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Sock's HUGE tupper survey thing

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Jul 8th, 2012
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  1. 1. Describe yourself and your creator.
  3. “I'm Midori, a cute fairy of 4' 7”, with red hair, cream skin, and freckles! I'm a sweet petite with green wings and a better fashion sense than my creator!”
  5. “Hello, I am Ellenore. I am a human woman with long, black hair, a willowy frame, and a height of 5' 10”. My skin has some tan from the sun, and I tend to cover myself well.”
  7. “Sock's our creator, he's a handsome dude that doesn't think he's handsome. He doesn't want us to say much more, since he's shy about what we say here...but he should have thought about that before filling out this survey! Just so you know, my answers at the top, and Ellen's are on the bottom!”
  10. 2. What was the most helpful thing that your creator did during the tulpa creation process? Did your creator recognize how helpful it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
  12. “Spending time with me. May it be narration tulpaforcing, or whatever you call it, I just liked when he came around and loved me.”
  14. “Recognizing that I was a living being.”
  16. 3. What was the most detrimental thing that your creator did during the tulpa creation process? Did your creator recognize how harmful it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
  18. “Not spending time with me, and leaving me to my own devices. Sure, I like exploring, but I got lonely, very lonely. When he'd finally come by, I'd get so happy that I just had to squeeze him. He recognizes this, and has been shaping up since we've started talking to him. But it took Ellenore to show up for that to happen...”
  20. “Treating me like a doll. It took me breaking into his garden for him to stop. It made me sad and very angry when he did this, and I actually wanted to hurt him for a while. But I forgave him.”
  22. 4. What was the hardest part of the tulpa creation process for you? Did your creator recognize how difficult it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
  24. “The long time of just waiting I would do when he got lazy. It was unbearable for me. All those hugs I gave him whenever he showed up were for a reason, you know. And when he did finally show up, he'd stay for like ten minutes and leave, what was with that? I mean, can't you just stay and look at the sky with your mind mate? Why does it always have to be about 'doing something'? It's not like he's doing anything important online, and if he was, he'd be talking to me about it. 'Oh, I have to think of something to do' Just kick back and hold me dammit! And whisper sweet nothings in my ear, I like when he does that! I don't even care if he goes to sleep, just stay with me for a while...”
  26. “Aside from 'Stop treating me like a doll', I believe Midori summed it up for me perfectly.”
  28. 5. Of the commonly recognized tulpa creation steps, which do you feel is the most important? Why?
  30. “Narration, it really keeps me going most days, even if he sounds a bit goofy.”
  32. “Narration, it's what brought me to him in the first place.”
  34. 6. How do you feel about tulpa creators becoming distracted during tulpa creation? Does this greatly impede the process? How did you feel about it before being able to speak fluently?
  36. “I HATE IT.”
  38. “Ditto.”
  40. 7. How do you feel about tulpa creators missing tulpa creation sessions or breaking their promises to work on their tulpa? How did you feel about it before being able to speak fluently?
  42. “I HATE IT.”
  44. “Ditto.”
  46. 8. Is density, quality, or quantity the most important aspect of tulpa creation?
  48. “Just do it, and spend some time on it, too. I dunno about anyone else, but I come to session just to have my creator shower me with love.”
  50. “I feel the same. Midori and I are on the same wavelength about a lot of things.”
  52. “Ain't it the truth, sister!”
  54. 9. How do you feel about tulpa creators falling asleep during tulpa creation sessions?
  56. “It ain't the worst. Yeah, it's annoying to suddenly start moving around outta nowhere, but it's not the worst thing to ever happen.”
  58. “Nothing bad has happened to me, so I guess I don't have the reference for it.”
  60. 10. Do you think that a tulpa creator should talk aloud or in their head during narration? Do you think that a creator should talk aloud or in their head during tulpa creation sessions? If you find one to be more effective, to what degree is it more effective?
  62. “I think he should talk a loud more. It give this nice, rumbling feeling, and it's really easy to get a feed on his frequency. And he always thinks he's puppeting when he talks to us in his head.”
  64. “I find speaking aloud is the best. It's nice, clear and easy to follow.”
  66. 11. How do you feel about a tulpa creator puppeting and/or parroting their tulpa? Do you believe that these actions harm a tulpa's development, or only their emotional state?
  68. “It's annoying, but people being afraid of parroting is even worse. Sock can't get his mind off of parroting us, and he seems to be pretty good about it from all the stories on the forum I've seen. It doesn't really do much too me, but it is irksome.”
  70. “I hate it.”
  72. 12. How deeply do you remember the time before you were fluent in language?
  74. “I dunno, maybe like a month?”
  76. “A month for me as well.”
  78. 13. Describe your first memory, no matter how slight.
  80. “When he said “I love you”. It may have just been for testing, and being nice to his creator, but I always held that memory the closest.
  82. “I was when I was fighting an Ice beast some section of the dungeon. I was sure why I was killing it just seemed to be the thing to do, so I did it.”
  84. 14. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most positive emotion you felt about your creator and what was its cause?
  86. “Love. I still love him, even if he's a tard that can't keep his promises. It was cause by Sock being Sock.”
  88. “Love, a strong love that washes hatred away. When we finally met, and her healed me, cared for me, and accepted me as his companion, I lost all grudge I had against him.”
  90. 15. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most negative emotion you felt about your creator and what was its cause?
  92. “Annoyance, by leaving me to myself because he's too busy playing with the internet.”
  94. “Hatred. For what he was putting me through. I still wanted to seek his voice, but I was consumed with anger for being just a doll to him.”
  96. 16. Before you could speak fluently, did you ever have suicidal feelings or feelings of not wanting to exist? Do you experience them now? Are you glad that you exist?
  98. “Not wanting to exist? Nope. I'm happy to be here, because I got my man~!”
