Current Life Issues / New KH 1.5 Route

I wanted to quickly make this pastebin regarding my recent mood and mindset towards speedrunning and the new KH 1.5 Route

Recently you may have notice I sound quite dry/bored when doing runs of 1.5 I don't sound as excited or interested in things which happen in my run like I use too. This feeling has only hit me over the last fortnight to month. The fault I blame on my own, I was asking for ridiculous goals to come quick as I felt like I was so inform with 1.5 but luck and destiny seemed to push my goals aside. It started to let me down as I really feel I am capable of being WR Holder but doing runs can become tedious after a while. I find the main issue with that is that I havn't branched out into wide variant Categories and Games of KH and others. This plans to be one of the changes applied once my 1.5 Beginner Goal is met. Eg: (Simpsons Hit & Run, FF8, KH1 Original, KH 358/2 Days)

Now what I want to go on to continue saying is what I feel needs to be let across as I was looking through one of *** *** highlight and heard *** (leaving names out due to respect) 'Mist and Saiyanz need to get over themselves' this is regarding the new Route alterations related to 1.5 as I assume. When I saw the video and found out the news about the new 1.5 changes at the current time I was not in a good place of mind.

I have been having a really rough time with both of my jobs, I tend to argue with my family every so often, my body has been in its unhealthiest state in a very long time and I am having friends which I would call family treat me like I am a whole non existent person in their life. The sad part is there is no explanation for why, I am now so distant with all of my friends regardless of trying to keep the relationship with them strong. This is also a bit lame to some but also have been facing a strong amount of rejection from girls as well which obviously isn't the end of the world but can really knock my confidence back with myself as everything around me is not going to how I planned and wished for. This is why I have such a variant mood when I stream each time (Cheerful, Salty, Bored, Depressed) it's variant and certain moods can be triggered due to my deep depression and anxiety (will not be going over that as I am not ready too). I have gone very off topic but all I wanted to say was if I have made anyone in the community or in general feel off about my ouput on the new route let me just reassure some things for you.

I am very excited and happy to finally see a pickup with the game I love so much and strive to represent to the general speedurn community. I have been wanting something new to come to 1.5 for awhile and my wish was granted with this very interesting and diverse route which was tested by Bl00dybizkitz. I personally want to give thanks to SonicShadowSilver2 for discovering Dumbo Skip & also to BB, Hobz & Zetris for delving into the 2013 theory which was Dumbo skip which encorporated DR Skip aswell as everyone else in the community who chipped forth ideas. My lack of excitement made it seem like I was annoyed that there was a route change but that is not the truth at all. I am just overall dissapointed I did not achieve my goal of 2:50/49 before this all came to intuition. All though I can now alterate my goal at the time I felt semi defeated (this triggered more than it should due to the rough day) and I may have debated many things and not sounded like I was siding with DR Skip Route but overall i'm glad its happened and I want to appologize to anyone who feels like my approach to this has been in a negative shine of light. I wish to be one of the main representatives of KH1 & 1.5 and I feel like my mood and pitch when this became a thing was not right and has left people dissapointed. I am truly sorry for this I just hope that this does not change peoples thoughts on me and Kingdom Hearts 1 and how I feel about everything related to the speedrun

This may have awful grammar also and may not piece together well but i'm spilling everything out and just pitching forth what is on my mind at this current time I love you all and hope I can make you all proud :)