A Heart to Heart

>Hanging out with Kris has certainly been good for Susie
>She never would've guessed how much better she'd feel if she had someone around who'd just listen whenever she started getting pissed at something
>An emotional pillar to lean on when she was dealing with some tough shit at home
>Sometimes a literal pillar to lean on, he was kind of at the perfect height that she could just rest her arm on and lean onto him
>The fact that it bugged him so much made it fun at first but it quickly just became something they did whenever they were waitin around for something
>Recently something's been bugging her though
>She'd always kind of assumed he had stuff put together in his weird quiet head, but she wasn't so sure anymore.
>Things stopped adding up quite right about him
>Small things that she'd blown off over time, things he said weren't anything to worry about when she raised an eyebrow
>She was never one to pry, and figured if he said it was ok, it was probably ok
>But she could only excuse so much and as she tried to think back there was kind of alot
>She remembered alot of his jokes
>They were nearly always self deprecating, which isn't something she's exactly a stranger to, but she when she tried to count up the times she thought he took it abit far she quickly ran out of fingers to count on
>Then she remembered his bedroom.
>She had thought all the trophies and shit were his, and was about to crack a joke about all of 'em until he walked over to the bare desk to grab some cash out of it.
>When she asked about it he just said that he never really asked for much and made a joke about it being "the perfect room for the silent kid, yeah?"
>She laughed about it because he laughed and let it lie, but why the hell didn't he have anything like his brother.
>It's not like his folks didn't have the money to get him stuff
>Dear Angel, how the fuck has she ignored the mess that are his folks
>He hadn't even told her that his parents were divorced
>She remembered fucking asking about his dad and he didn't even tell her
>Toriel she knew, practically everyone in school had her as their teacher when they were little
>But she didn't know who the hell his dad was, and only got an "Oh, he's at work alot" when she asked where he was all the time, she never saw him around his house
>She only found out about it cause one night he came running over out of nowhere looking like a goddamn mess
>His brother had just gotten home
>Oh god that's another thing she'll have to unpack, isn't it
>For like two weeks previous to that whenever he talked about anything it was always about his brother coming home and how excited he was to see him again
>Which was why on the Friday night when Asriel came home seeing him like that shocked her
>Apparently him and his Mother got into a shouting match because he wanted to go over and see their dad
>Kris couldn't take it and ran out
>When he practically begged her to let him hang out, atleast until they came looking for him, she couldn't tell him not
>They spent the night watching her dad's recordings of old pro wrestling matches and she didn't press on any questions about it since it seemed like he wanted to get away from it that night
>When she woke up alone on the couch the next day she figured his mom had picked him up early in the morning, but she later found out he just walked himself home
>He told her that "Azzy apologized for leaving him alone with Toriel after all that" afew days later, and now thats got her thinking
>Did they not even realize he left?
>His mom was attentive, she got concerned about them being friends when she first found out
>How would she just not notice him vanish into the night
>She called him over to hang out and watch a movie alittle while ago
>She was gonna get to the bottom of this, one way or another

>The movie was some gory horror affair that he brought up a week or two ago
>She had no idea what kind of fun he got out of the film, it just grossed her out personally
>He said he had made the mistake of bringing it up around Toriel when it was in theatres and that after she looked it up she kept him from even getting close to seeing it
>A perfect piece of bait to lure him in with then
>She had no idea how to ask him what was up once she had him, but she was gonna make damn sure she got him at the very least.
>Bought a bag of mini marshmellows from the store on her way home that day and she was pretty sure there was some powdered cocoa mix somewhere in the kitchen cabinets
>Would her collection of comfort foods set him off that something was amiss?
>She hoped not, but she wanted to make sure she had something to comfort him with if shit started hitting the fan

