DrugAnon

>Be Anon
>Be reading some Alchemy and Herbalism books you got from the Zigga.
>Well, an Anon's got to work, and you were always good at pharm.  Not recreational either.
>Ok, not just recreational either.
>On that topic, if even half of the stuff you've researched so far is true, you could build a narco-empire the likes of which had never been seen!
>Not in Equestria 'though.  Ponies just didn't get addicted the same way people did.
>Or, rather, even if they did get addicted, a couple spells later and it was like they never taken it.
>Damn ponies.
>Ding-dong the witch is dead!
>You get up from the couch and open the door.
>“H-Hi, Anon.”
>You look the yellow zoophile up and down.
>Hmm.
>No, chains, whips.  She's not wearing latex or rubber.  Not riding a wooden horse (That memory will haunt you forever, mostly at night.  Alone.)  So this was most likely an action.
“Ok, Shy, I'll bite.  What are you guessing this time?”
>“O-oh, um, well.  I-is, is me nervously stammering through a list of fetishes your fetish?”
>You blink stupidly.
“What.”
>Nice recovery.
>“W-well, it's just that, Pinkie said that you... I mean not you specifically, but alternate versions of you, are always...”
“I'm going to stop you right their Yellow.  First, alternate versions, second, no.”
>She visibly deflates.  You don't think you've ever seen a pony look that miserable.
>Maybe Ponk in a depressive phase.
>But certainly no-one mentally sound.
>Mostly mentally sound.
>“Oh.  Ok, I'm sorry I bothered you.”
>You sigh and shake your head.
“Look, come inside, and I'll make you a cup of tea.”
>Yellow Scared brightens immediately.
>“Hey, Anon.  Is making cups of...”
“No.”

First green.  Should I continue?
Yes/No/An Hero?


>Be Anon.
>Still.
>Sometimes, you just wish you could have something to single you out from the sea of other anons
>'Like a name?  Fag.'
>Shut-up Anon.
>Desperately Trying to Get the Monkey D, and yourself, are currently sitting at your table.
>Drinking quite excellently made tea, if you do say so yourself.
>You would have preferred coffee, but apparently it's a niche market here.
>The conversation is not going well.
>Every time you try to suggest she eases off, or does something else, she asks if it's your fetish.
>Dammit, this horse will not give up.
>You even tried suggesting she find someone else and have them dress-up like you.
>You find yourself astounded by how much Fetish Pone knows about NTR.
>And different types of NTR.
>It's really quite horrifying.
>But now your wondering if you have some kind of sedative in the house.
>Nothing strong, just something to make her tired and calm her down a bit.
>“Is drugging ponies your fetish, Anon?”
>*Le spit-take*
>Da fuck?  Can Flutters read minds now?
“Come again?”
>“Those books you left open on the couch.  They...”
“Are borrowed from Stripy so I can learn how all the chemicals and plants in this place react to each other.”
>Phew, that could have been worse.
>“Oh, so?”
“No, drugging ponies is not my fetish, Yellow Vet.”
>“What about giving ponies stupid names?”
“Nah, that's just a bad habit.”
>Fluttershy sighed and looked back at you.
>“Thank-you for the tea Anon, and for putting up with my... issues... but I really should be getting back to my animals.”
>Yellow Shy stands to leave and you walk with her to the door.
“Listen Shy, you're a good friend, and I'm flattered you feel that way about me.”
>You squat down so you are at her eye-level.
“But you're a friend, and I'm not going to hurt either of us by pretending otherwise.  Ok?”
>Flutters was avoiding eye-contact but managed to nod her head.
>“O-ok. I won't bring it up again.  Bye Anon.  See you at the party tomorrow.”
>Oh yeah.  Party Hard was, you guessed it, throwing a party.  You honestly couldn't remember what this one was for.  Oh well.  You'll find out tomorrow.
“See you, and cheer-up, you're a great pony, and I'm a jerk.  You can do much better.”
>Flutters nods and heads down the road as you shut the door.
>“Page 74, Elixir of Obsession: Love-Lies-Bleeding, Poison Joke, Milk of Soma, and a representation of the Obsession to be imbued.”
>If anyone could see it, Flutters' smile at that moment would have rivalled the Stare for panic incitation.
>“Oh, yes Anon.  I can do much better indeed.”