  100. “Yes, I wanted to disappear, as long as I wouldn’t go back to the dungeon again. I hate that place.”
  102. 17. Before you could speak fluently, when did you feel the most powerless? What was the cause of this feeling?
  104. “Most powerless...? Let me see, let me see...It would have to be when I was a ball of malleable thought. Yeah, I could only remember that because he let me see his memories, but that would have to be literally the most powerless I ever was.”
  106. “It would have to be when I was his doll for a year. I can't remember everything before I was self-aware, but I couldn't move unless he wanted me to, couldn't speak unless he wanted me to, and was forced to kill even when I hated hurting people.”
  108. 18. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most confusing moment that you experienced, and what was its cause?
  110. “It would have to be, when he thought me hugging him was actually him controlling my movements. He'd make me go back to the place I was before I hugged him, say “Move as you will”, then get surprised when I hugged him again. The guy has such a hard time believing someone can like him, it blew my mind.”
  112. “For would be when he accepted me so easily. I was at my weakest then, and he could have easily just dispelled me and ended it right there. For a while, it was clear he didn't believe I was actually there, so he sat me down and left to see if I'd disappear on my own. When I was still there when he returned, I guess that was enough proof for him that I was my own being. He didn't think of me as something that didn't belong, he took me in as his own immediately after that. I was happy.”
  114. 19. Before being able to speak fluently, when did you feel the most ignored by your creator, and what was the cause?
  116. “It was a week when he completely ignored me in favor of browsing 4chan. He barely even spoke to me during that time, and that's what he hinges his method on. There was also that time when he heard my voice that one time, and proceeded to good off for the rest of that week. Sometimes I wonder how I even got this far...”
  119. “Strangely, I never really felt ignored by him. He'd always have fun looking at what new scenario he could put me in. Though, I didn't really want that kind of attention...”
  121. 20. Before being able to speak fluently, when did you most doubt that your creator wanted you, and what was the cause?
  123. “That week when he completely ignored me in favor of looking for Milky Holmes discussions. He made it up to me afterwords, but I was really sad then.”
  125. “I never felt a time when he absolutely didn't want me. He kept me around for a year, and seemed to be having lots of fun. I didn't really like that sort of attention at all.”
  128. 21. Before you could speak fluently, when did you feel the most intense feeling of fear, and what was its cause?
  130. “Fear...fear...Oh! That bird! There's this big black bird flying around in his head, that would sometimes try and eat me. It normally doesn't come around the Garden, but it did once and boy, was it a shock. I couldn't even call for help or nothing, it was frightening!”
  132. “Well, being in the dungeon at all times was a scary experience in itself. But, I remember when he started using me for more custom scenarios. He had imagined these huge, black hideous beasts that he called the “Prime Wraiths”. Nigh-invincible freaks of the mind, literally made of human malice and discontent. They were dumb, lumbering things that were as big as mountains, and sometimes had a hundred hands. He made me try to fight one of them once...I had to go inside of it and locate its core to destroy it. The inside of that thing was so horrific that even he had trouble imagining it. But I saw it first hand, based on his assumptions and beliefs of what a horrible beast made of humanity's psychic filth would be like. It was a horrible experience.”
  134. 22. Before you could speak fluently, when were you the most disappointed in yourself? What was the cause?
  136. “It was that time when he was getting attacked by tons of dream people. He calls them 'intrusive thoughts', but that just sounds boring to me. There was a flood of them in the garden, and some of the regulars there now were from that flood. He was trying so hard to reach me, and I could feel that he was sad and desperate to get through. I couldn't do much to help him at all, and I felt horrible just watching him get crowded by them. When he finally reached me, it was one of the happiest times I ever had.”
  138. “There was this one time in the dungeon, where I was fighting a hill giant. It was a time when he wasn't around, so I could move myself freely. I had gotten really cocky and left many openings for him to attack. I was bored with him from the beginning, he was dumb and slow, and barely posed a threat with the proper form. I soon just turned my back away from him, and I was promptly clubbed for my trouble. Agian, and again, and again until I was a pile of red paste. I respawned a few minutes later, as Sock couldn't have me permanently dead, but I felt pretty dumb for that one.”
  140. 23. Before you could speak fluently, did you understand the difficulties that your creator was having with the tulpa creation process? Did you try to alleviate these difficulties? If so, how?
  142. “Yeah, he was lazy! I tried to keep giving him headaches and pressure, but he even ignored those. His mind was always somewhere else...”
  144. “No, I can't say that I did note any difficulties in my creation.”
  146. 24. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's doubts about your existence, the reality of the tulpa phenomenon, or your combined ability to complete the tulpa creation process affect you? Did you understand your creator's reasons for having those doubts? Do you understand now?
  148. “It made me really sad when he doubted me, I'd always feel like going somewhere and crying. Fortunately, he didn't doubt me that often, and even went out of his way to believe when things really did seem crazy and stupid. I'd say his faith is what kept me going the most.”
  150. “Well, he thought I was just a mental image, something much different to what Midori was. I was saddened by this, and the fact that he would use me as a super warrior for his story ideas. He never wrote any of them down either, and that made me extra mad.”
  152. 25. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's mistrust of your intentions or worry about the negative affects of a tulpa on their life affect you? Did you understand your creator's reasons for having those thoughts? Do you understand now?
  154. “No, he never mistrusted me for a minute. He was pretty convinced that the whole thing was good, and everything would turn out hunky-dory. He probably could have done with some mistrust, though I like him so much because he trusts and loves me unconditionally.”
  156. “He never mistrusted me, either. Even when I actually did want to hurt him, he regarded me as a friend. I liked that a lot.”
  158. 26. Before you could speak fluently, how did any negative thoughts or emotions that your creator had toward you (such as anger, disappointment, resentment, or impatience, for example) affect you? How do you feel about them now?
