Grumpy old fuck part 2

>You are Anon
>Or as most ponies in this realm call you, 'Grumpy Old Fool'.
>Still old enough to be dirt's crib mate.
>Fluttershy has recently sent your mind reeling.
>Some fetish nonsense.
>Now you're flattered that she wants to find out your fetish.
>But it's pointless to do such a thing.
>Who goes around asking the elderly what their fetish is?
>Younguns be crazy.
>Currently, you're sitting on your trusty rocking chair enjoying some good ol' fashion lemonade you just made.
>You've made a batch of it so it'll be around for a while
>You watch the sun set and ponies of this world deal with daily darn digget dickery.
>You're old enough to have proof read the 10 commandments, you can make up words if you damn well please.
>Fuck spellcheck, that little know-it-all whore who's trying to correct everyone's name.
>Speaking of know it all, here comes that purple pony that never shuts up when she's on about something.
>But she's book smart though, thanks to her, her generation isn't a total lost.
>She seems upset about something.
>"Good afternoon Mr.Unknown."
"You don't have be so formal, call me Anon."
>"Oh alright, Anon, I'm here to inform you that you're late with returning a book you checked out not too long ago."
>Oh great, now she's got her crazy eyes going again.
>Time to play the old and crazy age card.

>You take a sip of your lovely lemonade.
>You give her a confused look.
"Book? What are ya on about missy?"
>"Oh you know the book that-"
"Who are you? Why are you on my porch?!"
>"I-I'm Twilight Sparkle, here to inform you, you're late on returning a book."
"Bah! I haven't looked at a book in ages! Now you're coming to me with foolish fairytales?!"
>But, but-"
"Trying to get some bits outta me aren't ya?!"
>"Well, no, I'm just-"
"You see that's what's wrong with your generation, always trying to scam folks outta hard earned money."
>"That's not true!"
"Horse radish! Here you are trying to get a late fee outta me for some book I never checked out!"
>"If you could just-"
"Look at ya! Managing rusty dusty old books that no one cares about, all you do sit on your lazy flank and read boring shit. When was the last time you did some honest hard work?"
>"Well all the ti-"
"I'll tell ya something else, you should be more like oh what's her name? Appa Jak? I think that's it, now that's a hard workin' pony."
>"But she-"
"And I'll tell ya something else! She doesn't go around causing a concoction of chaos over a completely useless crock of a cook book."
>"UGH! I give up! KEEP THE BUCKING BOOK!"
"What book missy?"
>"Never mind."
>Twilight storms off your porch with steam blowing out of her ears.

>"Grumpy old fool." She said under her breath.
"And stop cussing! Act like a lady! If ya come around again with that language, I'll get my belt!"
>"UGH! You're crazy!"
>Now that's how you do it.
>Huh, you never thought being old would be this fun.
>And you get to keep a cook book that has some good dishes and recipes.
>Now it's yours with no charge to you.
>Poor purple pony, you in fact, actually like her as a person.
>You hope upsetting won't make her go off into the deep end.
>She's so smart.
>You'll give her a break the next time she visits.
>Offering her a nice glass of lemonade.
>You just hope she can keep her klutzy side to herself.
>Spilling chocolate milk all over your table, that rustled your jimmies something fierce.
>The sun sets and the moon is rising high in the sky, you figured it's time to get some sleep.
>Today was somewhat fun.
>Poor Twilight.
>You walk into your house and headed to your bedroom for some much need rest.
>You crawl into bed and close your eyes and let your aged mind drift into peaceful sleep.
>Lets just hope tomorrow won't be filled with crazy foolishness.

