distinguished match. But actually the point of victory that allowed me to win the Coca-Cola Ongamenet Starleague was during the fourth match.

The fourth match was at Ragnarok. Hong Jinho had come out with a special strategy. It was a strategy of using 9-drone zerglings (zerglings from a spawning pool made with the ninth drone) and capturing the opponent’s cliff with a layer of sunkens. But, as luck would have it, I had already experienced the special strategy that Hong Jinho had prepared. Even that was on the day of the match. Park Hyomin

ComBi , who was on the same team as me, helped practice a few games just before I left for the Jang Choong Gymnasium. It is normal for one to play a few games and briefly loosen the hands at the living quarters on the day of the match, before going out. And when we practiced on Ragnarok, Park Hyomin had used a similar strategy.

Because the strategy was one that I had comfortably defeated even during practice, I was delighted the moment Hong Jinho used this strategy. The key point of that strategy was not to advance until the tanks came out. It was a strategy where one could simply lose all of his units by a counter-rush, if one were to hastily break through the sunkens. From the standpoint of a Terran, in situations where one’s front is blocked like this, one attempts to somehow find a timing and break through. But in this case one needs a time of patience, enduring and enduring again until the tank comes out.

If this was a strategy that I had not experienced during practice, I may not have been able to win. During practice, one may comfortably play with the mind that it is okay to lose, but in reality when entering the actual battle, one becomes restless because of his attachment to victory. It is because of the desire to somehow quickly change the match to a situation where he has the advantage. But since it was a strategy that I had defeated during the practice matches, in the actual battle I was also able to play comfortably and receive GG from Hong Jinho.

When I easily blocked the strategy quite unexpectedly, Hong Jinho seemed rather perplexed. His expression showed, ‘How did he block this?’ Whether he was in disbelief at his loss from the fourth match, he seemed to look over his mistakes from the fourth set instead of preparing for the fifth. During that time, however, I was looking over the first match. Since the fifth and first sets were played on the same map, I used most of the break time to find Hong Jinho’s weakness. And so I was able to lead the fifth set to a victory.

The game fans that filled the Jang Choong Gymnasium, and their cheers! How could I forget them. Their overwhelming emotions were all mine. At that moment, I saw the figure of my mother that had earnestly prayed for me. I had only worried my parents, saying that I would not study or attend college, but now I felt that I could be a proud son. The day when the whole world felt like it was mine, that day onward people began to call me the ‘Emperor of Terran.’


104 ∙ A Frog in a Pond to a World Champion


The year 2001 was a year of victory. I won the HanbitSoft Ongamenet Starleague and the Coca-Cola Ongamenet Starleague in a row. This continuous joy of victory returned to me like a boomerang, as a confidence that I could win in any game.

But after a while it seemed to me that to be called ‘the Emperor’ in the field where I ran about was too narrow. Like the king from a novel that I like, The Little Prince – the little prince leaves his planet and arrives on the first planet, where he meets a king, a king that does not have any servants, yet claims he controls the entire galaxy. The little prince then turns away from this person that declares himself as king on the tiny planet, and heads for another planet.
My self-consciousness of being satisfied with the title of ‘Emperor’ as Korea’s top progamer constantly tormented me, that I would not be too different from the king that the little prince disregarded. So I resolved to compete against the gamers of all countries around the world and be the one that the world admires, the true ‘Emperor of Terran’ that the world will acknowledge. I wanted to be like Genghis Khan, that led his army all the way to Europe’s Danube River after raising the 13th century Mongolian Empire, and like ‘the Conqueror’ Alexander the Great, that captured the world during 4th century B.C. – but not through blood, but through a game.

Where there’s a will, there’s a way – the opportunity to receive the recognition from the world as a progamer came quite easily. On October of 2001, the WCG – World Cyber Games, that was called the Olympics of Games, opened in Seoul. Gamers from 37 countries, such as the United States, Europe, Japan, China, and Korea gathered in one place. The tournament prize money was also of the highest level in the country. But the amount of the prize money was a secondary issue. More important was the fact that it was a tournament that all of the world’s gamers participated in.

As a member of the national team representing Korea, I wanted to be recognized as the world’s best, at least in games. In addition, I had to a score to settle from the grief I went through during my chobo (beginner) days. In Starcraft, it is possible to freely play in real time with gamers in foreign countries through Battle.net. I had not forgotten that during my chobo days, I was rejected when I requested a game from the foreign player that was ranked first on the ladder. There was no way I could forget it – I had not yet been able to take revenge. But at last I had the opportunity to take revenge on the player. I had the confidence that I would not lose to anyone, and was prepared to be the world’s best.

Though I had anticipated that the road to becoming a world champion was long and rugged, it was not easy from the first hurdle. The national representative preliminaries was as hard as winning a national tournament. The competition between progamers to capture the golden opportunity of being able to wear the national flag of Korea was more intense than any other tournaments.

There were four that were given the eligibility to be the national representatives in the category of Starcraft. The four Korean players that had passed the intense preliminaries were decided. The Korean national representatives for the category of Starcraft in the 2001 WCG were Park Taemin GoRush, Cho Junghyun V-Gundam, Choi Soobum [Na'G]DoGGi^^, and myself. I poured all my strength into the 2001 WCG. Because of this, I was able to enter the final qualifications without losing once.

At last the final qualifications began. Gamers from the United States, Russia, Japan, China, England, and all around the world dived into the fiery competition. There were even predictions that our country, the only to have the profession of a progamer, would naturally take the gold, silver, and bronze. But those were only the wishes of the fans.

One after the other, the foreign players that played games as a hobby were eliminating the Korean progamers who had gaming as their profession. Park Taemin and I were the only two that made it to the round of 16. As the tournament progressed, I realized that the skills of the foreign players were not that low. Among them was a rumor that the skills of France’s representative, Bertrand GrospellierElky, was impressive. In the semifinals of the winners’ group, I had hoped that Park Taemin would defeat Bertrand, but the one who typed GG was Park Taemin. In the end, I was the only one remaining of the Korean representatives.

Winning the 2001 WCG now became a matter of pride of the Korean progamers. I was troubled that if a player with gaming as his profession lost disappointedly to a foreign player that played games for fun, it would show the whole world that the profession called progamer was in the end ‘a frog in a pond’. I wanted to win with all that I had built up to that moment. For our country’s progamers to be recognized worldwide, the victory cup was a must.

The group leagues that had started out with full leagues went through a double-elimination method starting with the round of 16. The double-elimination method divided the winners’ group and losers’ group. In the case of the winners’ group, the number of games played was much less, and also could receive an advantage in the finals. From the final qualifications alone, I had ten wins from the ten games played, and entered the finals.

My opponent in the finals was Bertrand. From the beginning of the tournament, he was a player that stood out as the greatest threat. Of course, he was also quite famous on Battle.net, so I knew that he was a good player. But as I actually faced him in the finals, the burdensome feeling was immense. Though Bertrand is now living as a progamer in Korea, he was at the time merely a player that enjoyed gaming and tried hard. As his style was quite different from the Korean players, the method of countermeasure in itself was not easy.

The finals was played on the map Lost Temple. Bertrand was a player that used both Terran and Protoss well. He selected Terran in the finals. As expected, Bertrand’s characteristic multiple expansions began. Unlike other players, he was one that had almost no openings. Words cannot express the fear that one feels when the opponent is strong. Bertrand gave me that feeling, the fear that comes from the existence of a powerful opponent. However, even perfect strategies are bound to have a moment of weakness. In Bertrand’s case, the timing was extremely small. Because there were too many expansions, it was not easy to decide where to attack and at what timing.

I continued the attacks with my style and strained to find the timing, the timing when Bertrand was the weakest. It was a situation where if I were to lose that timing that may only come by once, my dreams of becoming a world champion would come to nothing. The only thing on my mind until the last second was the belief ‘if I am stronger than him, I will find the timing in the end.’

In the end, I received Bertrand’s GG. I had won the fight with myself again. How could I forget the moment when I became the world champion after beating the best players at home and abroad. Though I had participated in numerous tournaments and won many times, I had never been as happy as I was that moment. Because a progamer is a profession, one must go out in tournaments, win prizes, and continuously maintain a good record for the fans. But the 2001 WCG helped me feel the joy of being the best, not only as a progamer, but simply as an ordinary gamer of Korea that enjoys games.

I wanted to show to the adult generation that thought enjoying games was a waste of time, the Korean gamer that had become the world’s best through a game. I wanted to shout to the world that the Korean gamer was the world’s best. I wanted to ask them why they would consider one with games as his hobby to be an immature child, when they would approve of those that watched movies and read books as a hobby.

It has been a long time since games have boldly settled as a business just like any other. As long as gamers around the world have an passion, games will never disappear, and will advance endlessly in the time to come. If there are people that develop games, there is also a need for people who know how to enjoy those games in an awesome way. I wanted to tell everyone that progamers are people that express games in the most awesome way, and that the progamers of Korea are of the world’s highest level.

And that was the role I wanted to take. At the 2001 WCG I was able to realize that earnest wish. Gamers around the world, and not only in Korea, began to call me the ‘Emperor of Terran.’


Chapter Three: The Hidden Passion Explodes


During middle and high school, the worthless me narrowly escaped being last in class, so even I wonder how I am able to practice gaming everyday and became so attached to victory.

Like someone once said, ‘Passion is talent; its accumulation becomes ability,’ my passion that burns for games may perhaps be the answer. The passion that I myself do not understand – dragged by its fearsome strength I challenge myself again today.

118 ∙ A Fool Crazy for Victory


In the spring of 2001, there were many changes to our team. As the scale of game tournaments grew bigger, our team also recruited several players. In addition to Lee Jaehang SiR@SoNi ~ and Park Hyomin ComBi that were members since the early days, Hong Jinho

Yellow, Lee Yoonyeol Nada, Kim Jongsung [z-zone]SalMoSa, and Sung Hakseung MuMyung joined our team. I had chatted with Jinho a few times on Battle.net before, and with Yoonyeol, I only knew of his ID.

At first it was great. The players of our team swept every tournament, and without doubt the members of the team IS were enjoying their prime. But the problem lay in the fact that no matter what tournament we entered, it was inevitable that the players of the team would face each other. It is a good thing that the players of the same team have outstanding skills, but during crucial moments, facing a member of the team was more than just uncomfortable. Some people say, “If there are many players with great skills on the same team, don’t they benefit from helping each other practice?” But among players that have risen to a certain level, it is more important to develop oneself rather than increase each other’s skills. Because formulating strategies and practicing together with teammates that one may face in the future would lead to disclosing each other’s style, it could only be unpleasant. Furthermore, in terms of the desire for victory, they were players that were second to none, so losing even a simple practice game would create a cold atmosphere. When this happens, the mood of the team worsens and it could actually affect all of the players negatively. Perhaps it was because of this? Though we were together, we almost never practiced with each other. Rather, we practiced a lot with other players. It seemed that in comparison to other players, there was an uncomfortable and incomprehensible competitive spirit among us, where even requesting practice was difficult.

When looking back at the fall of 2001, I was so busy that there was no time to catch my breath. It was because the game schedules were so tightly packed, where even time to breathe was a waste of time. My third consecutive entry to the Ongamenet Starleague finals was before me, and at the same time I was taking the WCG preliminaries. In addition, I had to fit in all kinds of interviews and gaming broadcasts. As time passed by, I could feel myself growing tense.

