#PastebinMonday 11/07/2022 Overwhelming Relief Edition

'Sup, doods!

I attempted to start writing this immediately after the last tournament match to get my true emotions about what happened there. There is only one thing that crosses my mind in this moment:

overwhelming relief.

I've felt my tournament performance suffer since I started leading the organization. No normal person will have enough time to set up a tournament and also play optimally during it. I can see a point in the future when I will step down from leading the organization of the major tournaments to focus on playing better in the tournaments, but I have so many other things about myself that I need to fix before I can begin to re-evaluate my current role in the community. Priorities, doods.

I've also said this on stream a few times by now, but I am in massive need of an extended break to catch up on projects that I would like to get done before getting back into the streaming grind, the list of those projects you can find below. Because of yesterday's events, I am poised to take this break sooner rather than later. Until the end of the tournament, I am scaling back my streams to the Friday Night Salt Mines only. I simply cannot maintain attempting to get healthy while attempting to build my stream up to do it full time while maintaining a full time job. There is something mentally wrong with me that is preventing me from having that level of focus and I'm at the point where I want to get some sort of diagnosis once and for all, but I think I gotta get healthy first. Priorities, doods.

Today's (permanent) extra streaming goals:

Goal #4c: catch up on uploading personal bests. My two Easy – S-Hards are in the queue and awaiting thumbnails. We also made a new category in PPL, Easy – Hard, and I have a video for that, as well. I may need to wait until after the tournament.
Goal #5: script and record footage for my Puzzle League tutorial series. I want to compile all of the technical specifications common to the series before working on videos for each individual game. I feel like I will end up writing all of the scripts before filming anything.
Goal #6: clean up my own stream layout. I am brainstorming how I want the final theming to be. I probably want to lean into the Puzzle League aesthetic, but I have multiple ideas rattling around. I don't expect to get to this anytime soon.

S-Hard races on Friday?

That’s my life story for the week. Later, doods!

--Cards