Strangeflower Academy: A FtM Story, Part Twelve

As the sun set, another long autumn night drawing in, Rebecca found herself impatiently chewing her biro. The homework in front of her wasn't hard, but the confusion in her brain...in her body...in her very identity, was making it almost impossible to concerntrate.

Rowan was sat on the bed, trying to distract himself with his own tasks, but they both knew that tonight would be crucial. He'd told her everything about his earlier meeting with Rex, and their plan to investigate things in the Gym. She was grateful for having found someone like him in such a confusing time, and yet...

She blushed, looking at him. How much had she changed in the past few weeks? Once the idea of approaching any cute boy would have left her stammering, hiding behind her long bangs, her glasses, and her modest dress. But now she was liberated of all that, and she knew she could probably do whatever she wanted with this boy.

So why was she still so nervous? So confused? The drugs had made her this way, yes, but...they couldn't tell her what to think, even if they did influence her feelings.

She closed her eyes, forcing herself to try to examine the issues as clearly as possible. Did she like Rowan? yes. Did she love him? Probably. Then what was she afraid of?

Rejection. But why would he reject her?

She closed the textbook. There was no hope of further study tonight, she decided.

"Rowan..?" she said softly.

"Yeah? Need help with something, Bec?" he said casually. She felt she could sense the discomfort in his voice, though.

"You like me right?"

"Of course. You're smart, hot, cute, uh...you beat me all the time on Smash Bros..."

She chuckled. "I'm not fishing for compliments, relax. Just..if I looked completely different from the way I do now, not ugly but...different, would you still like me? Really think about it, please."

Rowans face turned solemn. "I...think I know what you're asking."

She focused on her now closed textbook, unable to meet his gaze.

"Bec...or Becky...if you're still you in some way, then yes, I like you." he said with care, after a short silence. "I...I think I really, really like you." he blushed at that, awkward now.

She hesitated, trying to resolve something inside of herself. Finally, she relented.

"Rowan...would you be upset if...well...I decided to get a cock?"

The boy stared at her for a while, unsure how to answer.

"I...know its probably this weird chemical soup in my brain talking, and I didn't choose this life or these drugs but.." she pulled at her hair in frustration.

"It feels right. I'm not saying I want to turn into a guy or anything but...maybe something in between. I don't know. You're sweet, and you make me feel so...good...fuck it, you fill me with everything I thought I lacked. Confidence, poise, a new perspective on life. If after all this...I have to go back to being the old Rebecca...I'm not sure I want that anymore."

"Becky...or Bec.."

"Call me whatever makes you comfortable, Row." she said with a smile. "I'm...tired of this confusion. This frustration, and uncertainty. If you'd rather see me as a girl, thats fine. But...I want to find certainty in who I am now. If that means I gotta be a boy or part-boy or something...well, I'll take it."

"I...think I understand." he swallowed. The boy looked so forlorn and crestfallen.

"Do you think- maybe we should-"

Bec hugged him tightly, letting him feel her breasts press against him. She couldn't take it anymore. All these damn emotions. She hadn't lied when she said he was the constant in all of it. What she hadn't said was how damn horny he made her, too.

"Row, if you still want me, I'll fuck your damn brains out. With a cock or without one. What I do for me doesn't have to affect you. If you want to change your mind, I'll understand. But I promise, whatever I become, I'll always be yours, if you want me."

Rowan gulped, looking up into those soulful eyes. Like reflections of his own, he realised. He felt her breasts pressed against him. He knew she was tender there, and felt awkward about them, but they reassured him. Anchors in a confusing world. Touchstones for him to anchor his own sexuality against, he guessed.

Fuck it. What was the saying on the internet? Traps aren't gay, right?

And right now, he wanted to be trapped.

"Rebecca..." he began, but found his own words lost in the moment.

Seeing his own hesitation, Becky came to the rescue. She kissed him, deeply, longingly. She felt her heart pounding.

"Fuck me, you stupid boy. Fuck me right now." she said wantonly. Whatever else came later, Rowan deserved this. She deserved this.

"Whoa-" she pushed him down on her bed, carelessly pushing aside books and rowan's schoolbag.

"What if your roommate comes...or someone hears-"

She deliberately took one of his socks, opened the door, put it on the handle, and then locked the door behind her.

He reddened at that.

"But...teachers..."

"Clearly don't give a fuck. Have you seen how horny half the girls in this school are by now? Maybe not." She admitted. "Stupid boy, always your nose in a book."

"That's not true!" he protested. "I saw you, didnt I?"

"Well, now you're gonna experience me. If you want Rebecca, thats who I'll be tonight. I don't know who I will be tomorrow, but tonight..." she smiled. "We're both getting some."

He gulped. "Are you sure.."

"God, whose the good girl in this relationship?" she teased. She quickly began undoing his belt. He didn't resist.

"I've sucked your cock a few times now, but...gah..." she pulled it free, pleased to see it was already hardening in her firm grip. "Tonight we're gonna do something great with it."

"I don't know..I'm...still kinda a virgin..." he admitted, his face red.

"So am I, bucko. So let's do this." She quickly began stripping out of her skirt and stockings, suprised how liberating it felt, not just to be getting naked, but to be free of stuffy, girly clothing.

Her boyfriend merely gaped as she didn't stop there, quickly stripping off her knickers- she privately resolved never to wear a garment like that ever again- and threw it at him. "Keep em. I won't be needing them."

His eyes were drawn inexorably to her pussy. It was true, it didn't look all that great right now. Or feel that great. Much of her senstivity was gone. The idea of being...penetrated that way felt weird and alien to her. But it was for Row, so that made it easier.

She played with her engorged clit and fat labia. "You...like it? It's...a bit weird, I know...but...whatever, it will feel great on your cock, I promise."