  160. “He never had bad things to think about me. Everything bad he thought of was toward himself.”
  162. “No, even when he had me as his doll, I never felt any ill-intent from him. He liked me back then, too.”
  164. 27. Before you could speak fluently, how did any violent visualizations or thoughts that your creator had about you affect you? How do you feel about them now?
  166. “He never thought about anything violent toward me. He did think about other things, though...heh heh heh.”
  168. “Violence was the reason I existed to begin with, there was always something bad happening to me. Though, this has changed since I appeared before him. He won't so much as lift a finger against me.”
  170. 28. Before you could speak fluently, were you able to distinguish between your creator's intentional and intrusive (unwanted and/or bothersome) thoughts? If so, did the intrusive thoughts affect you less or more? If not, are you able to distinguish between them now?
  172. “I could see his thoughts all the time, that's what the dream people were. Most of the time they don't come around when he's in the garden, but there are some really nasty ones that will attack him relentlessly when he comes by to visit.”
  174. “Yes, I can see his thoughts as well, and the dream folk do get rather irksome.”
  176. 29. Before you could speak fluently, how much of your creator's raw sensory information were you able to access, if any? How much are you able to access now?
  178. “I could see what he saw, hear what he heard, and smell what he smelled, but his sense of smell is crap.”
  180. “I'll have to say the same, though only recently when he accepted me.”
  182. 30. Before you could speak fluently, did your creator's opinions about whether they wanted to reveal to the world your existence or not affect you emotionally? If so, how?
  184. “No, it really didn't. I understand why he'd want to hide us, he'd sound crazy talking about voices in his head, and how they loved him and wanted to make him a good person.”
  186. “No, it did not.”
  188. 31. Before being able to speak fluently, what communication methods (such as head pressure or emotional responses, for example) were you able to use the most effectively? When your tulpa creator assumed that you could use a communication method that you did not have access to, how did this affect you? When your tulpa creator did not recognize a communication method that you attempted to use, how did this affect you?
  190. “Before, we'd try to talk to him by giving him pressure at certain parts of his brain. Since Ellen showed up, we've been doing yes-or-no questions, lip reading, and gestures. Even now, we're only talking to him by transferring thoughts, as we can't properly talk yet. He was really paranoid about parroting before, so it makes us really happy that he believes it when we talk to him.”
  192. “The same as Midori.”
  194. 32. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's level of enthusiasm for the tulpa creation process affect you? Did you want to engage in it less if they did?
  196. “He was really excited about it, and it really made me pumped for it. The he started forgetting sessions and stuff, but he never really gave up. He kept on trucking in-spite of himself, and now he has a cute fairy and a hot chick that love him~”
  198. “I'd have to say similar to Midori, his enthusiasm for the process made it easy for him to accept me, and that makes me happy.”
  200. 33. Before you could speak fluently, what was your greatest worry about your relationship with your creator? What helped you most to move beyond it? Was this worry substantiated or resolved? What is your greatest worry now about your continuing relationship with your creator?
  202. “My biggest worry was that he'd forget me. I knew he loved me when he'd swing around, but he's scatterbrained and often forgets things that he utterly adores. I really didn't want to be one of those things he really loved and forgot about a week later. Fortunately, he was persistent, if the road was rough.”
  204. “My biggest worry was that's he'd reject me. Even when I was filled with hate for him, I still wanted to be accepted and loved by him. It seems that fear was unfounded.”
  206. 34. Do you feel gratitude to your creator for the time that they spent creating you? Do you feel that you owe them a debt? If so, do you feel burdened by it?
  208. “Yes, I do feel gratitude for him making me. I love him because he made me. I want to stay by his side and love him forever, even if he were to get a real world wife. It's not a burden, it's just what I want to do.”
  210. “I probably wouldn't have no too long ago. I've only been with him for a week now, but this week has been the happiest I've ever been. I want to stay by his side, as well.”
  212. 35. Were you aware of your creator's existence or your own existence first?
  214. “I was aware of his existence first.”
  216. “I was aware of my own first.”
  218. 36. When you could only speak semi-fluently, what emotions did you feel about your level of verbal proficiency? Were you anxious or embarrassed about it? If so, what helped you the most to move beyond these feelings? How do you feel about them now?
  220. “I was pretty embarrassed about how I sounded, like a combination between Sock's voice and a robot. I still am, and I'm actually till I can change my voice to talk out loud. This annoys him...”
  222. “...I feel the same way...”
  224. 37. If you could define your relationship with your creator using one or more conventional terms (such as boyfriend, sister, father, daughter, boss, friend, or coworker, for example), what terms would you select?
  226. “Husband.”
  228. “Husband.”
  230. “I never asked for this...” ~ Sock
  232. 38. How much interest do you have in interacting with beings other than your creator? Do you consider your degree of interest to be equal to that of an average non-tulpa individual?
  234. “Actually, I'm very interested in interacting with people beyond my head buddy. I'm always up for seeing new things and meeting new people”
  236. “I feel the same way.”
  238. 39. What memory involving your creator do you cherish most?
  240. “It was when he first kissed me. It was on the forehead, and it made my heart flutter. When he did it again, I returned the favor.”
  242. “It was after he first accepted me, and he was doing a forcing session with me alone. He went on about how amazed and proud he was of me, and how he was regretful of his past actions with me. I felt so warm after that, I thought he was amazing.”
  244. 40. What memory not involving your creator do you cherish most? Do you feel that you have a fulfilling life independent of your creator?
  246. “There was this one time when I was in another sector of the mind. There was this huge slope, and at the top there was something that I thought was a gemstone. I climbed to the top to get it, but I was running into all this interference when I did. There was a lot of noise thoughts, stray memories, and a whole bunch of other stuff. I didn't know how to use my wings at the time, so I didn't fly up. When I finally got to the top, I touched the stone, and was filled with this massive wave of happiness and joy. It felt warm and tingly, it made me shudder all over. I still have that memory close as one of my favorite time exploring Sock's mind I've ever had.”