>Be Fluttershy
>Be the day after you visited Anon and found that page in his book.
>You may never be able to guess his fetish.  After all, that was a very long potential list.
>But you could make one.
>Which leads you to now.
>And your problem.
>You got the basic ingredients easily enough.
>Having friends that constantly went into the Everfree could be so useful at times.
>All that was left was the Obsession.
>It could be anything!
>You could make him an aggressive rutting machine, always wanting to drag you off some place and pound you raw.
>Or perhaps you would prefer a submissive little sex-slave, that worshipped the very ground his mistress tread upon.
>Just make him obsessed with you generally.  Unable to get you out of his head!  Maybe he'd even start trying to find your fetish.
>Except he already knew it.
>Dammit.
>There were far to many options here.
>*Shave and a Hair-cut*
>Celestia dammit! What now?
“Wh-who is it?”
>Nailed it.
>“Just me, Fluttershy.  You asked me to come by and take you to the party, darling.”
>No!  It's to soon!  The potion isn't ready yet!
“Just one moment, Rarity.”
>Ok think Fluttershy, there must be something that...
>'Is drugging ponies your fetish, Anon?'
>You rush upstairs and raid the medicine cabinet.
>Dumping a random assortment of drugs into the mix you quickly finish and drain off a vial worth.
>Yep, brilliant, this couldn't possibly backfire horribly.
>Donning your travelling coat and hat you secret the potion.
“Hello, Rarity.  I'm sorry that took so long, I had to put some things away, and make sure food was out and...”
>“Fluttershy, dear, it's quite alright.  Come then, we mustn't be late.”
>No, no we certainly mustn't that.


~~~~INTERMISSION~~~~
>Be Pinkamena Diane Pie
>And be really frustrated at the constant perspective changes.
>Is the writefag really that ADD?
>You're one to talk, Ponk.
>I'm not ADD.  I'm high!
>Whatever, don't you have a party to run?
>Nope!
>No?
>The party's not for another ten minutes silly!
>So why are we here now?
>Because you think you're funny!  And because everyone else is walking, and therefore boring.
>So why don't we time-skip?
>Ummm, because I'm your favourite pony?
>But you're not Nightmare.  You're not Nightmare at all.
>Just so you know writefag.  You have terrible taste in best ponies.
>Sue me.
~~~~INTERMISSION~~~~

>Be Anon
>The party was in wind-down now.  Only a few stragglers left.
>You're sure Ponk reminded you what the party was about when you came in.
>But that was several hours, and about a dozen vodka shots, ago now.
>Damn, ponies can make some grain alcohol.
>You are now regretting that time you challenged Applepone and Top Cunt to a drinking contest.
>Not because you lost, you won, but because they're now constantly challenging you to re-matches.
>You look at you two competitors.
>Cum Inside was basically out of it.  She was only holding on out of pride.
>Boozejack was another matter.  She honestly looked like she had barely started drinking.
>“You holdin' on alright there, sugarcube?”
>“Fah... hew.  I cahn bet y...”
>Farm Horse looked at Dash incredulously.
>You chuckled.
“Whatever you say, lightweight.  Hey, maybe we could find you some half strength to compete with?”
>Rainbow Crash tried to look enraged, but the lack of muscle control mostly made her look confused.
>“Wh-why you 'it-'ittle.  I'm gonna...”
>*crash*
>Yep, should not have tried to stand up.
>Applepone shakes her head and looks at you.
>“Well, then.  Ah 'spose that's her out of the competition.  What about you, Anon?  Feel up to a real contest?”
“Sure, when you find one let me know.”
>Country laughs and shots her next glass.
>“Ah surely will, Anon.  There must be somepony in this town who can hold their liquor.”
>You put back your own shot.
“Well, as Big Mac technically lives outside of town, that seems unlikely.”
>You grab the bottle to refill the glasses.
>Empty.  Dammit.
>“Tarnation, where's the next bottle.”
>Purple Smart looks over from where she's arranged an unconscious Rainbow on the couch.
>“No.  No more.  I'm cutting the both of you off before I end up holding your mane out of the toilet.  Again.”
“Aw, come on Twi.  It's just a bit of harmless fun.”
>“I said no Anon.  You are both dry.”
>“Alright Twilight you win.”  Boozepone looks at you.  “We'll do this some other time.  Bring a spare suit.”
>Before you can retort Yellow Quiet puts down a tray with two mugs holding some kind of steaming brew.
>“Um, I hope you don't mind.  But I made these for you, it's meant to help you sober-up.”
>You and AJ look at the mugs, each other, and back to the mugs.
>Shrugging you pick them up and try it.
>It's actually quite good.
“Ok, I have two questions.”
>“O-oh, um.”
“First, what's in this, because it's really good?  Second, why do you know how to make an intoxication cure?”
>“Well, it's really just some forest herbs, I can get you the recipe later if you like.  And well, some of my friends may have had problems with alcohol in the past.”
>She looks meaningfully at Rainbow Coma.
>“And, if it's all right with you, it would be better if you didn't inform Rainbow of future contests.  Um, please?”
>“Shy, Ah, Ah had no idea.  I promise not to involve her from now on.”
“Same, no more Crash in our drinking contests.”
>You finish your sobriety tonic.  It really is quite good.