Her bold language masked a deep uncertainty still within her. But, her mind set, she refused to divert from her course. She was going to fuck her boyfriend. For the first, and maybe last time. Who knew what the future would bring, or do to her mind or body?

"You don't have to do this..." he said.

"Say one more word and I will stuff my knickers in your mouth." she warned. "We're doing this. And you're outvoted by your dick, look." she smirked. It was nice to see the sight of her wasn't completely repulsive, at least.

He shut up, and she began to wiggle her hips, though they had lost much of their feminine definition. She took off her shirt, followed by her bra, each garment stripped making her feel more elated, more empowered. Somehow it felt like she was stripping away her old self, and embracing her new self, nude, partly masculine, confident, and very sexual.

"You like these babies?" she shook her tits, though they felt oddly apart from the rest of her body, increasingly numb and weird on her body, even as they seemed to shrink, day by day.

"Go on, touch em. They'll feel good to you, right?"

Nervously, the boy reached up from where he was laying on the bed, and felt her small, perky tits. She shivered. Okay. Maybe she still had some sensitivity left after all...

"Go on. Be rough with em. Slap em about or something." Her voice again spoke with more boldness than she felt. If her parents could only hear her now, she thought. They wouldn't recognise their daughter at all.

Good.

Rowan cautiously began squeezing and kneading her tits, and she began to gyrate against him, straddling him with her thick thighs, confident in her nudity. "Harder. Rougher. I really want to...feel..." she shuddered.

He began to really grip her little tits, squeezing them harder and harder, sending an almost forgotten pulse of pleasure through her boyish chest.

"Yes! Pinch my nipples! Twist em off! Wreck em, damn it!"

"Jeeze, where did you learn to talk so dirty?" he said incredulously. "You sound like one of the girls in...well...you know..."

"Your Hentai games?" she teased, smirking down at him. "I'm not a complete idiot, Row. And no, I ain't judging. Why? Don't you like it?"

"No, it's just...a bit new, is all."

"You've stopped squeezing, cherryboy. We're not playing around here, I want you to really fuck me."

Finally finding his own courage, Rowan began to grind his cock against her wet, bulging pussy-lips, sliding back and forth, though not penetrating just yet.

She leaned down, grinding herself, trying to stimulate her dull womanhood with his ripe dick. She wanted it,  she knew. All confusion seemed to resolve itself around this issue. She wanted his throbbing cock, and she was going to have it.

"You're wet..." he said, suprised. "I mean..."

"Mmm, harder. Tear my tits off!" she said, loving the way his cheeks reddened with each crude, vulgar thing she said. Inside she squirmed and burned, but Bec was loving this.

"Ah...it feels...great..." He began to rub back, thrusting his hard member between her slick sex, while his hands dug into her petite breasts, pulling at them painfully. She felt herself on the verge of a very feminine orgasm for the first time in ages.

"Yes...just...a little more...slide it in...gently...I want to cum all over you..." she begged. She was so close.

With a little grunting and repositioning, her boyfriend eagerly obliged.

"Is it in? Is it in?!" she demanded. "Come on, Rowy, you can...gah...fuck me harder than that..."

She was almost impossibly tight, as even the tip struggled to enter her swollen sex. Frustratingly, her orgasm was just out of reach. Even the added pain, for its all sweetness, wasn't doing the trick. She...needed...something more.

"Come on! All the way! Fuck me till it hurts!" she felt her orgasm hovering just out of reach. He slid deeper into her pussy, and she felt something...giving way, and blood starting to flow. A sense of one last barrier being torn away, in more ways than one, flooded her.

After this, she knew, she could go forward with no regrets. Her girlhood was now a womanhood, which meant it could become a boyhood, if she wanted.

"Oh...shit...you're bleeding...should I stop?"

"Keep going, idiot! Just a hymen! I'll...hnngh...pop your cherry next time..."

As dulled as her pussy was, the pain was starting to overwhelm her, but the pleasure felt so close. If she could just push on through, she knew, she could...she could just...

"Ah...fuck...cum in me, cum in me..."

"I don't have a condom!" he panicked.

"I have pills! Do it! Do it!" she demanded, riding him, though she was bleeding and sore.

Finally, she felt his surge deep inside her, and an incredible feeling of warmth and relief overcame all other sensations. She let out a guttural, breathy moan and a heavy gasp. Even as she came she sounded more man than woman.

Her chest heaved with effort, sweat drenching her slick skin. She gently prised his fingers away from her breasts, slight indentation marks left by his grip. They panted together for a while, his seed deep inside her.

Yet, a tiny kernel of something else had bloomed inside her, even at the moment of orgasm. At the last moment, her mind had filled with images of her fucking him, and filling his asshole with her own seed. Such a graphic, homosexual image might have been what pushed her over the edge. Or it might not have.

Even as she slowly pulled away, his cum dripping from her tight, swollen pussy, her afterglow fading, a sense of clarity settled. She had sought resolution to uncertainty, and in a way it had been found.

"Let me...Let me lie down for a while. I'm...spent..." she husked, pulling her lover in tightly. She held on to him, that last thread of a past life.  The present moment she had sought was bitter-sweet.

Lying beside her boyfriend as night fell outside, and the hubbub of evening activity in the dorm began to fade, she wondered now if she had done the right thing. Rebecca had lost her virginity, and taken Rowan's. But now...yes, now, he decided, he was Bec. Maybe never to be a full male, but certainly, they knew now, never again a full female.


Rowan simply lay in his partner's arms, between their breasts, resting, though he knew the time to leave, and the time for action, would come soon.

But for now, however short now might be, he had her, and he had his own certainty, about himself, and his relationship with her.

They both silently prayed the other would understand.