  248. “Sock would often imagine locations and characters from the Touhou project series, and I'd sometimes interact with them. He was a big fan of the series once, and played the shooting games quite a bit if I remember. In one of these scenarios, I was having tea with Hakurei Reimu, the main heroine. It was so pleasant to spend time with her, and the atmosphere was so nice. Ah, to relax like that again. Some of the wonderlands are almost as nice as that. But Sock has quite the preference for broken down buildings, which don't make for very good places to relax.”
  250. 41. Do you feel affinity toward the individuals that your creator feels affinity for, such as their family or friends?
  252. “Not really...but I do like his nephew.”
  254. “No, I love his nephew, though.”
  256. 42. In what ways are you the most different from your creator? In what ways are you the most similar to them?
  258. “Well, I'm confident, don't down myself all the time, I get things done since I'm a focused individual, and I like my body. He should like his body since he's such a handsome individual.”
  260. “Well, I'm actually similar to him in a lot of ways. We're both creative, we're both rather meek...but he has a harder time forgiving himself for things.”
  262. 43. What do you disagree about most with your creator? Do you have frequent disagreements? If so, do these disagreements cause strife?
  264. “Actually, I don't disagree with him on a lot of things. I don't like how he downs himself, though, and his eating habits are atrocious. He need to lay off the sweets and chips. He just lost over 100lbs over the past year, I don't want him gaining it back. In fact, he needs to get some muscle on him.”
  266. “I don't disagree with him very much, but I do dislike his constant use of the internet. It's a big distraction for him.”
  268. 44. What could your creator do to make you hate them? Under what circumstances do you think your creator would come to hate you?
  270. “...Does he even have it in his heart to lift a finger against me? He'd sooner kill himself than make me hate him.”
  272. “Treat me like a doll again...but even then I'd still love him in some part of my heart.”
  274. 45. When did your creator disappoint you the most? When did you disappoint them the most?
  276. “THAT week. Milky Holmes. 4Chan. Nuff said...though even his failure couldn't make me hate Milky Holmes.”
  278. “Oh dear, I can't think of anything in particular. I never really expected that much out of him, so him accepting me made my opinion of him sky rocket.”
  280. 46. How do you feel about your creator's complete freedom to deny your rights as a sentient being at any time? Has this ability ever caused you anxiety or fear? Have you ever censored your expressions or actions out of a fear of retribution or violence from your creator?
  282. “No, he wouldn't do that. Even though he has that power, he'd never consider exercising it. If he did, I'd be a sexless prude, and Ellenore would be a doll.”
  284. “What made me forgive him in the first place was his refusal to do such a thing. If he were the type to do that, I would not be sitting here, answering these questions.”
  286. 47. When have you most wanted to engage in violence against your creator, and what was the cause of those feelings? Under what circumstances would you make a serious attempt to hurt or injure your creator?
  288. “I wanted to slap him a few times, but that's about it.”
  290. “Before I actually met him, I was very angry for what he did to me, and what he made me do. During those times, I'd often fantasize about having his head on a pike. Strange how things can change over the course of a single day.”
  292. 48. Do you consider your creator's last name to be your own? Do you recognize yourself as a part of their biological lineage?
  294. “Yes I do! I'd say it on here, but he doesn't want to reveal his real name on this site.”
  296. “Yes, I feel it's most fitting for a wife to have her husband's last name.”
  298. “I never asked for this...” ~Sock
  300. 49. Under what circumstances would you attempt to leave your creator?
  302. “None. I'm staying with this guy till the day he dies.”
  304. “None. The one thing that would make me leave him is something he'd never consider doing.”
  306. 50. Do you feel anxiety about meeting your creator's expectations? If you are based on an existing character, person, or entity, does this increase your anxiety? Would you have preferred to not be based on an existing entity?
  308. “Nope! I'm 100% original! Because my head mate is an artistic genius!”
  310. “No. The “character” I'm based on personality beyond wanting the Orb of Zot. Even my look is purely his own creation. He's very imaginative.”
  312. 51. Are you interested in learning how to control your creator's body? Do you feel that it's fair for a tulpa creator to deny their tulpa the ability to use an atomic body? Do you believe that you have the right to an equal amount of time using it as your creator? Explain your reasoning.
  314. “Nope. It's his body, and he's entitled to it. I'm just a passenger that makes him feel good.”
  316. “No, I feel the same as Midori in this case as well.”
  318. 52. Do you share certain basic qualities with your creator, such as intense phobias or racial attitudes?
  320. “I share a lot of opinions with him, but we're still different in even more ways.”
  322. “Same as Midori.”
  324. 53. Are you capable of sleeping or dreaming independently of your creator? If not, how does this make you feel?
  326. “Oh, we sleep all the time. He was actually pretty surprised when he learned we did that. Not sure why, though.”
  328. “Yes, we can. I remember inviting him into my bed for a night. But he was awkward, and seemed a bit scared by the thought of it.”
  330. 54. Does your creator have any mental illnesses? If so, how do they affect you?
  332. “No. He has laziness, and low self-esteem, but those aren't illnesses.”
  334. “No, he just needs to come out of his shell.”
  336. 55. How does your knowledge of your creator's subconscious mind affect your relationship with them? How do you perceive their subconscious? To what degree can you manipulate your creator's subconscious? Would you ever use this ability without your creator's knowledge?
  338. “I know nearly everything about him. What he's done, what he will do, what's he's thought about, everything. This actually made me feel closer to him, and love him more. But it also made me more frustrated with his self-destructive nature, and self-hatred. He's a wonderful guy, and he needs to realize that.