But just because I was busy I could not take a single thing lightly. Who would want to go out into a match and lose? And I also didn’t want to hear people say, “Lim Yo-Hwan is only good at games and nothing else.” Whether they were games or broadcasts, I had to try my best in whatever was given to me to be satisfied. The number of games I had to play increased more and more, and the new maps that I had to practice on were always waiting for me. Even the expectations the fans had for me continued to rise higher and higher.

The most important thing is to win. But that was insufficient. ‘How he wins’ - that was what the fans expected. Though there are fans that simply come to watch me win, I had to think, ‘How will I win? With what strategy will I make a dramatic impression and win?’ Playing games with friends as a hobby and being a progamer are different. Obviously a progamer must play games well, but they must also play games that make it enjoyable for the people that are watching. A progamer does not hope to win through the mistakes of the opponent. Controlling the game with a strategy that I created, and winning with a scenario that I desired – that was the kind of victory that I hoped for.

During the 24 hours that I remained awake, I spent the entire time gaming. I did not and could not think of anything else. No one can play the games for me. This was entirely my task, and was something I had to do alone. No matter who I faced, I did not want to lose, and more than anything else I did not want to disappoint the fans that looked forward to my matches. And so I practiced even harder. What happened around me, how my friends were doing – I had no time to spare for anything but games. In that way, I made much of that one minute, one second practicing. And little by little, I was becoming a fool for victory.

2001 SKY Ongamenet Starleague – because I had won the two previous tournaments, there was much attention to whether I would indeed take the third consecutive victory. More than anyone else, I myself earnestly desired the third consecutive victory cup. That opportunity that I earnestly desired came to me with great difficulty. The 2001 WCG final selections and the 2001 SKY Ongamenet Starleague was that opportunity, but the days of the two matches were almost on the same day, so I had to double my concentration. Because I had to go back and forth from the two tournaments and play the matches, I obviously lacked practice time, and my physical strength was just about gone. The maps were decided. The map for the first set was Incubus. Because it was a five sets-three wins system, whoever took the first set and would control the map from the first set would be a great influence to the flow of the entire match. It was because the map for the first set was used again for the fifth set.

I first began analyzing the map Incubus. I measured the route and distance that the computer took, and confirmed the most advantageous positions. And then I happened to discover a very good spot. I had discovered a very good place where I could place my tank, behind the front expansion. It was quite a narrow spot, that when the tank was placed there, the opponent could not place a zealot there at all. If I were to succeed in this strategy, I could render my opponent’s front expansion useless. I decided on my initial build order, and continued to practice the strategy of transporting the tank with the dropship and placing it in that position. If I were to succeed in this strategy, the first and fifth sets would be mine.

On December 28th, 2001, the Jang Choong Gymnasium was filled with game fans. I promised myself that I would not give away a single game, and take the third consecutive victory title with three consecutive wins. And the first set began. Initially, the match unfolded in the way that I had planned. As Kim DongsuGarimtotook the front expansion, I loaded the tank into the dropship. And then I placed the tank on the position that I had remembered. No, I tried to place it. But the tank would not unload. I could only be confused at the moment. I made several attempts, but the result was the same. Without giving any damage to the opponent, I was forced to turn my dropship around.

Having only practiced that one strategy all this time, I did not know what else to do. What in the world could have gone wrong? In the end, I was defeated in the first set. And I tried hard to forget about it. I thought, ‘Let’s forget about the past defeat,’ and calmed myself. I was victorious in the second and third sets, and after giving away the fourth, the fifth set, with the same map from the first, began.

Now I could no longer use the strategy that I had constructed. I had to make a strategy on the spur of the moment, but nonetheless it was beyond my capacity. I pressed my opponent with a quick push, but in the end I was defeated. The people that consoled me encouraged me, saying that I had done a good job, even with second place; but my goal was victory. Because I had not won the championship, I had failed on that day.

After the match had ended, I could not understand it. Why had the tank that could definitely unload during practice not unloaded? Those that knew my game style asked me, “Why did your dropship go and just return?” They knew that my dropship would not make a trip for no reason. I then checked the map again. The conclusion was that from the sponsors’ side, the map had been uploaded incorrectly. Because it was only a slight difference, one may have thought that it would be no big deal, but to me it was an important thing that made me collapse on the doorsteps of victory. If I had only won the first round, I could have won with a 3:0. At the time I felt so wronged that my tears were about to come out.

Though it was unfortunate that after hard practice I could not use the strategy and was defeated hopelessly, I also had regrets of ‘If I had prepared a better strategy, I would not have lost.’ When I think about it now, sometimes I wonder, ‘Was I looking for an excuse after losing?’ If I had made a more thorough preparation, if I had at least confirmed the map just once, if I had prepared the next best strategy, I wouldn’t have been so confused, and I had all kinds of game tournaments and was exhausted from the event schedules – I would make these excuses. But I realized all of this was brought out by my own selfconceit.

In a game, there exists a winner and a loser. I could not acknowledge that there are times when one wins, and times when one loses. I loved games, and was a fool for games that played games. But rather than enjoying these games, I had now become a fool for victory that cried and laughed with victory and defeat.


128 ∙ I am Not a God


When I was eliminated from the Nate Ongamenet round of 16, people called it a ‘phenomenon.’ And when that happened, the players that defeated me in a match became a star.

“You said he defeated Lim Yo-Hwan? Then does that mean that he plays the game better than Lim Yo-Hwan?”
I had entered the finals three times consecutively. Of the three times, I was first place two times and second place once. Whenever I entered a tournament, I had always played winning matches, and it was taken for granted that I would always enter the finals. But that came to me as a tremendous burden. Some players were happy to enter the round of 8, and others were satisfied just to have entered the semifinals for the first time. But for me, there were fans that would even demand, “Why did you place second?”

No matter how excellent a progamer may be, he cannot win every game. If he were to fight 100 times and win them all, he would not be human but a god. But I was not a god. Something that was just as important as winning a game was how much I was enjoying the game. Of course, the moment the game had become a profession, I couldn't play whenever I felt like it, and stop when I didn't want to play. Even if I was exhausted and didn't want to play, the game was a sacred duty that I had to practice with self-discipline. No matter how tough it was with other schedules, I had to definitely practice several games a day. That my fingers would not lose their senses, and that I would not forget the fact that I was a progamer, I sat in front of the computer.

At the time, there were over four broadcasting stations that ran game tournaments. And if one were to include the event matches and additional broadcast appearances, it would be an intense schedule where matches would have to be played constantly for almost a full week. If it was an event match and not an official match, people would criticize, “Can’t you just wing it?” and “Aren’t you going to lose an important tournament while practicing for that sort of thing?”, but I thought that a match that was to be played in front of my fans would have to be won no matter what, and won dramatically.

Is it not because of the fans that I am able to continue gaming? If there were no fans, who would be watching my games? There would be no reason to broadcast matches that were not being watched. If I were to exaggerate it a bit, the fans would be the reason for my existence.

Of course, if I were to change races and play a match, or if it was a tournament that did not use a normal map but a special map for the event, I would not practice; but in the matches where I used my race, I could not take it lightly, no matter how insignificant the match was. I wanted to win no matter what, and the only way to win was to practice. And so I thoroughly practiced for the matches that would take place day after day. Even if I was to lose, I felt that it was my responsibility to present a strategy that I had prepared through practice, and lose brilliantly.

The tournament that approached was the 2002 SKY Ongamenet Starleague. Though I had always received the seed allocation before and had been able to play comfortably, due to the elimination from the round of 16 in the 2001 Ongamenet Starleague, I had to pass through the Dual Tournament. Though it was a more tough and difficult situation, I challenged myself again for the championship.

October 12, 2002, at the Olympic Park Peace Square – that was the day when the new record was set for the most number of spectators at the time in the history of game tournaments. The players that entered the finals that day were Park JungsukReachand I. One way or another, I thoroughly made the preparations. But the problem was on the day of the match. For days, I had not washed properly or slept soundly. With a desire to enter the day of the match with a refreshed feeling, I went to the bathhouse. I stayed at the saunas for a long time and sweat quite a lot. I thought that if I did that, my body would feel lighter. But the outcome was entirely the opposite.

As I entered the arena, the spectators had really gathered like the clouds. When I thought of the many people that were watching, I became a bit nervous but also had the desire to try even harder. But in contrast to that determination, my body gradually began to lag behind. My mind tightened with the tense atmosphere, but my body continued to wither. It seemed that going to the sauna was the cause. The muscles that had clumped together for the past few days had become loose in every direction, and it felt as if the fatigue had come all at once.

But the match started exactly at the appointed time. Whether it was because so much moisture had left the body, my eyes felt thick. While I am playing a game, I almost never blink. Because I cannot take my eyes off the computer screen for even a moment, I have to be careful of even the time I blink. During such a game where I had to concentrate this much, my eyes began to hurt as they became thick, and eventually tears continued to flow. Just staring at the monitor made them teary. Without even time to wipe my tears away, the game pressed on. Because of the tears, my ability to see the monitor screen decreased and I could not see well even right in front of me. One by one, the buildings were constructed at a late timing, and my control was inaccurate. Without being able to unfold a play that I wanted, defeat was as obvious as day. In the end, I was defeated 3:1.

That day forward, the sauna became one of my jinxes. On the day of the match, I never go to the sauna. I do not even wash with hot water. I keep the washing as simple as possible. When one has not maintained one’s condition properly, no matter how thoroughly one has prepared and practiced a lot, he cannot exhibit 100 percent of his plays. Isn’t it said that ‘Every why has a wherefore?’ Because of the sauna, I lost the victory cup from right under my nose.


136 ∙ Standing by Myself… I Must Win


After becoming a progamer, I was busy with climbing up to the top. At first everything was fun and exciting. I felt like I could do anything, and I was filled with confidence to the point that it seemed obvious I would win in any tournament that I entered. But nothing happened the way that I had hoped or wanted. In the fall of 2002, I yielded my seat as a champion. I had always thought that the seat at the top would be in my possession. There is a saying – if there is an uphill, there awaits a downhill. I could not defend my position at the top and stepped onto the downhill road. I thought I would continue to rise forever, but as soon as I passed the peak of the summit and stepped onto the downhill road for the first time, a harsh winter was waiting for me.

The contract with the company was also over. After that, I was alone. Without a single partner to practice for me, I was completely alone. I had thought that just doing what I had always done would make things all right, but in the matches that followed, my feelings of insecurity surfaced clearly in my plays. I thought increasing the amount of practice and playing well in the matches would work out, but that alone was not enough.

To break through the mountain of problems, all I could do was to show my strength. I had to show everyone that the seat of the ‘Emperor of Terran’ was a position that one could not easily look down on. I was in need of a championship, and very urgently. Fortunately, the opportunity came very quickly. At the 2002 WCG that was held at Daejeon in November 2002, I was eligible to participate as the champion of the previous tournament. This tournament had a special meaning for me. If my performance was not good at a state where my contract with the company was over, there would be talks that the problem was with leaving the company, and it was possible that a contract with a sponsor that was not finalized would not be easily resolved.

In the 2002 WCG, the problems began with the group leagues. Of each group, only two could enter the round of 16, and I was at a point where I had already two losses from the players from the US and Peru. My standings in the group league was four wins and two losses, and if I was to win the final seventh match, there would be a rematch, but a loss would mean immediate disqualification. Disqualification from the group league was something I had not even considered, and that was a situation that I could not come to terms with. One way or another, I had to overcome the crisis.