>Be Anon
>Be working in your LABORATORY!!!  MWAHAHAHA!
>Ahem.
>You're actually cutting up herbs in your kitchen.
>You've also got some carboys set up waiting for their mixtures to settle.
>You miss your centrifuge.
“Ok, lets see.  Done, done, done... soak overnight in an extract of Atropa Belladona.”
>Fortunately you could buy that by the keg here.
>Just WHY you could buy belladona extract by the keg was best not to ask.
>Still, that was your preparations done for the day.  Tomorrow you'd have to start selling.
>It honestly wasn't hard work.  The hospital bought enough of your stuff to get by, something about “supporting the local industry”.
>And the local ponies were starting to see you as some kind of Shaman/Witch Doctor thing.
>Which would have been Zigga's role if she didn't live in the middle of a possessed forest.
>Note to future me, promised to return Zee's books this weekend.  Need to enter forest.
>Reply to past me, noted, and fuck you.
>You settled down to flick through the books again.
>You'd really become wrapped-up in them lately.
>There was some fascinating stuff.
>You couldn't wait to see it in action.
>Except few ponies would buy any of the interesting items.
>And those that would certainly wouldn't want anyone watching their use.
>Which means you needed a guinea pig.

>Hmm, Twillot wasn't really an option.  As much as you could convince her to join in “for SCIENCE!” she's much more suited to the other side of the table.
>Ponk?  A possibility.  She'd try anything at least once just for shits-and-giggles.
>Rainbow Bitch?  Nah, after last night everyone is making sure she stays on the wagon.
>*Knock-Knock it's the vice squad fucker*
>Hmm, you weren't expecting visitors today.
>You put the book down with a sigh.
“Yeah, I'm coming.”
>You open the door to a rather smug looking orange hick.
>“Afternoon, Anon!”
“Jacqueline, what brings you here?”
>“Well, we got our sales done early today, and Ah got ta' thinkin'.”
>“Ah never did get ta' put you under the table.”
“You're on Booze Horse.  Just let me grab my things.”



>Be Anon.
>Be walking toward Apple Farm.
>Which should be an Orchard.
>You think.
>What do you know?  You spent your life in front of a computer.
>Or high.
>Country life wasn't really “your thing”.
>But Liquor Jack did make it better.
>At least she didn't constantly shoot her mouth off like Ponk or Top Cunt.
>“'Kay Anon, out with it.”
>Then again.
“Out with what?”
>“You've had that smile stuck to your face since we started off.  And it's your 'I'm plotting something only I or Rainbow would find hilarious' smile, not your 'I'm mildly happy with this' smile.”
>Ok Apple Horse, that was just low.
>Comparing yourself to Cyan Lightweight.
>You were Anonymous!  The final boss of the Internet!
>You were the cruellest being that had ever lived!
>An Internet Hate Machine!
>'Wow, it's 2007 in here.'
>Shut-up Anon.
“Apples, if I told you I had a guaranteed way to win this, how would you respond?”
>“You're either a liar or a cheat.”
“Low, however, this brilliant strategy involves neither spilling my drinks, adding more alcohol to yours, nor dodgying the pour.”
>Booze Pone stops to look at you.  Her eyes narrow briefly, before her face splits into a cruel grin.
>“Well then.  Ah 'spose, in that case I might have ta suggest somekind o' penalty for when ya lose.”
“When?  Alright Booze Horse what do you suggest?”
>“Well, it'd need ta be somethin' that you would never do.  Somethin' more creative than just makin' ya work.”
>Her grin spreads wider.
>“Ya have ta say 'Yes' ta Fluttershy.”

