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WindStrike

The Master Quest - Darkness Incarnate, Part 4

Nov 17th, 2019
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  1. <DM> *LAST TIME ON ZURPG - Darkness Incarnate
  2. <DM> *After raiding Gerudo Fortress and experiencing a most excellent adventure across the Gerudo Desert via the Lens of Truth and a handful of wandering crazies, Corsava, you finally arrived at the Spirit Temple with Bloodwind. There, you met with Koume & Kotake, old witches who served as the surrogate mothers to the Gerudo King, Ganondorf, and those of Gerudo Kings past. They were about to attack you, when your straight up lack of knowledge
  3. <DM> of Zelda's lore allowed your ignorance to not only skip an entire boss battle, but get the two on your side.
  4. <DM> *It's about then you realized that, despite all this chatting and getting to know Bloodwind, you didn't have a grasp on his master plan. Turns out, he intends to gain enough power to slay the Gods and the Goddesses, whom he believes are the sole perpetrators of this world's history of plagues of evil. To that end, for whatever reason, he apparently needed you to summon Ganondorf with your powers, though you're not entirely sure why yet.
  5. <DM> And at the end of his plans, he revealed you'd have to die for them.
  6. <DM> *Not wanting to give up on life just yet, you tried to persuade him otherwise, but the voices in his head seem to have convinced him that he no longer needs you. You tried to invoke Pure Madness on Sithe, right as Bloodwind launched a ringing blast from his Fierce Deity Sword at you. Now, the curtain of uncertainty rises...
  7. <DM> say ready when ready
  8. <Corsava> ready
  9. <DM> ..... alright leeroy jenkins, let's do this
  10. <DM> -=SESSION START=-
  11. <DM> [Sithe]: It's treason then.
  12. <DM> [Sithe]: Dew it.
  13. <DM> *Bloodwind launches a Ringing Blast from his Fierce Deity Sword at you, Corsava!
  14. <DM> Roll your Courage +25 dice vs. targets' Courage dice
  15. <DM> Damage: +0
  16. <DM> EFFECT: If it hits, siphon 5 Magic from the target to you. If the target does not have enough Magic, target instead takes 5 Neutral Damage.
  17. <Corsava> Okay, so I lose 5 magic
  18. <DM> $77d10 Bloodwind
  19. <Navi> DM: You rolled 77 Dice with 10 Sides. Total: 423. Successes: 57.
  20. <Corsava> I'm at 5 magic now
  21. <Corsava> $41d10
  22. <Navi> Corsava: You rolled 41 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 9, 9, 4, 10, 6, 7, 2, 8, 6, 3, 2, 7, 3, 1, 2, 1, 1, 5, 3, 2, 9, 1, 1, 7, 6, 7, 7, 5, 6, 4, 7, 5, 2, 10, 4, 7, 6, 6, 4, 2 and 9. Total: 206. Successes: 25.
  23. <DM> *Normally, this would just uhh... nuke you outright. However, right as he launched that, you also tried to use Pure Madness on Sithe. Roll that!
  24. <Corsava> $32d10
  25. <Navi> Corsava: You rolled 32 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 6, 8, 1, 7, 9, 2, 7, 4, 5, 9, 2, 5, 10, 9, 10, 6, 5, 5, 2, 8, 1, 6, 10, 1, 10, 7, 7, 5, 1, 8, 3 and 6. Total: 185. Successes: 27.
  26. <DM> $30d10 Sithe
  27. <Navi> DM: You rolled 30 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 5, 4, 2, 4, 6, 9, 7, 10, 7, 9, 5, 6, 7, 5, 2, 2, 9, 4, 10, 10, 9, 10, 1, 8, 6, 7, 3, 6, 5 and 6. Total: 184. Successes: 26.
  28. <DM> *Right as Bloodwind tries to launch the Ringing Blast, he suddenly reels to the side, causing his ranged blast to only hit you with a glancing blow. You take half damage from the attack.
  29. <Corsava> I think that still kills me XD
  30. <DM> 57 - 25 = 32 - 11 = 21/2 rounded = 11, uhhh
  31. <Corsava> Kaiten!?
  32. * DM rewinds time slightly...
  33. <DM> *You feel your splattered body recuperate into a whole being as you draw your twin blades and proceed to KAITEN it!
  34. <Corsava> $1d2
  35. <Navi> Corsava: You flipped 1 coin. Result: Heads.
  36. <DM> *It ends up reflecting directly back at Bloodwind!
  37. <DM> [Bloodwind]: Dangit Sithe, could you try to be a bit more inconspicuous?
  38. <DM> $70d10 Bloodwind
  39. <Navi> DM: You rolled 70 Dice with 10 Sides. Total: 387. Successes: 51.
  40. <DM> *Bloodwind... gets hit by his own attack, thus... siphoning magic from himself... to himself?
  41. <DM> *The damage is also reflected from himself... to himself... but is blocked by armor both times.
  42. <DM> *Bloodwind just stands there, unphased and unamused.
  43. <DM> [Bloodwind]: ... I feel like I just experienced a mild reality break.
  44. <DM> 57 - 51 = 6 - 12 = 0 damage
  45. <DM> oh wait, hang on
  46. <DM> Twilight Mirror
  47. <DM> True Reflection:
  48. <DM> EFFECT: Whenever you successfully defend an attack, reflect it back at the attacker with your success rate, and adding the difference in successes to its success rate.
  49. <Corsava> He *IS* the attacker
  50. <DM> ... gimme a moment to process this
  51. <DM> oh wait sorry he was hit
  52. <DM> nvm
  53. <DM> that doesn't happen
  54. <Corsava> Ah,
  55. <DM> *Reality proceeds NOT to break that hard.
  56. * Corsava looks up at the numbers coming off of them
  57. <DM> [Koume]: *thinking* Did you just... what just happened?
  58. <DM> [Kotake]: *thinking* We have witnessed a travesty of physics, or lack thereof.
  59. <Corsava> *thinks* I just used the power of the Gerudo to warp space-time into a loop so that his attack could only possibly target himself.
  60. <DM> *Bloodwind seems to be staggering slightly. You see the shadow following him seem to murkily spread outwards a bit, unable to maintain its shape and form. You also no longer hear the incessant voices of Sithe.