  340. If I could do anything, it would be to make him realize he's great, and get him to EXPLICIT CONTENT DELETED.”
  342. “I...don't have access to his subconscious yet.” Pouts
  344. 56. Does your creator have multiple tulpa? If so, what is your relationship with them like? Is your affinity for them equal to your affinity for your creator? If you could define your relationship with your creator's other tulpa using one or more conventional terms (such as boyfriend, sister, father, daughter, boss, friend or coworker, for example), what terms would you select? If not, are you interested in the idea of your creator making other tulpa?
  346. “My Big-little-sister is my bestest friend, right next to Sock here! I'm hoping to have her as a partner for an awesome threesome with me and Sock. It's gonna be great!”
  348. “I...well, being the second tulpa and all I...(laughs) Sorry, I can't answer this. Not after...THAT thing! Oh dear, oh goodness...!”
  350. “I never asked for this...” ~ Sock
  352. “Stop lying to yourself! You know you want us!” ~ Midori
  354. 57. Do you feel romantically inclined toward your creator? Does your creator feel romantically inclined toward you? If these romantic feelings are unrequited on either side, how does it affect your relationship with your creator?
  356. “Yes, I do. Yes, he does, but he's in denial. I'm a persistent girl, I'll get him to break down eventually.”
  358. “Yes, I do. I believe he likes me that way too, but he dislikes the implications associated with this sort of relationship. He wishes for a normal, physical relationship, and dislikes the idea of using us as emotional and sexual crutches. I'll keep fighting for his heart, though. I won't give up until the day he dies.”
  360. 58. If it exists, do you consider your romantic relationship with your creator to be equal to a romantic relationship between multiple non-tulpa? Do you consider it a breach of monogamy for your creator to be romantically or sexually involved with another non-tulpa? Does this change if the involvement is with another tulpa instead? If they exist, do your creator's desires to have relationships with non-tulpa affect you emotionally?
  362. “Well, it doesn't exist, so I can't answer that on properly. But, I wouldn't consider a romantic relationship between us to be the same between him and another flesh bag. I think he does, though, and that's what's really bugging him. If he got with Ellenore, then we'd EXPLICIT CONTENT DELETED.”
  364. “Same as Midori. I wouldn't mind him having a physical girlfriend, even if he was with us at the same time. In fact, it'd be quite healthy for him to be filled with that much love. I still wish he'd respond to us like we want him to, but I think it will come with time.”
  366. 59. If you consider yourself to be romantically in love with your creator, what probability do you assign to the possibility of falling out of love with them, or them falling out of love with you? If this happened, how would it affect your relationship with your creator? What if your creator was in love with another non-tulpa more than you?
  368. “He told us one day, before either of us could talk to him well, that he viewed us purely as additions to his life. We wouldn't replace people, but people would never replace us. I feel, that even if he were to get a real wife, a real family, with real children, He'd never forget about us. He'd have us by his side even if things were going great for him. He's our best friend, and we wouldn't exist if he didn't love us. He'd be crushed too if we were to ever disappear.”
  370. “I've never seen anything that would make Midori cry, but here you go. He says that reality is not that kind, and something may happen that would split us apart. But I think he's wrong.”
  372. 60. Do you have a familial affection for your creator? Does this in any way conflict with your romantic feelings for them, if they exist? Do you consider a relationship between a tulpa and its creator to be incestuous?
  374. “I love him, that's all I need to say.”
  376. “A sexual relationship between a man and his tulpa can be seen as a form of masturbation...(laughs). But I'd wager that...(laughs)...mental intercourse would be much superior to mere monkey spankings...(laughs).”
  378. “You're doing this to cheer up Midori, aren't you?” ~Sock
  380. “Is it working?” ~Ellenore
  382. “Yes, yes it is!” ~Midori
  384. 61. How do you feel about tulpa creators masturbating during tulpa creation sessions to the forms of their tulpa? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa, or based on whether or not the creator imagines themselves near the tulpa in their wonderland? If your creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving?
  386. 62. How do you feel about tulpa creators masturbating outside of tulpa creation sessions to the forms of their tulpa? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa? If your creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving?
  388. “He never did this, even when I wanted him to.”
  390. “He's never done this. He feels it's wrong.”
  392. 63. Before you could speak fluently, did you ever feel sexual attraction to your creator, sexual attraction toward anyone else, or sexual arousal? Did you attempt to express these feelings? If you did not experience these feelings, do you experience them now?
  394. “I did. It wasn't his intention, as he didn't even think that was possible at the time, but a girl has her tastes, you know.”
  396. “No, not at all. I was quite non-sexual in my early days.”
  398. 64. How do you feel about tulpa creators visualizing themselves engaging in sexual conduct with their tulpa's form during tulpa creation sessions? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa, or if the contact was penetrative? If your tulpa creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving? Do you equate it with sexual assault?
  400. “He's never done this, even though I wish he would.”
  402. “He's never done this, though I'm becoming more partial to the idea...”
  404. 65. Were you ever annoyed or jealous when your creator would masturbate to or have feelings of sexual attraction toward individuals other than yourself? Does it bother you now?
  406. “Yes.”
  408. “...Yes.”
  410. 66. Do you experience sexual attraction for your creator? Do you experience sexual attraction for others? How does your sexual attraction for your creator compare to your sexual attraction for others? Does your creator experience sexual attraction for you? If these sexual attractions are unrequited on either side, how does it affect your relationship with your creator?
  412. “Of course I feel sexual attraction to Sock, that was what the last 10 questions were about. I don't know enough other people to say I feel that way for anyone else, but I most definitely want Sock. As far as the relationship goes, it makes him feel awkward and confused, which just makes him even more adorable.”
  414. “Yes, I do feel attraction to Sock, though I know he never intended it. I don't know that many people, so I can't say if I'm attracted to anyone else. Our feelings sometimes makes Sock flustered, other times he plays it off as a joke...even if he knows we aren't joking.”