>You stared at her.
>Just stared.
>For a good minute.
>It was getting awkward.
>Maybe not spaghetti awkward.
>But definitely awkward.
“No deal.”
>“Well, ok Anon.  If ya really not sure about ya victory, and your 'Brilliant Strategy' we can just have normal contest.  Tell ya' what.  I'll even let you sleep in barn once ya pass out.”
>Oh, that's how you want to play this Farm Pone?
>You fingered the vial in your pocket.
“And what happens when I win?”
>“You prove your 'Brilliant Strategy' works, and Ah have ta eat my words.”
>Ok
>You could HEAR the scare quotes around 'Brilliant Strategy'.
>This would not stand.
“You're on, Boozy.”



>Be Applejack
>Be watching Anon shot his latest glass.
>Empty glasses and bottles littered the table between you.
>Nightmare, humans could drink.
>Or this human at least.
>Still, you could tell it was effecting him.
>He'd already taken off his jacket and unbuttoned his shirt due to the alcohol induced sweating.
>And it may have been the alcohol talking.
>It probably was.
>But it wasn't an exactly disappointing sight.
>Anon wasn't “big” exactly, but he was cut.
>Every muscle was on display, and the lack of fur only made them stand out even more.
>“Hey, Equestria to Jackie!  It's your shot farm-girl.”
>You shook your head to clear your thoughts.
>Clearly you'd zoned out a bit.
“Yeah, right.  Ah knew that.”
>You shot back your glass.
>Tarnation!  This shouldn't be this hard.
>Sure, you'd drunk more than in most of these games.
>But you could out-drink Big Mac for Celestia's sake!
>One hairless, shirtless, ripped, sweaty...
>No! Stop-it, AJ.
>This was clearly his “Brilliant Strategy”.
>Get you drunk enough to be distracted by his physique.
>Ok, sure you could have a roving eye when drunk.
>But were you really going to fall for such a transparent ploy?
>“You right there Jackie?  It's your shot again.”
>Your eyes snap to Anon.
>The bastard's pretending to yawn.
>Stretching out those delicious washboard...
>STOP-IT!
>You rise up and place both hooves on the table.
>Anon looks at you in mild surprise.
“Ah'm on ta your game Anon.  Ah know exactly what your plan is.”
>“Oh?”
“Y'all planned on getting me drunk enough to get distracted by your body and forget about the contest, and ya know what?”
>You lean in close to Anon's face.  Close enough that you're breathing his breath.
“It's working~”
>You pull back again.
“Now are you going ta take off ya pants and rut me like an animal?  Or am Ah goin' have ta tear 'em off ya?”