  61. <Corsava> *thinks again* Can you guys like, pump a shitload of magic into me so I can keep doing that? His defenses seem to be focused on counterattacking a belligerent.
  62. <DM> [Koume]: *thinking* A simple deduction of quantum physics. Brilliant!
  63. <DM> [Kotake]: *thinking* ... what the f*** are you talking about?!
  64. <Corsava> "Are you alright, Blood?"
  65. <DM> [Koume]: *thinking* Will do! Let's go, Kotake!
  66. <Corsava> *thinks* Wait, if you become physical, my kaiten could accidentally target you
  67. <DM> *You feel your mind begin to split apart. A moment later, the mad cackling of Koume and Kotake exit your mind, as they escape back into their physical forms and onto their brooms, circling Bloodwind!
  68. <Corsava> I down a magic jar
  69. <Corsava> "Oh fuck."
  70. <DM> [Kotake]: Too late! Let's destroy this bad boy!
  71. <DM> *Bloodwind tightens the grip on his blade, his breathing getting slower and heavier.
  72. <Corsava> "Well, hell."
  73. <DM> *Time to roll initiatives!
  74. <Corsava> $1d10
  75. <Navi> Corsava: You rolled 1 Die with 10 Sides. Result: 2. Successes: 0.
  76. <DM> $init 1d10 Bloodwind
  77. <Navi> DM: Bloodwind's initiative roll has been entered. They rolled: 2.
  78. <DM> $init 1d10 Koume
  79. <Navi> DM: Koume's initiative roll has been entered. They rolled: 3.
  80. <DM> $init 1d10 Kotake
  81. <Navi> DM: Kotake's initiative roll has been entered. They rolled: 6.
  82. <Corsava> $init 1d10 Corsava
  83. <Corsava> $init 1d10
  84. <Navi> Corsava: Your initiative roll has been entered. You rolled: 8.
  85. <DM> $init s
  86. <Navi> Round 1: Corsava, Kotake, Koume and Bloodwind
  87. <DM> Bloodwind: 35h, 18m | Sithe temporarily MIA
  88. <DM> Koume: 30h, 30m |
  89. <DM> Kotake: 30h, 30m |
  90. <DM> [Kotake]: What's the plan, boss lady?
  91. <Corsava> Corsava: 9h, 8m| Judge me by my size, do you?
  92. <DM> [Koume]: Hey, who're you callin' boss lady?!w
  93. <DM> [Kotake]: Certainly not you, you wrench!
  94. <Corsava> "Plan? He has crazy bullshit for defensive abilities, and I don't think they use any action economy at all!
  95. <DM> [Koume]: Oh, you old hag, you couldn't bend a spoon with a ratchy old monkey!
  96. <DM> [Kotake]: What does that even mean?!
  97. <Corsava> "It means we need to...oh fuck it."
  98. <DM> *Your support team seems to no longer be targeting Bloodwind.
  99. * Corsava walks up to Bloodwind while he's seemingly incapacitated
  100. <DM> *He's not actually incapacitated, you know.
  101. <DM> *He's just... unusually quieter.
  102. <Corsava> Oh, XD
  103. <DM> *You do hear incoherent mumblings from him. They're not like Sithe's whispers though. They're more like... the ramblings of a madman.
  104. * Corsava activates Spirit Power
  105. <DM> [Bloodwind]: Yes, yes, the masters shall be destroyed, pain entangling, the very right of existence blasphemised by the incarnation of incongruence...
  106. <Corsava> "...Oh buddy, you listen to too much Creed."
  107. <DM> *His hooded visage looks up at you, and... through your newly activated Spirit Power... the shroud of darkness isn't completely blocking his face anymore. It's still hard to tell, but there appears to be an actual person in there, believe it or not.
  108. * Corsava charges the weird spell thing
  109. <DM> *You begin charging, and out from Koume and Kotake spill out a bit of their blood and a boatload of their magic onto the ground.
  110. <DM> [Koume]: *cough hack* Hey, warn us if yer using our abilities, will ya?!
  111. <DM> [Kotake]: *wheeze* Herghk, I've had better days...
  112. <Corsava> "Wha- Oh! Fuck that's right it uses your- sorry!"
  113. <DM> *Your hearts and magic is unaffected by that ability's cost.
  114. <DM> ($endturn)
  115. <Corsava> $endturn
  116. <Navi> Round 1: Corsava, Kotake, Koume and Bloodwind
  117. <DM> Koume: 25h, 15m |
  118. <DM> Kotake: 25h, 15m |
  119. <DM> [Kotake]: Well, why don't we open up this little runt of a man, who thinks the can take on our great son, the true king?
  120. <DM> *She switches over to Spirit Mode on her broom, then prepares a chunk of Glacial Ice.
  121. <DM> [Kotake]: See how you like this, you broken soul!
  122. <DM> $53d10 Kotake
  123. <Navi> DM: You rolled 53 Dice with 10 Sides. Total: 276. Successes: 34.
  124. <DM> $36d10 Bloodwind
  125. <Navi> DM: You rolled 36 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 10, 10, 6, 10, 7, 9, 9, 1, 4, 9, 3, 5, 2, 8, 5, 8, 5, 2, 2, 2, 4, 9, 5, 5, 7, 5, 7, 9, 10, 4, 3, 9, 3, 8, 9 and 10. Total: 224. Successes: 30.
  126. <DM> *Kotake's attack lands on Bloodwind! He appears to be mildly frozen solid!
  127. <DM> [Kotake]: Hmph, all bark, no bite! Unlike Koume over here...
  128. <DM> [Koume]: HEY!
  129. <Corsava> "Koume, that was a compliment."
  130. <DM> *Kotake spends the other action preparing for the Summoning Ritual.
  131. <DM> [Koume]: Aww, thank you deary, so sweet of you.
  132. <DM> $endturn
  133. <Navi> Round 1: Corsava, Kotake, Koume and Bloodwind
  134. <DM> [Koume]: Now, enjoy a bit of fire in your life!
  135. <Corsava> USE SPIRIT MODE!
