Nyx's Response

[9:35 PM] Nyx: i... don't know about that
[9:37 PM] Nyx: for starters, some of my friends really don't like you, and that's simultaneously on you and just the environment we were in
[9:38 PM] Nyx: and i wouldn't feel good explaining to them that the person who hurt me and possibly traumatized them is now buddy-buddy with me again
[9:39 PM] Nyx: second, i...
[9:40 PM] Nyx: you are a potential fellow game developer, and somebody whose opinions i respect
[9:40 PM] Nyx: but us being friends was bad for both of us, and i don't want to do that again
[9:42 PM] Nyx: i hold you kind of responsible for my "condition," it was there from the beginning but you let it grow and normalized it and messed up my mind in ways i'm still feeling the effects of today
[9:43 PM] Nyx: i don't say this out of anger, if anything i'm happy i can finally get this off me
[9:46 PM] Nyx: (for the record though... i did get better. not by changing my pornography tastes, but by finding a nice girl that is my age and attractive and calls me "mistress" while fingering herself on video call)
[9:46 PM] Nyx: (you know i have to flex on you :ceyda:)
[9:49 PM] Nyx: i think that it's good we can talk to each other like this *now,* but i don't want us to be in the same life like we were
[9:51 PM] Nyx: i think about you too sometimes, and about what could be salvaged, but in the end i remember that we split up because we weren't good friends to each other, neither of us were
[9:52 PM] Nyx: i'll say that right now, i was shitty as fuck
[9:52 PM] Nyx: i wasn't listening to ANYONE, i thought you all were going to leave me, i hated myself and took that out on all of you
[9:53 PM] Nyx: and it's taken me literal years to change my way
[9:53 PM] Nyx: in the end you were right, it is belief that can change the nature of a person
[9:54 PM] Nyx: but in order to believe, i had to see that it was possible
[9:54 PM] Nyx: i'm incredibly thankful to all my friends, both old and new, who've helped me see that a better future is attainable, and made we want to attain it
[9:56 PM] Nyx: but a large part of that came from me leaving the discourse disco, and seeing a world outside of that toxic environment
[9:57 PM] Nyx: i sort of forgive you for everything you did, you didn't know better and just did the best with what you had
[9:57 PM] Nyx: but i will not roll those dice again
[9:59 PM] Nyx: uh fuck what else do i say
[9:59 PM] Nyx: i think that should be it yeah