>Be Anon.
>Have a splitting headache.
“Dear Faust what did I drink?”
>“Two bottles of vodka, a half gal of moonshine and all the whiskey.”
>Well that would explain...
>Wait, what?
>You look around.
>Nope, scratch that, it hurts to see.
>Instead you feel around.
>Hmm, hay pile, hay pile, your pants, pony cunt, bit and bridle...
>Wait.  Pony cunt?
>“Mhmm, Anon.  Still frisky after last night?  Iffin' Ah'd known humans had such endurance Ah might have turned into Fluttershy.”
>Ok, you're lying in a pile of hay with Booze Pone after...
>HOLY SHIT!  IT WORKED!
>Ok Anon play this cool.
“So, last night wasn't just a drunken dream then?”
>Real smooth Romeo.
>Farm Pone chuckled.
>“If it was.  I think we mighta had the same one.”
>You feel her shift around next to you.
>“Now I hope ya don't think Ah'm the kinda girl that would bed ya and kick ya out without so much as a how'd-ya-do, but Ah'm goin' have ta kick you out.”
>You groan.
“AJ I'm hungover.”
>“Yep, so am Ah, sugarcube.  But we BOTH have work to do.  And Ah at least have already over slept.”
>You struggle up and get dressed, while Applepone tidies her coat and mane.
>It's excruciating, but eventually your both ready for the day.
>Jacqueline walks you to the edge of the farm.
>“Ya know Anon.  Iffin' your ever, lookin' for somethin' ta do, or a free meal or somethin', the fam'll be more than happy ta have you around.”
“The fam, eh?”
>“Don't be cruel Anon.  Ya know Ah'd always be happy to see ya.”
>You watch as AJ walk back toward the rest of the farm holding her tail in the air.
>You pull out the empty vial and throw it in the air.


~~~~INTERMISSION~~~~
>“What if... what if everything was like... some terrible work of fiction created for cheap entertainment?”
>You are Anon.
>You and Ponk are baking.
>Yes, that baking.
>The kind where you got baked.
“Pinkie Pop, who'd be entertained by this?”
>“I did say 'cheap', Nonny.”
“True, dat.  So what's with the pointless intermissions?”
>“Writefag is amusing himself, but knows well enough to not pollute the main story with this crap.”
>And fuck you too, Party Horse.
“Are you sure it's a good idea to piss-off the author, Ponka?”
>“Nonny, you've already drugged and date-raped Applejack.  This story was never ending well.”
“Point.”
~~~~INTERMISSION~~~~



>You are Anon.
>You have finished the deliveries you planned to make today.
>And now you are hiding in a dark room.
>The light still hurt.
>And your latest concoction was photo-sensitive.
>Mostly the light hurt.
>But really, what kind of potion requires something like “mistletoe that has seen light of neither sun nor moon since harvest”?
>Fucking magic.
>Still, this thing “should” give whomever drank it some interesting dreams.
>But there was a catch.
>Isn't there always?
>The only reliable reports of dream-magic are from during Moon Butt's banishment.
>You suspect she'd be able to tell the dream was unnatural.
>But beyond that?  Who knew if she'd just sense a generic “something's off”, or if she'd immediately know it was you, and come in all horns blazing.
>It was risky.
>At least without more knowledge.
>Which you didn't have.
>Which nobody had.
>Except Princess Thought Police herself.
>But that...
“Lightbulb.”
>Ok, that's... a few weeks away yet.
>Hmm, you can prepare for that.
>You'd need to work fast 'though.
>And one pony in particular needed to be distracted before anything else.


>Be Applejack
>Be thinking about Anon.  Again.
>What is with you lately?
>Sure, he was smart, funny we he wanted to be.
>And he had that cheating smooth skin that showed off his delicious...
>Focus girl.
>It wasn't love.  You knew that much.
>You like Anon, sure.  But you definitely don't love him.
>At least.  You're pretty sure you don't.
>So it's just infatuation.
>But really, Anon of all ponies?
>Sorry, people?
>AND WHY, IN THE NAME OF ALL THINGS APPLE, WAS IT DISTRACTING YOU SO MUCH‽
>Ahem.
>You'd been infatuated before.
>Everypony has.
>But this.  This was way beyond anything you'd felt.
>You're honestly starting to understand how Fluttershy feels.
>Of course!  Fluttershy!
>She'd know how to...
>Wait.
>She deals with this by constantly trying to get into Anon's pants.
>Not that that's unwarranted.
>It's an amazing...
>FOCUS!
>C'mon AJ.  It can't be just a sex thing.
>Even if it was amazing.
>Oh, for Celestia's sake.  You're the Element of Honesty!
>Stop lying to yourself.
>You want him.  Badly.
>The fact you can tolerate his presence is, at this point, just a bonus.
>You have to talk to him tomorrow.  Even if you need to invent an excuse to go back to Ponyville so soon.