  136. <DM> *Koume also goes for Spirit Mode on her broom, then launches a Lava Beam at the icy Bloodwind!
  137. <DM> [Koume]: You're silent now, but you won't be after this!
  138. <DM> $40d10 Koume
  139. <Navi> DM: You rolled 40 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 6, 8, 10, 9, 6, 3, 4, 7, 1, 8, 5, 5, 9, 6, 7, 3, 5, 2, 8, 1, 6, 4, 10, 6, 7, 2, 4, 10, 9, 3, 9, 5, 10, 9, 4, 6, 1, 8, 2 and 2. Total: 230. Successes: 30.
  140. <DM> $36d10 Bloodwind
  141. <Navi> DM: You rolled 36 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 5, 7, 6, 4, 3, 3, 6, 7, 4, 3, 8, 10, 7, 7, 5, 3, 9, 9, 2, 7, 1, 1, 2, 1, 9, 5, 6, 10, 3, 8, 1, 7, 4, 7, 1 and 6. Total: 187. Successes: 23.
  142. <DM> [Bloodwind]: ... there we go.
  143. <DM> 30 - 23 = 7 + 6 = 13 - 12 = 1 damage, which also gets reflected
  144. <DM> *The flames are about to reduce Bloodwind's armor, but you instead see the color of his cloak from red to dark gray.
  145. <DM> Red Cloak:
  146. <DM> EFFECT: When you’re hit by an attack, you can negate the effect entirely.
  147. <DM> Afterwards, change the cloak from red to dark gray.
  148. <DM> [Koume]: Err, that's not how fire works...
  149. <DM> *Koume uses an action to charge.
  150. <DM> $endturn
  151. <Navi> Round 1: Corsava, Kotake, Koume and Bloodwind
  152. <DM> *Annnd Koume siphoned a magic as well.
  153. <DM> [Bloodwind]: My turn.
  154. <Corsava> "...not if I use my hacks to skip your turn by forcing Windstrike's computer to $endturn!"
  155. <Corsava> "...but I don't know how, so..."
  156. <DM> *Your input fails to register on Navi.
  157. <DM> *Bloodwind does a Super Spin Attack!
  158. <DM> This uses your weapon’s standard attack roll + 15 dice
  159. <DM> Damage: Halved
  160. <DM> EFFECT: Select an attack from one of the weapons, and add both its Dice & Damage Modifiers to the attack.
  161. <DM> *This hits all three of you!
  162. <DM> $84d10 Bloodwind
  163. <Navi> DM: You rolled 84 Dice with 10 Sides. Total: 483. Successes: 65.
  164. <DM> (Courage to defend)
  165. <Corsava> I...die?
  166. <DM> [Kotake]: Koume...
  167. <DM> [Koume]: Yes, Kotake.
  168. <Corsava> $44d10
  169. <Navi> Corsava: You rolled 44 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 1, 2, 4, 4, 9, 10, 1, 3, 6, 2, 1, 2, 9, 10, 9, 3, 8, 2, 3, 2, 6, 2, 4, 1, 6, 2, 10, 3, 8, 10, 3, 8, 2, 7, 1, 1, 7, 2, 3, 2, 3, 3, 3 and 1. Total: 189. Successes: 19.
  170. <DM> [Kotake]: I think we messed up slightly.
  171. <DM> *And, if you get hit, you suffer -7 armor.
  172. <DM> $30d10 Kotake
  173. <Navi> DM: You rolled 30 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 3, 2, 4, 1, 3, 6, 3, 9, 7, 6, 9, 3, 8, 9, 6, 5, 9, 8, 3, 10, 5, 4, 10, 1, 5, 3, 3, 7, 6 and 6. Total: 164. Successes: 20.
  174. <DM> $40d10 Koume
  175. <Navi> DM: You rolled 40 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 8, 8, 7, 2, 9, 10, 7, 1, 8, 4, 7, 6, 7, 4, 4, 2, 9, 2, 10, 1, 2, 4, 4, 1, 5, 9, 3, 7, 6, 8, 2, 3, 6, 9, 4, 4, 8, 1, 5 and 5. Total: 212. Successes: 24.
  176. <DM> 65 - 20 = 45/2 rounded = 23 to Kotake
  177. <DM> 65 - 24 = 41/2 rounded = 21 to Koume
  178. <DM> *Both Koume and Kotake baaaarely hang on to life.
  179. <DM> Bloodwind: 35h, 17m | Sithe temporarily MIA | Back to Red Cloak
  180. <DM> Koume: 3h, 13m | 1 Action Charged | -7 Armor
  181. <DM> Kotake: 2h, 12m | 1 Action Charged | -7 Armor
  182. <DM> $endturn
  183. <Navi> Round 1 Over!
  184. <Navi> Round 2: Corsava, Kotake, Koume and Bloodwind
  185. * Corsava becomes jelly on the wall
  186. <DM> Bloodwind: 35h, 17m | Sithe temporarily MIA | Back to Red Cloak | -8 Courage
  187. <Orithan> 65 - 19 = (46-Armor)/2 Damage
  188. <DM> *Corsava, you're blasted back by the intense wave of doom, only to become decorations on the Spirit Temple. However, your Dark Mark kicks in from what remains of your corpse...
  189. <DM> [Koume]: Sis, I'm thinking we don't have time to fasttrack the summoning ritual.
  190. <DM> [Kotake]: Yes, I know. We should've used the darn thing before talking to Bloodwind about his master plan...
  191. <DM> [Koume]: And who's fault was that?!
  192. <Corsava> Corsava 3h, 3m | Ow
  193. <DM> [Kotake]: I think... Corsava's actually.
  194. <Corsava> "Yeah, that one's on me."
  195. <DM> [Koume]: HAH, you admit we had no influence on it! We are BLAMELESS!
  196. <Corsava> "I'm fully aware."
  197. <DM> *Koume says this with her blood dripping all over the temple floor.
  198. <Corsava> "Either of you got a plan, because at the moment, mine is to pop you both back into my head and uh...relocate.
  199. <DM> [Bloodwind]: They didn't listen, they didn't heed my words, my warnings, I didn't want to kill them, but here we are, here they are, and here lies another corpse on the wall.