>You wake up in your bed and check the clock.
>6:30 am.
>Nailed it.
>You wake up at 6:30 am on the dot every morning.
>Except weekends you wake up about 5am.
>Because fuck logic, you'll bend it over on your knee and give a good whoopin'.
>Thinking it can keep everyone in line.
>How funny.
>You do your old man shuffling to your bathroom.
>Perform the sacred morning ritual since before Quaker oats were ever thought up.
>Shit, shave and shower.
>You're old you do what you want.
>People and ponies will just chalk it up to you being old and crazy.
>Damn, best excuse ever.
>You finish your mornin' ritual, you put on the same clothes you had on yesterday.
>Walk into the kitchen to make a nice morning treat you've been hooked on since you was a kid.
>French vanilla coffee ice cream float.
>You reach into your freezer and grab the french vanilla flavor ice cream.
>You place it on the counter and prepare some french vanilla coffee.
>You grab some french vanilla cream and pure sugarcane crystal sugar.
>French 'nilla all day.

>Once you gathered the ingredients, it was time to put the puzzle pieces in place.
>Your coffee is ready.
>The ice cream ready for it's hot lava dip into the juice of the mean bitter bean.
>Sugar and cream stirred to perfection in the cup of coffee.
>It took forever and 30 years to get the blend just right.
>You slip in the scoop of ice cream into the cup of coffee.
>You watch as you stir the scoop of ice cream into the cup and watch it melt and blend in.
>Your morning sweet treat is complete.
"My body is ready."
>You pick up the cup of coffee of genius engineering that has been past down from God to you.
>You bring it to your lips awaiting it's lovely taste.
>"Good morning Anon!"
"AAAAHHHH!"
>From you being startled to death, you drop your cup of coffee that contains the sexiest flavor known to mankind.
>It shatters on the floor.
>A single tear drops down your face.
>You watch as your morning delight splashes around on the ground.
>What a horrible waste.
>You only have one thing to ask.
>Who is the blame for this?

>You turn around and see Fluttershy is there with a smile on her face.
>She shouldn't be smiling.
"YOU! What did I tell you about knocking?!"
>"S-sorry mister."
"How many times do I have to tell you, you can't just break into people's houses!"
>"I'm s-sorry."
"Ya damn right you're sorry! Now clean this mess up!"
>"Y-yes sir."
"Do your parents know you're a cat burglar?!"
>"I'm a pega-"
"I don't give two scoops of a hoot! Clean up this mess you caused."
>She grabs a few paper towels and a broom.
"It better be spotless when you're done!"
>"I'll do my best."
"That's what I like to hear."
>Well, your day is ruined.
>What did you do to deserve this?
>Wait, it's probably better to ask what didn't you do to deserve this.
>You lean back on your kitchen chair.
>Trying to calm down, it's not healthy to be all riled up.

>You grab a glass cup from the cabinet and make your way to the fridge.
>Time for that delicious batch of lemonade.
>You made enough to last you about 3 more days.
>You go back to your chair and pour yourself a nice tall glass of lemonade.
>Gotta take the load off here.
>It's a shame the thorn in your side is in your presence.
>Fucking Fluttershy.
>After a few minutes Fluttershy finishes cleaning up the mess.
"Now, good morning to you, why in the pastel hell are you up so early?"
>"To pay you a visit."
"Why?"
>"To guess your fetish."
"Alright look here, horny yellow mellow pony, I'm way too old for you, sorry not interested."
>She turns around presenting her nicely shaped flank.
>Well, for a pony, she's got a nice flank.
>You're well set in your ways, you can't just go around fucking horses.
>She begins shaking and gyrating about, attempting to hypnotize you.
"What are you doing?"
>"Are you a flank or teats kinda guy? I'm guessing flank."
>Wait, did she really just ask you that?
"I'm not interested in ponies. Now be gone."
>"Oh come on you know you wanna spank it."

>You do, but not for the same reason.
>There are ponies that get off to getting a whoopin'?
>What is this world coming to?
>Looks like you're gonna have to find a new method for punishing foolish fillies.
>"Come ooon, you know you like it mister." She said as she keeps gyrating her flank in the air.
>Kinda reminds you of all those stanky ghetto booty buhfoolishness they call 'music videos' back on earth.
>Is there no escape from that?
>You just hope no one here catches onto that idea.
>You slowly walk over to Fluttershy with anger in your eyes.
"No! Now get outta here!"
>"EEP!"
>She dashes out of your house like a bat outta hell.
>Well, she can fly so the analogy isn't too far off.