My opponent for the last match in order to enter the round of 16 was Dimitar AleksandrovDIDI8of Bulgaria. The map was Neo Legacy of Char, and the Bulgarian player picked Protoss. Among foreign players, there were many that expanded at an early timing, while using an expansion-centered play where one would expand in several places. He was also the same. I was at 7 o’clock, he was at 5, and it came to a point where the resources of the map were almost completely used up. With several guerilla maneuvers I tried to strike a blow to my opponent’s base, but with repeated failures of the initial attacks, the situation became more and more difficult. The Bulgarian player blocked my attacks well every time, and continued to expand one by one.

As the game progressed, it only became more disadvantageous for me. It was because after losing all of my units, the situation had developed to where I continued to unfold a precarious strategy with units being produced from my remaining resources, while my opponent defended well and continued to expand. After watching my opponent effortlessly take the starting point of another region, I also attempted to secure another starting point as my own expansion. While trying to advance to the center, I unexpectedly saw the number of my opponent’s zealots and was dumbfounded. I found out about this later, but he had over twenty gateways. With his overflowing resources, he had increased the number of gateways and was pouring out zealots. The moment I saw the zealot troops that had accumulated, I could truly experience the feeling of being pushed to a bleak condition. But this was something I could not give up on. If I typed GG, I would not be able to enter the round of 16 and I would be eliminated. Somehow, I had to push this to a rematch. Was this what a critical and hopeless moment was like?

It was the first time I saw a Protoss produce zealots like zerglings of the Zerg. In the fight at the center, it seemed as if the opponent barely controlled at all, and simply pushed his way through. The number of the zealot troops was immense, but my main units were vultures. By the numbers, I was definitely behind. But with the attacks of the vultures and the splash damage of the mines, it came to a situation where they were killed together by the explosions. My opponent as well as myself entered a state of momentary lull to produce units again. I seized this opportunity to attempt a guerilla attack. Inside his expansion with two vultures, I took out 30 to 40 of the opponent’s probes, destroyed his pylon before the carriers could come out, dropped 3-4 goliaths on the slope to cut off the resources, and continued the guerilla attacks to buy time somehow. It was at a point where the Bulgarian player had already taken two-thirds of the entire map; I had barely used one-fourth of the resources. It now came to where the winner and loser would be determined based on who would take the last remaining starting point. In the end, I was able to take the expansion and pull the hour-long bloody battle to victory.

After the match was over, I was completely exhausted. Though the match was an hour long, I was being dragged along from the start, and because the conditions were bleak throughout the entire match, my strength was depleted even more. While I sat there absentmindedly, I suddenly heard a sound of a crack. The opponent had broken his keyboard and left. The player afterwards received a warning. How wronged he must have felt, giving away a game that he had won. If I placed myself in his position, I would also have wanted to smash it all, whether it was the keyboard or the computer. If I were to give away a game that I had already won, more than anything else I would have been angry at myself. Like this, I was narrowly able to enter the rematch.

But the road I had to take was still long. The rematch took place that day at the living quarters. The four countries of France, U.S., Bulgaria, and Korea were tied. I lost again to the player from the U.S. It seemed that the foreign players saw right through my strategies. Without any practice partners, I had not been able to practice properly, so I had no choice but to use the strategies from the previous year’s tournament, and the U.S. player had already known the strategies well. After losing to him, it eventually came to a fateful match with the Bulgarian player.

With the dropship, I seized the slope of the opponent’s base and blocked his gathering of minerals, while my opponent had produced dark templars and had broken into my base. If I were to return to defend, the opponent would be able to gather resources, but if I did not go to defend and continued to attack, it seemed that my main base would be destroyed. For a moment I was conflicted, but I decided to continue my attacks. In a word, it was an elimination battle. It came down to who would be killed first. But during that moment, my opponent made a critical error. The turrets should have been destroyed first, but he had only destroyed the turrets in the front, and was attacking other buildings. I did not lose this opportunity and constructed a defensive formation. My opponent’s mistake had pulled me out of the pit and led me to the bright skies. If my opponent had moved in a little further, I would have lost the match. But after the game was over, I was smiling with victory.

As if I had received a compensation for entering the round of 16 with such difficulties, I unexpectedly was able to enter the finals quite easily. The finals was against Hong JinhoYellow, who I entered the tournament with as a Korean representative. Whether it was because of the thought that the Korean representative team would receive the gold medal no matter who won, my mind was a bit at ease. The result was two consecutive WCG championships – whether it was because I went through the tournament during the difficult time, I was quite moved by the victory. Like this, I was able to show that the ‘Emperor of Terran’ would not crumble so easily, and though I did for a moment step onto the downhill path, I showed that I was able to jump right back to the top.


146 ∙ Twenty-Three Years Old, a Hundred-Millionaire


Twenty-three years old – three years passed since I began the life of a progamer. It was also the most intense time that I had ever spent. I did not have the leisure to think about what was right or wrong. If there was a tournament, I entered it, and if I won, that would be the end of it. But little by little, I began to worry about the occupation of a progamer.

At first I was happy simply with the fact that I had become a progamer. I liked that I could feel at ease and play games openly. The meaning of a progamer, one’s mental attitude, vision and such were just momentary worrying of principles that brushed by. But this time I had the thought that something must definitely change. For a while, money was not a particularly important issue. Winning in games was the most important. But this was not everything. To a progamer, money was a measure of self-respect. No matter how much I said, “I am a progamer,” others would press with questions of, “That’s a profession? How much does that pay?” Before, I had thought, ‘Is money that important?’ but if I were to continue playing games with the profession of a progamer, I began to realize that I would have to fight all prejudice and win, including the issue of money. Adults could not easily accept that one could earn money by playing games. “Is playing games well also a skill? I guess one must at least be good at games, because he cannot study.” I wanted to send one flying to the adults that denounced progamers like this, with this ‘money’ that adults loved so much.

I decided to leave the company that I had been with for two years. The contract was over, but I did not renew the contract. Because the company I was with operated without sponsors and only with the income of prize money and revenue, I was financially quite poor. I felt things could not be this way. For a game organization to receive a stable support, a sponsor is most certainly necessary. It must be a sponsor that can support, trust, and invest in progamers so that they may only concentrate on the matches. For a progamer to be one of the professions, and to be recognized as e-sports, the support of a large corporation is absolutely necessary. It is the same for baseball or soccer. Without the support of a large enterprise, how can they support the salaries of so many professional players? Simply holding onto the aid of the prize money would not increase the size of the playing field. Of course, there must be a coach and players to practice with, but I felt that a sponsor should be first.

Right after the 2002 SKY Ongamenet Starleague was over, I left the company and started working on my own. Because it was a time by myself to meet a solid sponsor, the gold medal that I grasped at the 2002 WCG was more than just ‘gold.’ And afterwards, I concluded a sponsor contract with Orion that presented the best terms. The terms was receiving operating expenses in addition to the individual salary. The salary was one hundred million won. And like this, at the age of twenty-three, I became a progamer to receive a salary of one hundred million won.

Though it has been three to four years since the start of the occupation of a progamer, not all players lived with a salary. Receiving earnings through tournament prize money, performance fees and events was the entire income. Even if one were to exclude the operation costs, the actual amount of money received was not much. Though there were those that said earning that much for being in the teens or twenties was a lot, for games to be recognized as e-sports along with the development of the gaming industry, the treatment of progamers that stood at the center of it all must first change. If a senior progamer did not properly receive a salary and lived as a progamer, he could not give hope to the juniors. My receiving a salary of a hundred million gave hope to the junior gamers that they too could be hundred-millionaire. And I was also happy that I was the first to have achieved it.

People ask how I became a hundred-millionaire at the age of twentythree. But my goal was not to become a hundred-millionaire from the start. If I had become a progamer while chasing after money, I would not have survived. They say that a person with a salary of at least a hundred million won works on average of 14 hours a day. In a word, they are ‘workaholics,’ that is, living in a state of addiction to their work. It means becoming a hundred-millionaire after living a life of working from early in the morning until evening. It is the same for me. At first, I started because I liked gaming. But afterwards I fell into gaming and barely slept, playing at least 16 hours a day. It can be compared to being a ‘gameholic’. And while acquiring skills like this, I unwittingly ended up at the top. There were also fans that liked my game plays, and the number of people that sought after me increased. A progamer must stake everything on his abilities and popularity. When I met these two conditions, large corporations that wanted to be a sponsor appeared. While living deeply with the work that I wanted to do, I had without realizing it become a hundredmillionaire.


156 ∙ 1% of Hope Destroys the 99% of Despair


A game can never be won with just luck. If luck does operate within a match, it is only the positions that are randomly assigned by the program of the game. It is true that there are advantageous positions for every player, race, and map. I cannot do anything about the luck of the position. It is a problem that must be overcome for every match. But no matter what position I start on, if I create a strategy in which I can perfectly control the opponent, even the luck of the position cannot be the decisive factor towards the outcome. Ultimately, formulating a perfect strategy and applying it through practice will decide the outcome.

I do not choose a safe path. Though my aim is for victory, it is because I do not think there is a safe way of reaching the destination. Others say that I enjoy a venture, but I only desire a perfect victory. They say that I often use risky plays which have a high probability of failure when it is discovered in the beginning, but I do not enjoy risky plays. Gambling has a high probability of failure, but I only bring to the match a perfect winning strategy which can never fail. The strategies that others say are a gamble are what I developed after tens of hundreds of times of practice. Even if it does not work on the opponent, I do not think that I failed myself, because I had gone out with the utmost method.

But my strategies were disclosed to many players, and managing the matches gradually became tough. There were more instances in which they arrived after having seen through my strategies. Now I could no longer win against my opponents with only a strategic advantage. A fierce struggle to stay alive to the end had now begun.

Just as hot as the summer of 2003, this was the season that had worn me out. Each broadcasting station began their team leagues, and with the increase of individual leagues, the days of playing matches without a single day of rest continued. Among them was the round of 16 of the Ongamenet Starleague. Though I was exhausted from the pressing game schedules, I could not neglect a single game. That is why the match against Do Jin-gwang [DaK]Joyo seems to be all the more unforgettable.

As I faced the match, the strategy that I constructed was to determine the outcome early in the game with only goliaths. But as though the opponent had already anticipated my strategy, he placed several cannons during this timing, several dragoons during that timing, and had been responding perfectly to the number of my offensive units. I became restless. The expansion or the main base – one of the two had to be destroyed. Instead of expanding, I was determined to see the outcome through the use of units. If I could not end the game in this condition, the victory would go over to my opponent. I gave up on expanding, poured all my resources into units, and continued attacking. But it was not enough.

Because he defended so well, there was no way for me to break through. In the end, he had protected his expansions, and because I did not have an expansion, the game leaned towards Do Jin-gwang. All I could do was to expand quickly and find an opportunity to attack before the difference increased even more. I was undoubtedly at an unfavorable situation – no, it was a situation in which I could not win. My main base was in ruins, and the remaining resources and units in comparison were worthless. But I remained determined.

While he kept on defending, Do Jin-gwang also lost some timings. It was only after the match that I found out that my units had been well-upgraded, both for weapons and armor, but Do Jin-gwang’s upgrades were late, as he had been concentrating on expansions. Furthermore, it was a state in which his units were divided in two, to defend his main base and expansion. Gathering all of my resources and units, I went in for one final rush. A situation where I could not ensure my victory while attacking, but one in which I had no other choice – I attacked with the mindset of ‘Ok, let’s see this to the end.’ In the end, my thoughts were correct. The one that had given up on the match was not I, but Do Jin-gwang.

If Do Jin-gwang had not chosen to expand, but rather to upgrade and produce more units to attack my main base, I would have definitely lost. It was a game where not giving up on the belief that ‘the best defense is offense’ was the driving force to victory.