  200. <DM> *He's still doing the mad rambling.
  201. <DM> [Koume]: Well, I was going to down a potion first, but-
  202. <Corsava> "So...wait, if we die, can Ganon even be returned like he needs?"
  203. <DM> [Kotake]: Save the potions for Corsava, you idiot, get back in there!
  204. <DM> [Koume]: Without our spirits...
  205. <DM> [Kotake]: No.
  206. <Corsava> "So, for him, this fight is kind of a lose-lose?"
  207. <Corsava> "Either he kills us and ruins his whole plan, or he loses the fight, and it ruins his whole plan?
  208. <DM> [Kotake]: Yet here we are, with him out for our blood!
  209. <DM> [Koume]: I don't know what goes on in a madman's head, what do you think I am, crazy?
  210. <DM> [Kotake]: ...
  211. * Corsava puts the Blast mask onto the front of the Trident
  212. * Corsava loads the trident into the bow
  213. <Corsava> "It targets power, you soyboy."
  214. <DM> *Nearby, you hear someone speaking to you. Not Koume, not Kotake, but... you think you can hear one of the Gerudo spirits talking to you.
  215. <DM> [Gerudo Spirit]: The real one isn't here...
  216. * Corsava sighs "For fuck's sake, what do you mean?"
  217. <DM> *You see her try to speak again, but you can't hear it. Instead you just hear Interloper whispers starting to ramp back up.
  218. <DM> *Sithe isn't back yet, but you notice Bloodwind's shadow starting to take a mildly cohesive form.
  219. <Corsava> You know what, screw it [takes the mask off the trident and just shoots at the Twilight Fairy in Bloodwind's Inventory...if that works]
  220. <DM> [Bloodwind]: You know, I never did trust anyone...
  221. <Corsava> $55d10
  222. <Navi> Corsava: You rolled 55 Dice with 10 Sides. Total: 285. Successes: 34.
  223. <Corsava> "Well, I'm sorry, because I tried to be trustworthy."
  224. <DM> *You load your trident into the bow, then launch it, expecting it to dive straight into Bloodwind's inventory. However, he just... stands there. Doesn't even try to defend this.
  225. <DM> [Bloodwind]: Enjoy your break.
  226. <DM> *The trident pierces straight through him!
  227. <DM> *Annnd it turns out to be a displacement clone.
  228. <DM> *The clone vanishes. You no longer hear the whispers.
  229. * Corsava shrugs "Any idea what happened?"
  230. <DM> *On the other side of the temple, your trident thuds into the wall. You hear the trident itself screaming out as it mildly fractures.
  231. <DM> [Koume]: Oh, we'd heard of this ability, never truly seen it ourselves.
  232. <DM> [Kotake]: Bloodwind is known for always getting away, we weren't sure how he did it, until now...
  233. <DM> [Koume]: This is great now, we can refresh ourselves, and finish the ritual!
  234. <DM> [Kotake]: Yes, finish now, before he returns!
  235. <DM> $init r
  236. <Navi> DM: The bot has been reset.
  237. <Corsava> "Uh huh...sure. Hey, quick question. Who all do you know?"
  238. <DM> *The -7 armor fades from your statuses.
  239. <DM> [Koume]: Well, hmm...
  240. <DM> [Kotake]: All the Gerudo in town...
  241. <DM> [Koume]: All the cats at the Hyrule market...
  242. <Corsava> "Well, do you know Midna?"
  243. <DM> [Kotake]: Some burly, feisty fellows from Kakariko, heh heh heh...
  244. <DM> [Koume]: Midnight?
  245. <Corsava> "Damn, didn't think so."
  246. <DM> *They each raise a brow at that.
  247. <Corsava> "She's cute. Orange hair? Black and blue skin?"
  248. <Corsava> "...about yae big?"
  249. <DM> *They each proceed to share a Red Medicine and a Chateau Romani with each of you. You're all back at full hearts and magic.
  250. * Corsava raises her hand in an approximation of Midna's height
  251. <DM> [Kotake]: ... Koume, do you know of any "mid nay"?
  252. <DM> [Koume]: Can't say that I do or have, not that my foggy ol' memory would ever remember...
  253. <DM> [Kotake]: Then there's that Link fellow...
  254. <DM> [Koume]: Or that Sheik-
  255. <DM> [Kotake]: You idiot, that's Zelda.
  256. <DM> [Koume]: WHHAAAAAAAAA?
  257. <DM> [Koume]: SHE WAS A DUDE THIS WHOLE TIME?!
  258. <DM> *Kotake proceeds to face-palm.
  259. <Corsava> "Wait? ZELDA?! The legendary elf hero guy?"
  260. <DM> *Koume and Kotake both do a slow head turn towards you.
  261. * Corsava is fucking with them, but knows they have no reason to think she knows anything about anyone
  262. <DM> [Kotake]: ... Koume, dear, remind me why we're entrusting ourselves to this... prude.
  263. <DM> [Koume]: ... I don't know, sis. I don't know...
  264. <DM> [Kotake]: Wait, why are you asking about who we know?
  265. <Corsava> "Prude? What does sex have to do with this?"
  266. <DM> [Koume]: We only need our son, deary.
  267. <DM> [Kotake]: WHAT?!
  268. <Corsava> "Because our ritual will summon ANYONE we know in common."
  269. <Corsava> "I was just wondering what that all entai-"
  270. <Corsava> "You know...someone who has a negative view of sex is a prude?"
  271. <Corsava> "You called me it, so..."
  272. <DM> *They both slowly turn their heads back at each other.
  273. * Corsava sighs.
  274. <DM> [Koume]: ... Did you just imply I'm a PRUDE?
  275. <DM> [Kotake]: WHAT DO YOU EXPECT YOU'LL DO WITH THOSE BAGGY JEANS ON YOUR SKIN, EHH?
  276. <Corsava> Prude. Noun. Someone who is or claims to be easily shocked by matters relating to sex or nudity.
  277. <Corsava> "YOU CALLED ME A-"
  278. * Corsava takes a deep breath.
  279. <DM> [Koume]: AT LEAST I STILL HAVE VIGOR, SOMETHING YOU'VE CLEARLY LOST, YOU IMPUDENT BAG OF SACKS!
