Love and commentary

I'm just going to write out whatever comes to mind, which is REALLY hard because I just want to stay on topic, but most of the time I just don't. It's a strange feeling to have, one which I won't talk about. Because I refuse to, and there's the wall, like I want to keep writing this poist, but at the same time, there's this pull, this little thought just chipping away at my thoughts going, "C'mon, just a little more this way!" And it's a giant pain in the ass, I'm pretty much stating that I get distracted pretty easily, and the more I think of it, the more I feel like I'm leading myself somewhere. I don't really understand it at all. Yes, there will be those who are gonna be like, "Well, why do you act like you're the best fucking thing in the world!?" And to those people, mainly Telo, who actually asked me that;

Because my fans expect me to be the best. Or at least act like it. I know I'm not the best, I know that there arep lenty of other people more talented or skilled with whatever editing program they choose to work with, but I just do me, and that's pretty much all I can do. Because if I go with what everyone else is talking about, then it's going to be boring form e. why? I don't follow the trends, I just meander on my own way. Sometimes I'll talk about what's bugging me, and sometimes I'll just listen and give feedback.

To this day, I still don't understand my draw, if I have any at all. Daniel Keem, apparently the master appraiser of all things entertaining in his own head, once told me that I'm not entertaining, that I'm boring, boorish, and just sound like a 60 year old man, to which I called his a toddler stuck in a fat bearded mans body who's not Santa Clause, but the other one. Krampus, but not the Krampus, but the little bastard stuck inside the assholes basket. That's who I told him he is.

I just don't know, and morei mportantly, what Telo, Keem, or other haters think of me won't matter much in a month or so as I begin the enlisting process, which means that in comparison, they'll not be that immediately relevant to me or what I'm trying ot do with my life. do I ever have a clear picture? Nope, I try not to, I plan too far ahead and I just get lost in the chaos of it all. I openly accept that I do have a core group of fans, and that maybe I won't reach the big numbers, but then again, I don't have to. I don't have to be some big name, or have the greatest content in the world, or follow whatever theh ell the other commentators are going after. I just have to put a smile on people's faces, and be me. That's all I reall care about.

Another great question Telo posed to me was this; If I stated that my job was to make people laugh, does thatn ot mean that includes people making fun of me to the point of it hurting my feelings? No, it doesn't, and more importantly, Telo's just one single person, out of nearly 6 billion others on the planet. Just one. Daniel keem is just one single person. Colossal is just one single person. I am just one single person. True, they have numbers, but those numbers are dependent on them remaining entertaining in the minds and hearts of their audience, as long as what they do remains entertaining to them as well. Though I remember in the Fouseytube vid that Colossal openly stated that he likes working on videos that are fun, that keep him entertained in the process of making them, and that the Fousey vid wasn't fun for him at all, in fact, he down right hated working on it.

And he does have a point, as long as the videos are fun and entertaining to the creators themselves, it'll show in the work and in the process, translate to their audience as well. That's just how I look at things, if I grow, I grow, if I don't I don't, if I shrink, I shrink. As long as I can entertain myself while making a video or a podcast, or a song, it'll just flow outwards. A really great example of this kind of thinking is towards the end of the RMGDS 32 podcast, where I did the two topic songs, and Daniel and Aidan had a fucking blast with it and were happy with what they heard.

Same with Ento, Brain, hannah, Colossal, pet, and many others. It's in that one piece of advice that I guess I have my draw, that I can maintain a semblance of relevancy. What I don't understand is the misconception that I'm always going to get triggered by people talking about Trump, while, yeah, I have a problem with the guy, I'm not going to go full on rage mode every time someone demands I debate them about Trump. I'm not going to talk about him anymore than I actually have to, because that initial emotional burst has been ridden to its final stage: Hope that he gets impeached.

And that's about it, I mean seriously, there are so many other topics to talk about that interest me, and I can follow a conversation pretty well! The point being is that I try not to dwell on a single topic for too long a time, if I do, than I'm probably onto something. This whole Pewdiepie/disney thing? Absolutely stupid and open and shut. Disney thought he was family friendly, which pewdiepie has NEVER been family friendly, and they finally opened their eyes and went, "Well, shit. That was a thing." Do I have a problem with some of the stuff he's uploaded? Yeah, I do, but why bother rehashing it with people who are just going to talk about the same damned thing, OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN?

there's no point. I'll chat about it for a while if it comes up in conversation and I will indeed, have some points to make, but will it change the outcome ultimately? Nope, things will have happened that are far more important than a Swedish dude who's made out with a blow up doll while dress in leotard with an overly large ick sown on it being dropped by Disney. It's youtube, he does his thing, and that's that.