If I had given up in the middle and left after typing GG, I would not have wanted to remember this match even in my dreams. The reason would not be because I had lost. It would be because I had given up hope. Though it was a situation in which 99 percent was of despair, as long as 1 percent of hope remained, I did not let go of the match to the end. If I were to give up on a match like that, I knew well that in the end I would be the one to regret it. Though my remaining resources and the number of my units were extremely small in comparison to my opponent, it seemed that I would not have regrets if I gave up after having used up all potential of that 1 percent. Others think only of the number 99 and 1, and said that it was something that could never happen. But that 1 percent brought a 100 percent victory for me. Not giving up until the end, even in the 99 percent of despair, trying my best as long as that 1 percent of hope remained – whatever situation I was in, that was the only way in which I myself could become fearless.


166 ∙ The Best Coach, The Best Players


‘A friend in need is a friend indeed’ is a saying that I’ve actually wept over. Up to the moment that the company made an exclusive contract with Orion and me, I suffered considerably. I felt as though I could understand how Robinson Crusoe felt when he was alone on a deserted island. Besides the fact that I did not have a practice partner, my determination and confidence of playing in a certain way as a progamer was faltering. Then I met someone that saved me. The one that helped me is Joo Hoon, the coach of SK Telecom T1 that I am a part of. Though he has now become the best coach with great charisma, he was like a brother to me only three years ago.

Our first encounter was at the previous company, while I was part of the IS team. In 2001, Hoon-hyung (meaning older brother) explained that he wished to research sports psychology and progamers, and came to visit our team. At first I thought it was a rather strange topic for research, but now that I am under his continual guidance, I begin to realize the effectiveness of controlling one’s psyche. And it was around the time Hoon-hyung became familiar to our team that I left the company.

Not being able to find a practice partner, I found practice through almost begging. When I entered the 2002 WCG, Hoon-hyung found practice partners for me, as well as taking care of the affairs that followed the tournament events. I felt so thankful to him, who was by my side during the moments I felt alone, not a mere entrepreneurial partner but like an affectionate blood-related brother. My father, watching us at the time, suggested that I should create a team with Hoon-hyung as the coach. Hoon-hyung was open to the idea. I was at the time negotiating with Orion concerning the annual salary, and naturally he and I set out to create the Orion team.

We first began to gather the team members. Changhoon ZergLee entered, and Yongwook Kingdom and Sungjae IntoTheRainbow joined together. And with Hyunjin [z-zone]kOs that entered, the members of the family continued to grow. As the Terrans slowly became powerful in the flow of Starcraft, our team also needed a skilled Terran user. It was more difficult to scout a skilled player than anything, so we decided to pick a player among the rookies. Among the rookies was a player that caught my eye the most. It was Choi Yeonsungiloveoov. It was when I struggled with having no opponents to practice Terran versus Terran, that I came to know the gamer called Choi Yeonsung that was quite famous on Battle.net. Because it was quite urgent, I could not afford to be particular between an amateur or a pro, and straightforwardly requested his help. He practiced a few games with me, and at first I did not feel that he particularly played well. But as we repeated our practices, there was a somewhat different feeling from him than the Terrans that I had seen up to that point. In comparison to the progamers, he had no system of organization and had many blind spots, but I felt that he had a lot of spirit and a potential for development. And so I personally suggested that he enter our team.

As one or two gathered in this fashion, before we knew it we had formed a decent team. I did not expect much at first, but as time passed by I came to know what excellent players our team members were. Choi Yeonsung especially continued to grow immensely, receiving praises as the ‘appearance of the monster.’ And so our team entered the Ongamenet Proleague finals that opened for the first time. The opponents were the Hanbit Stars, who were considered to have the best teamwork. Most of the game specialists also predicted the Hanbit team to have the edge.

Our team members’ skills at the time had not been proved to the public, and listed in the entries of the Hanbit team were players such as Kang Do-Gyung H.O.T-Forever, Park Jungsuk [Oops]Reach, Byun GilsupSync, Park Gyungrak Junwi_[saM], all who were skilled and had experience in championship matches. On the other hand, we had nothing, so there was nothing to lose. We were proud with just the fact that a newborn team was standing on the stage for the finals. But now that we had entered the finals, our goal was definitely for the championship victory. We had no intension of getting second place. We worked hard, starting with planning the player entries. The maps had already been decided, and because the player entries were announced the day of the match, we had to practice according to which opponent we predicted would appear for the matches. The coach and the players gathered together and spent several days preparing the entries.

August 30, 2003, the finals opened at the Olympic Park Peace Square. The Hanbit team’s entries did not deviate too much from our predictions. Though we were not completely on the mark, we had correctly guessed more than 50 percent, so we realized that if we followed just as we had practiced, we would have the advantage. And so the game finally started. In the best of seven games, the first game was the important match that would set the pace. That heavy responsibility was given to me. In baseball, the first batter’s role must be to get to first base. My role as the first batter was to bring the first win that would lead our team to victory. The opponent was Byun Gilsup, and because we had predicted this, I used the build that I practiced during the Terran versus Terran practices. With a satisfying first victory, to the last win from Park Yongwook that stood as our last batter, our team took hold of the championship cup.

It was for this victory cup that we spent our time at the quarters eating, sleeping, and sweating while we practiced. Others only saw our outward appearance and did not see our true appearances. The secret to our team’s victory was that our players had the endless potential and the hope that our dream would come true, as long as we never gave up. We will shine brighter tomorrow than today, and even brighter the day after.


Chapter Four: A Period of Loss


That day when I became 24, I realized that the priorities in my life had reversed.
During my 20s, when I should be traveling and meeting with friends, I had already established my life’s goals and was striving towards it, as though I was in my 30s.

Blindly aiming for that goal as ‘the best progamer,’ it was until that day when my life suddenly felt empty, that I was born as a young man in my 20s.

[Note: "A Period of Loss" was the title given to the initial Korean translation of Haruki Murakami’s book, Norwegian Wood.]

176 ∙ I Also Want to Play


“Play ‘Norwegian Wood,’”said Naoko. Reiko brought a porcelain banking cat from the kitchen. It was a coinbank, and Naoko dropped a hundred-yenpiece from her purse into its slot.

“What’s this all about?” I asked.

“It’s a rule,” said Naoko. “When I request ‘Norwegian Wood,’ I have to put a hundred yen into the bank. It’s my favorite, so I make a point of paying for it. I make a request when I really want to hear it.”“And that way I get my cigarette money!”said Reiko.

Reikogave her fingers a good flexing and then played “Norwegian Wood.”Again she played with real feeling, but never allowed it to become sentimental. I took a hundred-yen coin from my pocket and dropped it into the bank. “Thank you,”said Reiko with a sweet smile.

“That song can make me feel so sad,” said Naoko. “I don’t know, I guess I imagine myself wandering in a deep wood. I’m all alone and it’s cold and dark, and nobody comes to save me. That’s why Reiko never plays it unless I request it.” “Sounds like Casablanca!” Reiko said with a laugh.

— From Norwegian Wood

The emotionally troubled Naoko, the lively, truthful Midori, and Reiko in her 40s that dreams of a normal life – three women that become entangled with the protagonist, in Watanabe’s love story- Haruki Murakami’sNorwegian Woodclearly illustrates the unlimited loss and restoration of the young generation living today.

While I was reading this book, I thought about the ‘reasons for those troubled in their 20s.’ The youth that completely forfeited their teens to receive that ‘College Admission’ notice- as they enter their 20s, the emotions they go through are thought to be a kind of ‘dizziness symptom.’ It could be somewhat described as the vertigo that one feels as they suddenly exit a dark tunnel and face the bright sunlight. It seems like a fated destiny that those in their 20s are troubled when they confront freedom, like an uninvited guest that makes an abrupt appearance.

At 24 years, I was a little late in meeting my fated destiny. As my friends began to end their days of roaming about the big clubs after their heartbreaks over their first loves, I began to worry not as the ‘Progamer Lim Yo Hwan,’ but as the ’24-year-old human Lim Yo-Hwan.'

Since 12th grade, I lived only playing games. From the moment I first played the game called Starcraft, I had no interest in anything but gaming. Starcraft was my destiny. I had not once regretted the path that I had chosen. But one day I looked back on the past events. ‘Being 24, what do I have left but games?’ What I had were only memories and people related to gaming. And because I considered myself to have lived life to the fullest, those times were very precious to me. But questions that I had never thought before, such as ‘How are my other friends of my age doing? What are they striving for?’ began to enter my head.

I had no hobbies other than gaming. My work was gaming, and my hobbies were gaming. I had a girlfriend for a little while, but it did not last long. I was registered in a university, but I could not live the college life like other students. Obviously I did not get to go to an MT (“membership training,” a fun trip between college students) and had not traveled with friends. The only traveling I did was following game events and touring through all the cities of the country. I hardly saw any tv or movies. The album of my 20s was only filled with championship photos and newspapers clippings.

I could not concentrate in my games. I wanted to play. I wanted to play like my other friends of my age. But even playing was not an easy thing. Someone once said, ‘one that has eaten meat before eats it well.’ There were many days spent just thinking of how to go about playing. And because most of my close friends were progamers, it was difficult to make time with their own game tournament schedules. It was also awkward calling my old friends, because I had not been able to keep in touch with them during the time I was gaming. On top of that, I was the type that did not like to do things by myself- if I had to eat alone, I would rather not eat. And so it was difficult to go travel or watch a movie by myself. I was filled with thoughts of wanting to play, but I did not know how to play, or who to play with; I had no one that would play with me, and did not know how to resolve that feeling. I simply spent the days idly at the living quarters.

The thoughts of wanting to play pressed heavily. I had rather wanted those thoughts to secretly disappear. But the thoughts that coiled around inside my head that would not budge… these simple wantings to play then developed to a youth’s troubles. The games that I was so crazy about were no longer interesting. I did not know what to do. The genial days of spring had arrived, but I was still confined in my own cave, as though I had not awakened from the winter sleep. I could not see the daylight.

With my head mixed up like this, there was no way that my games could unfold properly. When there is a difficult problem, I cannot concentrate in my games, even during my practices. Even practices require a significant amount of strength and concentration. If one thinks about something else and just goes through the practice, the practice becomes useless. The biggest problem, however, was not being able to concentrate during tournaments. It happened to a certain tournament that I had entered. The game was being broadcasted live, but I involuntarily was thinking about something else. The fans that watched were probably confused, thinking, “Why is he doing that?”. When one cannot concentrate in the game, all reflexes slow down. Simply put, the opponent steals the timing from you. One that acquires the timing within the game is able to control the game. At some point, I had begun to play games where I was continuously dragged along. I was the one most surprised by the fact that I had begun to think of other things during the match. Though I had prepared a lot for the match, I lost because I was thinking of something else. How could something like this happen? Something that I could never allow in the past, something that just could not happen was developing.

People began to say, “The days of Lim Yo-Hwan have passed.” There were talks of “How did Lim Yo-Hwan become such an easy opponent?” and disappointed voices of “Lim Yo-Hwan is not like before. He’s not the old Lim Yo-Hwan.” It was true, even when I thought about it. A progamer is evaluated based on his results. The results were obvious, as I had not produced any wins, but continually showed myself losing. In the past, even when I had lost, I prided myself to losing brilliantly, and my fans liked my hardworking self…but they were just thoughts. I leaned against the cheers of my fans and sat alone, afflicted. And the results surfaced during the matches.