>Be Fluttershy.
>Be pacing your cottage.
>It's been over a day.
>You wish you could've had more access to the book.
>Just how long did the Elixir take to begin its effect?
>You'd assumed it would happen rapidly.
>But what if it didn't?
>What if it built up slowly over time?
>Or required some kind of trigger?
>You needed to get your hooves on that book.
>You needed to find out everything about the Elixir.
>You needed...
>*Tap-tap-tap*
>You look down to see Angel tapping his foot.
>He roles his eyes and points to the clock.
>Half past one.  Oh, Celestia!  You forgot everyone's lunch.
“Oh, I'm so sorry Angel.  I'm sorry everyone.  I'll fix that right now.”
>You rush off to make lunch for everybody.

>Be Angel.
>Yes.  The rabbit.
>You watch your provider/maidservent FINALLY start to do her job.
>She was rather high-strung lately.
>You like the pony.  Really, you do.
>But she could be so exasperating at times.
>She'd just spent all morning muttering something about “Anon” and a “book”.
>Wasn't Anon the green fellow?
>And didn't the purple one have something to do with books?
>Bah, you didn't have time for Fluttershy's friends.
>Without you to keep order this place would collapse.
>Like a house of cards!
>Still, the Owl knew a thing or two about books.
>You don't live in a library that long without learning something.
>So maybe you could help the poor dear.
>And keep her focused on her FUCKING JOB!


>Be Anon.
>Be sitting on your couch in a dressing-gown.
>We Hugh Hefner now.
>Surprisingly you weren't reading right now.
>I know.  I'm shocked as well.
>You're writing instead.
>A number of flasks and vials are arranged before you.
>All of them full of some strange solution.
>None of which was from a recipe.
>No these were your own babies.
>Your children.
>Each one built from first principles.
>Hence the notepad.
>You had a rough idea of what they would do.
>And you certainly knew what you WANTED them to do.
>But the actual effects?  That would require... research.
>And research required book-keeping.
>Of course, you weren't the Princess of OCD.
>Soon your notes were a mess of side observations, tangents and expectation.
>Meh.  It just made it harder for anyone to work out what you're doing.
>Not that you planned for anyone else to ever see this.
>But paranoia never hurt anyone.
>You picked up one of the vials.
>Certainly not the safest option available to you right now.
>But “safe” wasn't going to work in this instance.
>No this needed “potent”.
>And this stuff was strong.
>Maybe to strong.
>You honestly think you might be going to far with this.
>It was certainly point-of-no-return.
>Ah, who are you kidding.
>Point-of-no-return was last night with Cider Horse.
>One way or the other, this had to be seen through.
>You smiled as you place the vial in the pocket of your suit jacket.
>Cleaning up the coffee-table you sigh the resigned sigh of one who knows their decisions have already been made.
“I'm sorry.  But it needs to be done.”




~~~~INTERMISSION~~~~
>Hi Pinkie.
>Hiya!  Writefag.
>You know what part this is right?
>Part 4, the part where Anon fucks me up?
>The part where Anon fucks you up.
>This is that part?
>'Fraid so, Potato Pie.
>Are we still going to do the intermissions?
>Of course.  It's not like they're connected to the plot.
>Dammit writefag.
~~~~INTERMISSION~~~~


>Be Anon.
>Be conveniently hungry.
>Also be conveniently lunch-time.
>You shouldn't be this anxious.
>It wasn't like this was the first time you'd drugged a pony.
>Granted they usually asked first.
>Well, ok.  Appuls didn't.
>But that wasn't exactly your standard operating procedure.
>It's not like you just went around drugging every pony you met.
>And yet.  Here you are.
>About to drug another pony.
>If fact.  About to drug another pony specifically to make future drugging of ponies easier.
>What the fuck is wrong with you?
>Ok, Anon.  Breathe.
>If you walk in there acting anxious she'll know something's up.
>And that would blow this whole thing apart.
>You had considered taking something yourself before hand.
>You had plenty of substances to help relaxation or calm thoughts.
>Some Dutch courage wouldn't have gone astray either.
>But you eventually decided against it.
>You had one chance at this.
>And you needed to be clear headed.
>If you couldn't get under control by yourself you might as well give-up right now.
>And you weren't doing that.
>Not now.  Not on the threshold.
>You were committed.
>You had to be.
>Through that door was the end, and the beginning.
>No matter the outcome, everything changes now.
>For better and worse.
>You sigh, and open the door to Sugar-Cube Corner.