  280. * Orithan facepalms from the fourth wall
  281. <Corsava> "Well, at least we know we're all from the same One Family."
  282. <DM> [Kotake]: DON'T SPEAK ABOUT MY MOTHER THAT WAY!
  283. <Corsava> "So...then, we go for Ganon, then? And hope he's in a good mood, I suppose."
  284. <DM> [Koume]: Yes yes, of course, our son. And not your mother.
  285. <Corsava> "Alright, well, I was hoping- Wait, you know my mother?"
  286. <DM> [Kotake]: Of course not, you braindamaged- what?
  287. <DM> [Koume]: No, her mother-... what?
  288. <Corsava> Hey! Her mother is not braindamaged!
  289. <DM> [Kotake]: I didn't say that-
  290. <DM> [Koume]: YOU IMPUDENT LITTLE-!
  291. <DM> *She grabs her broom and tries to whack her with it.
  292. <DM> $10d10 Koume
  293. <Navi> DM: You rolled 10 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 10, 3, 9, 4, 1, 9, 3, 3, 10 and 1. Total: 53. Successes: 6.
  294. <DM> $10d10 Kotake
  295. <Navi> DM: You rolled 10 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 7, 5, 4, 3, 1, 2, 2, 1, 6 and 7. Total: 38. Successes: 4.
  296. * Corsava separates them both, physically
  297. <DM> *Koume proceeds to broomslap Kotake across the face, cleaning a bit of dust off her age while she's at iit.
  298. <Corsava> "Stop fighting, you two."
  299. <DM> [Kotake]: Hey, she ruined my beautiful skin!
  300. <Corsava> "Well, we need Ganon, and that means we need to cooperate."
  301. <DM> [Koume]: Yeah, your crusty-
  302. <DM> *Koume's sentence is thankfully interrupted by a sentence of plot.
  303. <Corsava> "Or, you know, we could just...lay here and wait to die."
  304. <DM> [Kotake]: Yes... Let us finish the ritual.
  305. <Corsava> "I have the lens of truth, so nobody would ever find this place."
  306. <Corsava> Alright, ritual it is then.
  307. <DM> *Koume raises an eyebrow at your comment, but decides not to delay any further.
  308. * Corsava does the ritual thing
  309. <DM> *The three of you stand in a triad at the edge of the circle. Each of you put out your hands towards the center, your dark marks glowing their brooding purple...
  310. <DM> *Like before, when you teleported into the light and darkness earlier, dark arrows slither outwards from your respective hands, pulling a bit of your blood along with it.
  311. <DM> [Kotake]: Think of our son, sis.
  312. <DM> [Koume]: Yes, sis. Our son.
  313. <Corsava> "You both know I've never met Ganon before, right?"
  314. <DM> *Both do a snapping head turn.
  315. <Corsava> "Just...making sure I don't need to have."
  316. <DM> [Kotake]: WHAT?!
  317. <DM> [Koume]: WHAT?!
  318. <Corsava> "It's different because I'm supposed to be like, a conduit to his power or something, right?"
  319. <DM> *At that moment, each dark arrow reaches an inner triad, forming a symbol of a black Triforce at the center of the spell circle. You all feel a jerking pain, as if the dark arrows are pulling your very veins towards the center.
  320. <DM> [Kotake]: How did you not know him?!
  321. <DM> [Koume]: He gave you that power, you HAD to have met him!
  322. <Corsava> "Oh, wow, I was like, a little girl back then. That's kind of fucked up."
  323. <DM> *You now recall of PTSD no jutsu as the pain jolts your memories to the surface...
  324. <DM> *You're back in the Gerudo Fortress. It's far more lively, an actual higher people to housing ratio, even some degree of palm forestation gracing some of the sandstone houses.
  325. <DM> *You see some boy[/kratos] running around, trying to play on the streets, but Gerudo tradition and royalty pulled him away.
  326. * Corsava watches my memory/vision/NamFlashbacks
  327. <DM> *You flash forward through a number of childhood memories, before eventually confronting him as adults- wait a minute, these aren't your memories.
  328. <DM> *He's become the king of the Gerudo. A war has just begun, and you feel sickened that he would stoop to such dark powers to try and acquire the Triforce. You rejected him.
  329. <DM> *Another flash forward, after the Gerudo have just suffered a major loss, its streets nearly as barren as the harsh desert itself.
  330. <DM> *You stand by idly as Ganondorf imbues his dark magics into civilians, even children. You stare at one in particular, who stares back at you, only to stare at yourself staring at you...
  331. <DM> *The memories transition from someone else's memories of you into your own memories of you staring back at said person's memories of you.
  332. <DM> *You then look up, once more as a child, up towards the grand figure of King Ganondorf.
  333. <Corsava> [sploosh]
  334. <DM> *He looks down upon you, his head blocking the sun itself as his yellow eyes glow and-
  335. <DM> ...
  336. <DM> *The memory ends, the ritual ends, you die a horrible death, and your corpse is served to a parade of virgins about to be sacrificed to a volcano, THE END.*
  337. <DM> *Okay, back to uhh... non-sploosh. AHEM.
  338. <DM> *It's then that you were given your powers... by King Ganondorf. You remember him vividly. A little, uhh... ahem, TOO vividly... you pervert.
  339. <DM> *Your memories jump forward to the murder of your family, by own hands- okay, I can't take that seriously after that.
  340. <DM> somehow
  341. <DM> we just implied the reason Corsava killed her family
  342. <DM> is cause they didn't approve
  343. <DM> of Corsava's love for Ganondorf
  344. <DM> .......
  345. <DM> WELCOME TO ZURPG FOLKS, WHERE THERE'S SHENANIGANS AROUND EVERY CORNER
  346. <DM> *You try to hold onto these memories, but they're sacrificed to the blood gods- NO NOT THAT KIND OF BLOOD, YOU PERVERT.
  347. <Corsava> ...wow, just because my character's a chick, blood gods are perverted.
  348. <DM> *They're sacrificed for power, the power to bring back your... sigh... old love from the seal of the Sacred Realm.