Starting from spring 2003, I was not able to produce any exceptional results in the individual leagues. In the proleague and team leauges, my juniors performed better than myself, and we took the championship. Still, I had not once been unable to enter the Ongamenet Starleague. Since the 2001 Hanbit Ongamenet Starleague, I had not left the Starleague scene. Nine consecutive advances to the Ongamenet Starleague was a record that no one else could follow. And now the Dual Tournament started for the tenth consecutive entrance to the Starleague.

After defeating Jun Sangwook Midas[gm], I entered the winners' final, but I lost to Park Jungsuk [Oops]Reach and fell to the losers' final. I faced the rookie Zerg, Park Sungjun July[z-zone] that appeared like a comet, and we fought for the last ticket to the Starleague. With the initial marine, medic, and firebat combination, I went straight for a rush, but Park Sungjun calmly blocked it, and the dogfight of attack and defense continued. The problem lied in my overconfidence. I thought to myself, ‘This should be enough to put me at an advantage. I would be able to finish it off with this amount.’ I thought I was unfolding my plays in the way I had intended, but that was a miscalculation. My units were not able to damage the opponent’s base, and had been annihilated. The tide of the battle had turned, and the dreams of a tenth consecutive entrance to the Ongamenet Starleague came to nothing.

A poet once said that something that falls to the ground has wings. Am I falling right now? Just because a bird does not fly does not mean it has lost its wings. I have not lost my wings. I am merely tired and just stopping to rest. Just for a brief moment…


186 ∙ The Slump I Cannot Acknowledge


When I failed to enter the Starleague, people said, “Lim Yo-Hwan has fallen into a slump.” It seemed as though everyone was waiting for the ‘Terran Emperor’ to collapse. But I did not collapse. There cannot be such a thing as slump for me. After living the life of a progamer, I had not once thought of a moment as a slump. Because I could not concentrate during practice and matches, it was obvious that my results were poor. But I do not consider a slump as not being able to concentrate. A slump is when things do not work out, even when one tries his best.

In the past, I almost never saw the matches played by others. It was because even watching the games I needed to watch were unbearable. There are popular strategies even in the game of Starcraft- “It worked when I used that.” Strategies that were wellknown among progamers also became popular. Rather than using a risky play, starting with a safe early play and planning towards a quantity-oriented late game was quickly becoming popular. As I continued to lose, I lost my confidence, and without realizing my problems, I began to accustom myself to these popular styles.

With every failure of the initial attacks and continual losses, I thought perhaps changing to a quantity-oriented late-game play might be better. And so I changed the direction of my practices a little. People began to say, “Lim Yo-Hwan’s plays are different than before,” and “His style changed.” These sayings then began to be linked with “Lim Yo-Hwan threw away his own unique style.”

This was a path that I had chosen during my afflicted situation. But the results continued to flow towards a worse direction. I thought it would be the strategy that would help me regain my confidence and end the vicious cycle of defeat, but I continued instead as a losing spectacle. Pushing through with this strategy that others won easily with had instead produced an opposite effect. I even listened to how certain strategies on certain maps were effective, learned another person’s strategy that was not my style, and went out to the matches. But the opponent responded with an even better counter. The problem was not the strategy. The problem lied in my heart.

It was because of my inclination to win no matter what. In the past, I had prepared myself with the desire to carry out an amazing match, whether I won or lost. I had diligently constructed strategies according to my style, and to perfect those strategies I had practiced intensely. But I began to see other players winning and began to copy them. I had forgotten the most important thing, that more important than winning was to control myself and focus. I had forgotten that the results are better when one makes an effort to win according to his own style.

Finding my style again- but it did not seem like everything would be taken care of with that alone. I could not deny that my concentration and controlling my condition was in a mess. Not once able to play and worrying about how to play, there was no way that I could think of game strategies. That concentration I had when I was constructing strategies for 24 hours a day, even in my dreams, where did it go?

Watching the rookie players, I was at times able to discover my old self. The passion towards the game, the resolution one makes to give everything until the day of becoming the greatest progamer, the frightening gaze at the monitor – there were many fierce rookies. I especially felt that their control had gotten a lot better than before. It was not a simple matter of having the quicker hands. It was how well one concentrated, how well one knew the properties of a unit, and how much one practiced to learn those things. Ultimately, the match became a battle between their levels of concentration, a psychological warfare.

The plants inside a greenhouse quickly bloom beautiful flowers. The plants that grow up in the plains, exposed to the wind and the rain, may appear crude and unshapely, but they bloom flowers that have a tenacious survivability. Calm seas cannot raise an experienced sailor, but rough and difficult seas can make a competent sailor. I am exposed to the wind and the rain in the plains, and I am navigating through the rough and difficult seas.

The wind and the rain will stop someday. The rough and difficult seas will soon become calm. And afterwards, it is certain that the brilliant sun will rise. This is just one course of my life that I must overcome, through the wind and rain, and the storm.


190 ∙ ‘Pro’ in Games, ‘Amateur’ in Love
If you ask me what is harder than games, I would probably respond with, “love.” Love to me is like a very difficult math problem. No matter how much I think about it, no matter how hard I stare at it, I simply cannot find the answer. Looking through the books that point out the equation of love, and even after substituting with this formula and that formula, I just cannot solve it. When will I be able to solve this problem? Or should I just ignore it, leaving it as a problem that can never be solved?

During my school days, I felt no envy towards my friends that had girlfriends. ‘Why do I need a girlfriend? We always have a good time just by ourselves.’ Like that, I was a child that did not have any interest in having a girlfriend. With my introverted personality, I could not even properly face a girl. I had three sisters, but I still felt shy in front of girls, and my friends just could not understand why I would turn red, even when staring at girls. Obviously there weren’t any girls that liked those kinds of boys, and I did not have any girlfriends until I graduated from high school.

The first girlfriend I met was through gaming. Because I went to an all-boys’ middle school and high school, there weren’t any chances of meeting girls. But there were girls that I met regularly while playing games at the PC bang. As I continued to come across them, my face color returned to normal, and I spoke quite well and made great progress.

It was during the time when I used to play games all day long at the PC bang. I had no future and it was before I became a progamer, but it was the time when I was happy with just the fact that I could play to my heart’s content. Then one day my attention was drawn towards a certain girl. She was a girl that would come once in a while to the PC bang that I was always at. Strangely enough, when I looked at her, my eyes would continue to look at her, and I wanted to say something to her. But I was not once able to have a proper conversation with her. On top of that, I found out that she had a boyfriend. There was not much I could do.

But then a chance came across like fate. One day I saw her crying on the steps. She had broken up with her boyfriend. This was an opportunity given to me by heaven. Now that she was single, she could be my girlfriend. I comforted her, and with that start, we naturally became close. And that was how my first love began.

Without having to directly mention about us being in a relationship, we met frequently and spent time together playing games. And it was most likely because it was my first time having a girlfriend that I could not control my emotions of wanting to know what she was doing, and what I could do to make her happy. I was not adept at creating the kind of atmosphere a girl liked, and I did not have the ability to buy her expensive gifts, but I was happy with just the fact that we were together. She was, after all, my first girlfriend.

But our happy times did not last long. Whether it was because we were of equal age, we began to fight every time we met. Others could think that it was just a quarrel between friends, but I became exhausted from the repetitive fights. With the feeling of insecurity of the uncertain futures each of us had, along with our tempers mixed in, there was no stopping to our disputes. It was because we had no jobs, we were not even college students, and were no more than a relationship by enjoying games at a PC bang. Exhausted from fighting, we decided to take some time off, and that was how it ended.

If I had not begun the life of a progamer and had enough time, things might have gone well with her. But I became a progamer and I needed even more time for practice. I had no time to think about her. But that might have just been an excuse. I might have lost her because I could not express my feelings for her properly, and could have just been looking for an excuse. And so my childish first love came to an end.

Shortly after letting her go, I became a progamer. A company team was created, and I was given teammates. Day after day, it was full of practice. Now that I was playing games again every day, it seemed there would be no opportunity to have a girlfriend. But before long, a girl appeared that caught my eye. She was a friend that greatly liked gaming, and her main race was also Terran. By saying that I was teaching the game, I intentionally made time that I could be with her. With the practice that I had to do, my time was completely full, but I did not consider time wasted when I was with her. We gradually spent more time together, and I introduced her to the team that I was part of. And she became a progamer as well.

We were teammates at the same progaming team, as well as being a boyfriend and girlfriend. Though one could consider being together as dating, the most we could do was play games. When I think about it now, I think I was a very boring boyfriend. After becoming a progamer, I entered in all kinds of game tournaments, and with the increased amount of practice, the amount of private time decreased. Obviously the time I could spend with her decreased. Because we could not put in enough time, I did not give her many mementos. At the time, gaming took priority over my girlfriend. My first goal was to be the greatest progamer, and everything else was second. At first, she understood my situation as a teammate. She knew well the stress that one received as a progamer, and so she celebrated with me when I won, and stayed by my side when I lost.

I continually became very active, and was too busy to eat or sleep. I began to take hold of championships in game tournaments, and many places began to ask for me. While I continued to drive on relentlessly as a progamer, she left her life as a progamer. Though we did not have time alone together when she was in the team, we could still briefly see each other, but when she left the team, it was hard to see her, even once a month. Saying that my schedule was busy, saying that I had to practice, I forced her to keep waiting. Finally, she was worn out.

“It’s too difficult to wait any longer. Let’s break up!”
I was not ready to let her go. But I realized that it would be more difficult for her to be by my side. Though I was heartbroken, I knew that there was nothing I could do for her, and I knew that I could not spend the kind of time that she desired, and so I let her go. And like that, my second love was gone like the empty wind.

For a while I could not have a girlfriend. I was too busy, and I had no leeway to have a girlfriend. And with the increasing number of fans, my outings continued to decrease. All the people that I met were related to gaming, and it seemed that there weren't many opportunities to meet potential new girlfriends. But as the time passed by, I met a third girlfriend. Didn’t someone say that love was like an accident, where love was like running into another person? I truly met this girl by chance. And I fell for her at first sight. Though I met her for a short while, she was a person that I really liked. There is also a need for timing in love. Our timings didn’t match. Why our love kept on missing each other, I was very resentful. That spring of 2004 that I spent with her was the happiest month of April, and also the most brutal, because I could no longer be with her. And so my third love remained as an untreated wound.

There are always winners and losers in games. But there are no winners in breakups. Mutually letting go of their hands, each side giving up on each other, perhaps that is why both become losers.
I became a loser after my third love. But I would rather be a loser than fear love. I am waiting for a new love.

196 ∙ The Way to the Cemetery


“Yo-Hwan! I’ve been discharged from the military service. We should play a game, huh?”

“Is it that time already? And are we even on the same level?”

“Hah, you’ve grown a lot. It seems like only a few days ago that I contained you on an island map, and now you say that we're not on the same level? Come out! Let’s have a match!”

“All right, but what I received that time, you're going to definitely receive a payback.”
Kim Jinsuk – he is the friend that took a decisive role in my becoming a progamer. It’s because he was the friend that taught me Starcraft for the first time. While I was actively working as a progamer, Jinsuk was in the military. He had gone to the military a bit early in comparison to our other friends, and one day I received a phone call. Spending the time only playing games, I kept in touch with my old school friends irregularly, and could not meet with them often. When I thought about seeing a childhood friend after such a long time, I was in high spirits. When I arrived at the agreed location, I could not see Jinsuk. But then a certain guy waved at me. When I looked closely, it was Jinsuk. I was so surprised I could not speak properly. That Jinsuk who used to be so sturdy was now scrawny, and his face looked swollen.

“Are you Jinsuk? You’re him? What happened to your face?”
“They say the unlucky idiot breaks his nose, even when he falls backwards- that’s me. It wasn’t even time for me to be discharged, but they told me to leave. They say it’s leukemia…it seems something went wrong while I was donating blood.”