>You are Pinkie Pie
>And you've been edgy all day.
>'Insert OC here.'
>Hilarious, Ponk.
>'Aww thanks, you too writefag!'
>Your Pinkie Sense was doing...
>Well, you're not sure what actually.
>This wasn't right.
>It was almost like just before Twilight showed up.
>Or when Discord broke free.
>But different somehow.
>With those you knew everypone would come through the doozy ok.
>Maybe not unchanged, but without any real harm.
>But this.
>It was more like the harm had already started.
>And it would get worse before it got better.
>“If” it got better.
>Somepony had been hurt.
>And you don't think even they knew it yet.
>Still, you couldn't mope around!
>When a pony is unhappy, they make everypony around them unhappy.
>So smile, smile, smile!
>*My ding-a-ling, my ding-a-ling*
>'Really writefag?'
>In walks your favourite hairless, green, monkey in a suit!
“Nonny!  What can Pinkie Pie do for you today!”
>You pronked around and forced Anon into his chair.
“You just sit there.  I'll make you a “special” batch of those brownies you love.”
>You start toward the kitchen.
>“Actually Polka.”
>You stop and turn.
>Waaaiiit.  Wasn't Polka Cheese Sandwich?
>“Aren't you on lunch soon.”
>You look at the clock.
>Huh.  Your lunch break started four minutes ago.
>You must really be distracted.
“Weeelll, the truth is I'm already on it.”
“But that's ok!  Your my friend Anon!  I really don't mind putting in the extra...”
>“Pinkie!”
>“I was on my way to lunch, and dropped in to ask if you wanted to join me.”
>Your tail twitched.
>Something had changed recently.
>Something major.
>This couldn't be left to fester.
“Oakie-Dokie Loki!  Lead the way!”


>You are still Pinkie Pie.
>And Anon is still being a butt.
>No, that's not fair.
>It's not his fault everyone else is blind.
>But he's not telling you something.
>And you KNOW something happened.
>Even if he doesn't yet.
>These frustrating blind foals!
>You could just about slap some sense into...
>Smile, smile, smile!
>You're sitting al fresco eating the largest cake on the menu.
>Anon's eating... something with meat in it.
>You never really got the hang of griffon cooking.
>You think it was the smell.
>But this smelled surprisingly good.
>Like an open spice rack.
>You didn't want to know how much money Anon was paying the cafe to import this stuff.
>“So what's wrong?”
>You give a surprised start.
“Whatever do you mean Nonny?  I'm not the one being evasive and vague when asked if anything happened in the last couple of days?”
>Anon put down his fork, looked at your plate, and back to his own.
>“I'm finished.  You're only half done.  You've spent this entire meal asking about my personal life, which, admittedly, isn't that weird for you.  And your back leg hasn't stopped shaking since we left Sugar-Cube Corner.”
>Huh, and you thought he was only partly paying attention to you.
“Well, see.  My Pinkie Sense has been telling me SOMETHING, but I can't for the life of me work out...”

>“Anon!  Pinkie!  Ain't you a pleasant sight!”
>You look up to see Applejack walking toward you.
>“Hello, Jacqueline.  What brings you back to Ponyville so soon?”
“Hiya, AJ!  Sit down, join us.”
>“Mighty friendly of ya.  Don't mind if Ah do.”
>AJ sits down next to Anon at the table.
>“So, what're you two do... Celestia Anon, what were you eating?”
>“Rabbit.”
>“Rabbit.”
>“Yep.”
>“Don't let Shy find out.”
>“Who do you think I got the rabbit from?”
>AJ just stared at Anon for a couple of seconds.
>“Soooo, Ah hope Ah'm not interrupting anything dropping in unannounced like this.”
“Nope!  Anon just dropped into Sugar-Cube Corner to ask me to lunch.”
>AJ did her eye-brow thing at Anon.
>“Dat so?”
“Saaay, Applejack.  Maybe you can help me with something.”
>“Sure thing, sugarcube.  Just ask.”
>The look of pure panic on Anon's face was priceless.
>More so because it told you that you were on the right track.
“Anon's being really evasive when I ask him if anything changed recently.  I don't suppose he's said anything to you?  You do drink together a lot, and they say alcohol is the universe's truth-serum.”
>She's blushing.
>She's actually blushing!
>JACKPOT!
>“Well, Ah don't rightly know.  Ah mean, why would know about anything that...”
“Oh, AJ you are a terrible liar.”