>That was one way to start the morning.
>You shake your fist in the air looking up.
"You think this is funny don't cha? I'ma slug ya good one when I get up there!"
>Suddenly, lightning strikes next to your kitchen window.
>Ooookay, note to self: Don't piss off the man upstairs.
>You guess he monitors every universe.
>You shake off the little warning and go check the mail.
>Needless to say, you haven't checked for about 4 days.
>You walk out in your front lawn and head straight for the mailbox.
>Once you opened your mailbox, envelopes come out of the wood works.
>You gather all the mail and walk back inside.
>You go through all the mail.
>Something about Pinkie's party coming up this weekend and you're invited.
>Late fee notices from the library.
>Yadda yadda yadda.
>You then come across a letter from Sweet Apple Acres.
>From one of your dearest friends since you've been here.
>Granny Smith.
>The two of you enjoy the elderly life.
>No one or pony can tell the both of you what to do.
>Seniority over all the towns folk.
>Hell, you have seniority over death.

>You died once and death was begging you to take his job claiming he's not worthy to reap your soul.
>You simply declined and quit being dead.
>Yup, that's how it works for you.
>You open the letter from Granny Smith.
>The letter read:

"Dear old friend,

Hello there partner! It's been a while since Ah heard from ya.
You didn't go kick the bucket did ya?
Ah'm just pulling your tail.
Anyways Ah just wanted to let ya know that the apple season is in it's prime and to come on down!
The Apple Family misses ya, we've got a nice present for ya for being our favorite old customer over the years.
Why don't ya drop on by and say hello to the younguns?
Applebloom won't shut up about ya, it's the darnest cutest thing Ah ever did see.
Ah hope Ah see you soon fella.

Sincerely,

Granny Smith"

>Well that's really nice of her.
>Sweet old lady.
>She even writes how she talks.
>That's funny.
>You chuckle a little bit.
>How long ago was this sent?
>Wouldn't it be faster if she just visited you?
>You guess they're really busy, so that makes sense.
>Looks like you're visiting Sweet Apple Acres today.
>Well, your trusty rocking chair on the porch will have to wait.
>You know they should be up by now, them being lively country folk and all.
>A little visit wouldn't hurt.
>Another hour consisted of checking the mail and reading yesterday's newspaper.
>Same ol' same ol'.
>A knock at the door occurs.
>You groan and make your way to the door.
>Once you open the door, your eyes are met with Fluttershy in a french maid outfit and duster in her mouth.
>Oh great now what?
"What is it now you yellow spineless bat?"
>"Oh I was just thinking that you really like to keep a clean house."
"Just like everyone else, so?"
>"I was just wandering if having a maid in a sexy outfit clean your house would be your fetish?"
>facepalm.jpg

"Oh for the love of... No it's not."
>Her eyes tear up and her ears droop downward.
"Stop pouting, since you're in that outfit you might as well make yourself useful."
>"Really?!"
"Yes, I'm too old to be cleaning and I've got someplace to be."
>"Yay!"
>She starts dancing in place with excitement.
"Stop that childish nonsense."
>She stops and stays in place with a smile on her face.
"Now, I trust there won't be any tigget pahootiny while I'm gone?"
>"I promise, no tigget pa-whatever it is."
"PAHOOTINY! Puh Who Tin Knee! Say it!"
>"No tigget pahootiny, I promise."
"Good, crazy yellow bat, start at the bathroom and then clean anything that needs cleaning."
>"Yes sir."
"And I don't want to see a spec of dust on my bookshelf!"
>You point to your bookshelf that only has one book, which would be the book you basically stole from the library.
>Being old is so much fun.
>"You got it mister."
>You allow Fluttershy passage into your home, as she does so she brushes the side of her flank onto your crotch area.
"Flutters, don't make me send you to a corner for ten minutes."
>"EEP!" She said in panic.
>Well that did it. You've found a way to punish Fluttershy without turning her on.
>Fucking Fluttershy.

