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EditorAnon

Youjo Senki proofreading.

Feb 24th, 2018
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  1. >Intro
  2. statuesqe - > statuesque
  3. >Origins
  4. >Drop-in
  5. guarenteed -> guaranteed
  6. Note: Rather than "guaranteed not to join the military" I would suggest "not guaranteed to join the military" as joining the military could still be an option you can take, rather than one you're not allowed to.
  7. >Tactician
  8. Moderatly -> Moderately
  9. >Politician
  10. Not a typo, but I feel the phrase "smart talking" should be "silver tongued" as a better choice of wording.
  11. >Scientist
  12. contries -> country's (it's the possessive of a singular country.)
  13. >Mage
  14. Not a typo, but I don't think "Gifted by god" should be attached here as indications are that, similar to the real world, magical types were hidden (often the sign of persecution.) The sudden revelation of magic and the Empire's adoption of magic into the military is the primary divergence point in the world of Youjo Senki, and it was relatively recent.
  15. >Locations
  16. Russy Federation is properly "Rus Union." - On the maps in the anime, it's even shown as "Union of Rus Socialist Republics"
  17. >Age/Gender
  18. rprevious -> previous
  19.  
  20. Side note: Should indicate a "Perks" section before the Discounts line.
  21. >Perks
  22. >Drop-in - Hard Bargain
  23. barginig -> bargaining
  24. peices -> pieces
  25. >Drop-in - Just Business
  26. accomidating -> accommodating
  27. if proffesional -> it professional
  28. at least probably - I assume you mean "at least publicly" here
  29. >Tactician - It Seems We Feel The Same
  30. You peers -> Your peers
  31. >Politician - PersoNoble
  32. who loes -> who lies
  33. >Politician - Supply and Command
  34. Grammar: look as though there was -> look as though there were (Sentence is in second person.)
  35. >Politician - Blame Shift
  36. inevitable -> inevitably
  37. Grammar: for other stupidity -> for others' stupidity (plural possessive)
  38. >Politician - The Ears Have It
  39. Not really a correction, more a preference - Starting "Your mother..." and "Your father" with "Is your..." would flow a bit better to me.
  40. >Scientist - Eccentric Genius
  41. Not a correction, just an aside - Given the way the project went before Tanya's involvement, I feel that "casualties" should be added to the list of rules one can disregard as long as you're providing results. (Note, that's casualties, not deaths.)
  42. >Mage - War In Three Dimensions
  43. But, in the sky? -> But in the sky? (comma unnecessary)
  44. >Mage - Von Twelve
  45. managemt -> management
  46. Not a typo, but suggestion for clarification and restriction to just the topics already mentioned:
  47. ludicrous level of competence in all things. -> ludicrous level of competence in all things already mentioned.
  48.  
  49. >Blessed - What You Could Be
  50. has deemed this vengeance to -> that this vengeance will (last words before the aside were "has decided")
  51. You berserk -> Your berserk
  52. to cross blade -> to cross blades
  53. >Damned - Every Complex Known To Man
  54. While these version -> While these
  55. >Damned - When Will You Believe?
  56. quite abit -> quite a bit
  57. >General - Plaything
  58. freind -> friend
  59. >General - Miracle
  60. Not a correction, but a request for examples of what kinds of miracles the upgraded version can bestow.
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