>Anon put his hand on AJ's shoulder.
>“What she means is.  We're still feeling this out, and trying to decide what exactly we what from it, so we'd rather not be made a big deal of.”
“Sure thing!  I'll just invite the girls and Spike.  Oh, and you two love birds of course!”
>Celestia, you're an idiot!
>Here you were.  In an absolute panic over everything changing.
>“Already hurt”!  Really.  Just a new couple trying to find their hooves.
>Feet in one case.
>Right.  You'd need steamers.  Cakes.  Balloons, of course...
>“Pinkie!”
>“Pinkie!”
“Oh, sorry guys!  I got distracted planning your 'Welcome the New Couple' party.”
>“Pinkie, Ah know you mean well.  But no parties.”
“NO PARTIES‽”
>“Please Ponk.  We don't even know if this will be a long term thing yet.  No point getting everyone excited in case it doesn't pan out.”
“But it WILL work out I just know it!”
>Yeah, like you “just knew” someone was hurt?
>Shut-up brain!
>“Polka, please.  For us.”
>You looked at them.
>They seemed so sincere.
>Like they ACTUALLY didn't want a party.
>At least not yet anyway.
“Fine.  But WHEN you make it official, I get to cater.”
>“We wouldn't have it any other way sugarcube.”
“Great!  Now let's have a toast!”
>“Really, Pinkie there's no need.”
>“C'mon Jac, let her have this one.  I'll grab the drinks.  What did you girls want?”
“Rum.”
>“Figures you'd drink fermented sugar.”
“And what are you getting 'Cider-Pone'?”
>AJ's ear twitched.
>“Bourbon.  Neat.  Make it double.”
>Anon gets up to go grab the drinks.

“Soooo... tell me EVERYTHING!”
>“Oh, c'mon Pinkie”
“Nuh-ah AJ.  You're not getting out of this that easily.”
>“Ah swear.  Sometimes you're as bad as Rarity.”
“Not nice AJ.  At least things told to me, STOP at me.”
>AJ sighed.
>“Ya right, Pinkie, and Ah'm sorry.  It's just... this is WEIRD for me.”
>Weird?  Ok, AJ wasn't the most romantic of ponies, but it wasn't like she'd never had a relationship.
“Weird?  How so?”
>“Ah guess Ah'm just... just trying to work out how Ah feel.”
>“Ah know love, lust, that bull-shit ya go through when you're a filly and think you'll die if that one stallion doesn't notice you.”
>“This is... something else again.  Ah don't know.  Maybe this is what ponies call 'True-Love'.  Or maybe Ah'm being silly and in three weeks we'll hate each other.”
“Awww.  It's so cute.  Little Jackie getting all caught up in big filly emotions.”
>“And buck you too, Amish.”

“Ouch.  Ok, I deserved that.  But tell me this at least.”
>“Hmm?”
“Just how justified is Fluttershy?”
>AJ leant back smiling.
>“Well, let me put it this way.  If Ah had known then, what Ah know now.  Fluttershy would've had competition.”
>You squee and clap.
“AJ, I cannot tell you how happy I am for you.  Really.  When were you planning on telling the others?”
>“When Ah'm certain this ain't a temporary fling.”
“You're no fun.”
>“Oh, I wouldn't say that.”
>Anon picked that moment to return and place your drinks in front of you.
>“I can think of plenty of fun things she knows how to do.”
>He sat next to AJ and held his arm up as she snuggled into him.
“D'aww.”
>Four eyes were rolled at you.
>Anon picks up his glass.
>“So, what are we toasting?”
“True-Love and future happiness of course!”
>AJ groaned while Anon chuckled.
>“C'mon Jac, it's cliché, but this is Ponk we're talking about.”
>You blow him a rasberry.
>Applejack sighs and raises her glass.
“Ok, Love and Happiness”
>You all raise and toast your glasses.
>And your world goes black.