>Fluttershy gets started with her duty.
>You grab your fancy schmancy coat, keys and wallet and begin your journey to Sweet Apple Acres.
>It looks a little nippy outside.
>Better keep your head warm.
>You grab your red fez and put it on your head.
>Fezzes are cool.
>The journey to Sweet Apple Acres is going to be long, but it'll be worth it.
>Those classic apple pies.
>The classic apple cider that can knock you on your ass.
>The Apple Family really see you as another family member.
>All the good times you shared with that family.
>It'll all be worth the walk.
>You take look at your trusty immortal wrist watch.
>Half past 7.
>You're making good time here.
>Your thoughts float about as you make your way to the kindest country folk in town.
>Fluttershy has really got to stop her nonsense.
>French maid outfit? Really? A fetish?
>Ponies get turned on by everything these days.

>You're glad you got all that horny-fuck-anything-with-a-working-vagina foolishness out of your system.
>You're not gonna lie, you got along famously with the ladies back in your day.
>You could go from a lovely lady tossing a drink in your face to her screaming your name in pleasure in a nearby restroom in 5 minutes.
>Some of your friends started calling you 'Dan The Ladies Man'.
>You have no idea how you got that name.
>Your name isn't even Dan.
>That's the only mystery in your life you've encountered and remained unsolved.
>Before you know it, you're spitting distance from Sweet Apple Acres.
>Sunny D Celly has finally got the sun up.
>She's slacking off a bit today.
>You chuckle to yourself.
"Looks like your age is taking it's toll huh?"
>As if she heard you somehow, the sun beams a strong light directly to your eyes.
>Nearly going blind from, forcing your to squint and block the beam of light with your hand.
"Damn Celly can't you take a joke?"

>You make your way to the house of The Apples Family.
>You knock on the torn up screen door.
>"Applejack be a dear and answer the door for sweet old Granny Smith would ya?"
>"Sure thing Granny."
>Applejack answers the door.
>"Well Ah'll be darn! Granny your ol' friend is here!"
>"Oh that grumpy old fool? Lemme make it to the door, Ah wanna see his wrinkly face." She said as she chuckled.
>Granny Smith walks to the door.
>"Oh Ah can't believe my eyes! How ya doing ya doin' there fella?"
"I'm doing just fine, I just checked the mail and got your letter and here I am."
>"Oh that's wonderful, why don't ya come on in and take a load off."
"You got it."
>You enter their home and are met with a sweet apple cinnamon flavor.
>God, you love that smell.
>You make your way to the couch in the living room and make yourself comfortable.
>Granny Smith has a seat in her trusty in-doors rocking chair.
>"Ah'm certainly glad ya stopped by, we've got you a present that you're gonna love."

"Please, do tell what you all have in mind."
>She cackles and chuckles.
>"Well, from you being a very valued customer over the many years you've been here, we'd like to give you a lifetime supply of apple pies and apple fritters..."
"Oh wow."
>"... And also a months worth of our finest apple cider."
>Your jaw drops from hearing such news.
>Great God Almighty.
>Free apple pies and fritters for life and a months worth of apple cider?!
>Hell. Yes.
"Are you serious?"
>"Of course she is Anon, you're practically family to us." Applejack chimed in.
>Alltheyes.jpg
>Suddenly, you hear pitter-patter coming down the stairs.
>"Anon!"
>It's Applebloom.
>The cutest filly you ever saw.
>She runs over to you and hops on your lap, wrapping her forearms around you neck for a hug.
>"Ah've missed ya so much mister!"
>She's got the cutest bow on her head.
>Just simply adorable.
"I've missed ya too, you haven't been giving anyone a tough time have you?"
>"Nope." She said as she smiled.