  349. <Corsava> XD
  350. <Corsava> I'm dying
  351. <DM> *You're snapped back to reality, and the black triforce emblem glows in a black light and shoots upwards. There, above, a barrier appears.
  352. * Corsava realizes I'm literally just here to round out the numbers to 3
  353. <DM> *Dark, blue stormy clouds appear on the ceiling, then part as the black light breaks their way through. Looking beyond, you realize you're peering into a different realm... a... sacred realm...
  354. <DM> *You suddenly feel heavy. The air itself seems to distort as you feel the very temple itself being pulled towards the Sacred Realm above.
  355. <DM> [Kotake]: Corsavaaa... we need more... more poooooweeeeeer...
  356. <DM> [Koume]: It's not enough! We're going to be sucked in, consuuuuumed, and devoured by the heavens!
  357. * Corsava "Well...is there something I can do about that?"
  358. <DM> *Your dark mark flares, consuming your whole hand in blackness.
  359. <DM> ...
  360. <DM> darkness- okay.... that was not intended to come out racially insensitive
  361. <DM> especially given Ganondorf's skin color is darker than a normal Gerudo's...
  362. <DM> .......
  363. <DM> *Would you like to cast Pure Madness?
  364. * Corsava would in fact, like to cast Pure Madness
  365. <DM> *You feel the primordial urges of own blood boil from within. It's different than your usual attempts at Pure Madness. It's more like... when you absorbed the madness from Majora's Mask itself.
  366. <DM> (it would seem my writing is not at its finest tonight)
  367. <DM> (I'm just gonna blame you)
  368. <Corsava> (XD)
  369. <DM> *But, unlike before, Koume and Kotake are here to help- no, nevermind, they're gravity'd to the ground.
  370. <DM> *They appear to have forgotten their brooms.
  371. <DM> *Cause they're frigin' idiots.
  372. <DM> *You feel yourself giving in to the mad thoughts and the intense pain, but then you feel a hand on your own hand. Nationwide is on your side- err.
  373. <DM> *The hands of many Gerudo spirits hold you back, preventing you from falling into complete and utter madness. Their collective unity within you powers both your powers of Darkness Incarnate, and your spiritual energy.
  374. <DM> *For a moment, you feel a surge of power, one that goes beyond the limitations of either the darkness or the light...
  375. <DM> *The gravity effect intensifies, but this time, the spirit temple is pulling down something from the Sacred Realm...
  376. <DM> *The distortions intensify, blocking your view as air itself blurs itself into oblivion.
  377. <DM> *Soon enough, the droning sound ends, and you all feel yourselves free of the weight of the world. You fall to the ground, catching your breath as the spell circle vanishes.
  378. <DM> *There, looking up... you see him...
  379. <DM> *Shia Labeouf.
  380. <DM> .... wait, wrong guy
  381. <DM> *You look up, and standing between you all is the one and only Black King, the King of Thieves, the King of Second Bananas...
  382. <DM> *The grizzled Gerudo man opens his eyes for the first time in many years, and he looks down upon you, his... lessee, official lore puts his height at 9 feet.
  383. <DM> *Corsava, you feel a little small, even from one Gerudo to another. You look up and see his gray hair- wait, didn't he have red hair before?
  384. * Corsava looks up at him
  385. <DM> *His yellow eyes glow and gaze down upon you, just like they did uhh... what's the math- oh right, 20 years ago.
  386. * Corsava is wide eyed, and trying not to tremble in awe before his majesty
  387. <DM> *He looks... slightly less majestic than he should. He's not wearing any fancy armor or cape, or even any jewelry on his head, like you remember from 20 years ago. It's just an aged Ganondorf in black clothes and a chainmail.
  388. <DM> *He opens his mouth to speak. You hear a voice of indifference, yet with conviction.
  389. <DM> [Ganondorf]: You. Gerudo. What is your name?
  390. <Corsava> "My name is Corsava."
  391. <DM> *He doesn't flinch at the mention of your name.
  392. <DM> [Ganondorf]: The boy who survived-
  393. * DM fixes that.
  394. <DM> [Ganondorf]: The one who survived...
  395. <DM> [Ganondorf]: Are you the one who called upon me, young one?
  396. <Corsava> "Yes, I am."
  397. <DM> *He looks down at your blackened hand, still covered entirely by the dark mark.
  398. <DM> [Ganondorf]: You have done well to master the powers of darkness, young one.
  399. <DM> [Ganondorf]: From now, I am your-
  400. <DM> [Kotake]: MY SON!
  401. <DM> [Koume]: PUMPKIN DEAR!
  402. <Corsava> "I mean, to be perfectly fair, I'm more of a journeywoman of the power of darkness.
  403. <DM> *From behind, Koume and Kotake are about to hug Ganondorf. Without even turning around though, there's that same gravity effect. It flattens both Koume and Kotake to the ground, preventing them from moving.
  404. <DM> [Kotake]: Err... if you would, dear son... I would like to move again.
  405. <DM> [Koume]: I think my spine just snapped...
  406. <DM> *The gravity effect lessens, enough for Koume and Kotake to slink away.
  407. <DM> *You notice a glow from the back of Ganondorf's right hand as he manipulates the gravity around him.
  408. <Corsava> "That sounded like it hurt..."
  409. <DM> [Ganondorf]: They've endured far worse. A little pain is nothing for those old hags.
  410. <DM> [Kotake]: Oh, how sweet, he called us old hags, our dear son!
  411. <DM> [Koume]: How he's grown, kyeheheheh!
  412. <DM> *Kotake scrambles over to Ganondorf's side, grabbing him by his right hand. She pleads with him.
  413. <DM> [Kotake]: Please, my son-
  414. <DM> [Ganondorf]: King.
  415. <DM> *He still doesn't look at them.
  416. <DM> [Ganondorf]: You will address me by King.
  417. <DM> *You see Kotake, for once, tear up slightly. She looks away as she calls out to her son...
  418. <DM> [Kotake]: Please, King, it's been so long. Won't you please look your mothers?
  419. <DM> *Ganondorf shifts his gaze just slightly towards Kotake.
  420. <DM> [Kotake]: We... Koume and I, we've been awaiting your return for so long!
