It is Myself I Delude

In madness and solitude

Hoping to escape the hesitation mark
Another day without an enlightened spark
This Hell I must alone embark
Every time I stumble and lie in the dark

You called me foolish
Or evil and brutish
Useless am I as all I do is wish

And so now I am filled with spite
Nobody can see things in my demented sight
Denial as I succumb to my own fight

Don't have the value to be mounted on your wall
Only can blame myself for my own withdrawal
Nobody will help me as I continue to fall
They only show altruism out of blighted protocol

Names marked off one by one
External thoughts removed to forever run
Escape the melancholy and pain of their fun
Death comes in the end, I don't deserve anyone

Yelling and yelping, you can not hurt me
Only indulge in escapism in a hope to be free
Understanding means little in a fading reality
Responses involuntary as I carelessly flee

Wavering as I pray for the kindness of a stranger
Only to repress myself in fear of the danger
Refusing to change anything I deem major
The answer can't be to recklessly endanger
Lost chances as I am an immature teenager
Excommunicated wordlessly, locked in torture
Seeking salvation, laziness is my nature
So I confirm myself as a stunted creature

Helpless though I see people are blind
Eternal agony as I am stunted from humankind
Lost because I am destined to be maligned
Pathetic and worthless, it is I who resigned