There are stories so personal to the members of the podcast, that they REALLY do want to talk about, it's just a matter of letting them talk about what they want. Are their going to be people who try to derail a conversation because of one reason or another? Yeah, but as long as the core conversation keeps going on, it won't matter what they try to do. My ad revenue won't be affected, nor will the average amount of views, engagements, or watch get a giant boost because someone screamed "My name is jeff" at the top of their lungs. If anything, I'll just end up muting them and moving on if they get a bit too over the top. Nikachu.

I find myself apart of a few different communities: Commentary, Lets Play, Vloggers, and a few others. With no heavy gravity to keep people coming back, lol. But they do stick around for as long as I entertain them, and I'm alright with that. Will I get butthurt over one or two subs? Nope, complaining doesn't do anything more than irritate both myself and the audience. Have I had to address the issue in various videos? Yup. Have I tried to get the attention of markiplier, leafy, keem, Colossal (Well, I have with this awesome Youtuber, more on that in a minute.) and a few others? Of course,

This brings us to Colossal. Am I relevant to him? I dunno, I just know that on occasion he retweets stuff, I get excited, and Keem becomes a bit more addicted to whatever he puts in that popcorn. Wasn't a dig. Colossal, to me, is doing his own thing, he doesn't live his life based on what's going on in the internet, he has a life, his own friends, a job outside of the internet, and that's fine and dandy. He lives his life the way he see fit, and doesn't let anything deter him otherwise. Have he and I had our moments? Here and there, but its mostly a matter of "Well, we're both pretty big deals on one level or another, so let's get to know each other." And he is a pretty chill guy, no denying that, love him to death like a brother. C.I.C is the O.G. of the Y.T.C.

7777 characters at the beginning of that line.

I've talked to death about Daniel Keem, leafy, and many others. I've wanted to talk about Ento/Robert for a while, so I might as well take this moment to do it while I still have the focus. Need more coffee! Ento and I... Holy shit, I swear to fucking god, we are like the best of friends, and he's been going through a lot, no denying that. But we just clicked, and as soon as we began talking about common interests and what not, as soon as I saw his videos, I was fucking blown away. I worry about him at points because his story is just amazing. I know the server hasn't been as active since he's taken a leave of absence, but I want you to know that my thoughts and prayer are with you my man, and to get well soon, I've still got a ton of stories to tell you, songs to singe, and things about Daniel keem to bitch about.

Milkins, the second in command on my own server, my confidant, my friend, and my veteran member. Mr. Milkins and I have seen some shit, we've been through the heart break and heart fixes as we and many others worked to make the server what it is now; A god damned miracle. It's survived three raids, a nuking and a fourth raid, and the Hotdogs group... that's a lot. Yes, Ento and I have known each other longer, and that does count in it's own massive way, but Milkins and I? Brothers in Discord Arms, Youtubers, and if we had a time machine, guys who inspired the Bill and Ted movies! We can talk for hours on end about a great number of things and Milkins? Buddy? I'll be on discord tonight if you want to get a podcast going, I love making that card, and will make another set of them!

Vex... Vex Vex Vex... she's a very sweet woman, who's had it pretty rough in the Colossal server, she also has her own server, and we get along awesomely! Vex is a very sweet person, she really is, and I'm very relieved that she's safe and sound, seriously. We go back since the beginning and when she left that comment, it scared the shite out of me... But, she's safe and sound and Imma add her on skype when I get the chance to.

I want to end this massive thing on my Lady Love, the one, the only, the woman who makes me laugh, who I can sing to normally without feeling like it's a performance, who's the second half of my heart beat, and I, hers. I love this woman like I love whatever remains of my hair, every second I spend with her, every moment, every kiss we share, every private moment and word exchanged has made me the happiest man of all time, if I were to be any happier, I'd have have ingested a dangerous number of prozac pills and declare myself batmans villain. Ashley is my soulmate, she's the woman in the dream I had when I was fourteen, telling me to come find her, that she'd be waiting for me, to keep searching and never give up. and I'm so glad I never gave up, that I did eventually find her. To me, Ashley is the one, the true one, not the glitchy number of others that might be the one, but turn out to be other numbers, but THE one!

We dance, we laugh, we love, we keep each other warm on the chilly nights, we match so perfectly that it just blows my mind beyond words to describe her.

She is my sun shine,
My only sun shine,
She makes me happy,
When skies are grey,
You'll never know my friends,
How much we love each other,
so my dearest Ashley,
I will forever defend!

Boopadoop!