>"Well, other than that little cutie mark fiasco not too long ago." Applejack said as she laughed.
"Wait, were you the little filly with more than one cutie mark?"
>Applebloom chuckles nervously "Heh heh sorta, yeah."
>You decide to save the lecture for another day.
>"Welp, since everyp0ny is here, lets have some breakfast." Granny Smith said.
"Sounds good to me."
>"Wait, Granny Smith, what about Big Mac?" Applejack asked.
>"He decided to get started on work early, Ah'll make sure he gets a good meal when he gets back don't worry about em'."
>After a few minutes of waiting, the food was ready and the table is set.
>You all gather around the table and get comfortable.
>Sweet apple pies and apple juice being passed around left and right.
>So much food.
>This was indeed a country family.
>As you all eat and enjoy each others company, you tell your ancient stories about way back when.
>Stories of the people you met in your eternal lifetime it seems.
>A few in particular you do recall that stood out, one of them really had a thing for fish-sticks and custard, and insisted bow ties are cool.
>There were eleven of them if your memory serves you well.
>All calling themselves the same name.
>'The Doctor'.
>What was weird is that all through your life, some young and some old were going by that name.
>Some even popped up 20 years later and looked the exact same. That was just creepy.

>After you and the apple family had a lovely breakfast, it was time for them to get to business.
>"Alright lil' sis, it's time for school."
>"Awww but I wanna hear more stories Anon has and these doctors Anon talks about have got my attention, are you tellin' the truth, Anon?"
"Yes Applebloom, I wouldn't tell a fib to a filly. Now run along and learn something today ok?"
>"You got it mister!"
>Applebloom goes on her trots out of the house with Applejack.
>You and Granny Smith clean up the table and clean up the dishes.
>It's courtesy to you to do something like that in someone else's house.
>"Ah'll have Applejack and Applbloom deliver the apple pies, fritters and cider later today alright old timer?
"Look forward to it."
>"So ya headed back home fella?"
"Yeah, I got Fluttershy cleaning my place and I don't know what she's REALLY doing."
>"Give her da belt, that'll set her straight if she acts up."
"That won't work with her, she gets turned on by it."
>"Are ya serious?"
"Yes."
>"Younguns be crazy."
"I know right? Welp, I'll see ya around."
>"Alright now, don't go and kick the bucket anytime soon."
"I could say the same to you."

>You thank Granny Smith for the meal and mosey on down the road.
>Your walk back didn't seem so long.
>Time to check the trusty watch.
>About half past 9.
>You walk into your home and met with a sweet smell of lemon.
>You take a gander of your home and it's sparkling clean.
>Hmmm, you just might have her do this once a month.
>You make your way to your bedroom.
>Before you open the door you hear moaning and a buzzing sound.
>"Mmmm~ Anon!"
>You fling the door open to see what sins of the flesh are taking place in your dwelling.
>Fluttershy in her ruffled up french maid outfit and legs spread wider than the grand canyon.
>Pleasuring herself with a dildo, getting your bed-sheets wet in the process.
"What in the name of biscuits and gravy?!"
>"AAAAH!~"
>She squirts pretty damn hard.
>Her juices fly across the room some headed toward your face.
>Somehow everything goes into slow motion.
>You dodge the stream of lemon juice like you was in The Matrix.
>You are The One.

>"Damn it! Don't you knock?!"
"I didn't think I'd have to knock on my own bedroom door!"
>"Well you never know!"
"What's all this anyway?! I said no tigget pahootiny!"
>"That's true, but..."
"But what?!"
>She gets off your bed and straightens up her outfit and mane.
>She walks over to you with lust in her eyes and a sinister grin on her face.
"But what?! I demand an answer you yellow succubus!"
>"You never said anything about Tom Foolery."
>Fucking Fluttershy.

End of Part 2