Thread 103: Stories 76-85

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OMAKE!
>SA
"Maud"
~~~

>Well, that was a heck of a fight!

"A little long."

>Yeah, kinda long. That happened.

"But we did finally fight."

>We did finally fight!

"This was fun."

>SUPER fun!

"..."

>...

"..."

>...Why are you looking at me like that?

"By rights of my families tradition, we are now married."

>...

"..."

>...n-not...

"..."

>...N-NOT ANOTHER ONEEEEEE! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

BLAM!

"...Sister, if they kill themselves afterwards, does that mean the joke succeeded? I expected more laughter."

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Non-Canon
>Pinkie
~~~~
>Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content does matter, but it's never too late for your's truly! Now for our main segment...mail time!
Applause as a wall-eyed pony drops off a sack of letters. Pinkie opens a letter.

>Let's see...This one says "If you don't send a copy of this letter to 5 other ponies, bad luck will happen to you." Aw it's just a chain letter.
Opens up another one.

>This one says "You are the most annoying pony I know. No wonder they don't give you any character development." Ow...Hurtful.
Opens up another one.

>How about this one? "If you see your sister Maud, tell her to bring home souvenirs. -Your Father." Will do daddy!
Opens up another one.

>Some actual fan-mail would be nice. Aha "We love your show, Pinkie and thank you for everything. Here's some tickets to our concert. Your friends, the Queenlings." Oh hey, it sounds like they're doing good...I guess that's a good enough note to end on...I'll see everypony next thread!
A wacky waving inflatable tube pony inflates and Pinkie flail along with it.
>Byyyyyyyyyyyyye!

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OMAKE!
>Pinkie
"Rarity"
~~~

>GASP! OH NO!

"GAH! WHAT!?"

>We still have to entertain the Yak dignitaries!

"...didn't... didn't you already do that? There was a thing about that."

>Not in this lifetime!

"Oh. Well, so, what, we just do what you did in that not-lifetime?"

>Pffft, no! We're slightly different, so we have to be a little... 'more' here.

"Oh? And how do you suppose we do that?"

>Well, ask yourself this. How does one normally entertain fat, hairy, loud and obnoxious individuals who never like anything and complain all the time?

"....N-"

~~~

"PINKIEEEEE!"

>Wooo! Stop complaining and shake this booty, Rar!

"Pinkie, we're the Elements of Harmony, not strippers!"

>One, we're not wearing anything but fishnets, so we're not stripping.

"PINKIE!"

>And two, do you see them complaining?

"That one just slapped me on the ass!"

>Tell the bouncer and he'll throw them out.

"HE IS THE BOUNCER!"

>Oh... well then, hope he tips well! If you know what I'm saying!

"PINKIEEEEEEE!"

>Oh, please, at least this isn't as bad as the episode.

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OMAKE
>Spike
"42"
~~~

>...Remember when we used to get all the action scenes?

"...yep."

>...And be awesome?

"...Well, actually, I never got to do anything major during the arcs, I've been a support character since the start."

>Oh, right... remember when we used to be cool?

"No. I remember when I got interesting character development, though."

>....

"That happened."

>Right, but remember when we used to fight ponies?

"No, I mostly fought monsters and robots. I think the only pony I ever 'fought' was when I punched Jetset."

>You are ruining my buzz here.

"Fine, remember when we used to hang out and be chill?"

>That was just this thread!

"..."

>...Oh, right.

"...Heh."

>Heh... guess we still have the important bits.

"That we do."

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OMAKEEEEE~!
>29
"Luna"
~~~

>OH DEAR LORD IT'S HORRIBLE!

"...Really?"

>MINE EYES! THEY BURN! LET ME TEAR THEM FROM MINE FACE SO I MAY NEVER AGAIN BE FORCED TO GAZE UPON THIS AGAIN!

"It's not that bad..."

>IT BURRNNNNS!

"This was supposed to be thine relaxing bit before the real challenge."

>AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

"...Mine filly pictures are not that horrifying."