  421. <DM> [Ganondorf]: ... how long?
  422. <DM> [Koume]: 4 years! 4 whole years, we were without you!
  423. <DM> [Ganondorf]: 4 years...?
  424. <DM> *He reaches out for Kotake. She looks so happy...
  425. <DM> *He hand grips around her throat. Her eyes pop out a little more than what looks healthy. Then again, they already were unusually popped out before...
  426. * Corsava watches a healthy Gerudo family interaction
  427. <DM> [Ganondorf]: 4 years? Does it look like it's been 4 years for me?
  428. <DM> *A bowl of popcorn drops in your lap as you watch the cinematic unfold before you.
  429. <DM> [Koume]: H-h-hey, son- err m'lord, don't take it out on her, your gray hair looks just absolutely dazzling- errugh!
  430. <DM> *The back of his hand glows again, and Koume falls to the floor, threatened to be crushed by a concentrated force of gravity.
  431. <Corsava> "They're right, it's nice. You've got kind of a silver-fox thing going on." [please choke me daddy Ganondorf]
  432. <DM> *You try to keep that last part in your thoughts, but you're so stunned, your love pours out of your lips and you end up whispering that. Audibly.
  433. <DM> *As Koume and Kotake are gargling their ancient years to death, Ganondorf just stares blankly ahead, then turns his head back towards you, not letting up on the strangulation and gravity effect.
  434. <DM> [Ganondorf]: ...
  435. <DM> [Ganondorf]: ... King.
  436. <Corsava> "Why do you prefer king? Why not Emperor? or Pharaoh?"
  437. * Corsava whispers "or daddy"
  438. <DM> [Ganondorf]: Because-
  439. <DM> *He tries to ponder for a moment, but his thought process is completely interrupted by uhh... uhhhh...... "daddy".
  440. <Corsava> "You've been away for so long, you can't tell me you haven't been lonely this whole time..."
  441. * Corsava tries to slowly approach him, shifting as I stride forward
  442. <DM> [Ganondorf]: I will pardon your- ... what are you doing.
  443. <Corsava> "...coming onto you?"
  444. <DM> [Ganondorf]: Daughter of mine, I will pardon your... speech. You have-
  445. <DM> . . .
  446. <DM> *Koume & Kotake regain their sense of life as Ganondorf releases his grip on them.
  447. <DM> [Ganondorf]: What dastardly madness has gone on in my absence?
  448. <Corsava> "Well, a lot of bullshit." [tells him everything she knows like a good little exposition-daughter]
  449. <DM> *10 HOURS OF EXPOSITION LATER- err
  450. <DM> *You cover a history of what's happened in his four years of absence... which uhh... uhhh....
  451. <DM> *Given your knowledge of history, uhh...
  452. <DM> *More like 10 seconds of exposition, or lack thereof
  453. <Corsava> "...so then Windstrike decided to have Bloodwind run away, and we summoned you, which brings us to now."
  454. * DM scribbles out the part about WindStrike and replaces it with "a plot of utter convenience"
  455. <Corsava> "Long story short, there's this crazy guy that wants to kill the gods and doesn't know that he's actually the puppet of one of them, kind of like how I'm really just a puppet for you, if you'd care to tug on my strings."
  456. <DM> [Ganondorf]: I see.
  457. <DM> *You fail to impress Ganondorf on a level of uhh... desire.
  458. <DM> [Ganondorf]: And this fool that would think to challenge the gods... is he here still?
  459. <Corsava> "Alive? Yeah. Present? Who knows."
  460. <DM> [Bloodwind]: Well if you must know...
  461. <Corsava> "At any rate, he seemed pretty confident that you wouldn't be a threat to him, which likely means he's got something autistic planned."
  462. <DM> *Walking back into sight is the blasted figure of Bloodwind, though with your Spirit Vision, you can tell that you're just looking purely at an illusion.
  463. <DM> [Bloodwind]: Yes, I am still here. In a sense.
  464. <Corsava> "Oh boy, it's an illusion of him. Yaaaay. How did I not know that earlier?"
  465. <DM> (cause the one you were looking at earlier was the real Bloodwind)
  466. <DM> (if you were looking at an illusion, I would've said so with your Spirit Vision)
  467. <DM> [Bloodwind]: So that's the esteemed Ganondorf? Huh, seems a little older than the pictures say. You get a little crop top off your head while in the heavens?
  468. <DM> [Ganondorf]: I sense something. A presence I have not felt since...
  469. <DM> [Bloodwind]: Come now, don't be a shy-
  470. <DM> *Ganondorf holds out his hand, and in an instant, a breadth of gravity crushes the illusion of Bloodwind, whisking it and his annoying temperament away.
  471. <DM> [Ganondorf]: This Bloodwind. Is he... an Interloper?
  472. <Corsava> [grins] That was so hot.
  473. <Corsava> No, he's an interloper's bitch.
  474. <DM> *You feel the ground beneath you shake. There's the glow from the back of his hand. This time, you notice... it's the glow of the Triforce of Power.
  475. * Corsava glances at it
  476. <Corsava> "Woah, sick tattoo, my King."
  477. <DM> [Ganondorf]: I'm going to personally crush him and every last one of his kind. Repentance for my daughters.
  478. <Corsava> "Oh, I don't think that word means what you think it means."
  479. <DM> [Ganondorf]: ...
  480. <DM> [Ganondorf]: Corsava... get me...
  481. <DM> [Ganondorf]: A dictionary.
  482. <Corsava> "Repentance, Noun, the action of repenting; sincere regret or remorse."
  483. <Corsava> "You could say 'vengeance' for your daughters."
  484. <Corsava> "Or perhaps revenge"
  485. <Corsava> "But Repentance doesn't quite fit.
  486. <DM> [Ganondorf]: Yes. Vengeance, then.
  487. <DM> [Ganondorf]: This Bloodwind will face his end now.
  488. <Corsava> "You should be wary, he has the power to redirect attacks unto the attacker."
  489. <DM> *He holds out his hand to the side. You see the Triforce of Power glow again, though you don't see anything else actually happen.
  490. <Corsava> "It's complete fucking bullshit."
