Jump 003: Fate Legends - Oasis of Fantasy

Jump 003: Fate Legends - Oasis of Fantasy

Location: Sumer, 2800 BCE (to 1200 BCE)
Age: 16
Identity: King
Drawbacks: [+500] Sumerian Pride, Heavenly Judgement, Trials of Scheherazade

[Free]      An Age of Gods
[Free]      AUO
[Free]      The Seat of the Pharaoh
[100/1500]  Can't Wait To Be King
[300/1500]  Sovereign
[600/1500]  Two Thirds Divine
[1000/1500] Collector
[1200/1500] Mind of the World
[Free]      Eternal Flower
[1500/1500] Nameless 'Sword'

So, to recap.

Ten years watching fantastic sanctioned dogfights, which I largely stayed out of.

Ten years bringing joy to boys and girls the world wide.

One thousand six hundred years ... hold on a tick, one of these things is not like the other ones.

Initially, opening my eyes and finding myself in Uruk, the child of a priest, I had no idea what to even presume about anything. It took some time before I realized my father wasn't just a priest, but a religious figure who led the city, named Lugalbanda. And that my name here wasn't merely an homage, but... well, I seem to have accidentally taken the place of a historical figure.

I kept myself entertained by screwing around with the local kids, challenging them to ridiculous feats that I knew they wouldn't do, or to fight. After all, a prince ought to be able to go mingle with his subjects, and needs to learn the arts of combat, no? And I seem to recall something being mentioned at some point that the king has the right to the first night with a bride, though my memory is a little more fuzzy on that.

Well, it turns out the people thought I was being unfair to them for some reason, and complained. Not to my father, no, but to the gods themselves. Which... honestly it would have been a bigger problem, considering that there's plenty about this era that didn't make it into the tablets that survived making their way through history, but things turned out all right in the end. Sort of. Sure, there were a LOT more creatures that roamed the land than historical records might indicate, but no one believes it when a map says that there are dragons in a place, do they? And who had to deal with the giant in the cedar forest nearby that kept killing hunters who approached the wood? Not the soldiers of Uruk, and the priest-king is too busy, it's got to be his son.

What a chore.

But at least I met Enkidu that way, and I will tell you this: he was a really great guy. Helped me get a giant cedar home from the forest, which ended up being turned into a gate for one of the more important temples. But knowing he'd eventually be taken away was not fun, and I tried to prevent it, though some things are written in stone. Things like Ishtar really taking it personally when I rejected her, or maybe it was because I told her that beauty is only skin-deep but an ugly personality goes down to the bone? Either way... the Bull of Heaven was only one of the things that she threw at us. (I maintain that Enkidu throwing part of the bull's ass at her was the most hilarious thing I have EVER seen.) The other gods threw things at us as well, because they saw that the Bull failed and this of course inspired fear. While I lived... Enkidu did not. I'll freely admit, I may have taken it a bit personally when the gods decided that killing Enkidu was a just decision.

I may have actually been in complete denial that he was actually dead and insisted he was sleeping until a maggot came out of his nose, actually, but come on. Enkidu was my best friend. I was beside myself with grief. If I have few friends, then it is because I hold those few who was precious to me that closely.

After that, I made it my business to finish dealing with anything the gods had the nerve to throw at me. And so from there they got more subtle. Go hunting for a guy named Utnapishtim, who was probably the oldest guy in the world? They whisper in his ear to make sure I don't get what I want. Accept death! Ha. I know where this is going, there's no chance of that. Go looking for some insurance, just in case, to make sure I don't die? Of all things, a goddamn snake eats it, and now they shed their skin! It doesn't actually DO anything for their longevity, either, they just shed their skins to not end up looking old. Things seem peaceful and I assume the throne? Uruk gets besieged by an army from Kish. Not that I can really blame their king, the elders recommended mercy and honestly I can understand the whole deal, but we came out soundly on top anyway. King Akka wasn't a bad guy, but he was definitely no friend - and the guy only started calling himself a king after I did. Damned copycat. There's only one person with a legitimate claim to be the king, and that isn't him.

I blame the gods' shenanigans though, as through some bizarre twist of fate, part of the peace settlement involved me telling him bedtime stories. But you know what? That's okay. In fact, that's more than okay, I've got so many stories in my perfect memory that it made his head spin. You want to entertain someone at night? Read them Harry Potter, or Star Wars, or Sherlock Holmes, or any other number of things. (I had a LOT of spare time in the off-season as Santa, after all; I did quite a lot of reading and watching films.)

I refuse to acknowledge that Uruk lost that war, by the way, no matter how it may have looked from the outside. I was the one showing mercy, after all, and we had them exactly where we wanted them. They simply never ended up springing the trap.

Eventually, though... you know, it's worthwhile to take a break from being king. After a hundred and twenty-six years of ruling. And with a little help from the priesthood, they were happy to help me fake my death, up to and including redirecting the Euphrates temporarily so that no one will be able to dig up the grave and check it. After all, considering most people lived half as long as I ruled... it might have been a matter of overplaying my hand a little if I stayed on forever.

Meanwhile, that gave me time to go out and relax and see the world. And oh, there was much to see. If I kept writing about that, though, it would be a bit ... long. To be brief, watching the rise and fall of city-states - the rise and fall of entire nations, humanity's numbers jumping from hundreds of thousands to millions, that Josh guy who started a cult that ended up taking the Romans by storm and gained worldwide fame... there's quite a lot there. And throughout it all, I travelled the world and watched. Sometimes stepping in, sometimes not.

It was my right to do so as king, after all.