[PiE] (Un-named Story) Chapter 2: Meeting the President

>You're in a helicopter
>At least that's what Anon tells you
>It's a strange machine, but it's telling of humanity's character as a species
>With no wings, humans cannot fly on their own, but that does not mean they have never dreamed of it
>Instead, they made their own wings of steel, and have been using them far more effectively than equinity has ever dreamed.
>You are told that where you are headed, a city called Washington DC, is over 400 miles away from your current location
>The distance seems enormous, and yet you will be arriving there within less than 3 hours.
>You wonder whether it would be a good idea to consider further trade with Earth after your griffon "conflict" is over
>Equis could certainly find a use for Earth technology, though it begs a question as to what Earth could use in exchange from Equis

>Sitting across from you is a man with a very cold expression that makes if difficult to read what he is thinking
>He tells you his title is "Special Agent Lurch", but so far he hasn't been very conversational
>He never takes his eyes off of you, however, and you're fairly sure he is trying to guage your own thoughts from your expression.
>It's to be expected though. All diplomats think themselves mind-readers in your experience, and none of them are very good at reading you.
>You put on a smile. It's that same smile that you always put on for interrogators that says "I know more than you think I do"
>To be truthful, you're actually most ignorant when you do that
>Fortunately, only Luna knows how to call your bluff, and she refrains from doing it in public.

>Lurch's silence is annoying
"So... deal with aliens often?"
>"That's classified," he deadpans.
"Sounds like yes to me. Are they nice, by chance?"
>"Again, classified."
>You chuckle
"Anon, take a note. Mr. Lurch has just confirmed the existence of a third intelligent species"
>This earns you a laugh from Anon and a groan from the federal agent
"Don't worry, Lurch. If it ever comes up, we'll just say I'm a mindreader."
>He retreats back to his silence
>You're pretty sure you scared him, which wasn't your intention, but it does tell you a bit about the human psyche - they're easily manipulated.
>You make a mental note to place security on the portal from Equestria's side. A changeling allowed into Earth could spell disaster for your friends from across the universe.

>The rest of the helicopter ride is mostly boring, so you spend it sleeping, as you have no idea how long your meeting will last.
>Eventually, the helicopter begins to descend upon the lawn of a large white building
>You can see from the window that a crowd has formed near a fence
>Many of the people are holding signs, with messages that say "Welcome to Earth" or "We come in peace"
>If only you could have given Anon that warm of a reception
>As the plane touches down, you are greeted by a brown-skinned man with a warming smile who you can easily identify as President Obama, and his entourage of guards
>He reaches out his hand, which you know from Anon is a form of greeting, so you reciprocate by reaching out a hoof, which he shakes.
>"On behalf of my people, I'd like to welcome you to the United States, the greatest nation on Earth."
>His voice is amplified by a tiny microphone that appears to be attached to a device on his head, and is heard by the cheering crowd, that begins to start chanting in unison "U S A, U S A, U S A!"
>You suppose it would be best for yourself to make a statement as well, so you put on your best Royal Canterlot voice
"AND ON BEHALF OF MY PEOPLE, I WOULD LIKE TO THANK YOU FOR YOUR HOSPITALITY. WE WILL EXTEND IT UPON YOU SHOULD YOU EVER VISIT EQUIS."

>The crowd goes silent
>Obama mutes his microphone and whispers "Yeah, maybe a titch to loud there, Princess"
>You turn to dumbstruck crowd, and with a much less booming voice, say "Thank you for having me, people of Earth."
>You take a bow, and the cheering once again resumes.
>After a few more seconds of cheering, Obama finally says to you "perhaps you'd like to come inside so we can get down to business?"

>You and Anon are led into the large building, which Obama informs you is called "The White House."
>After passing through several different rooms, you are eventually brought into an oval room, where there are two couches placed on either side of a coffee table, and a desk which resides at the end of the room, with a mess of papers littering its surface.
>Obama takes a seat on seat on the couch to the right, so you and Anon take your place upon the other couch.
>"So let me get this straight," Obama begins.
>"You," he says, pointing his finger at you, "are at war with some other country on your planet, right?"
>Oh he's good
>You aren't going to give him everything though
"And what would make you think that?"
>"For someone who's been on Earth for less than a day, you have some interesting choice in literature. There was only one book found disshelved at the apartment you were staying at - Sun Zi's Art of War."
"Perhaps I just wanted to know what kind of species I'd be doing diplomacy with," you counter.
>"And perhaps you already knew what kind of species you were doing diplomacy with. We are one that seems to be filled with... what was it you called them, 'conflicts'?"
"And say I were. Would you be in a position for offering aid?"
>"That would depend upon a few factors. You..."
>He points to Anon, who had not been paying much attention
>"You've been hiding a portal to another world in your closet. How about you tell me how long it's been there, and what all you've told her."

>Anon slouches into the couch and places his feet up on the table.
>"One year, and I don't know how it got there, it just appeared. As for what all she knows, I've mentioned that our weaponry is by far superior, that our country averages a war every 20 years, and that I wouldn't cooperate with her if she'd be willing to use cruel weaponry to obtain victory. That answer your question?"
>"Good, good." says Obama in a more chipper voice, "because it would be sheer esquivalience on my part to break a nuclear non-proliferation treaty. 9 nuclear armed countries is already too much."
"9 countries on this planet have nuclear arms? How many countries are there in total?"
>"Around 200"
>So they aren't THAT irresponsible as a species
"Interesting. Well, regardless, I have no interest in cruel weapons of any kind. All I ask is that I can make my neighbor stop trying to threaten me for my gold."
>"Is that what you were planning to trade, gold?"
"It is, unless you have something else in mind."
>"How much?"
>By your calculations, you have about 444 million kilograms of gold that you're willing to trade, but you feel it best not to show all of your cards
"An order of millions of kilograms."
>Obama smiles
>"Then I believe a deal can be reached."

>Anon finally speaks up.
>"What are you gonna give her?"
>A wide grin appears on Obama's face. "Just a few drones with metal storm."
"And what is metal storm?"
>"It's a technology for shooting hundreds of thousands of bullets per minute. Good for taking out lots of soldiers, and to a certain extent, armored vehicles."
"And this can take out, say, a million griffons?"
>"Only a million?"
"Point taken. Now should we discuss the price?"
>"3 million kilos, and I want to keep in touch with you. We may have more to gain from trade"
>You smile. Not you poker face smile, but one that conveys genuine happiness.
"I think I'd like that, Mr. President."