I could not believe it. Jinsuk with leukemia? That wasn’t a disease one could easily cure. Looking at Jinsuk, it seemed that his hair was going to turn white. Jinsuk kept on asking me to play a game with him, but I was opposed to taking him to a PC bang where the air wasn’t too clean. Looking at Jinsuk, it didn’t seem like it would be fun playing games.

“What do you mean, a game? I haven’t seen you in a while, let’s talk and catch up.”
Jinsuk seemed to understand, and agreed. And so the revenge battle that I had waited for three years would have to be pushed to another day. We could always play later when Jinsuk got healthier. Though it was a difficult disease, he was such a strong friend, and I thought he would fight through it. I wanted to believe it was so.

We met up a few more times after that, but because my schedule was so tight, I could not see him often. My life was hectic with game tournaments, and I could almost never meet anyone other than my family members. I participated in game tournaments whenever I was outside, and had to practice when I was at the living quarters, so my 24-hour schedule was filled with games. There were more people that looked for me, and my cell phone frequently received unknown calls. A lot of the calls were prank calls, so if it was a number that I did not know, I hardly picked it up.

But one day I received a voice mail. It was Jinsuk’s younger brother.
“Yo-Hwan-hyung, it’s me, Jinsup. My brother is at the funeral chapel right now. I looked for you a lot, but I totally could not contact you. If you get this message, come and see my brother go on his way.”

I was so shocked that it seemed I was frozen stiff. I could not believe what I had just heard. ‘Jinsuk is dead, my friend Jinsuk died? It can’t be.’ I ran to the hospital. Even after looking at Jinsuk’s portrait photograph, it did not seem real.

“Yo-Hwan-hyung. Jinsuk-hyung looked for you a lot. He wanted to see you. He said he wanted to see you once more…”
This could not be. Jinsuk had been calling me while he was dying, and I was just spending the time casually practicing and laughing. I could not forgive myself.

Sitting in the funeral chapel and looking at Jinsuk’s photograph, the moments I spent with Jinsuk flashed through my mind. The times when we ran about the alleys, playing cards and marbles; quarreling over a trivial thing when we were a little older; getting into a fist-fight after saying he smelled of fish, because his parents ran a fish store; the cheerful feeling of playing games together during the summer break of 12th grade; and his swollen face when I last saw him. Jinsuk and I shared unforgettable memories.

They said that Jinsuk was receiving cancer treatments, but he wanted to go to the retreat with his church. His church and his family dissuaded him from going, but he was stubborn. At the church retreat, he briefly went into the water, but because his immune system was at a weak state, he could not last for a moment.

The moment I heard that, I became very angry. I wanted to just curse at him. But I felt terrible thinking how much Jinsuk wanted to go there, how he wanted to go play with his friends. He may have for a moment wanted to forget that he was a patient. How could I not know Jinsuk’s desire to play with his friends at the beach. But it could not be this way. If he was to leave this world so easily, what about me. What about me, that I could not even watch over my friend that was leaving.

Letting go of my friend like that, I made a greater effort towards the dream that my friend gave me. I wanted to carry Jinsuk’s portion as well and try harder. And after a year, I drove alone to the cemetery where Jinsuk rested. After asking for directions here and there, I arrived at the gravestone of the person that enabled me to meet my ‘destiny.’

“Jinsuk! I’m here. You like that spot? Thanks to you, I even get the opportunity to come to a cemetery. Did you want to go to heaven that soon? It was fun when we used to play soccer at the field. Do you remember when we went to the Boramae Park swimming pool? It was so fun when I was learning to play the game from you. Hey! Even though I’m a progamer like this, isn’t it strange that I’ve never been able to beat a commoner like you? You just wait. When I see you in heaven later, I’m going to definitely beat you. Just wait. What if I can’t wait until then, and want to see you? You can come whenever you want to see me, right? You’ve given me such a precious dream, but it seems there’s nothing I’ve given you. I’m going to try hard. Because you’ll be watching over me.”

I’ve heard it said that a true friendship is like one’s health. It’s because one cannot understand its true value before losing it. Now that I could not see Jinsuk, I wanted to see him all the more. I missed him all the more. I blamed myself for not being able to spend more time with Jinsuk, and even today the Jinsuk that I used to run around with in the alleys crosses my mind.


201 ∙ Fight Against Prejudice


“Good morning. It’s the morning talk program. Could you tell me about the life of a progamer?”
I received a call from a broadcasting station. When the public broadcasting station asks for me, I spring at the chance. To spread the word about the profession of a progamer, I think that talking even once for a public radio is more effective than going on a gaming cable broadcast. Professional baseball players or soccer players always let themselves be known to the national audience through sports news, and even though progamers are supported by e-sports, they are still at a distance from the public broadcasts. But this phone call was from the public radio morning talk program. What I heard from the writers in charge was that the topic was about game addiction, and they wished to discuss the ways of overcoming game addiction. I decided to go, as I felt it was a good opportunity to let others know about the job of a progamer, as well as expressing my views about game addiction.

Besides the fact that it was a morning talk program, the MC, the studio audience, and the listeners were elderly people of my parents’ generation. I anticipated that it would be a bit difficult, but the music artist Chae Rina that liked to play games was there as well, so it seemed that she would be on my side.

But when the broadcast began, the atmosphere turned strangely. Suddenly they started talking about cyber-money and asked me, “Is cyber-money worth around 100 million won,” “Are you not addicted to games,” “If one kills another player in a game, do you feel the urge to kill them in real life,” and I was so confounded that I could not speak properly. They had left out the most important discussion about how to solve the problem of game addiction, and continued to ask outrageous questions. I did not even have much time to speak. Rather than asking me questions, they spoke in a “how could you do this” kind of tone, in a reprimanding fashion. Chae Rina, who was there with me, also could say a word. Without being able to say a single thing that I had prepared, I had to come out of the station.

It seems that more time is needed for games to take their place as one of our society’s cultures. Because I liked games, I did not think that other people would have such hostility towards them. Even when a story about a game addict appeared on television news, I assumed that it was only half of the story. I did not know that there was still an adult generation that looked at the people that loved games as game addicts. There were even people that believed the purpose of progamer groups was to produce game addicts. Even when the middle school and high school students wrote that they wanted to become progamers in the future, they thought it was just a passing phenomenon. I thought that it was because the profession of a progamer was not well-known, and that they did not properly know the truth.

But the adults misunderstood becoming a progamer as becoming a game addict. I think the biggest reason why some youth become game addicts is because they do not receive attention from their parents. I think it is because the parents never know how their children are doing, and how they are living. If the child does not have many friends and is introverted, there is a higher chance that one will fall into game addiction. It is because one can find many friends through the Internet. Those that normally don’t talk much can find online games more appealing, where they can communicate without letting themselves be known. They can say all that they wish to say, and so falling into game addiction can be an easy thing. It is more important for these children to make something that they can share with the parents. If games are a way for the parents and children to communicate, then I feel that they can naturally narrow the generation gap. If they talk to the parents about games, then they will not become game addicts. If instead the parents do not give their children their attention, the children will look for attention and go where they can make friends. If they converse while playing games, increase the time spent together, and build up their self-control by playing games during allotted times, according to the rules that they created together, there will not be any game addicts. But still the parents are too busy blaming others. They raise their voices, saying, ‘Our child is good, but because the game is violent, our child is being spoiled.’ And their blames also include progamers.

The biggest reason why I picked my job as a progamer was that I could earn a living while doing what I liked. But game addicts are those that throw away everything they have and can do nothing else because of the game they love. Anyone can briefly experience the feeling of addiction. It could be gaming, smoking or alcohol, playing baduk, or music. The adults today think that if one falls into playing baduk, it is very adult-like. But if one falls into gaming, they think that it is only playing mindlessly.

There is no need to force the generation that does not know games or does not have any interest in games. Our parents’ generation think that games are just entertainment for people that have nothing better to do. But after ten, twenty years, when the generation of parents in their 20s and 30s arrive, they will not directly think of their children playing games as being negative. They, too, had a time when they liked to play games, and understand that happiness.

Still, games have not found their place as one of our society’s cultures, and are not treated properly. More time is needed. To decrease that time period, I feel that more effort is needed to spread the word about games in broadcasts and in writing, and popularize the games and make them more common. When that happens, not only will the game industries improve, but the progamers will be able to play games in better conditions.

I believe that when the fans of progamers grow up and become part of the mainstream society, the negative thoughts towards games will disappear. And with a heart to see that day come quickly, I feel that all progamers, including myself, should be more active and make a greater effort. This is also a very important task given to us.


Chapter Five: I Will Not Stop


From where I stand presently, I do not know whether it is the period in which Lim Yo-Hwan has passed, as people say, or whether it is still the period of Lim Yo-Hwan that has not yet passed.

But, today as well as tomorrow, I will continue to play, I will analyze how to win, and I will practice again and again.
Until that day when my heart stops beating…

208 ∙ Let’s Not Regret After Losing


‘Let’s not regret after losing.’
This is my favorite motto after becoming a progamer. I have never cried because I was so happy after winning a game. No matter how big a tournament I won in, I was not once moved to tears. But I have cried after losing. The matches where I could keep myself from losing, the matches when I lost because of the surrounding environment, or because the setting did not function properly, or when one mistake was made during a match that I had practiced a lot for, I cried because I felt wronged. And each time I made up my mind. ‘Let’s not regret after losing.’

Every progamer has their own way of releasing their stress. When I lose a game and return to the living quarters, I start playing again. Not knowing how to drink properly and not being a smoker, all I have left are games. Coming back after losing, I play games all night long. In a situation where I feel angry and wronged, all that I can do is play as hard as I can. Only in that way will I be able to win next time. I practice harder so that I will not make a mistake ever again.

Just as I have many first-place trophies, I have many second-place trophies. People will probably remember the first-place trophies for a longer time, but to me they are an unforgettable proof of taking second-place.

Like all finals, the last fight to the finish seems like a learning experience. It seems like gaining experience so that I will not lose like that the next time. The learning experiences of having plenty of time so that the setting can be done beforehand, going to the tournament and controlling one’s condition on the day of the finals, rechecking the maps one more time, these experiences one by one decide the outcome in the finals. Receiving the second-place trophies, I was not satisfied by the matches from my perspective, but they were valuable experiences.

No matter how fast it may happen, regrets always come afterwards. Not practicing, heading towards the arena, and regretting about it is already a loss, whether the game is won or lost. It is because I cannot display a play that I am satisfied with. Though I try my best during every moment, moments of regrets will always come after. If I don’t even try my best, there will be even more moments of regret.
Life is like a book. The foolish will lay their head on it and enjoy the nap, but the wise will work hard to find the path from the book. If I spend the time given to me meaninglessly, my life will be a book filled entirely with regrets. What I will write in my life’s book will be what I choose.


211 ∙ Captain of a 200 Million Won Salary


At the end of 2003, the sponsor contract with Orion came to an end. Until we found another sponsor, there was a gap of time. I started to become restless. It was because I had no sponsor, and I played more losing games than winning games. My confidence had fallen, and whenever I saw an article such as ‘Lim Yo-Hwan’s stagnant record,’ I wanted to go hide somewhere. I waited for a sponsor that was more encouraging, and preoccupied myself with practice. Around the time when I was regaining my composure, the sponsor that I had been waiting for appeared. It was SK Telecom.

