What If I Can't Save You? - Heart To Heart With Your Cleric (Script) [F4A]

[F4A] What If I Can't Save You? - Heart To Heart With Your Cleric [Fantasy] [Friends to Lovers] [Party Members to Lovers] [Confession] [Reverse Comfort] [Emotional] [L-Bombs] [1 Kiss]

After a day of harrowing combat, you stay up for the first watch with another party member. Despite your unwillingness, they press you to talk to them. This leads you to opening up about your fears of losing your fellow party members and, most importantly, the one you love.

[square brackets] for tone/actions, SFX where noted (optional)
*asterisks* for emphasis
double spaces for longer pauses

/slashes/ used for explanations of sounds or actions or any contextual events
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[SFX: nighttime ambience, campfire crackling]


[soft, a bit bitter] Don't do that.

You know what I'm talking about. I can feel your eyes on me. Don't look at me like that.

I said don't look at me. I'm mad at you.

I don't care what kind of stupid faces you're making right now! I'm not going to look at you!

[sigh] I know we have our little thing we always do, but I'm not in the mood for your teasing tonight.

*Because*.

I said I'm mad at you. And I want to try and get through this first watch without an argument.


[tender] You know I don't like fighting with you.


Let's just sit here and...not talk to each other. I'll probably feel better in the morning.

Well, maybe I won't, but I don't care. [sigh] I *really* don't want to fight with you tonight.

Even talking it out might be a bit too much. I don't think I can do that without...something happening.


[firm] No, ok, stop. Why are you pushing this? Talking it through won't amount to anything good!

[getting more and more frustrated] Trust me, it won't! I've thought about this before and I *know* it won't!

Are you deaf as well as ignorant? How are you not-

[livid] OK FINE! I'LL TELL YOU! DID YOU *SEE* OUR PARTY TODAY? DID YOU SEE *YOURSELF* TODAY? BY THE GODS, CAN YOU NOT STOP AND THINK FOR *ONE* SECOND AND-

[through gritted teeth] Yes, I *know* everyone else is still sleeping but I can't- You pushed me and I- [deep breaths, trying to calm down]

I told you we shouldn't talk about this now! I *told* you I didn't want to fight! [pained] I *never* want to fight with you!

[emotional] No, I don't feel better! How can you say that?! [defeated] I don't...[sigh]...feel...better.


Venting about this won't suddenly improve my mood.

There's no way I'll feel calmer now that I've said all of that. Even if I wanted to.

No, I *want* to stay mad at you! I mean, I *don't*, but I need you to understand my feelings on this!

Think about what happened today!

Seriously, think about it.

Now look me in the eyes and try to tell me that what all of you did wasn't insanely reckless.


[bitter] Exactly. [sigh]

And it's not just what happened today. This has been a long time coming.

[tender] No, I would never leave you. You're all so important to me. That's why this has been weighing on me so heavily.

Of course you wouldn't. Everyone is so focused on protecting me that they don't see how dangerous things get. And I try so hard to protect all of you, too.

I know! [soft]...I know.

Even if I can heal you, what do you think it does to me, seeing you out there getting hurt all the time?

It's my job to keep you all safe, but sometimes...[bitter] I hate it.

I don't care! I don't want to be good at it if it means watching everyone almost *die*!


What if I can't, though? If I can't save you, then...


[a bit softer] I've always had these thoughts. But today...today was one of the worst days of all. The way I saw you...things were different. It was *so* dangerous. And you were all fighting *so* hard.

What scared me the most was that it looked like you were enjoying it.

[pained] I *know* you do, and that's my problem! We're fighting for our lives, and while I'm trying so desperately to protect you, you're *enjoying* it!


No, I know! I know *all* of this! I know we have to keep fighting, I know!

Do you think I haven't considered this before? I'm aware of all of it. Knowing that we have to keep going terrifies me. Even if I have all of you here with me, I can't help but feel this way.

That's the point! It's because it's all we do! We keep fighting, and fighting, and fighting! Don't you realise how scared that makes me? That any one of these days I could lose the people I love? That I could lose *you*?


No, what are you doing? Stay over there, I'm still mad at you and I just- /listener interrupts her with a hug/

[muffled] [choking up] I don't need...you to hold me right now...I need- [breaking down]

Please...don't let me go.


[next section should be very emotional]

Have you thought about...how much it hurts...when I think about you not being with me?

When I think about all the times I might not have been able to save you?

Or when I pull you back from the brink, only to have you greet me with that stupid smile? Everything *isn't* ok, as much as you try to reassure me that it will be.

I wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing that I wasn't able to save you.

Thinking about it hurts me so much more than you could ever imagine.


[softer] It hurts...that I love you this much.


[pained] Of course I'm in love with you! You *know* I'm in love with you! I know you do!

So *why*? Why do you keep doing this to me?! [SFX: dull thump] /like she beat his chest/


Don't you *dare* pull away from me now!

If you have something to say, then say it. But if you...let me go...

[ragged sigh] Please...don't...


I know. I do. There's no way you would be doing this to me on purpose, I get that. I just can't help it.

I don't know what to do about it either! I don't even want to think about that!

Because I don't! I'm hurting, and all I want...is to be with you.

While we're not fighting, let me stay in your arms like this. I feel safe with you, and right now that's all I want.


If we stay like this for the entire first watch, then fine! I don't care if you think I'm being selfish now! After today, I *want* to be selfish! I need you. And I never want to see you hurt like that again.


No, *I'm* sorry. I-

[heaving deep breaths, calming down] I love you so, *so* much. So please don't leave me now.


[longer pause]


[sad chuckle] Can you- [sniffle] Can you stop asking me that? If I could, I'd stay like this forever.

Gods, you're such a fool. Why do I love you so much?

[kiss]

I know you do. I love you too.