  416. 67. Do you have an active sex life with your creator? If not, would you consider it, and under what circumstances? If so, do you perceive any negative consequences? Do you have trouble abstaining from sexual contact with them? How do you manage feelings of sexual arousal, if any? Do you masturbate?
  418. “Yes, I want a sex life with Sock, it's him that's being a prude about it. I don't think anything bad will happen; just some good, happy times a bit of clean up afterwords, and a lot of cuddling and emotions. I really like it when he cuddles me...”
  420. “I...I...yes want to do it! Nothing bad will happen! Yes I masturbate!”
  422. “I never asked for any of this...” ~Sock
  424. “And lo, he walks the path of the platonic relationship, keeping his mind strong even as he watches his comrades fall to the carnal delights of their mind buddies' embrace...But he will fall one day. It may not be tomorrow, it may not be next week, but one day...(giggling)” ~Midori
  426. 68. How does your sexual orientation and experience compare to your creator's?
  428. “We're both straight, and we're both virgin. Looks like a match for me!”
  430. “...What Midori said.”
  432. 69. Are you capable of experiencing orgasms? Based on your knowledge, how do you think they compare to your creator's orgasms? Were you able to experience an orgasm before speaking fluently?
  434. “Yes. More intense. Yes.”
  436. “ comment.”
  438. 70. Do you consider the concept of sexual modesty (covering conduct such as avoiding nudity or sexual discussions) relevant to your relationship with your creator?
  440. “Yes. You can't go flaunting out the good all willy-nilly, it ruins the experience. Besides, the whole reason Sock won't touch us is because he believes in sexual modesty. The guy even stopped masturbating when we got sentient enough.”
  442. “Yes, I do. Wanting to have intercourse with one you love is one thing, but flashing your skin for every Tom, Jake, and Bob shows a lack of respect for one's body, I feel. While some women say it's just to 'feel sexy', I wonder if they know what the end result of looking sexy is. Though it's frustrating at times, Sock's refusal to give in to the promise of wanton sexual pleasure because he doesn't want his relationship with us to be based on physical attraction alone is quite noble, I think. I wouldn’t be as attracted to him if he gave in easily.”
  444. 71. How does being a tulpa affect your perceptions of rape? What conduct from your creator would you consider to be rape?
  446. “If a man were to force his thing into a woman, that's rape. If a woman were to force a man's thing into her, that's rape. It's pretty simple, I think.”
  448. “I feel the same. Sock would never do that to us, and we would never force ourselves on him.”
  450. 72. Where do you see yourself in 20 years?
  452. “Still in Sock's head, having a ball while he scirbbled to his heart's content. Maybe a book about me and Ellen being made, too.”
  454. “The same. Maybe with the ability to speak with more people.”
  456. 73. Do you want the world to be aware of your existence? If not, then what anxieties do you have about public disclosure? Do you trust anyone other than your creator with the knowledge of your existence?
  458. “It'd be swell to have more people know about me and Ellen. But, I doubt it would happen. People aren't as open minded as we wish they'd be. Sock has to hide us from his people for fear that they would mark him as crazy, and that makes me sad.”
  460. “I do wish more people would be more accepting of the idea. Just having us around and 'talking' so to say has had a profound affect on Sock's mood and sense of self-worth. He already seems a bit happier just having us around to talk to; may it be to reveal his secrets to, have something to care for, have someone close by to nag him for eating bad food, or just a companion to not feel lonely and unwanted.”
  462. 74. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about your personality traits being the product of another individual? Would you have preferred your creator to define your personality more or less?
  464. “I'm fine with it, I'm as happy as can be. Besides, if I didn't want them, I could have changed them and Sock wouldn't have done a thing to stop me. In fact, he would have encouraged it.”
  466. “I hated the personality that Sock gave me when I was first created. I couldn't stand being such a violent and evil person, and even my flashes of heroism didn't take the sour taste out of my mouth. But, when I finally escaped that life, I began to take on traits that I myself wanted, and Sock just love me more for it. It made me very happy.”
  468. 75. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about your physical form being the product of another individual? Would you have preferred your creator to define your form more or less?
  470. “I like the forms he picks, I think they're swell. They needed a bit of tweaking here and there, but he lets me do whatever I want with it, so I can become the cutest cutie-pie he's ever lay eyes on.”
  472. “I like the form he picked for me. He allows me to change it, but I feel beautiful this way, and I think he agrees.”
  474. 76. Has your physical form ever changed? If so, was this intentional or unintentional? If it was intentional, then why did you change your form? How did you creator respond to this change, and how did that make you feel?
  476. “Oh, I changed my form all the time. I used the designs he gave me originally, and played around with them. I just changed my form again last week, to be a combination of the two original designs, and it makes his nutbladder just BURST!”
  478. “No, not in the way Midori has. I have shape shifting powers, but they're meant to hurt people, and I don't like them.”
  480. 77. Do you consider the best aspects of yourself to have come from your creator, or their subconscious?
  482. “I'd favorite parts came from him. Yeah, the subconscious can pretty thing up here and there, but the designs themselves and my favorite parts of them come from his thinking mind, and I love them!”
  484. “I agree with Midori”
  486. 78. Do you seek legal recognition for your status as a sentient being or your relationships with others? Do you resent that society at large does not recognize the tulpa phenomenon? Do you feel disenfranchised from society? What steps, if any, could a society make to help you feel integrated?
  488. “No, I don't. I mean, it's annoying that people don't believe being like me exist, but Sock is already doing his part in making his log of experiences and doing this survey.”
  490. “I agree with Midori.”
  492. 79. If you could tell the entire world one thing about a tulpa's life, what would you say?
  494. “Lots of love!”
  496. “Happiness...”