The sponsor contract with Orion was not with the entire team, but limited to only me. But now the situation had changed. The skill level of our team players had increased, and they had acquired the ability to sufficiently win individual championships. Now there was a need for a sponsor contract where it was not only for me but for the entire team. In the enterprise of becoming a sponsor, the players must return the effect for the amount invested. I was looking for a sponsor using the fact that I was the player with the largest number of fans, that I had a high influence in gaming, and that I was the most recognized among progamers as a representative figure. SK Telecom promised us the best treatment.

SK Telecom had a plan to create a new progaming team called T1. They were looking for a suitable team, and they came to support our team that did not have a sponsor.

From the side of SK Telecom, the reason why they counted on me, even though I had average results, was that I was thorough in selfmanagement as a professional. And besides the fact that I steadily kept at my record, it seemed that they highly valued the image of the ‘Emperor of Terran.’ Unlike the previous sponsor contract, SK Telecom requested an important role from me. It was to become the team captain. With the increasing number of team leagues, ‘Team First’ was becoming a significantly important strategy. It was that the captain had to set a good example to all the team members.

The Orion team was a team that I made by myself, but SK Telecom T1 was the result of all of our efforts. If the team members did not put in their effort, the best team of T1 could not have been founded. All of the team members now had a salary contract, so the sense of responsibility increased, and they helped each other during practice and more effort could be put in for the team matches.

As a captain, unlike before I was given a responsibility to not only concern myself with individual results, but with the results of the team. If the captain were to not practice and go out with friends, there was no way that the team members would follow my orders. I practiced more than my team members and did not go out. To fulfill the amount of practice that the coach assigned, I encouraged my juniors and took charge of practices.

I successfully established another contract with SK Telecom T1, with a salary in the hundred million wons. And it was the highest salary among the progamers, with 200 million won. It was a salary twice of what I had while I was in the Orion team. Everyone gave me an envious look, but I now had the pressure to produce a result of at least ten times of that amount. But that pressure turned to confidence, and it became an opportunity to take another step as a progamer.


214 ∙ 10th Starleague Entrance


The past results, the present state of mind, and the future potential that SK Telecom believed in. I could not let down the team that believed in me. Turning this future potential into a good result – that was what I had to show as a progamer. The first step was the Challenge League. It was my first Challenge League ever, and I was determined to make it my last.

Because I passed the Ongamenet Starleague preliminaries nine times, I had no experience in the Challenge League. But just because I had made it to the final selection nine times, there was no guarantee that I would enter it again. If I did not progress, the only way I could go was downhill. And so the Challenge League that was as hard as the Starleague preliminaries had begun. They were all skilled players that were not much different than the players that had passed the Starleague preliminaries. And so no one could guarantee an easy pass through the Challenge League. After going through all the difficulties, four players were at a tie, and there was a final round for the first place of the Challenge League. The final 3-rounds, 2-win matches had begun.

The opponent was the Zerg user Shin Jungmin Qoo)Max. Though I had prepared a lot, things did not unfold as I had intended, starting with the first game. While warming up my hands, I practiced a few games, but the mouse would not move as I wished. I was using a kind of mouse that only I was used to. To a progamer, the mouse is like a soldier’s rifle. If the weapon is worn out and does not fit well with the person, how can the battle be won? Whether it was because my amount of practice increased the past few days, the condition of my mouse rapidly worsened. The buttons and the ball were very worn down. On top of that, I did not have an extra mouse.

As the time for the match approached, I could do nothing but head to the arena with an uncomfortable feeling. My insecure
presentiments finally surfaced from the first match. The first match was an important stage in which I could not lose, but I ended up losing. The mouse did not respond properly and it was uncomfortable. Those that have not played the game will not understand the feeling of not being able to move the way one desires. The outcome of the match between progamers can be determined from minute differences. Because I lost even after bringing a perfect strategy and taking an advantageous position, the loss was an enormous shock.

I continued to hesitate right up to the moment the second game started. After losing the first game, I had to win no matter what, whether I was confident or not. I could not use another person’s mouse and could not delay the broadcasting time, and my heart began to burn until it was black. I had no way out. There was nothing I could do but enter the match and try my best.

The second game was a map that I was least confident on. I chose to use the initial rush strategy that had the highest win percentage during my practices. Because the mouse was in a bad condition, I came to a conclusion that if I took it towards a late game, I would be at a disadvantage. ‘If I don’t finish him off in the beginning, I will lose.’ With this one thought I devoted myself to the match. My strategy fell right into place, and I won the second match.

We were at a tie and at the third match, and there was no place to run. The only thought I had was to definitely win. With a build that I had prepared, I continuously attacked my opponent and finally took the victory. Though it was not a satisfying match, the results were good. By placing first in the Challenge League, I had received a direct ticket to enter the Starleague.

After failing to enter the Starleague preliminaries and winning the Challenge League was perhaps my most difficult period. At the time, people were saying, “Shouldn’t Lim Yo-Hwan retire now?” But I had not once considered retiring. The word ‘retirement’ had not once crossed my mind. But as those talks came from other people, I bit my lips. It already did not matter how many victories I had in the past, or whether I was the progamer with the best win percentage. What was important was winning the present tournament. Winning one game after another and regaining my confidence was my ultimate goal. I was still thirsty for victory. Quenching my thirst for victory was the only way to lift myself up once again.

Among the fun movies that I watched, there is a movie called ‘GO.’ There is a scene where the father and son stand facing each other. After stretching out his fist, he speaks. “Outside the circle is swarming with strong men. If you stay inside the circle it will be safe. Will you still do it?” The son’s answer was resolute. “I’m going to destroy all the enemies outside the circle.”

That was it- I like being outside the circle where it’s swarming with strong opponents, rather than being inside the circle where it is safe. There are opponents that I will destroy. As I dominate the opponents one by one, I sense a tingling feeling, the feeling that I am alive.


222 ∙ Strength of 500,000 Supporters


The title ‘Emperor of Terran’ is like a luck charm. It’s like the charm that the mothers give at every New Years’ for a good fortune and to ward off any misfortunes. I don’t believe in superstitions. But I did feel that there was something special about the nickname ‘Emperor of Terran’ that was given to me. Though I regularly practice over ten hours and my entire body feels like it will melt down, I hold myself up, thinking, ‘I should live up to the name.’ Even during games when I feel like I will lose, I suddenly receive a rush of strength when I hear, “Terran Emperor, fighting!” from the voices of my fans.

The nickname ‘Emperor of Terran’ is a driving force that makes me practice endlessly as a progamer, as well as being an ‘invisible charm’ that protects me from having insecurities of winning. Whether it is really an ‘invisible charm,’ the more my fans came, the stronger I felt and the higher my win percentage became.

A while ago, when I heard that the Daum Fan Café ‘Lim Yo-Hwan’s Dropship’ members passed the 500,000 mark, it was hard for me to get the feel of how big the number 500,000 really was. That many fans were watching me and cheering for me. If I did not have any fans, I would also not exist as the ‘Emperor of Terran.’ I received many things from them, but I could not do much for them. All I could do for them was to display amazing games.

When I construct strategies, I think about my fans. ‘If I go out with this strategy, will the fans like it?’ ‘I prepared so much, but what if I can’t show it properly in the match?’ I don’t want to just show myself winning, but how I can win brilliantly. And I thought the fans would also expect this from me.

‘Why does he do that?’ ‘His hand movements are strange.’ ‘Is there a hidden reason?’ Watching my plays, making them wonder, and when the last attack towards victory has finished, I want them to exclaim, ‘Oh! That’s what it was,’ as they taste the essence of a strategy mind game.

When my prepared strategy brilliantly catches the opponent unprepared, there is a sense of achievement that I feel, but it is the cheers from my fans that fill my heart. The person playing the game should not be the only one that is happy. The game must be played so that the person watching the game can enter the game together. That is the true significance of a strategy simulation game, and the way to gather fans at the gaming arena and in front of the television. If the fans could watch me playing and they each could have their individual ideas, then I could not be happier.

September 2004, my fans prepared a place to celebrate my 25th birthday. I had not been producing the results that my fans were expecting, and I was very apologetic. ‘What if the way they look at me is not like before? What if too few people show up…’ With a worried heart, I entered the birthday party, but I was once again greatly moved. The unchanging people that watched over me, whether I had won or lost, those that cheered for me- the fans had filled the place. As the birthday song echoed, the people came towards me one by one. They each gave me a single rose, with words of congratulations, encouraging words, and all of a sudden I felt warm inside. And without realizing it myself, I was brought to tears. I could not bear to show my tears, so I left the fans and had to run behind the stage.

I sometimes used to live without realizing that my fans existed. When the game was too difficult, when I showed myself losing, I tried hard to turn away from my fans. I scolded my foolish self. But my fans did not scold me. Instead of scolding me and asking what was wrong with me, they encouraged me, telling me to go for it. When I did well, they were not only happy for me, but when I was tired and worn out, they consoled me. The fans became my support. When my mind was scattered and I would shake, they helped me to stand firm. Because I have these fans, I am such a happy idiot.


226 ∙ Lim Yo-Hwan of Korea


After deciding to participate in the 2003 E3 show, I was quite restless on the plane that was headed for the United States. I was happy not only because I was attending the E3 show that all gamers aspired, but that I was especially invited by them, not as an ordinary spectator.

The recent game shows have had a trend of leaning towards console games. Because the game of Starcraft that I play was a game released in 1998, it almost appeared as a classic old game among the new games that would appear at the E3 show. How will I seem to them, a person that plays a game that is becoming forgotten? Before I stepped into the event hall, I became very nervous. As expected, the E3 game show scene was filled with console games.

I was anxiously preparing for the event while an American person approached me and said, “You look a lot like Boxer.” As Coach Joo Hoon responded, “He really is Boxer,” the man became excited, asking if I was really him. He had been thinking it was not likely that ‘Boxer’ would come. With an incredulous expression, he asked me several times if I was really ‘Boxer,’ and asked for an autograph. But it was I that could not believe there was someone that could recognize me, as I was not in Korea but in America, at the world’s greatest game show of E3. Still, I concluded that it was possible for some people to recognize me, because it was a place where people related to gaming gathered. However, the day when I visited Universal Studios before I left for Korea was truly unexpected.
I was having a great time among the different tourists. But then one Korean student that was studying abroad recognized me and asked for an autograph. As I gave him an autograph, the people around stared with an expression of, ‘Who is this person that he receives an autograph?’ But among those that stared at me, the words ‘Boxer’ was shouted out. And so I became not the star of the Korean broadcasting studios, but a star of the Universal Studios. It was a moment when I was truly surprised.

Especially in September 2004 during my visit to China, I felt that the popular Korean culture was not only limited to singers and actors. Starting with the fans that recognized me at the airport, there were fans wherever I went, following and asking me for an autograph. They say that the land of China is 96 times bigger than Korea. In such a vast country, they say that certain news cannot be known in full detail, but I wondered how big such news of the gamer Lim Yo-Hwan that came from Korea would be. There was one father and son that traveled for three nights and four days just to see me. I was so surprised that they had traveled such a distance just to see me. There was even a fan that made a ceramic jar for me, and there were reporters that were determined to receive an autograph after the coverage. There were many people that uncontrollably swarmed to come closer to me.

They say that there are many gamers around the world that subscribe to the Korean gaming broadcasts. Through them, they came to know my game id of ‘Slayers_BoxeR,’ and they say there are many gamers that selectively watch only my matches. The enthusiasm that I experienced in China gave me a new hope that I could be acknowledged as a gamer anywhere around the world.

I had never forgotten my dream of wanting to become a player around the world, not just in Korea. I realized that dream at the World Cyber Games. I entered it twice and took the championship both times, and was able to meet many foreign gamers. There was something that the players at the World Cyber Games publicly spoke about.

