Seth the bargainer

The troll slapped his hands down on the bottom half of the door. “How may I be of service?”

“I need gear,” Seth said.

Grippa stared. “A vague request.”

“I’m going to a feast at Skyhold,” Seth said. “I need some equipment to help me stay safe.”

“You’ll be protected by hospitality rights,” Grippa said.

“And the dragons want to kill us,” Seth said. “So I want to be prepared. Henrick told me you have an amazing knowledge of the items here.”

“I’m deaf to flattery,” Grippa said. “The reason we have items of value in our stores is because my predecessors and I have protected them.”

“If we never use them, they serve no purpose,” Seth said.

“If we use them indiscriminately, they will not be here when most needed,” Grippa replied. “What exactly do you want?”

“See if he has an accordion,” Doren whispered.

Seth stifled a laugh. “Do you have a weapon that could come in handy if a dragon gets grumpy?”

“Fresh out of accordions,” Grippa said. “Perhaps the brownies could rig something for you?”

“I asked about a weapon,” Seth said.

“I assumed that an accordion would qualify,” Grippa said. “We do have some pipes.”

“I’ll take a set of bagpipes,” Newel said. “And the hours when you retire for bed.”

“We have two sets of bagpipes,” Grippa said, “and many rules against playing them.”

“I really need a good weapon,” Seth said. “You must have something.”

“We have more than twenty thousand weapons in our care,” Grippa said. “Roughly one-third of them would be too heavy for a lad your size to employ effectively.”

“So give me the best of what would work,” Seth said.

“The best?” Grippa asked incredulously. “The best, you say? Why would you deserve our best weapon? Why take it to a feast? How would you even determine which weapon is best? The rarest? The most costly? The most powerful?”

“The most powerful that I could handle,” Seth said.

Grippa leaned forward. “Powerful in what way? Capable of killing the most people the fastest? Most threatening to a dragon? Able to cause the most structural damage to a building?”

“Those three sound good,” Seth said.

Grippa covered his eyes with one hand, the hornlike nails on his fingertips yellowed almost to brown. “You can’t have any of them, let alone all of them!”

“Why?” Seth said. “I’m the caretaker.”

“I’m the property master,” Grippa replied.

“I’m in charge of you,” Seth reminded him.

“He said it,” Newel muttered.

“Sure did,” Doren murmured in reply.

Grippa grinned. “Is that how it works? You’re going to bully me? My job is to guard the armaments and other property of interest belonging to this garrison. I decide what goes and what stays.”

“What if I fire you and take what I want?” Seth asked.

Newel and Doren subtly sidled away from him.

The grin was gone. “Have you ever dealt with a troll before?”

“Once or twice,” Seth said.

Grippa drummed his fingers on the lower half of the door. “I’m going to cut you a break because you’re young, you’re in over your head, and you’ll probably be dead soon. Trolls don’t appreciate threats. We have long memories. We don’t give something for nothing. Trolls bargain.”

“And you work for me,” Seth said.

Doren made a choking sound that may have started as a laugh. Newel patted his back firmly.

“I was not employed by you,” Grippa said. “I have a contract. It has been in my clan for generations. I suppose there are protocols you could engage to relieve me of my position, forms to fill out, covenants to break, deposits to relinquish. Are you sure you can replace me? Do you know where the hidden rooms are and how to access them? You’re familiar with the hundreds of secret stashes that contain the most valuable items? You have the expertise to distinguish a phantom knife from a dagger of despair?”

“You lost me at forms,” Seth said. “Is a phantom knife good? Does it cut ghosts?”

“The blade of a phantom knife can pass through solid matter,” Grippa said, “but the tip can be made tangible at any moment. It is primarily used by skilled assassins to kill without an entry wound.”

“So, a couple of those,” Seth said. “What does the dagger do?”

Grippa balled his hands into fists. “We have one phantom knife. It would be nearly impossible to replace. And it would serve almost no purpose among dragons.”

“What would be most useful where I’m going?” Seth asked. “What would you bring?”

“Am I to deduce I am keeping my job?” Grippa asked.

“If you give me some good stuff,” Seth said.

“That’s a threat again,” Doren offered helpfully.