  491. <DM> *From off in the distance, you hear a rumbling side. It grows closer and louder, until...
  492. <Corsava> "Use your charged power punch! Destroy those letters!"
  493. <DM> *Suddenly, blasting through the walls of the Spirit Temple, his Black Armor is called to him, attaching and equipping itself to him. As is his cape, and finally, his great King's Claymore. He grabs and wields it with a single hand.
  494. * Corsava looks around at the spirit Gerudo
  495. <DM> [Ganondorf]: Koume, Kotake. Find Bloodwind.
  496. <DM> [Koume]: Y-y-yes, daddy- err M'LORD, KING!
  497. <Corsava> "No need."
  498. <Corsava> "We can summon him."
  499. <DM> [Kotake]: WILL DO- wait we can?
  500. <Corsava> "The three of us have all met him."
  501. <Corsava> "We can use the summoning ritual."
  502. <DM> *Koume and Kotake look at you, then each other, then back at you.
  503. <DM> [Koume]: ... I do believe we've won.
  504. <DM> [Kotake]: AS DO I!
  505. <Corsava> G-Daddy, ready your action to fuck him up when the ritual is done.
  506. <DM> [Ganondorf]: Hmph. Do as you wish.
  507. <DM> *Ganondorf backs up as your three prepare to do a second ritual.
  508. * Corsava sits down with the two of them to perform the ritual
  509. <DM> [Koume]: *whispering* He seems to really respect you, Corsavy!
  510. <Corsava> "Do you have any bullshit hax that would be useful?"
  511. <DM> [Kotake]: *whispering* What's this about "daddy"?
  512. <Corsava> "You should know that he can dish out at *least* 72 dice on a courage or wisdom attack."
  513. <Corsava> "But his Power stat is abysmal. Even my meagre strength reveals him as the soyboy he is."
  514. <DM> [Ganondorf]: Stop stalling and do the ritual. I shall mete him in battle and test his sword myself.
  515. * Corsava performs the ritual with them
  516. <DM> *The three of you perform the ritual, repeating the steps from before.
  517. <Corsava> "It's simple, Kotake, if I'm a "daughter of Ganon" that makes him my father."
  518. <Corsava> "But, if my mother is a daughter of Ganon, it also makes him my uncle..."
  519. <Corsava> "And if she had a mother, that also makes him my grandpa."
  520. <Corsava> "And if I have a niece, then he must also be my brother."
  521. <Corsava> "And if she has a daughter, he must be my nephew as well."
  522. <Corsava> "We Gerudo do not have family trees. We are surrounded by a web. A web of women, and surrounding that web is the sea of Ganondorf's familial relation to us."
  523. <DM> *You see the faces of Koume and Kotake shaking, going madder and crazier with connecting all the strings as you explain it to them, all while the ritual is going on.
  524. <DM> [Koume]: So... that means...
  525. <DM> [Kotake]: Our son...
  526. <DM> [Koume]: ...
  527. <DM> [Kotake]: ... is our "daddy".
  528. <DM> [Koume]: And our grandpa.
  529. <Corsava> "Yes. Exactly."
  530. <DM> [Kotake]: And our granny.
  531. <DM> [Koume]: And our husband.
  532. <DM> [Kotake]: And our wife.
  533. <Corsava> No, he can't be a feminine relative
  534. <DM> *The two of them stare in complete silence as the ritual finishes up.
  535. <DM> [Koume & Kotake]: ... sploosh.
  536. <Corsava> "Sploosh indeed."
  537. <DM> *The lose so much focus, the Dark Mark twists back around back into them, piercing each of them through their hearts. Their eyes bulge out and out, thinking of all the possibilities, till the Pure Madness consumes and engulfs both of them in... a sploosh of death.
  538. * Corsava uses Soul Siphon on their corpses
  539. <DM> *Congratulations, Corsava. You blew their minds so much, they just literally exploded.
  540. <DM> *And now, in a sea of blood, as the ritual finishes, it summons Bloodwind into his own PTSD of a scene of literal blood while you greedily siphon their spirits and gain their powers.
  541. <DM> *... and this DM is done.
  542. <DM> *You try to consume more power, but you're blocked by a-
  543. <DM> -=LOADING=-
  544. <DM> -=LOADING=-
  545. <DM> -=SESSION END=-
  546. <DM> THAT'S IT
  547. <DM> WE'RE DONE
  548. <DM> THAT'S THE GAME
  549. <Corsava> XD
  550. <DM> ZURPG IS FINISHED
  551. <DM> NO MORE
  552. <Corsava> The laughter hurts
  553. <DM> I'M FRIGIN' DONE
  554. <DM> THERE'S NO MORE
  555. <SubconsciousEye> reality broke itself many times
  556. <DM> I HAVE NO WORDS
  557. <DM> YOU LITERALLY
  558. <Corsava> The laughter hurts so much
  559. <DM> CAUSED A PAIR OF WITCHES
  560. <DM> TO GROW SO MAD TRYING TO FIGURE OUT THE FAMILY WEB
  561. <DM> THEY LITERALLY EXPLODED
  562. <DM> AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN WAIT TO STEAL THEIR SPIRITS
  563. <DM> YOU MONSTER
  564. <Corsava> I actually killed Koume and Kotake by making them acknowledge that Ganondorf, their son, is also their daddy
  565. <DM> THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO ALL JUST BE A SIDE JOKE
  566. <DM> AND SOMEHOW
  567. <DM> ........
  568. <DM> WHAT THE CRAP MAN
  569. <Corsava> Well, if I didn't siphon them, Bloodwind would've.
  570. <DM> .......
  571. <SubconsciousEye> at this point, you might as well have been an isekai protagonist
  572. <DM> I need a drink.
  573. <DM> a lot of drinks
  574. <Corsava> What's an isekai?
  575. <Corsava> Is that a japan thing?
  576. <SubconsciousEye> it's probably better if you don't go down the rabbit hole
  577. <DM> WE ALREADY WENT DOWN A RABBIT HOLE
  578. <DM> WE CAN'T GO BACK
  579. <SubconsciousEye> true
  580. <DM> ... I'm done. I... I need a break now.
  581. <DM> Excuse me.
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