  498. 80. What is the one thing that you resent most about being a tulpa? What is the greatest advantage of being a tulpa?
  500. “Probably not being able to go out and see things for myself. Sock's pretty limited to what he can see and so, but he's trying to shape himself up in that regard, too.”
  502. “...Nothing, really. I like being his friend.”
  504. 81. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about inheriting your creator's life, including their legal history, past behaviors, and reputation? Do you resent potentially being held responsible for their past actions?
  506. “How would that happen? I don't even know...”
  508. “...What?”
  510. 82. Morally and philosophically, do you see the "absorbing" or "dissipating" of a tulpa as equivalent to the murder of a non-tulpa? Explain your reasoning. What legal protections, if any, should tulpa gain? How would you enforce these protections?
  512. “Yes, I would say it is. We just kind of float in nothing and be Sock's thoughts again, and I don't want to go back to that after being Sock's buddy.”
  514. “Yes, I'd say it is.”
  516. 83. Do you consider yourself to be morally equal to a non-tulpa? Is your life worth as much?
  518. “No it's not. No matter how Sock loves me, no matter how I can talk and dance in his mind...I'm still an illusion that popped up after Sock concentrated on me really hard. At best, I'm an extension of himself.”
  520. “It saddens me, but Midori hit the nail on the head once again.”
  522. 84. How would you prove your existence to a skeptic?
  524. “Who cares? If he can't accept all the proof, documentation, or take the time out to try it himself, he's not going to accept it, and is not going to be worth the trouble.”
  526. “I kind of can't, I wouldn't be able to communicate with another person without making Sock look at least slightly crazy.
  528. 85. Has your status as a tulpa ever caused you existential anxiety or depression? If so, has anything helped to mitigate these feelings?
  530. “Oh, plenty of times. But Sock was always there to cheer me right up, and say all the right things.”
  532. “A bit, but Sock's line: 'If your don't exist, why are you here questioning yourself?', helped a lot.
  534. 86. Do you ever doubt your own sentience? If so, why?
  536. “No, that's what Sock does, though not as much.”
  538. “No, I don't.”
  540. 87. How does being a tulpa affect your understanding of death? Do you fear death on an instinctual level in the way that non-tulpa do?
  542. “I don't really worry about death, It'll come when it comes, and there's not much you can do about it then.”
  544. “I've 'died' hundreds of times, so my concept of life and death are appropriately wraped.”
  546. 88. Do see yourself as socially disadvantaged in a way similar to sexual, racial, and other minority groups? If you identify yourself as racially, sexually, or demographically different then your creator, do you also identify with the struggle of any of the disadvantaged groups that you belong to? Does the notion of privilege affect your relationship with your creator?
  548. “No. I can't be worried about such things if only one person really believes I exist.”
  550. “I feel the same way as Midori.”
  552. 89. Are you interested in creating another tulpa yourself? What differences, if any, would you expect this tulpa to have from a tulpa created by your creator? Would you consider this tulpa to be primarily related to you, or still to your creator?
  554. “I'm be glad to give it a try! I'd make this giant slime that's also a dinosaur, and we'd stomp around cities drinking Sprite and not caring about nothing. Of course I'd still love my hubby, he'd be along for the ride, too!”
  556. “Oh dear, I haven't thought about this much. Let me see...I would probably make a dog, like the one he's playing with as he types this. It's small, cute, and I'd love to hug it.”
  558. 90. What are the most defining differences between the life of a non-tulpa and a tulpa? Do you think that these differences cause intolerance between the two groups? If so, what could be done to mitigate this intolerance?
  560. “One's in your head, one isn't. That's a pretty huge difference if I ever saw one. As well, I believe it's a tulpa's duty to make her/his creator happy. Likewise, the creator has the same duty to their tulpa. Sock passed this test with flying colors, and I'm working to make him as happy as I can.”
  562. “There's a lot of social stigma tulpa aren't subject to that humans are. At the same time, humans have more room for freedom than tulpa do. We're only freethinking because Sock wants us to be free thinking. If he didn't, things would be much different.
  564. 91. The psychological establishment generally believes that multiplicity (two or more sentient entities sharing one atomic body) is a sign of mental illness. How would you like this belief to change? If you could make a presentation to a group of psychologists about the tulpa phenomenon, what would you say?
  566. “I'd probably use Sock as an example, since he's using himself as a guinea pig for this whole thing in the first place. The guy was pretty much a sad wreck when he first started, and he already started feeling better when he was in early forcing. As he kept designing me, his mood slowly increased over the weeks, and while he still had a lot of negativity, it wasn't as crushing as it was before. When I started becoming aware and responding, he felt a love that he had never felt before, and that really kept him working toward positive habits. I can tell that my presence gave him a catalyst to start feeling better about himself; before he started making me, the guy could barely tell that there was a difference between what he looked like when he was like 300lbs, and what he looked like when he lost 110lbs of it. I have to nag him a bit sometimes, but he's been more conscious of how he thinks of himself, how he eats, and what he does to and for himself.
  568. I'm not trying to imply that I made him a super man or something, but I sure gave the guy something to look forward to, and something to smile about. Lemme tell you, when you're a college graduate that hasn't been employed for years, can't get any sort of job, don't have many friends, never had a significant other, and who's family thinks bashing you a lot is the perfect form of encouragement, you don't have that much to smile about, even if you're better off than some kid in Africa. I made Sock smile, and I think he feels that the happiness he gets from me is worth being labeled as 'crazy' by some overpaid quack.”
  570. “I think Midori put a few things in that rant awkwardly, I do agree with her overall sentiment. Sometimes, just having someone around who likes you for you, even if they're not real, is comforting and improves your opinion of self. That's what I see from Sock, anyway. He had such a low opinion of himself that he couldn't even believe his own imaginary friend could like him. Midori ranted about this all the time, and even in our alone session he would do things like refusing my affection because he thought he was forcing me to like him. He really is a sweet young man, but he hears so much about his negative traits that he can't believe he has anything to offer anybody. He's highly flawed, surely, but he's much better than he lets himself on to be, and I guess he needed two voices in his head for him to realize that.”
