conversation about internalizing

S:U never learned properly in the first place
Everytime I get her to do fighting game stuff
Shes rly stubborn st first and is just like
I know what to do
And I'm like yea but just cuz u know doesnt mean u can do it...
So then we talked about internalizing, discipline,getting your brain and hands to work together, making sure you actually do what your brain knows

C:
whenever i think i have internalized something i apparently didn't
it's very annoying

S:
Yea
I think it just shows
Its a long ingrained problem
So you've lost all sense of how to assess it
But
If u just start over
It wont be hard to fix
U just need to start like you're completely new/know nothing

C:
well
i internalized peach stuff properly
and puff and marth stuff
=_=
also that's not helpful because it doesn't actually give me a good heuristic/sense of when i can stop working on internalizing. a complete beginner is able to trust that he internalized it completely when he can do it on the homework and the tests

S:
That's also not true tho
You havent internalized marth or puff imo
Peach is the only one I think if i ever randomly play you,i can expect you to be pretty consistent at what you know

C:
well ok, taking 10 friendlies to remember what to do
is not internalized

S:
Yea
Exactly
If u go to a tourney
And lose to a peach
Usually I can be like
Okay so u played bad or hes better than u but that's on you
I'm not like
Utterly confused at why u couldnt beat something simple

C:
i mean maybe my standard for assessment is off
i probably actually do get distracted too easily when i'm playing cuz i notice tons of new things i'm losing to and try to fix instead of just working on the things i'm working on

S:
I think you're probably
Too quick to reward yourself tbh
And then ironically also hard on yourself in unproductive ways
Like it's great to be like "I did it" when u do it
But then its like
"Okay time to keep doing it"
Doesnt always happen for u

C:
i feel like i've been trying to do the second part recently
but maybe not

S:
Yea I believe u
I just am talking about what I've noticed irl before
yeah i agree
Like you need to take all the I did it moments and make them standard cuz like
You wouldnt notice that you did it
If it was common
But instead since it's not common for u,each success stands out
Which is fine for new things
But then they have to become standardized

C:
i don't even disagree w any of this but the real question is how do i actually create a process that allows me to not only consistently internalize
but also gets me away from being retarded
i mean the other thing i will say is that i think my standard for evaluation in terms of games/sets is bad
like, my goal for every set should just be to be able to do what i know/have practiced, with winning as a secondary thing

S:
yea i agree

C:
how do i put it

level 0: win or lose, don't know why, can't execute
level 1: win or lose, don't know why, can't execute consistently
level 2: win or lose, don't know why, can execute
level 3: win or lose, know why, can execute
nvm that's useless model
just to say that my discipline in tourney is just as bad as my discipline in friendlies because my evaluation is based too much on assessing exactly what's happening
including situations that i'm unfamiliar with
and not "can i recognize situations that i know and can i execute on them"