Gen-onymous (Anon in Series Bible Equestria)

>Day ??? in Equestria
>Be Anon
>And you're just starting to come to.
>A has come to.
>Yes.
>You grunt, letting Applejack know you're alive.
>"Anon? You're not hurt, are ya?"
"I'm alright."
>You slowly start to get up.
"Urgh..."
>Turns out the spell accidentally broke your foot.
>Hurts like hell.
>"Oof...guess Twilight did a number on ya, didn't she?"
>You sighed.
"Yep. Turns out long-distance teleportation is only safe for the caster."
>She nodded. "Ah told her that it was a bad idea, but the girl wouldn't listen."
>Shaking your head, you gave a chuckle.
"Meh, it works."
>You grunted as the pain in your leg started to flare up.
"I mean, besides the whole making my foot limp thing and all."
>She sighed. "Welp, hopefully you'll get better soon."
>You nodded.
>Hmm..
>You glanced at your phone/brick/whatever.
"Anyway...I gotta head out."
>"Where ya headed?"
"To Pinkie Pie's. Still got a job to do."
>She tilted her head.
>Ruh-roh, were you not clear?
"What?"
>"Who's Pinkie Pie?"
>Okay.
>The absurdity of that question caught you offguard.
>You laughed.
"Bahahahah...'Who's Pinkie Pie?'"
>She scowled.
>"Seriously, 'Non. Who is Pinkie Pie?"
>Oh shit she's serious.
>You'd laugh even harder, but it's not like Applejack to lie about this stuff.
>Maybe for a one-line joke.
>But not like this.
"Uh, pink hair pink mane? Bounces a ton, talks a kiloton?"
>"Eenope."
"Throws a ton of parties?"
>"Can't say ah know her."
>Oh boy.
"Let me guess. You've got amnesia?"
>She shook her head. "Nope. Anon, are y'all sure ya didn't hit your noggin on th' ground when you teleported here?"
>Ohhhhhh boy.
"I'm pretty sure. Unless..."
>You try to think about where Twilight was going to send you.
>Probably just to somewhere close to here.
>However, this was a spell she hadn't tried before...
>...!
"Uh, okay. I need to check something. See you later, Applejack."
>And you make your way back to Ponyville and over to Sugarcube Corner.
>But as you walk up to the door, you are blinded by a hoof over your eyes.
>And you hear a distinct giggling as the other hoof embraces your torso in a tight hug.
>"Hey Nonny! Guess who?"
>Phew, at least you're not completely crazy.
"George Washington," you state, jokingly.
>"Nope!" she giggled, her hold on you growing.
"Princess Celestia."
>"I wish."
>You would have shaken your head were it not being held in place by Pinkie.
"Evil Emperor Zurg."
>"Not even close!"
"Pinkie Pie, I know it's you," you finally say.
>That joke was starting to get old.
>"Wow, you're way off."
>Wait what.
"Then who the fuck-"
>It's about this time that you noticed that your feet were no longer on the ground.
>...
>Wait WHAT.
"WHY ARE MY FEET NOT ON THE GROUND?" you yell out of fear.
>"C'mon, Nonny, don'tcha recognize me?" asked the pony that was apparently not Pinkie.
"APPARENTLY NOT."
>You struggle to break free, not even caring that you're gonna fall.
>However, you're soon restrained by the hoof that was formerly on your eyes.
>Okay.
>Thank FUCK you can at least see clearly.
>You look down.
"Don't look down~"
>Too fucking late for that.
>Yep, sure enough you're in the fucking air.
>How the fuck-
"If you're not Pinkie then who the fuck-"
>"Pinkie" turned your body around so she could see you face to face.
>And...well..
"Surprise!"
"What? What happen?"
>"That's my name, silly!"
>Oh.
"Oh."
>Okay, that's-
"Wait what."
>Sure enough, it's a pony that looks almost exactly like Pinkie.
>If Pinkie were blonde and white and a fucking pegasus.
>Okay.
>You take a minute to let that sink in.
>This is Ponk.
>Except she's calling herself Surprise for some reason.
>And she's also a pegasus and not pink.
>You shook your head.
"Okay, Pink- I mean, Surprise. What in the WORLD is going on?"
>"Well, okay so I woke up at like 6 in the morning to get supplies for the party later this evening, and-"
"No I mean, like-"
>But before you could stop her, she started to ramble.
>"-and then I went back to Sugarcube Corner to help Mr. and Mrs. Cake with baking and-"
"Pinkie."
>"THEN I went with Applejack to go visit-"
"PINKIE!" you yell.
>After she stops rambling, you finish what you were trying to say.
"Where AM I?"
>"Riiight here!"
>FUCKS SAKE
"Okay, y'know what? I need answers, you're not getting them to me. I know for a fact you're not answering them. Where's Twilight?"
>She pointed to where a hole in the ground should be.
>There's no hole in the ground.
>There IS a treehouse, though.
>Not a castle, a treehouse.
>You don't remember ever seeing one of those in Equestria.
>"She's at home. Wait..."
>She narrowed her eyes.
>"Weren't you doing an experiment with her earlier this morning?"
"Actually, yes, but I think something went horribly wrong."
>She shrugged. "She tends to do that."
>No kidding.
>"Ooh! We should go visit her and tell her everything's just super-dandy!"
>Before you can say otherwise you find yourself whisked away to Not-Friendship Castle.
>The interior of what you're dubbing Starbutt Treehouse is pretty much what you'd expect from a house built into a giant-ass tree.
>Roomy as fuck, candle-lit, wood all over the place.
>Feels kinda cozy, you gotta admit.
>Once you and Surprise landed in the front door, you look around.
>Books are littered all across the shelves.
>MAN, Twilight's got a problem.
>"TWILIGHT!" yelled Surprise. "YOU IN THERE?!"
>You hear a quiet voice come from upstairs.
>"Shhh! Surprise, you're in a library!"
>Alright, here goes nothing.
"YEAH, BLONDIE, SHUT THE HELL UP!"
>Surprise looked at you in shock, prompting you to wonder what you said.
>Usually that gets Pinkie to chuckle.
>"'Blondie?' Not even -you- call me that."
"Well, see, there's a reason-"
>You hear a couple of hoofsteps come bounding down the stairs.
>And that's when you see her.
>A pink unicorn with white hair, with a dark purple streak.
>That CAN'T be Twilight.
>"Anon? You're alright!" she says, in the normal Twilight voice.
>OH GOD IT IS.
>Okay, play it cool.
>Gather as much info as you possibly can.
>Assess the situation.
>Don't fuck this up.
"Uhhh..."
>I said don't fuck this up.
"Okay, this is gonna be incredibly awkward."
>"Well? Where did the spell send you?"
>Okay, so she sent "Anon" to somewhere.
>She's assuming you're HIM.
"Well, here's the thing. The teleportation spell sent me to Sweet Apple Acres."
>She tilted her head.
"Y'know, the apple farm?"
>"You're thinking of Big Apple Orchard."
>Oh great.
"Whatever. Problem is, you didn't cast that spell. Someone else did."
>She blinked. "Oh? So wait...you were at the Golden Oak when I cast the spell. It sent you to Big Apple Orchard, but you remember somepony else doing it."
"Yeah. Someone else named Twilight. See, here's the problem - I'm Anon, but I'm not actually -your- Anon."
>They gasped. "T-Then...where are you from?"
>You paused for dramatic effect.
"I am from another world. Another Equestria."