“I can lose to other players, if only I could beat Boxer…”
I had become a public enemy among all the players around the world. There were players that had arrived just to beat me, and they carefully watched me whenever I played a match. And though we faced each other as gamers, they asked me for an autograph. There were especially many players that asked me to play just one game against them. There were official matches that I had to play every day, so I could not accept all of their requests.

The expression that they used most frequently for me was ‘legend.’ “Are you the legendary Boxer?” was the question they asked the most. From the friends that said it was an honor just to meet me, to the gamers that lined up to receive an autograph on the last day of the World Cyber Games, the words of ‘legendary Boxer’ that I heard was the most thrilling moment during my life as a progamer.

It was a very different feeling than the ‘Emperor of Terran’ that I heard most frequently within the country. Those at the World Cyber Games were gamers and participants just like me, but the fact that they called me a ‘legend’ meant that they had a certain level of respect for me. Though I thought it could possibly be an excessive compliment coming from indignation, I was happy. I was not just a frog in a pond, and was happy that the gamers from around the world acknowledged Korean gamers. I was glad that I had become a professional gamer. And like that, I had changed from a Korean gamer idol to a world gamer ‘legend.’


Chapter Six: Dreaming of a Progamer in His 30s


I shall be telling this with a sigh,
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

— From Frost’s ‘The Road Not Taken’

I had resolved to take the path that none had taken. With all the endurance and passion until now that fought the prejudice against games,
I will be walking down the path of a progamer in his 30s that none has walked before.

232 ∙ There Is No Shortcut


One day I happened to see a photograph of the feet of the ballerina Kang Soojin. I was astonished by her feet that expressed such fluent beauty on the stage. The hardened skin of her toes was an strange sight. She had been dancing again and again until her toes were in that condition. Though her toes swelled and bled, she must have endured the pain and practiced again. The tedious repetitions, only through the bloody repetitions was she able to become a world-class ballerina.

I looked at my hands. I was embarrassed by my fingers that looked so comfortable. ‘Yeah, until my fingers cannot move, until I cannot move my wrist, I will practice.’ They said that when the French artist Renoir could no longer move his fingers, he strapped the brush to his hand and continued to draw. I sat again in front of the computer. I made up my mind to practice until my fingers became unsightly.

As our team approached the MBCGame Team League in the fall of 2003, we were at a critical moment. As the renewal contract with Orion failed, our team needed a new sponsor. We had to definitely win. Luckily, our team was able to enter the finals and all that was left was to bring back the championship trophy. The coach assigned each player a number of games, and we began to practice. Whether it was because my results were poor or whether he thought I was lazy, he assigned me the most number of games. It was a number that I could not fulfill within a day. But as a captain, if I could not follow through in this difficult situation, there was no way that my juniors would follow.

I began to practice. After 12 hours passed, my entire body began to grow stiff. After 20 hours passed, my mind was in a daze and sleep pressed in on me. After 24 hours passed, I could not move my fingers. I was only mechanically moving my fingers and I could not sense anything. It was after 30 hours that I fulfilled the number of games that my coach assigned me. I had not slept and had been practicing for 30 hours. My wrists could move no longer. And like that, I collapsed and fell into a deep sleep.

In the end, we were able to win. It was the result of the enormous number of hours that we had practiced, not just myself.
Every now and then, there are those that desire to become professional gamers because they like games. I ask that they would think about it one more time. I would suggest that they do not make what they like into a job. Of course, I chose because I liked games. But there were just as many things that I had to give up.

There comes a moment when a progamer must play, even when he does not want to. If I liked games just as a hobby, I would not have been able to endure the life of a progamer. Gaming is everything to a professional gamer. It is a hobby as well as a duty. Gaming for a progamer is like laboring. When they play, they must play games, and when they rest, they must play games. And if they are a part of a team, they cannot freely go outside. They must be prepared to give up a certain portion of their personal life. There were many times when I wanted to watch movies, go out for a drink, and spend a comfortable time like other friends of my age. I am a person too, and games are not all that is fun in the world.

But if one is a progamer, the most fun thing in the world must be games, and the only thing that is fun must be games. If one cannot endure that, then there will be a day when he is filled with thoughts of wanting to play, with ‘But I want to do this…I want to do that…’ In the end, he will not want to play games and will not be able to practice properly. There will be a moment of realization that he cannot hold on to both horses that are running in the same direction. I also wanted to play and hold onto the seat of the ‘Emperor.’ I had been forgetting that I could not have both. I had to pick one side. But if I have to choose, my answer is certain. The life as a professional gamer, that is my everything.

The reason for falling into a slump is careless practice. The way to get out of a slump is to practice. I started again from the beginning. I must return to the time when I played with my own style, and when I determined the victory through strategies. And the strategies are a product of practicing more than anyone else. The key to success is to persevere through practice.

The person that looks for a shortcut is not a true professional. There is no shortcut to becoming the greatest progamer.

236 ∙ The Challenge Continues


“The path of a man that pioneers into a new field during his youth is very important. The juniors that will come later will then be able to follow in your footsteps. If you leave without cleaning up, how then can the juniors find their way on the path that you have taken?”

This is something that I heard quite frequently from President Kim Yang-joong that I worked with, as I had just started my life as a progamer. It is something that I have not once forgotten, even now, and have kept the words close to my heart. It is because of these words that I was always careful of my actions. Though I am not typically the type that causes big problems, I was careful not to make any mistakes so that I was not a bad influence to others, and that others could not make a sweeping criticism about progamers. If I were to go in public and act in a wrong way, they could dismiss that as “Yeah, they are like that. Is there anything special about progamers?” so I was even stricter with myself. If I acted even a bit strangely, from the perspective of a person that does not know my life, he could have a bias towards the professional career that I am associated with. As those thoughts became more severe, my time spent outside slowly decreased, and if it was at all possible, I ended up not going outside. At one point I wondered whether I had sociophobia, as I became considerably more wary of people. Though even now I have not changed from the basic mindset, I became a little more comfortable with it. Aside from gaming, I came to realize that meeting people was also one part of my life.

One of the important reasons I play is to present an exciting match to the fans. That was why I became more motivated when my fans came in person at the gaming arena and encouraged me with cheer posters. ‘I’m not fighting by myself. I am only representing everyone when I go up on the stage.’ At times I think that I am playing the game in place of my fans. I am thankful for the times when I had arrived at the arena without having eaten anything, only to find that my fans had prepared a lunch box for me. I am also thankful of their encouragements when I lost, and their cheers when I won. There were, of course, times when the fans felt like a burden to me. The expectations of the fans are so high, and when the thoughts come to mind that I cannot fulfill those expectations, I was at times afraid of facing my fans.

But as a progamer, that is a burden I must carry. To be honest, within that fear regarding my fans was a fear of the outcome of the match. Before I was only fixed on the outcome of the match, and ignored everything else. Before I thought there was nothing more important in my life than winning the match. But now, rather than saying that gaming is everything in my life, I say that the most important part of my life is gaming.

Someone once asked me what I am going to do now, now that I had “accomplished almost everything” as a progamer. I responded, “There are still many things I have to accomplish. This is now the beginning.“ I think that as a progamer, I have now come about half of the way. But from the perspective of being part of the game, I have merely started. I feel that only after accomplishing the dream of being a ’30s progamer’ that I had always promised to my fans, I will be able to think of other things. Later on, I would like to commentate for games, raise progamers, and become a trainer or a coach of a gaming team. And after having experienced all that is in gaming, my goal is to make a game of my own.

I feel that when you are young, you do what you can when you are young, and when you are older, you do what you can when you are older. There is no need to stop experiencing all you can when you are young, and there is no need to hurry up with the things you can do when you are older.

I want to first achieve that goal of becoming the ‘30s progamer.’ I feel that it is something that someone must do. Only then will people consider progaming as a job that does not just shine at one point and disappear. Whether it is being a baseball player or a soccer player, is it not true that they can play until they are in their 30s or 40s? If I have the energy to keep going, I wish to be a progamer as long as I am able.

My age of 25 years, and 6 years as a progamer. I start again. When looking at my whole life’s plans, my life has now just entered its gaming period. The curtains are being raised, as my gaming life has matured and has now appeared on stage.


Translator’s Notes


First of all, I am not a professional translator. However, I do have enough knowledge of Starcraft and the progaming world that at times helped me throughout the process of translating the book, such as dealing with technical information, or trying to accurately describe the atmosphere of Korean progaming culture. There are, obviously, cultural differences that at times I had difficulty describing. Saying something in one language might imply something else in another language. If the readers find something that sounds awkward or does not sound completely right, or if something seems to have been expressed incorrectly in the English language, please understand that it was my attempt to provide the western interpretation, while still preserving some Korean meanings literally in hopes that the readers might have a deeper understanding of the author’s words. There were times when I had to decide either translating the text completely into western terms and losing some Korean meaning, or keeping it almost completely literal and staying close to the Korean literal meaning, while sounding a bit strange from perspective of the English language.

There were also places where I did not put question marks where it would seem to be appropriate. In Korean prose, certain questions are not put at times when they express their thoughts or emotions. There is a very subtle difference – perhaps it can be viewed as asking a rhetorical question. Sometimes the authors do put a question mark, perhaps to emphasize the question. There are also idioms where I tried to express it as accurately as possible with the western version. In addition, if the readers find that the text sometimes sounds very “oriental,” in a somewhat mystical, eastern-culture sense, please understand that the structure of the Korean language naturally is very illustrative at times, and that the language is perceived as being used normally, and not as though everyone spoke as literary poets of the 13th century.
There were several short intermittent breaks throughout the book describing some of Lim Yo-Hwan's Starcraft matches, with colored photos and screenshots of the match. I did not translate these, partly due to my laziness, but also partly because they were not written by the author, but by a e-sports writer. The author of the book also did not refer to the Starcraft players by their gaming alias, as I had translated for the readers’ convenience, but just their actual Korean names. In that sense, it is important for the readers to remember that he spoke of the progamers with a respectful tone, as though he spoke of a colleague or a well-known figure. Lastly, the literal translation of the book’s title would be, “Try to be as crazy as me,” but with a slightly stronger, challenging tone, encouraging the youth of this generation to be passionate about whatever it is that they are doing.

Besides the technical things relating to the translation of the book, there are several things to consider when reading this autobiography. The book was written almost five years ago, in 2004. The biography ends with his entrance to the Starleague after having fallen all the way down to the preliminaries and having made his way through the Challenge League, almost like a rookie. Numerous significant things have happened since then: the highly controversial match against his rival, Yellow, the 'Storm Zerg' in the semifinals of the EVER Starleague in 2004; the unforgettable EVER Starleague finals against his student iloveoov; his amazing return in the So1 Starleague during the time of the Three Neo Protoss when almost all Terrans were eliminated; his incredible reversal during the So1 Starleague semifinals; his entrance to the So1 Starleague finals as he faced his 100th win and third Starleague title; his rebirth that was followed by an unbelievable number of consecutive wins that was cut short just before the semifinals of the following Starleague; his heartbreaking entrance to the military where he created a way for progamers to continue on after their mandatory military service; his astounding and thoughtprovoking matches during the Proleague, even with his limited practice time in the military; and his return to the progaming world in the team SK Telecom T1. He has indeed achieved that dream of becoming a progamer in his 30s, as well as allowing a way for others to follow his footsteps. Whatever dream he tries to achieve next, he is already a living legend, and his legacy lives on not only in other progamers, but everyone that has come to know him.


— Marencielo