>As the movie was ending, Susie realized she was right about one thing
>She had fuckall idea how to bring this up to Kris
>She almost broke the question during the movie, she put her arm over his shoulders to get his attention and started to say something but when she looked at him it all kind of deflated, and she ended up asking some dumb question about how he was enjoying the movie
>He told her it was good, and that he was glad she was able to get a copy
>And now that the movie was over it was her second chance.
>She was about to give it another go when he opened his mouth first
>"So what else do you wanna watch then? I got my fill, so we could watch one of your action flicks if you want.
>There was no way she was gonna let another movie go by without popping the question, but she had to get ready
>"Yeah, pick something out for me while I go n grab something from the kitchen, alright?"
>She left him thumbing through dvd cases while she heated a mug of water in the microwave, nervously shaking the packet and taking a deep breath to steady her gut
>Added in a splash of milk as she stirred it together
>She'll let him add however many marshmallows he wanted.
>He was still sitting on the floor where they'd been when she came back, deliberating between two final choices
>She really couldn't care less which he chose now, clearing her throat to get his attention
>"Hey uh, wanna sit up on the bed for a minute? Don't really wanna set this down on the floor."
>Kris' eyes lit up when he saw the cocoa and he shoved his hand into the already half empty bag of marshmellows and pulled out a fist full to drop in it
>"Thanks Sus, what'd I do to deserve this though? You've been doin alot for me tonight."
>She let him have a swig of his drink before she sat down on the bed next to him, her stomach churning with nerves
>"Ya haven't done anything, I just thought that, uh- I wanted to."
>Kris set his mug down on what little clear space there was atop her nightstand
>"Are you feeling alright Susie?"
>What an absolute mockery of what she was trying to do his concern was
>"Fuck dude, are you alright?"
>He looked more puzzled than he did a second ago
>"What do you mean?"
>"I mean you've done alot to help me with my shit but I don't think I've heard anything out of you, and I know you're in some rough shit too."
>Kris looked relieved, which only served to piss Susie off more
>Why the fuck is he relieved about this
>"Susie I'm fine, I've been quiet with 'my shit' because I got it under lock, there isn't much to talk about."
>Maybe he was expecting that to be the end of it.
>The way he reached for his drink certainly made it seem like that.
>Susie wasn't fucking having it, and grabbed his arm
>"Don't fucking dismiss it you fucking dumbass, I don't think you got it 'under lock' at all!"
>He grabbed her arm, trying to peel her off
>"I said I'm fine, let go!"
>"No!"
>Susie pinned him down against the bed, holding him there.
>It would've been a bold move in just about every other circumstance, but right now that was the furthest thing on her mind
>"You told me so many fucking times to stop ignoring my problems and now I'm sure as HELL not going to ignore yours!"
>It looked like he was about to cry
>"What do you want to hear! That I'm sad all the time?! Boo-fucking-hoo for me huh?"
>"What I WANT is for you to confide in me goddamn it! We're friends, aren't we! Tell me what's making you sad for fuck's sake!"
>There were tears rolling down his face now, and he refused to make eye contact with Susie
>She wasn't going to allow that
>"LOOK AT ME AND TALK TO ME, FREAK."
>Kris' voice cracked while he shouted back
>"You want me to tell you I'm miserable and awful all the time and ruin this too?! I figured I wouldn't fuck us up but if you want it SO BAD, WHY NOT!"
>Susie clapped her hands to the sides of his face, holding him there andtaking a long stare into his red eyes
>"You're not ruining anything Kris, what are you on about!"
>He just shut his eyes to avoid her
>"I ruined my entire fucking family just by being around, if all I did was mope about it with you why the hell would you stick around."
>"How the hell do you think you ruined your family, Kris."
>Her voice softened, she had finally gotten through to him.
>"How couldn't I have ruined. Everything was great and perfect, Asriel is great and perfect, then I came along and everything fell apart."
>Susie let go of his face, sitting up while still being perched over him
>"Kris, you can't honestly blame yourself for your folks having a divorce."
>He laughed once between sobs
>"What else would it've been, really."
>For all the preparations she made mentally, she had no idea how to console him on this
>"Kris sometimes things just don't work out, you told me that yourself, I'm sure there's more to it tha-"
>Kris cut her off
>"I just wanna rip my soul out again now."
>"W-what."
>Kris was practically inconsolable at this point
>"You know about my shit might as well know how I cope then! Then you'll go back to leaving me alone!"
>He slapped him hand against his chest once or twice, then balled it up into a fist and just fucking slammed it against his chest
>It almost looked like his hand went into his chest with how hard he hit himself and how clenched his jaw was.
>Susie wasn't about to let him give it another go and pinned his hand back against the bed
>"What good does hitting yourself do Kris? Doesn't it just hurt more?"
>He wriggled abit trying to free his arm fruitlessly
>"Let me just fucking show you- I know what I'm doing it's what the cage is for afterall!"
>He swung his free arm hard against his chest once again and shouted out in pain
>It didn't just look like his hand went it this time
>It was very clear
>Susie looked on in fear as he grit his teeth and pull out a red beating heart
>She looked on as some of the red faded from his eyes
>"S-see? It's totally fine, I do this like every night and it's never a problem"
>He starts to motion like he's about to toss it when she grabs his wrist and forces it back against his chest, pushing the heart back in
>She was practically crying too now
>"Don't you EVER do that again. I never want to see that soul out of you again."
>"Susie it's fine, I do it all the time and it hasn't killed me yet"
>She grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him
>"I don't fucking care! Ripping your soul out isn't any way to deal with fucking anything! Why would you rather do that than just fucking talk to me!"
>He was at a loss for words
>"Susie, I don't- I'm not doing this instead of talking to you it's. It's just what I've always done, I don't got anything else."
>Susie could feel the honest resignation in his voice and did the only thing she could think of, and pulled him into a bear hug
>Susie held him there for a moment and felt him start to cry against her collarbone while she pieced together her thoughts before she started
>"It's not the only thing you have anymore."
>She pulled back, looking him in the eye once again and desperately thinking of something to say
>"We got each other now, and neither of us are ripping out any of our souls."
>He wasn't looking away anymore.
>It gave her the courage she needed.
>"Nothing you could do will ruin me or ruin us. I'm me BECAUSE of you, freak, you've given me too much to just ruin it now."
>She gave him a tired, but none the less toothy, grin
>"I don't know if I have all the answers. I'm not a genius when it comes to helping people."
>She fumbled around on the bed, finally unpinning his lower half as she laid down beside him instead, pulling Kris over her to keep him close.
>"I don't want you keeping secrets from me Kris. We're closer than that."
>She had no idea if this was the time or the place to say it, but all of their talk of feelings and pain brought it out of her
>"I love you Kris, alright?"
>Kris laid in her arms for a moment, dumbfounded at both how deftly she was able to finagle him around her bed, and at her sudden confession
>"I. I love you too Susie."
>"I know dork, and that's why you're not allowed to keep this shit from me any longer."
>Kris shuddered in her arms for a moment, holding back before he put his own arms around Susie.
>Neither had noticed how tired this whole ordeal had made them until now
>Susie let out a long sigh
>"We're good for tonight, but this isn't the last time we talk about all this, ok?"
>She was pretty sure she saw him nod, atleast alittle
>"Good. Do you wanna get back to the movies now or what then?"
>Kris was more lively with his second nod, shaking no this time
>"Can we just stay like this for awhile?"
>She tussled his hair alittle
>"Sure freak, if you like cuddling with a dragon that much"
>Her face went crimson at his response:
>"Yeah, I really do."