Not a member of Pastebin yet?
Sign Up,
it unlocks many cool features!
- 1_What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer? I give a fuck when my computer crashes.
- 2_My Grandpa said, "Your generation relies too much on technology!" I replied, "No, your generation relies too much on technology!" Then I unplugged his life support.
- 3_What do you call a five year old with no friends? A sandy hook survivor.
- 4_Jesus Christ fed 2,000 people with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish, but Adolf Hitler made 6 million Jews toast.
- 5_What's the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl? You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.
- 6_What's got 5 arms, 3 legs and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
- 7_What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? GLOVES! Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.
- 8_How do Ethiopians celebrate their kids first birthday? By putting flowers on the grave.
- 9_How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her? She found another woman's lipstick on his knuckles.
- 10_How can you tell if your wife is dead? The sex is the same but the dishes start piling up.
- 11_Why do Mexicans never have Sex Ed. and Driver's Ed. on the same day? They have to give the donkey a break at some point.
- 12_Feminism
- 13_So I suggested to my wife that she'd look sexier with her hair back… Which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient.
- 14_Most black 15 year-olds in this country are decent, law abiding citizens. It's their kids who cause all the trouble.
- 15_How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Don't be stupid, feminists can't change anything.
- 16_What is a pedophiles favorite part about Halloween? Free delivery.
- 17_So I painted my laptop black, hoping it would run faster… Now it doesn't work.
- 18_How do you kill a redneck? Wait 'till he fucks his sister then cut the brakes on his house.
- 19_What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer? Freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
- 20_What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing you already done told her twice.
- 21_How do you fit 4 queers on a barstool? Flip it upside-down.
- 22_Why do Jews have big noses? Because air is free.
- 23_What happened when the jew walked into the wall with a hard-on? He broke his nose.
- 24_How long does it take for a black woman to take a shit? Nine months.
- 25_How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up like an altarboy.
- 26_What do you call 40 mexicans buried up to their neck in sand? A spicket fence.
- 27_How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None,they just sit in the dark and bitch.
- 28_Did you hear about the two car pile up in Mexico? 200 Mexicans died.
- 29_What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A pedophile.
- 30_What's a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game? Before the First Period.
- 31_How do you swat 200 flies at one time? Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.
- 32_What is a redneck virgin? A seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.
- 33_How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? One, she just holds the bulb to the socket and waits for the world to revolve around her.
- 34_Girls are like blackjack… I'm trying to go for 21 but I always hit on 14.
- 35_Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? Because he can't do stand up.
- 36_Did you hear the Score of the Egypt vs Ethiopia soccer game? Egypt 8, Ethiopia didn't.
- 37_How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? They don't. They arrest the bulb for being broke and beat the room for being black.
- 38_What's 9 inches long, pink, and makes my girlfriend scream when I put it in her mouth? Her miscarriage.
- 39_A Jew, a black, and a Muslim are on a frozen lake, not talking to each other, so I thought I would go over there and break the ice.
- 40_What's difference between dollars and Jews? I'd give a shit if I lost 6 million dollars.
- 41_How does a black woman know she is pregnant? When she pulls her tampon out the cotton is already picked.
- 42_Whats the difference between George Zimmerman and Trayvon Martin? Zimmerman knew how to dodge a bullet.
- 43_One time I fucked this chick so hard, she almost came back to life
- 44_I don't understand why Obama has to give his speeches behind bullet proof glass. I mean,I know he's black and all, but I doubt he'll shoot anyone.
- 45_What's the difference between a Jew and harry potter? Harry can escape the chamber.
- 46_What do you call a woman who thinks she can do anything a man can do? Wrong.
- 47_Whats the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player? A hockey player showers after 3 periods.
- 48_What's the difference between cancer and Black people? Cancer got Jobs.
- 49_What do Sarah Palin and Iron Man have in common? They both had a downey jr inside of them.
- 50_What's a word that white people can call white people, but black people can't call black people? Dad.
Add Comment
Please, Sign In to add comment