“Can I speak with our friend for a moment?” Newel asked, putting an arm around Seth’s shoulders.

“What are you, his attorney?” Grippa asked.

“Attorney is such an ugly word,” Newel said. “How about adviser?”

“This will only take a moment,” Doren assured.

Newel guided Seth several paces down the hall and leaned in close. “Trolls are hoarders. This clown doesn’t want to part with any gear. He doesn’t want to let you know what gear he has. He thinks of it as his. I have a feeling Henrick or Marat or Agad could twist his arm and get him to move, but better for your reputation if you do it yourself.”

“I’m trying,” Seth said.

“Trolls like a good bargain,” Newel said.

“Why should I bargain?” Seth complained. “He works for me!”

“And he can work against you,” Calvin said quietly from Seth’s pocket.

“True,” Newel agreed. “Listen, you don’t want to bargain with an employee. It seems weak. But maybe it’s actually smart. Do you want good gear or not?”

“I want it,” Seth said.

“Then be clever,” Newel said. “Trolls are notoriously selfish. If it works to his advantage to give you good gear, he’ll be much more willing.”

Seth nodded. “I get it.”

Newel patted his back, and Seth returned to the doorway. The troll watched him smugly.

“Sorry, I’ve been under a lot of pressure, and I was being hasty,” Seth said.

“A common flaw of youth,” Grippa said.

“Useful in a race, though,” Seth added.

The troll barely chuckled.

“You’ve heard Soaring Cliffs fell?” Seth asked. “The dragon sanctuary?”

“Everyone knows,” Grippa said.

“Dragons are in rebellion around the world,” Seth said. “Celebrant has threatened us. Kendra and I might not be perfect caretakers. Everyone knows we’re too young. But we’re what you’ve got right now. At least for a year.”

“Celebrant can veto any potential replacements for twelve months,” the troll recited.

“And he will,” Seth said. “He knows we’re inexperienced. He thinks appointing us was a bad move. Maybe it was.”

The troll shrugged. “You got the scepter. It showed toughness and leadership.”

“And we’re really young,” Seth said. “We might fail. We could be the last caretakers Wyrmroost ever has.”

Grippa squinted pensively. “You against the dragons for a year? Even with the protections inherent to the keep, I put my money on the dragons. At least three to one. That’s assuming you have better advisers than these fauns.”

“What would the odds be with us as the advisers?” Doren asked.

“I’d pack my bags,” Grippa said. His eyes returned to Seth. “What’s your point? Trying to scare me off?”

“I do have good advisers,” Seth said. “I mean to hold off the dragons. You want me to survive.”

“If you and your sister die, Celebrant becomes the sole caretaker,” Grippa said. “Same if you flee the sanctuary. The dragons rule Wyrmroost. Yeah, I want you to live.”

“If we die, you lose all this stuff,” Seth said. “No Blackwell Keep—no items to protect.”

“I hear you,” Grippa said. He paused, twisting his neck to the side until it clicked. “I don’t want you to lose anything I lend you.”

“Seth has some experience with magical items,” Newel inserted.

“Quiet down, Bagpipes,” Grippa said. He gazed at Seth. “Do you?”

“I used to have Vasilis,” Seth said.

The troll’s eyes lit up. “One of the five legendary swords?”

They had been conversing in English. With a small effort, Seth switched to Duggish, the language of trolls. “I used it to kill Graulas and Nagi Luna “Then my sister took out the Demon King with it.”

“I suppose I knew that,” Grippa said. “You speak Duggish like a native.”

“Part of being a shadow charmer,” Seth said.

“Where is the blade of legend now?” Grippa asked. “Perhaps I could keep it safe?”

Seth smiled. “I have to keep that a secret. But I have used powerful items from time to time, including the Sands of Sanctity and the Chronometer. As we get to know each other, I may store items with you.”

The troll rubbed his hands together. “You need gear for the feast. In case something goes wrong.”

“What do you recommend?” Seth asked.

“You’ll take care of these items?” Grippa asked.

“I will,” Seth said. “And I won’t let Blackwell Keep fall.”

“Fair enough,” Grippa said. “You’ll want a weapon.”

Chapter 5-Stingy