Second Chances Chapter 5 - Summons

>It’s been a few weeks since you found yourself in this magical land of Equestria, with its rainbow array of Crayola-colored talking p0nies.
>Goddamn, life is wonderful.
>You’re still staying with Twilight and Spike, and still sleeping up in the loft with them like a family of hamsters. At least the air mattress they got you is more your size. You’re surprised how Twi’s friends have gone out of their way to make you feel welcome. Rarity’s made you a whole new wardrobe, she even made you a nice pair of soft shoes that fit like a glove.
>The rest of the town treats you with a mix of wonder and reservation, like they’re cautious about the strange, six foot tall bipedal primate. Spike, on the other hand, tries to act tough towards you, but seems to also follow you around. Sometimes, you even wake up with Spike curled up on top of you like he was looking for comfort after a bad dream.
>Then there were the times you woke up with Twilight’s hoof in your face because HER bad dreams caused her to roll out of her bed.
>However, Spike was the reason you were here today, crouched in the bushes below a window to Carousel Boutique, peeking in the window like a pair of goddamn bosses.
>”Are you sure this will work?” Spike glanced up to you from the object of his affections: Rarity.
“Trust me, short stuff. You love this p0ny, right? Well, if she’s anything like human women, playing hard to get will definitely get her attention, especially since up until now you’ve been fawning over her.”
>Spike didn’t look as confident as you sounded. “Ok, ok…just…give me a minute.”
“Remember, don’t be mean, but don’t be forward.” God, he reminds you of your little brother the first time he wanted to get a girl to notice him.
>As the two of you sit in the bushes, you think back on your life in this place to this point. It certainly hasn’t helped to dull the pain that brought you to this illusion in the first place.
>Are you sure this is an illusion? You’ve been dreaming an awfully long time.
>Shut up. Besides, it gives you something to do. As long as you’re dreaming, might as well enjoy it, right? RD loves working out with you, Applejack and Fluttershy are more than happy to send a few bits your way for doing odd jobs…so why does everyone act like you’re an awkward fifth wheel?
“Say…Spike…what do you think of me?”
>Spike glances up, momentarily out of his nervous funk. “What? Why would you ask something like that?
“Eh…nevermind. Forget I said anything.” You pussy.
>Say, you gonna tell Spike what comes next after he gets the girl?
>…sometimes men need to learn lessons the hard way.
>Spike rocked on his heels, taking a deep breath as he smoothed out his scales. “Alright, here I go.” He turned to crawl out of the bush before he looked back at you. “You know, despite being so ugly, you’re a cool guy. You never seem happy though.”
>…
>”Wish me luck,” the dragon said as he left the bush, off to meet his destiny.
“Good luck, little bro…” You barely hold your voice steady as you resume peeking in the window.
>Wow, he really hit a nerve, huh?
>I hope you get a stroke.
>I’m your brain, that would fuck both of us. You know, it wouldn’t hurt to smile, jeeeeeest a little bit.
>I don’t want to talk about this right now.
>You said that before, and you stuck a bullet in me.
>Don’t tempt me again, that was before you lectured me like my mother.
>It makes sense though, it seems that besides Twilight, who is usually nose deep in some old book trying to figure something out about that sword, every p0ny has been going out of their way to make you smile, especially…
>”SURPRISE!” Pinkie Pie.
>The pink tornado appears out of a flowerpot on the window sill less than a quarter of her size in a move that defies all physics. You are quickly learning that for Pinkie, the laws of physics are more of a set of easily-ignored guideli-
>Your thought is interrupted when Pinkie pulls what looks like a bazooka out of the neighboring pot and hit you with a broadside of confetti and cupcake frosting.
>We won’t even discuss the disconcerted looks on Rarity and Spike’s faces as they watch the commotion from inside the shop.
“…Pinkie…”
>Pinkie shirks her head down a little with a giggle and an almost-apologetic grin. Almost.
>Pinkie continued to trot alongside you as you walk down the road, brushing off the last of the glitter, scanning you like a target with a big grin on her face, no doubt plotting yet another hare-brained scheme to make you smile.
>You’ll give Pinkie Pie one thing: she’s persistant.
>”So, what’cha up to?”
“Nothing much…” Wrong answer.
>Before you know it, you find yourself in Sugarcube Corner, holding what appears to be a rather cross pair of baby p0nies while Pinkie tries to feed them. How in the holy hells does she do that?
>Simple. She can do it because Pinkie.
>Not good enough.
>”Open wiiiiide, the pegasus is coming in for a landing! OMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM”
>Your mind flashes back to an image of a baby girl on your lap. That baby’s cousin stands in front of you, hair as black as her eyes are bright and shining. She holds a spoon like an airplane, waiting for clearance to land…
>And your reward for letting your mind wander like that was a unicorn horn to the eye from a very resistant young filly.
>F-bomb in 5….4….2…
>3, sir.
>3…
>CANCEL DETONATION! CANCEL!
>Pinkie rubs your shoulder as you hold your eye, groaning in annoyance more than anything, the foals going off doing whatever it is foals do. “Sorry anon, taking care of the Cakes always makes me smile.”
>Goddamn that puppy dog face.
“Don’t worry about it…she’s just a baby.”
>Pinkie’s concern disappears completely with those words. “GREAT! Because I have just the thing to-“
>”Sorry Pinkie, Anon needs to come with me.” Twilight opens the door to the shop, trotting up to the two of you, Spike astride her back. A mix of excitement and concern dance across her facial features.
“What is it, Twilight? Is it the sword?”
>”Kind of. Remember Princess Celestia, my teacher and ruler of Equestria? She’s summoned me to meet her in Canterlot, and she wants me to bring it, and you, with me.”