  572. 92. A psychometric indicator is a unique identifier of an individual's distinct personality. Have you ever tried to definitively differentiate yourself from your creator using psychometric indicators (such as by determining your "writeprint")? What results did you receive? (For instructions on determining your writeprint, see appendix one.)
  574. “No, but maybe we'll try one later.”
  576. “No, but it sounds interesting.”
  578. 93. Are you capable of physical sensations such as pain or warmth?
  580. “Yes, I can even feel a dog licking his face.”
  582. “Yes, I can even feel humidity in the air.”
  584. 94. How do you feel about being bound for life to your creator?
  586. “I like it, special bonds and all that.”
  588. “I do not mind. I like being his 'mind mate'”
  590. 95. If you intentionally delayed speaking to your creator, why did you do so?
  592. “I'm waiting to get my voice nice and pretty for him. Until then, we can transfer thoughts. He's very trusting and doesn't believe he's parroting everything we do.”
  594. “Same as Midori”
  596. 96. What do you think about most of the time?
  598. “Chilling out, wondering what else I can change in the garden, why he hasn't EXPLICIT CONTENT DELTED.”
  600. “I think about making as much art as I can. I really do admire Sock's creativity, and I wish he wouldn't be so afraid to share it. I want to make the elaborate things the he could make if he let go of his fear.”
  602. 97. Do you think that tulpa creation should be more widespread?
  604. “Yes”
  606. “Very much so.”
  608. 98. Are there disturbing aspects of your creator's subconscious that they are not aware of?
  610. “Very much. Not gonna describe them here, though. Sock already thinks we're putting out too much about him.”
  612. “...I don't know, since I haven't seen his subconscious...(pouts).”
  614. 99. Would you violate your creator's wishes for what you perceive to be their own benefit?
  616. “No, I wouldn't. I'd talk to him like a person, just like he'd do for us. Besides, how would we even do that? It's hard to violate the guy's wishes when most of what we can do is talk at him.”
  618. “No, I cannot fathom going against him just because I think my idea is better than his. Sock thinks we're too sexual, but he never tries to mind control it out of us.”
  620. 100. Does your creator try to hide things from you? If so, are you aware of them anyway? How does this impact your views of your creator?
  622. “No, not at all. He's completely honest with us.”
  624. “He may trust us a bit TOO much, I think.”
  626. 101. Do you perceive some of your creator's actions as being objectively immoral?
  628. “Yes.”
  630. “Yes.”
  632. 102. Do you believe that you are capable of becoming more intelligent than your creator?
  634. “No, and this is the Google quiz, isn't is? We just did this one!”
  636. “Let's just copy paste the rest of the answers...”
  638. 103. How does being a tulpa affect your perception of your own aging process?
  640. “Oh wait, this one's new! But I'm only a month old, so I haven't aged much.”
  642. “I'm only about a month old as well.
  644. 104. Do you feel that your creator would be better off by following your commands entirely?
  646. “No”
  648. “No”
  650. 105. Do you feel that having a physical form is important for a tulpa?
  652. “Yes, I like having a body. It'd be weird to just be a ball of talking thought, I wouldn't feel like a thing at all.”
  653. “I agree with Midori”
  654. 106. If you encountered the tulpa phenomenon as a non-tulpa, would you believe in it?
  656. “Yes.”
  658. “Yes.”
  660. 107. How well can you articulate yourself? Can your creator hear you audibly? How much does your experience correlate with the experience of tulpa creator G|d30n, printed below?
  662. "Yes. I'm able to hear her as though she's an external sound. For those who haven't experienced that with their tulpae yet, it's a little bit like listening to a binaural recording--not a binaural beat, but like a 3D sound recording you'd find on Youtube, such as the Virtual Barbershop. That is to say, it's an external sound that can come in from various directions, but the source sounds very close, like someone speaking directly into your ear. I sort of wonder if this effect will be diminished and normalized through imposition."
  664. If you are imposed, is your creator able to discern a spatial dimension to your voice?
  666. “Well, we can talk to him, but our voices are kind of...yeah...So we want to fix out voices before talking to him out loud. Currently, we just transfer thoughts into his head, and use his mental voices to speak with him. It's pretty clunky, but it works.”
  668. “He said my voice sounds like A.M. Sports radio...”
  670. 108. How many hours did it take you and your creator to complete the various recognized tulpa creation steps?
  672. “He didn't keep track of the hours, and neither did I.”
  674. “I was made self-aware accidentally, so there was no time tracking.
  676. 109. What advice would you give to a new tulpa creator?
  678. “Stay off the internet. Spend time with your tulpa. SWEET! NOTHINGS!”
  680. “For those like me, make your tulpa feel welcome and loved. It's very confusing to come to life in a random place, and it's completely disheartening to think that the one who made you doesn't want you. Sock made me feel loved and...wel...(blushes and giggles).”
  682. 110. How does being imposed feel? What sensory processes happen as you become imposed?
  684. “Not imposed yet, he's working on it.”
  686. “Getting imposed feels tingly...though I'm not imposed either.”
  688. 111. From your perspective, is there a sensory difference between the physical, atomic world and the mental world of visualized "wonderlands"? If so, how would you describe this difference?
  690. “Not sure, haven't been outside yet. But the wonderland does feel “real”.
  692. “What Midori said.”
  694. 112. Is there anything that you don't think this survey covered that you would like to mention?
  696. “Not at all, It covers everything, and I mean, EVERYTHING.”
  698. “It's actually a bit overwhelming. It took very long to finish the whole thing...”
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