>AHHHHHHHH

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OMAKE
>7
"Fluttershy"
'Buttercup'
[Bubble]
~~~

>AHHHHH!

SLAP!

"BAD! BAD CHANGELING!"

SLAP!

"YOU DO NOT HURT ANIMALS!"

SLAP!

>MY TEETH!

"BAD BAD BAD!"

SLAP SLAP SLAP!

'*Sobs* why is magic yellow pony doing this!? WHAT DID HIM DO!?'

[Me sorry! Me sorry! SORRYYYY!]

"You have nothing to be sorry for, it's HIM-"

SLAP!

>OH FUCK I THINK MY EYE JUST POPPED OUT!

"-who needs to be sorry! You are a bad, bad, BAD changeling for hurting her! BAAADD!"

SMMMMMACK!

[HIM DIDN'T!]

"...wait what?"

'Him just do brain stuff so we talk!'

[Please put him dooooohowhowhooownnn! Plllleeeeassssheheeessse!]

"...Oh dear. Well! It looks like this has been a horrible misunderstanding, right Seven?"

>...

"...Seven?"

Shake shake.

>...

"...oh dear..."

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"Well, I guess it's not the first time I've buried three bodies."

'You am mean one body, right?'

"..."

'...s-shoot...'

"Sorry."

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>Sunset
‘QS’

>So….how are you?

‘Well gee! Thanks for asking I’m fine thanks!’

>Good, good. Y’know, I’ve been thinking I could use the um…’services’ of a guard like you.

‘Oh? Something to report ma’am?’

>No, no….but tell me. Are you any good with your tongue?

‘Well to be honest, I’ve never been called a cunning linguist, but I guess I know my way around.’

>…How do you feel about, ‘toys’

‘Well they’re great for kids! I play with my niece all the time!’

>…Come again?

‘Yeah! Her favorite is my old red fire truck!’

>RRRiiiiiiight. How do you feel about chocolate sauce or whipped cream?

‘Well they’re great on ice cream and other desserts.’

>Think they’d look good on me?

‘While that’s very fashion forward I have to be honest it seems like it would make kind of a mess.’

>Then maybe you could use that tongue to help me…clean up?

‘I dunno ma’am, that seems like it would just get you all sticky.’

>Mmmm….I hope so. Then maybe a shower after?

‘Showers are great! They really let you be alone with your thoughts and help you refocus y’know? I just love taking a good long shower to get away from everyone and everything.’

>…Look, I thought I was better at this but apparently not, I want to have sex with you.

‘Huh….well I hear they do that up in Shetland, but that’s probably just mean spirited rumor. Really ma’am your sheep oriented lesbianic tendencies aren’t really my jurisdiction, and I think that may be illegal.

>…

‘Ma’am? Your eye is twitching. Is something wrong? …Ma’am?

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>SA
"Fluttershy"
'???'
[???]
~~~~

"O-oh my..."

>Y-yeah, I think I have candy corn... in my bloodstream. I think you need to get me to a hospital-

"It worked!"

>...what.

"Oh, oh goody! It worked! Thank you so much!"

>I have puncture wounds on at least six parts of my body.

"O-oh my, I even got an action scene! Me! I got an action scene! EEEEE!"

>I'm so happy for you.

"Oh, oh my, I want to keep this up. Do I have to...?"

>NO!... Er, I mean, no. You just have to get the ball rolling, and then you normally have your own thing. It's not like this storyline is going to just abruptly stop next thread, these things build over time.

"Oh! Yes, that makes sense. So I don't have to?"

>Nope.

"...C-can I if I want to? You um... that was very nice..."

>...n-nooo-

BLOOP!

'Sorry Fluttershy old dear, but it is only fair if you give someone else a turn.'

>DISCORD! YAY!

'Oh myyyyy~!'

"Awww."

>Er, I didn't mean like that.

'Pooh!'

>I was just happy because... can you magically remove the-

SNAP!

'Good lord, Fluttershy! His veins were mostly cotton candy!'

"I got excited..."

'I can tell!'

>...I feel lighter.

'Losing about fourteen pounds or so will do that to you, your balls were mostly full of spiders.'

>...what....

"Oh, I'm sorry."

'Oh pish posh my dear, I'm sure he enjoyed it! And of course, the real issue was that you did this solo, don't you know you need a little... 'assistance'?'

>What.

"Oh, well, that does sound... n-no no! I have to let someone else have their turn!"

'That's my dear Fluttershy! Just be sure that next time you need a storyline, you get some... help?'

"Oh I will! Thank you so much, Discord!"

'Anytime! Off you go!'

*SLAP!*
"O-oh!"
*SLAM!*

'...Well, now that we're all alone...'

>You got them all out, right?

'No hurting to check...'

>...Safety first, after all.

'That's what I thought. Yummy yummy, want some Shiny in my tummy... ahhhhmm-'

SLAM!

>GAH!

'Hm?'

[You, Dickcord, get out.]

'HM!'

[NOW!]

>...Hi, Dash? Can I help you?

[Yeah, you can kick the lego-blocks beast out of here and let me get to work!]

'...Hmm HMM!'

>Uh... you sure you need to-

[Listen here you, my storyline was MIA this thread, and that shit ain't flying! I'm finally having character development and I'm going to ride it all the way to the end, including if that means I have to ride YOU to the end!]

'...Mwah... Well, if you do insist, she has a point. I suppose I'll wait for another day. Ta taa~!'

*POOLB!*

>...Damn.

[Excuse me!?]

>Nothing, nothing... just... this is going to be really painful to me, isn't it?

[Nahhh, I'm a completely normal pony! No freakish superpowers, no crazy abilities, nothing. I'm just Equestria's fastest flier.]

>Oh... oh, well, good! I might actually enjoy myself this time, instead of... like... being almost killed, or burned alive, or... lots of other things. Wow, this goes badly for me everytime, I'm noticing.

[pffft, whatever. There is just one thing, though.]

>...o-oh?

[Yeahhhh.]

*CRASH!*

>AHHHHH!

[I do it while I fly.]

>NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE! AHHHHHHH!

[Don't worry, I probably won't-Whoops.]

>AHHHHHHH!

[Come back here with my screentime!... Also, don't die or some shit!]

>AHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhh....

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OMAKE!
>Cadence
"Rarity"
~~~

>...So am I gonna... do stuff...

"I don't... know... what about me?"

>Dunno.

"..."

>...

"...You know, your husband often does... stuff in these, do you want to-"

>Not really no.

"Oh."

>...

"..."

>...

"You're suuuure-"

>Yes.

"..."

>...

"...Screw it, I'm going to find NC Spike and roll with this."

>Have fun!... Such a nice mare..........................

...........

>......I'm pregnant in the show........

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